Book 1: Billie Joe's Journey
by Rick Beck
The bus pulled into the middle of Seattle after the morning ended. Carl and myself were forced back together again by the press of other passengers, but he kept holding my hand and looking on me all the time. He had no trouble doing that because he sat five or six inches higher than I did. He was most of six two and I was five foot nine when I stood up real straight like your parents are always saying to do. That way he could lookdown on me, easy. We got to talking about dimensions and that's what he told me. I won't tell you about other measurements he gave me. It didn't mean anything to me then because there was nothing to compare with, but I found out later that Carl is a man among men.
I went off the bus in front of him. He held his bag up on his shoulder and his best part pressed against the middle of my back. It took maybe five minutes to get off that bus, and I wanted to wait for everyone to get off and drag Carl back to the back to maybe talk a little longer or something. He seemed very sad when we stood at the bottom of the bus's stairs.
"Do you think your brother would let us stay together?"
"Don't know," I said, but I thought it would be cool. John came out of the depot door as soon as he saw me. He came right up and hugged me. My brother had never done that before, I don't think, but all the time he was looking at this great big green-suited guy beside me.
"Hi, John. This is Carl. We met on the bus. He took care of me and all. I want him to stay with me until he goes to Japan in a few days on account he don't know no one else."
My brother's hand shot out. Carl smiled as he leaned around me to shake it.
"What have you got in mind, kiddo. I got to talk to Mom and Dad about what you are doing you know."
"Sure, and that's okay, but don't you go telling them I'm staying with Carl in his motel downtown. That's all."
"Wait! Wait! What's this about staying downtown in a motel room?"
"Carl's going to Japan, John. He's fighting for our country. He wants to see the city, not the University."
"We're fighting Japan now are we Carl. They must have missed that one on the evening news. I bet someone's going to be surprised when they hear about it. Kiddo, I'm not sure about this. Let's go back to my place. You guys can see the University District and go to the arcade, and we'll eat. I'm sure you can use some food after all that time on a bus. We'll talk about it. I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes."
John grabbed Carl's duffel bag, and we found his car and drove to Last Train To Brooklyn, a coffee house in the University District that has been there just short of forever, or so John said.
It was neat, and they served soup, cider, and all kinds of sandwiches and some pretty primo desserts. We talked and Carl mostly didn't talk, and he kept his knee against my best part. There was no question where it was at. Once when John went to piss, Carl started holding my hand and looking at my baby blues like they might be a double scoop of deluxe Rocky Road Ice Cream or something.
After we ate we drove to John's apartment. I looked around.
"Damn, this is smaller than I remembered, John. Where in hell are we going to sleep?"
"I'll sleep up in the loft. I've got a piece of foam I'll throw down for you two. As big as Carl is, I don't know if two of you will fit on it, but then there's the floor if you can't manage on it."
"I'm a soldier," Carl said. "I can sleep on a quarter laid up on its side."
That was a full-blown speech for Carl. More words than he said since John picked us up. He got into some civvies he had in that bag, and I dragged him down to the arcade. I played all my favorite games. Carl stood behind me and watched. When I say he stood behind me, I mean like he never stopped his body being against mine at all that afternoon. School was out for the summer and so many kids were there that it didn't look too odd to anyone but me. I kept feeling him pressed up in my back and to tease him I leaned back and tried to rub it up and down to make him crazy. Which it did.
John showed up at dark, and we went to IHOP. Carl kept yawning and stretching as he proceeded to clean out the IHOP of their pancakes. After the forth or fifth plate, John and I just watched him go to it. I didn't think anyone could eat fifty pancakes, but Carl did. For lunch he had had an English muffin and coffee, and we didn't eat breakfast, so I guess it built up for him. He had to eat all three meals in one. Luckily it was all you can eat on plain pancakes for a buck ninety nine. I think IHOP lost money on Carl.
Back at John's apartment, we talked and they had beer, and I had an A&W Root Beer from a gallon container my brother kept on hand at all times because back in Minnesota we liked root beer all the time. After awhile, John said he had to get up early to go to work. He laid down a big piece of foam and found a couple of sheets in the closet. We used pillows off his couch. We were about ten feet below where my brother was snoring in his loft.
I don't suppose having a first night in a bed with someone is always like a honeymoon, but if a honeymoon is like the first night in that bed for Carl and me, I want more of those. Now, I kissed Jenny-Jill Janes on the lips when I was thirteen. Mostly because Jenny-Jill wanted me to. I didn't know what the big deal was. Jenny-Jill just didn't cut it in the kissing department. It was like a scientific experiment, no passion.
I kept on my underwear and Carl was wearing those ridiculous green boxers he got out of his bag. I don't know when he got them on, but I guess I didn't all the time look at him because of John. He stood over me after I lay down. The piece of foam was maybe three feet wide. Carl stood there and looked at me in the dimness from a light coming in the back window. He just stood there looking down at me. I thought maybe he was going to start getting mean to me again, but he didn't. I looked at him all over and came to that slot in his shorts where his buckwheat hair curled all up under the hole. I kept looking at the hole wondering about what I knew was just inside there and all. Especially since I hadn't touched it in hours.
Without my realizing it, the head of that thing slipped out the bottom of the leg, and it hung out there for me to discover after a minute of looking for it at the hole there.
"You coming to bed or what?" I said.
"I don't know. I'm thinking on it."
"If you stopped liking me again it's okay. You can not like me if you want."
"You're nuts. I'm nuts for what I'm thinking. You're a fucking kid."
"Yeah! And you're an eight foot kid in a green monkey suit. You're a few months older. Just because I'm smaller than you doesn't mean anything. You think those few months make you that much more a man than I am."
"I don't know. I don't know nothing. I'm afraid I'll hurt you, Billie. I wouldn't hurt you for anything. You believe that don't you?"
"Yeah! I guess. If that gets your ass to lying down so I can stop looking up at you. Sure!"
Carl stepped across me to the other side of the foam and kicked off his shorts. He was standing right so the light from the window showed on it and all. I mean he dropped them green things and stood up. That thing swung from side to side with his movements as he moved. I liked looking at it and all and especially at him being naked, but I had other things in mind.
He slid in the bed next to me, and I covered him up with the sheet. In a bit, I got so I could stop gasping for air. I don't know why I felt so dizzy all of a sudden, but either there was a powerful lot of heat rolling off him, or that room was some kind a hot. I don't know, but all of a sudden there was a tropical heat wave inside that apartment. I just lay there still like, listening to him breathe. It was no trouble hearing him. He was really breathing hard.
I don't know what I thought. I don't think I did think. I'd never done anything like I'd done with Carl, but I knew whatever we did, I'd go nutso over it. You don't think about stuff when you don't know about stuff, and I didn't know and I wasn't thinking, but it sure was hot! It was then that I learned something about kissing. I had never thought of Carl as the kissy kind. I thought maybe he'd want me to do something to make him get off, and then he'd go to sleep. I mean I knew he kept touching me all the time, but I also remember what his mission was in Seattle. Then I started thinking why in the world is he here with me if he wants to find some woman to put his thing inside of. Wondering stopped when Carl's lips touched mine. I'm sorry Jenny-Jill, you ain't got no lips. You are a lipless wonder. Carl's lips were like absolutely totally and completely alive with excitement. He just leaned over and his face came real close to my face. I kept trying to see his eyes, but I couldn't see anything but holes, and he got closer and closer and his face hung over mine about an inch away, and his lips just barely brushed mine, like he might be scared a bruising 'em or something like that. Then I knew his eyes closed because the holes disappeared and I saw his lids. I mean there his lips were touching mine, and like the room lit up and spun around and funny crap happened in my groin. I was like so hot I couldn't stand myself, and his lips pressed just a little harder and he turned his head to brush them from side to side across mine, and well, I just kinda melted.
It don't get no better than that. Shit it don't. His tongue came out and the tip barely touched my lips. I knew I was dying. I couldn't breath. It was because of doing this nasty shit. God was striking me dead. I didn't care. Kiss me to death, but just don't stop. If this kills me, I'm ready. I mean nothing ever in my life compared with that kiss. He just kept on with my lips and when his tongue parted them, I at first thought this should be gross with him touching my mouth like that with his tongue, and yet it wasn't gross. It was so hot I gasped for air, and my heart pounded, pounded, pounded so loud I couldn't hear my own thoughts. Not that they were worth hearing anyway.
Once my mouth opened, his tongue slipped onto my teeth. He licked my fucking teeth and gums, and then he hit the button. With all that tongue action, I spread my teeth apart so he could have at them, and that tongue slid onto my tongue. I'd heard of a meeting of the minds, but this meeting was about it! I knew I was a goner, and my tongue and his tongue danced, and my arms grabbed around his chest and I pulled all of him on top of me and that tongue, that incredible tongue! He ground his thing into mine through my underwear. He kissed me and slid it up and down against mine, and the lights were flashing again, and bells were chiming, and I thought if I wasn't dying than I was surely going completely nutso. But I didn't care where I was going as long as Carl was with me.
We kissed that first kiss for maybe an hour and a half. He did slow down to lick my neck, my face, my ears, my eyes. I never knew tongues could be so awesome. Carl's tongue was a magic carpet for me.
"What's wrong with me?" Carl said.
He rolled off me onto his back. He lay with his hands behind his neck and his thing sticking up in the air, and he stared at where I knew my brother was sleeping right up there.
"Why'd you stop?" I whispered.
"I don't know what I'm doing."
"Could have fooled the hell out of me. If you don't know what you're doing, I don't want to meet anyone that does! I thought I was going to die you made me feel so good."
"Yeah, but I don't know why I'm doing this."
"Is it really important? Like your business hasn't fallen off because you are. I'm holding you over 'til you can get yourself some woman. I'm your substitute for a night. Let's just make the best of it, okay?"
"It's not like that, Billie."
"Like I want to be doing it with anyone else. I don't want to find no woman. That's what scares me about you. I want to be with you. I want you and me to be together. I never felt this way before. I mean girls sure, but it wasn't nothing but wanting to get what they got. With you I want to be with you and I'm afraid I'll hurt you, and I think I'm in love with you Billie Joe Walker."
He stopped as if hearing his words shocked him.
"Damn you anyway, you and those pretty blue eyes and that cute face!"
"What's the problem? I can't find anything wrong with anything you've said."
"You mean you think it's all right for a guy to love on another guy."
"No. Not exactly, but I think it is super you are loving on me. You've only got a few days. I'm going to be with you every minute you say it's okay. And you want to go off with some bimbo, that's fine too, I guess. I'll take what I can get, on account of I've had nothing till I got you, Carl Young. No one ever lit me up like you do. I don't know what love is. I don't even know what intense like is, but I know I want to be with you and I don't care about anything else in the whole world. If that's wrong, then as long as I'm wrong with you, I don't really care, but I don't think it has a thing to do with right and wrong. We just got what we got and it is what it is. That's all."
I decided I should put my hand on his hand, and we held hands while he pondered what I said. I don't know how I could see his eyes then, but I could. They seemed as clear as day to me. He squeezed my hand and then held it to his chest and moved it all over so the back of my hand was feeling the sweat on his skin. His big nipples were like bumps in his hard chest. His muscles were all tight and warm. His stomach was flat with a fine fur below his bellybutton. When he let the back of my hand go into that wiry buckwheat hair below his belly button, my mouth went dry. My eyes glazed over. My heart went nutso again, and my breath, well, I might as well have given up oxygen for a spell.
Carl's hand rubbed hard on his thing as my hand felt the wiry hair and my head felt crazy. I kept watching that thing bob up and down and I had this notion I wanted to get it into my mouth and all. I'd never had a notion like that, but I had never been in bed with any one like Carl either.
He lay there with his eyes closed and rubbing himself with both our hands locked together. I slid down real slow without moving my hand out of his. I could hear a hum real low in his chest. When I got to where my head was right at his middle, I leaned up so my hand stayed in his hand. I looked at his thing, and the muscles were all right there, outlined beneath the skin so you could see them. His thigh was twice as long as mine, but my muscles don't show at all. You wouldn't know I had any muscles in my thigh, but his muscles had lines all around them, and they were long and lean, not big and huge, but very good to look at.
Then I took to looking at it. He was moving it around there with his hand, but the head seemed real tight and bigger than his shaft by a ways. It wasn't all that fat that I couldn't do what I wanted. I watched his face. It was kinda tight like his dick, but he was someplace else. He just seemed to be lost somewhere. I watched the motion with the rubbing and waited for it to get right at the best place, and I took it in my hand and held it up so my tongue could lick it like a double scoop Rocky Road sugar coated cone you get down at Marvin's Ice Cold Delectable Delights.
Carl's eyes snapped open with a click I could almost hear. I ran my tongue all the way around the hard ridge at top. He gulped and gasped for air and pulled my hand up, his palm on mine so the knuckles rested on his stomach, which was in the process of jumping up and down. He stared at me. He didn't say a word, and I really couldn't talk right then, but I could see all that tightness go out of his face. I licked it all around the ridge one more time, and I put the tip of it in my mouth.
"Damn!" he said. Damn!!"
Whatever. As long as it wasn't "stop, stop." I heard him gulping like he had a mouthful of some medicine he couldn't get to go down. His stomach felt like jumping beans dancing on the back of my hand. His other hand covered the back of my head. I slid on past the top and got down a few inches on him. It all tightened up then. I didn't have to hold it. It was standing straight up with no help. I could see the bottom side of it, and it looked like someone shoved a nice round pipe up the middle just under the skin underneath his dick. He had all that fuzzy hair on his belly, but his balls were smooth. Those balls were like small hens eggs, and I took to squeezing them real gentle like and watching them dance inside there and all.
It was a funny taste. It was warm. It was soft, but it was mighty hard at the same time. It's hard to describe sucking a dick the first time. You don't know what to be expecting, and while I never once felt like spitting it out, I wasn't sure what I was doing with it either. Whatever I was doing seemed okay by Carl, who lay there gulping and gasping. That encouraged me to keep at him.
"You better quit it," he said with a strain in his voice.
I stopped and leaned back pulling my hand from beneath his not sure what the problem could be.
"You going to start complaining. I never done this before. Give me a break."
"No. I mean I'm about to nut in your mouth. You ain't ready for that. I'm not ready for that."
On that we could agree, all right. I didn't know what a nut was, but I wasn't ready for any more than what I already had done to him. Not that I was complaining about it. I'd have spent the rest of time down there on that thing of his if he had wanted. It was about as neat as the first time you plunge off the first drop on a roller coaster ride or get the nerve to go off the high dive that first time. Just everything falls out of your stomach and you think you might puke, but at the same time you get this thrill that rushes though you and it makes you feel invincible. I felt pretty damn invincible when he told me I had done good on him and all. Each step of the way he made better.
He wanted to kiss some more, and we did, but I kept one hand on him to make sure it stayed right up there. I liked holding it and touching it. It just made me feel warm all over, like we were connected there and no one could take that connection away. We sucked face for a long time. I know I was dribbling in my undies, but not for long. He got hold of them and almost ripped them off me.
"Get up on my chest."
I thought I knew what he wanted and I kneeled across his chest and got attracted to those nice nipples of his. I went to sitting on them and rubbing my thighs on them. And then it hit me. My pecker got eaten up by his mouth. I about rolled off his chest. The heat shot through my legs, up my thighs, into my stomach, and last but not least down through my balls and up into my pecker that was now buried in his throat because I guess I had gotten a little excited and jumped on his mouth with it.
Now I know I was supposed to like it, and I know I did it first to him, and I know I should have felt pretty good about the whole thing, but by the way he was coughing and choking I really felt pretty bad. I mean no one had ever done that to me before, and I'd never really done anything at all except on a bus with him, so I guess it might be expected, except he didn't expect it. He'd warned me and I didn't warn him on account I didn't know how quickly I'd overheat. If you take every feeling I had that night up until that very second, multiplying by a hundred million, and you get what I felt at the instant I did to him what he refused to do to me. I nutted into his very lovely throat.
I've heard of premature ejaculation and know it is to be avoided at all costs if you are to be a successful lover, but I couldn't do anything but gasp and go with the flow, so to speak, shoving my pecker deeper into his already full mouth.
He coughed and gagged and choked, and there came a voice from on high.
"What's going on down there? Someone dying?"
Carl choked some more as I got off him and lay back down on my side, shaking like a shithead.
"Something caught in my throat," Carl said.
I started laughing and covered my head with the pillow. Carl started laughing when he realized what he said. He tried not to laugh but he couldn't stop.
"You okay?" John asked.
"Yeah! I just need some water."
"What's so funny?" John wanted to know.
"Nothing," I said.
"You awake, too, kiddo?"
"How can I sleep with him over there choking and coughing? Boy needs some water bad."
"You want me to get up?" John offered.
"No, sir," Carl said yanking on his boxers. "I can get it. I'm getting some now. Sorry I woke you, sir, I mean John."
"Okay. Get some sleep now."
"Yes, sir," Carl said, sitting at attention with that thing sticking out of the hole in his boxers.
Carl cleared his throat a few times.
"You guys can get that motel room tomorrow and maybe I can get some sleep."
"Yes," I said without speaking the word. Carl smiled and said it back to me as we silently slapped hands.
"Damn," echoed from upstairs as John rolled around his bed, "Can't be too soon."
Carl lay down. I leaned over to kiss him. I tried to do what he did to me, but it wasn't the same thing. I mean nice and all, but with him on top of me it was like heaven fell on me and all. With me on top of him it was like I might roll off if I wasn't careful. I just did the best I could. Luckily he picked up where I left off, and before long I didn't know which end was up, though I could always tell by grabbing on to his best part for balance. He didn't seem to mind.
"I'm sorry," I said during a short break.
"Sorry about me being here?"
"Asshole. Sorry I did that in your mouth. I didn't know I was going to until I did. No one ever did that before. It just happened."
"It was okay. I mean at first I thought I would upchuck, but then I looked up at you and was happy I gave you that much pleasure. I hardly even put it in my mouth when that thick stuff was pouring down my throat. If I'd been ready I wouldn't have choked so much. It was a surprise for both of us. I never did that to a guy. Never thought I would. Just seemed like the right time to go ahead and try it. With you I mean. I wanted it because it was you. Not that I'm going to go roaming around the barracks to look for guys to deep throat. I mean, I never even thought 'a doing that 'til I met your fucking ass. You've turned me queer in less than a week. I was a normal pussy loving, red blooded, American, fucking, fighting, red neck until I got with you. Now I'm a fucking cock sucker. Go figure."
"Damn if you ain't taken to oration as well as dick sucking."
"What's that crack mean?"
"It means you just said more in a minute than you've said since I met you."
"Do queers talk a lot, too?"
"I don't know, Carl. There was no evidence I was queer until I met you," I said, giving him as much credit as he gave me.
"Maybe we caught it on the bus."
"I don't really care as long as we both have it."
Carl did just what I needed. He rolled over on top of me and did the thing with his lips again. I mean like it was the most gentle kind of thing ever, and the next thing I know he's licking my tonsils. As hot and crazy as he made me before, it was even more intense now. This time he rubbed that thing up and down my stomach and between my legs. He lay on top of me and I held him with my thighs and he pumped up and down. I grabbed his ass, holding on by putting my fingers in his crack. His ass was a big dimpled muscle. There was little fleshiness in his entire body, and my fingers could feel the silky skin inside. Each time he raised up, sliding up on my thighs, I fingered the hole. It felt different from everything else. It was rough and soft, and there was something about it that captivated me. I remembered rubbing against it the night before, and I remembered what I wanted to do to it, and I almost shot another load with him humping my thighs and me fingering his butt.
I had to think about the wart on the tip of my third grade teacher's chin to keep from making another mess.
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