Knots, Book 4
by Elias Scott
All the lust went out of me as I laid there with Matt. His love passed from him to me like wireless internet. I felt like I could have stayed there with him forever. The odd thing was that we didn't have sex, but there was something about that time in his room, that at least for that moment was better than sex.
His hand was on my chest when I woke up, and he was looking down at me with such love in his eyes. I surprised him with a kiss and knew then that this was what I wanted. But I wasn't sure that I could define exactly what "this" was. Was it security or knowing that someone really loved me? Was is the thought of sex we might have in the future? Was it friendship? It sure wasn't lust.
Matt began rubbing my chest and stomach softly, and after I gave him a quick kiss, I told him about my dream. "I dreamt I was out in a small boat in a storm. The waves were huge like a hundred feet high. My little boat was at the bottom of the wave as it crashed down on me and the boat splintered into pieces. I kept searching the sea to find out if I survived." I tapped Matt on the nose. "By the way, they say you never die in your dreams, so eventually I saw my head come up out of the water as I got punched and rolled wave after wave. The thing is, unlike the boat, I didn't break into pieces. But I knew I was going to die. Then I opened my eyes and there you were staring down at me. And I felt safe."
He smiled. "Dr. Walker sure put a magic spell on you."
"Yeah, and you know what? I'm going to lay off Colt. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I am."
Matt gave me a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Damn, I'm glad to hear that."
Now I have to tell you, it was one thing for me to tell Matt that, and another to have it work out that way. As it turned out, it didn't work out the way I'd expected.
Things in life can start off slowly and build up speed. I think that's what they call inertia. Inertia is about the best way of explaining what happened next.
Thomas and Colt
Colt couldn't stop thinking about what Andy had said about him. He was flattered, and despite Thomas' warning, found himself thinking about Andy most of the day. He wanted to please him. The next day he found himself thinking about Andy while he was having sex with Thomas in his bedroom. Colt rolled out of bed and stood naked in front of the full-length mirror on his closet door. He turned to Thomas. "You know what, Andy's right. I do look like an athlete. All these years I just didn't have any confidence. I think I'm going to take Andy's advice, and try out for the basketball team."
Thomas leaned on his elbow. "Are you sure about this? You've never played on a team before."
"I know, but you and I have played basketball for fun. I'm not that bad. Why haven't you ever suggested I play basketball?"
Thomas looked Colt up and down. "I'm not sure. You do look like an athlete, and I love that smooth muscular body of yours."
Colt grabbed his cock between his fingers and wiggled it up and down as he turned in front of the mirror. "And I have this too."
Thomas smiled. "If you're going out for the team, then you should grab your balls, because it's going to take a lot of balls to go out for the team late and without any experience."
Colt frowned. "There you go again. You don't have confidence in me. Andy does."
Thomas got up off the bed, went over to Colt and put his arms around him. "I do have confidence in you, and I love this athletic body of yours, but I wouldn't be much of a boyfriend if I didn't tell you what I think."
Colt pulled out of the hug. They both looked in the mirror. Thomas nudged Colt with his elbow. "We both look pretty hot. If you want to play basketball, then good. I love the idea of having you on the team. Just stay away from Andy."
Colt gave Thomas a shove. "I told you not to tell me who I can hang with or talk to."
Thomas started to get dressed. "Okay. I'm just warning you. We both have a lot to lose."
"What do you mean? Lose what?"
Thomas didn't answer at first. "We could lose what we have."
Colt slipped his legs into his red boxer briefs and adjusted them around his waist. "That's never going to happen. I love you too much."
Thomas grabbed Colt's balls and cock through his briefs. "I love you, and I love this too."
They both smiled, finished dressing, and headed out the bedroom door to tell Colt's parents the good news.
It made me feel good to see Colt playing basketball, not only because he was hot, but because I had something to do with it. And like I'd told Matt, I decided that lusting after Colt was wrong for a lot of reasons, most of which Matt and I have already discussed. But then the unexpected happened.
Colt kept coming over to my locker after practice with his shirt off. And I have to tell you, his taut muscles, beautiful veined arms, well-proportioned legs, and handsome face, were more than I could bear. He'd make small talk while I got dressed. I'd see Thomas and Matt glance over at us every once in a while, but nothing was going on. He just seemed to want to talk. I figured it was his way of saying thanks. He'd gotten a lot better in just a week. His coach, Thomas, Matt, and I were impressed. We all told him so.
He played a little that Friday, and that made me feel good. I felt proud of myself for knocking off the hustling shit and deciding to leave him alone. But like I said, it wasn't easy because every time he came up to talk to me after practice, I wanted to take him down right there and fuck the shit out of him. Despite that, I didn't encourage him at all.
I was happy to see Dr. Walker that Saturday. I bragged and told him I'd managed to keep my boat on the shore and my head above water.
"But I've got to tell you, Doc. Colt keeps coming up and talking to me after practice. He never has his shirt on and he makes me drool."
Walker smiled. "Drool?"
"Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do. So what brought this change about?"
I leaned my elbows on my knees. "Matt."
"Matt?" he asked.
"Yeah, Matt. I went over his house after our last session and talked to him. I fell asleep in his arms, and you'll be happy to know that I dreamt I was out in a small boat that got broken to pieces in a storm. I barely survived."
"Interesting. Glad you survived."
"I did. But Matt was lying next to me when I woke up, and he looked at me with such love that I just knew I had to stop lusting after Colt. And believe me, Colt's made it harder than hell with his walking around shirtless every day after practice."
Walker wrote something down. "Do you think he wants you?"
"I don't think so. He's doing pretty well on the basketball team. He got a chance to play last night, and I think it's his way of saying thanks for encouraging him to come out for the team."
"Are you sure of that?"
"Damn, Doc. It's hard enough just to talk to him. Neither of us needs to see more in his actions than what's there."
Walker nodded his head. "You're right. I apologize. But I do get paid to ask the tough questions."
"I know. And you are damn good at it."
He wrote something down again and then turned to me as I leaned back in the chair. "Let's take a hypothetical example. What if he is interested in you for the very reason you said, and because he's thankful, he wants to have sex with you?"
"He doesn't. I've thought about telling him to put his shirt on before he comes over, but I thought that might be weird. You know, he might read too much into it."
"Why does it bother you that he has his shirt off? Does it bother you if Matt or Thomas, or any of the other players come up to you with their shirts off?"
I shook my head. "Look, Doc. I'm doing my damndest to keep from taking him down right there in the locker room. I can't take it. "
Then of course he had to come back with a question. "So what are you going to do about it?"
"Damn, Doc. Hell if I know."
"What do you think you should do?"
"Ask him to quit coming over and talking to me because Thomas might get the wrong idea. Thank him for taking the time to show how much he appreciates me encouraging him to come out for the team, and suggest it might be a good idea for us to go back to the way things were. You know, just casual friends."
Walker leaned forward. "How do you think he'd react?"
"I think his feelings would be hurt."
"Andy, this is what us old folks call a 'catch-22'; you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Our actions have consequences. You got the ball rolling, and now you can't stop it."
"Boy, you finally gave me an answer, and it describes it perfectly. It's a catch-22, and the ball is rolling fast and getting bigger all the time."
Walker took a look at his notes and then his watch. "Andy, this is our last session. You've made a lot of progress. Letting go of your obsession with Colt shows a lot of growth. I'm proud of you. But before we run out of time, I want to tell you how much I've enjoyed working with you and seeing the progress you've made. I was worried last week that you were going to follow your lustful desires and go after Colt, but I'm glad you didn't. It always bothers me to see my relationship with clients end, but unfortunately, or maybe I should say fortunately, my relationship with my clients have to end at some point. We have some time left. Tell me how you feel about the work we've done."
I paused because so many thoughts were going through my head. "That's a hard one, Doc. It's been an up and down experience for me. But I'd say a lot more ups than downs. You've made me see my world differently. But to be honest, I'm not sure what's going to happen after I leave here today."
He leaned forward and put his hand on my knee. "Andy, I'll always be here. Don't be afraid to call if you need me. The call is free."
His hand on my knee felt good, not in a sexual way, but in a way that told me he sincerely meant what he said. "Thanks, Doc."
We chatted on for a while, and then I sadly left Dr. Walker's office after giving him a big hug. I was going to miss him.
Andy was true to his word. He didn't pursue Colt. The problem was, it appeared that Colt was pursuing Andy. He kept going over to Andy's locker after practice. Yeah, Colt's shirt was off, and I have to admit that he made me drool a little. But Andy acted cool, and when he and I talked about it later, he told me it was taking everything in his power to keep from taking Colt down right there in the locker room. I let out a big laugh. "I know what you mean. He's gotten hotter since he's been going with Thomas. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's just confidence."
"You're right. But I don't know what to do."
"Tell him to back off because you don't want to get between him and Thomas."
"That's not a bad idea. It might work. It's worth a try."
Dr. Walker and I had an easy last session. He knew by then that my life was back on track, and that he didn't have to worry about me heading down the wrong path. Or at least, he hoped he wouldn't have to worry about me.
He asked me what I learned, and I was stuck for an answer. "I hate to tell you, Doc, but I don't know. It's like I changed but have no idea why or what it is you did except ask all those questions I had to answer."
He gave me a wide grin. "You did all the work. I asked the questions. You supplied the answers."
"I guess you're right," I said with a small laugh. "Maybe you should pay me for answering all your damn questions."
"You did quite well, and I'm confident that after you walk out of here today, you'll do fine. But like I told Andy, call me if you feel the need to."
"Thanks, Doc. My Saturdays aren't going to be the same after today. I remember how I really didn't want to come here. But you've been great. Thanks!"
I gave him a hug and then the two of us walked through the door to his outer office and then to the hallway. I turned to him as he stood in the door and gave him another hug. "Thanks, Doc. I think I might cry," I said as tears welled in my eyes.
"That's fine. Boys are allowed to cry, and so are men. Don't forget that."
"I won't. Thanks again, Doc," I said as I walked to the elevator, feeling like I'd just lost a good friend.
The next week, Colt was still going to Andy's locker, making sure he got there while Andy was still either naked or half naked. Thomas and I had talked about Colt's visits to Andy's locker a few times, but in the middle of that week, Thomas made a point of coming to my locker after he and I were both dressed. Colt, who was half naked, was over talking to Andy, who was completely naked.
Thomas had a helpless look on his face. "What are we going do?"
"We?" I asked.
"Yeah. You're Andy's best friend, and Colt's my boyfriend. We can't just let this keep going on."
I sat on the bench. "First of all, Andy is not my boyfriend. He's my friend, and I'm not sure I can tell him what to do. Second, Colt is going over to Andy's locker and not the other way around. Andy told me he wasn't going to flirt or flatter Colt anymore. So I don't know what the hell is going on. I told Andy to tell him to get lost, but he's afraid of hurting his feelings. You're going to have to do something."
Thomas shook his head and sat down at the bench across from me. "Every time I mention Andy, Colt gets pissed and says I'm just jealous. Which, of course, I am. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him."
I folded my hands between my legs. "You've watched them. Andy isn't encouraging him. Has Colt said anything about breaking up with you?"
"You may not want my opinion, but this is what I think you should do." I paused. "Let it go. You can't control Colt. You always have the option of telling him if he doesn't knock this shit off, you're going to break up with him. But hey, that's taking it to the extreme. Don't do anything. Support Colt on the basketball court and in your relationship. Jealousy can only ruin things."
"I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier. Plus, I still blame Andy. He started all this shit in the first place."
He had me there. Like Andy told me after his last session with Dr. Walker: "I got the ball rolling and can't stop it. Besides, it's getting bigger all the time." I didn't tell Thomas that.
"You're right. Andy has his faults, but he backed off." Then I added, "This is one reason I don't want a boyfriend. Too much drama."
He leaned down with his forearms on his thighs. "There hasn't been any drama in our relationship until now. Colt and I have been tight."
"I understand. But you don't own him. He may be your boyfriend, but he's your boyfriend because he's decided to be, not because you made him. He can just as easily decide not to be your boyfriend. You have the same option." I could just hear Dr. Walker saying, "Damn, Matt. You're almost as good as me."
Thomas was no dummy and when he agreed with me, I was only half surprised. "You're right, Matt. I'd like to say I'm not going to worry about it and just ignore it, but I'm not sure I can. But the ball is really in Colt's hands and not mine. Things are fine between us as long as I don't mention Andy, so I guess I'll just let it go. Hopefully, he'll just get tired of going over there and things will get back to normal. What bothers me the most is, he always goes over there half naked, and Andy's always looking him up and down."
"Hell, I do too. You have a hot boyfriend."
"I know, and I don't want to lose him."
"Because he's hot in bed or because of his good qualities?" Go Doctor Walker!
Thomas paused to think. "Both. You can't blame me for that."
"Which is most important? Him or the sex?"
Another pause. "What's with all the questions?"
"Just answer the question."
"Colt's a nice guy. He has a lot of good qualities."
I smiled. "There are a lot of nice guys in this world. I'm a nice guy."
"True. We. Well, we…"
"Shit, I don't know. I enjoy his company. He's a newbie, and I taught him everything I know."
I gave him a slow nod. "So it has more to do with sex than with his many fine qualities as a person. Your last statement says it all."
"Knock this shit off, Matt. I really don't care. He's my boyfriend, and I don't want some asshole like Andy coming along and taking him away."
"Don't get angry with me. I'm not involved. Andy backed off, and that's the best he can do. What happens from now on is between you and Colt. I'm not saying that Andy might not get tempted if Colt keeps it up, but there's nothing either of us can do. Just accept it."
Thomas stood. "I know you're right, Matt, but it's hard sitting back and watching Colt carrying on with Andy. I'm not sure what I'm going to do."
Riddle: I can start a war or end one. I can give you the strength of heroes or leave you powerless. I might be snared with a glance, but no force can compel me to stay. What am I? The answer is love. - Taken from the TV series, Gotham on 4-20-2015
If someone steals your man, there's no better revenge than letting them keep him. – Author Unknown
Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,
For those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay most dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there."
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
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