Discovering Love

Written by Rick Beck

Chapter 46

Return of Herbert

New Years came and went and I was once again allowed to stay with Greg. After discussing it with Nurse Atilla, I brought him a beer in my coat pocket and acted like I had smuggled it in. I couldn't have given him anything that would have given him a bigger smile. He took his time drinking it and we stayed awake for the New Year celebration and I left after he fell asleep in my arms.

There were three doctors in his room when I got there the next morning, closer to noon than usual. They were all smiles and stood way closer to the bed then ever before. Everybody laughed and seemed to be in good humor as the concern over Greg's leg lessened which made things easier on all of us.

While Greg was never mellow, he did seem more relaxed. There was talk of the future and of "getting out". I still hesitated in asking for the commitment I wanted, because there was always the fear I wouldn't get it, and not only that, speaking the words might somehow upset the perfect balance we'd established. The status quo was so much better than anything I had ever known that I didn't dare risk it. I didn't feel I could ask for much more than I already had, since I felt pretty luck to have as much of him as I did. There was a never-ending battle inside my head that went between securing the future versus holding on to what I had.

Time of course wasn't standing still and neither was Greg. The regular exercise was part of each day. He didn't seem to be gaining any weight, but maybe the exercise accounted for it. He was buffing up and while he was limited in what he could do, anything he could do he did do. Mostly I watched, wiped him down when he was finished, and told him how good he looked. He didn't always seem to believe me but he appreciated the comments, which often led to a massage.

Our intimacy ran in cycles. There were days he wanted me to stay close and there were other days it didn't matter. I tried to keep a regular schedule but there were days I had to study and get the more detailed papers prepared in a way that would look like I spent some time on them. Of course this gave Greg something to complain about, not that I paid much attention.

On the days when he gave me the hardest time, I made a point to be even later the following day, and sometimes I would leave early just to make a point, and he hated that. Nurse Atilla and the gang, who did all they could to make my visits happy visits, weren't pleased when I cut a visit short or arrived late. Greg could still run them ragged if he didn't have anything else to do or was pissed at me. Nurse Atilla seemed to be on my schedule, coming to work in the afternoons, but all summer she had been there when I arrived between seven and eight in the a.m. In the evening when I stayed late, Greg was usually falling asleep, so whatever time she had left would be peaceful. She didn't think I noticed but I did.

As the days moved forward there was the talk of going home. Greg was going to sleep in the living room until he was able to negotiate the stairs and then he would move back into his old bed. I did get invited to his house for dinner on several occasions over the holidays and I was treated like a member of the family. The Colonel was always on and up- beat, although there were always questions about his son's real state of mind. My impression was Greg was almost always in control and nothing got him down for long. They seemed reassured that I felt that way. They were also grateful that I spent so much time with him.

I'm not sure what they knew or admitted to themselves, but I was never questioned about the reasons why. They seemed grateful for it and the reason wasn't important to them. There was talk of the first mountain visit in the spring and the standing invitation for me to go along was made clear. I must admit it was a neat place that I hoped to see again. I had quizzed Doug about August Moon and he said he was still shining brightly.

His parents had specific times when they went up to see Greg, often before I arrived in the morning, and only Doug came while I was there a few times. Whatever had troubled the brothers before, it seemed to have gotten lost after Greg's accident. Doug seemed sincerely concerned and couldn't wait for Greg to get back home. While Greg got more and more studly while he punished his body on the frame of his bed on a daily basis, Doug became more handsome and he seemed more sensitive to me. I loved seeing him and I hated seeing him leave.

He did ask me to come around more often but there was always something to do and I didn't do temptation too well. While I had no reason to think Doug wanted to get things started up again, I wasn't sure and playing it safe seemed best, not that I had time to play at all, not once I was done with Greg each day. He could have worn out two good men but there was only one available and he made the most of it, although I had no complaints.

Speaking of two good men, it wasn't long after New Years that I came up and found Herbie sitting on the heater beside Greg's bed one afternoon, in an army uniform no less. On the foot of the bed sat another uniformed wonder. He looked all of fourteen. I didn't find him all that amusing, although both Herbie and Greg laughed at everything he said. After he got off the bed so I could sit in the chair without interference, Pat stood between Herbie's legs and they did a bump and grind behind me, and Greg couldn't keep his eyes off of them.

After they spent a half an hour in the bathroom together, Herbie came back with a big smile on his face while Pat came back with a big wet spot on his crotch and dirt on his knees. I could only imagine why it took them so long to take a piss, but then I was too busy trying to keep Greg from entertaining thoughts of going off with them. Had he not been chained to a bed, I have no doubt he'd have followed them anywhere for some of that action, and yes, it pissed me off, even though I knew Greg needed to see someone besides me all the time. Herbie was good for him and there was a definite glow in Greg that was good to see.

Of course I suppose Greg had every right to be jealous of his long lanky buddy. They had learned their sex games together. Greg watching Herbie's long dong swing in his pants as he walked hand in hand with his new friend gave me dry mouth. Greg and Herbie swapped tales I'd heard before but they had a great visit and I just listened and smiled a lot.

I must admit that I was dying to ask Herbie about Kent but I knew better and felt evil for thinking about him. When Greg asked about him, I was surprised and listened closely to the information.

"He's still a pain in the ass, but not in a good way. He's got a girlfriend he's had since shortly after we got out West. I'm not sure how serious that is. I'm not around that much but one of the guys from his school sleeps over a lot, and I know Kent well enough to know they don't spend all their time sleeping. Didn't catch them doing anything though."

"You tried?" Greg asked.

"Shit yeah. The guy was adorable. If he was doing what I think he was doing for my brother, they had to do it in stages because he couldn't hold all of Kent's dick at one time."

"Was he cute?" Greg asked as his only half-erect dick started to stand at attention with Pat watching its rise to prominence as it pushed the sheet to one side while Greg was occupied with Herbie's tale.

"Cute? He was like this totally smooth kid with no hair on him. He was only a little over five foot and Kent's almost as tall as I am now. Man I wanted to... well, he was only in high school."

"How do you know about the hair deal?" Pat asked, taking his eyes off of Greg long enough to ask.

"I walked in on him while he was showering. I don't miss anything if I can help it. He watched me piss but didn't express any direct interest in my Polish sausage."

"You didn't shower with him?" Greg asked. "You're slipping. Since when did age ever matter to you. You always liked them young."

"Nah, I'm an adult now. I don't really want to spend large amounts of time incarcerated."

"Oh, I hear those places can be interesting," Pat said, pulling himself away from Greg's thick dick for long enough to put in his two cents worth.

"Yeah, well, you like that action. I'm purely a top man these days. You don't always get the option in jail, Patrick."

"Ohhhhh!" Pat oozed. "We could go over to the motel and you can show me the options."

"Pat! Don't tell them all of our business. They might still think you're a nice boy."

"No, I don't have any such illusions," I said too quickly.

"I'm hurt and I was trying to make a good impression," Pat sighed at me.

"Well, an impression none the less," I said, not being nice and taking in all his stares because I wasn't being nice.

"He doesn't get out much," Greg said. "It's not that he doesn't do the same things you do."

"The green eyed monster rears her ugly head," Herbie said.

"He's interesting, but I got him," Pat said, hugging Herbie while groping him while they slobbered on each other while we watched. "Can't we go to the room now? You said an hour an hour ago."

At another time I might have thought Pat was cute. He was certainly Herbie's cup of tea. He might have been seventeen, but he hadn't seen the sunny side of eighteen yet, and the fact he was in the army and had a pretty uniform didn't make him any less of a little boy. Herbie's taste was true to form and he still picked on the little boys as often as he could, although Pat seemed more anxious than Herbie.

He also had trouble keeping his eyes off of Greg's crotch and that continued to annoy me. I should have thrown the sheet over the steamy organ but I didn't want to be cruel. Greg didn't get much company and it was obvious Pat had obligations that would keep him from returning too soon. I let them exchange glances as things grew and receded at their own pace. Neither of them missed much.

It was almost dinnertime when they left. I was glad we weren't sharing our food with them because I was starved. I skipped lunch to study and my belly was growling all afternoon. My mouth was watering before the food arrived.

Once we were alone there was the predictable tension and my inability to keep my mouth shut about Pat making eyes at him and him making it as easy as he could. Of course Greg was suitably offended by my idea that he would accept favors from anyone but me, and of course, the 3rd Army because it would be his patriotic duty to help out the troops, even the ones who were screaming fags, or especially the screaming fags.

This did nothing for the digestion and I knew better than to get mad at dinnertime but knowing better and being better are really two different things. Of course as soon as I left I imagined that Herbie and Pat were waiting around the corner, so they could go in and have their way with my naked boy in the bed. I woke up dreaming about this and it didn't help matters much and so I got up to take more anti-acid. I was pissed off at Greg, again for no reason except my own insecurities.

He hadn't done anything I would do and even if I did know Greg when he was a total dick, he had changed more than I had and I had no right to expect more from him than he could give me. He was a captive audience, my captive audience, and I was the one that kept coming back. While it would be at most inconvenient for him if I didn't come back, it would be unthinkable for me. I had no right to expect him to respond the way I wanted just because I couldn't do anything but sit by his side for as long as I could.

The entire situation as it stood was my creation and what came next would be up to him. Of course I feared he wouldn't need me any longer but then I hoped he would. Guys like Pat only served to remind me how damn attractive Greg was and how lucky I was to have all of him I wanted, if only for a time. The next chapter hadn't been written and I could only imagine what might come.

The next day, when I arrived, Greg was his usual cheerful self. He held on when I hugged him and complained about my lack of affection the day before. I didn't mention his little display of virility and neither did he. I was surprised when Herbie showed up in civvies and without his boyfriend in tow. We hugged this time and even Greg got into the act before Herbie sat down.

"Where's what's his name?" I asked.

"Greg said I should leave him in the room if there was to be peace between you two," Herbie said as though he didn't understand the question. "I had to wear him out to leave him behind. That's why I was late getting up here. Should I go get him?"

"No," Greg said, "I wanted to see you. How's the Army? How's tricks?"

"It's okay. Basic was a bitch. Then I met Pat and it was cool. He keeps me out of trouble. You know how dense I am? Well he's just the opposite. We go pretty good together. Not that we're an item or anything. It's just for sex mostly."

Herbie seemed like he was a lot more mature than the last time I had seen him. He was no longer an exposed live wire that never stopped giving off its charge. In fact I thought he was going to doze off a few times when the conversation stopped. Greg seemed pleased and that was always a good sign. Anyway, after a while Herbie excused himself, giving Greg a warm hug after saying a final goodbye.

He hugged me and disappeared.

"So, I hope you are happier today than you were yesterday. You know you can be a bitch some times."

"Yeah, well, lot of that going around. So why did you tell him to leave Pat home."

"Martin, you're so predictable. Pat was cute and if you weren't around, I'd probably have gotten a little toot from him, but you are around and he's with Herbie, so keeping the peace with you seemed more important, not that it didn't cross my mind, the toot that is. You have to admit he was cute, not as cute as you though. You're definitely way cuter."

His voice was filled with impish delight and the broad smile never left his face as he pushed my buttons and tried to make me squirm without getting me totally pissed off. He could play me like a fine fiddle and did as often as I sat still for it.

Loving him was as good as it got, even when I was pissed off.

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