Lost Toys

Well they can get lost. Most sex toys are designed for vaginal use. There are very, very few toys designed for purely anal play. And, in case your anatomy knowledge is poor, the vagina is a short thing, and the anus leads to a rather long intestine. So toys designed for vaginal play can get lost in the anus.

There is good news.

The body is naturally designed to expel matter from the intestine via the rectum and anus. So the thing you lost is likely, but not certain, to pop out of its own accord.

So, before you panic, let's look at what will almost certainly pop back out naturally:

Of course you may well want to get rid of certain items immediately, especially if the item you've lost is a vibrator with its engine running! Sounds fun, but I have it on good authority that a good vibrator buzzing away inside you "lost", with a fresh set of batteries can become extremely aggravating after a while!

Removal of the easy items is pretty simple. Lubricate the anus well, and simply wait for nature. If you don't want to wait? Then use a very soapy enema, but fill yourself gently to let the water trickle past the obstruction, and expel the water relatively gently, too.

There are objects which will be a problem, though. These require the major embarrassment of a trip to the doctor. And they've heard all the damnfool excuses before. "I was walking round my bathroom, when I sat on the perfume bottle by accident" is not believable. Just say "Look, I got this thing stuck, and I need help."

Items which need help include badly designed toys with very fat bases that you were too enthusiastic with, or poor quality toys which break. They also include things that were never designed for sex play at all. The list below includes some of the items retrieved from patients by doctors:

Most of these were simple to remove. The concrete was a challenge - you can find it on the net somewhere, if you search - it needed lubrication, plus being eased gently from the bowel walls. This item is now in a medical museum because it is a wonderful plaster cast of the inside of the gut!

Do NOT attempt self help, however embarrassing the situation is, when the item is causing worry or distress. Get medical help NOW. Tearing your anus, or puncturing your gut, would be a serious error. And delay means that nature will apply its own massive pressure which may do just that.

Please use safe toys only. I know we've all tried anything at hand when the mood takes us. The old joke is true enough. Question: "How do you get four poofs on a stool?" Answer: "Turn it upside down." I blame my son for that joke and this section!

Just in case you are barking mad and want to try something unusual, before trying an object, do read The Rectal Foreign Bodies Page. And then stick to sane and safe toys.