Discovering Love

Written by Rick Beck

Chapter 42


That night Ted called. He told me how nice George was. I told him that George was one of the nicest people I knew. Knowing George, he would keep Ted busy and that would make Ted's life better. He wanted someone to like and maybe love and if I helped him find what he wanted, that was pretty neat. I didn't hear from George for a couple of days but when he called he told me he had seen Ted every evening and they were having a lot of fun. George was finally learning how to bowl. Ain't love grand?

Greg wasn't as much on my mind. I had gotten to the point where whatever was going to happen was going to happen. He was still a sick puppy and I would try to see him through. I had to wait at the house for the air conditioning man the next morning and I ended up hitching out to the hospital. It was just before noon when I was finally emptied out onto Greg's floor.

The first person I saw was Nurse Attila and with fire in her eyes she charged toward me. Instinctively I started searching my pocket for my ID and I braced myself for the frontal assault.

"Where have you been? That boy is driving us crazy. He's the only patient I ever wished had stayed in a coma."

"I... well...."

This woman, whom we both knew couldn't stand me, had me by the arm and was guiding me to Greg's hallway, and eventually to his room. There had been some long looks and even some giggles from some of the nurses when I showed up some mornings. I'm sure they suspected that my constant attention was more than your typical friendship. At least they were hoping for something really juicy to talk about but on this morning things seemed different.

"He's on that buzzer 24/7. I got nurses going down passing nurses coming back. We got strict orders to answer his calls immediately or else. Get that boy under control. Please!" Nurse Attila begged in a pleading voice.

I had her exactly where I wanted her and there was never any trouble again.

"I'll try," I said. "He's pretty demanding. If he knows you've got to wait on him, heaven help you."

"He never buzzes when you're with him. Just don't be late if you can help it," she said. "Please! We're on ten-hour shifts right now.

Running up and down that hallway is wearing us out. Any help you can give us would be greatly appreciated."

"How is he?" I asked at our release point.

"He's a live-wire," she said sardonically.

When I went into the room there was a nurse bending over him. Greg still had the emergency buzzer in his fist. She seemed to be massaging his leg. I stood to one side until he spotted me. His face lit up when he saw me.

"That's cool. That's cool, don't bruise it," he said, brushing her away.

"Don't be calling me back down here in five minutes. I've got work to do," she complained.

"I can't help it if my leg is cramping. Show him how to do it. He'll be here a while. You'll be here awhile won't you Martin?"


The nurse turned and smiled when she saw me. There was a look of relief on her face. The relief pitcher had come in from the bullpen.

"Show me. I'll do it for him," I said. "I spend most of my time staring out the window. Show me a spot where it hurts him, just in case he gives me any trouble."

She smiled a pleasing smile and took my hand from me.

"His thigh is cramping. We've given him medication but the knotting keeps coming back. You just use your thumbs like this and try to work the muscle back into itself."

"That's it," she gushed. "You've got good hands."

"So I've been told," I said, looking at Greg who was trying to contain his laughter.

"Remember, always go up-and-down to smooth it out, never side-to-side. That's it. It's just a gentle massage motion until you feel the knot giving way. Yeah, like that," she said as I took over from her. "Well, I guess I can go."

The nurse turned and left the room as I continued to touch his warm soft flesh. I looked at his face as he watched me and I looked down to see his balls and a portion of his curly pubes a few inches from my hand. Of course he knew where my eyes went and he watched me swallow while fighting off the urge to grab it.

"You want me to keep doing it," I said.

"Where have you been?" He asked impatiently. "I figured you had finally had enough of me."

"Our air-conditioning is on the fritz. I had to wait for the repairman to come. Then I had to hitch over. It's hot."

"You're sweating," he said. "Here's my towel. I was afraid you weren't coming back after yesterday. Look, you know I'm a dick. I'm all hyped up on this crap they're feeding me. Martin, I'm not responsible for myself right now. Give me a little time, will you? One minute I'm fine and the next I'm in the dumper or high as a kite. It's getting me crazy."

"I had to wait for the air-conditioning man is all. If I say I'll be here I'll be here."

He seemed bright and more lucid then the day before. He seemed to be more like the old Greg. He was moving around without the caution he had taken before. The wires that held the traction together and that ran to the pin in his leg clanged and jingled with each major motion. He no longer seemed apprehensive that all the gear would cause him pain if he was too rough on it. Greg was rough on everything and everyone.

He looked straight at me and he was good to look at. He watched my fingers as I worked gently on his fine thigh.

"You ought to be a nurse. You're more gentle than she is. She's been down here five times. I keep them jumping," he said with some hostility. He held up the emergency button still clutched in his fist. "Want to see how fast they get down here? Mom brought me a watch last night. We can time them."

"No, Greg. That's so juvenile. They've got an entire floor to take care of and you keep them running up and down this hallway because you have nothing better to do? I'll bring you some books to read. You can watch television."

I took the buzzer from his hand and hung it down by my leg. He looked at me like a wounded puppy. I could see I had hurt his feelings.

"I never thought of it that way. It's lonely down here. They aren't much to look at but they're better than nothing. There is a cute one at night. I'm not much of a reader. I thought you might not come back," he said, giving me a long look and putting his hand on mine as if he wanted to let me know he was serious.

"You're so self-centered and childish. I can only take so much of that. Every time I think we're starting to like each other, you get all pissy and bust my balls because I don't do exactly the right thing or say exactly the right thing. It gets old, Greg. Love only goes so far."

"I knew it would come back to that. Let's just forget what happened when we were kids. We're grown up now. This is different."

"You were never a kid, Greg. I don't guess I was either. I came up here to see if we couldn't be friends. You're the one that makes it difficult. You have a talent for that."

"Give me some time to get these drugs out of my system. I still feel like I'm not in control of my own body. They took the tube out last night. I can pee on my own again. Man I hope they don't do that to me again."

He pulled the sheet out from where it was stuffed down between his legs. His dick was pretty and pink and hung gently down to the sheet, partially obscuring his lovely balls. Its thickness was obvious even though it was completely at rest. Even so, and understanding his circumstances, mine was stirring and the giddy, horny attraction I always felt around him had me wanting to seize it and work it over. He would be helpless to stop me.

"It's dead. I tried to jerk off last night. Not because I was horny or anything but because I wanted to see if I could. I've tried a couple of times. Fucker won't get hard. I might be ruined."

He looked down at it like we were talking about an old friend of ours. I watched the one big vein that seemed to emerge from his unruly dark blond pubes and ran half way down the limpness before stopping. The head was so perfectly cut it was like artwork. It wasn't difficult for me to image it back at attention. That memory was etched into my brain. That was the way I saw it most in my dreams.

It was a tad sad that it was dormant, even for the time being. It was a subject we'd get back to because there was no way I could be around him for long without getting back to that. It was like a giant magnet and I was always aware of the pull it had upon me.

"No sense in getting us both frustrated," he said, pushing the sheet back to cover his nakedness, while my mouth watered helplessly. "Meds'll wear off after awhile. I'll be fine."

His thighs ran uninterrupted up to where his lower stomach started. His pajama top was wide open, giving me a clear view of him. Looking down the other side took me on a similar journey around his body. From the silky tufts of hair below his arm to the blaring white cast that came up to his ruddy knee, he was uncovered, save that sheet that stayed stuffed between his legs.

"No doubt," I said, pulling my eyes away, but he knew what was on my mind. Not that it was ever far away when I was around him.

The day went nice. We chatted and we held hands several times. I left while he ate lunch, still mostly glasses of this and that. He did get both ice cream and jello, the red wiggly cherry kind that excites your taste buds. It was all the solid food he ate but he said that too was changing and he was getting real food for breakfast.

"Hey, thanks!" He said as I stood by the door.

"Hey, yourself," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I felt bad leaving him there. I'd never seen Greg vulnerable. He was the most in-charge person I'd ever known, but he'd changed. I guess being in bed for a few months might do that to you. He was still the most handsome guy I'd ever seen, and he's still my captive audience for awhile yet. I did have thoughts of being the one to bring him back to sexual good health. That was important to me because he'd like that as much as my visits.

It simply wasn't time to get sexual with him. Right now I'd be playing right into his strength and he'd use my weakness against me, and that wasn't going to happen any more. I would help him out in a way he wanted but I'd do it in my own time. I wanted to enjoy the new Greg for now. I actually enjoyed being with him and there was no rancor anywhere in that day's visit. It left me smiling and him wanting more.

I thought about Greg constantly that night. Mostly I thought about how he looked when he pulled the sheet away. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I was up early and got some coffee in the cafeteria before going to his room.

Greg was watching television when I got there. He looked at me and smiled. I melted. He giggled.

"Well, sit down why don't you," he said. "You aren't planning on leaving right away?"

"No. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I wish I could get out of this place. What's up?"

"Not much. Life isn't all that exciting."

"Oh, thanks a lot. You'll never spend any better time than the time you spend with me here," he said, but he smiled when he was finished. "We both know that. Thanks for coming back."

"It's the least I can do. I take in stray dogs too."

He no longer took himself as seriously and that was making our time together easier. He put his hand on top of mine when I sat down beside him.

"We have had some pretty good times together."

"Yeah Greg. Pretty good times," I said, trying to remember a time when my insides didn't ache for him.

"That why you keep coming back? You can't forget the good times we've had? You can't get enough of me. Admit it."

"I don't know. I enjoyed seeing you. I don't remember the times being all that good. You don't seem to have a lot to do and I don't have anything to do. Why not do nothing together is how I figure?"

"I just want you to know I remember them. I'm sorry about acting like an asshole so much. You have a way of getting me pissed off. I don't know what that's about. I like you. I always liked you but you never gave an inch, you know. You're tough, Martin. Now I'm putty in your hands."

"Right," I said. "You ain't putty in anybody's hands."

"No, but I don't want you to leave me. This is all I have to look forward to. It gets pretty boring up here."

"Why are we talking about this. It's pretty well established you're an asshole and I'm not going to put up with any shit from you. Let's get past that and be friends. It's what I've always wanted to be, and you don't make it easy."

'Being me ain't easy, Martin. Believe me. I want to be one thing but I'm something else. It's hard trying to remember what I'm trying to be."

"Why not stop trying so hard to be something you aren't and be what you are?"

"Not. I can't be the other thing. It's too damn scary. I need people to like me. You know that. I need them to need me. I need you to like me but there are some things I can't change. Even though I might want to change if it would make you happy. I just can't change some things. You understand."

"You can do anything you set your mind to," I advised as he pondered the words more deeply than usual.

"Probably. Some things are harder than others."

"Greg, why not leave it alone for a while? You aren't going to do much but lay up here in this bed for the next few months. There's plenty of time for you to deal with that sort of thing."

"It was on my mind all night. You were on my mind all night. How easy it is being with you. You're the nicest damn guy I know. You've always been the nicest guy I know. I think that is what pisses me off more than anything. You put up with my shit and you're nice to me and the nicer you are the more pissed off I get because I can't be nice. I'm a dick. I wish I weren't a dick, especially around you."

"Well, at least you're a big dick," I said, really not going for humor, but it struck his funny bone and that was all that was left of the serious conversation he seemed to need to have.

He laughed so hard he cried and then I laughed. A nurse came in and after a minute, she laughed, and someone in the hall was laughing as she was leaving. We all laughed at nothing but it was cool. Greg forgot about his morose mood and I helped him eat his jello at lunch and he begged me to bring him some French fries back from the cafeteria, and I did, but he only ate two before remembering the Ranchero fries that he hadn't had in years.

I ate them for him and I left when they were serving him dinner. As I went up the corridor his mom was coming down.

"High Martin. Long time no see. I'll drive you home," she said with a wide smile and Greg's twinkle in her eyes.

"You don't have to do that. It's not that far," I said.

"It's three miles and you look absolutely frazzled. It's the least I can do. How is he?"

"He's starting to get back to normal," I said.

"Oh!" She said sounding disappointed. "I was hoping he might get beyond that."

"No, he's doing good. I mean it's fun being around him for a change. He doesn't usually make things too easy for me."

"Tell me about it. I've been his mother for nineteen years. I know how difficult he can be. He's a special boy, Martin. Not sweet like you but Greg has something most of us don't have. Unfortunately he doesn't use it for any good purpose. I've always hoped he'd grow up. Some times I wonder if he ever will."

We were in the big blue limo before I knew it and in five minutes we were crossing the highway and driving down my road. It would have taken me the better part of an hour and I was grateful for the ride. Instead of being totally wiped out I was only mildly worn down. I still ate and lounged rather than consider going out to be around other kids. I suppose I didn't feel much like a kid. I never had. For as long as I could remember I was old. Even with making progress with Greg, it didn't make me feel all that young.

The next day I was beside Greg's bed looking up into his more-alive eyes when Nurse Attila arrived. I took my hands off the bed and sat up straight so there was no reason for her to give me orders.

"I thought you might like coffee. I see you carrying a cup in the morning when you come in. We keep these for the officers. They won't miss one," she said, smiling with her lips and her eyes.

She sat down a tray on the cabinet beside me. There was a white carafe and a white cup and sugar and real cream. I didn't even get to thank her because she left so fast.

"What are you doing to her?" Greg asked. "She's like a caged-gorilla around me.

"I'm soothing the savage beast," I said, smiling while he wondered.

Greg again went into thought-mode and I'm sure he put two and two together. I usually put the buzzer out of his range while I was there. That seemed to earn me points as lunch showed up with two plates and I was told that one was for me. It wasn't half-bad food in spite of Greg's complaints. It did save me what little money I had. I did pass on the peas and carrots.

"Let me show you what I can do," Greg announced after lunch. "Hand me the bottle."

I watched as Greg pulled away the sheet and held his cock so the head leaned into the chrome piss bottle.

I looked up between his legs and admired everything I could see. He seemed to be straining and concentrating but nothing was happening.

"Give me a minute. It doesn't work like it once did," he explained.

On an impulse I let my arm cross his thigh and I ended up with my hand on his low hanging balls. I couldn't believe the silken texture of the smooth sack as I caressed it.

"Shit!" Greg said, looking at my hand. "I don't care if I piss or not. Keep doing that. Man that's so nice. I didn't think I'd ever get any feeling down there again."

"I'm only here to serve," was all I could get out of my parched mouth.

In a little while I heard the trickle of liquid turn into a flood as he finally pissed. He handed me the bottle when he was done. It was warm and I expected him to put the sheet back where it had been but he didn't.

"You can keep doing that," he said softly. "No one will come in until three. More meds. That's what makes my piss smell so rank."

"I didn't notice," I said, not wasting any time feeling him again.

His head fell back on his pillow as he stared at the ceiling. I could feel an ever so slight stirring in his cock. I massaged and felt it in every conceivable way I knew. Even trussed up as he was, he managed to get his legs further apart in an effort to facilitate my access.

"It scares me," he said in a sigh.

"What's that?" I asked, feeling the blood starting to course through the appendage.

"When I get off I'm usually pretty expressive, you might say."

"You just ease into it is all," I advised. "You won't hurt yourself. I'll help you do it right."

"You will? I really need to do this," He said, wanting reassurance.

"Just go with the flow. Let happen. You'll be okay." As I talked he started to stiffen more completely. The breadth filled my fingers as I massaged and squeezed it until it was throbbing in my fingers and standing at full arousal. The color was a magnificent display of passion and it twitched to my touch, much like that first day he allowed me access.

I had Greg exactly where I wanted him. Why it was so important to get him off, I don't know, but it was the most exciting thing I had ever done and I wanted it to be great for him.

The soft moans came evenly as his stomach and chest tensed intermittently as we tested his limits. His hips moved gently at first and then they were more animated while he was moving closer to the orgasm he needed to have.

"We're almost there," he gushed as his chest pumped out air and his upper body twisted in the bed.

Both of his hands were flat on the sheet, bracing him for what was about to come as he continued gawking at the ceiling. I felt his pulsing flesh starting to pump out the thick white fluid. At first it ran out of the tip and over my hungry fingers as they encouraged it out of him. Only after he was sure he could control the discharge did two quick pulses of cum leap into the air a few inches above the flared open red cock head.

I kissed the underside and felt the hot swollen tissue on my lips. It was the taste of honey as I let my teeth grate the ridge in a gentle bite. He moaned deeply and fought for a breath of fresh air as his upper body undulated from side to side. I used my tongue on the underside of the shaft.

"Oh, Martin," he gushed. "I've never cut loose like that. Phew! I didn't think I'd ever stop. Oh man that was so good. Thank you. Thank you."

I got the towel and wiped off my hand and his dick, and down between his legs and off the sheet. I leaned and placed my mouth over his belly button and licked it with my most passionate kiss. He giggled and started to laugh as I gave it my full attention.

He had a hold of my hand when I stood up and he pulled me toward the head of the bed. The bulging in my jeans was obvious and I was surprised when I felt his fingers on my zipper. Soon he had me exposed and had somehow leaned down to lick the head as he caressed and kissed it, using his hand adeptly on my steaming excitement. It was during the second or third kiss that I started spewing forth my appreciation for this special attention. His mouth immediately clamped over the head.

He continued his adoration until I was holding on to the bed, hardly able to stand. He came off, and I sat still exposed to God and everyone. He looked extremely serious and watched me recover.

"I haven't done that since I was twelve," he said thoughtfully.

"What's that?" I asked confused.

"Traded nuts with a buddy. It got so much more involved after twelve. I forgot how damn good that could be. You were awesome," he said with praise in his voice.

"You weren't half bad," I said.

"Yeah, but I'm expected to be good."

"I'm not?"

"You're too damn nice for anyone to think you can do that."

"What did I do?"

"Get into it. Really get into it. You seem so uptight but you aren't."

Late in the day before dinner came he wanted me to massage his leg. Of course he started to get erect while I was working over his thigh. Suddenly, my heart was pounding and I was breathing hard and my cock was hard as stone as I thought about how I had been touching him before. I had to touch him but he knew I would and he watched without saying anything.

Soon I was pumping and jerking him off for all I was worth. It was like that first day I saw him; he was absolutely irresistible to me. I just loved being near him, touching him, wanting him. I would have done more with his vocal encouragement, but we heard the chow wagon in the hall. He held my hand on his erection until the door swung open, and then I was pretending to massage his thigh until he got his dick under the sheet.

The orderly was oblivious to the lovers as he bragged about the food, telling us what was on the menu tonight. I excused myself while he was still getting things where Greg could reach them and I made my exit before we could get going again. As much as I wanted to keep at him I also wanted to put some time and distance between him and my passion.

This was the way I imagined it could be way back when, and now here it was. I had to get some control over my emotions. We'd finally gotten to where I wanted to go and I wanted to make sure we got back there as often as we could.

Greg wasn't far from my mind and I had to stop to let off some steam before I got to the house. I'd always been horny and ready for sex but never like this. It was a dream come true and I took advantage of the excitement.

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