The Circle
Chapter 1
by Smokr
Toby's Return
six months ago
Another dull, rainy, late summer day alone. Tom was visiting family out of state for the week. Jeff and his family had left for vacation two weeks ago and wouldn't be back for another week. Eric and the twins were out doing something with other buddies, or staying home today; they probably wouldn't be around until Friday for the Circle meeting, if then. There was no one else around, and it looked to be that way for a week.
I was spending the last days of August before my junior year alone. As it was a Sunday afternoon there was nothing on television, so I was listening to the radio. Bad To The Bone by George Thorogood and The Destroyers was still getting a lot of airplay, and I didn't mind. I played air guitar along with it and growled out the chorus as I rolled onto the side of the bed. I was howling along when I happened to see a head with blond hair so light that it was almost white coming into view over the last step up to my room. I stood up to see over that last step, and saw that it was Toby; and it wasn't.
The last time I had seen Toby had been last summer, a year ago, when he had been up to visit his aunt in her mansion up the street and around the corner. I had fallen in love with Toby at first sight in the park. We had gotten as close as two people could in the one month that we had together. The parting when Toby had left his aunt's house to return to Georgia with his parents had been tough on us both. We had loved and lost in one summer month.
If that's Toby, he's a lot paler and a hell of a lot thinner, I thought as the person took the last couple of steps up to my room. He looks like a cancer patient! His face is like drawn inward, and his eyes have dark circles around 'em. But it's him!
"Holy shit! Tob! When you get up here!"
I was surprised beyond belief, not only at the sudden appearance of the close friend, the lover, the special one, but his poor appearance as well.
"Last night. Gonna be up 'bout a week," he said a bit out of breath.
Oh, that voice! Was it just a bit deeper now, and maybe a little less smooth? The accent is what's so killer! I turned the radio down as I passed it, walking closer to the strange looking, yet familiar person.
"Oh wow! So how you been? Dude! I gotta tell ya, you sick or something? You look like crap. Something wrong? Why did you bleach your hair? It looks good, but you had such cool, strawberry hair before!"
"You look older! You grow a lot?"
I stood up, proud of the latest growth spurt. I was three inches taller and much broader since last summer. I had nearly caught up with the older Toby in height we saw as we stood closely before each other. We placed our hands palm to palm as we faced each other in the old, familiar way once again.
"You're still bigger," I admitted, looking up into his startling green eyes.
"When we get t'find out fer sure?" Toby asked, stepping up closer, now chest-to-chest.
I was on fire! Toby was back! Only a week, but it was already clear not a minute would be wasted!
"Any time your ready," I said, leaning in closer, gazing into the long-missed face and the green eyes that had stolen and held my heart since that first day in the park over a year ago.
I noticed how thin he looked, though, as if he were starving. The eyes were still so green, and his lashes and brows so pale over them. The cute, pointed, narrow nose was a bit larger. He still had that pale, slightly sunburned complexion all over, though it had an almost yellow tint to it then. I could smell the same cologne on him, and his smell under it. I was being driven wild.
Mom called from downstairs, "You boys hungry?"
"I got t'get back fer dinner," Toby called back to her.
"Okay. Dinner in a few minutes, Alex," she answered back.
"Guess we have t'find out later," Toby said, pressing himself up against me, still holding palms to palms, but now with intertwined fingers.
Toby pressed his groin into mine, and I felt the excitement evident there. He was hard and ready as well. My pulse raced and my breathing changed, I started to sweat and my legs felt tingly. But that tingle was nothing compared to what Toby's presence was doing to my heart.
"I love waiting," I said as we kissed.
Our lips met in the same way that they had last summer, as if the time between had never existed. We tilted our heads and slightly opened our lips. Lips pulled lips, teeth nibbled them from time to time, tongues brushing each other.
"Only a week?" I asked during a break.
"Yeah. But we won't waste a day. I'll go see 'bout stayin' over here t'night, maybe all week, 'kay?"
"Sure!" I said before we rejoined lips.
How awesome! And I was so worried he might not be interested this year, if he came back at all! Loosing him last summer had been so hard! Neither of us knew if we would ever see each other again. It had been as if he died. But now he's back!
We broke hands, letting them roam over each other. I felt the narrow hips and the contours of his ribs, even in back. Toby's hands went from my butt to my shoulders in alternate timing, occasionally stopping to briefly pull me into a tight hug.
"I'll call 'n let ya know what my folks say 'bout stayin' over, 'kay?"
"Cool. I hope you can every night!"
"Me too!" Toby said, his old, happy self and the familiar smile finally showing up.
It felt so good to see that sight again! Not just that it had been so long, but the way he looked was so frightening. All the worries and frights that Toby wouldn't be interested in carrying on anything, even if he got to come back this summer, seemed to melt away, freeing me from a weight that I hadn't even known borne down so heavily upon me.
"I was worried you might not want to, um, not want to do anything, you know?"
I stumbled over the words while gazing into his eyes.
"You were 'fraid I wouldn't feel the same?" Toby asked, evidently very surprised.
"Yeah. Or if ya were even coming back," I said, looking down at our feet.
Toby pulled me into a tighter hug by my ass and nibbled my earlobe. It tickled when he did it that way, and he knew it. Toby moved to my brow for more kisses there, and I instinctively faced upward to receive them. He took my glasses off and tossed them on the bed, then he pulled me tight and kissed me hard, sucking my lower lip as he pulled away.
"You're the only reason I came up!" Toby said firmly into my eyes.
I grabbed Toby's ass, pulled him tight, then returned the kisses. There was no mistaking he had lost weight. Our hands roamed and legs intertwined. It seemed forever and it seemed just seconds before we were broken up by mom's voice calling that dinner was ready.
I almost forgot my glasses as we left my room, only noticing that I was missing them when my view of Toby's face seemed blurry. We walked to the door slowly, each adjusting ourselves in our pants and giggling briefly. We held hands as we started down the stairs, and as we saw no one near the front door, continued to hold hands as we talked at the front door.
"Be sure to call, okay? Even if you can't, okay?" I said too quickly, swinging our linked hands between us.
"Sure. Let'cha know when I get there. Hope I can. Only reason I came up! Not just the sex, you!"
"I wouldn't care if we were eunuchs! Well, I would, I guess," I giggled. Oh my god! I don't fucking giggle! What the fuck? I thought. I hurried onward, saying, "Why didn't you call before you came up? Still got my number?"
"Sure do. Dunno, just didn't. Call t'night, 'kay?"
"Be waiting," I said.
Toby looked over my shoulder, as if searching for something, before he leaned forward and kissed me. I smiled and giggled again at the first time I had been kissed this close to my parents, feeling very unlike myself.
"Later," Toby said, smiling and turning away, letting go of my hands.
"Later," I replied, then "I love you," I whispered far too late for Toby to hear before closing the door.
I was floating on a biological chemical high. I felt my heart racing, my breath coming fast, my skin felt prickly and I was light-headed: And as horny as I could remember ever feeling.
Why the fuck did I giggle like that! That was so fucking not me! But damn! I was serious about the eunuch thing. If he had nothing and I had nothing, I'd love him all the same.
Did I just... I did! I do! I do love Toby! Damn!
I love Toby! I love Toby! I love TOOOOBY!
It became a singsong, over and over in my head, all the way up the stairs. Only once I placed my first foot over the threshold of my bedroom did I remember that dinner was waiting downstairs, and I realized how 'school-girly' I had just been acting.
Oh, fuck it! I love Toby. I always kinda knew that. So deal, get serious, and don't gush like a chick in front of the 'rents! Don't bug on it. Now, down to dinner!
I did my best military one-eighty and stood at attention, fighting the smile off my face. I knew it wasn't going to happen, so I marched down the stairs to the beat of 'I loooove Tooooby' in my head the entire way to the table. Sitting through dinner, waiting for the phone to ring was excruciating. I asked my folks if Toby and I could stay over back and forth for a week. They were fine with it, as long as Toby's parents agreed.
Our parents had all met last summer, before Toby's parents would allow him to stay somewhere away from his aunt's house. We were all invited over for a cookout to get acquainted. Everything had gone well, the dads hitting it off after talking politics, and the moms getting along right off. Toby and I were allowed to stay back and forth at each other's homes the remainder of Toby's vacation last summer. I was hoping the same thing would happen this summer. I wished it would be much longer than a single week.
This week I could easily spend entirely with Toby. Everyone was busy, anyway, or out of town, so spending all my time with Toby would be simple. If he stayed longer than that, it would be awkward, at the least. I could easily introduce him to my friends that hadn't met him yet, no big deal, but hiding how I felt for him would be impossible, and I knew it. I had barely managed last summer, and I knew that my friends were not as innocent as they were, and that they would figure Toby and I out.
My feelings for Tom wouldn't be a problem at all, and Tom already knew a lot more about me and Toby than I wanted him to. I was never able to hide big things from him, and Toby was the biggest thing ever. I liked Tom more than just friends, as I did Jeff. I spent far more time with Tom, who lived almost next door, than with Jeff, who lived miles away, but I felt far more for Jeff.
My feelings for Jeff were confusing and troublesome. I often felt that I knew I was in love with Jeff. Comparing him to Toby proved there were such similar depths of feeling that it was almost the same. During the last few months, as any chance of seeing Toby had melted away, I had let myself explore the opportunities with Jeff, or at least fantasize about doing so. We had jacked each other off several times, but nothing more. Jeff seemed very unlikely to ever be willing to do more, so I had never pushed. I was firmly committed to keeping as close to Jeff as he wanted, but not letting on that I wanted so much more, let alone that I was gay. Jeff was willing to mess around once in a while, but that was all. As religious as he had been brought up, anything more was clearly impossible. Tom was saying more often that he thought Jeff would welcome an advance from me, sexually. I knew he was wrong, so I had not done anything toward that end. I was happy keeping Jeff as a friend, instead of jeopardizing that for a slim chance that a dream could come true.
Now that Toby was back, even for just a week this time, I felt guilty about Jeff, Tom, and the others. I was sure Toby would have messed around with someone where he lived; he was far too cute to not have other guys hitting on him. His personal life was always a closed topic, except the few things he described willingly. I knew little of his previous sex life, having never asked or been very curious. I only cared that I had him, that he wanted me, and that we were together. Before was irrelevant.
When the phone rang, I jumped up to get it. Toby quickly and breathlessly informed me that my parents and I were invited to a cookout again, like last year, and that it was fine for us to stay at either house any night; just so long as all the parents knew which house to expect us to be at. We agreed I would ride my bike over there for tonight. I would bring the Atari and some games, and we could hook it up to the television in the bedroom Toby was using. He said that there was a stereo with a cassette and eight-track, and a VHS player in the room this year, so I said I would bring some cassettes and some of the new movies I had.
The moms wanted to speak to each other, so we handed the phones over to them. My mom laughed and smiled a lot, so that took care of any worries, and I began to eat with vigor. I heard her agree to the cookout and cards afterward. She said her goodbyes and handed me the phone to hang up.
"Guess we won't be seeing much of you for a week, will we, dad?"
"Probably not. You and Toby got to be good friends, didn't you, son?" dad asked.
"Yeah. He's neat," I said offhandedly as I sat back down and continued to tear though the meal, not caring to reveal any more information.
The rest of dinner went quietly, and directly afterwards I rushed upstairs to pack the Atari and games, a few books, a couple special magazines, some cassettes, a couple of movies, and some clean clothes into my big pack. I carried the pack into the bathroom and packed a few things from there, then I stood in the center of the room going down a checklist in my head, guts churning and legs tingling. I went to the corner of the room, raised the beanbag chair, and got the stash of weed and papers. Now certain that I had everything I could want or need for the night, I ran downstairs, yelled bye to the folks, then rode double-time around the block to the white mansion up the street. The best features of my bike served me well; streets can take too long.
The summer weather was perfect! The deep blue sky was broken only in a few places by puffy white clouds. The bright yellow sun shone down, warming every inch of me it touched. It was hot, but not humid, and a nice breeze blew constantly from the east, off the lake. It was a perfect summer day. The only walls between me and the mansion were the ones around the big, castle style mansion with the dogs. The walls were only six feet, but that was taller than my eyes. Standing on the seat of the bike, I failed to see the dogs. I threw the bike over, followed it, then rode like the wind across the lawn. At the other wall, bike first, then myself. The dogs came running, but far too late. I guessed someone saw me and released them. As usual. The rest of the ride was a snap, only a thin strip of forest preserve to cut through then I was across the street from my target.
Once at the somewhat familiar gates, they were open and I could see two cars in the long, curved drive in front of the large house. One was a new Audi, the other an old Suburban with Georgia plates. My heart sent a pang through my chest when I saw the familiar old truck, still mud-spattered and looking quite bedraggled. I wondered how much of that mud was still there from last summer as I rode between it and the tall hedges.
I put my bike against the big column to the right of the door, shrugged my pack onto my left shoulder, and rang the doorbell with my right hand. Toby tore the door open in seconds, wearing a huge smile that melted me where I stood.
"Come on!" he said, pulling me inside by the strap on my pack. "Folks want to say hi," he said, leading the way through a long, wide hallway of polished woods and brass accents. About four rooms back, we turned left and entered a large room with wood everywhere and dark brown furniture spaced all around it. Four different couches surrounded a huge, low, wooden table with brass sculptures of animals on it. More brass animals were placed on other surfaces around the room.
Sitting on two of the couches, near each other, were Toby's parents and his aunt. They were all in their forties, smiling, as Toby dragged me in by the pack strap across my chest.
"Well, hello again Alex. Nice to see you again. How have you been?" Toby's aunt asked in a manner I didn't expect.
Toby's aunt had been openly rude to me last summer. Her dark eyes had always seemed cold and distant, never meeting mine except to glare, and her voice was always impatient with me, as if I hadn't moved fast enough to do what she hadn't even asked me to do yet. That her sharp features seemed so bare and exposed, only added to her crony-like image. But now, her eyes were soft, even welcoming as they met mine. Her hair had changed, was now a dark blonde, almost honey color, and much longer, just touching her shoulders with curls throughout. She was definitely more attractive, and less cold seeming by far. She smiled at me nicely, only confusing me more.
Both of Toby's parents said hi in their thick, backwoods, Georgia accents, and asked how I was doing in their genial way; same as last summer, but perhaps a bit exaggeratedly. His father's rough complexion and round, heavy face seemed impossibly related to Toby's. He even had dark brown eyes, again so different from Toby. Toby looked very little like his redheaded mother either, with her round, soft face. Even her eyes weren't green, I noticed as I met the blue of hers. While Toby's dad was heavy, even a bit jowly, his mother was thin, almost skinny. How Toby came to be from those two, I never understood.
We all exchanged hellos and discussed sleeping over at both houses. They simply wanted to know where Toby would be each night, and it would be fine. Excused to go 'play', Toby and I turned to leave, and Toby once again took my pack strap in hand, practically dragging me along behind him.
As we neared the doorway, Toby's dad said, "Don't be gone too long 'round town. We don't know where to look for ya or anythin',"
"We can't go far on foot," Toby said over his shoulder in exasperation, still dragging me along.
"Oh, we forgot, didn't we?" Toby's aunt said, seemingly surprised.
"Your aunt got ya a bike for you t'ride this summer. It's outt'n the garage," his father said, smiling.
"What? Cool! Thanks Aunt Barb!" Toby said, changing direction now toward the garage, whipping me around behind him onto the new heading like a tethered barge.
"No takin' Toby too far away for too long!" his dad yelled, apparently at me, as we flew by the wide double doors to the room again.
"No problem!" I yelled back, just as I was pulled past the doorway.
Once upstairs after examining the bike, I put the pack down near the television and bent over it. I was lifting out the Atari, saying, "I got some new games for it. Should we hook it up now or la-"
I was answered by the feeling of Toby's hands going around my hips, and Toby's crotch impacting against my ass.
"-ter, I guess," I said, dropping the new Atari back into the pack.
I stood and turned to face Toby. His light blond, almost white hair was short and nearly a buzz cut, his pink scalp visible under it. I placed my right palm against his smooth, cool cheek and moved it upward to circle his ear with fingertips, then down his neck to his chest. I looked into the familiar green eyes under the almost white, fine brows and felt safe, loved and accepted. Toby had both hands on my jaw, lightly caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.
"It's been so long!" Toby moaned in his sweet, Georgia accent.
"Way too long, Tobes!" I said, loving to say the name.
We stood, just holding each other that way for long moments, enjoying the first closeness in a year. A long, long year.
"You know I wanna take ma'time, don't'cha?" Toby asked.
"I love taking our time," I said, leaning into Toby's embrace.
We moved closer, placing our arms around each other. My head rested just so on Toby's left shoulder, nearly the same as last year, but my chin reached all the way over Toby's now bony shoulder. Toby put his right hand on my head and pulled me in tighter. Toby's left hand went up and down my back under the shirt, comfortingly, lovingly.
I wanted to purr. I moved my hands in alternating up and down strokes along Toby's back, shoulders, and sides. I could feel his hard cock behind his zipper at it pressed against my groin, just above my own erection. His cologne, which he refused to name last summer, again filled my nose with its wonderful aroma. I could smell him under it, though, and it was even more pleasant.
Toby's hands ran up and down my sides, under the shirt, from armpit to pants waist. I moaned soft yeses as Toby's hands curved around my ribcage, making me tingle inside as well as where he touched, nearly squirming. Soon his hands came to my front and found my nipples. Toby's fingers rolled over them, pinched them and played with them gently. Waves of pleasure rolled up from my toes, my groin, the base of my skull, all through me.
"Let's sit, huh?" Toby asked, breathing deeply.
"Sure. Go sit. I'll get some stuff ready," I said, slowly and reluctantly releasing the embrace of a lifetime.
"Ya got some?"
"Fuck yeah!" I exclaimed, looking up into the green fields of passion that were his eyes. "You didn't think I'd forget, did ya?"
"Ya get it fer me or did'ya have it?"
"I always have it. How could I get it already? I mean I got an excellent dealer, and he lets me use credit when I want to, but I didn't exactly have any time to go get any, now did I?" I asked.
Then I remembered the one thing that I always forgot about Toby; he was drop-dead fucking cute, funny, sweet, loving, horny, well hung, but he was slow. Not actually dumb, he just picked up on things slower, and needed help seeing things sometimes. He probably hadn't even thought about how I didn't have any time to go get pot if I hadn't already had it. But then, he didn't know how far it was to get any, either.
I wonder if I should tell him about Tim? Tom? Or the others? Why? Fuck it. They don't mean anything like what he means. If Toby was here full time, I would never so much as look at any of others.
While fighting a raging erection, I cleaned and rolled two joints as Toby finished hooking up the video game and closed the door, saying the situation was the same as last year. This room was way out of the way and had an intercom, so there was no way anyone would come bother us.
I remembered how last summer we had not once been bothered in this room, and I wondered why we didn't stay here the entire time last summer; just hidden away, the two of us. Tom and the rest of the guys, I realized.
And that would keep it from happening this year too, I thought sadly. Or would it? Tom and Jeff and Todd and Jon are all gone for the week! Eric and the twins rarely come over, only for the Friday night Circle meetings! We could be here, in our own room, alone, with each other, all week!
I thought I was about to pass out! My breath caught and my heart hammered in my chest. I could feel it's beat in my temples, my neck, my groin.
"Tobes?" My voice was shaky.
"Yeah?" he replied as he locked the door.
"We don't have to leave this room!" I said in a nearly awed tone.
Toby cocked his head; there was nothing else nearly as cute.
"I don't have to go home but maybe once in a while. We got a bathroom. We could sneak stuff up here at night, not even have to go down for meals!"
Toby had been walking toward the bed and me, was not yet half way when he stopped and said, "I haf'ta eat with 'em. We always do. But you can come join us. That's the only times I'm even gonna let you leave this room!"
Toby's patented sexy grin suddenly appeared during the end of his words, making me grin widely in kind.
Toby sat next to me and pointed to my t-shirt, asking, "What the fuck is The Insane Coho Lips Anti-Disco Army?" before he lit the joint.
I laughed, and as we got high, I filled him in on the anti-disco movement that a local Chicago D.J. had started. I told him about the crusade to stamp out the evil of disco, and how a riot had occurred at Comiskey Field during a double-header game with Detroit when the The Insane Coho Lips Anti-Disco Army had led a song against disco between games. I also told him how that D.J. had lost his job at the station we had listened to last summer when he had visited because of it. I got up and turned the stereo on and tuned it to the new music station that D.J. now worked at, just in time for the start of '69 Love Affair.
"Awesome tune!" Toby said in response.
"You gotta come to The Circle meeting Friday night," I said, sitting next to Toby as we smoked the joint and swayed side to side with the song, bumping each other constantly.
"You guys still hangin' t'gether?"
"Yeah," I said, then exhaled before I continued, "Tom and his brother, and Jeff and his brother won't be there, but I guess Eric and the twins will."
"Who?"
"Yeah, we had some new guys since last summer. No prob, you'll meet them Friday when you come over."
"Still go 'round t'each other's houses?" Toby asked, the one leaking smoke around his words.
"Yeah. The twins' place this week. They live in another mansion a few blocks away. Okay guys. And they got tons of shit to do!"
"Rich kids?"
"Yup. But good guys. You'll see."
"Nuttin' better to do, is there?" Toby asked, exhaling, his grin and mischievous eyes hinting that there was indeed something much better to do.
"Get your license yet?"
"Yeah. Ain't got no car, though. I did drive a lot on the way up!"
"Cool! I can't wait to get my license next year!" I said excitedly.
"Maybe your parents'll get ya a car, huh?" Toby asked as he took possession of the joint.
"Pffft, as if," I choked slowly while holding the rest of my hit. After a pause I continued, "They're always bitching about how much it costs to live here and how they barely make ends meet. I won't be getting no car. At least not right away. Be lucky if they let me drive their car!"
"Yeah. I wish I had a car," Toby said around his hit, growing serious.
"Where would you go first?"
"Anywhere. Anywhere but home. Ever."
Toby suddenly seemed gloomy again, and his smile faded quickly.
"Why? What's so bad about home?" I asked, wondering what was back there that could change his mood so much so quickly.
"Just shut up 'n smoke the joint, would'ya?"
I wanted to question Toby further, maybe find out what the problem was, but I recognized Toby's tone; it meant he wasn't going to talk about it now.
Later, maybe, I promised myself as we finished the joint in relative silence, singing to the radio.
I let my mind ponder the good points; Toby was back, he still felt something for me, and he was horny. In fact, he even said, 'you was the only reason I came up'.
I had wished and hoped, in the far back of my mind, ever since he had left that Toby would come again, but it was a vain hope, I knew. Or thought I knew. From the second that Toby had came up the stairs, I had felt the old feelings rush back. Sitting on the bed with him, getting high, and talking about nothing in particular between songs on the radio, I felt them burning as strong as ever.
A phone call months ago had dashed those hopes, when Toby had called and said that his parents weren't going on a vacation over the summer. I had been visibly depressed, Tom making comments on my mood quite often for several days. I had said that it was nothing and not to worry about it. I would force a smile and continue the day. Tom knew about Toby, I had mentioned him enough, in enough embarrassing ways. I still hadn't spelled it out for him, but even then, I sort of knew that he knew.
And what do I do about Tom, now? And trying with Jeff? How do I feel about Jeff now? Toby's back. And what about Eric? Would Toby even want to know? Did Toby not have sex with anyone when he was back home? Would it matter to me? Sex with the guys wasn't like sex with Toby, at all. And I didn't know Toby would be back! I thought I knew he wouldn't be!
But Toby is here, right now. And there seems to be something wrong. He's too thin and he isn't the same merry prankster I remembered. By now, Toby should have cracked about a dozen bad jokes, I thought, tossing the roach onto the game box.
As I leaned back, Toby placed his hand on my thigh and looked into my eyes. I felt the connection between us as Toby smiled that smile I called his 'cute sexy grin'. I grinned back uncontrollably.
We leaned toward each other and kissed. My hands again roamed the familiar yet strange contours of his body. Toby laid us back on the bed with his legs draped over mine. Both of us started breathing heavily, and soon shoes were kicked off, legs twined together as we continued to enjoy the long-missed joy of kissing each other like lovers.
Toby's hands rolled up my stomach, pushing my shirt over my head. He threw it over the bed somewhere. I returned the actions and then immediately found the button on Toby's jeans. I opened it, unzipped the fly, and let my hand go around Toby's waist and up the now concave flank. I slid my face down Toby's neck and chest, stopping to lick and kiss both nipples. I slid my right hand over Toby's head and played with his too-short hair as my left hand slid down to Toby's crotch. All the while, I kissed and licked Toby's nipples in turns.
Toby placed his right hand on my head to run his fingers through my long hair as his left hand slid down my back, sending tingles all along my spine.
"I like your hair long, Al. It's such a cool color, too. Like, cinnamon 'n chocolate."
I felt stupid, being complimented for my terrible hair. I knew it was too long, and the curls that started when it got so long were a pain beside looking dumb. I'd heard my hair called cinnamon before, and shit brown, even burnt turd brown, but never so sensually as cinnamon and chocolate. Maybe it was just that Toby had said it, and when he had said it, but the phrase was welcomed and beloved instantly.
I moved my face further down Toby's slender form to his tummy, placing kisses there and following the faint, light treasure trail south. I pushed open the fly of Toby's jeans with my nose and tongue, then nuzzled the cock through the blue briefs. I felt the heat coming from Toby's groin, and as it rose it brought his scent with it. I breathed deeply of the long missed aroma.
Toby had a smell I could never describe adequately; it was earthy, manly, not strong, never unpleasant, and it triggered something in me, deep in me. I nearly panted over the heat rising from Toby, afraid to expose it to the outside air and weaken the sensation of it.
Finally, though, I had to pull the jeans downward and get closer to Toby's manhood. My hands pulled the jeans from the sides and Toby lifted. Once they were off and on the floor, I saw even clearer how thin he had become. His legs were as skinny as the rest of him, no softness or fullness to them, no muscle tone. His hipbones were almost visible and his knees were knobby.
I ran my hands up those long, slender legs until I came to the soft material of his blue briefs and wrapped my left hand around the long, hard cock in them. I lay with my right cheek against the pale skin of Toby's stomach, just above the briefs, as my right hand now toyed with Toby's nipples behind my head.
Toby stroked my right arm from shoulder to wrist. I tapped the tip of the hard cock with my nose, eliciting a twitch from it and a gasp from above. A sudden wet spot appeared there, and the musky smell of his pre-cum filled my nose.
I kissed and tongued the soft, thin hair above the waistband of the shorts as my fingers traced the outline of Toby's penis through the soft shorts.
"I love how you feel in these," I said softly, rubbing and cupping him through them.
"Why do you think I wore 'em?"
"Really? You remembered?" I asked, shocked.
"Yeah. You said it every time I wore 'em! I got a few more pairs, too, in other colors."
His stomach bounced with his light laughter, making my head bob on it like a little boat in a storm.
"Cool! I can't wait," I said, nibbling at the head through the briefs as soon as I could, causing Toby to writhe and gasp in pleasure.
I pulled the leg band of his shorts away from his leg and helped his balls to fall out. They were never large, but they were incredibly nice. His sack was a dark pink, only barely covered with faint, light blond hair. I pulled the band a bit more, and then positioned it so that his balls would remain free. I lifted the balls in their sack and massaged and fondled them as I kissed the underside of Toby's rigid shaft through the soft, blue material. I passed over the damp patch and inhaled deeply. The strong odor of Toby's pre-cum sent chills through me. My left hand let go of his balls and pulled the waistband down far enough to slip my lips over the slender head and down to the faint, rounded edges. Toby inhaled sharply as I licked the tip with my tongue and sucked softly without moving, my lips around the back of the long, narrow head. I tasted Toby's pre-cum as I teased it out of the small hole in the tip. When I was sure that I had all there was, I let the cock fall from my lips and let go of the waistband, letting it snap back loudly against his cock and lower belly.
"OOOO!" he exclaimed, snapping upward to a half-sitting position.
"Not quite yet," I teased, going back up for more kisses, but keeping my left hand quite busy rolling his balls around in their small sack, or running up and down the length of his pounding cock.
"Don't half t'be that slow," Toby replied before our lips met.
I wanted to stretch it out. He was ready to blow any time, I could tell by how hard it was, and how much it throbbed and reacted to my touch. My own cock swelled and pulsed from time to time, threatening to shoot off anyway if I didn't pay it some attention, or get Toby to.
"It's been a year, Toby, so you just wait a bit," I advised him as I headed back south after a long kissing session, my hand still working on him. "You ain't coming for a while."
"Who says I'm gonna need a while?" Toby replied with a laugh.
" 'Cause I'm gonna make it take a while," I informed him as I squeezed his balls firmly with my left hand again, and as I slid my other hand under the waistband of his shorts.
My fingers went under the heat of his cock, combing through the pubic hair. When my thumb and first finger came to the base, I lifted it, pushing it up against the briefs. The head was forced to raise the waistband by the grip I had around the base.
Toby sighed a soft, "Oooh," at the pleasure of the pressure.
His cock was too long and pushed the waistband down as if it were a raising ramp. I pulled it the rest of the way down with my left hand and pushed it down under Toby's balls, letting them lay on top of the material. I put my fingers back around Toby's balls and rolled them around on the tightly stretched blue shorts.
Toby's dick was as pale as the rest of him, a matching, light flesh color on the bottom two-thirds, and a darker area behind the head that was pink, almost red. The head was entirely a soft pink and an elongated cone, like a missile. The edges at the back of the head didn't turn outward; they just stopped and curved inward. The head was only slightly wider than the long, straight shaft. It was the most aerodynamic penis I had ever seen. There was a long, loose foreskin when not hard, but none when it stretched out to it's almost seven-inches-long ready state.
It's grown something near an inch since last summer, and it's thicker and heavier, I noted, pleased. It's got to be seven inches, and it really looks like an intercontinental ballistic missile. A pale pink, light red, and white one. A love missile! And his bush is nearly white, it's so pale of a strawberry blond now. He must have bleached it too! No way! That would have to hurt! The hair is so light and thin that the pink skin under the hair is visible. It looks so like the white exhaust cloud of a rocket launching, especially from above with the long cock pointed at me. So cool!
And that sack is so pink! The darkest skin anywhere on him! It's almost scarlet from where the sack separates from his body, it just suddenly gets dark pink. And it doesn't' hang far, but his nice balls make it seem like it does. And they grew some too! No one has ever been so hot!
I licked up and down the bottom of Toby's missile, keeping the balls in play at all times, and eventually let my lips close over the long, pointed, pink head. Toby moaned immediately and began pushing his hips up to meet my mouth. We had worked out this method late last summer, perfecting it for the both of us. I loved a loose grip and varying suction and lots of tongue on my cock. Toby liked a firm grip and a wet mouth to fuck, just suction and lips at times, but most especially as he came.
Toby rocked his hips up and down slowly as I held his dick firmly, making the skin move over the hard core. I kept my fist just off my lips and held my head steady, letting Toby go as far or as shallow past my fist and into my lips and mouth as he liked, when he liked.
At first, Toby mostly fucked my fist, from time to time pushing up far enough to get a little suction and get it wet. He would drop again and occasionally mutter instructions such as tighter or looser between his moans and groans. It wasn't long before Toby reached over and under me to rub me. Soon he made it clear he wanted to get his own mouth to my erection.
I sat up, trying not to move the fist Toby was fucking, arranging so that we could sixty-nine. Toby's shorts were still between his balls and his thighs. He opened my jeans and removed them and my shorts expertly. His hot mouth and lips locked over my cock and the waves of his suction began rolling through it. We both lay on our sides facing each other as our hips thrust and our heads bobbed.
For a while we went crazy, but soon we took it slower, at some point remembering to slow down and take some time. We would keep our off-hands busy with butts or balls as we fucked each other's fists and mouths. When I was circling around Toby's back hole with a finger, Toby suddenly grabbed my hand and moved it back to his cheeks.
Toby stopped sucking my cock and cleared his throat, then said, "Not there yet, 'kay? I don't like that...right now."
I was puzzled. Last summer Toby loved having his tender, sensitive, pink hole played with. And I loved being down there. Like the rest of him, it was lightly haired in faint, strawbery-blond hairs, and all pink in between. It was the best ass I had ever seen, in person or in magazines. It had taken what seemed hours before I could get my pounding erection past that tight hole. After that, it was Toby's favorite thing after a blowjob. He loved to bottom as much as top, which worked well with my similar taste to swap positions.
But if he don't like it now, I guess I can deal with that, I thought. As long as he's still willing to do it the other way! I'll find out sooner or later!
"Jus' this f'right now, 'kay?" Toby asked.
"Sure thing with me," I said softly and returned to Toby's tool.
I wasn't in any rush to do anything in particular. Anything that I did with Toby was fine with me. Toby returned the motions as we practiced oral skills with each other. We fucked each other's mouths, keeping to a slow, restrained beat as long as the radio cooperated. We preferred the loving, slow, tender approach, and we used it this first time together again.
After nearly half an hour, I could not stop myself again. I had already put off three times by saying I was close and backing off for a while. I returned the favor the three times now that Toby had made a similar statement. You Can Do Magic, still brand new, was playing, and we were into the beat, and it was only half over.
But I couldn't have held off this one if I had too. We were sweating and breathing fast and hard. We were completely nude but for our socks. We were still slowly fucking each other's mouths, when I pulled my mouth off the long, pink missile and said breathlessly, "Dude, I can't stop it!"
A deep tingling had long ago begun in my groin, something new. It was like when I had stretched out over a horizontal pole at the playground before I had moved. It was a simple bar, one of two parallel ones over sawdust. I found that by leaning up against it and then over it, balancing myself across the bar with it just above my groin, it caused the nicest tingling and pressure. I had never been able to recreate it, and lost that particular pleasure after I had moved. Here it was now, or a sensation very much like it, and it was incredibly more pleasurable, and growing stronger.
Toby pushed me deeper into his mouth with the hand on, and the finger in, my ass. I pushed forward into Toby's mouth, accepting the constant suction as necessary, since I had to push. There was no way not to. My hips and back took over, it didn't matter what my mind wanted. The intense pulses inside my body focused in my groin as Toby rubbed the right spot inside me in measured time. It almost hurt!
As the first waves rolled over me, I gasped out a loud, "Aawww!" around his wonderful cock. I tensed again immediately, thrusting back into Toby's mouth, my hole clenching around his strobing finger as a nearly painful orgasm pushed its way through my cock. My body was out of my control, and my mind wasn't even able to focus on that fact. All that mattered was the overwhelming orgasm with Toby. I gasped again as wave two hit. Toby slid his mouth further over my ejaculating cock, and along with his finger massaging inside... "Ohholyshit!" I groaned out and seemed to pulsate rapidly from head to toe for long seconds. "Ohgawdohgawdohgawd," endlessly forced its way past my lips as my body seemed to empty itself into my testicles and then through my cock. It seemed as if all of the fluids in my body were being converted to semen and immediately supplied for the endless orgasm. The muscles and glands between my legs throbbed with the efforts. The muscles nearby grew weak from the lack of nutrients being stolen and rushed to my furiously functioning organs.
The convulsions of my anus around Toby's wriggling finger fought with the waves of semen firing from my erection for dominance of my senses. My tongue and lips, mouth and nose sent the sensations of having Toby's cock there to my mind, but they were lost in the maelstrom. Toby's tongue roaming over my now over-sensitive head snapped my attention to one sensation.
"Oh stop!" I cried, begging for the pleasure to end before I lost my mind.
Around licking and softly sucking my cock clean, Toby asked softly, "As good as it seemed?"
"Oh, gawd, yes!" I crooned, shivering and tingling all over my body.
Toby's lips slid softly down my cock, and he sucked it as he slid back up, setting my cock quivering in the warmth of his mouth. He pulled back carefully and gave it a kiss on the tip in parting which set it bouncing in an overly-sensitive reaction.
I returned to his cock as soon as I had answered him, my willingness and desire to perform on him undiminished after my own orgasm; as was usual for me. With Toby, that was even more noticeable. While I was always willing, often very eager, to finish someone else if I had finished first, with Toby, it was as if I had not truly finished until he had.
His cock was hot as my fingers took firm hold, and my lips tightened around the familiar shape of his head. He was poundingly hard, and not far from his own orgasm. I slowed, carefully giving enough sensations to keep him immediately hot, but not enough to hurry his orgasm. My lips gently slid up and down his shaft, my hand holding the base, and thereby his hips, stationary. He complied as I gently sucked him, only my lips touching his cock. I bobbed slowly, sucking softly. He shivered and moaned, sighing often.
He continued to play with my cock and balls very gently. One finger slid between my legs and searched around my hole again. I remembered his prohibition on my own fingers around his, so I massaged his balls gently with my free hand.
"Alex, oh shit, not long!" he moaned into my bush and over my still semi-erect cock.
I stopped sucking and instead slid my fist smoothly up and down his shaft, never touching his corona or head. After a few strokes like that he moaned and pushed into my fist. He shivered, and as his head exited my fist, my soft, wet lips were ready. I took him in, let him push deep into my mouth as I licked the top of his head with my tongue, forcing the underside of his head against the roof of my mouth, and sucking firmly.
"Alex, gawd, now!"
But I already knew; the familiar signs had been there once I clamped down on him with my mouth. His long cock warped from tip to base, as if a wave rolled through it, telling me it was time. A generous amount of salty pre-cum was forced out the small hole in the center of the tip and the head swelled between my tongue and the roof of my mouth.
I kept myself in position, stationary, letting Toby dictate what happened. His legs straightened and he pushed in, further, all the way. I had to keep my fist up in front of my mouth or Toby would have shoved the whole thing in, gagging me; it was too long for me to take deep for more than a couple of seconds. I let my hand relax somewhat, letting in as much of Toby's cock as I could manage, knowing a flood of cum was about to charge out of it. One hand on his balls, the other keeping Toby's long cock from gagging me, I felt Toby's body working toward climax.
With another thrust of his hips, a grunt of "Ohhh!", and a pulsing wave through his cock, Toby came. He squeezed my balls even as I squeezed his. The head of Toby's cock swelled as it slid over the back of my tongue, and the cum went so far back that I couldn't taste it right away. I tried not to swallow yet, and the second shot arrived while Toby gasped loudly and jerked deeper. I knew this one too was too far back to taste, too. I even felt it strike the back of my throat! He pulled backward a bit and then the third wave came, and I had to push a bit of the long, hard cock out with my fist. Toby's wasn't having it. He pushed harder, and I had to swallow what he already had shot as the long cock went deeper than it had so far. Another wave ran through it, and another shot of his hot cum slammed against the back of my mouth. The fourth ripple ran down the long cock and the head swelled as a Toby's semen came. Toby pulled out further this time, and I tasted his cum. The familiar feel and taste rolled in my mouth as Toby pushed back in.
"Oh gawd that's goo-oo-oo-od!" Toby crooned, pushing in and holding as his last ripples of release rolled through him. "Oh, yeah, that's great!" Toby squaled as I swallowed the final shots and flicked my tongue over the tiny exit in the extreme tip of the long, narrow head.
That was what I wanted to hear. That, and to feel his body jerking under me as I teased the sensitive post-orgasm head with my lips and tongue. My hand was still around the long, wet, sticky cock, my other relaxed and squeezed both of those lovely acorns of Toby's as they lay up tightly to his groin. My other hand began to swing Toby's cock in small arcs ending against his bush on one end, against my cheek at the other end.
"Oh, fuck, and I was worried it would be different!" Toby exclaimed in a huff of hot breath over my own sensitive parts.
"I'm glad it wasn't," seemed safe to say.
Toby's statement confused me quite a bit. I wondered just why Toby had been worried that the sex would be so different. And I wondered just what kind of difference he had expected. But more, why?
"Me too. I'm so glad," Toby said, sitting up and coming down to kiss me firmly.
We tasted each other's and our own cum, mixing the flavors between our mouths. Still breathing rapidly, Toby curled over me the way we had late last summer. He flung his left leg over both of my legs, and his left arm over my chest, playing with my right nipple. He was always taller, so he could bend as he did so, and we would end up face-to-face, crotch-to-crotch. Now, Toby and I were almost the same height, and it didn't work quite as well, but neither of us seemed to care; we just settled into the new, slightly less familiar angles.
As we lay there in each other's arms, I realized how much I had missed this part of my time with Toby. Toby was different than anyone else, I always knew. He was more than the others, without a doubt. By this time I had played around with ten different guys, and none of them had been anything like Toby. We cuddled, we kissed, we stroked gently, and we loved each other.
I had felt it was so the summer previous, but right then I knew it with certainty. We were drowsy, spent, intertwined, and gazing into each other's eyes. We both knew it then. We said it in unison.
"I love you."
We lay like that, naked, sweaty, and happy, on top of the blankets, cuddling and sleepy, until we fell asleep, wrapped in each other's warmth.
*****
Some time during the night, I was woken up by Toby's voice. He was talking in his sleep, right in my ear. He was also panting, and sounded like he was whimpering from time to time. I reached up and put my right arm over Toby to comfort him. As I did, he jolted harshly and woke up immediately.
He looked angry, scared, not like Toby. He swung both arms as if in a fight, and mumbled something before he seemed to realize where he was and calmed down a bit.
"Damn! Toby, you okay? Bad dream?" I asked, afraid to try to touch him again.
"Jus' th' usual." he said, obviously still mostly asleep.
"What about?" I asked, growing worried, slowly trying to place my arm over him.
Toby accepted it, came back down to lay over me, cuddled into me again.
"Don't know. Never 'member," Toby said still sleepily, obviously already going back to sleep.
"Damn, you have those every night?" I asked, running my hand over his short hair as his head rested on my chest.
"Dunno. Mostly, guess. Wake up that way 'lot. Don't 'member th' dream. Go back t'sleep," Toby said softly in my ear as he snuggled up tighter, seeming to relax as he sighed deeply, shuddering twice.
I felt his body relaxing in stages. It was cool in the room, so I managed to throw and pull the blankets to cover us. He cuddled up tighter over me, and I curled a bit onto my side, closer and tighter to him. It wasn't more physically comfortable, but it was far more emotionally comfortable. I couldn't be close enough to him, it seemed. I wished I could hug us together, into one form, right there under the covers.
Our body heat eventually warmed us, and I eventually drifted off, Toby's comforting weight and presence across me a balm against the worry of his nightmare. I was cozy, warm, content, and happy. And in love.
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