A Matter of Perspective
by Elias Scott
Frank wrote me and told me he was having brunch with friends and spending some time visiting so he wouldn't be able to get back to me until mid-afternoon in case I was in a hurry to touch base with him. I appreciate him letting me know because when I don't hear from him, I begin to panic. He suggested I get in some gay teen chat groups and talk to people my own age. He's concerned that I'm becoming too dependent on him. He's probably right, but that's because there haven't been any adults in my life for the past two years and I really need an adult to talk to. Plus, gay guys already know what I'm going through and what can they say except for me to tough it out until I graduate and leave the hell-hole I'm in. That's what I was going to do until I started talking to Frank. Sure things haven't gone as smoothly as either of us would have liked, but like Frank says, "Life is never what you expect."
I was still wide awake so wrote Frank another email.
Will Waters <willw521K@*-----*.com> Sun, Aug 17, 12:22 AM
Thanks! And yeah...I'm still awake playing all kinds of scenarios through in my head like movies or something. Enough to make a guy nuts ya know?
I've decided something. Something important I think. I'm not gonna be decidedly or statedly gay or straight with anyone in my life except my parents and grandparents for now, and probably for a long while. I decided I don't have to be! After all gary did say I'm cool with him and Jason now right? So that being the case I'll just roll with it and be just that, "cool". If anyone else flat out ask me I'm just gonna say "I'm me, what're you?" Seems to me since I'm cool with Gary and Jason now, and we're all seniors now, and they're in the popular crowd too, that I may just not have to either worry or get so worked up about it anymore. And this new minor celebrityhood of mine that seems to exist courtesy of asshole may just work out pretty well for that purpose too. I may just look back at this whole thing some years from now (or sooner) and never have been so damn happy to get hit in my entire life. Ha! Matter of fact I'm starting to feel pretty good about it already. Knots....
Have a good time at brunch and afternoon with your friends. Think I just might enjoy myself at church too! After all, I am a celebrity now ya know! Ha!
We love ya (me an Max!)
frankf4321s <frankf4321S@-****-.com> Sun, Aug 17, 8:15 AM
Don't forget that the chameleon changes its colors to fit the environment it's in.
I've really felt out on limb, probably just like you because while I did expect skepticism from students we had a different plan originally because we didn't expect the minister to slap you. But then that has worked in your favor.
Hopefully, the guys will be happy to just let it go and you all be friends again. That's the way it should go, and if it appears to be going that way, just drop all the pretenses and stick with the line that it shouldn't make any difference whether your gay or straight. At the same time I wouldn't pick a side. Just leave it in neutral.
Hope your day goes well. God bless. Love ya. Hang in there.
Will Waters <willw521K@*-----*.com> Sun, Aug 17, 12:03 PM
Alright! Well, everything seems kinda sorta ok I guess. Believe it or not church was just kind of a non-event. I mean sure, got some looks, heard some whispering, asshole was very noticeably absent, but all in all it was pretty alright I guess! Not unusual for the associate pastor to take the reins in the summer to cover vacations, but always announced ahead of time in the weekly bulletin. But, of course with the exception of like two members who are older than God, everyone already knew the score of the game.
During social hour after the service every adult avoided me like the plague, but lots of kids came right up to me and hemmed and hawed and kinda shifted from foot to foot looking very uncomfortable and obviously wanting SO BAD to ask a question but didn't dare! It was actually pretty damn hilarious! And I just smiled and held my head up high and didn't let any of them off the hook and just chit chatted like nothing ever happened. One kid actually had the nerve to ask if my eye hurt so I grabbed it and looked shocked and said "why?! What's wrong with it??!" It was funny as hell!! Ha! And it did seem almost like I was a celebrity too!
When I went to the refreshments table to grab some punch and a donut a dozen kids followed me! And when I went to take a leak suddenly 6 other boys had to piss! It was fucking funny as hell! Even my dad laughed! Anyway home getting ready to head out. Me n dad n Max going out with uncle John on his boat to do some walleye and perch fishing because it's a nice cloudy cool 68' day and that's when fishin' rocks! We honestly haven't all done this together in two summers! Gonna be great! Awesome! We're leaving in like 10 min and I probably won't be back til like 8 pm my time, but I'll have my phone to read and return messages even if it takes me a while. I can always say I'm texting gary or Suzanne!
Great day so far! Love ya! Will n Max! Xxoo
frankf4321s <frankf4321S@-****-.com> Sun, Aug 17, 12:13 PM
Glad to year you're having a great day.
Will Waters <willw521K@*-----*.com> Sun, Aug 17, 12:24 PM
Yeah! Thanx! I think I've kinda earned it ya know! We're leaving like right now so I'll talk to ya tonite! Love ya!
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. If the email address pastes with %40 in the middle, replace that with an @ sign.]