Westpoint Tales

by Kiwi

Entangled Tales - 32 - Justin

When he woke in the morning, Justin had gone. There was a note on the pillow beside him. Jonathan sat up and read. "Good Morning Brother, I've gone out walking. I need to think & to decide - I don't know what. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine and I'll be back. Love you, J."

He rose and showered, then went down for breakfast. Nobody had seen Justin, he must have left really early. He wasn't back when Billy rang looking for him at 8am., nor at 9, nor at 11.

Jonathan cruised around the streets of Westpoint, not really searching for Justin, but looking anyway. He wasn't in any of his usual haunts and none of his friends, including the Carvers, had seen him all day.

Then, late-afternoon, Justin was back at the Adelphi - up on a ladder, scrubbing the ceiling in the upstairs hallway. He was dressed again in his old gray sweatshirt (complete with bullet holes), and was wearing the dark glasses. Jonathan greeted him with relief, but he only grunted in reply and continued working.

Shortly before 5.00pm., the phone rang again and Bob called up the stairs. "Justin, telephone for you! It's your friend again, that Billy kid. He's been looking for you all day."

He looked down at Jonathan, standing at the foot of the ladder. "Please tell him that I'm busy."

Jonathan went into their room and picked up the phone. "This is Jonathan Shaw. Is that you Mathieson? My brother doesn't want to talk to you. Fuck off and leave him alone. He doesn't need this shit. I don't know what you did, but you hurt him, Mathieson - you really hurt my brother. You can stay the fuck away from him. You come anywhere near Justin again and I'll do you. And if you think that Justin can throw a punch, you ain't seen nothing yet. So Fuck Off!" He slammed the receiver down and went back out to hold the ladder.

Justin looked down and queried, "You ain't seen nothing yet?"

"Yes. Well. I don't mind standing in your shadow. But, I meant it, anyone hurts you and they'll answer to me."

"You don't fight for me. I only said to tell him that I was busy. But, thank you Jonathan."

"Any time Brother."

Monday morning they came down to breakfast, Jonathan was in his school clothes, Justin was not. Jonathan was cheery and excited about the last full week before the holidays. Justin was quiet behind his dark glasses, spoke only when he was spoken to, didn't laugh, didn't smile. Bob, Kathleen and Connors all exchanged questioning looks but no-one said a word.

After breakfast Jonathan found Justin on his knees, scrubbing the floor behind the bar.

"Justin, aren't you coming to school today?"

"No."

"Will you be coming tomorrow then? Are you coming back at all?"

"No."

"But what am I going to tell them? Everyone's going to be looking for you."

"I don't care. Tell them I've had a relapse or something."

"A relapse of your sickness? I can't do that. We can't sell the cure if it doesn't work."

"Whatever. I am not going back to school."

"But you can't just leave. You're too young to leave school."

"I am too old to be there. Goodbye Jonathan."

On his way out through the kitchen, he spoke to the grandparents. "He's not coming. He says he's not going back to school."

"But why? Why won't he go to school? He loves it there."

"Not any more apparently. Says he's too old for school."

Bob said, "Too old? He's not too old. What the hell's going on, Jonathan? It's like we've got the old sad Justin back - the one we had before you came here."

Kathleen agreed, "That is exactly what it's like. Have you two had a fight, Jonathan? Is that what this is about?"

"No, we haven't fought, no more than usual."

"Then it must be the Carvers. That Carver boy he spent the day with on Saturday, did they fight?"

"No. Not really. Look, Granddad, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Justin said he's in love with the Carver kid. He’s in love with Billy, but he doesn't love him back. That's all. I don't know how anyone's going to fix this. I've gotta go or I'll be late."

Kathleen watched him go. "Justin's in love with a boy, and he doesn't love him back. My poor baby. What can we do, Robert?"

"I don't know, Kathy. I don't know that there's anything we can do. Just wait I suppose. Wait and pick up the pieces if he falls."

"I think he's already fallen, poor kid."

Jonathan went to school where he seemed to spend most of his day saying that Justin wasn't coming. Don't know why, don't care. Justin spent the day at home, cleaning.

Claire, Shelley and Dee came around after school. Kathleen, delighted to see them, sent them up to where Justin was working. However, they soon came back and reported that he wouldn't stop and he wouldn't talk to them. They left.

Next morning, after Jonathan had gone, Bob, really worried now, decided that he had to tackle Justin, and he went to confront him. He was up a ladder, cleaning windows.

"Justin? Justin can you stop that for a minute? I want to talk to you."

He stopped cleaning and stood still at the top of the ladder, head down.

"Justin, why won't you go to school?"

"I am not going to school, Sir."

"I know you're not, but why?"

"It is too hard."

"Nonsense, Justin. School's not too hard for you of all people."

"I do not belong there. This is where I belong." He sprayed more cleaner and started rubbing the window.

"Justin stop that. You can't just stay in here cleaning all day again."

"Are you throwing me out, Sir? Do you want me to leave?"

"What? No! Of course I don't want you to leave. We want you to be happy, Boy. We want you to have a life."

"This is my life. Excuse me, Sir."

He continued cleaning. Bob walked away shaking his head in despair. He went back to the kitchen.

Kathleen looked over when he came in. "Well? How did it go?"

Bob just shook his head. "He's up there cleaning and won't stop. I can't get through to him. I'm afraid that the old Justin is back, dark glasses and all. What about Lucas? He connected with him before when no-one else could. Should we get him back again?"

"No. That wouldn't work, he's closer to Claire than Lucas now. And there's Jonathan too of course. They couldn't get through to him, so Lucas wouldn't. No. I think, Robert, there's only one person who could lift him out of this depression he's in. Like it or not, there's only one."

"Who? The Carver boy you mean? Well I don't like it Kathleen. I don't like it at all. Boys loving boys, it's not natural."

"Well it's natural to him, Robert. He's gay and that's the way it is. It doesn't matter whether we like it or not. Anyway, I don't think that boy is interested in him. That's the whole problem isn't it?"

At lunchtime, Mrs. Lewis came to see Justin. Kathleen and Connors left them to talk in private in the kitchen.

"How are you, Justin? Are you well?"

"I am well, thank you Ma'am."

"So, why aren't you at school?"

"Because I choose not to."

"Are you coming back at all?"

"No, Ma'am."

"I think you're making a mistake, Justin. But no-one can make you go. What about Oliver Twist? Our play - are you still going to be the Artful Dodger?"

"No, Ma'am."

"It won't be the same. What are we going to do without you?"

"Carl is the understudy. He can play the part."

"I suppose he could, but he's never going to do it like you can."

"Carl can play the part"

"What about our deal Justin? You as the Dodger, Billy Mathieson as Oliver. It was you who said 'all or nothing' remember."

"So you would dump Billy if I am not there?"

"That was our deal."

"Whether I am there or not, Billy is the best person for the part. If you chose to destroy his dreams, then you are a smaller person than I thought you were. However, it is your choice. I will not be there. Good day Mrs. Lewis."

Kathleen returned to find her still sitting there. "No deal then?"

"No. He's not coming back. I thought I had an Ace up my sleeve - Billy Mathieson. He only got the role of Oliver in our school play because Justin insisted. I said I would drop him if Justin doesn't come back."

"Oh. And what did he say?"

"He said I would be wrong, but he won't stop me. I'm not going to of course. He's right, Billy is the best person for the role, but I thought I could bluff him."

"You won't bluff our boy, Emily. He's harder than diamonds that one. Immovable."

Wednesday morning, there was still no change. Jonathan went off to school, Justin stayed home and cleaned. The Reynolds agreed the old hotel would soon be sparkling clean again, but they'd rather have their laughing-eyed boy back.

When Jonathan came home at lunchtime and went running upstairs to get his forgotten sports gear, Kathleen stood at the foot of the stairs and collared him as he came back down.

"Jonathan, wait a minute. Would you do something for me - for your brother?"

"Of course I would, Gran. What do you want?"

"What do I want? I can't believe I'm asking this, but - that boy, Billy Carver. If anyone could cheer Justin up, it would be him. I don't think anything else is going to work. Could you talk to him Jonathan? Sound him out - tell him how Justin's feeling and see whether there's any hope at all? Would you do that, Jonathan?"

Jonathan grinned and hugged her. "Did I ever tell you that I think you're a very wise old lady? I'll go and find him now." He ran out to the car and raced back to school.

There was no-one outside the Carver's house, except for the builders who were putting on a new roof. He looked at his watch - ten to one - and sat in his car and waited. It was almost one o'clock when a group of teens came out and headed across to the school. Jonathan got out and confronted Billy.

"You get the fuck away from me, Shaw! I've done nothing. You lay one hand on me and you'll see what the Carvers do to punks like you. Fuck Off!"

"Billy, wait. I just want to talk to you - please Billy."

"Fuck off Shaw. You've done enough talking. You told me to stay away from him - well I have, and I will. Okay, Big Man?"

"Billy, look, I'm sorry, okay? I had no right to speak to you like I did. I was right out of line and I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about my brother."

"Why? What's the matter with Justin?"

"He's bleeding, not physically, but he's bleeding on the inside. He's dying by inches. Do you have any feelings for him at all?"

"Of course I do. I don't want to see him hurting. I love Justin."

"Right then! Come on."

"What are you doing? Get your fucking hands off me."

"Get in the car, Billy. Get in now. We're going to see Justin. You've got to fix this, no-one else can."

He drove back to the hotel with his semi-willing passenger beside him. At the back door, Billy hesitated, but Jonathan gave him no choice. He grabbed him by a wrist and dragged him inside, upstairs and along to where Justin was working on a floor.

Justin looked up as they approached and rose to his feet. "Billy? Jonathan!"

Jonathan grabbed him with his other hand and dragged the both of them to the bedroom door.

"Shut up, Justin. It's not me you need to talk to. Get in there, the pair of you, and don't come out until you're both smiling." He pushed them into the room and shut the door.

"And, I'll stand out here all day if I have to."

"Billy. I'm sorry. I..."

"Take the glasses off, Justin. I can't see you in there."

He removed the dark glasses, looked into his eyes, and ventured a quick grin.

"Better?"

"Much better. Now, kiss me Sweetcheeks."

He put his hands up on his shoulders, shaking. "Can I? Should I?"

"If you love me you will. I love you Justin Reynolds."

"Oh, YES!"

Five minutes later the bedroom door opened and Jonathan looked into his twin's teary but laughing eyes. His wide smile threatened to split his face in two.

"Justin? Is everything all right then?"

"No, better than all right. Everything's perfect. Thank you my lovely brother. Thank you for everything. Now go away. We're very busy in here. Go back to school."

Justin closed the door and leaned back against it. He raised his hands, tips of forefingers and thumbs pressed together, and looked through the rough square formed. He closed one eye and looked at the beautiful boy lying back on his bed. Tousled hair the colour of flames in the sunshine, perfect alabaster-white skin, eyes the blue of summer skies and sparkling white teeth in his sunny smile.

"What ARE you doing?"

"I'm catching pictures to remember you by after you've gone - making memories."

"That's not how you make memories. Come over here and we'll make some memories."

He came, stretched out on top of him on the bed and touched their lips together. "I like that word."

"What word? Memories?"

"No. 'We.' I love you Billy."

"I love you Justin. I mmmph."

Hours later, Billy dreamily stretched his naked body. He glanced at the clock/radio next to the bed and suddenly snapped wide awake. "Shit! Justin, I've got to go! It's nearly 3 o'clock. I'm going to miss the bus."

He leapt out of bed, pulling his clothes together. "If I run up the end of the street, I can catch it there before it goes on to the bridge."

"Billy. Billy, calm down. Come back to bed - miss the bloody bus."

"What? I can't miss the bus. Mum'll go apeshit!"

“Billy, don't leave me, please. Come back here. You can miss the bus, then we'll ring your mum and tell her that you're staying the night here."

Undecided, he stood there. Naked but clutching his clothes against him. He smiled down at the boy on the bed. "I'd love to stay. But I can't. I've gotta go home."

"No you don't. You've gotta come back here and love me. I need you more than your mum does at the moment."

"Yeah, I can see how much you need me. But what if she grounds me? - I could be stuck out at home for the holidays."

"If you are, I'll come and hide in your room. You can feed me on angel kisses and burgers. Come here Billy. I love you Billy.”

"Oh, Justin. I love you Justin. But I don't know. You don't know my mum like I do."

"It'll be all right. I'll ring your mum and lay on the charm. She likes me I think."

"She likes you all right. But I don't know if she'd like you fucking her number one son all night."

"But how would number one son like it?"

"Oh, he'd like it fine. Okay - what the hell."

He jumped back on Justin, giggling. They hugged and kissed, but then Billy broke away again.

"But I can't stay here. The Dragon Lady. Sorry - your gran. She'll never agree to a Carver spending the night in your room."

"Yes you can. Yes she will. My Gran's okay. She sent Jonathan to go and bring you here today."

"She did? How cool is that? But what about Jonathan though - doesn't he sleep with you?"

"Yes he sleeps with me. But how on earth would you know that?"

"Small town gossip. Everybody watches, everybody knows. The spotlight's been firmly fixed on you for weeks now. What they don't know though is whether you're actually fucking him."

"Eww! No, of course not. We're just sleeping. You are the only one I've ever wanted for the other. Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn't, but then I saw you. My first day at school, I saw you out there, playing cricket, shining in the sunshine, and that was it for me."

"It was? I saw you too, and I thought, “Who's that friggin' weirdo looking at me?”"

"I'm not a weirdo."

"No, you're not. But I didn't know that then. But, what about Jonathan though? Where's he going to sleep? I'm not sleeping with him too, even if he is nice to look at."

"He is beautiful, isn't he? But, no, I'm not sharing you with him. He's as straight as they come anyway. We've got another room. He can go and sleep there."

"And he'll be all right with that?"

"Yes. Jonathan will be happy if I'm happy. And I've never been happier than I am right now."

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