Discovering Love

Written by Rick Beck

Chapter 17

Near Perfect Union

Feeling Doug against me took my breath away. We stayed in each other's arms and as tired as I was, I became determined to stay awake so I didn't miss anything. His kisses were sweet and his body was magic. Our groins ground together forming a damp warm lubricant that kept us from grinding the skin off one another.

I felt weak and dizzy and hot all over, like when you get the flu, only it was nothing like the flu. As the passion in our kisses grew my back ended up against the sleeping bag and the floor with Doug lying on my chest. It took him a few minutes to get back up to speed but there was no doubt when the softness turned to stone. He thrust his iron against what now seemed like my modest display. He moaned when he slid his over my rigid appendage. I don't recall ever being harder or hotter than I was then. Doug was perfect for me and I for him in that moment.

He took his mouth off mine and pushed his face between my neck and shoulder, giving me a chance to breathe. He too seemed to be struggling to breathe as his lips moved gently on that tender skin under my ear. He nibbled, blowing hot air that got my wick burning at both ends. After the intensity died away a little I found myself in misery once I heard that slow easy breathing take hold of him. After fanning the flames that were devouring me, he had fallen asleep. I knew the sound and I knew it meant I was left high and dry and horny as hell.

Had this been George or even Greg, his sleep wouldn't have deterred me in the slightest. Only it wasn't Greg. I would take anything I could get from him any time I could get it. It was different with Doug. I didn't know how it was different, it just was. Using other boys any way they would allow me, was part of the game we all played back in their basement. I didn't feel that way about Doug. Of all the boys I'd met Doug was the one who understood me best. Somehow he knew more about me than he could know.

From the day he'd walked in on Greg and I, while we were getting acquainted on his pool table, I knew I'd end up with Doug. It wasn't a comfortable knowing and I didn't understand where the knowledge came from but I had it. Of all the boys I knew, Doug had the ability to do more harm to me than any of the others. I trusted none of them beyond the offer of thrills they furnished me. Greg lit me up like no one else could, but I never trusted him for a minute. I would gladly have spent next to forever with Doug and that made me vulnerable.

Sex had been about getting all I could get until Doug kissed me that night and then everything changed. His kisses had altered my world. The way he kissed me went beyond working on the sex thing. Now it was like having a half of something that was nothing without the other half. Lying there, needing relief, I also found that I wanted to hold him, comfort him, keeping him safe from the demons haunting the dark.

I listened to Doug as he was breathing while I dwelled between awake and asleep. In a sea of feelings I became lost in the recesses of my mind, slipping away to the land of nod. I dreamed dreams about what I wanted to do with him. My fingers touched his skin and transported the feel of him into my fantasies. He was what my dreams were made of. I'd never really been with anyone like I was with him. I was not alone.

I went from riding on placid seas to being tossed about by an angry ocean. I thought maybe I was at the river but there was no shoreline. There was a thundering that came from the waves crashing against rocks I couldn't see on a shore that was not there. I found myself on the crest of a wave, but I didn't have a board and I'd never used one. Then I was airborne, in flight, floating, falling, rising, all at once.

Before I opened my eyes I realized that Doug was gone from my arms but he hadn't gone far. I found he had moved down between my thighs while I slept. There was a swirling and twirling going on inside my brain as his tongue and lips did there best to torment me into submission. I was lifted from the hard concrete flooring, rising up into the heavens in one swift jerk. I reached for Doug's face, holding onto him for fear I might fall into nothingness.

His mouth drove me out of my mind. His gentle fingers touched and held me close as he finally took all I had to give. I was down in his constricting throat and my excited cock flesh throbbed insanely. I arched my back and pulled his face down harder. I could only think that I wanted as much of this wonderful searing pain as I could get. My insides were churning as I felt like I was a foot long and growing deeper into his throat.

The night sky twinkled behind him as I opened my eyes to examine where I was. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming this or not but the feel of Doug on me had to be real. Nothing I'd ever experienced had gotten me this worked up. I closed my eyes again just in case it was a dream. I didn't want to take a chance that I might wake up before it was done. Then my body started to shake as I was gulping even more air and my shooting star took me off across the universe with Doug affixed. He took me to the outer reaches of our solar system and back in an instant. I gasped and gurgled and twitched without control.

My body shook as I held him down and not in a gentle way. My hips rose and my body jerked on his mouth. We were riding a wave through the heavens as he pulled me up and into him with his hands, holding me so there was no escaping. For those last erupting seconds we were part of the same body. He became welded to my comet of love and seemed content to ride it.

The hard concrete floor came up to meet us as the reality of the world slowly drifted back into my life. My heavenly host had stayed with me through the entire ride.

"I don't do that for everyone," the sweet lilt of his voice drifted into my ear as I worked on staying conscious.

His lips were next to my ear when he spoke and his body was once again pressing into my arms. We were immediately kissing.

"Was it okay?"

"Okay? Okay? It was wonderful. I've never... I didn't...."

"Shhh! Shhh!" Doug said. "I wanted to do that to you since that first day."

Doug lips were once again at the center of my world. He was perfect. The night was perfect and I couldn't imagine anything being as special as that moment in time. For the first time I'd melded totally with another human being. My sense of well being was complete. This was what I had been looking for.


I don't know what it was about that place or if maybe it was what was happening to my body, but whatever it was, Doug and I were sleeping again before I knew it. I half woke with him in my arms and drifted back away after a futile struggle with my eyes. Then I woke with my chest on his back and my arms were around him. I had grown back to full glory and it had crawled up into the warm moist crack of his ass. Once again my feelings for Doug awakened the lust that had been too long asleep inside of me. I'd never felt anything like what I was feeling for him.

I failed in my effort to resist temptation, not that I spent much time wrestling with it. For two or three minutes I let my passion loose in his crack, letting that flesh hold me the way it must have been designed to hold a man's desire close to his love. When a super human effort had me determined to leave him alone, his hands closed on my wrists and he pulled my hands up to his face, kissing one and then the other, letting his tongue lick them.

My mind was already a flutter from what I was doing to him and his lips sealed the deal. I had all the approval I needed for my aberrant behavior. I thought I would be satisfied with a few more quick thrusts but my body was having none of that, especially after his arm reached around me to pull me closer to him. I was helpless to deny him. I had to be dreaming. There was no way he wanted me to....

His ass pressed back hard against my steal blade. He was making himself available for anything I had in mind to do to him. I was hesitant when it came to breaking through his restraint. It was short lived after he took me in his deft fingers, placing me at his port of entry. There was a deliciously super warmed silken feel to what was becoming a damp spot on his bottom.

The resistance was substantial at first but with both of us working at it, the tissue separated enough to allow me to gain a foothold. By rolling my weight onto my thrusting spike at the same time he was forcing his ass back on me, we breached the opening lustily. I gasped as a long low sigh came out of him, but then, he reached behind him to put a stop to the progress we were making. He denied me the very thing I desperately needed at the instant I was ready to plunge forward.

He had closed tightly on my shaft just below my cockhead. It was a tight collar that had me feeling huge. I was pulsing wildly against his tender hot inner flesh. I fought to stay in control of my own body. Then his fingers were relenting a little, allowing me another inch or maybe two before they once again slowed my progress to a stop. I was both overheated and agonizingly disappointed by the delayed progress. The further inside of him I went, the further I needed to go. His once anxious posture had given way to caution.

It was when I thought I couldn't possibly wait another second longer that he set me free with the reminder, "Go slow, okay? You've go to do it slow at first or it hurts for days afterward."

"Yeah," I agreed, being willing to say anything to get us on to the main event.

Our momentum once again came back into concert as he pushed back on me as I pushed forward, locking my position each step of the way to assure that he couldn't take back anything he gave up to me. The deeper I sank the more incredible was the feel of him against my overheated hotrod. My cockhead massaging his delicate channel at the same time his tight ring was massaging my shaft. It was ecstasy. Never before had my dick been so well connected to my sensory perceptions. It was like being born.

As soon as he released his grip on me I was pushing forward for all I was worth until my pubes were against his hole. Once I realized the entry and docking was complete, my mind whirled with the wonderful pleasure and yet my desire demanded more, and this time there was no reluctance from Doug.

"Okay," Doug said, pulling my arms back around him, holding my hands on his chest as it swelled with air and more.

"Okay," I said, wanting him to verify it was okay to proceed at my own speed.

"Okay," he said, giving me permission without stipulation.

If there were limits I would find them. He pushed his ass down tight on me. When he stopped his backward movement, I timed my withdrawal to coincide with his move forward. After giving up an inch, I quickly pushed back, fearing he might desert me if I gave up too much ground. When he continued working with me, I repeat my motion, giving up a little more ground each time.

"Uh!" He said in a pleasing release of air.

Each time I penetrated him totally a sound burst from him in various tones and volumes that were directly related to how hard or how gently I collided with his bottom. I imagined the noise to be his mantra to our love. As I listened closely to the arousing song I heard my own grunts joining his to form this strange symphony that accompanied our carnal endeavors.

We did a half a role until I was on top of Doug's back. The sleeping bag was pulled down off us as our sweat dampened our bodies. The cool night air felt good on my naked skin. I now held myself up with my arms as I kneeled behind him, driving relentlessly as his body rocked and the moans escaped. I found myself trying to watch my own cock appearing and then disappearing back inside him.

The noise we made was echoing through the cinderblock room. I panted and found it difficult to get enough air. My heart thumped heavily in my chest. No matter how much distress there was in this activity, I could stop or even slow down. It had gone far beyond my control by the time I was up to full speed. There would be no stopping me now, or so I thought.

As I watched my cock stretching his hole it was only a blur in the too subtle light of the moon. I knew we were getting close as our grunts and groans mingled with the frogs and the crickets. In my delirium it sounded like a voice. I pushed the idea away as I got closer. Then, I thought I heard someone's name.

"Timmy!" a voice said from the open doorway.

"What?" Timmy answered immediately.

"Come on. I want to talk to you," Greg said in a whisper.

I lay on Doug's back without coming out of him. I couldn't stop but Greg's voice had certainly slowed my momentum. I felt overexposed. We all waited as the room grew silent except for Doug and me and our heavy breathing.

"Okay, better than listening to these two go at it all night. At least I can sleep once you're finished."

Doug was silent and I refused to look at Greg. I could feel his eyes on my bare fucking ass. He said nothing, which made it worse. I knew he wanted to curse me. I don't know how I knew.

"They wouldn't let you play?" Greg asked in a quiet monotone.

"I got mine. Then they started up. I haven't slept since. I was jacking off when you showed up."

Timmy went out past Greg as I glanced in his direction, pretending to watch Timmy's exit, as I lay naked on Doug who kept his face away from the door. Greg was standing in the doorway watching us. He had a tent in his boxers and his fingers were examining it from outside the cotton. When I glanced again, he was gone. The cool night air and Greg had done the impossible. I stayed inside Doug but without the passion I'd just had. My wick kept me warm, taking the heat from Doug's innards and transferring it into my own. I lay there on top of him wondering how I could be caught between them.

"You done?" Doug asked, pulling my hands under him as our faces lay together.

"For awhile," I said, not knowing how to answer or how to explain. I was still as hard as ever but there was no get up and go in my erection. I was content lying there with him like that, thinking about what Greg thought of me.

"You know he don't care nothing about you. Why do you like him?"

"I don't know," I said, confessing my sin to the only person I was capable of loving just then.

"We need to switch sleeping bags," Doug said. "I'm sorry. I just loaded yours up. I'm a mess too. You didn't get off did you?"

"Okay," I said, really not wanting to give him up.

Not having either of them was the only thing worse than wanting both of them.

"You didn't did you?"

"No!" I said as I eased out of him while he made me do it slowly.

Having to leave the warmth of him was disturbing. I felt suddenly alone again. Doug stood in the corner and peed into a tube and funnel that had been attached to the wall. He used a towel that was near the bedding before tossing it to me.

"Come on. We can use mine. I don't know if Timmy will be back but you never can tell about that boy. We can get another sleeping bag if you want to sleep alone."

"Yours is fine."

We once against ended up with my chest on his back and he was in my arms. I had lost none of my stiffness and when he felt it on his crack, he put his hand on me and slid it back inside him just like that. This time it was a warm smooth entry with no resistance. I figured I must have been getting the hang of it.

"That's better," he said. "That way I know if you get up."

"Yeah, that's a whole lot better," I said, meaning every word. I've never...."

I don't know why words were so hard for me to find some times. Why I opened my big mouth without having a clue how to finish what I started to say is beyond me. My words lingered and ended right in the middle of saying nothing to him. I felt like a dork. Doug ended the awkward silence for me after letting me stew for a few seconds.

"I know," he said as he pressed against me. "I'm all you got tonight though. He'll keep Timmy busy. You can go with him tomorrow night if you want. It's okay. I just want you for myself tonight."

Our closeness didn't allow me to consider sleep for a long time. Feeling him in my arms was good but I still felt bad. Being inside him made it better. While he snored I finished what I started hours before. I did it so slowly he never knew. It didn't take but a half a minute once I decided I couldn't hold off all night like that.

He was still breathing that heavy deep sleep sound when after I was done and had gone limp. I thought I was in love with Doug. I knew I loved Greg.

I finally fell asleep.

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