The Life of Matt Summers, Part 3
by Flaming Matt
"Please Sarah, I can't deal with all this, just let me tell him and then we can all do what we have to do, but I need to tell him now please Sarah." Ben then states and this time Sarah pays attention to the boy in front of her and she can see how scared and nervous he is and knows that she is making it worse.
"Ben I can't leave, so I will sit out here and out of sight, that way I can also stop anyone from interrupting you, otherwise a doctor or nurse could just walk in." Sarah then tells him in a firm, yet caring tone and she can see him thinking over what she had just said.
"Can you give me a cuddle please?" Ben then asks, he is happy that she had thought about staying and keeping others out, but he needed some support and comfort before he went back in.
Sarah doesn't say anything and just pulls her sons boyfriend in for a warm and loving cuddle, she kisses the top of his head and just holds him for as long as he needs.
"I'm scared Sarah." Ben then says as he pulls back from the cuddle and looks up at his boyfriends mum.
"Me too, but you were right and he needs to hear it from us and he has made it clear that it has to be you and I believe in you Ben, I will be right out here and if you need me just shout and I will come straight in." Sarah says reassuringly and leans down to give him a kiss on the forehead, she knows this might be too much for the young boy to handle, but they all knew it had to be him to do it and she just hoped that she was doing the right thing.
Without saying another word, Ben turns to his boyfriends hospital room and walks to the door, he was half wishing something or someone would stop him because he knew as soon as he went in and closed the door then there was no going back, but when nothing stops him, he just sighs slowly opens the door and walks in and is instantly greeted by the sight of his scared looking boyfriend, he gives him a weak smile and then walks over to each of the blinds and pulls them shut so no one will be able to look in, he then walks over to his boyfriend and sits on the edge of the bed, taking hold of one of his boyfriends hands with both of his and looks at him lovingly.
"I don't think you should have let him do this Sarah." Mike says in a concerned tone, he had rejoined her a few minutes after Ben had gone back into the room with the box for his son and was surprised and confused when Sarah practically dragged him to the chairs.
"I know, but we talked about this before and he was so sure that Matt was starting to remember and if we let him find out from some nightmare Mike, then who knows what it will do to him." Sarah answers, although the truth was she instantly regretted letting the young boy go back into the room herself, but it was too late now and she had to just have faith that this was for the best.
"I should go in." Mike then says, seemingly ignoring what Sarah had just told him but just as he tries to stand up he feels her hand firmly take a hold of his arm and he knows he isn't going anywhere.
"The truth is the only other person who could be in there is Mitch and he is in no state to even know that this is happening and before you say it Mike, I don't think either Wesley or Carter know about the rape so having them in there would be a disaster waiting to happen, we just have to be here for whatever happens after they finish talking." Sarah than says, she is finding the whole situation frustrating and frightening, to lose her son again if he goes back into his shell is almost too much for her to think about and for it to happen just after she had been reunited with him would destroy her.
"Come here." Mike then says, as he sits down and pulls her into his chest and cuddles her.
"Ben say something please." Matt says nervously, they had been sitting in silence for almost five minutes and he could tell his boyfriend was afraid to speak to him.
"Matt, are you sure you're ready, I don't want to lose you and neither does anyone else, we all love you too much." Ben then says, but can only look at his boyfriend with a sad expression.
"You have to tell me, because I think I already know and I don't like it Ben, if I know the truth at least I can deal with it, so please just tell me." Matt then says and uses his free hand to pull his boyfriends head close enough to kiss him.
"I don't think I can Matt, I'm sorry but I can't do this." Ben suddenly says and pulls away from his boyfriend and gets off the bed looking scared.
"Ben please, just tell me Ben." Matt pleads, he knows he can't stop his boyfriend leaving and can only hope he doesn't.
"YOUR DAD RAPED YOU MATT!" Ben then shouts out before holding his hands over his mouth and looking at his boyfriend, who was just looking at him blankly and he wondered what he had just done and was petrified he had messed everything up.
"Let me go Mike, I need to go in." Sarah almost shouts, they had both heard what Ben had shouted out and she had tried to get up and get in the room, but Mike had held her tightly and wouldn't let go.
"Sarah, you need to let them talk, if they need us they will let us know." Mike says as he tries to calm her down, just a few minutes ago he was the one who had wanted to go in, but he knew right now that it would be a disaster and they needed to let the boys talk alone.
"Mike I need to see him." Sarah says as she tries to get up again.
"Sarah if you go in now you could upset him, just give them a chance to talk, please Sarah just give them a chance." Mike states, he wanted to go into the room as well but he knew it would be the worst thing either of them can do and he had faith that his youngest son could make them proud and get his boyfriend through this.
"He what?" Matt asks, breaking the silence that had built up and he couldn't quite process what his boyfriend had told him.
"He raped you." Ben then repeats and again his boyfriend gives him the same blank stare and he suddenly remembers that his boyfriend doesn't know what rape is. "He put his penis in your bum and er... fucked you, the doctors said he did it violently and brutally." He then explains in an almost robotic tone and he can see the blank look turn into one of fear and sadness.
"But he can't." Matt says in a sad tone, he knew his dad had basically tortured him, but this was worse, this was disgusting and there was no way his dad could do that to him.
"I'm so sorry Matt." Ben then says, he can't think of anything else he can say and really wishes Jordan was there, he would be able to help and he should have made his boyfriend wait until Sunday.
"We were going to be each others first though." Matt then states, he couldn't think straight and was struggling to stay in control, Ben however could feel his heart breaking after his boyfriends words, they had mirrored his own when his brother had told him and he instinctively moved over to his boyfriend for comfort.
"Matt I love you." Ben then says, he tries his best to sound confident but he knows it sounded nervous and decided to reach out and take a hold of his boyfriends hand and is half surprised that he didn't pull away.
"But he is my dad Ben and he hates gay people, why would he do that if he hated gay people." Matt then asks, he is trying his best to not freak out, but if truth be told the only reason he wasn't was because he was too confused, he just didn't understand and wanted answers.
"Your dad is a monster Matt, I wish it wasn't true I really do, but he is a bad man just like Mr Jones was Matt." Ben then says and instantly sees that his words had got his boyfriends full attention.
"What?" Matt asks and Ben can hear the anger in his friends voice.
"Matt please don't hate me, I love you and I don't want to lose you." Ben quickly states and can feel the tears rolling down his face.
"I don't want to have been raped though." Matt says in a sad tone and drops his head to his waist and starts to cry.
"Sshh it's okay, I'm here and I love you so much Matt." Ben says as he slowly gets on the bed and holds his boyfriend in a warm and loving cuddle and just lets him cry on his chest while he gently rubs his back. "We all love you and are here for you Matt." He then adds and begins to rub the back of his boyfriends head before kissing the top of it lovingly and just held him.
"Is that why I can't take a shit any more?" Matt suddenly asks out of the blue, they had been in silence for almost twenty minutes and the only sounds were him crying and his boyfriend telling him that he loved him.
"Huh?" Ben responds, he had thought of hundreds of questions his boyfriend might ask, but that was not one of them and he was worried that his boyfriend might have broke.
"Well I never pee or shit, I know the catheter is why I don't pee, but mum just said I shit when I'm asleep, but that doesn't make any sense and that must mean my dad broke my bum and I won't be able to shit any more." Matt then explains and leaves his boyfriend almost speechless and resisting the urge to laugh, on another day without all that has happened he knew his boyfriend would laugh with him, but he knew if he laughed right now, he would lose his boyfriend and he couldn't risk losing him.
"No your mum was telling the truth, well sort of anyway..." Ben begins to explain, but his boyfriend interrupts him.
"Sort of?" Matt asks, he is trying his best to distract himself from what his dad actually did to him and hoping if he just takes it a little at a time he can keep in control, but he can feel his body trembling slightly already and knows he is already struggling.
"I asked the doctors weeks ago, because I never saw you shit and I have been with you most of the time and they told me it was because you aren't eating much because they are giving you all the stuff your body needs through the IV thing, but you have shit a few times when you were sedated and asleep, but it wasn't that bad and they cleaned you up really quick." Ben explains and although he can feel his boyfriend trembling a little, he knows he is being strong and just holds him tighter.
"So I'm not broken or anything?" Matt then asks nervously, he is starting to think that the mental things he can get over, he did it with Mr Jones although he never quite fully recovered, but he could cope with this if he wasn't damaged, because if he couldn't shit or had problems with his bum, it would always keep reminding him and he couldn't handle that, it was bad enough that they had told him he will probably never walk properly again but he could live with that, but not his bum being wrong, he couldn't do that.
"They got all weird and started using big words when I asked them about that, Mitch told me it was because they were embarrassed and thought it would be easier to confuse me, but he promised me that you will be okay, you know like your bum is fine, well it was bruised and like cut, but by now it is probably healed and by the time you get out of here, it will definitely be." Ben answers honestly, he had been curious himself and after his talk with his brother he was relieved that his boyfriends dad hadn't broken his boyfriends bum.
"Can you er... look at it?" Matt then asks, catching Ben by surprise and again he hadn't expected that sort of question and wasn't sure what to say, apart from looking at each others bum cheeks and a few little accidental looks at each others bum holes when they were wrestling or playing around naked, they had never taken any interest in that part of each other and it was still gross to them both that they will one day stick their penis's into each other.
"You want me to look at your bum hole?" Ben asks in disbelief and shock, although there was the plus side of getting a close look at his boyfriends penis and balls, his bum hole was definitely not something he wanted to see close up.
"Please, I want to know if it is broken and I don't want to ask someone else in case they want to look and I don't want anyone else seeing it." Matt responds honestly and he knew that his boyfriend wouldn't lie and was also hoping that if it was fine then he was be okay and stop being so scared.
"Okay, but if I have to look at yours then you have to look at mine after." Ben then states and surprises himself as much as his boyfriend, he didn't know why he said that and definitely didn't want anyone looking at his bum hole, but for some reason he said it and knew he couldn't take it back.
"Okay, but you have to get naked now and get a boner, I haven't seen Little Benny for ages." Matt responds with a shy smile, he knew he was just using this to distract him from knowing his dad raped him, but he couldn't help himself and figured that it would help if he didn't think about it too much all at once.
"I love you Matt." Ben then states, as he quickly starts to strip off.
"I love you too Ben, but actually don't take your briefs off." Matt responds and grins at his boyfriend who was then about to pull them down.
"Why?" Ben asks curiously.
"Because I want to take them off, you just have to er... sort of sit over my stomach and er... lean forward a little, but be careful because my ribs hurt, so use your hands and knees to hold yourself over me." Matt then instructs his boyfriend, who gives him a nervous look before slowly climbing over him. "Okay, let me lower my bed a little." He then states as he presses a button and his bed starts lowering him into a laying position, he stops when he is happy with where they are and looks up at his boyfriend with a smile. "Kiss me." He then says and enjoys the kiss for a few moments before reaching his hands down to his boyfriends underwear and begins to push them down his legs.
"Now what?" Ben can't help but ask, as he breaks the kiss.
"Now move up a bit more, I want to take them off all the way by myself." Matt answers, although he had a much more naughty idea than just taking his boyfriends briefs off and just hoped his boyfriend could move far enough over him, so that he could reach his target.
"Okay, tell me when to stop." Ben then states, while he slowly moves up and he can feel his briefs being pushed down his legs.
"You will know when to stop, trust me Ben." Matt responds and licks his lips when he sees his target edging ever closer, he was now purposely trying to forget about being raped and using his boyfriend to do it.
"How will I... oh..." Ben begins to say, before stopping and moans as he feels his boyfriends lips around his boner, he hadn't even noticed he was hard, but he knew now and he had to bite down on his forearm to stop himself moaning out too loud and made an attempt to move away, but as soon as he tried he felt both his boyfriends hands grab his bum cheeks to hold him in place and how he was positioned he couldn't do any thing else to get away and could feel himself tingling all over, it had been so long since he had orgasmed and the way his boyfriend was not only sucking him, but also massaging his bum, he could feel it building fast.
Then as Ben feels his orgasm about to hit, he can only whimper when he feels his boner being released by his boyfriends mouth and the hands holding him in place moving around the front and pushing his hips away from his boyfriends mouth.
"Please Matt." Ben then says in a pleading tone, he was so close and he just needed to orgasm so badly.
"Sorry but you can't orgasm until I can." Matt responds, before blowing on his boyfriends boner and giggles when he gasps and it twitches. "Get off me now, I need to know if my bum hole is okay." He then says, he knows what he just did was mean and his boyfriend didn't deserve it, but he needed the distraction and knew his boyfriend would understand when he told him in a little bit.
"But, please I'm so close... please Matt." Ben then practically begs and not making any effort to move, he was just so close and he needed it so badly.
"No, we made a deal Ben, now you need to make sure I'm not broken." Matt responds, now realising that he went too far and didn't want to hurt his boyfriend, who had done everything he had asked him to do and did it because of how much he loved him. "Ben I'm really sorry, that was mean and I promise that I will make it up to you, but I want us to orgasm together and if we both wait, it will be the best one ever." He then decides to say and it was the truth, even back when he made the deal or rather tricked his boyfriend into it, he wanted them to orgasm together and knew it would be amazing after waiting so long.
"Fucking hell Matt, that's not cool and you're going to have to give me some time to calm down, damn it why did you have to do that?" Ben asks and while he doesn't mean to sound annoyed, he can't hide it because of how close his boyfriend had come to making him orgasm and he was panting quite hard.
"Sorry, I just wanted to distract myself and I missed being with you like this, sorry." Matt responds meekly, now that he can hear how annoyed his boyfriend is, he feels even more guilty.
"It's okay, it was nice, but you can't do that again Matt, it's not fair and I wouldn't tease you like that." Ben then says and slowly moves down his boyfriend until they are face to face. "I mean it Matt, no more teasing and tricking me, you promise?" He then asks, he doesn't want to be telling his boyfriend off, but he wants to let him know that he can't just use him for a bit of fun.
"I promise and I love you." Matt responds sincerely, although he could feel himself trembling again and knew his distraction had only worked for a few minutes and felt like he would never get over what his dad had done to him, he was putting on a brave face for his boyfriend, but he knew that it was not okay and didn't know what to do, he would run if his dad hadn't also made that impossible and he starts to wonder what he had done to deserve a horrible dad.
"I love you too, now er... I'm going to have a look, try and spread your legs a little and I can see it better." Ben then instructs his boyfriend in an awkward tone, he wasn't really looking forward to this and the thought of seeing some shit was disgusting, even if it was his boyfriend.
"Okay." Matt answers, he is equally uncomfortable about his boyfriend looking at him bum hole and hoped it wasn't dirty, not that it would be his fault, but he was still embarrassed by the thought.
Ben then gets into what he thinks is the best position and starts to push his boyfriends legs apart a bit more, he then uses one of his hands to lift his balls a little and with his other hand starts to gently spread his boyfriends bum cheeks a little further apart and gasps a little as he looks directly at the hole albeit an upside down view as he leans over.
"Oh my god, is it broken?" Matt quickly asks in a panicked and scared tone, he took the sound of his boyfriends gasp as a bad sign and felt himself trembling more.
"It's beautiful." Ben says and while Matt quickly relaxes a little at his boyfriends words, he is however both surprised and confused by it also, the last word he would associate with a bum hole was beautiful.
"It's a bum hole though, shit comes out of it." Matt then states, he wasn't sure how he felt about his boyfriends words now, it was always nice to be called beautiful, but his bum hole... that was just a bit weird and gross to him.
"I know, but it is and I like it." Ben admits honestly, he had thought it would be gross and didn't actually want to see it that closely, but to his surprise and confusion he thought it was amazing and he actually moved his fingers closer and touched it.
"Oh, what are you doing... stop it Ben stop... oh er... it's er... oh, it tickles a little, but stop Ben, please stop." Matt quickly tell his boyfriend, if he was honest it felt nice and tickled a little, but definitely nice, but he wasn't ready for anything like that to happen and it was too close a reminder to what his dad did to him and he didn't like that at all.
"Oh shit sorry, I just couldn't help it, you're perfect Matt and I love every part of you." Ben apologises, but he really did literally love every inch of his boyfriends body.
"It's okay, so er... do I get to see yours now?" Matt then asks nervously, a few moments ago he was hoping his boyfriend was joking about him having to look at it, but after what his boyfriend had said about his bum hole, he couldn't help but be curious and wondered what it looked like.
"Only if you want to though, I'm still really worried about you Matt." Ben answers honestly, he was worried that they hadn't actually talked about the rape and his boyfriend seemed to be trying to avoid it.
"Why?" Matt asks and looks down to his boyfriend curiously, which actually makes him realise that his boyfriend is still looking at his bum hole and that he couldn't actually cover himself up or close his legs.
"Because you're avoiding talking about what your dad did to you." Ben answers bluntly, he wanted to get his boyfriend to deal with it and knew he would have to push the subject for that to happen.
"Because I don't want to freak out Ben, I know I'm going too and I hate it." Matt answers honestly and as if on cue he starts to tremble and he wishes he could die and never have to feel this pathetic again and begins to cry.
Hearing his boyfriend breakdown so quickly, Ben quickly gets out from between his boyfriends legs, turns himself around and moves up his body, he then shifts so that he is laying next to him and pulls him tightly on to his body, being careful not to move him too quickly to avoid hurting him.
"Matt if you freak out you freak out, you know about it now and you're going to have to deal with it, there is no one else around so you can just cry, shout or do whatever you want and it will just be me and no one will ever know if you don't want them too." Ben then says, he has no idea what he just said and why he said it, but he felt his boyfriend relax a little and assumed it worked.
"Will he try to hurt me again?" Matt then asks, he had to sniffle a few times to speak and again he just felt pathetic.
"He is going to prison very soon Matt, he won't be out for like forever because of what he did to you and then what he did to er... he is never going to be able to hurt you again." Ben explains and almost slips up, only just remembering that they while they had told them about the attack and the injuries Mitch and Wesley had, they hadn't told him about the Taylor's, they were all waiting until they could all be together to tell him that news.
"Did he hurt my Mum as well?" Matt then asks, he knows about Mitch and Wesley and how Carter had almost killed his dad, but they never mentioned his mum and he had noticed the bruising around her neck and cuts on her head, but was just so happy to see her again that he forgot about them.
"Yeah, I know we didn't tell you exactly what happened, but Mitch saved her life and you know about the others." Ben answers honestly, he saw no issue telling his boyfriend about his mum and could see him thinking it over.
"It really hurt Ben." Matt then decides to say, he had actually started remembering almost everything that his dad had done, but the rape stuff he thought were just nightmares, but now that he knows it really happened, he remembered the pain and the only thing that hurt more was his foot and ankle being broken and repeatedly crushed and kicked.
"What did?" Ben asks nervously, he had asked his brother if it would have hurt his boyfriend, but didn't really get a definite answer and he was meant to ask Jordan, but couldn't quite bring himself to ask.
"When he raped me, I think if I wasn't so beat up and stuff, it would have been worse and er... Ben, I don't know if we can ever you know er... do that together, like ever, sorry." Matt then answers honestly, neither of them had been keen on the idea, although they had accepted that one day when they were older and left school they would try it and see if it was nice, but he now knew how much it hurt and he doesn't think he could ever go through it again.
"This is why I wanted Jordan to be here." Ben then states in a sad tone and misses the surprised look on his boyfriends face.
"You told Jordan?" Matt then asks in a slightly annoyed tone, he wasn't completely angry because his boyfriend had told him that he had talked to someone, but he was surprised that it was Jordan.
"Yeah, he was the only person I knew who could talk with you about what happened and how to deal with it." Ben answers honestly, he could tell his boyfriend was annoyed, but there was nothing he could do now and there was no point trying to make excuses.
"Because Mr Jones did that stuff he did with me to him?" Matt then asks and then thinking about it, out of everyone they knew Jordan was the only one who might be able to help him, but at the same time he didn't know what it was like to be raped.
"Mr Jones raped him Matt, I think a few times and he said he would talk to you and try and help you understand what it means and how to deal with it." Ben again answers honestly, although he decided that for now he wouldn't mention Carter knowing.
"Oh." Matt responds, not knowing what else to say, he knew Jordan got it worse than him but he never knew the teacher done that to him and several times and thinking back he never did really see everything Jordan wrote down or hear what he had told the police and just assumed it was basically what he had been through, but a little worse and it made him feel pathetic for feeling so bad about being raped once.
"Your rape was different though Jordan said." Ben then begins to state, but is quickly interrupted.
"I'm so pathetic, he got raped lots and I'm crying about just the once, you must think I'm pathetic Ben." Matt then states and looks away from his boyfriend in shame.
"Oh no, no Matt, Jordan said yours was worse, he told me that while he hated it and wanted to die, it only hurt a little and said that Mr Jones was careful not to hurt him too much because his parents might become suspicious if he hurt him badly down there, but your dad did it to hurt you and he did and Jordan said he wouldn't be able to cope if he went through what you did." Ben quickly states, hoping to reassure his boyfriend and knows in his haste he probably made a mess of it, but he hoped he at least made him point.
"But I only got raped once, he got it loads of times." Matt responds, surely more times are worse than just once.
"Okay, which would hurt more Matt, one hard punch to you stomach or ten gentle pokes with a finger?" Ben then asks, he is sure with more time he could think of a better example, but he knew he had to reassure his boyfriend quickly.
"Oh, Ben can you just hold me for a while, I don't want to think about it any more." Matt then asks, he isn't freaking out and is trying to deal with it, but he needed time and he knew he couldn't handle too much more of it right now.
"Matt we have to talk about it and you can't just pretend it never happened." Ben responds, he knows he is being a little mean, but he didn't want his boyfriend shutting off his emotions.
"I know but not today, I'm not superman Ben, I need time and I promise I'm not trying to forget, I just need time and I need you to hold me for a while and maybe play with my balls a little, I miss you doing that." Matt then says, starting of serious but is smiling weakly by the end and lets out a low moan when he feels his balls being gently massaged, it wasn't a sexual thing though, well it was a little but he really did find it comforting.
"Anything for you Matt, I love you." Ben then states and kisses his boyfriends cheek.
"I love you too." Ben responds and closes his eyes and just relaxes in his boyfriends embrace, with a smile on his face.
"You better not be trying to steal my boyfriend Mitch." Carter states as he walks into the room and sees his boyfriend in his friends brothers arms.
"Well he is cute, but he is too girlie for me Carter." Mitch answers with a cheesy grin and smiles when he feels the boy try to get out of his arms, but decides to hold him in place.
"Yeah I guess he is a bit of a wimp, he can't even get off a bed on his own." Carter then states, he can see that his boyfriend is being held by his friends brother and as strong as he knows Wesley is, it would be quite a few years before he could give Mitch a run for his money strength wise.
"Humph, humph..." Wesley mumbles in protest, as Mitch quickly moves a hand over the young boys mouth to stop him being able to speak.
"Aww look our little baby is trying to speak." Mitch then says teasingly and is enjoying messing around for a change, he had been in pain and bored ever since he woke up and this was a nice change.
"Yeah, I think I almost have him potty trained, but he still has a few accidents." Carter then states as he moves around and slips his hand inside his boyfriends gown and gropes him. "Oh he has been a good boy, nice and dry." He then adds, before removing his hand and giggling as Mitch chuckles.
"Humph... humph... humph." Wesley again tries to speak, but he is still being restrained and tries to look at his boyfriend pleadingly.
"Okay, let him go Mitch." Carter then tells his friends brother, he had his fun and he doesn't enjoy humiliation, unless it was someone like Conner or his friends sick and perverted dad.
"Spoil sport." Mitch states and reluctantly removes his hand, but keeps his firm hold on the boy, so he couldn't move away.
"Very funny Mitch, now let me go." Wesley then states, he was slightly embarrassed about being held so easily, but then again Mitch was basically his idol and if he had been able to get away he would have felt a little disappointed.
"Yeah come on Mitch, give me my boyfriend back, I need a cuddle and I don't care how gay that sounds." Carter then states and while he is putting on a good front of being okay, both his boyfriend and Mitch quickly see through it and Mitch lets Wesley go.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Wesley asks in a worried tone, as he gets up and quickly moves over to his boyfriend and cuddles him, he can hear him sniffle and shake a little and turns to look at Mitch.
"Carter is everything okay?" Mitch then asks, after the young boy doesn't reply to his boyfriends question and he is actually a little worried.
"Sorry, it's just I found something bad out and I just needed my boyfriend to hold me." Carter eventually explains, without taking his head off his boyfriends chest, he was a little embarrassed that he couldn't rest his head on his boyfriends shoulder, but he would have to tip toe and stretch to do that and that was even more embarrassing.
"What did you find out?" Wesley asks curiously, he was now gently stroking his boyfriends back to comfort him and loved the feeling of him being so close to him.
"I can't tell you, it's a secret and I promised Ben." Carter says and knows he shouldn't have said that with Mitch in the room.
"Is Ben alright, did something happen at school?" Mitch asks in concern and tries to get up, but he moves to quickly and slumps back holding his head. "Ouch, oh fucking hell." He then says and both the younger boys break their embrace and look at him in concern.
"Should I get a doctor?" Wesley asks, seeing Mitch in pain was a shock and although he knew it was a stupid thought with them all being in hospital but he still thought of Mitch as indestructible.
"No, I just tried to get up too quick, head rush and it hurts like a bitch, just give me a few moments and Carter just tell us what you found out." Mitch answers and just sits back holding his arm over his eyes as he tries to relax and ignore the sick feeling he is getting.
"I can't though and er... wait er... Mitch you're the one who told Ben." Carter says, after realising that Mitch already knew but he knew his boyfriend didn't and he couldn't tell him.
"Ben told you about David raping Matt didn't he?" Wesley then asks, he wasn't one hundred percent sure that is what his boyfriend is talking about, but he takes a risk because he really doesn't want to spend the next ten to thirty minutes of them trying to say it.
"Yeah, but who told you?" Carter can't help but ask, confirming that he knows in the process.
"I figured it out, I don't know how or why, I just did and well Mitch confirmed it for me a little while ago." Wesley answers honestly, he had tried to work out how he figured it out and why, but he couldn't and decided that it wasn't important.
"Oh wow, that is so cool, you should be a detective or something when you get older." Carter then states proudly and actually thought his boyfriend would be really good at it.
"I don't know, maybe but I just figured one thing out and that doesn't make me a detective Carter." Wesley responds with a shy smile, it was actually a good idea and he would give it some serious thought another day, he didn't really want to be a sportsman and although he loved music, he wasn't interested in doing that, but a constable or something to do with law could be good.
"He also figured out why Matt was afraid of his mum and fixed it." Mitch then says, he is still feeling a little dizzy and still has his arm over his eyes, but he had been paying attention and he could actually imagine Wesley arresting people and had even considered going into that career himself.
"Oh I know, Mike told us when me and Ben arrived." Carter then states, he had almost forgotten about that and felt a little guilty, until his boyfriends hand sneaks into his pockets and he gets distracted.
"What are these." Wesley then asks, after feeling something other than his intended target as he moved his hands around in his boyfriends pockets.
"Oh jeez Wesley, don't feel him up in front of me." Mitch then says, he isn't really interested in what the boy had found and even less enthusiastic about the groping.
"Sorry Mitch." Wesley says in a shy tone, before looking down at his boyfriend and can see that he is blushing slightly. "Why do you have dice in your pocket." He then asks him.
"Oh Ben gave them to me, but we have to ask Mitch before I can..." Carter begins to explain, before realising who else is in the room and stops talking and he can see his friends brother looking at him. "Oh shit." He then says, leaving his boyfriend totally confused.
"Huh, why do you need to ask Mitch about some crappy dice?" Wesley asks, but doesn't get any answer and when he looks over to Mitch and is even more confused by his expression.
"Carter why have you got his and Matt's dice?" Mitch then asks in a serious tone, he isn't sure what is going on, but he wasn't happy about his little brother not only telling someone about his special toys, but actually giving them to his friends, that was breaking his rules that he had set out and he was not impressed.
"Shit, it's private Mitch, please don't make me tell you and Ben was only being a good friend and trying to help us, like all the times you helped him and Matt, when they were er... you know doing things." Carter responds nervously, as he tries to explain and get Mitch to stop looking so angry.
"They are just dice, what's the big deal." Wesley then says as he holds them up and looks at them. "Holy shit, they are sex dice." He then says in surprise and for a few seconds he wonders where they could of got them and then it hits him, there was only one place he knew that sold these and he couldn't believe it. "Oh my god, you got them from my brothers shop didn't you?" He then asks, looking directly at Mitch, whose anger and annoyance quickly change into embarrassment.
"Oh fucking hell, I'm going to kill that little shit of a brother for this." Mitch then states, but is surprised by the glare Carter gives him.
"Leave him alone Mitch, he has been so good to me and helped me so much, just like you have helped him and you should be proud of him, he helped me get over my shyness about my body and he helped me and Wesley get together and he was just trying to help me with tomorrow and what I want to do." Carter then states and smiles when he sees the look on Mitch's face and knows he made his point, but his boyfriend quickly wipes the smile off his face.
"You got the dice for us to play with tomorrow?" Wesley asks and is surprised when his boyfriend moves away from him and turns to face him, looking very embarrassed.
"I wanted to do something and was scared and Ben thought these might be fun and help me get what I want." Carter answers as honestly as he dared too.
"What did you want?" Wesley asks nervously, he had an idea and just wanted to hear his boyfriend say it, although if he remembered they weren't alone he wouldn't have asked.
"Oh for fuck sake, Wesley he wants to give you a blow job and the dice would have been a good way to do it without having to ask and to avoid you two getting all shy and not speaking for a long time and Carter he would let you and would give you one back, just so you know." Mitch decides to say and just get everything out in the open, although if he had a clear head, there was no way he would have just said that and from the stunned and mortified look on both the boys faces, he knows he messed up. "Oh shit, sorry but just trust me I have been through this with the other two and it is so much easier if you just tell each other how you feel, you have to admit it has made you feel horrible not knowing what they other would think right?" He then adds, it is a weak attempt at smoothing things over and he knew it.
"Are you sure you want to though?" Wesley then asks, looking directly at his boyfriend, the idea still scared him but after his talk with Mitch a little while ago he knew he had to make compromises.
"I want too and er... yes I want too Wesley, but I still want to use the dice and have some fun." Carter responds honestly and blushes, it was just embarrassing to be having this conversation with Mitch sitting right there.
"Well I'm still a little nervous about blow jobs, but if it comes up on the dice I will give it a go, but only because I love you so much Carter, I would do anything for you." Wesley then states and pulls his boyfriend in for a loving kiss.
"Jeez, look just be careful and don't let your parents see the dice." Mitch then says, he had just got used to not seeing people kiss around him and forgot how awkward it was.
"Sorry Mitch." Both boys say in unison, after breaking their kiss.
"It's okay, but now that it's just the three of us, do you have any questions about sex and the things you do together?" Mitch decides to ask, it's an embarrassing subject but now is a good a time as any he thinks to himself, because it was clear from his talk with Wesley earlier and now this one, that they would come to him any way.
"I know enough Mitch, well enough for what we do anyway." Wesley answers in a confident tone, he didn't know everything and knew he had lots to learn and understand, but for now he knew enough and wanted to experience things with his boyfriend together and not be told what to do or how to do it.
"Oh, well I kind of know quite a bit as well and I guess if me and him start talking to each other more about things that worry us then we will be fine." Carter answers honestly, he had done a lot of searching on the internet before he had even went out with Jordan because he was curious about being gay and probably saw more than he had wanted too.
"Well that was easier than expected, it's a shame Matt and my little brother weren't so naïve about it, well more Matt because that would have saved a lot of embarrassing conversations." Mitch then states, he knew Wesley knew quite a bit, well for a boy his age he knew a lot, but he wasn't sure about Carter and he was happy that he wouldn't have to explain things to them, although he knew they would still seek him out for advice and he was happy about that.
"Yeah, Matt is just adorable and so innocent, it's really..." Wesley begins to say but trails off and both his boyfriend and Mitch look at him curiously and then in concern when they see tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Carter asks, before moving closer and taking a hold of his boyfriends hand.
"Don't worry about it, it's nothing really." Wesley responds trying to move on, he didn't want to put a downer on them all.
"Just say it Wesley, it is going to keep bothering you until you tell someone." Mitch then states, he knows exactly what the boy was going to say and why he had stopped talking, because he was now feeling the same thing and it was a devastating realisation.
"Oh come on, I want to know." Carter then says, he knows he sounds like a little child but he could tell Mitch knew what was wrong with his boyfriend and he wanted to understand.
"Carter it's just Matt isn't innocent any more thanks to Mr Jones and now his dad, because they took it away and it just made me feel bad and sad inside, no one should ever go through that but especially someone like Matt, he wouldn't hurt anyone and everyone likes him." Wesley explains and is happy to feel his boyfriends lips against his own.
"We just all need to look after him from now on, I know we can't protect him every minute of every day, but we can do our best to keep him safe from now on." Mitch then states, he wasn't bothered by the two boys kissing now and realised that he had got used to seeing his little brother and Matt kissing and this wasn't any different.
"He won't like us treating him like a baby Mitch, I wouldn't want you lot to do it to me, even if you do mean well and are just looking out for me." Wesley then states, after breaking the kiss with his boyfriend.
"I agree with him Mitch, we can look out for him Mitch, but he needs his own space as well and well Ben will be with him most of the time anyway." Carter then adds, deciding he should share his opinion.
"Okay you two are right, it's just I don't ever want to lose him and he has been through so much already." Mitch then says, knowing the boys are right and they can't smother Matt and keep him locked up.
"We should talk about something else for a while, Matt wouldn't want us worrying like this." Wesley then states and gets a small smile from his boyfriend and Mitch.
"What do you want to talk about then?" Mitch asks, deciding the boy is right and they needed to change the subject.
"How about what we want to be when we are older, well you both know I want to be a doctor of some sort, but what about you two?" Carter responds and smiles when he sees them both thinking about his question.
"Okay come sit on the bed with me, there is enough room if you snuggle up either side of me and yes you can even hold hands." Mitch then suggests and smiles when they both make themselves comfortable under each of his arms and just like he had predicted they quickly holds each others hand over his stomach and he smiles contently.
They then start going over what they wanted to do, starting with Mitch who surprises them when he mentions being a policeman and when Wesley says the same thing they talk about how one day they could even be partners and Carter decides to make fun off them and tease them a little and they all have a good laugh and carry on talking about their futures.
"Sarah I know you want to go in there, but we can't and we might as well make the most of this time alone." Mike says, he can tell she is desperate to go in the room, but apart from his youngest sons initial shouting, they haven't heard anything and he is taking that as a good sign.
"Mike I know okay, but I still want to go in and what do you mean make the most of this time alone?" Sarah responds and looks at him almost suspiciously.
"The Taylor's lawyer wants to meet with you tomorrow, I think we should both go and see what he has to tell you." Mike explains and can see the look on her face and knows that she had forgotten.
"Okay well that is tomorrow, I don't see what that has to do with anything right now, I don't know what he wants and we won't know until tomorrow." Sarah responds and she knows she is being dismissive, but her mind is on her son right now and not on anything else.
"I think it is pretty obvious what it is about Sarah." Mike states and he knows his slightly aggressive approach is working, when he sees her looking at him instead of the room.
"It is?" Sarah can't help but find herself curious and if she was honest, she was also glad of the distraction.
"They don't have any relatives and you have been like family to them and they adored Matt, I think they left you the house and maybe some money in their wills, I can't see any other reason their lawyer needs to speak with you Sarah." Mike explains and can she that she is thinking about what he had said and smiles, knowing that at the very least she isn't worrying about her son for a few minutes.
"I can't live in their house Mike and I can't live in mine any more." Sarah then states and surprises Mike, he hadn't expected that response and really hadn't even thought about what she and her son would do once Matt was out of hospital.
"You can live with me and the boys Sarah, you know that you're welcome." Mike then offers, although it would be cramped he was more than willing to let them move in.
"Mike it's a nice offer, but Matt is going to need room to get better and your house can't fit us all in." Sarah responds and while she appreciated the offer, it wasn't a practical solution.
"Matt and Ben can share, I will take the sofa and you can have my room and Mitch will stay in his room, we could make it work Sarah." Mike then suggests, although even as he says the words, he knows it wouldn't work long term and even in the short term it would strain all their relationships being that cramped together, although he suspected Matt and Ben would be delighted and happy with the arrangement.
"It's a nice idea Mike and maybe for a few weeks I will take you up on the offer, but it just wouldn't work and I know by the look on your face that you think the same thing." Sarah then states and they both just smile at each other for a few moments.
"I do have another suggestion, but we would need to at least talk to Mitch about it and there are other issues that might make it a none starter." Mike then states and Sarah can't help but be intrigued, she had come to really like Mike and while she doesn't see any chance of romantic feelings developing, she does see a life long friend and with their two sons dating each other, they would be tied to each other.
"Another suggestion?" Sarah asks, after deciding to let her curiosity take over.
"If you sold both your houses, assuming that the Taylor's actually left you the house and I sold my house then we could buy two really nice houses close together, they would have to be next door to each other obviously and I think the boys would be delighted with the idea." Mike then explains his idea and again can see that she is giving it a serious think and waits patiently to see what she has to say.
"You mean one house for the boys and the other for us don't you?" Sarah then asks, her tone is neutral and Mike can't quite tell if she is happy or upset about what he had said.
"Honestly with Ben and Matt being boyfriends and entering puberty, well I don't think either of us really wants to think too much about what they will be doing and I just don't think they will get much chance of privacy, if Matt lived with you and Ben lived with me, it would be awkward if they had to ask one of us to leave the house for a while and to be honest you and me would spend that time at the others house most of the time, I know it isn't exactly the greatest idea and there is a lot to discuss, but that is the basics of what I was thinking." Mike then explains, he didn't want to say too much at once and wanted to gauge her reaction before he carries on.
"I'm assuming Mitch would live with the boys and be in charge of them?" Sarah decides to ask, she didn't want to give an answer either way just yes, but she was surprised to not totally hate the idea, although whether she could actually not live with her son was something she didn't think she could do.
"I think Mitch would enjoy the responsibility and he has basically brought Ben up, I haven't been the best dad in that respect Sarah and I know just like me, you trust Mitch with your life and Matt's." Mike answers honestly, he was just throwing the idea out there, but the fact Sarah didn't dismiss is left him wondering if it was a real possibility and he wasn't sure if he could live apart from either of his sons, especially his youngest.
"I'm not sure Mike, I can see the positives and I agree about Ben and Matt, but they are only twelve and I don't think I can live in a different house from him, it just wouldn't feel right." Sarah then states honestly, two separate houses even if they were next door to each other just wasn't going to happen in her eyes.
"I have to agree, but I think we can spend a bit of time looking into the general idea and maybe look around the area and see if there is another option." Mike responds, he knew of a few more expensive properties that had separate buildings but were on the same property, which were basically two houses in one and that could work and they also came with a big pool and he knew the boys would love that, but he had no idea if they could afford that kind of property, even if they combined their money.
"So we wouldn't be moving out of the area?" Sarah then asks and blushes a little at the use of the word 'we' and really did realise that their two families were almost one now and was surprised that she didn't mind that idea and actually felt reassured by it.
"If we did do this Sarah, I don't want to take the boys away from their friends, especially Wesley and Carter, I think those four boys are going to be friends for life and I think Matt has lost enough already and..." Mike begins to answer, but is surprised when Sarah interrupts him.
"Oh my god Tobias, Mike I forgot about Tobias I need to find him, I can't believe I forgot about him Mike." Sarah says and Mike can tell that she is upset and angry with herself.
"It's okay Sarah, you have so much happening at the moment and we will find Tobias, I promise I will help in any way I can, but you have to be there for Matt right now and you can't go off looking for Tobias until he is better." Mike then says, he had pulled her in close to him to comfort her but he could tell his words stung a little.
"Mike, I'm sorry but can we talk about this after we meet with the lawyer tomorrow, I just need to clear my head a little and not think too much." Sarah then states, remembering Tobias had upset her and despite being reunited with her son, she couldn't help but want to find him and could only imagine what he had been through the last few years and just hoped beyond hope that he was still alive.
"I understand, but do you mind if I talk with Mitch about this later, if I get him alone?" Mike responds with his own question, he knew if the idea was going to work, then he needed his eldest son on board and then they could try and work on one problem at a time, although Tobias started weighing on his mind as well because even if they found him and they got him to theirs or their new potential home, he would definitely be a very traumatised boy and if they did live separately from the their sons, Tobias would have to live with him and Sarah, at least at first until they could judge his health.
"No it would be good to see what he thinks, but I need to use the toilet Mike and get myself a drink, I will get you one as well." Sarah responds, before getting to her feet.
"Thank you Sarah, I wouldn't mind a coffee." Mike answers with a warm smile and watches as Sarah walks away, before turning back to Matt's room and waiting in case something happens.
"So do you want to see my bum hole now?" Ben suddenly asks out of the blue and he can't help but giggle at his friends face when he suddenly looks up to him.
"You were serious?" Matt asks nervously, he had convinced himself earlier to look after his boyfriends reaction to his bum hole, but that moment was over and he was back to thinking it was gross.
"Hey a deal is a deal and I had to look at your sexy bum, so you have to look at mine." Ben answers with a cheeky grin, he was kind of nervous in case his boyfriend really thought it was gross, but he thought it would be fun and he kind of wanted to know if he was a weirdo thinking his boyfriends bum hole was beautiful or if his boyfriend would think the same of his.
"You promise it's not really gross?" Matt asks and again he is nervous, he wasn't sure if his boyfriend was trying to be funny and play a joke on him or not.
"Mine is clean if that is what you mean, if it's the other thing then I don't know, but I really liked yours and it wasn't gross at all." Ben answers honestly, he was generally clean anyway in that area, although he was not so much when he was younger, but he tripled his efforts in the hygiene department the moment he started getting those strange feelings for his boyyfriend and he knew he was clean now, despite being at school all day.
"Okay, but you can suck my balls while I look." Matt then states with a cheeky grin, he might as well get something out of this he thought to himself and he knew his boyfriend would agree.
"Deal." Ben answers straight away and quickly moves and shifts his position so he is facing his boyfriends feet, although as he gets in position he feels strangely exposed and slightly embarrassed as he feels his boyfriend move him a little bit and when he feels his boyfriends hands pulling his cheeks apart he freezes and isn't quite sure how to react.
"Hey get sucking." Matt suddenly calls out after realising his boyfriend wasn't moving and smiles before letting a moan escape as he feels his balls being licked and teased, another moan escapes and he has to concentrate even harder on what he was meant to be doing, when he feels his balls being sucked.
Matt then pulls his boyfriends bum cheeks apart again and can't resist giving each cheek a massage while he holds them apart, he then finds himself looking straight at his boyfriends bum hole and doesn't quite know what to say, he was expecting to see shit or it to be really ugly and gross, but he couldn't help thinking it was nice and for some reason he wanted to touch it and just couldn't help himself and slowly move his left hand into his boyfriends crack and uses his index finger to rub along it and gently rubs the hole, but freezes when his boyfriend yelps in surprise.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Ben then asks after moving his mouth away from his boyfriends balls, he isn't sure what he should be thinking, it definitely didn't hurt and it actually felt really nice, but just like his boyfriend had asked him to stop, he didn't want it to carry on either and tries to move forward, but feels his hips being held in place. "Matt let me go." He then says, feeling a little scared that he is being held in place.
"Can I just touch it for a little while, I just want to figure something out." Matt responds, although he is on autopilot and isn't quite sure what is happening or why he hasn't just let his boyfriend get up.
"Matt I don't like it, please just let me get... ouch no Matt no!" Ben calls out and forces himself forward and then falls to the floor and landing ons his hand and shoulder. "Ouch, ouch." He then calls out and starts crying, not just because his wrist and shoulder really hurt but because of what his boyfriend did to him and he couldn't believe he would do that to him.
"Ben I'm so sorry, I didn't mean too are you alright?" Matt asks and can't believe he just did that and was scared that his boyfriend hadn't got up yet and he could hear him crying.
"I hate you." Ben then says as he slowly gets to his feet and locates his clothes and starts to get dressed, which proved to be both awkward and painful.
"Ben please, I don't know why I did it, I didn't mean too, I'm so..." Matt tries to apologise, but is quickly interrupted.
"No I hate you, you had no right, no right at all you prick." Ben states in an angry tone and when he gets his jeans on he doesn't bother with the top and just walks straight out of the room, leaving his boyfriend stunned and devastated.
"Hey Son you..." Mike begins to say, when he sees his youngest son emerge from Matt's room, but when he first notices he is topless and then the tears in his eyes he starts to get worried. "What's wrong, is Matt alright?" He then asks, assuming that maybe Matt had freaked out or something.
"I hate him and I want you to take me home right now." Ben states in a serious tone and Mike can't help but wonder what is happening.
"Ben what happened?" Mike asks, he knows he can't just leave Matt alone, Sarah would never forgive him, but at the same time his youngest son was clearly distressed and angry and it was only then that he noticed his hand and shoulder looking red and Mike didn't like the look of it.
"Take me home, I never want to see him again." Ben then states, he knew he was angry and upset but he didn't know if he could ever forgive Matt for doing that to him and he just wanted to get away.
"Ben, I can't leave Matt alone, we have to wait for his mum to come back and we need to get a doctor to look at your hand an shoulder, come and let me see it..." Mike begins to responds after noticing he was holding his left side and it looked red, but he is quickly interrupted.
"Then you stay with the prick, I'm going to see Mitch." Ben then states and walks away towards his brothers room, without even looking back at his dad, who just stands there in shock, he couldn't possibly imagine what Matt could have done that has caused his youngest son to act like that and he was worried about his sons hand and shoulder, but he had to stay with Matt and hope that Mitch sorted him out.
"Get out and leave us alone." Ben says in an angry tone as soon as he walks into his brothers room and sees Carter and Wesley snuggled up to his brother on the bed.
"What, Ben don't be rude." Mitch responds in a surprised tone, he could see instantly that his little brother was hurting badly, by the look on his face and he couldn't help but notice that he was holding his left hand a little as well, but he didn't like how he had talked to his two friends and let it distract him.
"Just get out now, you two can go look after that prick, because I'm never seeing him again." Ben then states and now Mitch is really concerned, he had seen his little brother angry and pissed off, but this was a whole new level and he needed to get him alone and figure out what happened and try to get a better look at his wrist.
"Guys can you go please, we can talk later but I need to talk to him alone." Mitch then says as he looks at both Carter and Wesley and can see they are just as shocked as he is by his little brothers behaviour.
"Okay, we will come back later Mitch." Wesley responds and he can tell that his friend is in no mood to talk to them and he grabs his boyfriends hand and quickly takes him out of the room and towards his and Matt's room.
"Okay Ben, what the hell happened?" Mitch then asks his little brother after the other two boys had left, but instead of getting an answer he feels his little brother almost throw himself into his body and cling to him crying his heart out and can only rub his back and let him cry until he is ready to talk, but he does get a better look at his little brothers hand and it is at least badly sprained and also notices that his shoulder on the same arm was looking red.
"Mike what happened?" Wesley asks as soon as he and his boyfriend make it back to his and Matt's room and they can see their friends dad looks just as confused as they were.
"I have no idea, he just came out of the room upset and saying he hated Matt and he never wanted to see him again." Mike answers, he was just shocked, he can't remember ever seeing his youngest son that angry and upset and knew that whatever happened it was serious.
"Is Matt okay?" Carter then asks.
"I don't know, shit I didn't even check on him, shit." Mike answers and can't believe he didn't even check on him.
"It's okay we will go in Mike." Wesley then suggests, his friends dad is clearly not in the right frame of mind and knew it was better if he and his boyfriend went in instead.
"Okay, I will wait here for his mum." Mike responds, glad that he didn't have to see Matt, he had no idea what happened but Ben was his son and he saw how upset he was and if Matt had done something to him, he wasn't sure if he was the best person to check on him.
"It will be alright Mike, Mitch will sort Ben out and we will sort Matt out." Carter then states, trying his best to sound positive, but even he was not sure what was going to happen, if Ben and Matt broke up that would be the end of their group of friends, they were probably the only two who could fall out and rip the group apart as they all picked a side and he was really worried.
"Ben what happened?" Mitch decides to ask, it had been almost ten minutes and his little brother was still crying, but he could here him sniffling and knew he was trying to compose himself. "Just tell me what happened Ben, I promise I will try to help." He then adds and decides to just wait for him to reply in his own time.
"I'm never going to speak to him again Mitch." Ben finally manages to speak, after another five minutes of trying to compose himself.
"Ben what the hell happened, just tell me what he did." Mitch states, he is guessing Matt did something and figures it is best to make it clear he is on his little brothers side.
"Mitch, I don't want to talk about it, but I can never let him near me again or trust him, I just want too go home, but I can't so can I sleep with you tonight?" Ben asks, trying his best to avoid answering his brothers question.
"Ben I need you to tell me what he did, you know you can trust me and tell me anything." Mitch then states, he knows his little brother is going to try and avoid answering, but he knows if he pushes enough he will tell him.
"He did something that he had no right to do and I don't ever want to see him again, I don't care how much I loved him, I don't any more and will never forgive him." Ben answers, trying to be smart by not actually telling him what actually happened and hoped his brother just let it go because he knew he would tell him if he kept pushing.
"Ben normally I would let it drop, but I have never seen you like this and you need to tell me right now." Mitch then states in a more serious tone and he can see by his little brothers expression that he is about to find out.
"I told him about the rape Mitch." Ben begins to explain, but pauses and thinks about all his boyfriend had been through, but right now how he was feeling, he just couldn't forgive him and knew he had to finish explaining, so he could get some sleep. "We talked for a bit and I had to tell him what a catheter does and how it works, then he asked me if his bum was broken, because of what his dad did and..." He again pauses, but this time because his anger returned, knowing how his boyfriend felt about what his dad had done to him, made what Matt did to him even worse in his eyes.
"Shit Ben, look you can explain the details later, just tell me what he did." Mitch then states, he knew he was being impatient, but he was worried his little brother was trying to stall and hoping someone interrupted them.
"Well he asked me to check if it was alright, you know his er... bum hole, because he didn't want to ask someone else, so I did and er... yeah it was fine, but then I wanted to lighten the mood and try to have a laugh so after a while I got him to agree to look at mine, I know it's gross and weird but it was just a bit of fun Mitch, but he er... he sort of touched my bum hole and I told him I didn't like it and when I tried to move he held me in place and because of how we were positioned I couldn't move." Ben begins to explain, but pauses because he still couldn't believe what Matt had done and realised that he really didn't want to see him again and he just couldn't make himself say anything else.
"Ben, seriously I need you to tell me what he did right now." Mitch then says, with a hint of anger in his voice, he hoped Matt hadn't done what he thought he had, although if he did he wasn't as angry as he thought he might have been, he was level headed enough to know in Matt's state he wasn't totally to blame for anything he did, but he had to tread carefully and wasn't sure how he could calm his little brother down.
"I told him to let me go Mitch, but then he, Mitch I told him to let me go and then he put his finger in my bum and it hurt and he didn't let me go, so I forced myself off the bed and I think I broke my hand when I fell on the floor Mitch, it really hurts and so does my shoulder." Ben then explains what his boyfriend had done, but now that he had calmed down his shoulder and hand really did hurt.
"I know, it looks red and swollen a little but you're going to have to wait until we talk a bit before we get a doctor to look at it." Mitch then states, he can see his little brother is in pain, but although he knows it was mean, he also knows it is probably his best chance to try and get him to listen to him.
"Mitch I told you what he did, he had no right and I told him to let me go." Ben then says, he just wants to get his hand and shoulder looked at now and doesn't want to talk about Matt.
"I'm angry at him Ben, in fact I want to punch him because what he did is unforgivable, well for a normal person it would be." Mike begins to say, but purposely pausing to let his little brother ask the obvious.
"What do you mean normal person?" Ben asks and despite the pain, he can't help but want to know what his brother is talking about, anyone else and he wouldn't bother but he knew that whenever Mitch talked to him like this, it was something he needed to hear and understand.
"First off, I don't blame you if you don't want to see him for a while, you have my full support that he did a horrible thing Ben, but you know better than anyone that he isn't himself right now, even though he has been getting better, he still has a long way to go to ever being like he was." Mitch begins to explain again, but he is interrupted.
"I know that, but that is no excuse, he was getting over what his dad did to him and he made up with his mum so he can't use that as an..." Ben begins to say, but Mitch quickly interrupts him this time.
"Ben he may have been getting over all that and it's really great that he is talking to his mum, but then you wiped all that progress away when you told him his dad raped him, you may want to believe he is the old Matt again and that you can hate him, but the truth is that I warned you about telling him and what it might do and you have to realise that he is just a boy like you Ben, but who has been through some of the most traumatic things any one could go through, do you understand what I'm telling you?" Mitch explains, before trying to find out if his little brother is taking this in.
"But he took it well and we were joking around Mitch, he wasn't like he was before and he shouldn't have done it and I don't think I can forgive him." Ben answers, but he is a little less sure about how he is feeling about Matt now.
"Ben you had just told him he was raped by his dad and then you get him to look at your bum hole, I'm sorry because I'm on your side and I understand that you have every right to be hurt and upset, but at the same, you have to take responsibility that you were in the wrong up until that point, I mean what were you thinking?" Mitch then asks, lecturing his little brother a little.
"I wanted to have a little fun." Ben answers defensively, still not quite getting his brothers point although he is realising that maybe he is to blame in some way.
"Ben you can tell jokes, tickle each other, play some cards or something to have fun, you don't stick your bum hole in the face of someone you just told that he was raped by his dad, I have no idea what would have been going through his mind at that moment, but you should have never put him in that position in the first place Ben." Mitch explains and despite knowing that he was being blunt and harsh, he had to make his point and could see that his little brother was starting to understand.
"I fucked up didn't I." Ben then states and knows he was stupid for doing what he did, but at the same time he wasn't sure if he could be with Matt again.
"Yes, but I'm still with you on not wanting to see Matt again." Mitch then says and can see the surprise on his little brothers face.
"You're?" Ben asks, he wasn't expecting that and was sure his brother would think he was being stupid.
"Yes but not forever Ben, you and Matt belong together and I believe you will get married one day and I truly believe that." Mitch then explains sincerely and he can see a mixture of pride and confusion on his little brothers face.
"I don't get it, so you agree I shouldn't see him, but then you tell me I should and that we will get married still." Ben then states and Mitch can't help but smile a little at his little brother, knowing that he had gotten through to him, but just needed to guide him through it.
"Ben here is what we are going to do, first we are going to get someone to look at your hand and shoulder and they will give you something for the pain and then you're going to sleep." Mitch states and pauses just to make sure his little brother is following him. "When you get up, you and me and going to speak with Matt alone..." He then begins to add, before being interrupted.
"I don't want to see him Mitch, you said you agreed that I shouldn't see him." Ben states, he is getting confused by his brother and isn't sure what he is trying to say.
"Ben, we will both go talk to him and all three of us will understand what happened and we can get this sorted out." Mitch then states and waits for his little brother to think about what he just said.
"I don't want to speak see him Mitch and you can't force me to." Ben responds in a serious tone and Mitch realises that he is going to have his work cut out.
"Ben you have to see him, you know that this isn't his fault and you can try and pretend you don't love him any more, but we both know that you do and you will forgive him." Mitch then states, he was sure after a nights sleep, his little brother will see sense and the boys will be back being adorably in love again.
"Mitch I'm not going to see him and he has his mum now, so he will be okay and I can go home with dad because I don't want to stay here any more." Ben responds and tries to sound serious, but then the pain in his hand and shoulder gets a little worse and he looks at his brother pleadingly and Mitch gets the message and he knows for now it is pointless trying to get through to him.
"Okay they should be here in a second." Mitch then says and Ben just looks at his brother in confusion.
"How do you know that?" Ben asks curiously.
"Because I pressed the alarm on my bed about thirty seconds ago and they don't usually take longer than a minute." Mitch explains with a smile and no sooner had he finished then the doors to his room open and a familiar looking nurse walks in.
"Evening boys." Erica says with a warm smile.
"I didn't know you were working tonight." Mitch responds, he is happy to see that it was Erica and knew she would look after his little brother.
"Yeah no rest for the wicked Mitch." Erica responds with a wink and Mitch chuckles. "So what is wrong then Mitch, you look fine to me." She then states, although if she had paid Ben any attention, she would have seen his arm and the look of pain on his face.
"Ben had an accident and he hurt his hand and shoulder, they look really swollen and I wanted someone to take a look at it, can you get him checked out please." Mitch then explains with a friendly smile.
"Of course." Erica responds, before turning to Ben and she can see instantly that he is in pain, but she can't quite see his hand. "Can you show me Ben?" She then asks in a caring tone and smiles when he slowly walks towards her.
"It really hurts." Ben says in a sad tone, although it is mainly due to what had happened and not his hand and shoulder, he was still angry and wasn't sure if he could ever forgive Matt, but at the same time he understood what his brother had said and knew that he was an idiot for making him look at his bum hole and he also knew that Matt was not well, but he was still too upset to even think of forgiving him.
"Okay just let me look at it." Erica then says in a soothing tone and despite being as gentle as she can, so can tell that Ben is trying to act brave, but the grimace on his face gives it away. "Well we need to get it x rayed, but I don't think it is fractured." She then states, although she couldn't be one hundred percent sure, she didn't think it was more than a sprain and his shoulder just looked bruised, so she wasn't concerned about that.
Reluctantly after a little persuasion from his brother, Ben leaves with Erica and they head to the x ray room, leaving Mitch alone with his own thoughts and he was desperately trying to think of a way to get his little brother to forgive Matt, he knew what Matt did was wrong, but it wasn't his fault and he needed to get his little brother to realise it.
"Go away." Matt states coldly to his two friends, who have spent the past five minutes trying to get him to tell them what happened.
"Just tell us Matt, we aren't going to leave you alone and we want to help." Carter responds in a caring tone.
"I said go away, I just want Ben and he hates me so go away." Matt states, while trying to not break down in tears, all he wanted to do was to be left alone and cry and his friends wouldn't leave him alone.
"Matt, we love you and want to help you and there isn't anything you can do to make us leave." Wesley then states with a cocky smile, he knew his friend couldn't force them to leave and he was sure he would tell them what happened now.
"Yes there is." Matt responds and holds up his remote and presses the alarm button.
"Matt, what are you doing?" Carter asks, although he knows exactly what his friend just did, he wasn't sure why he did it and how it was going to get them out of the room.
"Getting rid of you." Matt answers and looks to the door just as it opens and closes.
"What is wrong?" Dr Gilmar asks, he can see clearly that Matt is not in any pain or in distress and the other two boys look fine.
"Doctor they are being mean to me and I just want to sleep, but they won't let me and keep calling me names, can you make them go away please, I'm really tired." Matt then says in a sad tone and a pout to match it and all Carter and Wesley can do is stand open mouthed at what their friend just did and they both knew that there was nothing they could say to stay in the room.
"Boys we have made it clear that he needs his rest and that if you can't respect that then you will have to leave, now if you can both follow me, we can let him sleep for a while." Dr Gilmar then states, he had no reason to suspect that something else was going on and that Matt was lying.
Knowing it was pointless trying to argue, both Wesley and Carter follow the doctor out of the room, however Wesley can't hep but give his friend one last look and he can see that he is hurting and needed someone, but for now he couldn't do anything about it.
"Is everything okay doctor?" Mike asks, seeing not only the doctor emerge from Matt's room, but also Wesley and Carter and by the looks on their faces he knew they weren't happy and he couldn't help but think something had happened to Matt.
"Matt is just tired and these two were teasing him and not letting him sleep, so neither one is allowed back in until I say so and I think it would be best for no one else to go in either, he needs his rest and having people hassle him is not acceptable." Dr Gilmar answers and Mike can tell that the last part was directed at the two boys, which confused him, there was no way either of them would hassle and tease Matt enough to call a doctor and force them to leave like this.
"I will make sure no one else goes in doctor and I will talk to these two about their behaviour." Mike tells the doctor, although it is just for show and he knows that something else is going on and just needs to talk to them alone.
"Very well and thank you Mr Walker, it is very important that they understand that their friend needs time to recover." Dr Gilmar then states, before walking away to attend to some other patients.
"Mike we didn't do the things..." Carter begins to say, before he is interrupted by his friends dad.
"Boys I know, I just said what I did to get him to leave, but I'm going to need you both to be honest and tell me what really happened." Mike states and sits back down and waits for one of them to speak.
"We tried to get him to talk to us and tell us why Ben was so angry and upset, but he just pressed his alarm and lied to the doctor to make us leave." Carter answers, there really wasn't much more to it than that and he could tell his friends dad was expecting more.
"Oh." Mike then says, he was expecting something a bit more, well he isn't quite sure but he couldn't help being disappointed that nothing that would shed light on what had happened between his youngest son and Matt.
"It will be alright, they love each other and will probably be kissing and cuddling before the end of the night." Wesley then says in a confident tone, although after seeing both his friends and their moods, it was clear that this was serious and he couldn't even begin to guess what had happened.
"You're probably right Wesley, why don't you boys go and get something to eat and I will wait for Sarah to come back and explain what happened." Mike suggests, he appreciated Wesley's efforts to sound confident, but he saw right through it and knew that this was not going to be something that just blows over.
"We will come back later, I have to get discharged and I need to speak with Mitch about something." Wesley responds with a weak smile and takes his boyfriends hand into his own and walks towards the canteen, leaving Mike to sit down and wait for Sarah.
One Week Later
"Ben come on, it's been a week and you need to go and see him." Mitch states, he had thought his little brother would be enthusiastic and wanting to see his boyfriend, but instead he was acting the complete opposite and Mitch couldn't help but think the worst.
"Mitch I don't need to see him, I'm fine and happy." Ben answers with a smile and tries to stand up from his bed, but just like the last three times his brothers hands hold him down.
"Ben talk to me, he is your boyfriend and you love each other, just go and see him and stop sulking." Mitch then states, he isn't sure what is going on with his little brother, but he knows that he loves Matt and is sure with a little encouragement he can get him to go and see him, although he had thought the same thing every day for the last week and he had never succeeded.
"He isn't my boyfriend any more and I don't miss him at all Mitch, now let me go, I'm going to go for a run down the park." Ben responds and again smiles, causing Mitch to look at him in surprise, he had honestly thought he had convinced his little brother that it wasn't Matt's fault and that he shouldn't be angry, but he was starting to doubt that belief as each day passed.
"Ben what the hell are you talking about, you love him and you know it, so cut whatever the hell is going on in your head out and go be with him." Mitch then states in a serious and firm tone, hoping to get his little brother to snap out of it and trying to remain strong and not give up, there was too much at stake for Ben to not go and see his boyfriend and Mitch knew he had to find a way.
"I don't love him, what he did was wrong and I'm never going to see him again." Ben answers and tries to get up again, this time his brother lets him and he smiles. "There is some of his stuff in that box, you can put it in a bin or take it to him, I don't care as long as it's not here when I get back." He then states and begins to walk towards his bedroom door.
"Ben tell me the truth please, I don't care if you're pissed off or upset, just please tell me that you don't really mean what you just said." Mitch states in an almost pleading tone and Ben can't hep but turn around in surprise.
"Mitch?" Ben asks, he was not expecting his brother to say anything like that and the tone of his voice worried him, so far he had managed to ignore his brother and kept his act up, but this was the first time he let it slip.
"Ben what you and Matt have is special, what he did was awful and I can see why you would be angry and even not want to see him for a while, but to not love him any more and to never want to see him again, I just don't get it and you need to explain it to me." Mitch explains and looks at his little brother, hoping that he stops acting like he hates Matt, when it was so obvious he didn't.
"I was angry and didn't want to see him for a while, but the last few days have been great without him and I realised that he was making me unhappy so I then thought about it and decided that without him I would be happy all the time." Ben answers and again smiles, which just confirms Mitch's thoughts that his little brother is lying and something else is going on, he knows his little brother better than anyone and he just had to keep pushing.
"Okay that is bullshit and you can come back here and sit down again, because I will going to get the truth out of you Ben and you know you won't make it to the door before I stop you, so just sit down and talk to me." Mitch then states, seeing right through his little brothers little speech.
"Mitch you aren't my dad and I just told you the truth." Ben answers and turns back to the door, for a second Mitch is stunned that his little brother was brushing him off and knew he couldn't let him go.
"Ben you're an idiot." Mitch calls out, he just needed to distract him for a few seconds.
"What?" Ben responds and as soon as he turns around to look at his brother, he knows he made a mistake and feels himself being picked up and unceremoniously thrown on his bed. "Hey! I'm telling dad you prick." He then hisses at his brother, he hadn't expected him to actually stop him going out and was both furious and nervous.
"Ben, tell me why you aren't with Matt right now, instead of being here and acting like a spoilt little brat." Mitch instructs his little brother, deciding to try a more aggressive approach this time.
"Mitch, why can't you just let me do what I want to do." Ben responds and just sits up on his bed, he knows it is pointless trying to escape and decides to just try and talk his way out.
"Because Matt is getting worse." Mitch replies in a sad tone, he had wanted to try the aggressive approach again, but the truth was that Matt was not coping without Ben and everyone was concerned for him and he just couldn't muster up enough energy to try and act tough any more.
"What?" Ben asks and despite his determination, he couldn't hide the concern in his voice.
"He won't talk to anyone and just lays there Ben." Mitch answers, although he is holding back because he didn't want his little brother just brush off a long explanation
"So what, he doesn't need to talk to get better and it's not like he wasn't just laying there anyway so what's the difference?" Ben asks almost coldly, after managing to put his mask back up and pretend he didn't care.
"You forgot didn't you." Mitch states and lets out a sad sigh, he was still convinced his little brother was putting on an act, but he could tell that he had genuinely forgot about it.
"Forgot what?" Ben asks and again lets his guard down.
"He was meant to start his physiotherapy four days ago, but he refuses to talk to anyone let alone cooperate with the doctors." Mitch explains, but doesn't get the reaction he had hoped for.
"So what, he will get over himself soon and they can do it then." Ben answers coldly, although inside he was genuinely worried by his brothers words, but he was determined to never see Matt again, he just didn't want to risk being hurt again.
"Ben if he doesn't start as soon as possible then he may never recover and I know we all told you that he may never be able to walk without at least a limp, but if he doesn't get started on getting better now and leaves it too long, he may never get better and right now despite us all telling him this, he just doesn't care any more." Mitch explains, although if truth be told he wasn't entirely sure what the doctors had meant when they said Matt may never recover and assumed they meant something to do with his ability to walk.
"Can't they force him?" Ben asks and this time he drops his guard on purpose, the thought Matt may never walk again slaps him straight out of his thoughts of not caring about him any more.
"They can to a certain extent, but it won't be enough for him to get better Ben, unless he cooperates then there is a chance he may never walk again, even if he does the physiotherapy eventually, because he waited so long his chances to even walk with just a limp are extremely low." Mitch answers as honestly as he can, he is sure if Carter was here then he could explain it a lot better, but Mitch knew he was close enough to the truth and he can see that he was getting through to his little brother.
"Mitch he held me so I couldn't move and stuck his finger in my bum, how am I meant to trust him again?" Ben then asks catching his brother off guard, Mitch hadn't expected this kind of question and wasn't sure how to answer for a few moments.
"We talked about this Ben, you're as much to blame as Matt is, if not more so because he is not well and has been through so much, I know you have been through a lot too, but Matt has been molested by his teacher and tortured and raped by his own dad, so while what he did was an awful thing Ben and believe me if it was anyone else or he hadn't been through what he has, I would have beaten him myself and you know that there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect you and if I genuinely thought Matt was not to be trusted then I wouldn't let you see him ever again." Mitch states, deciding to just speak from the heart and hope that the truth is enough to get through to him.
"What if he does it again or something worse to me?" Ben asks, after deciding to reveal his real fears to his brother.
"Ben he loves you, he was just confused and you hardly helped the situation by making him look at your bum hole like that and I warned you a long time ago that you shouldn't do anything sexual with him until he was better and you didn't listen." Mitch answers honestly, although he is happy that he is making progress and is now realising why his little brother has been the way he is.
"What if he gets confused again though and he does something worse to me?" Ben then asks, repeating his question and Mitch instantly realises that he has to tread carefully, unless he wants his little brother to convince himself to never trust his boyfriend again.
"I would say you have a point, but I have seen him this past week Ben and he is devastated and hates himself and I'm not talking about the fake hate you have towards him, I'm talking about real hate, he knows exactly what he is doing by not doing his physiotherapy and has tried to hurt himself several times." Mitch answers, deciding to reveal that Matt had been trying to hurt himself, he wasn't going to mention it but his little brothers question was too important for him to hide the truth any more.
"He has been hurting himself? But how?" Ben asks in a shocked and concerned tone, maybe he could have ignored Matt feeling guilty, but trying to hurt himself was making all sorts of alarm bells ring in his head.
"I know I said he just laid there in his bed now, but he has tried to throw himself off his bed and the first two times he succeeded, it ripped his IV out both times and well there was a lot of blood and he passed out the first time dad told me." Mitch answers honestly, although there was something else, he wanted to gauge his little brothers reaction to this before telling him and a part of him didn't want to say it either.
"But he is okay, I mean now that they know he is doing it, they can stop him doing it again and I don't really care." Ben lies, he was frightened he would never see Matt again and he almost gave up his determination to not see him again but it wasn't enough and he was still going to never see him again.
"Ben he tried to cut his wrists, he pulled out his IV and tried to use it to cut them, but his mum was watching and she managed to get in the room and stop him, the doctors have him restrained and Wesley's dad said that he needs to be somewhere he can be treated and looked after for people like him." Mitch then states, deciding to just tell his little brother the whole truth and hope that it knocked some sense into him.
"You're lying just so I will go and see him, there is no way he would have done that without someone telling me at the time." Ben responds with fake confidence, he is not sure why he is resisting so much, when he knows in his heart that he wants to be with his boyfriend, but is now just letting his pride get in the way.
"I give up, you know I love you and would do anything for you Ben, but right now you disgust me." Mitch states bluntly and not hiding his disgust, he couldn't believe after all that he had told his little brother that he was still resisting and acting like this.
"What?" Ben asks in shock, he couldn't believe what his brother had just said and it cut him deep and he knew he deserved it.
"Your boyfriend and yes 'your boyfriend' has been molested, stripped in public, tortured and raped by his own dad and had the one person he truly loves disown him and hate him and it is too much for him and thanks to you Ben, he has finally given up and wants to die and all you can do is sulk like a disgusting selfish prick." Mitch states coldly and decides to carry on. "So you know what, don't talk to me or even look at me, because right now..." He starts to say, but he is interrupted by his little brother crying and he comes to his senses before he said something he would regret for the rest of his life.
"Under my bed Mitch, I'm going to get washed up." Ben then says while sniffling, as he gets up from the bed and walks past his brother, who makes no attempts to stop him this time.
"Ben I didn't..." Mitch begins to say, but his little brother is quick to interrupt.
"Yes you did, just look under the bed and I will be back in a few minutes." Ben manages to say before he starts crying again, he then turns and walks out of his room and towards the bathroom.
Now alone in his little brothers room, Mitch turns to his bed and walks over before kneeling down, he had no idea what he would find and when he lifted the sheet that was overhanging the side and just took a deep breath, before being stunned to see what was basically a shrine of Matt, he had seen them in films and most boarded on tacky and creepy, but just like the one he found himself looking at, some were beautiful and showed how much the person meant to them, his eyes then shifted towards the head of the bed area and he saw Matt's guitar and smiled, it had been cleaned and a green bow tied around it and then he noticed the envelope and couldn't help but pull the guitar out and lay it on the bed after getting back to his feet.
"He gave it to me to look after when he went away with his mum." Ben states out of the blue and causes his brother to jump a little.
"Ben I don't..." Mitch begins to say, but once again just like earlier his little brother is quick to interrupt him.
"The other day I looked at it and realised that I missed him and I wanted to give it back to him, but Mitch he hurt me and not just putting his finger in my bum, I mean he hurt me here." Ben states and points to his heart. "Mitch, we have always trusted each other and I mean really trust and I knew he would never ever hurt me, but now I don't believe it and what if he tries to force me to do things and I can't stop him, Mitch what if he rapes me?" He then asks and he can see the shocked expression on his brothers face.
"This is why you don't want to see him again?" Mitch asks, his head was spinning a little, it was clear his little brother still loved Matt, but he was genuinely afraid of him as well.
"I miss him so much Mitch, but I'm scared of him and what he could do to me." Ben answers honestly as tears roll down his face.
"He would never hurt you, what he did to you was bad and you know I agree that it was wrong, but it was also something you two would have been doing eventually anyway and as weird and wrong as this sounds Ben, I doubt it would have been more than a few months before you both got curious enough to try that sort of thing and if it wasn't for David doing what he did, I would guess the two of you might have tried it together by now." Mitch states honestly, but decides to not say anything else and let his little brother think about it for a few moments.
"What?" Ben asks, not really sure what to make of his brothers speech.
"Ben you made him look at your bum hole, he didn't want to and you made him and from what I know of you two, you weren't just laying over him and letting him look without something else going on and since he has a catheter, I'm going to say you were doing something with his balls, am I right or not?" Mitch then asks, he knew this was risky and he had no real idea other than past experiences of walking in on the boys accidentally.
"Maybe, but what does that have to do with anything?" Ben responds, not seeing his brothers point at all.
"Honestly Ben, you were turning him on, it has been so long since he has had anything sexual done to him, so what would be going through your mind if the love of your life was, I'm just going with sucking your balls and he had his bum in front of you?" Mitch responds and he can see his little brother thinking, although if he was honest he had no idea where that came from and was just winging the whole conversation and hoping something worked because so far despite making progress, he had failed to make his little brother see sense.
"I liked it." Ben then says, before falling silent as he stares at his brother with a slight blush.
"What?" Mitch asks and just had no idea what to make of that statement.
"When he put his finger in it hurt and it felt weird, but good weird and maybe one day er... I don't know, but I liked it Mitch." Ben answers, but starts to blush a little more and Mitch can't help but blush himself, he hadn't expected this at all and had to admit it was a little too weird of a conversation for him to be having with anyone, let alone his twelve year old little brother.
"Ben I don't really need to know that sort of thing, but as it's already been said, then all I can ask is why you aren't with Matt right now, I get that you were scared, but if you liked it then you should have just talked to him and explained why you were upset." Mitch then states, trying to try and get some grip on the conversation, which at the moment is definitely not in a place he is comfortable with.
"Is he really trying to hurt himself?" Ben then asks, he just needs to hear it again despite knowing his brother wouldn't lie and especially about something like that.
"Ben I wish I just made it up, but he really hates himself and you're the only one who can fix him." Mitch answers, using the word 'fix' deliberately as he knows it is a term his little brother has heard his boyfriend use many times and was hoping it would have some sort of effect.
"Where are Wesley and Carter?" Ben then asks and again Mitch looks at his little brother and wonders what is going through his mind.
"I'm not sure why?" Mitch answers honestly and with a curious expression.
"Can you phone them and tell them both to meet us at the hospital please." Ben answers and a little smile spreads across his face.
"Should be easy, but why?" Mitch can't help but ask, after seeing the change in his little brother's mood.
"Dad and Sarah need to be there as well, but well they will be there anyway I guess." Ben then states, but more as a statement than actually talking to his brother, who just gives him a confused look.
"Ben what is going on?" Mitch asks, he isn't sure if he should be happy or worried by his little brothers behaviour right now.
"I'm going to sing to him and it's going to be with everyone watching, I'm going to fix him and never let him go again." Ben answers with a gigantic grin on his face and Mitch can't help but sigh in relief and quickly moves over to his little brother and cuddle him tightly.
"About fucking time Ben." Mitch says, before releasing his little brother and smiling at him. "What song are you going to sing?" He then asks, he couldn't help being curious.
"It's a secret, but it says everything I need Matt to hear and he is going to love it." Ben responds with a grin, he doubted anyone could guess what the song is even if he gave them a hundred guesses.
"Go get a shower then Ben and we will pick Wesley and Carter up on the way." Mitch then instructs his little brother, he thought about trying to get the song out of him, but thought better of hassling him and just enjoyed the fact that the two boys were going to be reunited.
"You said you didn't know where they were though." Ben then states, not that he didn't want to pick them up on the way but he was just curious and didn't see any harm in asking.
"Come on they are almost as bad as you and Matt, so they are at one of their houses and I'm guessing with his parents both at work that they are at Wesley's and besides either way they are both on the way to the hospital, so get a shower and I will pick out something for you to wear." Mitch answers and can't help teasing his little brother just a little, although he did actually think of a particular outfit his little brother had, that he knew Matt really liked and was going to lay it out whether his little brother told him to go away or not.
"Okay, but if you pick out something stupid, just so you can make fun of me you can't go to the hospital with me and I will just walk or get a bus." Ben responds with a grin, although Mitch knows his little brother too well to know that wasn't an empty threat and couldn't help but be proud of him.
"I promise now get a move on." Mitch says and smiles when his little brother gives him a quick cuddle.
"Mitch?" Ben then asks and Mitch is curious by his little brothers expression and wondered what he was thinking.
"Yeah?" Mitch responds and maintains his curious expression.
"How did you know I was lying about not loving him any more?" Ben then asks, he thought he had everyone convinced and felt like he hated his boyfriend but was curious to know how his brother knew the truth.
"Your ring Ben." Mitch answers with a small grin, he had purposely been vague to enjoy the look of confusion on his little brothers face.
"Huh?" Ben asks in response, he didn't get his brothers response at all and was just confused.
"Ben you never took the ring off, if you hated him like you were pretending then you would have thrown it away or at the very least taken it off, so yeah your ring gave you away and well the fact that your eyes lit up a little every time his name was mentioned." Mitch explains with a smile, he had his doubts at times that his brother was lying, but every time he saw the ring and that little twinkle in his little brothers eyes he knew he just had to keep pushing him to see sense.
"I love him so much Mitch." Ben then says after moving over to cuddle his brother lovingly again.
"I know you do and you two are going to be together forever Ben." Mitch responds and ruffles his little brothers hair affectionately.
"I love you too." Ben then says before pulling away from the embrace to smile shyly at his brother, he really did love him and he just couldn't ever imagine his life without his brother in it.
"I love you too Ben, but go get a shower and then get dressed." Mitch then states and smiles lovingly as he gets a quick peck on the cheek before watching as his little brother disappears out of the room and into the bathroom.
"Mike, I have been thinking about what you said after we met with that lawyer." Sarah states, while they both sit outside of her sons hospital room.
"I know you don't like the idea, but the boys will make up and the property is perfect and is is almost right between where Carter and Wesley live." Mike responds, he knew that Sarah didn't like the idea of the boys living separately, but when they found the property that was basically a house with a pool house, they both couldn't help but think it was amazing.
"I know, but with Ben refusing to come and visit Matt and with Colin recommending that we put Matt somewhere more suited to stop him hurting himself, it might be time I moved him back to England and make a fresh start, I know you meant a fresh start with all of us in that house, but without Ben he just can't be here and I'm afraid he will kill himself Mike." Sarah then states honestly, before they had all realised how serious the boys separation was she had convinced herself that living with Mike and his sons was the best for both their families and the property they discovered was perfect and the pool house was huge and perfect for her son and Ben, but now she could only see one option and that was to make a clean start with her son.
"Sarah, Ben will come around, Mitch is doing his best and I honestly believe things will get better." Mike responds honestly, he really did think his eldest son will get his youngest to see sense and it was only a matter of time.
"He tried to cut his wrists and they have him strapped to his bed Mike, he is already four days behind his physiotherapy and it's only going to get worse, I need to get him away from here and somewhere where he can forget about Ben and concentrate on himself." Sarah responds and she can see the look of hurt on her friends face. "Mike, don't look at me like that, I have to put my son first and you know I love Ben, but I can't lose my son Mike, I just can't lose him." She then says and before see can react she feels herself being pulled in for a loving cuddle and cries on his shoulder.
"I know, just give Mitch another week and then what ever you decide to do, I will support you one hundred percent and help you in any way I can." Mike then states sincerely, he had really become attached to Sarah and it had been a long time since he let someone into his heart, although just like Sarah he didn't see any chance of romance, he could never love someone after his wife and had accepted that a long time ago, but he enjoyed Sarah's company and didn't want her to leave.
Before Sarah can make any attempt to reply, a man walks over to them and coughs, causing both her and Mike to look up at the stranger in confusion, neither recognised him and they couldn't help but wonder who he was.
"Do we know you?" Mike asks, deciding that he should do the talking.
"My name is Jason Locke and I'm Mr Summers lawyer." Jason states in a professional tone as he looks between the two people in front of him.
"What do you want?" Mike asks and can't hide the annoyance in his voice, not that he had anything against the man himself, he respected that lawyers had a job to do no matter which side they were on, but the fact David had obviously sent him, had him on edge and he knew Sarah would be thinking the same thing.
"My client would like to see his wife." Jason answers, but he can see from the look on both their faces that he said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry, he asked me if Mrs Summers would agree to meet him." He then says, correcting himself, personally he didn't want any part of this case and especially defending an obvious monster like David Summers but he had no choice and if he wanted a job then he had to do it, so the last thing he wanted to do was make this any harder than it already would be for her.
"We are not interested Mr Locke, she has nothing to say to that son of a bitch." Mike responds, assuming that Sarah was too upset to speak and when she made no effort to say anything, he knew he did the right thing.
"I'm not sure what he wants exactly, but he instructed me to say 'Tobias' if you wouldn't come, I'm sorry if I'm causing you any distress I really am but I have a job to do and I hope you understand." Jason then states and Mike knows the man is being genuine and decides not to be rude, but before he gets a chance to respond he feels Sarah pull away from him.
"Did he say anything else?" Sarah asks, the only reason David would use that is because he knew she was looking for him, but he wouldn't use it to get her attention unless he knew something.
"No sorry and I honestly have no idea what that name means or why he asked me to say it, all I can tell you I that he wants to speak with you alone." Jason begins to explain, but can see that he is about to be interrupted and knows what the man is going to say. "There will be someone outside the door and my client is restrained, there will be no danger to Mrs Summers, I may have a duty to my client, but I would never be a part of something that would put someone in danger, you have my word." He then adds and he can tell that he had guessed correctly what the man was going to say by his expression.
"Thank you Mr Locke and sorry my name is Mike Walker, just so you know and I respect that you have a job to do." Mike then states, deciding that he liked the man and also that he probably had no idea who he was.
"Pleased to meet you Mr Walker and yes I do have a job to do and I'm glad that you understand." Jason responds with a smile.
"Tell him that I will see him later today, but if he tries anything or has no information about Tobias then I will leave." Sarah then states firmly, she would be happy to never see her husband again, but if he knew where Tobias was then she had no choice but to at least hear him out.
"Thank you and I'm so sorry Mrs Summers, I really do mean that and I will let my client know that you have agreed, goodbye to the both of you and again I'm sorry." Jason responds sincerely, it was times and cases like this that made him question his desire to be a lawyer and if he could afford it he would quit.
"Goodbye Mr Locke." Mike answers and watches as the man walks away and turns to Sarah. "Are you sure about this?" He asks in a concerned tone.
"No, but if he knows something about Tobias, than I have to listen Mike, but if he is just using him to get me to talk with him then I will leave the room." Sarah answers honestly, she knew there was the high chance that this was just to get her to meet him and she was preparing herself for that moment.
Before Mike gets a chance to say anything else, he sees over her shoulder that his eldest son is walking towards them with Wesley and Carter either side of him and although he is happy to see them all, he was disappointed not to see his youngest son.
"Hello Dad and hello Sarah." Mitch states with a smile and Mike instantly looks at him in surprise, he hadn't seen him look happy for days and wondered what was going on.
"Afternoon Mitch and the same to you two." Mike responds and smiles at both Carter and Wesley, who he notices are also smiling.
"Afternoon boys, why are you looking so happy?" Sarah asks in a happy tone and is just glad to see someone not looking glum and miserable for a change.
"You will see in a few minutes, but you two need to go inside and wait for us to come in." Mitch responds without dropping his smile.
"Mitch what is going on?" Mike can't help but ask, he could only think of one reason the boys look so happy, but he couldn't see his youngest son anywhere and he dismissed his thoughts as wishful thinking.
"Dad, just do as I say please, just go in and sit down, we will follow in a few minutes so get two chairs out for us three as well." Mitch then states.
"Two chairs?" Carter asks, which surprises Mitch, who had been expecting his dad or maybe even Sarah to ask.
"Well yeah, I just assumed you would sit on Wesley, you can have your own..." Mitch begins to explain, but is quickly cut off.
"No, no I will be fine on my boyfriend." Carter states with an adorable shy smile and even Sarah, who had been distracted in her own thoughts, couldn't help but notice and smiled at the little boys enthusiasm.
"Okay, so come on go in you two." Mitch then states, looking between his dad and Sarah, who for a moment look like they are going to say something, but they do as they are told and disappear inside the room.
As he finally gets changed into the outfit his brother had choose for him, Ben can't help but smile at himself in the mirror and was so happy with the clothes and he knew he was right to trust his brother and just knew his boyfriend would love it, then with one last look to make sure he looked okay, he picks up his boyfriends guitar and walks out of the toilet and starts walking towards his boyfriends room and within a few moments he sees his two friends waiting for him with big smiles on their faces, although he notices Wesley giving him a curious look.
"Wait you're going to play the guitar as well?" Wesley asks as he and his boyfriend stand hand in hand in front of their friend, he had thought maybe he would have to play it, but seeing it around his friends shoulder he knew that wasn't the case.
"Well duh, why do you think I brought it with me." Ben says a little more harshly than he intended, but he was getting nervous because this was going to be his first time performing in front of anyone, except that one time in front of his boyfriend and Mr Morgan, so he was starting to get second thoughts.
"Honestly, when you said you were going to sing I thought you wanted me to play the guitar, well that and trying not to laugh because you're a terrible singer Ben, no offence but are you sure you can't just like kiss him and just make up like that?" Wesley responds in his usual honest way and despite his boyfriend giving him a nudge in the ribs, he can tell his friend took it as he intended.
"We will see about that." Ben states with a smile and Wesley can't help but become curious, he had heard his friend sing in class and it wasn't good, not even funny bad, just bad and it was as if he was trying his best to... and then he couldn't help wondering, there was no way his friend was going in to the room full of the people he loved the most to sing and not know what he was doing and he couldn't help smiling.
"Why are you both smiling? I don't get it." Carter asks in a confused tone, he was smart and probably the smartest in the group, but he was completely lost at this exchange and had nothing to put it in any sort of context.
"You will see, just go in and I will be right behind you in a few moments." Ben states, half ignoring his friends confusion, he just needed a few moments to concentrate and compose himself.
Inside the room everyone is silent, only Mitch and the two boys knew what was going to happen, but Matt was not even acknowledging any of them and the room was full of tension, Mitch himself was trying his best not to give anything away and had to look away from Sarah, who just looked so sad looking at her son.
"Mitch why are we all here?" Mike then asks breaking the silence, unaware that his youngest son was even in the hospital, let alone just outside the door.
"We are here for Matt, he needs to see that we all care for him and that we are here for him." Mitch answers, not quite being honest but at the same time not lying.
"Something is going on isn't..." Mike begins to say, but the sound of Matt gasping draws everyone's attention to him and then follow his gaze to see Ben standing at the door with a guitar in his arms.
While Wesley, Carter and Mitch look at him with a knowing smile, Sarah and Mike look on in a mixture of confusion and curiosity and just as Mike is about to say something, he is stunned into silence when Ben starts playing the guitar and then starts singing.
"This time, this place misused, mistakes
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breathJust in case there's just one left
'Cause you know you know, you know
That I love you I have loved you all along and I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."
Everyone except Mitch, just looks at Ben open mouthed, while he had told his dad and Sarah that Ben could sing, they had never heard him and while Carter looked on and enjoyed the song, his boyfriend couldn't help but wonder how the hell his friend had kept the fact he could sing a secret so well and for so long and just stares in disbelief and he hadn't even gotten to processing how well Ben is playing the guitar.
"On my knees, I'll ask last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstandAll of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for usGive anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know you know, you know."
While everyone else is enjoying the surprising yet emotional performance, Matt had sat up as much as the restraints would let him in his bed and was staring lovingly at his boyfriend, he had thought he would never see him again and actually felt a little anger when he saw him standing in front of his bed, but as soon as he started singing and recognised the song and the obvious meaning, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face if his life depended on it and all his self hated and pity vanished.
"That I love you I have loved you all along
and I miss you been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
So far away, so far awayBeen far away for far too long
So far away, so far awayBeen far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know."
Mitch now noticing Matt's reaction to the performance, actually wonders if the rest of them should be there, this was clearly a tender moment between the two boys and he felt a little guilty at being there, but he also knew that there was a reason his little brother had insisted they had to be there, he just didn't know what it was and wasn't going to be a complete tool and ask.
"I wanted, I wanted you to stay'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you, I have loved you all alongAnd I forgive you, for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leavingHold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymoreBelieve it, hold on to me andNever let me go
Hold on to me and never let me goHold on to me and never let me go."
"You don't hate me any more?" Matt quickly asks and while everyone was in awe of Ben's performance, all eyes now alternated between the two boys.
"I never hated you, I was just angry and I still am." Ben answers honestly, he was not totally forgiving his boyfriend for what he did, this wasn't about that, this was about letting him know he loved him and didn't ever want to be away from him.
"I don't understand." Matt then says, he was so sure he would never see his boyfriend again and then here he was singing a song that told him that they would be together again, but his boyfriend was still angry with him and he was just lost.
"I meant every word of that song Matt and I will never leave you, but what you did was wrong and we need to talk about it and I'm sorry but I'm still angry with you." Ben explains honestly and he can see his boyfriend understands and desperately wants to hold him.
"I missed you too and I do love you." Matt then says and tries to lift his hand up to wipe his face, but he is instantly reminded that he had been restrained and looks at his boyfriend with an ashamed look.
"Why aren't you doing your physiotherapy Matt?" Ben then asks and he can see that his boyfriend hadn't expected the question.
"I don't know." Matt answers meekly, he now felt everyone looking at him and it was getting too much for him to handle and wanted to scream for them to leave, but instead he gave his boyfriend a pleading look.
"Thank you for all coming in, but you need to all go now, sorry I know it's rude but we need to talk and everyone staring at him is too much and it's not fair on him." Ben then states as he looks at his family and friends, he knows they will understand and he hoped they understood why he had asked them to come in and see his performance, if not he would explain it if they asked later.
With that they each said goodbye to both Matt and Ben before leaving and Matt for the first time all week actually spoke to them and struggled to not cry as they all left.
"Thank you Ben." Matt then says, he was so happy that despite being apart his boyfriend for what seemed like forever he could still read him like a book and knew just what he needed.
"Now answer the question Matt and please don't lie, I need you to be honest if you want me to trust you again." Ben then states, he wanted to get this part of their reunion over with as quickly as possible so that he could just kiss his boyfriend.
"I wanted to die, you know because of what I did to you and I knew you hated me." Matt answers honestly, although he thought maybe he should have been more careful with his choice of words after seeing the expression on his boyfriends face.
"Matt you can't put that on me, if we ever break up or fight you can't try to hurt yourself, it's not fair on me and if you loved me you wouldn't do that." Ben then says, he knows he is maybe being a little blunt, but he really wanted to get this off his chest now.
"It's not just you though, I love you so much Ben but everything is just too much and I guess I'm just pathetic and stupid." Matt responds in a sad tone and looks down at his restraints and sniffles.
"You're not pathetic, but you're stupid Matt." Ben states, before walking over to his boyfriend and begins to undo the restraints on his legs.
"What are you doing?" Matt asks curiously while he watches his legs being freed.
"No one ties my boyfriend up except me." Ben answers with a small smile, before moving on to one of his boyfriends arms to free it.
"But they will be angry, you don't know what I have done and it's really bad Ben." Matt quickly states nervously, he knew the doctors will not be happy and might make his boyfriend go away.
"I know you tried to throw yourself off the bed to hurt yourself like a total idiot and I know you tried to use your IV thing to cut your wrists you fucking moron and I'm so angry at you for doing that, but I'm here now and I won't let you hurt yourself any more." Ben responds sincerely if not a little pissed off, but he still manages to smile lovingly at his boyfriend, while he walks around to the other side of the bed and starts freeing his boyfriends other arm.
"I really wanted to die Ben, like really wanted too." Matt then says and Ben can tell his boyfriend is being serious.
"Do you want to die now?" Ben asks and although he tried to sound strong, he couldn't hide the nervousness in his tone.
"They took my catheter out." Matt states, ignoring his boyfriends question and just gives him a shy smile and Ben instantly understand what his boyfriend was really saying.
"I'm sorry Matt, but I'm still angry at you for what you did and we need to talk about it." Ben responds, reluctantly passing on his boyfriends suggestion, he only just managed to not give in and it was only the fact everyone he loved was just outside the door and while the blinds were closed, there was no way he was going to risk getting caught.
"I don't know why I did it Ben, I didn't want too do it and I knew you didn't want me too, but my head got all funny and I was confused and it just happened." Matt quickly states, trying to apologise and let his boyfriend know he didn't mean to do it.
"That's not good enough Matt." Ben responds and surprises himself as much as his boyfriend, everything his boyfriend said made sense in a way, but he needed something else and even though he had no idea what it was, he knew that wasn't it.
"I guess I did want to do it, but I knew I should have let you go, but I couldn't stop myself Ben, you have to believe me, I would never hurt you." Matt then states, he couldn't be more sorry or hate himself more, but he didn't know how to make this better and he was sure he was doing a crap job of apologising.
"You did hurt me though, but I also liked it." Ben states honestly, he could see the remorse on his boyfriends face and that is what he was looking for, he could see that his boyfriend loved him and would never do anything like that again and decided to be honest himself.
"You liked it?" Matt asks curiously, he wasn't sure what his boyfriends confession meant and was still scared that his boyfriend might not believe him.
"It hurt and I didn't want you to do it Matt, but yeah it was er... well it was weird and it's hard to explain, I mean it really hurt, but I guess I forgive you and as long as you promise never to do anything like that to me again, then we can try and move on." Ben answers, although he confused himself and was pretty sure his boyfriend would be confused just as much.
"What if I never get better though, my head is messed up Ben and I get so confused sometimes." Matt answers honestly, his boyfriend had made it clear he shouldn't lie and choose to just do his best to try and explain himself.
"You can't promise to never hurt me?" Ben asks in a surprised tone, he hadn't expected that answer and it made him nervous.
"You told me not to lie to you Ben and I'm not well and my brain is all weird, maybe I'm just not good enough to be your boyfriend any more." Matt answers honestly, realising that maybe he could never be allowed to love someone, he was broken and his dad had done this to him and he couldn't help but start crying.
"Hey, don't be stupid, I love you and we will get through this together." Ben says as he quickly gets up on the bed and cuddles up to his boyfriend, he hadn't planned on actually holding his boyfriend today, but seeing him like this just melted his heart and he wanted to comfort his boyfriend. "Sshh, I love you remember and don't you ever forget that." He then says before kissing his boyfriend on the cheek, he wasn't quite ready to kiss him properly yet, but he still wanted to kiss him.
"Jordan talked to me." Matt then states, deciding to tell his boyfriend just in case he didn't know already.
"I know, he tried to tell me, but I was being almost as stupid as you and refused to even talk about you." Ben responds and gives his boyfriend another kiss but this time on his nose and smiles when his boyfriend scrunches his nose up and he couldn't help thinking how adorable he looked when he did that.
"He helped me understand about the rape and how he was trying to deal with it, he also told me how he has struggled with what happened to him, you know Mr Jones and he said he was sorry for pretending he was alright, he didn't realise how him doing that was making me feel pathetic and it helped hearing that Ben, I mean I'm not fixed or anything but it helped and well I love you so much Ben, I want to get fixed for you so badly and make you proud." Matt then says and manages a weak smile.
"I knew he would be able to help you and I'm always proud of you Matt, I love you and we are forever right." Ben states with a loving smile.
"You were amazing by the way." Matt then states and leans in too kiss his boyfriend, but sensing he wasn't quite ready for how they used to kiss, he just kisses cheek and smiles.
"Amazing?" Ben asks curiously, forgetting what he had done a short while ago.
"The singing and I didn't know you could play the guitar either." Matt explains and he was genuinely surprised about the guitar, he remembered how his boyfriend used to stare at it and touch it, but every time he tried to try and get him to learn he seemed to shy away and make up some excuse.
"I have been trying to learn since you ended up in here, but I haven't had much time because I wanted to spend all my time here, but I got Mr Morgan to help me when you made me go back to school, I actually planned to sing it to you alone some time, but well after what happened last week, that kind of didn't happen." Ben explains honestly, he had actually learned a couple of songs and wanted to surprise his boyfriend.
"It was beautiful and I love you so much." Matt then says and quickly kisses his boyfriend on the cheek again.
"I love you too and I promise that I will never leave you Matt." Ben responds and kisses his boyfriends nose again and this time giggles when he sees him scrunch his nose up, it was just too cute and adorable to not love him and he can't stop himself from leaning in and kissing him again and they stay locked in their loving embrace for almost twenty minutes before the sound of the door opening, causes them to break their kiss and look to see who it is and both look shocked.
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