Out of the Closet
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 16
Javier
The teachers mouth kept moving, forming a string of words that were incomprehensible to me. I had never been good at math, but what Mr. Douglas was teaching us now was so far beyond my understanding, I didn't even know the name of it. As more and more formulas appeared on the whiteboard stretching across the front of the room, my brain turned to mush.
Anyone who believes time can't slow down doesn't understand what they're talking about. I looked around the classroom and saw the other students taking notes or whispering to each other. They seemed bored, but not lost.
There's no way I'm going to pass the test. I closed my notebook and leaned back in my seat on the back row. I focused on my thoughts until the drone of the teacher's voice faded away. The events of the previous evening filled my mind.
I had to admit that it might have been a mistake to ask Kenny if he was gay. The poor boy was so deep in the closet that the question had just scared him away. There was no other explanation. He was stealing far too many glances whenever we saw each other, which by the way, was super cute.
If Kenny Sherman is straight, I'm a fucking math genius, I thought, and almost laughed out loud.
"Javier," the teacher called. "Wake up. I asked you a question.
With no idea what she was talking about, I stared at the whiteboard.
"Could you please repeat?"
"If the shorter cathetus is six inches and the angle here is forty degrees, how can we calculate the area of this right triangle?"
"Six inches and forty degrees sounds pathetic," I said, causing some of the kids to chuckle.
"Says the expert," a guy on the other side of the back row commented.
The entire class burst out laughing, and I decided it was better to laugh with them. Nobody had given me a hard time about being gay, except Chris at football practice, but at least they knew. Maybe that was a positive sign.
Mr. Douglas put the marker on the holder and walked through the classroom. He stopped in front of my desk and stared at me like he was thinking. Realizing it was best to keep my mouth shut; I waited patiently for the thin and tall man to say something.
Finally, he sighed and sat in a vacant desk.
"Do you have a friend who could help you study these things?"
"Huh? I'm afraid my friends are as dumb as I am," I said.
"Fine," he said, shaking his head. "I can make it eight inches on the test if it helps you to pass."
A few girls giggled, and the whole class was staring at me. I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I hoped Mr. Douglas would continue the lesson, but instead he seemed to enjoy humiliating me even more.
"We'll finish here," he said, standing up. "The rest of the exercises on the sheet will be your homework, and Javier will show us tomorrow how to solve them."
He returned to the front of the classroom, sat down at his desk, and picked up some papers. The other students began leaving the room, but I sat at my desk, collapsed in the chair, frowning. Mr. Douglas made some notes on his papers, ignoring me completely. The bell rang, and it was only when I sauntered toward the door that he raised his gaze.
"Take this seriously," he said. "If you don't pass the test, you'll have to take this class over."
Like it matters how many times I try, I thought, muttering something without stopping. I would have asked Jason for help, but he was equally bad at math. Besides, he probably hadn't taken the class yet. Then I realized that Kenny might be genius enough to tutor me. Besides, asking him would give me the excuse I needed to meet him again.
Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to ask him. One step into the hallway, I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me aside. I dropped my book and nearly fell when I was thrust against the colorful handmade posters that were hanging on the wall, advertising some school event.
"Look who it is," Bryan said.
His eyes were venomous, and his strong arm kept pushing me against the wall.
"What's your problem?" I asked, raising my voice.
"Chris got kicked off the team," he said, pushing even harder. "And it's your fault."
He was so close that I could smell his deodorant and feel the heat off his strong body that kept me in place. I tried to break free without success, but the poster behind me ripped. More and more students gathered around us.
"Let me go," I said, squeezing his arm.
"I thought you liked this," he said, kneeing me in the balls.
"Fucking idiot," I said, bending over and holding my crotch.
"Oops, sorry."
"Get out of my fucking face!" I shouted, pushing him away. "I didn't do shit to Chris."
Hands tightly fisted, I thrust out my chest and glared at Bryan, who had an arrogant smirk on his face.
"Fuck you!" I shouted, moving closer.
Just as I reached out to punch him, a voice echoed through the hallway. Everyone who had stopped to watch us argue jumped and looked at Mr. Douglas, who stood in the classroom door with a fierce look on his face.
"Javier," he said firmly, "to the principal's office. Now!"
All the students began to move away from the crime scene. They probably feared the math teacher would send them to see the principal too. There were only a few mentally sound teachers at Chouteau High, and he wasn't one of them.
"He started it," I said, pointing to Bryan, who raised his hands and shook his head.
"Didn't you understand?" he said loudly, like he was talking to someone who didn't understand English. "To the principal's office."
I dropped my arms to my side and picked up my books and notes from the floor. I looked back at him, hoping he would change his mind, but he did no such thing.
I couldn't bring myself to give a last nasty glare at Bryan. As I walked away, I sensed his eyes boring a hole through my back, but there was nothing I could do about it. Any feelings I had melted and evaporated into the air. I was numb. Everything around me faded away as I walked down the long hallway toward the principal's office.
I passed by the last strip of lockers. The people at the end of the hallway had no idea about the argument between Bryan and me. They were chatting and being silly and getting ready to leave school for the day.
I wish I was one of them, I thought as I prepared mentally for detention. It wasn't my first time, and it was the only innovative punishment the principal could come up with.
Then, I saw a familiar shape. I knew that hair, I knew the posture and those shoulders. Even though I had only seen them a few times, their shape had imprinted in my mind. It was Kenny.
I decided the principal probably wasn't holding his breath waiting for me to appear in his office. A small detour wouldn't harm anybody. The opportunity was in front of me, and I had to ask if Kenny would help me in math. As I approached him, I saw that he was leaning down to give his girlfriend a kiss.
Time slowed down even slower than it had been during math class. The plan of him tutoring me vanished into thin air, and I just stood there in the middle of the hallway and stared at the couple who tried to eat each other. And then Kenny broke the kiss and looked directly into my eyes, as if he knew I was there.
There was an odd feeling in my chest. I should have been mad, or at least jealous, but all of a sudden it was like me and him were the only two people in the school. Our stares stuck to each other like magnets, flickering down to our chests and waists, and ankles before rising to meet again.
A small grin on my face, I turned into the principal's office and disappeared.
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