What The Hell?

by Andrew Foote

Chapter 4

Sunday November 15 th 2009 08.00hrs.

Good morning world!

Hey I feel well good today!

The sun is up and the sky is blue, - it's fucking cold but who cares? I bloody don't!

I just can't wait to get over to Simon's place!

At night I'm really bothered about my feelings but as soon as I'm awake, - and eight on a Sunday is sooo bloody early for me, - I feel so different!

I really hope he likes me, - okay I know he likes me but you know what the hell I mean!

I'm on the internet now and I did a little looking around and found some stuff…….. American I recon and they call people like me fag-boys.


When I look they sound like real girly-type boys……..you know the sort of thing?……..Dress in frocks and shit like that and wear girls knickers……..wow!

Not the pissing frocks but a pair of Samantha's thongs could be quite cool!!

I wonder what they feel like to wear?

Anyhow it looks like Simon is still akip `cos he's not on line.

I'm going to get a bite to eat, get my gear together, take a shower and……..no. I won't do that…….. Later perhaps!



What a perfectly fucking cool day!!

We swam, - well that was the reason for going there, wasn't it?

I'm getting really good. -- No, - much better and I don't wet myself when I get into deep water `cos I know that I can get back……..maybe……..with Simon's help.

Simon stills holds me to get me going, - ok in more ways than one, - but I recon he knows that I can do it for myself already.

I told him that it was unfair that he got to hold me up and I never got to do it for him so he let me!!!

Oh fuck!

He lay on his back and I put my hand under his back and the other under his legs and oh man, - oh man, - he is just like touching silk! So soft!

I ran my hand up and down his back just like……..to see what he really felt like and he sprung a stork!!

Even his Speedo's couldn't hide that one, - well impressive!! Then his breathing got all funny and he rolled over and just looked at me like I'd done something wrong.

I thought I was going to cry again! Fuck I'm so girly!! Thongs and crying!! Oh SHIT!!.......But he blew me away! He just held out his hand and pulled me towards him! Fuck……..I could feel his dick on my leg and I nearly fainted!

He just looked at my mouth, all funny like and then pecked me on my lips!!!!

Then he swam away from me, not nasty like cos then we started horsing about, splashing each other and just having a well special time!

When we got changed and dressed? Yeah, we checked each other out and grinned at each other and stuff but nothing more.

I recon we both like…….. want to but we're too shy to say anything.

Anyhow, - we're getting on the net tonight later to IM each other. Oh so very fucking special!

Thanks God!


Hey! Simon came on at nine! I saved all the chit-chat to CD and I've just pasted it into my diary here so I can read and re-read it!

Sounds stupid I know but it's my pissing diary so fuck you!

"Hey Jack! How's it hanging?"

"Simon!! I'm just fine ta, and you?"

"You sound excited about summat. Are you?"

"Maybe? Anyhow thanks for a well cool day and thanks for getting me floating! Well special of you. I owe you massive!"

"No you bloody don't! Hey I enjoyed it. I really like being around you, twatt-face!"

"Oh! Sweet!! Thanks and I like being around you too, if you understand."

"I hope I understand."

Hey promise you won't hit me or nothing if I tell you summat?"

"That's a risk you'll have to take pall, only joking! I couldn't be bad to you so go on, fire away!"

"I……..I really like you and…….. I kinda miss you when you're not around……… Don't get mad cos I mean it!"

"Oh wow. How could I possibly get mad with you, you dick-head? Shit, you should read my diary!"

"You keep a diary?"

"Yeah and? Got a problem with that?"

"No! Guess what. I keep one as well!"


"Yeah. Maybe we should swap notes?!"

"Oh yeah? Like no fucking chance! Way too embarrassing!!"

"I guess........So is mine!!"

"Bet it's not as seriously embarrassing as mine!!"

"Probably worse……..kinda complicated! I'd show you, like no strings if we hung out some more together, you know, got to know each other more."

"Cool! I'd like that! Tell you what. I'll show you mine when you show me yours!"

"Done that already!! I know what you mean, okay it's cool!

Shit I'd better go now. See ya tomorrow Jack.

Oh and hey……..X"

Hey diary! He signed off with a fucking KISS!! Oh man!

Why do I hope he wasn't taking the piss?

I dunno who he thinks he's kidding here, - like ahem, if we hung out some more together and double ahem, got to know each other more?

Simon, oh Simon, just tell me the place and time……..

Just thought of summat really bad.

Hope my old chap never reads this! He'd bloody slay me! He'd call me a poof or summat even worse........but the problem is this, I think he might be somewhere close to the mark.

Oh bloody hell!

Okay. I know that things seem bad at night time and loads better in the morning and stuff, so I'm going to bed cos I can't wait to feel positive and also……..this is just sooo scary! I'm really looking forward to school tomorrow!!

Nite computer!

Monday November 16 th 2009 19.05hrs.

Not a bad day considering.

We never had Geog which was a real bummer `cos the only time I had with Simon was at lunch but I'll go with the coolest bit later!

Oh yeah! It's started already!

I wondered how long it'd take before some arsehole noticed and started to take the piss out of me?

Brian Jenkins, you know, the big, powerful, smelly tub of lard had such a fucking go at morning break.

It was like, "Hey guys! Jackie's into little boys already! Almost joined at the fucking hip with that little Simon! Hey Jackie baby! Wanna give me a kiss, you fucking queer?"

I used to be intolerant…….. I mean really fucking intolerant but this time I tried to talk to him!!

So bloody funny!!

I said something like, "the only fucking kiss you'll get off of me is a fucking Glasgow Kiss unless you back off and say sorry."

He never, stupid prick!

Hey! I used to be scared of him! He's like twelve foot taller than me and weighs in at like 100 tons!

No, he carried on with all his pathetic little mates egging him on so……..I fucking nutted him straight on the bridge of his nose.


I broke it and he had to go to hospital and stuff but as luck would have it, like a fucking prefect heard and saw the whole fucking shebang and I was let off with a caution and a hundred lines.

Now all I have to do is figure out how I write out 100 times, "reasons why I should not head-butt my fellow pupils".

Don't mind the toil of writing it out 100 times, the problem is finding a reason why I shouldn't do it when someone offends me and Simon. No that's wrong. Why I shouldn't for Simon.

I'd pissing well do it again may God help me!

Me and Simon got together at lunchtime.

I never realised I'd split the skin on my forehead when I decked Jenkins, nobody else had said a thing like maybe they wanted me to wear my medal with pride but Simon noticed and of course the word had spread around that I'd taken out the school bully and he was devastated!

Stupid wonderful little shit!!

He said like, "Why didn't you just walk away" and "you've really hurt yourself!"

He was just so bloody caring!

All the time sitting with me and dabbing the blood away!

Oh shit here I go again!!!

Gotta stop fucking crying!!

I never saw Simon after school but then again, I never do cos his Mum picks him up and I've got my bike and stuff.

Fair few other guys with me on the trek back home and I soon figured out why.

I was the boy of the moment cos everyone hated Jenkins and his little band of thugs. I'd sorta put him in his place.

We had a fab cool ride back to the top of the track where most of the lads split off and went home and that left me with two little kids……..I dunno, ten, maybe eleven-year olds walking with me.

Hey! I know both these little runts! They live sorta nearby, seen them around and stuff but never ever……..my street-cred people……..talked to them but they kinda asked me why I'd done Jenkins.

I told them I really liked Simon and stuff and I figured like it was my duty.

There's always one little shit, isn't there!

Sam! Bastard!

Yeah, could only be him!

Cotton blue eyes and blond hair that just, you know, fell.

He looked straight into my eyes.

Little bastard!

I blurted it all out.

Ten years old and with his little mate! And then I saw something.


They were holding hands!!!

Oh for fuck's sake!

I bloody told them!

"Tell you this chaps? You say a fucking word and you're dead okay?"

Hey computer, I didn't wait for an answer, I just told them!

Oh fucking hell!! I'm so sorry Simon but those kids were the only people I could tell for heaven's sake and I told them I loved you and I would happily kill for you!

Hey! It's true you beautiful arsehole!

I don't know what to do but I only know I want to touch you, to feel you, to cuddle you, to……..


Gotta stop!

Those kids kissed each other, just like you kissed me!

Just a peck, you know?

Oh so sexy!!!



I'm in desperate need of a wank……..

I'm coming to terms.

Nite computer.

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