by Rafael Henry
I had to admit to myself that the reveille experience was rather a nice one. I think it was my complete acceptance by the boys…….I was to take them as they are. A boy's bedroom is an intimate place, and collectively just as intimate. I was flattered that they felt that they could 'be themselves' in front of me. I enjoyed being part of that.
But with David I'm quite sure it's something just a little different. I felt that he was showing me his body……..that he wanted me to see it. Of course I've seen and noticed my own body at David's age, but I have never seen another boy's penis fully erect before.
A was away for two days, so it was a repeat performance the next morning. This time David was the last to get out of bed, in fact I had to wake him, but I'm not at all sure that he was actually asleep. Like yesterday morning, he had slept nude, and just under a single sheet due to the very warm nights we are having. He was on his side facing me as I moved his shoulder gently under the palm of my hand. His eyes opened and he saw me smiling.
'Come on sleepy head……time to get up. Come on David, uppy uppy.'
He smiled back at me. I stood back against the wall with my arms folded, waiting. Seconds later he was on his feet and stretching, his body arched backwards and elbows out, rib cage perfectly visible through the tightened skin, tummy concave beneath it. It's the same thing again. Then he turned his back to me and bent double to find his slippers which they all kept under their beds…..those woolly ones with patterns on. It took him a few seconds to find them. His slippers had found their way right under his bed. On his knees now, he reaches under the bed and finds them. That was another first. I had, as a younger boy examined that part of me out of curiosity, but seeing it on another was quite a new experience.
I've always been sensitive to how my own body looks, and I imagine everybody is. As a sportsman, fitness is a major issue, and how one's level of fitness is reflected in the physique. I have never had any fat on me, neither am I particularly muscled. At five foot ten, my weight is a little under what it should be really. No one, as I recall, ever made much mention of any of my physical attributes apart from one thing…….my rear end. One of the girls I went out with once remarked on it, and of course I was already aware of it.
'Simon…….did you know you have a great bum? No? Well you do .'
She wasn't the first to mention it, and hopefully not the last. I know I have quite a nice one…better than the thing the other side, not that there's anything wrong with that particular object. Not only was I always aware of my own body and how it looked…….I was consequently very aware of other peoples while we played the comparison game. I have never stopped looking at peoples' bodies whether they are clothed or not, and since I started at Berrington, I have found myself looking at the boys…….not all of them…..just some of them.
This all came as a surprise as it's definitely a new thing with me. The other night I decided to try to work it all through in my head and thinking back, I came to the conclusion that I probably always have.
A while later this image came to me quite out of the blue. It was of this boy…….his surname was Harvey, but I have no memory of his Christian name, even if I ever knew it, and I don't remember ever actually speaking to him. All I can visualize is this kid in short grey trousers running around the school playground. We all tended to congregate in the same place at breaktime, like most of the boys, including young Harvey. He was always there every day running around with his mates and I can see him now…..he had one of those spare figures that some boys have……no extra flesh on him……..and with a quite perfect bottom. We're talking short shorts now…..and a growing boy of probably eleven or so, no more than that. I remember wondering rather perversely what his preferred style of underwear was. It wasn't difficult to tell from the evidence clearly visible through the fabric of his shorts stretched tightly over his beautifully shaped buttocks, and I have to say I approved of what young Harvey was showing me, and the rest of the world, no doubt unwittingly.
I think for quite a while now I have put such thoughts on the back burner in an attempt to be 'normal' I suppose. It's a salutary experience when you realize something about yourself that you've buried within you, but there's no doubt about it…….I do look at them….I know I do.
Of course at Berrington, there's no shortage of opportunity, but……….and it's a big but……….have I given myself away? I sincerely hope not, but I have nagging doubts.
I'm having an informal talk session with David and Tim………I'll probably find out then. I remember at school in casual group conversation boys talking about certain masters who had been observed 'looking'. Of course the individuals concerned had no idea they were being observed, but once they had the slightest reputation for it, then they were scrutinized for any repetition. One quite young master was mentioned who I rather liked. I'm not saying I liked him in 'that way', but I remember feeling almost protective of him. It also confirmed my suspicions that he was indeed in the habit of looking at me . I was quite flattered. I decided that the next time he did it I would smile nicely back at him, and I did. He looked away quickly, slightly flustered I think. I don't remember our eyes ever meeting again.
I mentioned opportunities just now. Oh my goodness, they're endless in this place, especially in my line of work, let alone the residents' bedtime thing….. and the getting the boys up routine. As I said to you before, because I have a light normal daytime timetable, I'm expected to do all sorts out of duties out of school hours. One of those extra things is Gym Club. There are about fifteen boys of all ages who regularly attend, including David, and quite often Tim as well. Because I'm not qualified, I am only allowed to do the floor exercises and general fitness and stamina work, not stuff on apparatus like the vaulting box, rings and so on. If there was an accident on some equipment like that, the school would be in trouble. Gymnastics was never really a big thing with me, but I'm pretty competent at it so the basic stuff is no problem…..skills like tumbling, forward rolls, handstands, back flips and so on. The fitness and strength routines are very simple to teach, and all the older kids know them anyway. Work on handstands, which the boys love doing, is always fun because they need support for quite a while until they have developed sufficient balance to go it alone. You support them at the waist or thighs while they take their own weight on their outstretched arms. All the boys wear the traditional white gym shorts, bare feet, and in the summer months few of them want tops on. They can get very warm in the sessions so the wearing of underpants is not the done thing. They work in pairs with my assistance, and if the numbers are odd, then I can select which boy I will work with, working with all of them in turn. When it comes to handstands with legs wide apart in the 'V' position, it leaves nothing to the imagination, believe me.
Swimming is another one. The heated open air pool is quite close to the Hut, and as I use it a lot, I keep a key and supervise quite a bit of the fun swimming sessions and the fitness ones too. Obviously, no one is allowed in unsupervised, and although I already had the Bronze Medallion from school, I needed the NPLQ which I passed back in the spring at the baths in Crediton, paid for by the school. Navy blue speedo swimming pants were the rule which was very sensible as other styles took forever to dry and are impractical in a school situation. We all wore them…usually. The exception was for the 'before breakfast' sessions.
The boys would meet me at seven sharp outside the wooden door to the pool and moments later they were in the water. No one bothered with trunks. There are no changing rooms so the boys whip off their shorts and tee shirts on the grassed surrounds in seconds and take the plunge starkers. They are fun sessions so there's lots of in and out of the water stuff, usually not bothering with the corner pool ladders but heaving themselves up and over the smooth concrete edges of the pool while I stand near the edge with my whistle. Diving, and certainly jumping, is not allowed in the informal sessions, but the boys are allowed to 'roll dive', which involves curling up into a sort of ball with your hands holding your knees tightly and then just rolling forwards into the water. Great fun for them, and me too as it happens. You might think that all boys' bottoms look identical, but they don't, and I'm not referring to their glutei maximi here. I have noticed that David can vary in this respect. I saw Tim this morning and he looks very pristine. On sunny mornings their bodies are quite beautiful as the wet skin reflects the new golden early light………most of them sporting a light tan apart from the middle bit normally safely in the shadow of their mandatory brief swimwear.
It amuses me watching them play together, with most of them in two's, as are Tim and David. They don't go too far from where I am which is interesting, almost as if they want me to watch them. Their play routines are quite physical with lots of chasing and catching and attempts at drowning their friend, only for him to bob back up merrily to return the favour. Two of the younger ones are playing 'squeeze the genitals' and I decide to intervene…….
'Danny…….leave him alone please…….he doesn't want you doing that.'
He does actually, but it's a good way of telling them both to stop it. David and Tim's play is a bit more subtle with plenty of back touching and play hugging routines which I suspect they find quite stimulating. I can't really see what's going on under water but Tim who is normally fairly miniscule appears less so at this moment in time, bless him. He's such an amenable boy, that one. I'm sure David calls the tune in that relationship.
I'm lying on my bed now thinking about 'things', and it all feels rather pleasant.
David and Tim are coming down after school to go on with our last discussion topic which was about friendship and what it means. The three younger boys were a bit adrift of where the discussion was going so we wound it up as simply as we could for their benefit. Our extension meeting should be interesting as it will focus on just the two older boys. I have to say that I'm looking forward to it.
David and Tim are in conversation…….it's the lunch break and they are wandering on the Field….. ………..Tim has a question for David………….
'Do you still like me David?'
'Of course I do Tim! Why? Have I done something?'
'No………but I thought you might prefer him , that's all, because……….well you know why.'
'I don't prefer him actually. Anyway you like him too don't you…..you're always on about him. Go on, admit it, you are aren't you.'
'So are you.'
The boys walk on…….they are down at the far end of the playing fields on their own and David looks round to see if they can be seen. He decides that they can't. It's safe to do what he would like to do………to show his friend some affection. David puts his arm around Tim's waist, and immediately Tim does the same to David. The two boys turn to face each other, and David gently kisses Tim on his mouth, his hand holding the back of Tim's head so he cannot escape his very tender gesture. The boys love the feeling the kiss is giving them, and it's a lasting thing…….a very erotic thing.
'There……. that says I like you.'
Tim looks down, the younger more vulnerable boy, sensitive and caring, the boy who above all else wants to please his older friend. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Can it really be love at that age? Well as far as the boys are concerned, it is ……..of course it is. Who are we to say that it isn't? It's also, interestingly, a sexual thing too.
Sex is important to both of them because it is a means of expression, exactly like it is with adults. It's a way for Tim to prove his love for David, and it's a way for David to tell Tim that he accepts his love and will return it…….and they both find their own kind of sex extremely enjoyable too. As the boys stand opposite each other, their hands around each other's waist still, David asks Tim………
'What's willy doing Tim?'
'What he wants to do I suppose……anyway, that's for me to know and you to find out isn't it?'
Sweet little tantalising boy…..smaller than David, with his short dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
David takes both hands from Tim's back and one hand holds the waistband of Tim's grey short trousers tightly so that with the other he finds the little metal thing just below, and gently slides it downwards until it's gone as far as it will go. Tim knows what will happen next, and so do we.
The boys kiss once more, but sadly none of it can last long…….they might be seen at any moment so it all ends as fast as it began, and the two boys walk on…….two boys together.
'I do love you Tim……..I really do.'
The boys walk on. David checks his watch. They have twenty minutes left, at least, before afternoon school starts. Tim wonders………
'Are you going to say anything then……..about us?'
Tim's referring to the meeting with Simon at the Hut……..now just two hours away. It was David's idea to tell Simon about their friendship, and was it ok to feel like they did? The discussion might go further and if it did, David thought that they should tell Simon everything. After all, two of them were leaving in a few weeks and Simon wasn't a teacher……not a proper one anyway. He was more of a student than a teacher, and they both knew that Simon would never betray them….never. But there was another reason that neither David nor Tim really wanted to talk about to the other……or did they?
'David……..how much do you like Simon then?'
'As much as you do probably.' The boys giggle.
The boys had had discussions on various occasions about Simon when they were walking on their own, and when they knew no one could hear what they were saying, like now, on the field. Tim had rather naughtily wondered what he was like with nothing on, and David had said that he thought he must be 'pretty nice'.
'He's got a bottom like yours David…….did you know?'
'Oh, so you've noticed then Tim. Probably the first thing you looked at knowing you, you sexy little sod.'
'No it wasn't actually.'
'Oh……..so what was it then?'
The two boys laughed, because they both knew what David was referring to about Simon. Tim continued….
'I mean……..can you imagine it then……..what his willy is like…….I mean exactly what it's like?'
That's a question that they thought would never be answered, although Simon had provided them with some clues along the way.
Simon wore speedo style trunks in the pool like everyone else……and most of the summer term, often in class too, he wears a pair of white shorts. Like all those sporty types, he has an extensive wardrobe of sports clothing. The athletics kit is the most revealing, and both David and Simon hadn't been slow to volunteer for Running Club. On one occasion they had got close to seeing something more of Simon after showers when his towel came loose after he had checked on the boys in the shower. They only had a back view but Simon's bare bottom was, just for a moment or two, revealed to the boys.
'Shall we tell him then?'
'Yeah……the discussion was all about relationships wasn't it? I think we should. I want to anyway.'
Tim is't sure.
'What if he tells someone?'
'He won't silly……..it's all confidential isn't it. He can't. It's like confession…..the priest can't tell anyone…….he's sworn to secrecy.'
'So we could tell him everything. Do you want to………I mean really?'
Yeah……….it could be interesting don't you think?'
'But we don't do anything here at school do we……we can't……..well not much anyway. I wish we had a place like Simon's we could go to.'
'But he's not there all the time is he………..he never locks it does he?'
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