Mason in the Center, Part 1
by Joe L
"What are you talking about?" I try to look confused. I'm not giving up yet.
"Too late, Mace. Tyler already outed you," Carson folds his arms triumphantly. I look over at Tyler and he shrugs his shoulders apologetically. I look back at Carson, frozen with fear. "Nah… I already knew. I knew from the spin-the-bottle game that I had awoken something in you guys. Now, I'm gonna cash in."
Tyler and I look at each other with worry, dreading what's coming. I can't believe our secret is out. We've only been together for two days, and already someone knows… and we weren't even caught in the act.
"Anyway, that bitch I took to the fight tonight wouldn't put out, and now I've got blue balls. I know from experience that guys give better blowjobs than girls, so you two are gonna suck my dick!"
"We are not," I say, flatly.
"SUCK IT…," Carson settles back in his spin-the-bottle-master chair like an evil king on his throne, "or I'll tell mom what you guys have been doing," he smiles at us, awaiting our next move.
I grab Tyler by the shirt and pull him over to the corner of the basement so our whispers cannot be heard.
"He will not tell mom," I say with complete confidence. I wish I was as confident as my voice after what he did to Tyler with the fight tickets. Could Carson really be that evil?
"Are you sure?" he asks, wanting me to make the decision.
"If he does, I'll fucking kill him." I peer over at Carson, still smiling smugly in his throne.
"If he does… we're the ones that are fucking dead." Tyler whispers and I turn my gaze back at him.
"Do you… want to?" I ask, gulping.
"I guess we don't have to pretend we don't want to," Tyler snickers.
"Yeah… plus, if we do it… we'll have something on Carson. It's not like it's something he would want people to know."
"Yeah." Tyler's smile has completely enveloped his face.
"What have you two ladies decided?" Carson asks, rubbing his dick through his jeans.
"Whip it out," I say as we scamper back over to him. We both kneel before one of his legs and await the big reveal. He slowly unzips his jeans and carefully pulls back the waistband of his underwear. His hard dick pops out. It looks a lot like Tyler's… except maybe a year more mature and manly.
"Fuck," Tyler and I say in unison.
"I got dibs on the cum!" Tyler declares, wrapping his fingers around Carson's shaft.
"What?!? No WAY!" I protest, my heart racing and my dick hardening.
"Now Mace," Carson says in his authoritative voice. "Tyler has called dibs on my hot, creamy load." He vigorously rubs the top of my head, patronizing me with joy.
"Fuck!" I look over at Tyler, and for a moment, he looks like the old Tyler, with his self-satisfied smirk that he always sports when he gets his way.
"Guys always like to swallow," Carson chuckles and slinks down further in his seat.
"Don't worry," Tyler whispers. "After he cums, kiss me, and I'll save you a little."
"Kay," I quickly snatch Carson's dick out of Tyler's hands and take it in my mouth. I hear Carson let out a long sigh as I begin my sucking motion. It's all right, but it's nothing like sucking Tyler's. Tyler's dick emanates heat and horniness and is always rock hard. It feels like it's always about to explode at any second, and it always does. Carson's is a little softer, not remotely horny and room temperature at best. This is going to take some work. I open my eyes and peek at Tyler.
"C'mon!" He licks his lips, watching my every move with an eager smile. I release Carson's dick from my mouth and point it at Tyler, who quickly engulfs it. The sight of Tyler's face so close up with a long cock in his mouth is possibly the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
"Yeah, that's it," I whisper. When we used to have internet and I could steal a few seconds by myself to watch porn, my favorite jerking material was watching a guy really enjoy sucking cock. It's rare to find a scene where the sucker is getting just as much, if not more, pleasure than guy he's sucking. The scene before me is much hotter than any porn could ever be.
I glance up at Carson. He looks uncomfortable, almost in pain, as he squirms back and forth in his seat. I'd better assist. I slide my fingers around Carson's shaft, and Tyler releases it from his mouth. I hungrily gobble it up, but it's even softer than the last time. I begin to forcefully suck while I pump the shaft with my hand, but it doesn't seem to be getting any harder.
"Fuck…. You guys are boner killers!" Carson whines.
"Nuh-uh," Tyler taunts, as he squeezes his hard-on through his shorts.
"That's it. I'm outta here!" Carson starts to get up, but we both push him down.
"Can't you… uh… look at some porn on your phone? That might help," I suggest, and Carson follows my advice. He takes out his phone and pushes in his earbuds while Tyler continues to go to town on him. After a minute, Tyler lets me have another turn. It seems to be working. Carson's shaft is much harder now, and his head is swelling nicely. I really concentrate on the tip and work my tongue around the area that always makes Tyler cum.
"Fuck yeahhh…," Carson moans, and I quickly release his dick for Tyler to finish up on. I look up at Carson, who is transfixed on his porn, completely unaware that Tyler and I are still in the room. Suddenly, he arches his back with a wilder moan, and I know it's happening. I rub my hand up and down Tyler's back as he sucks down the load. I can see the corner of his mouth turn up with the grin of a fellow cum lover as he swallows it down. He continues to suck, and as the pleasure turns to extreme sensitivity, Carson finally pushes him off and barrels past us.
"Fuck you guys!" Carson says as if we had done something to annoy him, and suddenly, we're alone in the basement. Tyler laughs as he licks his lips, and I jump him, shoving my tongue in his mouth. We grunt and moan inside a deep kiss, bring our dicks to the brink. I feel Tyler press his dick into me as hard as he can, and I know he's just seconds away. I break our lip lock and rush down to whip out his dick, hoping I'm not too late. I get it in my mouth around his tip just in time, as jets of hot cum pulse over my tongue. I swallow it down quickly and suck him dry, trying to get as much pumped out as I can. It was a huge load, but somehow I want more. He collapses on his back as I release him, and we both laugh as we try to catch our breaths.
"Dude," Tyler pants, wiping some escaped cum from around his mouth and then licking his fingers. "Being gay is so fucking awesome!"
"Yeah," I sigh. "Ya know why?"
"Cuz of the cummy kisses!" I crawl up Tyler's laughing, wobbly body, and plant my lips on his. We overzealously tongue-kiss, sharing the final hints of cum from each other's conquests.
"You want me to suck you?" Tyler asks, momentarily pulling away.
"Nah, I creamed my shorts."
Tyler reaches down and scrapes up what he can find, but most of it has soaked in. I'm going to have to wash these out before they go in the hamper.
"Your cum tastes so much better than Carson's," Tyler smiles with that twinkle in his eye.
"Ya know why?" I ask.
"Cuz his was from some gross bitch's pussy and tits. MINE comes from one-hundred-percent genuine Tyler love!" He grabs me by the sides of the head and we engage in another goofy kiss, full of laughter. I hug him tightly, enjoying every second of this unexpected time together. Suddenly, he pushes me back and his laughter stops.
"Holy shit!" he says with a very serious expression.
"I just thought of something. I have to write you a love letter… just like the one you wrote me!"
"Nah, you don't have to. I just wrote that so you wouldn't get sad at school." I rub my fingers up his leg.
"No, you don't understand. I HAVE to write you a love letter."
"Okay," I giggle, my heart beat quickening at the idea of reading it. "I would love that."
"Cool!" Tyler jumps up and runs for the door. He stops in his tracks, runs back to me and plants one more kiss on my lips. "Love you!"
I look around the basement, making sure there is no evidence of what just went on here. Everything looks as messy as usual, so I decide to head upstairs. I'd better check on Carson and see where we stand with him.
I head up to the couch, where Carson always sleeps when he's home. He lost his bed when he went to boarding school, and everyone moved up one spot. I turn the corner to the living room, but there's no sign of Carson and there's no sign of his duffel bag, which always sits on the floor next to the couch. He must have bolted.
I run outside and down the driveway. I see Carson walking down the street. He's probably heading for his buddy Ben's house. He's got his earbuds in, so he doesn't hear me running to catch up to him.
"Hey," I say, grabbing his shoulder when I finally catch up.
"Jesus!" he jumps a little. "Mace, don't you think we should… you know… not talk… and not make eye contact for… I dunno… two years?"
"No way! You're in this now… in deep! I sucked your dick! Tyler ate your cum! And next time, I'm gonna eat it!" I say, finally turning the tables on Carson for the first time.
"SHHHH…. Shut the FUCK UP! There's NOT gonna be a next time!" Carson says in a loud whisper and pushes me in the chest.
"It was supposed to be great for me, and miserable for you guys… not the other way around!"
I start to laugh, and eventually, I get Carson to crack a smile.
"Can we talk for a while?" I ask.
"What is it?" Carson rolls his eyes as we both sit down on the curb.
"What do you think?"
"About… ya know… the me-and-Tyler thing."
"Hey, I don't judge, man."
"It's okay. Just tell me what you think."
"I'm a firm believer that teenage guys should be cumming as much as possible because life fucking sucks… especially in our family! There's nothing else to do except fuck and cum…. Oh WAIT! You're worried about the whole brother thing, aren't you?"
"Well, yeah. You don't think it's fucked up?"
"Let me make it simple for you. Do you like sucking Tyler's dick?"
"C'mon man," I roll my eyes and hope he doesn't see my red cheeks.
"Seriously. Do you like to suck your brother's dick?"
"Yes," I groan.
"And does he like it when you suck his dick?"
"Then fucking suck your brother's fucking cock! And don't fucking get caught! And don't fucking ever talk to me about it ever again!" He starts to stand up, and I grab onto his arm.
"WHAT?" he snaps, as if he actually has somewhere to go.
"We're like… in love," I mutter sheepishly.
"You're not in love. Trust me," he smiles condescendingly.
"We are! I've never felt anything as strong as this… and I'm sure Tyler feels the same."
"You guys—" Carson erupts in laughter. He doubles over and crumples down onto the pavement on his side. "Imagine… Tyler saying… and kissing you… and sa-saying… 'I love you'. That's the fucking funniest thing EVER!" He continues cackling and snorting as I impatiently wait for him to get control of himself.
"We are…," I whine, hoping it won't send him into another round of hysterics. "He's writing me a love letter right now." I shouldn't have said that.
"Holy shit!" Carson erupts again. "You've gotta let me read it! HOLY FUCK!" he continues to snort and wheeze, and I sit silently and wait for him to compose himself again.
"You done?" I ask impatiently.
"Look," he says, finally. "How old are you guys? Thirteen?"
"We're fourteen and fifteen! Next month, we'll be fifteen and sixteen!" I pragmatically correct him.
"Okay, okay. When you're that age, whenever someone makes you cum, you have this irresistible urge to say `I love you'. It's just natural because you don't really understand the difference between love and sex."
"How do we know if… I mean when we're in love?"
"Love? Love is full of shit and pain and awfulness and hurt feelings and fights and yelling and crying and jealousy and—"
"Jealousy? I'm supposed to be jealous of Tyler?"
"No. Let me put it this way. Say you're with mom in the car, and you guys are picking up Tyler from…. Does he still do sports?"
"You're picking up Tyler from track. You pull up to the school, and Tyler is waiting out front with some other cute guy in a track uniform… some guy you don't know. He's just waiting with Tyler, and they're just talking… talking and smiling. Then, this guy says something and Tyler really laughs… laughs out loud. How would that make you feel?"
"This `cute guy'… I think I'd like to fucking murder him. I think I'd have to kill him with my bare hands. Nothing else would be good enough."
"Okay, so you've got the jealousy thing down. So where was I? Jealousy and possessiveness and unreasonable expectations and bitter disappointments and having to pretend you're into shit he's into when he makes no effort to pretend he's into the shit you're into… and I could go on. But even on top of all of that, when you're in the same room with that person, the world seems perfect. You starting to get it?"
"Yeah. I think all of that stuff is just what you went through with Rebecca. I think it's possible to be in love and dodge the negative stuff."
"Maybe you and Tyler will be the first in history," Carson smirks as he stands up, trying to leave again. "But seriously, you need to watch that love stuff with Tyler. Even with my efforts to toughen him up, he's still pretty mentally fragile. If you do anything to hurt him, I'll fucking kill you."
"Yeah right. Since when do you give a shit about Tyler?"
"I'm serious, Mace."
"I know," I sigh. "Don't worry. If I hurt him, I think I'd kill myself before you got your hands on me."
"Hey, you mentioned earlier that guys give better blowjobs from experience. Tell me about the other guys that have sucked your dick," I smile.
"Sorry, little man. That's X-rated stuff. You're only thirteen." He smiles, smugly.
"I'm almost fifteen! And I bet I suck dick better than any of the guys that have sucked yours."
"You're fourteen, and I've had better."
"Let's just say there's a line of guys at school outside my room who are ready… any time."
"Hey, my dick is sought after at school! Ask anyone."
"It's not so great. It's not as nice as Tyler's."
"It's nice enough to get those fight tickets… and this cell phone."
"What are you talking about?"
"Guys give me stuff… for the pleasure of sucking my dick."
"Are you FUCKING SERIOUS?"
"Sure. I'm fucking awesome. Is it that shocking?"
"I just can't believe the way you treat other people!"
"What are you talking about? They want to."
"You just use people. You take and take and never give anything back."
"I give 'em my awesome dick… and my sweet cum."
"Man, I don't really believe in karma, but if it was real, you would have a giant two-ton weight dangling over your head at all times." He looks stricken for the first time in his life. I finally got to him! "Just start giving a little back to the people who care about you. It will make a big difference."
"Whatever," he sighs, still with a worried look.
"Thanks for talking to me," I say, still sitting on the curb. I've got a lot to think about.
"No problem, my brotha." He meanders down the street in the dark, and I sigh deeply. I think I love Tyler. I think he loves me. I want to love Tyler… real love… I think. I want to be in love, but I don't want to fuck up my life, and I don't want to fuck up his. Maybe it's already too late. Maybe it's not. Fuck, this is complicated.
I head back to the house and sneak in our bedroom window. Tyler is hunched over the computer screen, diligently at work on my love letter.
"You almost done?" I whisper, noticing Parker is already asleep in his bed.
"No!" Tyler whispers with frustration. "Every time I type a fucking sentence, I get that green squiggly underline thing and the fucking program thing tells me that I've written a fragment. I know it's not a fucking fragment! It's a fucking sentence!"
"Take it easy! Why don't you just go to bed? You can work on it tomorrow or whenever."
"No way. It's gotta be perfect… like yours."
"Okay, g'nite." I give him a surprise peck on the cheek from behind after checking that Parker is still asleep.
"Get back here," he grabs me before I can get away. We share a longer and much more satisfying kiss.
"G'nite," I repeat, this time with a big smile.
"Love you," he whispers with a big smile of his own.
"Love you, too."
I wake up and the thought of Tyler's note springs to mind almost immediately. I look over at Tyler, who is still fast asleep in his bed. I wish I could crawl in there with him and sleep another couple of hours with his arms around me. I glance over irritatingly at Parker, who is starting to stir. I sit up in bed and yawn, loudly, hoping to send Parker to the bathroom and hoping to wake up Tyler, simultaneously. My plan works half-way, as Parker sleepily plods towards the bathroom. I scurry to Tyler's bedside, but he's still in dreamland. I stare at him for a few seconds, wondering if he's dreaming about me. Finally, I give him a very light kiss on the lips, and he awakens with a smile.
"Hey," I whisper, hearing Parker head down the hall to his Saturday morning cartoons.
"Hey," he yawns.
"Did you finish it?" I ask with hope.
"Yup," he cuddles back up in his covers and closes his eyes.
"Did you print it?" I shake him, both of us starting to giggle.
"I didn't hear you print anything last night."
"You were out!"
"WHERE IS IT?!?"
"Here." He pulls out a folded piece of paper from under his pillow. "And yes, this is the only copy and yes, I deleted it from the computer."
"Good. Can I… read it?"
"Cuz of THIS!" He points to his face, as tears begin to roll down his cheek. "FUCKING EMOTIONAL SHIT!" he sniffles.
"It's okay," I whisper, wiping his cheek, and just like before, tears automatically begin to run down my face.
"Just take it somewhere else and read it," he takes a deep breath and heads for the Kleenex box. I hear Mom in the kitchen talking to Parker. I should have enough time to read the note and compose myself before breakfast is ready.
I plan on heading for the basement, but my tears won't stop. There's no way I can make it past mom down to the basement stairs. I head back to the bedroom, get dressed and climb out the bedroom window. The tears get worse, and now I'm almost sobbing. Why is this happening? I feel awful inside… it's almost painful. I run down the street to mom's interrogation park and head for the tree I sit under when I want to be alone. I can't stop the tears. I want to read his letter so badly, but I physically can't unfold the paper. I just sit under the tree and try to take deep breaths. I wipe away my tears every few seconds so that I can actually read something through the blurriness. Finally, I breathe in as deeply as I can and manage to unfold the paper.
First of all, you make me cum so hard that I think I'm gonna die. But I'm not gonna write about that. You might want to make sure that no one ever finds this, cuz I'm not gonna hide that we're two dudes, or that you're my brother or that your name is Mace.
I want to apologize for the way I used to treat you. It makes me sad every time I think about it. I first realized I was gay because I kept stalking this cute guy at school named Jason. I always planned my day around where I thought Jason would be. One day it occurred to me when he wasn't where he was supposed to be and I was so fucking pissed and confused and worried and heartbroken. I knew I must be gay. Then one day, I noticed you. Suddenly, it was like the cutest guy at school lived in my house. I was like, Mace, Mace, Mace, all the time. I just wanted to be around you, and the only way I could do that without being weird was to annoy you. The only way I could touch you without being weird was to smack you and push you around. I hope you can forgive me for those times.
Then the day came where Carson made us play spin the bottle. When I realized what we were gonna do, I almost had a heart attack. When we first kissed, it was like fireworks went off in my brain. I had to try my best to act like some guy who was forced to kiss his brother. Then, when we did the longer kiss, it was like fireworks went off in my heart. I couldn't help but smile, and when I saw you trying to hide the same smile that I was trying to hide, I knew we had something.
Then, behind the shed, we had our first REAL kiss. Even though I didn't know what I was doing, it felt perfect. I knew what real happiness was, and I've felt that happiness ever since. I feel like that kiss saved my life. I always thought I'd be dead by the end of high school. I was always afraid of the future, and now I sit and daydream about my future with you in it. I love you, Mace. I want to be with you forever.
I refold the paper and put it back in my pocket, now with full, heaving sobs. I finally realize what I've been crying about. I'm ashamed. I'm not ashamed of Tyler… I'm just ashamed that I'm head-over-heels in love with my own brother. I had this little nagging darkness always present ever since our love affair started. I always thought it was just the fear of getting caught, but it's shame. I don't want to feel this way. I want to love Tyler with every ounce of my being, like the way he loves me. I know there's not a trace of shame in Tyler's love. I wish I could get rid of mine somehow. I wish I could wash it away in the shower. If I could physically cut it out with a knife, I would.
I think I understand what drug addicts go through. My love for Tyler is like a wonderful addiction. I know it's not good for me, but I have absolutely no plans of giving it up. I want everything to be perfect. I want to have a perfect life and a perfect relationship with Tyler. I feel like it's impossible. I can't even imagine a future where we could be together. It's hard to even think about the future. I can't see how this thing we have could possibly end well. I see only heartache and pain ahead.
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