Life on the Farm
After Sunday morning's breakfast, having already done our early morning chores, I was ready to take off for Rocky's place to help out with their chores. We'd planned on running the fence line all around the property; identify places that needed fixing, and then get down to business, fixing them.
On my way out the door, Dad told me to hold up, that he and Mom wanted to talk to me about a couple of things before I got 'too busy'.
It's true... every waking moment was spent doing chores here or there, or going into town for much needed supplies and various other and sundry things needed to make a farm successful.
Rocky and I worked well together. He showed me a lot of things that had to be done, that he knew how to do. On the things that neither he nor I knew how to do, well... we winged it. One thing that we did not know how to do was the replacement of a well pump. The well pump was something we'd never come across before. Once we determined that it had 220 volts running to it, we gave up any notions to fix it ourselves.
Kay called Dad. Of course, Dad came over, surveyed the scene, and announced that the bearings had gone out of the motor. As luck would have it, the pump was a common one, so all we had to do was to go into town, purchase it, and then install it.
After disconnecting the power supply from the main circuit breakers in the barn, he gathered up his tool pouch, took us to the well, then told us to get down in it, because Rocky would never know how to do it again, unless he did it himself.
I didn't realize that Rocky had been so beaten down in the head until he started whining to Dad that he'd just mess it up, "I can't do that. I'll end up electrocuting whoever touches a faucet."
"You will get down there, and you will fix it. This is your farm. I am just here to guide you. Now, get down there. James will help you. He needs to know how to do it, too. Work together, Boys."
For the next two hours, we manhandled crowbars trying to get the damn housing off of the motor apparatus. We got all but two bolts loosened and off the frame, but those last two would not budge no matter how much "English", and teenage boy words, we put on them. We even worked together. And... Even using our combined into one place strength, they would not budge.
Dad would not come down into the hole. The hole was way too small for his extra big and brawny size.
I got this wicked idea. Much to Dad's consternation, I took off for their barn to fetch a chain, thinking that all three (Dad mainly, who am I trying to kid!) of us could and would put proper leverage on the impact wrench to break those bolts free. All I could find was a large 6 foot chain... man that damn thing was heavy, but I managed to drag it to the hole. I was quite proud of myself when Dad patted my back, saying what a good idea I had thought of.
Rocky went back into the hole. I followed him in, slipped and landed on top of his back, sending us both into the muddy cesspool, laughing and carrying on all the while.
No, don't worry about my choice of words. It really was not a cesspool. The water coming in was fresh spring fed... once we'd popped the other 8 bolts loose, water escaped, and since it had a dirt floor... need I say more? No.
Dad, though smiling, really wasn't too crazy about being up on the ground with the blazing hot sun shining on his back. In short order, we had a chain link securely hooked onto a breaker bar that Dad had tossed down, and were clambering up out of the hole. Dad gave us some geometric lessons (ha ha, Dad, I just had to throw this in), and then urged us to put our body weight into it. The one bolt broke loose in nothing flat. I climbed down, hooked the tool onto the other bolt, climbed up, and then Rocky and I broke it free, too.
Rocky anxiously clambered down into the hole to loosen up the bolt the rest of the way. Not half a second later, bellowing up and out of the manhole (not that kind, silly) came, "GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH... fuck... the fuckin bolt broke off... son of a bitch."
Dad got down on his hands and knees, put his head over the entrapment area, and said to Rocky, "Those things happen, Rocky. It's not the end of the world. Come up out of there, we'll get the tools to do the job. It's no big deal, really. Give me your hand."
Then before I knew what hit, I found myself hanging over Dad's back looking down to the ground. Nearly at the same time, he reached for Rocky, but Rocky had already seen what Dad had done to me and stepped aside just in the nick of time. At the same time, I then saw a side of Rocky that I'd never seen before... his eyes were happily dancing as he rapidly looked between me and Dad... and he had on a great big smile.
As we were walking up, he was chattering about this, that, and everything. He was ahead of us four or five paces. A couple of times, unknown to Rocky (perhaps my giggles gave us away), Dad would speed up and reach for Rocky's britches... I knew what that meant... Dad was trying to grab hold so he could toss Rocky up on his other shoulder... Rocky would look back with a "What" expression on his face... I'd crack up. Dad had this most amused smile on his face... kind of like, "I'll get you... just you wait and see."
When we got up to the barn, Dad looked all around for a cast and die set so that he could drill out the old bolt. We couldn't find one, so Dad took off for our place to get a set.
Immediately, we tore up the stairs leading to the loft. While Rocky was lighting us up some smoke, I peed standing at the loft door. Rocky joined me, turned in such a way so that our streams met in the middle. Finished with that chore, Rocky leaned forward and let out a butt-flapping, air-splitting fart... Move over, Luke!
Rocky should have a patent on his facial expression that says, "What?" Then he winked and snapped the snaps on his coveralls back in place, dropped to the floor and sat on the ledge with his feet hanging over the side. I joined him.
In companionable silence, we sat side by side, with our shoulders and knees touching, just enjoying the quiet solitude on a hot and sunny early afternoon.
"Uhm, can I ask you a question?" Rocky asked, carefully, wonderingly.
"Sure. Let's get something straight... <giggle>..." Rocky giggled, too, saying, "Like that's ever gonna happen..." I retorted, "That's not what I meant... but since you mentioned it first, I told my Mom and Dad that I'm gay."
"Yeah, really. They were cool."
"My Mom's trying... really she is. I hate my Dad. I hate what he did to my Mom. I really don't care what he does to me, but now that I understand what actually went on around here... Mom didn't go into any gory details, but he hurt her... to the point where she couldn't have any more children. I had to open my big mouth and say that not having any more children with him was probably a good thing... I made her cry... God that hurt her more than anything. She even went to her room, closed the door, and didn't come out for the rest of the evening. After taking my shower, I went into her room... anyway, we slept together... I always get up early, right at the crack of dawn. Aunt Virginia was already up and had coffee made, so we talked about quite a few things... nothing too serious, really. Next weekend, we're going to her place to get some things done before the new people move in on the first of next month."
"So, is your Mom okay, now?"
"Yeah... heh heh heh, you know how women are about their kitchens, right?"
"Oh yeahhhh... the men in our family are forbidden to touch anything..."
"Yeah... anyway, I made breakfast for Mom and Aunt Virginia this morning... They were surprised, too. Mom asked me where I'd learned to cook... then she realized that I'd 'stolen' food from the cupboards when they were gone, or busy doing something else outside of the house. Mom was really upset, then she snapped out of it when I told her that guys can cook, too. Anyway, we had a nice time together."
I had to laugh. "I can't even boil water. So it's best that I stay out of the kitchen. Besides, and I'm serious, too, Mom's got the kitchen to herself... well, that's not entirely true... Stacy's a pretty mean cook. Her cinnamon rolls are to die for. Absolutely, they melt in your mouth. I'll save you mine the next time she makes them... they're dy-no-mite!"
"Cool." Rocky said, dreamily, halfway closing his eyes, then changed his mind, stood up and walked to the ladder leading up to and down from the loft where we were situated. Returning, he winked his eye, reached for the buttons on his coveralls, unsnapped them, allowed them to drop around his ankles, returned, sat down and scooted his underwear to meet his coveralls, then began toying with the smattering of pubes adorning his cute flat tummy.
You don't have to tell me twice. My coveralls and underwear were down in nothing flat. I scooted over so that I could be touching Rocky in an intimate way. I had my butt crack lying against this thigh and my leg wrapped around his. The touch of his warm soft skin had me over the edge. At the very last moment, I was able to open my eyes and observe the few droplets of sperm juice eject and roll down the length of my penis. I quickly came back, because I wanted to see Rocky jettison his hot sticky liquid. I wasn't disappointed, not in the least. When he settled back from his monster orgasm, I reached into his groin, grabbed hold of his penis and squeezed any last remaining drops, and in the process he experienced three aftershocks that caused his body to jump in response to the added stimulation. He took a deep breath, let it out, reached down and scratched that area between his essentials, then went on further down, separated his butt-cheeks and scratched there, too. While he was busy doing that, being the curious type that I am, I watched him. His butt labia are dark, deeply recessed, and oh so inviting. "What ya looking at?" Rocky asked curiously.
"Yup. Looks yummy." I replied, looking deeply into his eyes. Seeing nothing in his eyes that would tell me to stop, I urged his legs up toward his chest, at which time I went down for a very close inspection of his junk, and then without warning, suddenly consumed with a need to pleasure him, I took first one ball then the other and put them into my mouth, ran my tongue around them causing him to jump. Then I released his balls, but kept my tongue in action all the while, and moved down to his fine looking butt lips and took a tentative swipe. Pungent, very pungent, but not nasty smelling. No, not at all. His penis, casually lying across his right nut, began its upward trek... At first, Rocky tentatively put his hand on my head and gently attempted to push me aside, but then he sat back with his hands flat on the floor, and just let me do as I chose to do with his body... I sent, and he sensed, that I was not going to hurt him... my obsession of pleasuring him was nearly at the breaking point, but just as I poised my mouth over his penis to fully engulf it... he pulled away and stood up, reached for his underwear that had fallen off his ankles (with some help from me!), and started to put them on.
"What? Why?" I asked, sitting on my naked but, wondering what the heck happened.
"I can't. We'd better get dressed before your Dad gets back."
"Rocky... I just want to bring you pleasure. I don't want to hurt you. Please." I lamented, then decided to take a different track... simply because he stopped raising his underwear at mid-thigh. I took hold of his hand and urged him to at least sit down so we could talk about this some more, not that I was going to force anything to happen... Continuing, "Can we at least talk about it?"
Rocky started to say something, but stopped, then reversed the upward travels of his underwear and dropped them to the dirty, dusty plywood floor, sat down on them, and then said, "That felt really, really good, James... the best... the thing is, though, that I want your heart before I can give you mine... God, this sounds selfish... I'm not sure what I'm trying to say... give me a minute."
I put my arm around his shoulders, gently pulled him into my side... first he resisted, but gave in and permitted me to put both arms around him. Softly he said, "Jack me off?" He then turned so that his back was in my side, then he took hold of my hand, placed it on his member and made a couple of casual jerking motions. I don't know how he did it... he must be double jointed, or something... the reason I say this is because he reached around with his other hand, clamped hold of my extension and began jacking with earnest... sending me on a full speed ahead roller coaster, which slowed my efforts to please him to a near standstill... but, returning to the here and now, we developed cadence... lost in my orgasm, I could only squeeze... so hard, in fact, that he squealed, sounding as if he were in pain or something... he was only gurgling... he was lost in his own world... his eyes were closed, his forehead creased with pleasurable 'agony'...
Then he surprised me: Quickly he rolled over, took hold of my waving wand, then began licking away any droplets of "James Juice" that he could find... finished, he stood up, looked at the puddle of watery like fluid draining down through his pubes, running down his upper thighs. I sprang into action, wanting to taste his nectars once again... and I did just that... to the point of making him giggle as I washed his entire genital package with my hot and searching tongue. He stood there and took it like a Trojan... I gave him no alternative... it's hard to move around when your dick is in a mouth with its teeth gently (but decisively) resting against that very, very sensitive flesh... the sensations tend to lead toward immediate acquiescence. Not helping matters any is the fact that my hands were busily kneading that pair of golden fleshy orbs separating the valley where God split ya in half.
"You goof. Ohhh... James, get out of there, I've gotta take a shit." Rocky said anxiously as my finger retracted away from his back door.
"Do you want a hand full of shit?"
"Okay. Point taken. Come on. Your Dad's going to be here just any time."
He was right.
Rocky lit us cigarettes, then we headed down the stairs. He turned left and went into a stall while I went to the doorway to get some fresh air.
Dad came driving down the lane and stopped at the barn, got out, grabbed the tools, looked at me and said, "Where's Rocky?"
"He's taking a dump... he'll be here in a minute."
While we waited, Dad showed me the die set, how it worked, and what we needed to do in order to free up the buried part of the bolt.
Rocky returned, looked at the tools very carefully as I explained what Dad had told me.
Within an hour, the bolt was removed and replaced; the pump was then primed and ready to go. Rocky ran to the barn to flip on the electricity. Dad and I gathered up the tools and put them into the truck. Rocky came running at breakneck speed, dropped into the hold and hit the secondary breaker which fired up the pump. I was watching him the whole time... as soon as that motor kicked on; he looked up and gave Dad and me the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him, even before when Dad was goofing off with him.
Dad reached down a hand to pull him up, and then when Rocky broke the surface, he, too, was on Dad's shoulder, hanging upside down, squealing, demanding to be let down.
Then Rocky had a transition. It happened before anybody could have expected it... his bellows of laughter and merriment broke into loud racking sobs, uncontrollable sobs... he was heaving his guts at the same time. Dad, immediately sensing trouble, quickly took Rocky into his arms and held him tight... profusely apologizing for hurting him. Rocky wasn't physically hurt... not one bit was he physically hurt; rather he was having an emotional meltdown just like I'd had before.
Dad, too, knew what was happening. He sat him and Rocky down on the tailgate of the truck. I said, "I'll be up at the barn, okay, Dad?"
He nodded. I took off. Figuring they'd be a while, I took off up the stairs, grabbed a smoke, lit it, then went back downstairs, sat on a garden tractor, and waited... I'd wait for as long as it took... I knew what Rocky was experiencing. I knew Dad knew how to handle the situation, so I relaxed, leaned back, and was just nodding off when Dad and Rocky returned in the truck, stopping just outside the door.
I walked over to Rocky, stood in front of him for a moment, then put my arms out. He looked toward Dad, so did I, waiting for – what?
Finally, after a moment of silence, Dad said, "I'm done here, for now. You Boys be careful. I'll see you later."
With that, Dad got in the truck and drove out of the barnyard, got on the lane and soon was out of sight.
Once Dad was out of sight, Rocky walked over and accepted my hug. I whispered into his right hair covered ear, "You okay, now?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, now. I don't want to talk about it, okay? Not now. Your Dad helped me to see something that was confusing the hell out of me... I'm okay. Sorry, though, I don't want you to think that I'm a crybaby."
"Shush... I know what it's all about... being confused. Dad and I have had a couple of 'Come to Jesus' moments... he never put me down or made me feel like I was a pussy... instead he built me up."
"Yeah, that's what he did. I feel better, now, really I do." Rocky said, softly, then lowered his arms from my shoulders, looked down, sighed deeply and made a move to stand apart.
Gently, very gently, I tilted up his chin, looked deeply into his eyes, and then our lips came together, and we shared a very meaningful, but non-sexual kiss. Yes, our tongues came together, and yes, my dick got hard.. But our kiss was more than... I don't know what... I felt something deep inside of myself – move.
We pulled apart, looked into each others' eyes, then violently shuddered. Rocky said, seriously, with a grin on his face, "Woof!"
I howled like one of those prairie wolves. We both cracked up laughing.
We spent the next several hours replacing bolts and belts on the hay bailer in preparation for cutting hay the following day, provided it didn't rain again before then. When the last bolt was tightened, we stood back and admired our work, feeling like we'd accomplished something. We walked into the big barn. Rocky got up on the huge mega-size tractor, looked at me inquisitively... I couldn't read him. Satisfied with whatever it was that he was thinking, he fired up the tractor, went through a checklist, then with a smile put it into gear and began slowly moving the thing that had to have been 20 times, maybe 50 times bigger than we would ever think about being, and drove it out of the barn, then perfectly lined it up with the baler. I walked over to the machine and was just about ready to take hold of the hitch to attach them... but Rocky came around and body slammed me away from the apparatus, to the ground, and very angrily said, "Don't you ever do that again! You stay the fuck away from a moving machine until it is secured and shut down. Christ, man. Now get away, go stand over by the fence, I've got to get the tractor aligned properly."
Those words and the anger behind them took my breath away. He stood in place and continued to glare at me until I began walking toward the fence, but instead of leaning against it, I climbed up and over, and headed toward the creek that separated our properties, intent upon just going home. Besides, it was getting late in the day. I had my own chores to do. Plus, I needed to find out how Luke was doing, simply because he was my brother. If I needed to do his chores, then doing them would be no big deal. Arriving at the creek, I tossed my clothes to the ground, dove in head first, swam around for a few minutes to get the grime, grub, sweat and grunge off, then got out, shook out my hair, got dressed and was on my way to the house when Rocky came running through the woods, until he got to me, then stopped and said, "Look, I'm sorry that I yelled at you, but then again... James, I don't want you to get hurt, or worse. Forgive me, okay, please. You scared me, is all."
I nodded cautiously, then, finding my voice, "I don't do well with being yelled at. Sorry, well, I just got to thinking about some bad things that happened in a previous lifetime. It's no big deal, really it isn't. I don't think about that stuff very often."
"Yeah, I understand. Maybe my yelling is... well, it's how my Dad communicated with me. It was pretty fucked up, Man. Anyway, today is today. I'm sorry, really I am." He walked over, looked deeply into my eyes, then for the very first time, ever, he leaned in and very tenderly kissed my lips. His kiss was sincere, heartfelt and had a trace of passion behind it. I put my hands on either side of his face, returned his kiss, then we parted. Continuing, "James, can I help you do your chores? You've been doing mine for the past few days. It's only fair that I help you, too. Maybe we can talk on the way up to your house?"
"Yeah, sure." I said, then brought our lips together for a quick kiss. When we turned to head out, he put his arm inside my coveralls, grasped my side, and then we took off after I put mine in and on his.
We'd just made the clearing when he said, introspectively, "Uhm, I don't know how to say this... I've been thinking a lot... I don't mean to sound like I'm judging you..."
We both stopped at the very same moment, and very nearly tripped, because of the abrupt halt. Turning to him, I said, "What's up?"
He looked to the ground. I took hold of his chin and lifted up his face so that we could talk man to man. He looked away, until I said, "Rocky, just talk to me. Look into my eyes. I'm not going to bite you... not that I don't want to..." I giggled, hoping to break the tension that was clearly evident in his eyes, and apparent in his body language.
His eyes went wide open. Clearly he was shocked that I would say such a thing, but then his face softened, and he gave me one of his most beautiful soft, seductive, appealing and titillating smiles. I went to mush, right then and there, on the spot. My legs got shaky (no, not really, but it sounds good!), and my vision went acute. All I could see was him.
"Let's go to the rock. With me helping out, we'll get your chores done in no time." Rocky said, sincerely.
So we took off back down to the creek. When we arrived, I urged (and helped) Rocky take off his clothes, and then playfully pushed him into the creek... what I wasn't expecting, though, was him grabbing hold of a pocket on my coveralls and not letting go. There is just one little problem with going in like that: I landed on him, full force. We scrambled to the surface. We were both just fine, in fact we started laughing like crazy, thinking that was the craziest thing we'd ever done in our lifetimes... it could very well have been, that's for sure. And then, to top things off, Rocky got this most intense look in his eyes, then smiled, and began blowing bubbles in front of us and behind him... oh my God... "Ahhhh, that's better."
"I'd reckon... damn."
When we got back up to the bank, I sat behind Rocky, pulled him into my arms and held him firmly, waiting for him to talk. But, he wiggled loose, turned around so that he could look into my eyes, then slowly, passionately, said, "James, Dad fucked around on my Mom. When I was little he took me with him. It was sick. He'd get up and hit me till I sat back down on a chair or on the bed while he fucked... it was gross, Dude. I never understood why he did that."
"Yuck. He's sick, Rocky. Sick. Sick. Sick."
"Yuck is right. Mom doesn't know about it. It would kill her. So, please don't tell her."
"Oh, I'm so sorry... I won't say anything."
Rocky nodded. His expression then went from assured to questioning. He was deeply contemplating something. He reached over, picked up a piece of green grass and put it in his mouth, sucked on it, scrunched his face, then got up, climbed down the rock to the bank below, walked to the left and then bent over and strained.
I dove off the rock into the water to wash away the sweat releasing from my body because of the heat and thick humidity. When Rocky finished his business, he too dove in, swam over, took my arm in his, and led me back up on the rock.
"Sorry about that... uhm, okay, please don't get pissed at me... here's what's on my mind..."
He looked deeply into my eyes... I felt like I was being stripped naked... even though I was already naked, and so was he. This stripping was different, though. A thought came into my head – he was stripping my mind, tearing away what I knew, or that which I thought I knew, then he brushed away a tear and got right to it, "James, I feel like I'm falling in love with you, but I'm afraid. I'm petrified. You see, I keep wondering if you'll find someone else... I mean you already do love somebody else – Seth."
I started to say something, but he put his fingers to my lips to shush me... not in a bad sort of way. Rather, I realized he wasn't finished... and I, too, got afraid and confused...
Continuing, "James, sorry..." I took hold of his hand and held it firmly. He nodded and went on, "I don't know anything about having a relationship with someone, so excuse me as I try to come to grips with what I'm feeling... feelings are new to me, also. Sorry, James... I don't know how else to say this: I'm afraid that you'll find somebody else – like you have with Seth. I sense that you have loved and continue to love him, while, at the same time, you are saying and doing things to me. That's it. I'm just afraid. I'm really afraid. I'm scared shitless... so until I work this out in my mind... I'm going to not give... I can't. I know... this is very selfish of me... I'm so sorry." Tears sprang from his eyes. Instead of staying to listen to me try to figure this all out, he got up, reached for his underwear, stuffed them into a pocket, then put on his coveralls, jumped down off the rock, and then took off, running like a deer toward his pasture.
I'm not sure that I totally understand why I started crying... no, I started sobbing uncontrollably. My chest was heavy. My mind started and continued spinning.
Then I realized that he was right... that I was hurting him, and Seth, too. I didn't know exactly what to do, or to think. What was the right thing to do?
Then I heard voices... they were coming closer and closer... sticks were breaking... and then Thomas popped his head up and over the rock, then Sandy jumped up and took me into her arms, held me and let me wail out my pain. She just held me, not saying anything. Thomas worked his way up. He sat on my other side and put his hand on my shoulder.
Soon, though, I regained composure, leaving only an occasional deep hiccup in the wake of my emotional melt-down. I took a deep breath, looked at Thomas, then to Sandy. Sandy, her eyes sad, but confident, said softly, "Wanna talk about it?"
I shrugged my shoulders. Feeling buggers slopping out of my nose and running down and off my chin, I got up and walked to the rocks' edge, then did a 'farmer' style nose blowing, but instead of it flying away, it deflected downward, landing fully on my dick, slithering a strand of hock that hung limply from it.
Thomas giggled. Sandy rolled up her eyes. Molten hot sensations screamed upward, downward, outward from left to right, from my heart. I walked to the edge, did a flying leap into the creek, then immediately came up, looked down to make sure the goober was gone and nowhere else. Satisfied it was gone, I climbed up the rock and sat back down, not looking at them as I was, still, embarrassed beyond words. At some point during the dive, the messing around with my dick, or climbing up, perhaps through all three, I was hard as a missile, so I closed my legs to hide it.
Sandy chuckled, "You're all boy, James. Don't worry bout it."
Now, that sure didn't help anything. Once again, the heat, no, molten hot waves engulfed my body. Thomas giggled, but then turned serious and said, "So, what's up?"
I groaned. Another wave of embarrassment searched out each and every pore, but Sandy came to the rescue, "NO, James, that's not what he means! Boys! Men! Is that all you guys think of?"
Thomas laughed, "Yeah, definitely, no kidding. <Turning serious>. So, what's going on, James? Are you ready to talk about it?"
I turned to Thomas, shrugged slightly, then, pushing away a wave of sadness, said, "Uhm, well, Rocky and I talked a little while ago... he walked away, but not before telling me that... I mean, what I'm trying to say is that I fu... I mean, sorry, screwed up..."
I then went on and told them what Rocky had said, how I knew he was right, and not knowing how I could or would deal with the truth. They patiently listened, acknowledging every now and again, then, when I was finished, when everything was out, I looked up with expectations that they would think I was bad, that I fucked up, that I was hurting two people that I cared for the most, that there was no way out.
That changed, though, when Sandy offered, "James, the solution to most problems is communication. Have you had a chance to talk to Seth about what you're feeling?"
"No. I mean we've missed each other."
"Keep trying. As long as you two do not talk, then the problem's just going to get deeper... let me ask you something... have you and Rocky become intimate?"
"Yeah, kinda." I replied as a wave of heat passed through my body, from the tip of my hairs to the end of my toes.
Sandy said, "I'm going to go hunting for mushrooms. You and Thomas talk. This is guy stuff." She kissed my cheek, got up, made her way down and took off into the trees, leaving Thomas and me alone.
I looked to Thomas. He took a deep breath, then gave me the look that said I was to start talking, "I... we... well, we've jacked off a few times... Thomas... when we hug and kiss... I mean, wow, we uhm... well... let's just say we both mess our pants... I've never had that happen before."
"Heh, you're 12 years old... it happens... let me ask you a question: what do you feel inside... you know, when you two aren't together?"
"That's what everybody says... I'm a boy."
"Well, you are!"
I giggled, "I guess... I feel different with Rocky... I can't explain it. It's like 'wow'... he's really deep, Thomas. He seems to know me better than I know myself."
"Heh, I understand... Sandy knows me better than I know myself, too. It's not bad, really. She brings, she makes me think of things that I would not have thought about before. It's all good, James."
"So, what am I supposed to do?"
"Call Seth. You owe him your feelings. Somehow, I don't think he's going to kick you in the teeth. One thing I'll suggest: I'll talk to Dad about taking a day or two away... I'll take you down, because you guys need to talk in person, eyeball to eyeball. This way you can speak your hearts."
I looked into Thomas' eyes. I saw only love and understanding, then a bit of orneriness, and then went into action. Then before I could do anything, I found myself sailing through the air, landing into the creek, butt first, screaming and hollering all the way down.
"Hey Tony, is Seth around?" I asked, calling them to try and talk to Seth.
Tony replied, "Actually, he's over at Adam's. Adam bumped his boat into the dock, scratching the vessel. They're buffing out the scratches and scrapes."
"Oh wow, is he okay?"
"Yes, he's just fine though his pride is a bit hurt and bruised. So, are you ready for the hearing on Tuesday? This is a big milestone for you, James."
"Yup, I'm ready. I'm excited. Really I am. Thank you, Tony. I love you for this. I love you anyway, but especially getting a family for me." For the second time that day, I broke down, spilling my emotions all over the place. This time, though, I reached for the Kleenex box, not wanting to take another chance of goofing it up since I had taken a bath and had on clean clothes. "Sorry about that."
"No problem, James. I'll have Seth call you. I know he's anxious to see and talk to you. Maybe you two will have some time to just be alone on Tuesday, while us old fuddy duddies have a chance to finalize everything. Would that work?"
"That would be great. Tony?"
"That's my name."
I giggled. I hadn't heard that in a while. Then I got serious and said, "Tony, I have a friend here. We're, uhm... we're close friends. We're very close friends, if you know what I mean."
"James, we've known each other for quite a few months... why don't you just tell me how close you are. I'm not going to come down on you. Seth and I have had several conversations about the relationship you and he have been struggling to maintain."
"Well, we're close, Tony. Tony?"
"I don't want to hurt Seth."
"I know. He doesn't want to hurt you either. You boys need to talk to each other. I'll arrange it so that you guys can talk about what's going on in your lives. Would this work? I'd rather you boys talk about this in person, not over the phone."
"That's what Thomas, my big brother, says. I'm sorry, Tony. I hope this doesn't hurt Seth."
"He's going to be okay. So are you, James. Both of you are going to be just fine. Stay friends, okay... you two are close... we can never have enough very close friends... think of it like this... the relationship you and Seth have will only be changing, I'm sure."
On Monday morning, I was surprised to see Rocky sitting on the steps when we took out of the house to do morning chores. Mom invited him in, but he said that he needed to talk to me before starting his own work.
We took off for the barn to check on the newborn horse.
Last night it was standing on its own, taking nourishments from his mother, and playing, too. Dad was going to release it into the pasture later this morning, once he checked on it one last time.
Rocky was fascinated that I knew so much about our horses. They had none. His dad had said they were nothing more than a pain in the ass. I told Rocky that I'd talk to Dad to see if we could give him the horse that had just been born. He liked the idea, but he'd have to check with his mom, first.
While I was shoveling shit, Rocky got up in the loft and tossed down a bale of straw to freshen the stall for the horses. Now, mind you, I am not anywhere as strong as Thomas, but I managed to drag/push/pull/curse and swear that bale of hay where it was supposed to be.
Finished with that chore, we took off for the machine shed where we put Dad's tools up that had been used yesterday. While there, Rocky said, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt you, honest. It's just that I'm so afraid..."
"No. You're right. I talked to Thomas. He didn't come right out and say that I was wrong... I figured it out for myself... I'm the one that owes you an apology. I'm sorry for hurting you. It's the last thing that I would ever do to you... I hope you truly understand this."
"I understand. James, I don't want to hurt you either. It's just better this way. This way nobody gets hurt." Rocky said assuredly. But, I wasn't finished, yet.
Continuing, thinking, choosing my words carefully, "You know me better than I know myself. Thomas says this is a good thing. He says that we can be blinded... you know... we can't see ourselves as well as other people can see us. Anyway, Seth and I are going to get together to talk tomorrow when I go to court for the adoption. Tony, his Dad, is going to make sure Seth comes with him."
"What are you going to tell him?"
"The truth is… Rocky, I love him. He was the first friend I'd ever had, ever. Thomas told me there are different kinds of relationships. There is love, and then there is love. It's all kind of confusing..."
"Just don't let me influence your confusion. And, don't break up with Seth just because of me... I couldn't stand it if this happened."
"Don't worry, Rocky. This whole thing is something I have been thinking about before I knew you. Thanks, though." I snickered, "Wanna mess your pants?"
"Heh, my Mom embarrassed the hell out of me last night... she was wondering what the dry crusty stuff was in my underwear... she thought I had an infection, or something."
"Oh my God... I hadn't even thought about that. Ahhh geeze. I wonder if my Mom..."
"Probably... you squirt."
"Did you tell your Mom what it was?"
"Oh, hell no. Not directly... anyway... I just told her that I'm a guy."
We came together. I put my hands around his back and lowered them into his underwear, as Rocky did to me, and then our lips came together, hungrily searching for and finding tonsilar tissues. And, yes, our underwear dampened.
We arrived in Wichita at about 8:15. Court was scheduled for 10:00. We stopped in at Waffle House for breakfast. Mom and Dad had coffee while I had an unlimited supply of orange juice. The mood was light. The atmosphere was relaxed. We were all looking forward to this experience.
While Mom and Dad were drinking their coffee after eating, I took off for the restroom, went into a stall, locked the door, lowered my jeans, sat down, took a massive crap, wiped good, flushed and got myself put together just as someone else entered the bathroom.
I opened the stall door and headed to the sinks. Casually I glanced to the urinal to see who had come in... My heart stopped. Unable to stop myself, I walked to the hunky guy standing there peeing like a race horse, put my arms around him, reached down, grasped his dick and squeezed it firmly.
Surprised to all hell, Seth turned his head around and saw that it was me. He went crazy with excitement... I mean, who would have thunk we'd meet in the restroom of a restaurant, both of us hours from home, as fate would have it, we met in the middle. At the same time, Seth's dick was responding, stiffening up, but everything came to a crashing halt when Tony entered.
I quickly backed away from Seth, but it was too late. We'd, or I was busted. Quickly, Seth zippered up, then we both turned around and looked at Tony. Tony was shocked to have found us in the position we'd been in, and were in. I didn't even bother to look down my belly, to see what my dick looked like behind my jeans. It was hard. It was raging. Almost out of control. It was quivering... I felt it... all of it.
I looked into Seth's face... his appeared just as shocked as I felt mine to be.
Tony just said, "You boys need to talk. I'll make sure you two get some time after the hearing." Tony walked to a urinal, started his business while Seth and I went to the sink to wash our hands. While we were busy doing this, I looked down to Seth's jeans, and then to mine. We were both obscenely tenting out the two layers of cloth separating dick from open air. When my hands were dry, I reached down and rearranged myself so that it was pointing down. Seth did the same. His dad came between us and started washing his hands while we stepped away and dried ours.
Nothing was said. Nothing needed saying.
Returning to Mom and Dad, I sat down. Dad said, "Is everything okay? You're limping."
I looked into his eyes... there was absolutely no room for interpretation. There was no doubt that he expected an honest answer, and he wanted it now. When Tony and Seth came and sat down next to us, Dad's gaze never wavered. Quickly, I looked to Seth, sitting next across the table from me, next to Mom.
"It hurts. It started hurting yesterday, Sir." Why is it when something hurts, it hurts even more when attention is placed upon the reason why. I do not understand that. Just like I do not understand a lot of things, like why I'd gone to Seth, grabbed his wand, and was ready to jump his bones right then and there.
"You've been limping for a couple of days. Why haven't you said anything?"
"It's not that bad, Dad. Honest."
"Mom, we have all day..."
"I'll get him an appointment. <Turning to me> James, we're your parents. If something is wrong, we need to know about it. The doctor is going to want to know how long you've been hurting. Be honest with me."
"I'm always honest with you, Mom. Uhm, well, maybe a couple of days... Ma'am, I don't need to go to the doctor... I've been there before... they say that everything is healing up just like it's supposed to be."
"We'll let the doctor decide on what's right and wrong. What else do you need to tell us? You're hanging back."
I looked to Dad, then to Mom, then to Seth, then to Tony. Tony said, "Mr., Mrs. Richardson, Seth and I drove up here in the coach. Let's go talk in private. The boys need to work out an issue. They are going to need our assistance, as parents."
When we got out there, inside, and sat down, I looked to Seth, but Dad had other ideas. He took hold of my head and turned it to him, and said, "What is going on? Why has your demeanor changed?"
"Uhm, Sir, I don't want to get Seth in trouble..."
Tony said, "Seth isn't in trouble. Like I said in the restroom, you two boys need to talk, and we are here to listen, to offer a suggestion or two, and to make sure this gets resolved today, right now."
Seth started to open his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, "Mom, Dad, I put Seth into a compromising situation back in the restroom. <I turned to Seth>. Seth, I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you... I've met someone I want to fall in love with. We already love each other... we're really, really good friends."
For some reason, Seth sighed a deep breath, which prompted him to say, "Me too. I mean, I have a boyfriend, sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry."
I don't know... maybe I was holding out with hope that we could work things out... yet, at the same time, I knew we couldn't. His words hurt. But then I thought about what my words meant to him. I said, "I'm sorry, too. I never wanted to hurt you. I swear. I love you, Seth... I swear... I never ever want to hurt you."
Seth nodded, "Me either. Uhm, <Seth looked to my Dad and Mom, then to his Dad, then to me>. Continuing, "I've been unfaithful to you, James. His name's Jim. I don't want to get into details... he brought something out of me that I'd been denying for as long as I can remember."
"Rocky has been bringing stuff out of me, too. I've finally been able to admit and say that I'm gay. We haven't had, I mean, well, we, God, this is hard <I looked to Mom>, then I just took a deep breath and said, knowing that I had to be honest with them, too, "We haven't had real sex... but... well... maybe so, just not in the way that you and I had, Seth."
"I understand... Jim and I have been intimate, and we've done things, we've been in situations that I'd never put you into, but it is okay for me... really it is... it's something that I've hidden deep down inside. He probably knows more about me than I know about myself."
I had to snicker, albeit nervously, "Same here, Bro. Same here. He helped me to understand that what I've been doing to you is wrong. And, he's brought some things out of me that I didn't even know."
"Friends?" Seth asked hopefully.
"Friends forever. I love you, Seth. I always will. You were there when nobody was. Oh, I mean Adam was there, but it's different."
Mom offered, "You two are close in age. Many times, you young people understand each other better than we parents can. I know this is difficult for you, James, and for you, too, Seth. He talks of you often... it's all good. I'm really glad that you two are able to talk about this... I know it has been hanging over James' head, even though he hasn't said so in words. Why don't you boys talk, alone, for a while we adults talk about a few things related to your adoption. We'll be just outside."
When the adults exited the vehicle, I turned to Seth, "Seth, I'm not breaking up with you because of the sex that Rocky and I haven't yet had. Our, yours and my relationship is changing because I can't keep doing you wrong. Oh, I want to have sex with Rocky, but he's holding back because of you and me. He doesn't want me to do anything to hurt you, and neither do I. And, yes, I want to jump your bones in the worst possible way – right now – but..."
"Yes, I want to jump your bones, too. James, you might as well know about me... we've talked about things that Dad doesn't know all about, yet. I don't know when I'll tell him... or even how..."
"Are you ashamed?"
"No... That's not what I... well, maybe... uhm, yeah, yes."
"So what is it? Do you have a girlfriend on the side? Is she preggers?" I asked, winking.
"Oh, no way, Dude. Me ain't gonna be jumping in no pussy. No, Sir. No way. Uhm, Jim and I are into dominance... I like for him to dominate me... he ties me up; smacks me around a little, but not too much, he knows when to stop, and then we make beautiful love."
"He smacks you around, and he ties you up, and you love it and him... what the fuck, Dude? Is he hurting you? I'll fucking..."
"James... don't. Chill out. It's a side of me that I've long hidden. He doesn't hurt me. But I like to play the game... plus, I have a secret password that will tell him to stop... I've used it once just to make sure that I can trust him... implicitly, I trust him with my life."
"So how did you meet? I mean..."
"He works in the fast stop place where we gas up, next to the restaurant on the water. Anyway, we met there, and became fast friends, but it's more than just fast friends... I love him. And, James, I love you. Really, honestly I do."
"Does he have a big dick? I just ask because mine isn't big, at all. Oh, I started squirting a little bit..."
"You did – kewl! Way to go! Oh yes, he has a big dick. James, your dick is perfect, just as it is. It will grow as you grow... by the way, you're looking good. You look healthy and happy, despite your worries... now, what's this about your hip?" Seth said, derailing our conversation a full 180.
Quickly, I sent out daggers to derail the conversation back, but, but the look in his eyes told me that he was concerned, and always would be concerned, so much so that he got up, walked over and sat down beside me, wrapped his arm around my shoulder, then when I looked up – we kissed, deeply. As was normal for us, our tongues began the dance, but, then, just as quick as it had started, we separated, breathing heavily.
"I feel better already." I snickered, then began flapping my shirt in an exaggerated fashion to indicate that he had heated me up, just like always. I didn't even have to look down to see that my dick was distending my shorts, though I did peek down to see Seth's snake reaching down the legs of his shorts... my God, the dude wasn't wearing underwear! He'd always worn underwear... with my mouth fully agape; I became obsessed at seeing the head of his penis poking its eye out from under the covers, so to speak.
Told ya I was obsessed... I reached over to take hold of it... Seth, though, took hold of my wrist and guided its trajectory into another direction. He then stood, rearranged his parts, sat back down, looked into my eyes and said, "James, if things were the way they used to be, we would be lying on that bed in there, busting our nuts into next week... but things are different, now. Think of it like this: if you and I had sex right now, then we would be hurting those we love. I love you, James, but in a different way... I've thought about this a lot... you and I, we have something very, very special... a friendship... let's just not let anything fuck it up, okay? Please."
I smiled. We embraced tightly. Seth had grown, in more than one way. I groaned when he squeezed me hard, then let go. We parted. Seth grew this weird look on his face, winked, "Can we see each other one last time? I won't do anything, I promise... I just want to see you."
Not knowing exactly what he meant, the meaning became very, very clear when a rush of scalding hot liquid coursed through my veins when he grasped the snap on his shorts, unzipped and let his garment fall to the floor, at which time he raised up his shirt so that all his goods were on display.
In a few short weeks.
I raised up the hem of my shirt, pulled it over my head, casually flicked it to the sofa, reached for the fastening of my pants, released the hasp, then in one fluid motion dropped my pants and underwear to around my ankles.
"You are too! Damn, Dude... it's beautiful. Woof."
Then, unceremoniously, Seth bent down, gathered his shorts and pulled them up, covering his fully inflated love organ. I followed suit, and was just pulling my shirt over my chest when Tony opened the door and entered the coach.
Tony looked at Seth, then to me, then back to his son. He didn't say anything, though.
I said, "Can we have a couple more minutes... I need to tell Seth something; we'll be out."
Tony nodded, "It's getting time to head for the courthouse. Judge Richter is a stickler for being on time. Two minutes."
I looked to Seth, "It hurts. It hurts all of the time. Some days are better than others... today, it's pretty bad, but I can't give in. I won't give into it. I refuse..."
"Just get yourself 'well', okay, just being Mr. Tough Guy all the time. You've got a very gentle, soft, caring and loving heart on the inside... let it out, James. Let it fly free. If there's something wrong with your leg, then get it fixed... you don't have to live in pain all your life... you got good folks, they'll look after ya... I just know they will... and you know what?"
I shook my head 'no'.
"They already are. Go get adopted! It's way kewl to have folks who care about ya."
I nodded, knowing he was right, and once again was reminded that he knows me better than I know myself. We came together. I wrapped my arms around his waist, dropped my hands down, then when we kissed, my hands went into his shorts and felt around, and said, "I just wanted to get a good feel... I'm done... don't be mad."
Mad? No way. He pulled me into him tight, then forced his hand down inside of my underwear, immediately went to my hole and pushed hard against my back door... causing a shard of pain to extend up into my belly and on into my chest...
I'm glad I was facing toward the door... because Tony opened it, walked up the two steps, leaned over into the driver's seat... because everything was happening so fast, Seth quickly extracted his hand, pulled me in, whispered, "I'm sorry. I forgot... I'm sorry."
With that, Seth turned and exited the vehicle, leaving me standing there all alone.
Tony came into the coach. I guess I must have had shock and surprise on my face, because he said, "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"No... Well, maybe I am... this is hard for both of us... I mean... this is just really hard. Can I go, now?"
Bailiff: All rise. The honorable Judge William H. Richter, presiding family court judge for the county of Sedgwick, Kansas.
Once everybody was standing, the Judge sat down and said, "You may be seated. I understand that we have an adoption on the docket this morning. Please read the plea, Mr. Bailiff."
Bailiff: Yes, Sir. This matter is the adoption of a one James Edward Talley, a minor child, a legal resident of the State of Kansas for his entire life. Case number 12-00013.
Judge: Thank you, Bailiff. Are the parties of this action present?
Bailiff: Yes, Sir. Master James is represented by counsel, Anthony Lorenzo, Esquire. Mr. Lorenzo is duly licensed in the State of Kansas to practice law, Sir.
Judge: Very well. Welcome to my courtroom. Are all parties assembled?
Bailiff: Would all parties to this action please rise.
Quickly, I stood. Mom and Dad stood next to me, one on either side. Dad put his hand on my back; Mom took my hand in hers. Tony was already standing.
Just then, a lady entered the otherwise empty courtroom. The judge looked up, nodded, and motioned for her to be seated at the defense table (right side). I didn't recognize her. But then Mr. Good entered. He had a very concerned look on his face. My body tensed. My already sore butthole squeezed closed all that much harder…
Judge: Mr. Good, you are late to the proceeding. This court holds you in contempt. There is no excuse.
Mr. Good: Your honor, if you please.
The judge immediately took on a very grumpy expression, thought for a moment, then said, "Very well. Make it brief."
Mr. Good: Your Honor, Mrs. Stein, The Prosecutor for the County of Sedgwick, and I have been in conference concerning this action. I beg the court for forgiveness and latitude as this matter has just come to my attention.
Judge: And just what will that be, Mrs. Stein? Why are you here? First, for the record, please identify yourself.
Mrs. Stein: Your honor, my name is Janet Stein, Attorney at Law, also the Prosecutor for the county of Sedgwick, Kansas. I am here to serve the subject of this matter a summons to appear before family court for theft and deception.
Tony: Your Honor, I object. Relevance to this petition for adoption.
Judge: I am inclined to sustain your objection, Mrs. Stein, please be specific.
Mrs. Stein: Very well. Thank you, Your Honor.
My stomach tightened. My throat constricted. First my right leg then my left one shook. A shiver passed through my body. A small fart, which I had been holding, evaporated into my underwear, making a small noise. I looked to Dad, shrugged my shoulders, truly not knowing what was going on... I had no clue.
Mrs. Stein, continued, "Your Honor, the State of Kansas has clear and convincing evidence that young Mr. Talley did willfully and knowingly and unlawfully steal and negotiate a maintenance and support check in the amount of $582.16 on or about July 3rd of last year. This check was issued by the State of Kansas. The signature affixed to said instrument was signed and cashed by a one, "James Talley". The complaint was signed and filed by his mother on May 6th of last year."
Judge: I see. I assume you can produce, to the court, all evidence supporting your allegations.
Mrs. Stein: Yes, Sir.
She then handed the bailiff some papers. He took it to the judge. The judge looked to me... the expression was pure unadulterated displeasure. Dad leaned down to my ear, "James, is this true?" Tony looked down, too. They were both awaiting my answer.
I looked to the floor, knowing that the charge was true. Dad took my chin, lifted it so that I was looking at him. He said, "Look at me when I ask you a question... is it true?"
"Yes, Sir. It's true. I stole it." I knew everything was now all fucked up. I knew being with a family was too good to be true. This was it. The words Mr. Good had told me about going to a juvenile facility were true, too. If this family didn't work out, then that, juvenile, is exactly where I would end up, and it would be where I would stay until I was 18 years old. Now, it was happening. And there was nothing I could do about it... except... I was totally fucked... From the little bit of what I'd heard from some classmates that had been in the juvenile system... detention was not a place where I wanted to be... and I would not go there.
I looked to the door leading into and exiting the courtroom. I looked to the Judge... he was reading and entering some stuff into the computer on the bench. The prosecutor was looking straight ahead at the judge, as was Tony, as was Mr. Good, as was Mom, as was Dad. The bailiff, however, was looking directly into my eyes. I had to look away. If ever there was somebody who was getting to me – it was him.
Could I run? I mean, could I physically run?
I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not.
Could I stay where I was... just waiting? No.
Could I go to juvenile? No.
I took a deep, deep breath.
I looked to the door... then...
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. If the email address pastes with %40 in the middle, replace that with an @ sign.]