Lost in the Dark

by Sam the Ham

Chapter 4

Xander's first day of school was not starting out well. All the kids on the street were picked up on the corner. Unfortunately, none of his friends were there. In fact, he was pretty sure he was the only sixth-grader. As he got on the bus, he found out they had assigned seats. That meant he had to sit up front with a girl in third grade and apparently her little sister who was in the first. This was not going to be the highlight of his day.

The school was located on the outskirts of town. Xander had never been so happy to get to school. As the bus disgorged everyone, he mentally summoned the map the school had provided. The school was a three-story building, and his classroom was on the top, two doors down from the staircase. As he walked up to the front door, he heard his name called out.


Turning around, he spotted RJ struggling through the crowd. Xander got out of the way of the crowd and waited for his friend to catch up. Sunday's basketball game had been a bit strange at first, at least for him. He couldn't stop trying to picture some of the boys naked. That was until Jessie stole the ball from him and he managed to get his head back in the game.

When RJ was closer Xander spoke up. "What's up?"

"Nothing," RJ said. "I just thought we could walk the class together."

"All right," Xander didn't think he needed it but it was a thoughtful gesture. He talked with RJ until they arrived at the classroom. The teacher was there and Xander introduced himself. She told him to call her Mrs. Q since her last name was hard to pronounce. After a little small talk, she told him to sit in the back row near the window. RJ was on the far end of the room to him. A couple of other kids were there, most of them glancing over at him before settling into their own desks. Jordan and Jessie came in together. Jessie swung her backpack off on the desk a few seats away before walking up to him and saying "Hi". Retreating back to her seat she started talking to the girl next door. Ryder came in at the last moment with a few other kids. He took his seat two seats down from Xander. Unfortunately, there was a boy between him and the view.

A bell rang, which quieted everyone down, and the teacher rose from behind her desk. She welcomed everyone back from break and then mentioned they had a new student. When she asked if Xander wanted to say anything, everyone turned to look at him. With butterflies in his stomach, he stood up and noticed that Ryder had not turned to look at him.

"Hi, I'm Xander. I just moved here a few days ago. I already have some friends here; it's nice to see you guys and girl," This caused Jessie to laugh. He sat back down feeling a bit embarrassed.

Mrs. Q smiled. "That's good that you've already met some of your classmates. Who do you know?"

"Um, Jordan, Jessie, RJ, and Ryder." He added the last name uncertain if he should. The thing was the more he thought about Ryder the more confused he was. Jordan and Tony had said some negative things about him, but Jessie had been all positive. When Xander said who he knew he noticed the blond hair flying around as Ryder quickly twisted his head to look at him. He wasn't sure what to make of that.

"That's great. If you have any questions about the school, it looks like you have some excellent people to ask. Now, you all had a little vacation from school. I'm going to be pushing you twice as hard."

By the time lunch came around he had figured out that he was ahead in history but behind in science. He also found out that music wasn't an optional course yet. Lunch was familiar enough. The same type of trays, the same not terrible but not good food. He sat with Jordan and RJ, who had a little group of friends. They seemed okay. He casually looked around and found Jessie was sitting with a few girls. He looked a bit longer and found Ryder was at the far end of the table by himself. Xander felt a strong desire to give him a hug.

One thing that was different from his old elementary school was that recess started when they were done with lunch. The cafeteria had doors that lead straight outside. He waited for everyone else to finish before following them out. Beyond the playground equipment was a large open field set aside for soccer and baseball. That was where he, for the first time in four years, started playing tag again. It was surprisingly fun.

The edge of the soccer field was one of the borders for the game. Xander had noticed that some kids would wait there for an opportune time to join the game, usually when the action was on the far side of the field. He saw Ryder standing there, and jogged up to him. "You joining?"

"You it?" Ryder questioned.

Xander shook his head. "It's the kid in the green shirt."

Ryder looked at him as he stepped over the line, joining the game. Something told Xander he was half expecting to be tagged right away by him. When it didn't happen, he started to relax and glanced towards the group, currently on the far side of the field. "I thought you were it."

"I wouldn't cheat like that," Xander said, watching as the kid in the green shirt tagged Jessie, who immediately turned and went after Jordan. "You know I think this is the first time I've seen you without your skateboard."

"Yeah. No reason to bring it," Ryder said. Xander tried to think of something else to say, but Ryder beat him to it. "How's your first day going?"

"So far not too bad. I didn't realize how much I missed recess."

"You didn't have recess at your old school?" Ryder asked.

Xander realized they'd never discussed the school before. "No, I'll tell you about it sometime if you want. Anyway, other than that I'm a little behind in science, but I seem to be caught up everywhere else."

Ryder hesitated for a second. "I'm good with science."

Xander was about to ask for help when Jordan, who had just been tagged, seem to notice them and started running towards them. They split, going in opposite directions, and Ryder was run down and tagged. They didn't get another chance to talk before recess ended.

The rest of the day was uneventful. The last class was English, and they were starting a new book. The teacher gave the class a few minutes to start the first two chapters but called Xander up to her desk. They discussed the classwork, and Xander said that other than being a little behind in science he felt like he was either with or ahead of them. She offered for him to stay after one day so he could catch up, but Xander said it was fine. He then went back to his seat to read until the day ended.

When the bell rang Xander, like everyone else, threw his stuff into his backpack. As soon as he had it swung over his shoulders, he was starting to go for the door but stopped when he reached Ryder's desk. The blond boy was packing up a bit slower than everybody else. It took the blond a few seconds to look up.

"Hey," Xander started.

"Hey," Ryder answered pushing some of his long hair out of his eyes.

Xander briefly wondered what Ryder's hair would feel like. "You want to come over today? We could hang out, just the two of us."

Ryder took a long time to answer. "I guess."

Xander nodded. "Well, you know where I live. I'll be waiting," He stood there for a few seconds, not sure what to do before he nodded again. "I'll see you soon."

He turned and walked away, not entirely sure why he had asked that. He wasn't the type of person who asked a friend over every day. He hadn't really thought of it until that very moment. As he stepped onto his bus, Xander realized he had noticed Ryder wherever he was that entire day. Was this what it was like to have a crush?

As Ryder walked down the street, he tried to figure out his emotions. He could see why Xander would want to be his friend. It was for the games. His feelings were a bit harder to place. He thought back to what happened on Saturday. At the time he had found it exciting, but afterward, well he had really needed to get high. What did he want from Xander? It was a question he didn't have an answer for by the time he arrived at Xander's house.

Xander answered the door and welcomed him inside. This time when he had to take off his shoes, he wasn't embarrassed. Ryder had made sure to check that none of his socks had holes today. For the rest of his appearance, he couldn't do much else. They went downstairs again and started up the Xbox. He didn't mind watching Xander play. He was the type to jump around and get startled. It was fun.

They talked about the day and little random stuff. Ryder was happy with the situation. Occasionally he had to deflect a question, but Xander never seemed to push. As Xander was wandering around in the game, Ryder gave a warning.

"Don't go there. There's a bunch of super mutants, you'll get killed."

Xander's character hesitated but continued on. "I'll just scope it out."

"You're going to die," Ryder said.

"I'll be careful," Xander said, bringing up the scope and scanning the area that was filled with large radio dishes. A second later there was a beeping heard. Xander dropped the scope and started running. The beeping became louder and louder. "No, No, No!" Xander muttered as he turned, trying to shoot at the super mutant who was chasing him.

"Shoot his arm. He'll drop the bomb," Ryder said, starting to laugh.

Xander did just that and the super mutant dropped the bomb which immediately went off blowing Xander's character into the air – or at least most of him. His arms and legs went in different directions.

Ryder couldn't resist," I told you so."

"You told me to shoot his arm."

Ryder shrugged and looked over at Xander, who was on the opposite end of the couch. "It works if they're not right on top of you."

Xander's lips pursed and then with no warning he pounced on top of Ryder. He rolled into a ball right away, but the expected blows didn't come. Well, they did, but they were more like taps. Realizing what was going on, he tried to play along, kicking out trying to push Xander away. Unfortunately, his leg was grabbed, and he was pulled out from his protected ball and found himself on the carpeted floor.

Ryder was used to being manhandled, but a play fight with Xander was new. They rolled around a bit, and each time Xander was going to pin him he found some way to wiggle away. Not that Xander ever really got the upper hand. Even though this wasn't sexual Ryder found himself starting to get hard. He liked feeling another body on top of him, and the hands touching.

He ended up on his stomach, thankful for his baggy clothing, with Xander sitting on his back. When Xander moved a bit, Ryder tried to pull away, but being too close to the couch he had to turn. Before he could twist free, Xander sat back down on his hip, flipped him over so that Ryder was now on his back, his head against the couch. He swatted at Xander, who grabbed one of his wrists.

Ryder tried to pull it free, but there was no hope of that. So he just tried to keep his other hand free. Pulling it away made Xander slide forward, and that made something rub against his stomach. At first, Ryder didn't notice it. Xander was wearing jeans and the fabric was a course, but when his hand was above his head Xander had to lean further forward, and Ryder knew what he was feeling then.

His hands swept back down and grabbed Xander's erection through his pants. "What's this?" Ryder said, giving it a squeeze. Even though the clothing there was no doubt what he held. Xander froze, and for second Ryder felt a thrill of exhilaration as he let his thumb slowly move up it. "Somebody's hard." When he looked up at Xander, though, the other boy's expression was blank.

The confidence he had felt just seconds ago fled Ryder. He had thought he had known where this was going, but now he wasn't sure. He let his fingers travel up and down the length of the dick in his hand a few times before he pulled his hand away. Neither of them said anything. Ryder could still hear the game going in the background, the dead music playing. Slowly without saying a word, Xander slid off of him, kneeling down next to him.

He lay there for a few seconds, not looking at Xander, and then bolted upright. He didn't say a word as he ran up the stairs. Ryder forced his feet into his sneakers, bending the backs of them. His vision was blurry as he pulled open the front door. He wiped away the tears from his eyes and started home. He stopped past a few houses away just to fix his sneakers. The entire time he had an inner monologue going.

Stupid. Stupid piece of shit. What were you thinking? You're stupid. Xander isn't messed up. You freaked him out because you're stupid.

When he got home, he kicked his shoes off, only to hear his phone go off. He had left it on the table by the entrance. At first, he was going to ignore it, but then he wondered what the hell Brendan would want. Picking it up he found he didn't have one message, but five and they were not from Brendan, but Xander.

He stared at the message for second before going through them one by one. 'Please come back,' Was the first. It was sent a few minutes ago. 'I'm sorry,' 'Ryder I'm sorry,' 'I didn't mean it,' 'Please say something!'

Part of Ryder noticed that Xander hadn't shortened anything. He toyed with the idea of not saying anything. The situation was already a mess, but as he thought about it – Xander was apologizing, but for what? He sent a message back. 'I'm here,' He decided not to shorten anything either.

Xander's response came in less than a minute. 'Ryder, can we talk? Please.'

Ryder looked up at his phone's charge. 'My battery's dying. Come here if you want to talk. Your dad knows where I live.'

This time the wait before Xander responded was longer, but the message was short. 'Coming.'

Ryder didn't respond, but took the phone to his bedroom and plugged it into the charger. Then he went to the front door and waited. Xander appeared a few minutes later. Ryder opened the door and stepped outside as Xander made his way up there path.

"Can we talk inside?" Xander said, even before Ryder had managed to shut the front door.

Ryder looked him up and down and then shrugged. "Whatever," He crossed his arms and waited in the living room as Xander closed the door behind him. Not knowing where this was going, he let Xander speak first.

Xander let out a long breath and Ryder noticed his cheeks were a bit red as if he had run part of the way here. "Ryder, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

Ryder nodded, chewing on his lower lip, confused. "What do you mean?"

The taller boy hesitated. "Is anyone home?"

Ryder shook his head. "My parents are at work. What are you trying to say?"

"I wasn't trying to do anything. It just happened!"

"You were hard?" Ryder meant it as a statement, but even to his own ears, it came out as a question.

"Yeah I was, and I'm sorry. When we started wrestling that wasn't my plan it just happened. It's never happened before."

Ryder was starting to realize two different things were going on here. "You've never gotten hard before?"

Xander looked down at the ground. "Well, yeah I have, but not like that," Xander lifted his hands to his head and squeezed them together. "Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't," Ryder said, thinking that was the end of it.

Xander continued. "I think I may like boys. That doesn't mean I was trying to do something with you. It just happened. When I noticed that I tried to stop, but well I…," He trailed off, squeezing his arms together to cover his face as he looked down.

Ryder stared at Xander. This was not what he had been expecting. He felt simultaneously afraid and excited. He could've stayed silent. Xander, though, was upset and something in him didn't like that. "So you like me?"

Xander let out a long, loud sigh. "Well, I don't know. I mean. Damn."

Ryder let his arms fall to the side and take a step closer to the other boy. Xander was easily a head taller than him, which meant he would have to look up to look away from him now. "Do you like the way I look?" Ryder asked afraid of the answer.

"Yeah," Xander said, letting his arms fall staring at him.

Ryder smiled. Brendan and Kevin liked what he did not what he looked like. This was nice. "What do you like about the way I look?"

Xander looked at him, appraising him. "A lot of things."

"Name one."

Xander grimaced. "Well, your feet."

Ryder looked down at his feet. They were clad in white socks. "My feet?"

Xander nodded.

Ryder looked down at them again. They were small like the rest of him. Why would Xander like them? Why would Xander like anything about him? "You want to sit down?" Ryder suggested.

"Okay," Xander said.

They moved over to the couch, which was only a loveseat; bring them closer than when they were at Xander's house. On a whim Ryder brought his feet up, placing them between the two cushions that were between them. "So you like my feet?" Ryder said. He thought back to what Brendan had told him to do. What was so interesting about feet?

Xander was looking down at them. "Yeah."

Slowly Ryder moved his feet a little closer to Xander. His toes touched the other's leg. "You want to touch them?"

Xander didn't move for a few seconds, and then his hand reached out and picked up one of Ryder's feet and placed it on his lap. After what felt like a very long time a finger slowly removed his sock. Ryder had never given much thought to his feet, so he had no idea if they looked good or not. However, when Xander's hands slowly wrapped around his foot and started to massage it, he decided he liked this. After a few seconds, Ryder brought up his other foot which received the same treatment. "You want to kiss them?"

Xander looked over at him, and Ryder stared back at him, not sure what he was doing. Slowly, Xander brought one of the feet up to his lips and kissed it. It was a weird sensation. Xander's lips kissed his arch, and he could feel the soft skin of Xander's lips touch his arch.

"Now what?" Xander asked.

Ryder's bravery was reaching its endpoint. "Whatever you want."

Xander didn't move for a second, but then slowly he twisted around, bringing his knees up, which caused Ryder to lean back. He was more than happy to spread his legs to either side. Xander started to pull him down a bit, so his head rested on the cushion, his hair spread out behind him. Ryder didn't resist when Xander grabbed his one wrist and brought it up to the top of his head. His other hand was placed over his wrist, and Xander held them there with his bigger hands.

"Anything?" Xander questioned.

Ryder nodded. "Yeah."

Xander kept his hand on Ryder's wrists, but with his free hand, he slowly started to move Ryder's shirt up, showing off his stomach. Xander did it slowly, and because Ryder was on his back, he had to help by rocking back and forth whenever the shirt became stuck. He felt a slight thrill as his chest was exposed, and as the shirt was pulled over his head, he felt his hair being pulled back. Xander's hips moved forward, forcing Ryder's legs further apart. It was a little uncomfortable, so Ryder wrapped them around Xander's hips, locking his ankles together. The other boy didn't seem to complain the way he was staring at his chest, maybe he didn't notice.

Ryder was starting to get hard and it wasn't the half-mast from the earlier wrestling. He was excited. When he felt Xander's hands touch his ribs, he closed his eyes as a finger slowly walked up to his chest. Xander's fingertips moved from one rib to another. Ryder felt himself smiling. When he looked down between them, he saw a lump. "You're hard again."

Xander stopped what he was doing and grimaced. "Yeah."

Ryder tightened his legs a bit, raising his hips up, and tried to push his own erection against Xander's. "I am too."

Xander thrust his hips down, pushing Ryder's butt into the couch. He felt the taller boy grind against him, and Ryder opened his mouth to let out a groan. Even though the jeans he could feel Xander's erection against his own. Opening his mouth and tilted his head back and forth as the other started to grind into him.

Ryder could feel his cheeks flush, and he tilted his head from one side to the other as he raised his hips to push against Xander's. He was used to having his mouth stuffed, he was used to being in a sort of control, but here it was all Xander. He was loud, and when he tried to move his arms, Xander kept them pinned. That somehow made him feel even more excited. He felt his orgasm building, and his legs tightened around Xander, who was moving his hips up and down. Ryder's toes curled as he felt an orgasm explode from his crotch. It was dry but sent a shiver throughout his entire body. Still, Xander continued to grind against him, and even though the pressure of his legs slackened slightly he consciously tried to hold on, tightening them again, until Xander pushed against him one more time and let out a weird half gasp, half moan.

When their eyes met, Ryder could see Xander was flushed, and he knew he must look similar. The silence between them started to stretch and was beginning to be uncomfortable. So Ryder cracked a joke.

"Well, that was fun."

Xander looked away and let out a throaty laugh. "Yeah."

"Hope you didn't make a mess," Ryder said, as Xander got off of him.

Xander looked down. "I did."

Ryder smiled when he got a look at Xander's crotch, though he couldn't see any wet spots. Not knowing what else to say, he straightened his shirt back, pulling it down. "Want to borrow a game?"

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