Strong Enough
by Nico Grey
IV
Had Caleb been more comfortable on his skis, he would have simply turned and skied back down the slope. He didn't want to intrude on the stranger or startle him. He could appreciate wanting solitude to enjoy the view from atop this height.
Since he wasn't willing to risk embarrassing himself by trying to ski back down the hill in front of a witness, Caleb concluded that he might as well stay. The other skier was shooting a steady stream of images with his camera, panning across the expanse of scenery in front of him.
Caleb took a moment to appreciate the focus and professional demeanor of the other skier as he worked. His tracks left the appearance of an effortless ascent up the slope. Now his obvious skill with the camera belied his youth.
The boy looked completely at home in the environment. Everything about him suggested that. He was casually but neatly dressed, a fringe of golden hair exposed beneath a gray knit ski cap. He wore a heavy gray hoodie with a winter scene in blue and white silk-screened across the back. His gray ski pants were so snug that they almost looked to have been spray-painted on.
Caleb couldn't resist enjoying the view those tight pants offered. For a kid, he had a very well-defined backside. Caleb could see the muscles working in his thighs as he made minor adjustments to his stance.
Abby would certainly have been amused, Caleb groaned. Just a week or two after taking offense at her suggestion that he check out middle school boys for his "love hunt", and here he was perving on a sixth- or seventh-grader! He looked away from the boy and tried to find something in the panorama before him to distract his attention.
The view had changed in the two weeks since Caleb had last stood atop the hill. He wasn't close enough to the overlook to see the homes in the center of Judah and the surrounding farms. But the foothills, then the Green Mountains spread out behind them, made for an appealing sight.
The hills were covered in trees, mostly evergreens, and the entire landscape tastefully veiled with a modest layer of snow. Sunlight glinting off the surface of the snow was dazzling. But the rolling hills and small mountains surrounded the scene like an amphitheater, lending a feeling of intimacy to the landscape.
Caleb began to collect images in his mind to recreate later. He regretted that he hadn't brought any supplies with him to record the view. But he also acknowledged that he probably wouldn't have made it to the top of the hill carrying any sort of burden.
Caleb was recording scenes in his mind when he heard the rhythmic 'swoosh' of something coming toward him. His first thought was to admire the casual competence of the approaching skier. His second thought was, 'Tyler!'
Tyler seemed almost as surprised to recognize Caleb, as Caleb was to see him.
"Do you live around here?" he wondered. "Or did you ski out this way?"
Caleb had to laugh.
"I live just beyond those trees," he pointed toward the base of the hill. "I couldn't have skied much farther. I'm brand new at this."
Tyler glanced at Caleb's tracks leading up the hill.
"I guess you are," he observed. He blinked and looked slightly ashamed. "But you got up here. That's the important thing. You didn't give up."
Caleb felt oddly encouraged by the praise.
"Getting up here just took perseverance. But I think that getting back down might take a miracle."
Tyler giggled.
"It won't be so bad," he assured Caleb. "When you're ready to go, we can go down together."
"I'd like that," Caleb was relieved. "Those trees down there look like they're just waiting for me."
"Trust me. You'll be fine," Tyler said. "Instead of skiing straight downhill, we'll cut back and forth across the slope. Sort of like we were sailing into the wind."
He looked at Caleb curiously. When Caleb didn't appear to understand the analogy, he explained, "You ski across the slope, from one side to the other. Then you turn around and ski back the other way. It's almost like skiing on level ground.
"I'll stay close to you. But if you ever feel like you're out of control, just fall down. Lie down into the uphill side of the slope." He mimed the movement. "That will stop you right away. Then you can get yourself together, stand back up, and get going again."
Ten minutes later, a very relieved Caleb was standing at the bottom of the hill. He was covered in snow, but uninjured. . . except perhaps for his pride.
Tyler found the experience very amusing, even if he had been pulled down and buried in snow twice during their lengthy trek down the slope. And somehow, Tyler's amusement helped salve the damage to Caleb's pride. He was happy that Tyler seemed to be having fun with another human being for what may have been the first time in years. He was even happier that he was that other human being.
"Do you want me to tow you back to your house?" Tyler smirked.
"I think I can manage," Caleb assured him haughtily. "As long as the trees don't try to get in my way."
"They look kind of tricky to me," Tyler eyed the trees speculatively. "I think maybe I should at least make sure that you get home safely."
Caleb assumed that Tyler was just teasing. But he agreed it was a good idea anyway.
"I can make some cocoa to warm you up," he offered. "Maybe I could toss your hoodie in the dryer, if you want to stay for a sandwich."
Caleb thought Tyler looked conflicted, so he decided to beg.
"If you don't mind, my mother may be back home by now. She'd like to meet you, just to have proof I've finally made a friend here."
That appeared to seal the deal for Tyler.
"Thanks," he glanced away. "That would be good. I don't have to be home for a while."
Forty-five minutes later, Tyler slipped his warm hoodie back on, stepped into his bindings, and waved goodbye. He had already made plans with Caleb to meet again the following day. Tyler was enthusiastic about teaching Caleb to ski, and Caleb was just as enthused to have Tyler teach him.
Nicole had been gently amused as she observed her son around his new friend. She hadn't seen Caleb in such good spirits for almost two years. And she had been impressed with Tyler.
Initially, Nicole had been uncomfortable when Caleb brought Tyler home. But once reassured that they were classmates, she turned her attention to discovering what sort of person he was. And that had led to some very encouraging discoveries. Tyler and Caleb were well matched in both temperament and interests.
She worried about whether Caleb would make good friends at Silver River. She had heard positive things about Abby. Now she had seen positive things about Tyler for herself. It helped ease her mind of the concern she bore for her son.
Nicole decided to stay in the background and leave Caleb to develop his new friendships. He was fifteen now, old enough to make many of the decisions about his life and to resolve the challenges that confronted him.
She worried about the trauma that had interrupted his emotional development two years earlier. But she also understood that he would only grow strong if he took control of his own life. She would always be there for Caleb, but only when he wanted help.
Caleb and Tyler spent a good part of Sunday morning skiing the trails around Caleb's home. Tyler thought that maybe he should invite Caleb to lunch at his home. But as he observed Caleb's progress throughout the morning, he decided that it would probably be better to stay fairly close to the Bradford's home.
Tyler proved to be a good instructor. It helped that he was patient. He also paid close attention to Caleb, both to see where he needed more help and to understand where he was progressing well and would benefit from new challenges. Tyler seemed to be intimately familiar with the network of trails near Caleb's home and had something new for Caleb to try whenever he demonstrated sufficient progress.
They ended the morning at the bottom of the hill behind the Bradford home.
"You can't be serious," Caleb complained. "There's no way I'm going to make it up that thing after all you put me through this morning."
"I was thinking that maybe you could go up a third of the way, just to show yourself how much you learned today," Tyler countered. "Besides, I want to show you what you'll be capable of doing by the end of the winter."
He didn't wait for Caleb's agreement. Instead, Tyler began to propel himself up the gentle slope with powerful strides, only switching over to the herringbone technique about halfway up the hill, where the slope become steeper. As soon as he reached to top of the hill, he turned around and glided smoothly straight back down the slope.
Caleb watched with amazement. What had terrified him yesterday, Tyler managed and made it look easy. His only consolation was the Tyler did appear to be tired from the exertion.
"We'll be doing that together in three months, if you want to stick with it," Tyler assured him. "Now use whatever technique works best for you and meet me about a third of the way up the hill."
Caleb still didn't trust himself to simply ski up the slope using diagonal strides, so he turned his ski tips outward and began to herringbone up the hill. It didn't take long before sore muscles were crying out for relief, but he was determined to avoid relying on side-stepping to climb such a gentle slope. When he reached Tyler's location, he decided to keep going and didn't stop until he was about halfway up the hill.
Tyler was grinning up at Caleb when he finally stopped climbing and turned sideways into the hill. Caleb thought that he detected both pride and a certain amount of amused anticipation on his friend's face.
"Come down the same way you did yesterday," Tyler directed. "I'll be nearby if you really need help. Just don't forget to fall into the slope if you have to stop."
Caleb was pleased with himself as he glided easily across the slope. When he reached one side, he carefully turned himself and faced in the opposite direction. Then he glided until he had crossed the face of the slope again. He was doing exceptionally well until he became overconfident.
After six gentle passes across the face of the slope, Caleb tried to turn back in the opposite direction without fully stopping. That led to one ski slipping directly downhill and Caleb and the second ski scrambling to keep up. Before he knew it, Caleb found himself accelerating in the direction of those trees at the base of the hill!
"Fall!" Tyler screamed at him.
Caleb didn't need any more encouragement and went down in a confusion of equipment and loose snow.
"Are you okay?" Tyler panted as he drove himself in Caleb's direction.
Caleb was pretty sure he wasn't injured, so he raised a hand and waved sheepishly. As he slowly began to pull himself together and regain his feet, he was outraged to see Tyler stop and retrieve his camera from its case inside his hoodie.
"What are you doing?" he demanded. "I could be dead here!"
Tyler couldn't stop laughing.
"Just preserving a precious memory for posterity," he assured Caleb.
If Caleb judged properly from the number of times he heard the shutter click, Tyler preserved more than a dozen precious moments for Caleb's future humiliation.
Tyler was still quite amused when they emerged from the trails and into Caleb's back yard.
"Hey, mom!" Caleb announced as he burst through the back door of their house and into the kitchen, "I figured out what I want for my big Christmas present this year!"
"Hello, Tyler," Nicole greeted the boys, "Would you like some hot cocoa while I prepare lunch for you boys?"
Tyler looked a little sheepish.
"That sounds good. But would it be all right if I ask for coffee?"
He turned abruptly and pointed an accusing finger when Caleb snorted.
"Don't you even think it!" he ordered.
"I wasn't thinking anything at all," Caleb insisted, "Although I may recall hearing something about coffee."
Tyler just grinned menacingly.
"While you're trying to recall what you think you heard, maybe I'll share a precious memory or two with your mother." He reached inside his hoodie and opened his camera bag.
"You know, I'm starting to think you may be right. I didn't hear anything," Caleb smirked. "Double espresso for my friend please, Mom. Even a quadruple. I think he deserves it."
Nicole glanced back and forth between the two boys, confusion writ clearly on her face.
"Cocoa would be great, Mrs. Bradford," Tyler explained. "But if you're having coffee, I'd love to share one with you."
Caleb sniggered. Tyler elbowed him in the ribs.
" Oh, yeah!" Caleb was reminded. "Mom. I was thinking that a hot tub would be a great Christmas gift. Something to help warm me up after hours out in the cold. . . and to soothe my aches and pains," he added accusingly as he massaged his ribs.
"You were saying something about precious moments," Nicole turned to Tyler.
She was pleased when Caleb and Tyler decided to visit with her over a long lunch. She didn't want to intrude in Caleb's life. But she was eager to find out how he was doing, whenever he was willing to share.
Both Nicole and Caleb were pleased to learn that not only had Tyler grown up in Antioch, but he spent most of his free time exploring the surrounding area. Caleb was learning to appreciate living close to nature and hoped that Tyler might become a friend to share that interest. Nicole was delighted that Caleb might have someone to serve as a guide and companion, especially someone who seemed like a very decent young man.
"What do you do after the snow clears?" Nicole wondered. "Do you prefer to hike? Or are you a runner?"
"I do a lot of hiking," Tyler agreed. "But I spend more time out riding trails on my mountain bike. I like to take photographs of things I see around here. And I can go more places and see more things on a bicycle."
Nicole noticed Caleb perk up and she smiled. The boys had a related artistic interest, and maybe Tyler's interest in mountain biking would help Caleb get back in the saddle, so to speak.
"That sounds like a lot of fun," she remarked. "I grew up in a rural area. Since Caleb and I moved here, I've really been looking forward to spending more time outdoors. Maybe a bicycle would be a good idea."
She waited to see if Caleb would say anything. He just looked thoughtful.
After lunch, the boys headed back outdoors and were getting ready for more skiing.
"I'm sorry I made that crack about your height," Caleb apologized. Tyler hadn't appeared to take offense, but Caleb was still concerned that he might have upset his friend.
"Don't worry about it," Tyler assured him. "I made fun of you for your skiing. You teased me about my height. It's what friends do. Besides, I knew you weren't trying to insult me. We were just testing our limits with each other, finding out how far we were comfortable going."
"Yeah," Caleb agreed. "My therapist said something like that once. With people you really like, teasing like that is actually a way to show you care. You don't take offense if you know the other person really likes you. And not taking offense shows that you like and feel safe with the other person."
Caleb cringed internally. He agreed with the sentiment, but he wished he hadn't mentioned that he heard it from his therapist. He glanced at Tyler, hoping that he hadn't been freaked out by the admission. But if Tyler had caught the slip, he was polite enough not to notice.
"We all feel bad about some things," Tyler observed. "They make us feel inadequate. And that makes us feel vulnerable."
He drew in a deep breath to screw up his courage.
"Like my height," he said. "It sucks to be almost sixteen years old and barely five feet tall. But when we're together, I don't think about my height."
Caleb was glad that Tyler was willing to discuss such a sensitive subject. But he did wish that Tyler wasn't having so much trouble maintaining eye contact.
"It's like my crappy skiing, too," he admitted. "Yesterday, when I didn't know it was you on top of the hill, I was almost ashamed to have you see how much trouble I had getting up there. But when you turned around and I saw that it was you, I didn't feel so bad that I can't ski.
"I mean, I knew that you were going to see how clumsy I was coming up the hill. But you're my friend. We accept each other, the good and the bad. Around you, I can be less than I wish I was, because I trust you. I still feel safe, even when you've seen me being weak."
Tyler looked thoughtful.
"I think I feel the same way. We don't have to hide our weaknesses and vulnerability from each other. It really didn't bother me when you teased me about my height. You've already shown me that you like me. And I trust that being short doesn't change that.
"Although, now that I think about it, maybe teaching you how to ski isn't such a great idea. Then you won't have anything for me to tease you about."
"Oh, come on, Tyler!" Caleb complained. "We should help each other. You teach me how to ski better and I'll teach you how to grow taller!"
Tyler looked at him incredulously, then burst out laughing.
"And exactly how are you going to do that?" he demanded, once he had settled down.
"Well, I'll think of something," Caleb assured him with a solemn expression. "I was pretty short once, too. But I grew. I'll just have to think some about how I did it. Then I'll show you."
Tyler broke up laughing again.
"Seriously," Caleb said. "You will grow. If that thing Lexxi said is true. You know, about the hair," he was embarrassed, but gestured vaguely in the proper direction, "Then it's only a matter of time before you get your growth.
" I was only an inch or two over five feet tall this time last year. And I was completely bald down there. But sometime after Christmas, I started getting some hair, and other stuff, you know. . . Well, now I'm five foot, six. And my doctor says I may still grow another two or three inches," he concluded optimistically. "You'll probably grow at least another five or six inches. You could even grow another foot."
"Right now, I'd be awfully happy with six inches," Tyler admitted. "I've spent my whole life looking up at people. What's worse, a lot of them have spent all that time looking down on me because of it."
"I don't, Tyler," Caleb insisted. "Nobody should. You're really very cool."
That was more sentiment than two fifteen-year-olds could cope with any longer. With a wave for Caleb to follow him, Tyler sprinted away toward the trails through the woods.
It was hard for anyone to stay focused during the final week of school before the start of Christmas vacation. For the students— even jaded sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds— there was too much anticipation for the holiday break. Some had plans for holiday trips with their families. Others were planning to stay home and enjoy a typical Vermont Christmas. All were looking forward to a break from the school routine.
For teachers, most had holiday plans with families. Some would travel. All needed a break from the demands of their job and from trying to herd distracted teenagers through the final week until they were free.
Caleb spent the week making sure he was caught up on all of his work and knew what he should be studying over the holiday break. He found that finally having friends, rather than being a distraction, actually made it easier to focus on doing well in school. He felt more connected to the community through his small social network. That inspired him to want to be successful there.
He found that he was attracting more attention in the classroom, and especially in the hall as he walked to his classes, after his confrontation with Lexxi in the cafeteria. He wasn't sure yet whether that was good or bad. He expected that challenging the social order in school would attract some negative attention from those who benefitted from preserving that order. But he also had the sense that while many of the students were eyeing him speculatively, it wasn't all necessarily in a bad way.
Caleb was pleased that Tyler and Abby were fitting together easily. Whatever they had said to each other had apparently reassured Tyler. After sharing lunch together for three weeks, they appeared to be as comfortable with each other as old friends.
Sometimes Caleb simply sat back at lunch and enjoyed listening to his friends talk. He thought that he had probably learned as much about the recent history of the community and his peers than if he had sat them down and interrogated each of them individually. The talent show incident never came up, but Caleb really didn't expect that it would.
He was a little uneasy when he arrived somewhat late to lunch on Wednesday. Abby and Tyler were huddled together, examining something on his cell phone.
"You aren't showing her any of those pictures, are you?" Caleb demanded as he set his tray down.
Abby's confusion, then her eager interest in 'pictures' reassured him that Tyler was keeping those images to himself. But the eager and expectant expression on her face made him wonder exactly what she thought he and Tyler might be photographing.
Caleb's alarmed expression, followed by his silent interrogation of Abby, left Tyler confused and curious. And in the end, Caleb completely forgot to ask what they had been looking at on Tyler's phone.
Lunch on Thursday created new complications for Caleb. Abby arrived first in the cafeteria. She located the folding chair that had become Tyler's preferred seat and decided to use it herself.
Caleb generally sat with his back against the lunchroom wall. But with Abby in Tyler's chair, Caleb decided to try out Abby's customary seat. His attention was going to be focused on Abby and Tyler, he reasoned. He really didn't need to be able to observe the rest of the room.
When Tyler arrived, he claimed the third seat with a puzzled expression on his face.
Abby and Caleb offered no explanation for the change in routine. But Caleb thought that she appeared to be secretly enjoying the mild confusion she had created.
Halfway through lunch, Caleb noticed a wary expression on Tyler's face. He raised an eyebrow and caught Tyler's attention.
Tyler shook his head. He seemed to be annoyed.
"Van Cross is glaring at you again," he explained.
"Where is he?" Caleb was tempted to spin around in his seat.
"His usual seat. On the other side of the room," Tyler explained. "I wish I knew what his problem was. He looks angry."
"I don't even know the guy. I wonder if he's one of Lexxi's friends." Caleb couldn't think of anything else he might have done to upset anyone.
"He was already looking at you the same way before you smacked her down," Tyler shrugged. "Maybe he thinks that he knows you from somewhere."
"Do you know him?" Caleb asked Abby. "Why would he hate me?"
"Maybe he doesn't hate you," Abby suggested. "The guy is kind of strange. I'll point him out to you when we leave," she added when Caleb still seemed confused.
When they got up to leave the lunchroom, Abby dropped her tray on top of Caleb's and wrapped her arm around his.
"Make this look good," she ordered, dragging Caleb to his feet.
She waited for Caleb to collect both trays, then clung to his side as she directed him to the return line. As they crossed the room, she described Van's appearance and offered a brief description of where he was sitting.
When Caleb finally located the guy, he was startled to find hard, ice-blue eyes returning his gaze. He was even more startled by the overt hostility in Van's eyes. It bordered on hatred; almost like a physical threat. Caleb had to resist the urge to drop into a defensive stance.
He was absolutely certain that he had never seen Van Cross before in his life. He was also certain that now he would never forget him.
Caleb felt some wistful regret when the lunch break concluded on Friday. He was looking forward to vacation. He always enjoyed Christmas. But it would be more than two weeks before he would have lunch again with Abby and Tyler. That reunion felt it would come a long time in the future.
He thought that Abby and Tyler might be feeling the same way. There had been promises from Tyler to visit Caleb as often as he could, so they could go skiing. There had been threats from Abby to call him several times each day, including before six-thirty every morning, just to make sure he didn't fall out of the habit of getting up for school on time.
The friends broke up to go in their separate directions. But when Caleb glanced back, he noticed that Abby and Tyler had come back together again. They were walking away from the cafeteria, their attention fixed on something in Tyler's hands.
Authors deserve your feedback. It's the only payment they get. If you go to the top of the page you will find the author's name. Click that and you can email the author easily.* Please take a few moments, if you liked the story, to say so.
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address (it goes directly to your clipboard without having the courtesy of mentioning that to you) to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. Note: If the email address pastes or arrives with %40 in the middle, replace that weird set of characters with an @ sign.]
* Some browsers may require a right click instead
