Knots, Book 5
by Elias Scott
I couldn't believe it, but Thomas called me Saturday around 8:00 PM. He was crying. He told me all about his talk with Colt and their date with Megan and Zoe. He told me he and Megan decided to be friends, and that surprised me.
At first it was hard to understand what he was saying through his tears, but I finally made out that he told Colt if he felt he needed to fly, then he should. Fly? What the hell? I shouldn't be surprised because that's exactly what I wanted to do. I didn't want to be locked in a cage like a bird, and to me, commitment was like being locked in a cage. Don't get me wrong, two lovebirds could be perfectly happy when locked together by love. They would feel fulfilled and happy. I wanted that security someday. Even then I remembered thinking it would be nice to always know that Andy or someone was there for me all the time. I knew it was important to feel loved and have someone to love, but for now I'd rather be a little on the edge and take chances.
Being Andy's boyfriend would have made me feel more settled and secure. But I was seventeen, and being unsettled and insecure was part of being a teenager. I just didn't want to feel that way when I was thirty.
Anyway, I listened to Thomas and tried to console him, thinking all the time that it was his own fault for letting Colt go. Well, that was only partly true at the time because Colt was supposed to get back to him on Sunday, but it seemed obvious to Thomas that Colt was going to "fly the coop", so to speak. That was really an old saying. I never quite understood it until this happened. Must have something to do with chickens.
Thomas tearfully rambled on, and I just listened because that's what I thought he needed. Finally, after going on for a couple of minutes he said, "I felt that if I really loved Colt I had to give him a chance to fly. Do you think that was the right thing to do?"
That was a question I didn't want to answer. "Well, I...I guess so."
"You don't sound very sure."
"Thomas, this is between you and Colt. Colt was probably going to fly whether you let him or not, so my opinion, for whatever it's worth, is that you were smart. This way there won't be any anger or bitterness between you. He'll love you for letting him fly." I let out a chuckle. "Sorry, I know it's not funny, but the idea that he wants to fly makes me smile."
"Glad you find it funny. But I don't."
"You're going to let him though, right?"
"Yeah. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."
"I understand. Anyway, he hasn't given you his answer yet, so relax and tell me more about your date with Megan."
He told me about their talk and that they were going to be friends, and he was happy to have a friend that was a girl. "Guys are great, but it's nice to have a woman in your life."
"Megan is smart and mature. Did you know her brother was killed by a drunk driver?"
"No. Thanks for telling me."
There was silence on the other side of the line for a few seconds. "Well, I gotta go. Thanks, Matt, for listening. I feel a little better, even though I think I lost him."
"Maybe, but if it was meant to be, then either he won't leave or he'll come back to you."
"But what if I don't want him back by then? That's what I'm afraid of."
"Don't worry about it until it happens. You know. Take it one day at a time. The thing we all forget because of our age is that we have a whole life in front of us, and we don't have to live it all from the time we hit puberty until we're eighteen. Even then, we're probably going to live at least another sixty years if we're lucky. Keep things in perspective. That's what my dad always tells me."
I heard a laugh at the other end of the line. "How did you get so wise?"
"I pray for wisdom."
"Do you really pray? You seem like the type, but after everything you've done, I can't see you praying."
"You know what Thomas, and I'm sorry if I sound like Saint Matthew. That's what Andy calls me when he thinks I'm acting like I know it all. But I believe God always loves us no matter what, even if we are stupid sometimes. So when everything turns to shit and my life seems to be falling apart, I always know God loves me, and it makes me feel secure. It's hard to explain. So yes, I pray for wisdom in hopes that I won't make more stupid mistakes or tie any more crappy knots in my life. But we're human after all, so I don't expect to be perfect."
"Maybe I need to pray…Pray that Colt doesn't fly away."
"No, pray that Colt makes the right decision for him. Anyway, I have a date with Megan tomorrow. Can I talk to her about your new friendship?"
"Yeah. She'd like that. Are you going to have sex?"
"You sure can put a lot into one sentence." "Just curious."
"I honestly don't know. That's not my first goal. But I do feel more confident than I would have if I never had sex with you or Andy or any of the multitude of guys I've slept with. God, that sounds so terrible."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh nothing." I forgot that Thomas didn't know about our prostitution and sex with older guys.
"It was only Randy, Andy, and me," he said. "I wouldn't call that a multitude."
"Yeah, you're right. Anyway, I think I could be romantic and not fumble around too much. After all, if I can suck and lick a guy's smaller breasts, I'm sure I could do the same with a girl's. If I can squeeze those sweet-ass globes of yours and Andy's, I'm sure I could do the same with her tits and ass. I'd just have to be sure I put my dick in the right hole if we decided to fuck."
Thomas chuckled. "Thanks for making me laugh. But now that Megan and I are friends, the idea of you having sex with her doesn't seem right. It doesn't even sound right when you talk like that."
"I didn't say I was going to have sex with her. I was talking in general. I'm not sure about licking her vagina. Hell, if I can lick some guy's asshole, I can sure lick a woman's clitoris. It's sure not a cock, but you know what, according to Andy, they get all wet and lubed up and the thought of putting my dick in a nice well-lubricated hole is a bit tempting. "Clitoris?" Thomas asked.
"Yeah, my mom embarrassed me by telling me about girls when I was younger. It was an uncomfortable talk. She told me the clitoris is like the sensitive part of a guy's penis."
"Where's it located?"
"Why do you want to know? You're not into girls."
"I'm just curious."
"I think if the girl is lying on her back, it would be on the upper part of the vagina. I'm not quite sure, but if you lick it, it supposedly really turns them on. You know, it's a little like getting your dick sucked and having the sensitive part of your penis licked and sucked. I think the clitoris might even get a little hard, but I'm not sure."
"You're embarrassing me. I don't want talk about this anymore. Just treat Megan with respect."
"I will. Hell, I don't know if she's even interested in me. But if she is, then maybe over time we might have sex, but I wouldn't force myself on her."
"Okay, I have to go. Thanks for listening to me, Matt. I feel a little better. I might even pray tonight."
"Don't forget to pray for wisdom too. Although, I think you're wiser than most. Maybe there's a future for you and me. Who knows?"
"That'll never happen," he said with a chuckle.
"Hey, in life, you just never know. Goodnight. Pleasant dreams, and don't forget to say your prayers."
I could hear the smile in his voice.
What a Saturday we had. I hadn't had sex with someone my own age except Matt for quite a while until Ashton and I fucked in public. I suggested the three of us do it in the park again, but Scott didn't like the idea.
"Haven't you done it in public with Ashton before?"
"Yeah, but it scared the shit out of me, and while it was hot, I don't like the idea of getting caught. Let's go somewhere else."
"We can go to my place," I said. "My parents know I'm gay, and while they don't like the idea of me having sex, they are fine with it as long as I lock my door." I looked up like I was thinking. "But now that I think of it, I believe they were just thinking about Matt and me having sex. I'm not sure about a threesome with two guys they don't know. Matt and I and another guy used to have sex at a vacant house. We could look for one, or go out to the pond."
"Pond?" Ashton asked.
"Yeah, Matt and I found this great place. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling other kids about it, and now we never know who might be out there."
Ashton laughed. "Sounds like the perfect place. It will be like having sex in public, but not in public at the same time. Do you think anyone will be out there?"
"I don't know."
"Let's go and find out," Scott said. "I have a car."
"We'll need a blanket, some sex toys, condoms, and lube. How 'bout taking me by my place to get swim trunks and the other condiments," I said. "You can do the same, and come back and pick me up."
Scott stood. "Great idea. Let's go."
There wasn't anyone at the pond, but the idea that kids could come by any time got me hard. Scott looked wary, but Ashton didn't give a shit.
Scott pointed at the pond. "Maybe we should fuck in the water in case anyone comes."
"Shit, Scott. We did porn. Your face, cock, and ass are probably in every pervert's home, and you're worried about someone catching us here?" Ashton asked.
"Don't remind me. That was a big mistake. You're right. God only knows who has that video."
I ignored them and spread the blanket on the ground and started to take my clothes off. "I'm going to jump on the rope and fly. Are you guys game?'
They both stripped. Scott put his swim trunks on, while Ashton and I swung naked. It didn't take long before Ashton and I were kissing and rubbing our hardened cocks and smooth bodies together. It felt frigging awesome. Scott stood at the edge of the pond, then said, "What the fuck," as he jumped in, pulled off his trunks, and threw them on the bank. The three of us wrestled, grabbed each other's asses, balls, and cocks, and were having a great ole time when Billy Martin, Gina, Emily, and Alan showed up.
We didn't notice until Billy let out a loud whistle. The games stopped. Billy yelled, "Half-time."
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.
"Came for a swim," Billy said. "But we didn't expect to find three naked wrestlers."
I moved away from the other guys. "Who said anyone was naked?"
"No one, but I see three sets of clothes sitting over there on the blanket."
Gina and Emily had shocked looks on their faces, but Alan just grinned.
"Okay, you caught us," I said.
Scott turned away until Billy asked, "I've seen the other guy at school, but who's the new guy?"
"He's Ashton's friend, Scott. We just met, and I thought it would be cool to come for a swim."
"Did you have anything else in mind?" Alan asked.
"No, just a swim."
"Then you won't mind if we join you, right? Billy asked.
I motioned for them to come in. "No, come in. You can join us."
Gina nudged Billy. "I think we should go."
"And miss all the fun?" Emily said.
Ashton moved to get out. "Then you won't mind if I get out."
He walked up the bank exposing his bare ass, found his blanket and laid face down on it. I did the same. Scott didn't move.
Billy nudged the others. "Let's go, and let them have their fun."
Ashton started to roll on his back, and Emily and Gina headed back up the trail. "Let's go," Gina said.
Alan waved. "Have fun, guys. Nice to meet you, Scott."
Billy smiled. "I'd like to stay and watch, but I guess it's too much for the girls."
"You're welcome to come back and join us," I said.
"I was just joking. I'm not into guys. Assholes don't interest me."
Ashton was on his back playing with his cock. "Are you sure you don't want some of this?"
I didn't move. Having our friends catch us wasn't what I'd counted on. Ashton got up on all fours, pulled his cheeks apart and asked, "How 'bout this?"
"I told you I'm not into assholes, pricks either. Get my meaning. I guess you guys are into assholes and pricks, so like Alan said, have fun." He turned and left.
Ashton rolled on his back. "What a prick."
Scott finally came out of the water. "Shit. What a fucking ass way to meet your friends. And Ashton, what the fuck's the matter with you. Couldn't you have just waited for them to leave?"
"Yeah, but that wouldn't have been any fun. We got rid of them, so let's play."
Ashton held his stiff cock out to me. Maybe that guy didn't want any of this, but I bet you do."
"Damn straight," I said as I moved down to take his cock into my mouth. Scott finally got over his fear, knelt down on the blanket and began licking my ass and making me moan.
Ashton gave a loud groan, then said, "Andy, that feels so fucking good. You are a fucking great cocksucker."
I came up for air. "I aim to please," I said before taking his cock into my mouth and going all the way down to his pubes.
"Fuck that's good."
Scott rolled on his back, slid his head between my legs, and took my cock in his mouth. I came off Ashton's cock. "Damn, Scott, you're a fucking great cocksucker too."
He licked the tip of my cock, rolled it around in his mouth, and then took it all the way in.
Ashton said, "I want to fuck you. Ride my cock."
Scott slid out from under me while I got up and almost sat on Ashton's cock without putting a condom on it.
"Scott, get the condoms and lube," I said.
He bent over to reach into the athletic bag, and all of a sudden I thought of Dillon. Scott's ass was beautiful, just a little lighter than the rest of him, but I couldn't get Dillon out of my mind or all the times we fucked at the pond. I had been so in love with him, and now all I had was a former lover in jail, a broken heart, a confused best friend, and two hot guys who were almost strangers. But hell, sex made me feel satisfied for the time being, so at that moment I decided to give into it all and enjoy it.
Scott put the condom on Ashton's cock and then greased it with lube. He motioned for me to lay on my back. He rolled my ass up, licked my hole a few times, lubed his finger, and stuck it in my hole, massaging my prostate with the skill of a pro.
"I'm sure glad you're not like Billy and like assholes," I said.
"Love them," he said. He kissed my ass, slapped it, and said, "Ride 'im cowboy." I squatted over Ashton's cock, grabbed it, and guided it smoothly into my ass. "Damn Scott, you're a great lube man." I leaned back and put my hands on the ground then began moving my ass up and down on Ashton's nice dick. Scott didn't miss a beat. He took my cock into his mouth while Ashton's cock was sliding in and out of me. I kept thinking, Fuck, I love threesomes. Ashton held my ass in his hands at first and then began rubbing my abs. It was awesome feeling his hands rub over the ripples of my stomach, while his cock moved in and out of my ass, as Scott sucked my cock. Unfortunately, it was so hot I was ready to cum. "Scott, I'm going to cum. Fuck, I'm going to cum. Swallow if you want." He stayed on my cock and swallowed my load as I pumped cum into his mouth. Then, he looked up and smiled as a bit of cum dribbled from his lips.
"What an amateur you are, Andy," Ashton said.
"Fuck you, Ashton. If anything, you're just one great fucker, and Scott is a damn good cocksucker. You should do porn."
They both laughed.
"Let me finish you guys off," I said. "Lay back and let my magic lips do their work."
I gave Scott what I hoped was one of the best blowjobs I'd ever given. Soon Scott started yelling, "I'm going to cum. Fuck. I'm going to cum." His cock pumped its load onto his stomach and he said, "You're a pretty damn good cocksucker yourself."
"Quick talking, and finish me off," Ashton demanded.
I put the tip of his cock in my mouth and swirled my tongue around it as I jacked him off. "Damn, Andy. Your mouth is hot." And without another word, he came in my mouth. I was a little pissed, but I held it in as I moved to his lips, kissed him, and let the cum drip into his mouth and over his face.
He kissed me back and swallowed his cum. The three of us fell on our backs exhausted and satisfied. For a time, I forgot about Matt and Dillon and the unexplained emptiness I felt. But as we laid there and came down from our sexual high, it all came rushing back and cinching the knots tighter.
Teenage years, having gone through it all, I know it's a rough, rough time, and I would say to accept that message of letting go, letting it happen and accepting that things don't always happen for a reason, or you may not understand the reason, but it's all part of the journey, and try to enjoy the ride. -- Austin Stowell
Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress. -- Melody Beattie
Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. -- Hermann Hesse
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. -- Thich Nhat Hanh
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