The Universe Hates Me
by Andrew Passey
Chapter 8
I woke up the next morning feeling on top of the world. I have a boyfriend! ND Freddie has a boyfriend! And it's my best friend! I'd massively overslept but last night had been exhausting. We'd kissed and then we'd talked although I can't remember much about what was said. It was all very hazy and like a dream. I did remember that Alex had told Zoe he wasn't interested and he liked me and she was super excited. Apparently she claimed it as she'd matchmade us which was utter bullshit. She did however promise to keep everything secret which was good as I wasn't sure I wanted to be out. Then again if Alex came out as well then I guess it would be cool to be gay!
Now I know Alex had said we should take our time but now he was my boyfriend I couldn't wait to do all manner of things with him. After all as I'd blurted out before he definitely had a "nice dick." Part of me was incredibly excited to do sex stuff with him, part of me was nervous as fuck.
I closed my eyes, let my hand drift down to my hard dick and started to play with it. A long leisurely wank was just what was needed.
"Get up you lazy boy! Stop playing with yourself and come downstairs for breakfast. Well virtually lunch now!"
"I wasn't!" I lied but sighed. It would have to wait. I hoped to see Alex today but we hadn't made a plan as yet and I'd forgotten to charge my phone when I got home last night. My brain was so overloaded by how amazing everything was I'd sort of forgotten to do simple normal things like that.
I got dressed, went downstairs and started eating the toast that Dad had made me. I idly drifted off into remembering the night before. The way it felt when Alex kissed me. When he told me he liked me. When I felt his dick pushing into me.
"From the look on your face it was a good night last night." Dad's voice interrupted my day dreams causing me to yelp and drop my toast.
Damn, busted. I quickly stopped smiling, picked mu toast back up and just innocently shrugged, "Just the usual party Dad, was lots of fun."
He snorted in amusement, "You hate parties! So....did you get any action?"
"Any "action"? Action?! What a crass way to describe being kissed. Not that I was kissed or anything like that. Even if I had been it would be a very private thing. Not appropriate to share with a 60 year old man."
"I'm 42 years old Freddie not 60. Is that you confirming you did get some "action"?"
The door bell went saving me from Dad. He looked at me expectantly but I was halfway through a piece of toast and studiously ignored him. He sighed and went to answer the door himself.
"Alex! Come in! Lazy bones has only just woken up. Or got up, who knows what he was doing in his room!"
I coughed on my toast and then Alex was there, walking into the kitchen dressed in just a t shirt and shorts. He was smiling broadly and my heart did cartwheels. I loved seeing him happy and I loved that he was clearly happy because of me.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey back, what you up to?" I asked smiling back at him.
"Was going to suggest we go for a walk, find a quiet place to hang out and...talk and stuff."
"The "and stuff" bit sounds pretty amazing."
"Um boys, I am literally standing right here while you flirt with each other. Alex, Freddie was just telling me about being kissed by you last night!"
I was halfway through a gulp of orange juice which I sprayed across the table and had a major coughing fit.
"I..didn't say anything of the sort! YOU suggested I'd had some "action" and I just said if I had been kissed or anything it was none of your business."
"I'm not an idiot. It's obvious something happened last night. I'm really pleased you two have finally worked it out. Honestly the pining looks you've been giving each other for months. I guess it just took Freddie a long time to work it all out no matter how hints you dropped Alex, he's not the quickest at times, too busy watching monster porn!
Dad!!!" I protested turning bright red as Alex giggled. However Dad then turned his attention to Alex.
"So Alex, I've already had the chat with Freddie but I want to warn you that NO part of your body goes inside my son's bottom without it being covered by a condom!"
Alex went as bright as a sun going supernova and made whimpering noises at where the conversation was going. I stepped in to try to help him.
"Leave him alone Dad! We've only just got together, we're not thinking of having any sex for ages!" I said lying my teeth off given what I'd been thinking of not fifteen minutes earlier. "Also why do you assume Alex is going to be sticking it inside my bottom rather than the other way around!"
Ha," Dad said, looking me up and down and then smiling and winking at us both, "You tell yourself that Freddie. I've no doubt you'll be sucking each other off every chance you get which won't be very often if I get my way but I think we all know anal sex wise you'll be taking it from Alex. It doesn't make you any less of a man. So Alex, condoms, condoms, condoms! Oh and plenty of lube, I don't want you going inside Freddie all dry!"
Alex's face was as bright red as mine, he looked like he might be about to die. He opened his mouth a few times and nothing came out apart from a weird squeaking noise.
"Dad why do you have to be so blunt!? We know what we're doing! You're scaring Alex!"
"I just want you both to be safe! And the more times we have these conversations the less chance you'll want to have sex. Now, let's talk about rimming and protection for that."
At that point Alex pretty much ran from the room and up to my room, leaving my Dad chuckling to himself as I ran after Alex.
"Fuck, I want the world to swallow me up." he said with his head in his hands.
"It's fine, you know my Dad, he likes to think he's a comedian!"
"I hadn't even thought about us having sex and then your Dad hits us with that!?"
"Really?" I asked in surprise. "Cos I was thinking about in bed this morning!"
Alex blushed and managed to squeak out, "But we've only just got together!"
"I know! There's no rush. As you said yesterday, one step at a time. I do want to have sex with you, loads of amazing sex! But not right now tempting as is but Dad is downstairs. Also only if you want to. If you don't want to that's fine. I've read all about consent online and neither of us should do anything we don't want to."
Alex took a few deep breaths and smiled at me, "Thanks. I think I do want to one day but let's just kiss for now."
"Sounds good to me!" I said and I kissed him passionately before Dad shouted up, "You two better not me doing anything up there. Otherwise I'll have to come up and tip a bucket of cold water over you. it works on dogs in heat, maybe it'll work on teenage boys in heat as well!"
We went downstairs together and I told Dad we were going out to the park.
"Have fun boys, just make sure your "and stuff" doesn't end up with you both being arrested for public indecency or lewd acts. Basically keep it in your pants and keep each other's hands out of each other's pants as well!"
Alex went bright red again while Dad laughed as I shot him a look of daggers. We headed outside into the bright sunshine.
"Sorry," I said as Alex looked like he might be hyperventilate.
"It's fine, it's just.....I'm not used to the brutal honesty and bluntness of your Dad around....sex."
"Yeah, I think his whole goal in life is to make mine hell and embarrass me at every given opportunity. Ignore him, he's just jealous that we're together and he's still single!"
Alex then gave me a nervous smile, "Um....was your Dad right?"
"About what?"
"You know...about me er...um..."
"About you topping me?" I asked to be rewarded with Alex going bright red again and muttering a "yeah."
"I think that's how I want to do it when it's time, at least at first anyway but only if you want to be on top. Do you?"
"Um...I think so yeah. I dunno, it's um....its awkward talking about this sort of thing. Heterosexuals don't need to worry about this sort of thing. I'm happy to take it in turns but I sort of....I think i want to be the one mostly um...putting inside you.. With a condom obviously."
"Hey don't listen to Dad, we're both virgins aren't we? I don't think you can catch anything if you haven't had sex with anyone before. But let's do lots of research first. Now it's a beautiful day and so let's not waste it talking about Dad and his idiot ways."
Alex nodded with a smile. He was always the cool one bit this whole sex thing had definitely knocked him a bit! I did like it when he blushed as he looked absolutely adorable. We walked towards the park and I wanted to hold hands but I just wasn't sure how sensible that was. We hadn't even talked about coming out or anything like that. Last night had been such a whirlwind. We'd have to take it one step at a time. For now I decided we should enjoy each other's company. Like we always did although now there was an added element of spice to the whole thing. Now we were boyfriends. Maybe for the first time in a long long time I felt like the universe didn't hate me.
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