A Matter of Perspective

by Elias Scott

Chapter 15

I was in a friggin panic. Frank was at a meeting and was going to be gone until around 4:00 or so. I wasn't sure I could wait that long. I paced and tried to take a nap and relax, but none of it worked. Frank's word, "Be yourself" kept ringing in my head. Like I really knew how to be myself. I had no idea after two years who that self really is. Part of who I am is gay, but I can't really go with that. In this situation, that part of me isn't important I guess. We're just going to a movie after all. If I got Frank right, be myself means not to act like a smart ass or like I know too much or want to fit in so badly I'll do and say anything. Damn. This is going to be fucking hard. But like Frank says, "You're the Brave Prince."

But I gotta to tell ya, I feel more like the Cowardly Lion. Nothing ventured nothing gained as they say. Still, I wanted to hear back from Frank right away. I know he doesn't want me to be dependent on him, but what can I do? Who else do I have? If it wasn't for Frank, I'd probably be dead by now. It's like God put him in my life and the whole thing with Pastor Todd was a part of God's plan. Hell, I don't know. Seventeen years, two of which were spent in hiding and an outcast after coming out of the closet, hasn't prepared me for tonight. Now that I'm doing my best to go back in the closet, everyone treats me like a human again. Why can't life be simple?

I answered. "Goin to be waitin!

He wrote, "I'm here," a short time later.

He likes to let me know he's paying attention and hasn't forgotten me.

I wrote, "Ok so like what I need is like conversation starters, answer to obvious questions (u know the ones!) and a force field that can deflect laser beams!!!!

He wrote me again just a little later. Guess he didn't think he'd said enough. Frank must have sensed how terrified I was. And as it turned out neither of us could have anticipated what happened.

Frank wrote back with what I consider a prophetic email. Little did either of us know what lay ahead.

He wrote back. "Can't wait to hear about the night. And you're welcome."

I wrote, "Gotta finish getting ready, but one thought. Wish you coulda been my dad. Love u.

He wrote:

Frank was right. God does work in mysterious ways, and I haven't been able to figure out what He's thinkin or planin.

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