The Light

By and © Joe Writer Man

Chapter 44

*-* David *-*

The past few weeks have been busy with near daily visits to Matt, and Angel and Allen's competitions and practices.

Brad's visits were hit and miss. He was definitely afraid of his father. The only time he'd visit was when dad would 'sneak' him in. Usually the visits were simply nothing more than a sexual liaison. When I'd ask Matt how the visit went he'd pretty much dismiss what had happened between them behind closed doors.

I found that odd... so did everyone else.

In any event, Matt's progress had been quick. He progressed so well that he was moved out of the ICU to a rehab unit. He also had his tracheotomy tube removed and the defect repaired. He was very fortunate that his vocal cords weren't damaged.

Just before Matt was scheduled to be well enough to be discharged Dr. Miller approached us and said that Matt may very well be a candidate for a kidney transplant. He went through detailed testing, interviews with various decision making members of the transplant team, and tissue typing.

Because the extent of Matt's injuries put him in a very high risk category the transplant team decided the only way Matt could receive a new kidney was if a family member was found to be compatible.

Matt's biological mother was ruled out immediately - by Matt. He wanted nothing to do with her... even if it meant he'd die.

At first the transplant team didn't want to test Peter because of his age and previous sexual contacts however they did test him. He was a perfect match... 99.57% to be exact. Further, they proved out that Matt and Peter are identical twins. Identical twins transplant well together with very few rejections post transplant. For this reason the committee reversed its denial thus paving the way for the transplant.

Peter and dad (I was permitted to attend) were scheduled for a formal interview with Dr. Rasmussen the chief of transplantation at the hospital. He'd actually be performing the procedure.

After a three and a half hour wait, the nurse finally called Peter to the desk and said that Dr. Rasmussen would be with us shortly. She told us that the doctor had been called for emergency surgery and that our wait was just about over.

About 45 minutes later the same nurse called Peter into the examination room. There he was instructed to remove his clothes and put on a hospital gown. When that was completed, the nurse took his vital signs, including his height and weight. Within mere minutes of her departure Dr. Rasmussen entered.

My first impression of him was dislike. I wasn't sure why I felt that way... but I did. I also sensed Peter was uncomfortable. Dad seemed to read our thoughts. Dad's an upfront and personal kind of guy when it comes to serious issues.

Perhaps I should describe him first... he was about 5' 7" tall, 12 feet around, had a scraggly mustache that desperately needed grooming, and his long hair was tied in a pony tail that had long ago seen better days.

He spent a few minutes studying the hospital notes, lab information, and other things. Finally he spoke up though he wasn't looking at any of us. "Your blood sugar was very high in the hospital. We'll recheck it today. If it's high then you're disqualified. It's an automatic thing because of healing difficulties."

Dad spoke up and said "Dr. Rasmussen, Dr. Miller said his high blood sugar was most likely the result of the shock his system had experienced because he was injured. By the end of his hospital stay his lab work was within normal. He also had lab work performed just prior to his testicle implant.

"Mr. Blake, surgery is a shock to the system. I said we'll recheck it today. If it shows diabetic levels then he's disqualified. I have the final say so." Dr. Rasmussen said sarcastically.

Dad's eyebrows rose up. He sat forward in the chair. Then calmly but deliberately he said to Dr. Rasmussen, "Excuse me doctor, but this is my son we are talking about here. And Matt is on his way to becoming my son as well. Please respect us."

Dr. Rasmussen asked many questions such as if Peter had had many infections and other abnormalities in his sight, hearing, digestion, urination and a whole bunch of questions about his bones and joints.

Turning back to Peter's chart he said, "It says here that you are homosexual. If you've had gay sex then you are automatically disqualified. We do not accept patients who may, can or will have HIV/AIDS. Have you had gay penetrative sex? That is anal to anal penetration with another male."

"Yes I have. I'm not going to lie to you."

Without hearing Peter out, Dr. Rasmussen said, "Okay, you're disqualified. Thank you for visiting."

"No. Wait. You do not understand. I've been tested countless times. Each time the tests have come back negative. I'm gay. I have a lover. We are monogamous always have been and always will be. Look, if you do not believe me then ask Dr. Miller. I don't like you. You're an ass.

Dad looked at Peter and was just about to say something when Peter continued, "Matt is my twin brother. I love him. I have to do this."

When Dr. Rasmussen said, "Your lover needs to be checked. Bone marrow tests are very painful but it's the only sure fire method... do you really want to go through the pain of this test - we stick a huge needle in your butt, drill down through your bone and then aspirate marrow... it is exceptionally painful."

I felt that Dr. Rasmussen was backing down, somewhat. Dad put the pressure on him. He said, "Peter, get dressed, now." Dad commanded then lit into Dr. Rasmussen as Peter began getting dressed "Dr. Rasmussen, you're an asshole. You have no right to talk to my son that way. If I have to, I will have Matt transferred to the mainland where he can be seen by a real transplant team. We have an unusual situation in our home. I can attest and will swear that my son David has never ever been in a sexual relationship with another person. Period."

"Whatever are you talking about Mr. Blake? Are you telling me that your two sons are in a homosexual relationship?"

"David and I were boyfriends and lovers before the adoption became final. CPS knows and approves. Law enforcement knows and they too approve. If I am disqualified then just say so and we'll be on our way. I agree with my dad: you're an asshole. Apparently you've schmoozed over a bunch of people to be chief of transplant surgery." Peter hissed.

I spoke up, "Yeah, you are an asshole. Come on guys, this guy who calls himself a doctor has given me the creeps. Come on. We'll go somewhere else as dad said we would."

"We have our protocol. No exceptions are permitted. You can go anywhere on the mainland and they will tell you the same thing."

"You are talking before you know the facts, Doctor. Facts speak louder than hearsay wouldn't you agree?" Dad said ceremoniously.

"Fine, I'm an asshole. Whatever. I'm also a good surgeon. We have to be." Dr, Rasmussen said to dad then turned to Peter and said much calmer, "Put your gown back on. I'll send a nurse in to take your blood and urine. I'll do a physical. If I find anything, anything at all out of the ordinary... the transplant will not happen, do you understand me perfectly well?"

Peter piped up and said distinctly, "Then stop being an asshole. If you give a shit about your patients then act like you care." In a display very unlike Peter he added, "You're fucking with my family here."

With that said, Peter continued to get dressed. I'd never seen him act like that before, and quite frankly I was shocked at his use of words... and his anger.

Dad jumped on Peter with all four paws, "Peter! That will be ENOUGH of that language. We'll talk about this later. Doctor, I apologize for my son's outburst. Trust me, he'll be punished, and he'll be punished severely."

Peter replied to dad, "He's messing with my family, dad. He's putting Matt's life on the line. I won't have it."

"Dr. Rasmussen, will you please excuse us? I need to settle this with my son right now."

Peter snapped his jeans then reached for the door handle. I got up. I was getting pissed. I said to Peter, "Dude, shut your mouth already. You've gotten in over your head."

"No David. Matt's life's hanging in the balance. Like I said, I won't have Matt's life messed with." Peter said forcefully.

"Peter, I love you. You've got to chill down though. You've got my support -but- you but you need to shut up the talking to dad and Dr. Rasmussen like that." I said softly.

"Dr. Rasmussen, please, this is a situation I need to rectify right here and now. If you do not leave then I will be forced to deal with this with you present." Dad said gingerly.

"I'm going to stay. Peter told me I'm an asshole. Quite frankly, if he were my son I'd be congratulating him on figuring things out. Truthfully, I'm an asshole, and I am indeed fucking with his family."

"Dr. Rasmussen, I'll not have my son talking to ANY person like he did. It's totally disrespectful, and uncalled for." To Peter dad added, "You're grounded from the pool for a period of no less than one month. If you continue acting like this then I may have to reconsider what I said to you about corporal punishment. You aren't too old or too big for me to swat your butt to get your attention. Am I perfectly clear?"

Peter lashed back and said "You promised me you would never hurt me like that. You promised me you would never hit me. YOU PROMISED!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I got up and walked out. I'd reached my limit. They'd have to deal with it.


David walked out of the examination room leaving me with dad and Dr. Rasmussen.

I got scared. I sat down then a wave of nausea took me over. Dr. Rasmussen saw it coming and pushed a trash can in my face just a second before I puked my guts. He then put his hand on my shoulder as I heaved. I looked up... his expression was very, very different. He said to dad, "Mr. Blake, would you please join your other son. I'd like to handle this. I've hit my son in anger. I've regretted it from that moment forward. Understand that I too would be very upset if my son had talked to an adult as he has spoken to me. I think we can work something out here but first I'd like to talk to Peter alone."

Dad nodded then looked at me, "This isn't over. You're too old to spank. Count on me to keep my promise."

I nodded then put the trashcan on the floor. Dad handed me a Kleenex that I used to wipe my mouth and nose. I tossed it in the can then stood and reached for dad. He took me in his arms. We hugged. I said, "I'm sorry dad. I can't lose my brother... I just can't."

"Then talk to the doctor like you're almost grown up. There is a principle about disagreements... we say what we mean but we're not mean about it."

"You're right dad. I'm sorry." I turned to Dr. Rasmussen, "I'm sorry for acting like a baby. I'm worried and afraid."

"I can understand your worry, being afraid, and even your anger to a certain extent. Mr. Blake I'm sure that we'll be okay. Why don't you assure your other son that we're working things out? I'll call for you when the examinations are finished. Is this okay? Does it meet your approval?"

Dad nodded, hugged me again then left the room.

Dr. Rasmussen took me into his private office, closed the door, motioned to a chair and then sat down next to me.

"Peter, you cannot talk to your dad like that. It embarrassed him into anger which is a pretty normal human emotion when a child challenges his father. I know this firsthand as my son did it to me. When we challenge our parents, we need to do it within the privacy of our own homes, and we need to do it respectfully. I need to know as a doctor: has your dad ever struck you at all for any reason?"

"No. He never has. You saw my hospital records and you know what happened to me ... well, dad promised me that he would never hit me for any reason ever."

"Peter, look me in the eyes, I have something to tell you."

I looked up then reached over for a Kleenex and wiped my eyes dry and blew my nose. After tossing the well used tissue into the nearby trash can I nodded for him to continue. He had my full attention.

"Peter, I do not see your dad hitting you. He does not seem like that type of a man to me. I know people pretty well. I used to be a psychiatrist but got highly bored with that profession and went into surgery which is where the action is. Surgery brings me great personal satisfaction. I'm not saying psychiatrists are bad, I'm not saying anything like that - I was just bored and my training did not keep me from hitting my son very hard in a supermarket. He was a teenager at about your age. That moment changed our lives drastically. He recently died from a drug overdose and his death made me hard and very angry. Before I go on any further, this conversation is not about me. It is about you. We need to get you prepared for the surgery I hope to be able to perform so that it helps you to save your brothers' life."

"So that is why you come off as an asshole?" I said softly.

"Yes, and it isn't right. Peter, I apologize to you for projecting my anger onto you."

"Okay, I accept your apology - but on one condition ... and that one condition is that you accept my apology for being an asshole to you. It is something we seem to have in common, or so it seems anyway."

"I accept your apology even though it is not ..."

"Don't. I was an asshole. I never talk to adults that way, or even my friends, or my other brothers. So, I'm sorry that I did."

"Fair enough. So we are okay then?" Dr. Rasmussen said genuinely.

"Yeah, we are okay. Thanks. Your patients need your skills Dr. Rasmussen. They also need someone to care about them because they are going up against a whole lot of fears. I'm scared for Matt. I've had operations before - no big deal - but this one is for Matt whom I have grown to love ... actually, we loved each other before we ever met - if that makes any sense."

"That makes perfect sense, Peter. Twins are like that - even when they are apart, they are still connected. The bond cannot be broken."

"So ... your son died of a drug overdose ... I'm sorry ... I cannot imagine the grief you must be experiencing."

"Yes he did. He died in his own bed. The drug was cocaine. He had been drinking too. The coroner said that his heart could not take it, it was just too much."

"Did he have a heart condition? I mean he was pretty young wasn't he?"

"He was 16, and no he was healthy, other than for his drug addiction that is."

"Okay. I'm sorry that you lost your son. I really am. I've done drugs doctor, back in the old days. They forced them on me. Some I took just because they made the pain go away ..."

"Oh Peter, I am sorry. As your doctor I have to ask if you shot anything up because ..."

"No, I didn't shoot anything. I smoked or swallowed it. I snorted cocaine a few times. I don't have a problem now. It never really was a problem. I don't need it if you know what I mean?"

"No I don't understand what you mean Peter. Tell me."

"My counselor and I talked about it several times as it came up in our conversations. Those drugs were a way for me to escape the pain of my life during that time. As much as I tried to I did not become dependent on them. I now no longer need them to escape anything, and I hate them."

"Peter, you've had a challenging life. You are a remarkable young man. My wife is a counselor at a high school here on this island. Would you be interested in speaking to your peers ... maybe at an assembly?"

"I don't know. It would depend on what my dad says about it."

"Would you yourself like to do it? For you Peter and nobody else? You might be able to help someone else through their own hard times. Doing it might bring you a lot of healing from your past too. Don't forget you're not the only gay child out there, okay?"

"Well, yeah, I would do it if it would help someone, of course I would. Was your son gay, doctor?"

"I don't know. His mother had her suspicions. He was probably afraid to say so ... anyway, shall we get down to business?"

"Okay. I'll let you know about speaking. Oh ... I forgot something to ask you ..."

"Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Uhm, well the trial for the True Assholes that did their stuff to me, and possibly to Matt, starts the first week of November. Will I be ready? I mean will I be healed up enough by then?"

"Peter, that is very soon. The test results should come in by Friday of this week. I would like to do the surgery on Monday. You would be in the hospital 5 or 6 days post op, and you will be very, very sore for a couple of weeks. I'll show you where the incision will be when I do your physical - that is a very tender space there."

"Can't it be done through that lapo, lapor ... anyway, through the tube?" I said not being able to remember the procedure's name.

"Laparoscopy. No, we can't. Transplants have to be 'open' so the kidney is not damaged in any way. If they get damaged then they're useless. We'll talk to you in much more detail should the surgery go forward. Do you have any further questions for right now?"

"I really want to help my brother... I'll do anything."

"I understand. I'll do everything possible to make it happen. Peter, Matt needs your kidney, okay? I understand." The doctor said very softly while looking directly into my eyes. He meant it. I knew he meant each and every word.

I returned the exam room, undressed then got up on the table, and waited for him to get started.

A couple of minutes later he entered the exam room and performed a complete physical including my butt hole. While I didn't get a full hard-on my dick definitely responded. He covered me up, not to hide it but to provide me with privacy and dignity.

We talked about our families, the weather, and how much we liked living in Hawaii. He was a real personable guy in all actuality.

After plenty of assurances were given, and after giving him assurances that I'd been catheterized before he inserted the tube through my penis and into my bladder and drew urine for a pure specimen. He was very gentle and quick. Other than for a slight sting the test was performed effortlessly and without pain.

He made the comment that my testicle implant was done very well and that by the time I reached adulthood it would look just like my natural nut.

"Okay, you can get dressed. I'll send the nurse in to take your blood. Then we'll all get together and talk." Dr. Rasmussen said then exited the exam room.

I got dressed. Just as I was putting my shirt on the nurse arrived. She drew enough blood to need a transfusion (or so it seemed, she drew 8 vials of blood from my arm!). She then took q-tips and took samples of my throat, ears, and anus. She said those tests were being performed to make sure I didn't have an infection somewhere.

She then escorted me into Dr. Rasmussen's office. Dad, David and he were talking. They looked up. Dr. Rasmussen stood then showed me to a set between dad and David. Dr. Rasmussen closed the door to his office, sat down and said "Okay. Peter seems very healthy. We've taken lab samples. They are being rushed to the hospital to be analyzed while they're still fresh. The results will be in no later than Friday. If they're okay, and I mean really okay - that there is no evidence of diabetes or infection then we can and must proceed quickly. I'm on call this weekend so if you'd like to we can do the surgery on Saturday morning, or we can proceed on Monday. Basically, it's your choice. The sooner the better. Do you have a preference?"

I replied seriously, "Today. Right now. Matt needs it!"

Dr. Rasmussen grinned, "Right. Of course. There is one more test that we need to get before the go-ahead can be given. Tomorrow morning at 10:00am, you need to be at the hospital. They'll do some very specialized tests on your kidney. One of them includes injecting your system with some dye. We do this to make sure your kidney function isn't already compromised. I anticipate it being normal but we do need it. We'll also do an MRI to make sure its size is okay. How about if I call you on Friday when the test results are all in?"

Dad replied, "That'll be fine. How long will Peter be in the hospital afterward assuming the tests come back okay and the operation is successful?"

"I'd think he'd be in the hospital for 5 to 6 days at least. His incision will be very, very uncomfortable for a couple of weeks, as I explained to Peter. Stand up and lift your shirt. I'll outline where the incision will be."

I stood and raised my shirt. Dr. Rasmussen drew a line from the middle of my stomach to my back. He added, "Many muscles allow you to turn from side to side, and forward and backward. We will have to separate those muscles to get inside to the kidney. Don't be a hero, Peter, ask for pain medicine whenever you need it."

"Dr. Rasmussen, will Peter and Matt be able to share a room after their surgery?" Dad asked.

"No, I'm afraid not. Matt will be taken to the Transplant Intensive Care Unit. He'll be kept in strict contact isolation so that he doesn't pick up any bad bugs. We have to be especially careful since Matt's been in the hospital already for so long. He's at risk for developing an MRSA post operatively. Rest assured that he'll be aggressively treated to prevent such an infection. We also have to be very careful about you picking up an infection. It could be a disaster if that happened."

"Okay, well, when can I see him?"

"Oh, I'd think in maybe 4 days post operatively. We want to make sure you do not pick up an infection ... like I said we have to be especially careful with Matt. Any surgery is traumatic Peter, it will stress your body, and we know it will stress Matt's."

"When will you know if it, the surgery, is successful?" David asked.

"I will know it when Matt's still on the operating table. As soon as we hook things up, he should start producing urine immediately."

"Kewl. Wait till he hears this."

"Please don't tell him yet. He does not need the chance of a disappointment at this stage. He's improving very well ... and well we don't want to set him back if your tests come back unsuitable."

"Oh, we didn't know that doctor. We told Matt last night that Peter is seeing you today here in the office. He was excited but he was also disturbed that Peter would put himself in this position." David said.

"Oh okay. To be perfectly honest, I do believe that you and Matt are identical twins. One of the tests we are performing is a genetic match. This will reveal your true twin status. If you are identical, or even if you are not identical twins, family, direct blood family is the best bet and produce the best long term results."

"The DNA testing that was performed showed that the two boys are indeed identical twins." Dad said.

"Okay, good. We still have to do the genetic matching. It is protocol."

"Will Peter require blood transfusions?" Dad asked.

"That possibility always exists. Normally the donor does not require transfusions. Peter, do not take any aspirin or any other medication 72 hours prior to your surgery. If you want the operation performed on Saturday then do not take any medication after today. We need to know immediately if you should come down with a cold, virus or stomach ailment. We would have to postpone the surgery until you were completely well for 96 hours. If you require antibiotics then we would not be able to transplant for a week following the end of the antibiotic course."

"What about school? How long will he be out?" Dad asked.

"About 6 weeks is the normal period post operatively. Sometimes a return to school can be done in 4 or 5. It all just depends on how Peter's feeling and how well he's healing up."

"The boys are home schooled. Our neighbor teaches from her home. They live about 600 yards away and the hill is somewhat steep getting there and back." Dad explained.

"Oh okay. Maybe two and a half to three weeks then - the time period is basically dictated by his comfort level. His incision and the muscles underneath it will be very sore for a while. I'd say no strenuous activity for at least 8 weeks starting from the time of surgery. No lifting. There is to be no strenuous sexual activity, although sex is not a problem so long as it is comfortable and is not of the monkey variety. Masturbation and oral sex is okay but only when he gets comfortable enough. I'm afraid sexual intercourse will be very painful any way you look at it."

David broke down and laughed so hard I thought he was going to split himself ... but he didn't split himself however. When he regained some control he said "No monkey sex. Ha haa."

His laughter was infectious, even dad got into it. Dr. Rasmussen smiled over the antics then asked if we had any further questions. We had none so we left then stopped by the reception desk and made an appointment for 11:00am on Friday in Maui.


We arrived back on our island too late to go visit Matt so I called him when we landed. He was in good spirits. He said the physical therapists worked him very hard that day and that he was very sore. I told him to be good and to stay well.

When we arrived home, dad said "Peter, we need to talk about today. Go on back to my office and I'll be right there. Do you want a Coke to drink?"

"Yes, please. Thank you. I need to stop in the bathroom first, if that is okay?"

"That's fine. Take care of your business Peter. I'll see you shortly."

I kissed David tenderly on his lips then excused myself to the bathroom where I dumped a load of torpedoes. After washing up good, I walked into dad's office. He was waiting for me and said "Close the door son, please. This is just between us. You and me. Man to man."

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