Discovering Love

Written by Rick Beck

Chapter 25

Sunday Morning Confession

Augie had stayed with us downstairs until midnight. He said it was time to go hunting and disappeared into the night. I heard the sounds of Ike leading the hunters across the mountain meadows some time later. Doug had slipped into my sleeping bag after I fell asleep. I was holding him and it was comfortable enough that the sound of the hunters couldn't rouse me totally. I nestled close to him and fell into a blissful sleep.

When I woke, Greg's father wasn't out at the stove. The cool misty morning air drifted up from the river and hung low on the patio outside the window. I pulled on my flannel shirt to take the chill off my arms and went in search of a cup of coffee and some conversation. Ike, the sleek black lab, lay unperturbed when I passed a foot from his nose as I neared the kitchen. I opened the door and stood for a second listening to the house. There wasn't a sound. I eased down the hall to Greg's room, pushing the door open so I could see him.

He was on his stomach lying diagonal across the bed. One of his arms hung off the far side and the covers were wrapped around his lower legs like he had been woven into them. He was naked from the top of his crack upward. His face was serene and lovely. I stood there thinking of what could be if he were more of what I needed and less of what I feared. I could have climbed in bed with him and he wouldn't have thrown me out. Greg didn't throw guys out of his bed, not before he used them. If I did that he won and it truly would have been over.

Even though he said it was over, I never believe him, because with him it had never started. With me it had. I could wait for another time and another opportunity. I wouldn't climb into bed and yield to his will. I would never yield to Greg's will. I didn't know much but I knew power was Greg's game and I would deny him power over me. I would find a way to turn it around until I could use it against him. I didn't know how and I certainly didn't know when, but I'd find a way.

It seemed clear that you never attacked an adversary at his strength. If someone had told me that love was mortal combat I would have laughed. That's such a contradiction from how it is in the movies. How can love be battle? We fought every day just to hold our own ground and now I found myself fighting for love. I didn't know how it was possible but that's the way it was between Greg and I. He was alone and I was alone and I wasn't sure why. There had to be a way to start over so he didn't hate me but once again I came up dry. I eased the door closed and left him alone.

My feet crunched the gravel on the red road and I imagined the snow under my feet on a winter's day. The mist wasn't as dense on the road but it still lingered and drifted out from between the trees reminding me of a John Carpenter movie. It was even cooler now than when I first got up and out. Of course my body was still warmed from the heat of Doug's body and now I was on my own.

The sun had yet to penetrate even in a tiny way, but it was obvious the new days was well under way. I figured it was at least six-thirty as by the time I was approaching the campground. I could see two tiny wisps of smoke rising up from either side of where the vehicles parked too close together. I saw one man walking toward the pier and another was passing out from in-between two of the campers.

Then I noticed Michael seated at the picnic table by the boathouse. He too was alone. He was wearing cutoffs and a flimsy baby blue jacket. His hands were jammed down into the bottom of his pockets. His long thin hairless legs were crossed at the ankles and his socks were drooping over his tattered sneakers. With one foot still on the gravel road and the other just touching the campground grass, his eyes met mine in a sudden collision that neither of us was prepared for. He took off for the confines of the family campsite, looking back once to see if I was in pursuit.

He was one more contradiction I knew and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why a boy would be playing with my dick one minute and calling me queer the next. It didn't even make a little bit of sense, but in all my relationships since meeting Greg, little of it made any sense, at least not to me it didn't. Maybe I just wasn't cut out for loving someone. Maybe that's what this was all about.

There was a light on in Van's camper as I came up from behind. With the trees looming up close behind the back door it was still nighttime. I hesitated thinking it was early but Van had always been receptive to me. This was one sure way to test his patience, I thought as I held my knock for a second. I didn't like putting people out for any reason but I needed some more of Van's wisdom and I was badly in need of human contact with someone who made just a slight bit of sense.

"What the fuck," he said, answering the door.

He had a fluffy white towel knotted tightly a few inches below his belly button. He couldn't have been far from the door because it shot open immediately after I knocked. He moved back a step and stood up to his full height. He looked even bigger standing over me in the back of his camper. I took the giant step up and slid directly into the seat at the table. He grabbed a shirt and yanked it on to over his furry chest. He didn't look at me again until he had done that.

"Coffee?" he asked much more at ease.

"Yeah! I didn't get any this morning."

He slid a cup down in front of me. The aroma swirled up through my nose with the steam. I looked at the ugly black liquid that I was still denied at home. I liked cream and sugar but I wouldn't ask for anything else.

"It's chilly," I said, warming my hands on the cup.

"Yes, chilly," he said while wondering why I was there.

"It's cloudy. Foggy out."

"Foggy? You came by to give me the local forecast? What are you doing here, Martin?"

"I don't know. I needed someone to talk to," I said. "People sure sleep late on weekends. I like first light best. It's peaceful."

"You don't listen all that well, Martin and I'm still tired. Did you notice anyone out there when you came up?"

"No, a few people starting to move around, I guess. Not really."

"I just went out to take a piss before I fixed coffee. I'm walked the few steps to the trees and I'm draining the main vain and that kid's watching me piss. Scared the b'Jesus out of me. He's just squatting there looking up at it."

"Who?" I asked.

"String Bean. Is he out there? His camper is three down. What's he doing sitting out directly behind mine? That worries me."

"Over at the boathouse. Sitting at the picnic table. He took off for home when he saw me."

"He asked me if he could come inside. I told him I was going back to bed. He just stood there staring at me like the weight of the world weighed down on him. Kid gives me the willies. The elevator isn't going all the way to the top floor or something."

"I don't know him except from the game," I said, forgetting the confrontation I thought might upset Van.

"He's the one that saw us screwing, right?"

"He's the one."

"If he had said anything his old man would have been over here by now. He's a Budweiser drunk, loudmouth. Bosses his old lady around like she's a dog."

"Timmy knows them. I don't," I reminded him.

"I think we're okay. I'm still a bit angry with you, Martin. You're smarter than that. I'd have expected you to stop them not join them. I still don't understand you."

"What do I know. I'm a dump kid. I saw something that peaked my interest and I wanted to see how it all came out," I said. "You need to be more careful because I couldn't stop watching."

"Very funny. You're sticking with the devil made you do it, huh? I'm always careful," he said. "I guess I'll check the curtains from now on."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. I watch everyone. How could I not watch you and Augie? It's not like I had a choice about it. You don't get to see a thing like that very often. You sure couldn't get that kind of thing on film."

"I guess not," he said, thinking back and brushing the thoughts away from his insight.

"Augie's hot. It would be hard to say no, you know. I mean he's beautiful, you know."

"I didn't want to say no to him. I was looking for a way to justify getting right to it with him once he came on to me."

"He kissed me last night. God, I was in heaven, Van. He's so nice," I said. "I think he's great."

"Martin!" Van said.

"I can't help it. You seen how he looks. He kissed my sorry ass. I couldn't believe it, you know. He's a fucking man. The hottest fucker I ever seen and he kissed my ass. He was in the basement with Timmy and Doug and me and he waited for them to go upstairs and he just dropped those lips right on mine. Wow! I thought I'd died right there."

"Martin!" Van said again, apparently not wanting to hear about my wanderlust.

"What's wrong with that? I wanted to do something, anything with him. God, I wanted to rip his clothes off and I'd a done anything he said. That's why I was pissed at you. It wasn't because of you, Van. I think I was jealous of you being with him. He was letting everyone feel on him but me. I didn't think he knew I was alive until last night. Then he kissed me. WOW! I'm still in heaven."


"You're supposed to say, yes he is. I can't help it. I'm more fucked up than ever. I've been with Doug. I was with Timmy and Michael outside your window last night, I want to be with Greg, and now I want to be with Augie. How fucked up is that? I wouldn't care with Augie. I'd do whatever he wanted. How come it's like that with some guys and not with others? How come I get hard every time I think of him. All he has to do is show up and I'm hard. Is that fucked up?"

"Martin, this isn't the time or the place," Van said, interrupting my fantasy for the fourth time.

"I thought you were the one person who I could tell this too. I always hide everything from everyone, Van. I'm afraid to let anyone know my feelings. I'm telling you I'm crazy about someone and all you can say is Martin! I don't care. I like him and that's all there is to it. I know you like him too, and I ain't got no way to compete with what you got, but a guy can dream, can't he? There's a shot he might like me just a little. He kissed me didn't he? God he's so cute."

"I think what he's trying to tell you is that you're giving me a fat head," Augie said, sliding through the curtain that separated the bed from the rest of the camper.

"Fuck! Shit! Damn! I got to go," I said. "What a fucking dope. I got to go. I didn't mean any of that. I was just making small talk. Why didn't you tell me he was listening?"

Augie slid into the seat beside me and put his arm over my shoulder. All I could see was his half erect red dick sitting amongst all that curly black hair.

"Martin, settle down. I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't like you. I don't kiss guys. You see me kiss anyone else? I kissed you, Martin."

"Yeah, right, Timmy and Doug are feeling all over you and you felt sorry for the poor geek. I'm so stupid sometimes," I said, analyzing it as I went along. "I want to die. You got a sharp knife. I don't want to get blood poison when I slit my wrists."

"I didn't kiss either one of them. I didn't care one way or the other about them feeling all over me. I let you know what I felt with my lips. You make that anything you want, Martin," Augie said, leaning his face into mine and kissing me tenderly.

"Okay, okay, the tables for food. Check that. The table's for nourishment. You two can use the bed now that you've managed to get me out of it. I'll never go back to sleep now."

Augie broke off the kiss and his black eyes peered through me just before he kissed me again. My hand went around his waist as I felt his heat. My palm rested in his thick wiry black pubes but I didn't try to do any more. I stared at his face as he moved back on his side of the seat, glancing at my hand's proximity to his new erection. It now leaned on the back of my hand.

"Any chance I could get a cup," he asked, glancing at me and then Van.

Van jumped up and tipped a cup over before he got one filled. He slid it across the table to Augie and sat back down, trying to hide the intense bulging under the towel, but we were both watching as the apple-sized head popped through the split in the towel. He touched it carefully tucking it back out of sight. I was speechless and my mind had shut down for any kind of intellectual pursuit. All I knew was that I wanted Augie just then and there was little else on my mind. I got my body as close to his as it would go.

"He came after they got back from hunting. I was hoping I'd get away without you finding out that he was here, in my bed. Too many people are getting to know too much about me," Van said. "I don't tell anyone about my feelings either, Martin. I'll go back to my girlfriend and my job and no one will suspect there's a whole 'nother side a me."

"You worry too much," Augie said. "We all keep stuff to ourselves. I don't tell anyone what I like, what I want. Why? It's just stuff they can use against ya if they find it out."

"I'd never say anything to anyone," I said. "I only said it to Van because I couldn't believe it happened. I wanted him to tell me what it meant," I said.

"Hell, I can explain it," Augie said, kissing me again, holding my hand on him as he backed off and stared into my face.

"I know, Martin. I'm still nervous about people finding out about me. That kid Michael wants something and I don't want to know what," Van said.

"He was staring at what he wanted," Augie said. "He's queer as a three dollar bill. As quick as I called him he ran off like a little girl."

"Yeah but you came in here and I don't know if he knew you were here," Van said.

"You could have told me to go to my tent," Augie said, staring in his cup. "I didn't come to cause you no trouble."

"No I couldn't tell you that either. That's easy for you to say August. I couldn't say no to you. That's why I didn't say no yesterday. When I saw you coming up with Greg, you were the hottest thing I've seen in awhile."

"Well you did say no but it wasn't the answer I was looking for. I'd already made up my mind about you, Van. You didn't have a choice. That's what you get for being a kid's hero."

"Augie, I thought you wanted a girl," I said, feeling the black hair on his thigh, letting his cock stand up toward his stomach.

"Yeah, well, there's one thing a girl can't do for me. ...And if you say I said that I'll kick your skinny little ass. I guess I've figured that one out this weekend. I'm in no hurry to settle down. I'll just do what suits me until I do."

"With a girl?" I asked.

"With whoever the hell I say. I get to do exactly what I want for the first time in my life. I got time to figure it all out. B was like fucking a pound a ground round. I'd had better in jail."

"You didn't like her?" I asked.

"She's been with her brothers little friends for too long. She just lies there waiting for you to get her going. I like a girl who wants to make love to me. She don't know how."

"How was hunting?" I asked.

"It was okay. Greg's old man knows his shit. I didn't get anything. He bagged three rabbits. Greg got himself one."

"What time did you get back?" I asked.

"He rolled in here about two hours ago," Van said. I didn't go to bed until late. No rest for the weary."

"You can go back to bed, old man," Augie said. "Rest up so you can keep it up."

"I'll never have a problem with that as long as you're around," he said.

Augie smiled and shook his head, looking into his lap at his erection and my hand. He looked at me and smiled warmly, putting his arm around me again and hugging me toward him. I rested my face on his chest and looked at the crimson beauty oh so close to my watering lips.

I wanted to slide down on him but I was afraid to do it in front of Van. I was afraid to do it in front of Augie but I knew he wanted it. My hand did what my lips refused to do, squeezing it as he squeezed me to his body while taking a deep breath. As much as I liked watching others I didn't want them watching my meager efforts at trying to satisfy someone's needs. So far I hadn't been too successful at that.

"You two cut it out. I'm getting jealous now," Van said.

"I'm sorry," I said, sitting up and away from Augie as he looked at me funny.

"You see, Martin. You are way too serious. Lighten up for god sake. We're just friends enjoying each other's company," Van offered.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not as difficult as you make it out to be. Go with the fucking flow will ya. We like you."

"I don't know how," I said. "I've never felt this way about someone who would actually let me get close to them. I don't want to miss anything."

"You need to back off some," Van said. "You're so close you can't see anything. Greg for one. He cleaned your clock yesterday and you go over and thank him. You should have gone over and punched him in the face. That he'd have understood. You don't let a guy get away with that. You do and he doesn't respect you."

"I wanted to make sure he knew where I stood," I said. "That's all."

"You don't think he knows yet? He knows plenty, Martin. He's playing you."

"Yeah, that's all he could talk about after we caught you on the path with his brother," Augie said. "Damn, he was pissed at you."

"You see, he likes you. He wouldn't get mad if he didn't like you. He has everything planned out in his head and you are upsetting the plan," Van said. "That's the only thing that pisses off a guy like that."

"What do I do? My brain fogs over every time I get near him and I just want to get on my hands and knees in front of him."

"Back off him. Just let it go for now. If you're meant to get back together you'll find a way. You'll probably find someone a lot more exciting than Greg in the meantime."

"Maybe," I said.

Augie was looking at me was I felt his chest and stomach.

"He's immature. He doesn't like a level playing field. That's why he keeps all you young guys around him," Augie said.

"What do I do about Doug? He's his brother? He wants to fool around and he doesn't. I know I can get with him but it doesn't make him happy."

"Doug's already told you what to do about him. You told me yesterday. Why go up that road if it's just going to cause more trouble for both of you?" Van asked.

"I guess but what if I don't meet anyone else. I've never met anyone before this? It scares me I might end up alone."

"You like Augie too," Van said. "Augie likes you. Martin, you'll find plenty of guys to like you."

"Yeah! Maybe."

"You're too new to get so serious. You couldn't possibly know what you want. There's simply too much candy after not having any."

"How'd you handle it?" I asked.

"Me? There was nothing to handle. I didn't know guys could do anything until I was fourteen. Guys had always wanted a peek at my dick. I thought it was just because I was bigger than they were. One day this guy says he'll give me a pack of cigarettes if I'd get it up. I didn't even smoke. Just the thought of getting hard in front of him made me hard. I popped it out of my pants and he's already pumping on it. He had trouble getting his mouth around it and so he dropped his pants and bent over. I figured out what to do on my own. We went together for two years. Stayed over each other's house all the time. He was on the football team. I'd always save my best passes for him.

"He met a girl our junior year and that was that. We just stayed away from each other after that. I got a girl to prove I could and we just ignored each other when we were forced to be together."

"That's a bummer," I said. "What happened to the girl?"

"I don't know. We graduated. She went to school and I went to school."

"You ever see him again?" I asked.

"Twice. Once we met at a football game. I was warming the bench at Oklahoma my first year and he's at the Coke concession near the player's entrance at the rear of the stadium. We saw each other. That was weird."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Same as the first time we were together back in high school. We went to the nearest men's room and he dropped his jeans for me. I fucked him so hard I was sure he'd never speak to me again. It was full sized by then. In high school it was mostly long and not all that thick. He didn't seem to mind."

"You said twice," I said.

"Yeah, the week before the Texas game. I was quarterback and I was being interviewed every time I turned around. He was at the Thursday night interview. He stood off to one side with his arms folded in front of him, staring at me while reporters grilled me about the game Saturday."

"What happened?" I asked.

"He had a SUV with the dark windows. We slipped out a side door and got naked in his vehicle. It had a baby seat in it. I never asked about the ring on his finger or why he was there. I wasn't as angry that time but we didn't talk. Hi, how are you, fine, how are you, and we both knew what to do. I did anyway and he was leading me to his car, so he knew even if we didn't say the words."

"I don't understand? You're saying he was married. That's fucked," I said.

"I didn't say he was married. Could have been his parents car," Van said.

"Yeah, right, they're having a second family. He had on a wedding ring?"


"Why would he let a guy do that to him?" I asked more confused than ever.

"Because he liked it!" Augie said. "It's the one thing a girl can't do for you."

"But he was married?" I objected. "What about his wife. That's wrong."


"They're married. What would happen if she found out? What about your girlfriend?"

"Life isn't what we'd like it to be. My girlfriend doesn't know about my affinity for the boys," Van said.

"Is it fair to her?" I asked. "Shouldn't you be true to her?"

"Where'd you hear that?"

"It's the law isn't it?" I said. "For better for worse? That kind of thing?"

"That's marriage," Van said. "I'm just seeing a girl I like. Dating her. I reserve the right to see guys if I want even if she doesn't know I'm seeing them."

"He was married," I said.

"Martin, I didn't create the world the way it is. There are certain truths and if you don't abide by them you're going to get smashed. Guys don't talk about it when they like being with other guys, especially they don't talk to their girlfriends about that little quirk."

"How can you like girls and want to be with guys? That's what's fucked up."

"You think that's what I was thinking about? Him being married. I was thinking about the fact I still loved him. That hadn't changed. He made the choice and I didn't object because I wanted it as much as he did. He picked the life he lived. I didn't. He's the fraud, not me. He's pretending something is true when it isn't. I don't pretend. I live the life that suits me."

"But why? If I could be with girls, don't you think I would? You think I'd want to live like this? No way. I'd never look at another guy if I liked girls the way I like guys. I don't want to be different."

"There's your answer. I like girls but not the way I like guys. I can be satisfied with a girl but only if I can be with guys when I want. We're built different, that's all," Van explained.

"Some of us don't get to choose. Girl's can't do what we like best," Augie said.

"Yep," Van agreed.

"We like being with girls but we need to be with guys."

"I've never heard of it before."

"There are a lot of things you don't hear about. How do you think the status quo stays the status quo? People can't express themselves if they are too scared," Van said.

"It doesn't seem honest," I said.

"Speaking of honest, why didn't you tell me String Bean called Michael queer last night, Martin?" Van asked without warning. "I told you he was out here watching me pee this morning. Why didn't you tell me what he said?"

"I didn't want to upset you. I knew you were worried about what he saw. He obviously didn't tell anyone, and I can only think there is one reason he stares at your dick and asks to come inside. He did see what happened last night."

"Okay, I'll accept that as a judgment call," Van said.

"That little shit was out there this morning?" Augie asked.

"Yeah, he was watching me take a piss. He wanted to come in the camper."

"Must like what he saw. You'd break that little boy, Van," Augie said. "I'd fuck him just to show him what he is. Little faggot leads around those little boys like we don't know what he's up to."

"They're his brothers," I said.

"It doesn't surprise me," Augie said. "There's something sick abut a guy that plays with a guys dick and then calls another guy queer."

"I don't follow," I said.

"Follow Timmy. Look at him and how he acts."

"He wants everyone," I said. "That's no act."

"He feels alone when he isn't intimate with someone. He doesn't know why. He knows he isn't supposed to be doing what he's doing, but only by doing it does he feel like he isn't alone. It's a vicious circle. He's caught up and can't get out."

"So you're saying he shouldn't be having sex?"

"Not for the reason he's having sex. He feels bad about himself and so he has sex. That makes him feel good for the moment but leaves him feeling worse about himself, so he has more sex so he'll feel good but it makes him feel bad."

"I'm starting to get it. The more sex he has the worse he feels the more sex he has," I said.

"You got it."

"I like sex," I said.

"That's fine if you're having sex for the right reason."

"I'm not sure I am," I said.

"I like sex," Augie said.

"You're different," Van said.

"I'm not that different," Augie said.

"Different enough for me to like you," Van said. "I don't like that many guys your age."

"You went with Timmy," I said.

"Yeah, well, he's a neat kid. He immediately turned my liking into a sexual situation. I didn't know then what I know now."

"But you had sex with him. You're grown. I don't get that part of it either. I don't like grown up guys but I like you. I wouldn't have sex with grown up guys but I'd have sex with you. You see what I mean about being fucked up. That's fucked up," I despaired.

"That's quite a compliment you've paid me. I'm just a guy Martin. A little order but I'm just a guy. I try not to get involved with younger guys even when they are interested in me. It's easier when you don't become involved, but I don't have any moral boundary saying it's bad. It's a legal issue and not a moral one for me."

"If we like you and we decide it's cool being with you, why the fuck not? How do we learn if not from someone like you?"

"I'm grown but I don't always use good judgment. Timmy decided he wanted a shot at what I had. He caught me at a time when I thought I was just being a nice guy, but I enjoyed the attention. It never occurred to me that was what he was after when he came over and started talking to me."

"Like me?" Augie said. "I started things rolling."

"No, I had ideas about you once you started jumping in my arms after a touchdown. You did notice how much more accurate my passes became."

"You made a pass. I didn't notice. I had to get you going as I recall," Augie said.

"Football passes. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"So Augie's okay but Timmy isn't?" I asked.

"I didn't say that. I don't regret being with Timmy. I like him. It wasn't very bright being with him but he didn't seem dangerous."

"He seems dangerous now?" I asked.

"I didn't know he had a problem last summer. He seemed like a friendly kid who needed a friend. I didn't get the sex thing started," Van said. "I haven't let him start it up again."

"We all played with it last night," I said, making him squirm on my words.

"That was different. It wasn't my idea," Van said. "I'm human, you know. I know why I come here but I don't think about it. When it happens, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it happening. My genitalia works like yours. Someone touches it and it responds. Once it starts responding I'm beyond worry."

"But you can go to jail for letting us," I said. "Why would you risk it?"

"I don't have an answer."

"So if it's safe, that's when you'll do it with under age guys?" I asked.

"Not usually. I rarely am around guys like you except down here. I have a normal life, a girlfriend, a job. It doesn't come up very often."

"But if it did during the week would you say no or do what you do with us?"

"Damn, you writing a book? I don't know. I want to believe I always make the right decisions, but no I don't know that. Saying no isn't in my nature. I like sex too. I especially like having sex with guys that like it. Most guys my age, unless they're gay, can't admit they like it. It just happens and they forget about it until it happens again."

"Question and answer is over, you two. I've got to leave out of her at noon. I've had half the sleep I need and I've got to go out tonight."

"I haven't had any. Just what I got after you got up," Augie said. "You just won't leave me alone."

"Me?" Van protested. "You want to stay?"

"Just until noon. Then I'll go back up to that rack of mine."

"I've got to go?" I asked. "I can't keep watch for you."

"You've got to go. I'll be back," Van said.

"I don't know if I will," I said. "Greg isn't real pleased with my performance this weekend."

"Fuck Greg," Augie said. "You better come back. I'll be here all summer."

"I can't force him. It's his family," I said.

"Where there's a will there is a way," Van said. "Call me. I'll come and get you."

Van found his wallet and gave me a card.

"I appreciate your talking to me," I said. "I mean helping me try to figure out stuff. It helps, you know."

"Martin, I've enjoyed our talks. You make me think about things I don't spend much time thinking about."

"Well, I got something you can appreciate," Augie said, standing up as I leaned on the door.

He had to tilt his head down to kiss me. My arms ended up around him and his body felt incredible. I knew it was a goodbye kiss, but I wanted to believe there was more to it than that. I felt his erection and his ass and the kiss continued after Van slid into his bed.

"If you don't come back down I'll come find you," he whispered in my ear as we hugged. "You're a cool kid, Martin. I saved the kisses for you."

"I don't feel like a kid," I said, feeling his erection as we both watched my hand on him.

"You know what I mean, Martin. Quit being difficult," Augie said, opening the door for me.

I watched him until he closed the door behind me. I didn't want to leave them but they had their own fish to fry and I didn't want to get in the way. I felt pretty good walking back to the house, especially when I saw the smoke drifting up over the trees just before I turned down beside the house. Greg's father turned and smiled just as I was about to leap down onto the patio.

The rest of the morning went by without incident. Greg's mother left just after noon as we packed the blue Ford full of laundry and the perishables. Greg played with Ike on the lower field. Timmy disappeared for awhile until we were almost ready to leave. The three of us crawled up in the back of the truck as Greg and his father took the front seats. My mind was on a million things I'd learned that weekend. I watched the rustic features of the mountain as we headed back to civilization.

Doug's leg pressed into mine and brought me out of my trance. His head was tilted back as he leaned on some pillows. His socked feet hung out from the quilt he used to cover himself. The sun had never come out and it was still cool. Timmy had disappeared completely and it was when I noticed the whites of Doug's pale blue eyes that I realized Timmy was at it again. I didn't know for how long.

Doug's toes were curling and the small groans were obvious when I listened. I lifted the corner of the comforter and Timmy's mouth was two thirds of the way down on Doug's ample shaft. He was naked below the waist except for the socks. My own cock hardened instantly. I felt Doug's thigh and he looked at me like it was already too late for him. I went back to Timmy as he got down to business in a big way. Doug's thighs tightened and his hips were activated as he moaned and breathed deep. Timmy didn't seek to prolong the act and progressed to maximum overdrive as he made a valiant effort to swallow Doug whole.

Doug's hands stayed on the outside of the quilt and held the lump that was on his crotch. He looked at me helplessly as he gasped short quick gasps before closing his eyes and sighing one long grand slow sigh. The activity slowed to a stop and the lump stayed still at last. I watched Doug as he fell asleep on his pillows and no one would have guessed he'd just blown a load down Timmy's throat.

I didn't have to guess.

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