Kings Blue

by Rafael Henry

Chapter 7

Joining the circle.

Amsterdam. 2017

It's a quick flight from Gatwick…….about forty five minutes or so. Then I take the train from Schiphol into the city, and then a tram to my stop at Princengraght, then the short stroll northwards to Per's canalside apartment. I'm here for two nights, so I just have one of those bags that count as hand luggage. It's quicker and very convenient. We haven't really kept in touch over the years, but you can imagine my surprise and pleasure when his email popped up in my inbox. At the end of his message was a telephone number, along with a request that I use it. It would be nice to catch up, and that Amsterdam and the Jordaan district was very pleasant in winter time. Included in the text of his message, discretely, was some personal information. He is married, to a woman, and they have a school age son. He attached a recent photo of the three of them, and a second photo taken on a beach holiday somewhere, last year. The weird thing is that the boy looks so much like his father did at that age. It's quite uncanny, and by accident or design, his name is Leo…….but, as he was careful to point out, pronounced Lay-oh, not Lee-oh. His white blond wife works for KLM.

His voice has deepened of course, but it was definitely him if you get my drift. The upshot of the conversation was an arrangement for me to visit Amsterdam. If I chose a weekend in January, the shop would not be busy, and he would have time to show me around the place. I suggested two weekends. He said the second date would suit him better, as his wife and son would be elsewhere visiting Grandparents. I could always meet Elise and Finn another time. He would email precise instructions as to his location, which he did later that day.

When he opened the door and greeted me, it was if the past twenty odd years had not existed. He's exactly the same, only older of course. I walked up and put my arms around him, as I felt his arms tighten around my shoulders. I'm close to tears. We let each other go, and there's a few feet between us.

'No sexy shorts today then Per?' I joke.

'No, sadly…….not today. Too cold.'

Per is in the antiques business, so you can imagine what his house looks like. I love the tall windows and the sheer elegance of an Amsterdam canal house. They only had the lower half of it, but I was impressed. He showed me round including their very sumptuous bedroom, with a view out onto the small formal garden at the back.

'This is your room Leo.'

'Really? I thought it was your bedroom?'

'It is. We are not quite the same thing Leo, you and me, but it is still a possibility for me. Not the main dish, if you see what I mean, but perfectly possible for me…….and you are a special case Leo.'

He said he wanted to make that clear as soon as I arrived. We would sleep together. We could talk until we fell asleep……all night if necessary. Of course I agreed. It also raised a few questions, at least in my mind.

I paid for our dinner which we took at a barge restaurant, just for fun. Per filled in all the blanks that I asked him, as I did for him. He knows I'm a gay man, and currently without a partner. As for him, he's married, happily by the sound of it, with a very beautiful son. Thus, we got all the necessary business over…..the rest of our education, university, and the development of careers……all that kind of thing. It's stuff that needs to be shared, but it's not what this meeting is about.

We are sitting in leather armchairs some few feet apart. Per looks at the clock, and I'm nervous and excited. He can see I am. We have exhausted the mundane, and we have a clear picture of each other's lives. I'm waiting.

'So Leo…….are you ok?'

'Yes, fine thanks. A little nervous…….apprehensive I suppose….if I'm honest.'

'Yes, me too. Do you think we'll be alright Leo?'

'Yes, we will be……I'm sure we will.'

Waking from sleep.

It's an awkward moment as we stand close to each other……who touches who first……and then what?

I didn't need to worry. Per smiles and a moment later his hand is on my shoulder, and then the other. Then mine are on his. Suddenly the holding becomes harder and more urgent. Our hands go lower now, and there's a whiff of sex in the room. This is not romance. I want to kiss him, but he moves his mouth sideways and away from me. He doesn't want to. I'm instantly disappointed, but there's so much more to enjoy.

Everything is slower now, and considered. We stand before each, undressed and unashamedly naked. It's a wonderful moment, just before bed.

I think that there are some things a queer man won't do with another of the same persuasion. It just doesn't appeal to him. There are some things that a straight…..ish man will do, very willingly……with a queer man. I suppose that stands to reason. I'm hoping, in bed with my man as I am now, that anything is possible.

'How long was it Leo?'

'Not as long as it is now.' I answer. It's a joke. He's referring to our golden summer so long ago, but burning brightly in our memories at this moment.

'Just under six weeks…..and you were twelve. What did you expect?'

'To be like you of course.'

'You were….more or less. Prettier too. I had something done to me. You hadn't.'

'I liked it……when I first saw it. I liked what it could do. Mine couldn't.'

'And now it can, presumably. Unless your Leo came from elsewhere?'

'No, he came from here.'

He takes my hand, as if to prove his point. It's a natural cue. I'm going to tease him.

'I'm not convinced Per.'

'Would you like me to prove it?'

'I think that would be very appropriate.' I tell him, our faces close but not touching. So close……his breath warm on my lips.

I remember the first time I feel for his penis, as Per feels for mine. Such soft and silky skin. We both looked at each other's as if they had nothing to do with us……alien objects of curiosity…….soon to become fountains of pleasure.

Without warning, Per turns his head and gently bites my shoulder. We had been lying still for a few minutes. It was an enormously erotic gesture.

'That was nice. A little reminder?'

'Umm. Like before?'

'Like the first time. Do you remember?'

'Of course. One finger and your thumb wasn't it?'

'Two actually. I think I'll need five fingers now. May I have the pleasure?'

I propped myself up on one elbow. I wanted to look down on Per. He was looking at me smiling. As I fondle him, he opens his legs a little. I'm pleased about that. The prepuce looks loose, but I don't need to do anything. Anticipating me, Per eases back the skin to reveal his crowning glory.

'That's a first then.' I comment, as the sculpted head is revealed in all its beauty. I can't wait.

'Can we hold on please?' Per asks.

He's remembered. He used to say that. We did a lot of 'holding on'. I lie close to him, my legs touching his, and my face against his ear. I have just a few words for him……nice words……loving words. He turns his head towards mine and at last I feel his lips. My fingers are spread evenly along the length of his erection with the first perfectly placed just below his head to give my lover maximum sensation. Every boy will have his preference.

'Will this suit you Per?'

It's fine, so my slow beginnings gradually quicken.

'Leo………take your time……please.'

I apologize…..weakly.

I stroke his hair. He's gloriously hard, as are his balls. I study the head, looking for signs. There are some.

'Shall I tell you when Leo?'

'No….no need. I'll know anyway.'

How could you not know……a series of short sharp exhalations before ejaculation, and ejaculate he did. I wasn't going to miss it.

'You ok?' I ask.

He nods.


'Yes……..thanks. Now do you believe me?' He says, with that 'it wasn't my fault' look on his face.

'Oh yes. I'm wondering how your wife copes.'

'Look in the drawer Leo….behind you.'

There was a box of Kleenex, several condoms, and a couple of latex gloves, and interestingly, a tube of lubricating gel. I take four tissues from the box, prop myself up, and set about the task of mopping up Per's semen. He's done very nicely. He was obviously very excited. I've had to dab about just under his chin. I remember once, aged about fifteen, I actually managed to get some over my shoulder. That never happened again.'

Job done, I fold the tissues neatly together, and place them behind me. I'm intrigued by what I found in the drawer.

'Do you mind my asking you something Per? The things in the drawer?'

'It's not for her……well, the condoms are, but the rest is for me……and her. We like to explore alternatives.'

'So you get your prostate checked every once in a while do you?' I say jokingly.

In my line of work, we have a little gadget to do that job, not that I haven't had to put a couple of fingers up a good number of bottoms in my time. I have even retrieved objects from very embarrassed teenagers, and of course younger folk. I had never dared to intrude into Per's twelve-year-old internal places, but the reality was never far away. I was knocking at the door, even then.

'You're a bit sticky Leo.'

'That's one of my hidden talents Per.'

'Well you're not hiding it very well at the moment.'

'Sorry. I'll deal with it. Anyway, it's your fault. You shouldn't be such a sexy boy.'

'It's nice. I like it, and I'm ready for you whenever you want….now if you want it? And before you ask, I'm a scared virgin. Are you?'


'How come?'

'The usual way Per. I had a partner for a couple of years.'


'Yes….until it wasn't. You've never been tempted then?'

'Once or twice. Once, a long time ago.' He laughs.

'Really? But that's something boys shouldn't being doing. Not at thirteen.'

'No. But you thought about it….perhaps?'

'It crossed my mind. What made you say that?'

'Those mornings in the garden. When your hands were inside my shorts. One at the front and one at the back. Remember?'

Indeed I do. Per had no objection at the time…….or a little later upstairs. I was never so lucky, but I never asked him.

'I've been meaning to mention it Leo. What happened to that drawing you made of me…….the last one you did?'

'Oh that. I still have it. It won a prize at a local art show, and it got me a job.'


'I entered the drawing for a local art show. One of the artists…….the secretary of the art society asked me to work for him. He took a fancy to me at the view. I'd won a prize for the drawing…….a book……and he took me to a bookshop to choose one. It became very obvious that he liked boys. One thing led to another, and I agreed to model for him.'

'But that's not how you lost your virginity…….I hope?'

'No, but he spent a few hours at very close quarters with a naked thirteen-year old boy. He found it rather exciting. I was enjoying it too, oddly. Once or twice I got a little excited by the occasion, so he asked me if I wanted to relieve the tension I was obviously experiencing, and if I did want to, could he watch me perform. I didn't mind doing that for him, provided that's all it was. I lay down on his bed while he lay next to me. I never looked at him, or what he was doing. A couple of minutes later I felt this warmth on my thigh. Then it all boiled up in me and spilled over. Simple as that. I didn't touch him. One or two of the poses were what you could describe as a little indecent. It was nothing to do with him, but I found those poses a real turn-on. As I say, I enjoyed it, and went back to Dorset the next week with considerably more cash to pay in, than I otherwise would have had.'

'Did you ever see what he'd done?'

'Yes, he showed the drawings to me. It was good work.'

'Did you ever see him again?'


'So when you went back to school, did you see that boy again……..the one you told me about……the boy in the queue?'

'That's was Marcus. He's another story. I thought he might take my mind of you. I was missing your company somewhat.'

'Just my company?'

'No, all of you, especially this thing.'

I haven't let go of him, and I would quite like to rekindle his interest. Unprompted, Per makes a little more room for me, moves my hand, and turns towards me to plant his lips on my cheek…… I reciprocate. His signal is fairly clear.

'Do you want something else Per?' I say, smiling.

'I'd like to give you something now Leo. It's mine to give. It's yours if you would like it.'

'Would you like it?'

He's telling me exactly where he would like my attention focused. I have some experience of this, probably a lot more than he has, and I'm going to do my best for my beautiful friend.

'How long do you think it will take Leo?'

Good question. There are no guarantees……..probably nothing nice at the end of it, but we can but try.

'It's impossible to say. I can hurry it up, but the key to this thing is that you relax. Don't think about the time. The longer the better. This is for you Per.'

It takes me ten minutes to get full access, and so far, he's having a very nice time, and so am I. The 'giving' has been a bit one-sided thus far, but I know that things will even out in time, especially if this works as I want it to. If I can get this right, it will open up entirely new horizons. Per has already come once, but that will make no difference. Right now he is flaccid.

I've been going…maybe five minutes, and my two fingers are applying very gentle pressure on Per's prostate. I can't feel any abnormalities. It's the first thing on my mind. Safety first. The sphincters have relaxed nicely. I'm sure that his wife stimulates him this way. In another five minutes, we might see some progress.

I'm seeing a tiny bead of completely clear and viscous liquid emerging from the meatus now. He's half erect I would say, and going nicely. If I squeeze his hardening penis and work it up from the base, they'll be more of that delicious product. It's his urethra cleaner at work, and his natural lubricant. It's all very cleverly organized. It has a flavour like no other…….so lingering. I can't resist partaking, which produces a sharp gasp of appreciation from my partner in pleasure. There will be more.

I'm fifteen minutes into this project. I'm not used to this, at least not for this long. Per appears to be rather out of it now, so I'm going to move things along, and this will remind him of our glory days. I'm pleased because he's now as a hard as the proverbial rock. It's the perfect moment……this is beautiful sex!

Things look promising now. He's making the right noises, especially after I brought my tongue and mouth into play. I'm across the bed with my head resting on his belly button. I think he's very nearly there. Any moment the contractions will begin. I will keep them going for as long as I can. It is possible. If it is going to happen, and I think it is, Per is one lucky boy.

'Did I come? I have, haven't I?'

'Yes, sweet boy, you certainly have, but not like the last time. This works differently Per. How was it?'

Silly question. My hand and wrist are very tired right now. However, we made it in the end. Per looks exhausted, but he's had a good time, in fact he may still be.

He's looking at his penis. It's still hard which suggests to me that his orgasm may not have completely subsided. He thinks there's semen on it but it's my saliva. He tells me that a dulled climax is still lingering. I'm squeezing a little more lubricant out, and now I'm in him again with two fingers, and quickly find the firm wall of his prostate. I'm sure there's more to come. Lucky lucky boy!

I stopped completely after forty five minutes. He's had enough. But I haven't.

Poor old Per. He's exhausted after our journey down a road he's never known before. Well actually, that's not quite true. I'm looking at him now, fast asleep. It's twenty two years ago, but I can still see him as he was then. I don't know what he's going to say tomorrow morning when he wakes up and remembers what happened this evening. We'll see.

'Morning sleepy head.' I say, as Per gradually 'comes to'. He smiles, gently rubs his eyes and immediately feels for my penis. He finds it and holds it firmly in his hand, giving it gentle squeezes. I stroke his chest. It's remarkably smooth, in fact he has very little or no hair in other places. He has nothing around his anus. I lower my head and plant the softest of kisses on his mouth, and lie back. I want him to take the initiative. Then Per hauls himself up onto one elbow and smiling, has a question for me.

'Thanks Leo.'

'What for?'

'For coming to see me. We had a lovely evening.'

'All of it?'

'Yes, all of it.'

'And the last bit?'

'Best of all. I liked it Leo.'

'Good. I wondered if you would.'

'I did.'

'And how is it this morning? Any after effects?'

'Yes, but nice ones.'

He's still playing with me, but suddenly he breaks off and lies on his back. I've hardened and I know by now that I will be leaking. It can be a curse sometimes……or in certain and sometimes unexpected situations, a large bonus. I push the covers down to look. Per sits up.

'Can I have some please?'

There's an urgency about his expression. I've seen it before….in the garden…..just before I take my boy into the house, and up the stairs to my room.

He draws his knees up and wide apart. His penis lies on his tummy to one side. This will be a good indication.

I'm not going to waste it. It's a natural product of my sexual arousal. It won't be enough, but it's a wonderful way to start things off.

As you may have realised, I have some experience of what I'm about to serve up for Per's enjoyment, hopefully. The way I feel right now, I doubt if I'm going to last two minutes if access goes according to plan. It's condom time, for that reason, and of course for other reasons too. The teatless pinkish latex rolls on nicely, and I stop to check things.

My particular anatomy has a plus and minus. On the plus side, I'm a bit of a slim Jim which makes for a more comfortable journey for my partner. I also curve slightly upwards. On the down side, I'm quite long, which as a schoolboy attracted some unwanted comments from certain persons supervising morning showers. Most of the boys were asleep before I was, so consequently I woke later than them. This meant the rising bell woke me up, usually amid a sexual reverie. Naked, I would grab my dressing gown, and hold it tight to my middle thus controlling the little beast between my slim legs. Downstairs in the changing area, and dressing gown hung up, I make my way to the shower with my bouncing member leading the way, to the amusement of the senior boy supervising. The other boys never commented, indeed one or two of them had the same problem as I very often had. A five minute shower did little to settle things down, thus I often got dressed still erect. But by the time I had my first sight of Marcus's legs in those natty little grey short shorts of his, stretched tight around his pert little bottom, and standing waiting in the breakfast queue, things had normalized.

My first proper partner who shared a room with me at university thirsted for this form of sexual joy, as much as I liked providing it. I know exactly how far to go…….about two and a half inches. That's my target, with strokes that go a beyond and back again. I will have nothing that won't see the darkness.

I'm ready, and so is Per. He's on his back waiting. I surprise him by asking him to sit on top of me. I want him in control. He quickly gets the idea, and it's instantly blissful as my boy eases his way down onto me. Remarkably soon, and to my amazement, I've completely disappeared into him. I'm interested in how his penis is behaving. Nothing much doing. That's fine. What happens later will be the test.

I want him on his back now. The playing has to stop, because I want sex now. I check the teatless end of the condom. There's my own lubricating fluid in there. Perfect. This, sadly, is not going to take long…..certainly not long enough to get Per to the dizzy heights of last night.

It's all so good. I can't control myself.

Five minutes later, I'm apologizing.

'Sorry Per.' I say, resting on his body, breathless.

'Why Leo?'

'I got a little overwhelmed……too quickly. Sorry.'

'But you enjoyed it? I did try.'

Sweet boy. That is so typical of Per. Now I want to wash him in the shower.

We had a small breakfast with a pot of coffee. It's still only eight thirty. It's time. This time it will be different. There will be more time for everything……for as long as it takes. I'm determined for his sake.

There were fifteen minutes, more probably, of Per and I making love, for that is what it is. What we couldn't do before, we can now. What we didn't do before, we are now. What didn't work the last time will work this time.

I'm fucking him, and Per finds his penis, grips it, and begins to work the loose skin up and down it's length. Finally things are happening for him. I've made room for his hand as I thrust half my length into him short of, and just beyond his prostate. The curve of my penis helps. Suddenly he takes his hand away from the pink shaft of his cock. I can see he's leaking. This is it! I wipe some of the fluid from the tip of his cock and bring it to my mouth, whilst continuing to do my job. I think he's nearly there. He doesn't need to masturbate now. It will happen without that. It's driving me mad. I'm lying on him, embedded to the hilt, hurting, two sweating bodies, a painful joy now. My darling darling boy…… sweetest purest joy…….please…..please…….

I've come, and so has he, but he's begging me to go on. I do, for as long as possible….perhaps another three minutes maybe. Then I have to stop. I find myself shrinking but still inside him. Rather than having to extract the condom from Per's bottom by hand, I pull out in time, and slide off the sheath. I hold it up, and wipe it dry with an antiseptic wet wipe. I use a Kleenex to dry my now softened penis. There's already a little semen, or something, on Per's tummy that's his not mine. Per takes the condom from my fingers to examine it. He's squeezes out the contents onto his tummy.

'Why did you do that Per?'

'I want you with me.'

And in conclusion.

I love Amsterdam…….just to wander the length of the canals, stand and stare from its bridges, and to sit in a corner café is a pure delight. We did the museums which in my view are second to none, my very favourite being the revamped Maritime Museum, and its hologram presentations taking one back in time. What a place it must have been at the zenith of the City's Golden Age. It was wonderful just to be with Per. He was so sweet with me, taking my hand from time to time, or putting an arm around me whilst watching a barge make its way slowly along the dark water, reflecting the tall brick houses either side of a canal. The dramas of the previous day had softened and mellowed. We need to take stock now, and to wander and enjoy the winter calm together. In our hearts we knew we had come full circle. We were joined by circumstances ……two boys together……more than twenty years ago. Now the circle begins to form, as we go in opposite directions, and for the circle to be completed here in Amsterdam. Everything is done now. We are complete.


February 2018.

I bought the house which once was occupied by H G Wells, and is next door to Mr Ashton's house cum studio. You might recall that he……….Mr Ashton not Mr Wells……….was the Hon. Sec. of the Folkestone and District Art Society, who was kind enough to employ me, briefly, as his in-house model…..a task which rendered me some satisfaction, and a very nice book about the male human figure. I still have the book and take pleasure in referring to it. It's now quite a rare book, greatly sought after by some, and just the right side of the boundary of legality. The house looks out onto Hythe beach, which is really why I bought it. Mr Ashton has long since moved elsewhere. From my bedroom window I get a great view of the beach which on nice days in summer, keeps me amused when I'm not out at work. As I mentioned earlier, I've had two partners thus far, which I would describe as serious affairs, both of which failed the test of time. Since then, I've been on my own, save a couple of brief liaisons with two people I could trust. In my line of work, I need to be circumspect. People know what I am, and I know what they are too. We are all fine with that. We live, in this country at least, in enlightened times. I'm thirty two now, and hopefully a 'good catch' for the right person, if and when he comes along.

I fell in love with Per, almost the moment we met long ago in his garden. He was without doubt the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my short life. I had met him when both of us were at or approaching the dawn of our sexual awareness. Luckily, Per felt the same about me, as I did about him. We began to make love to each other almost immediately, in 'boyish' ways, that expressed our affection, and natural physical desire for each other's bodies. It was what I would describe as 'boy sex', as opposed to man sex. I have remained in love with Per ever since, and I can't imagine a time when I will fall out of love for that gentle and loving being. No, never.

It was a good moment to invite me to see him in Amsterdam. Per had married fellow student Elise when she fell pregnant with Finn. Per's parents, Mathias and Alea live in Den Haag now, and as nowhere in the Nederlands is that far from anywhere else, they saw their grandson Finn quite regularly for weekends. Thus, encouraged by Elise, we had the apartment to ourselves, to trace the two opposite lines of circle round to the joining point. I have described, rather than suggested, what happened in Amsterdam. I thought it pertinent to be explicit. It was meaningful. We would try to keep in touch, but not meet. It was an agreed conclusion to our relationship. It has to be this way.

Per had come with me to the station to take the train to the airport, Schipol. Both of us tried to be as brave as we could manage as we said our farewells. It wasn't easy. I went home deeply satisfied, but sad…….comforted yet regretful. I could have lived with Per forever. He is what he is, and he made his choices.

Four days later, I received his card. With it was a photograph of his son Finn. This is the relevant part of Per's note…….

……………and this is him. I wish you could have met him. I've told him about you, and how we met, first, under the pear tree. I was sitting just like dear Finn is in the photo. I didn't make him….he just did it. Isn't that strange? Do you recognize the jumper and shorts Leo? How could you not! I've kept them all these years. They are part of you and me…….inseparable in spirit. You know I love you, just as I know you love me, always……….

Kings Blue…….next to white. How sweet he looks.


It came two days ago. It's a black and white photographic print, white mounted and framed in simple black moulding. There's a signature in pencil at the bottom right hand corner behind the glass. I measured it……the image is twenty inches high by fifteen wide. The figures are standing……Per on the right, Elise on the left, and the boy Finn in between them. All three are nude. I had no idea what Elise looked like until now. She is as tall as Per, almost, with close cropped white blond hair, and very defined features. Her hips are slim, almost too slim to be capable of child birth, her chest formed but with the breasts of a girl.

Per is how I remember him from my last sight of him naked. He is upright and as tender as ever. Their hands enclose the boy around his back, as his own hands lie flat against his thighs. The taller figures radiate their affirmation of love for their beautiful son.

I study the image of the boy……ash blond and ivory skinned, not yet youth. I see the soft grey eyes, and the mouth so close to a smile…but not smiling. I see a smaller body mirrored in another I saw so long ago. I have known love. He will know love.

I'm distracted by sounds of laughter on the beach. I walk over to the window. How charming they look. There is love all around us.

The End.

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