Knots, Book 2
by Elias Scott
Thomas and Randy
Thomas and Randy had planned a bout of sex that Sunday and had begged off on the basketball game. But, while they were fucking missionary style, Randy panted, "Maybe we should find Matt and Andy so they can join us."
Thomas quit moving his dick in and out of Randy's ass. "I thought we were going to wait until after we got through this coming week of school."
"Kinda, but why wait?"
Thomas pushed in again and paused. "Maybe you're right. You know how hot it was when the two of us were with Dillon. We could do the same with Matt and Andy. We'll go from a threesome to a foursome. That would be hot. I'm with you. Let's go for it."
The thought of it got Thomas rapidly slamming his cock in and out of Randy's ass while he kissed and tongued him. They rolled around in wild passion. They held on tight to each other and didn't let go of their tongue-lock or the lock Thomas' cock had on Randy's ass. Soon, they were both screaming as Randy's prostate began to pulse. It set Thomas' orgasm off, and they both came together.
"Shit, that was awesome," Randy gasped between breaths.
Thomas let out a breath. "Yeah, fucking awesome."
They laid naked on Thomas' bed and fell asleep. It was around two when they woke up, got dressed, and headed to the basketball court to play b-ball with Matt and Andy and see if they could seduce them.
Our Sunday started off pretty well. Matt and I brought a blanket to the park and played b-ball with our shirts off. I kept putting my hands all over Matt as if I was defending him. You know how they say absence makes the heart grow stronger, well right then I was thinking absence makes the cock grow hungrier. I know it had only been a little over twenty-four hours since we had sex, but hell, we'd been doing it two or three times a day and I wanted him right then and there. I wanted to throw him on the blanket, rip his shorts off, and doing crazy things to him. Just touching him made me hard.
He pushed me off him as he tried to do a lay-up. He made the basket and grabbed the rebound. "Winners' outs."
He noticed me looking him up and down. "Andy, quit raping me in your head."
"What makes you think I'd do such a thing?"
"I can see the way you're looking at me."
He held onto the ball. "You know there's a difference between love and lust, don't you?"
I grinned. "Can't a guy lust after the boy he loves?"
He shook his head. "Like I said the other day, 'you always have an angle' and now that I think about it you might be right, at least a little bit right."
I grabbed the ball out of his hands. "You're actually admitting that I might be right?"
"Yeah. Toss me the ball."
I held onto it. "What do you mean, a little bit right?"
He sat down on the court and the first thing I noticed was how flat his stomach was. He pointed at me. "Sit."
He gave me a quizzical look. "You know something, this might be the first time we've had a serious talk when it wasn't three in the morning."
Matt's eyes followed me as I sat.
I rubbed his leg, and he moved it. "What did you mean a little bit right?"
"You know how some guys look at girls and all they think about is sex? They'll say, 'boy would I like to fuck her.'" He paused as I nodded. "That's lust. It has nothing do with love."
"Since when have you become such an expert on love and lust?" I asked.
"Not an expert. This last week taught me a lot about lust and a lot about love. The asshole minister at our church is always talking about lust and I've ignored him. It all seems like bullshit to me. But after this week of fucking two or three times a day, I'm beginning to think I'm filled from head to toe with lust, and it scares me. I looked up the definition last night. 'It's an intense or unrestrained sexual craving.' I got that in spades. You do too. The craving pushes the love aside. Sex is becoming what I love. I've even begun thinking about fucking Thomas and Randy, and I hardly know them."
"No shit!" I yelled. Other people in the park looked over at us.
"No shit. But I don't love them. I want them. And like you said, 'wouldn't it be awesome to have one sucking you while the other fucks you, and you suck me? And the answer is yes. A big fucking YES. My love for you has turned to lust and it makes me feel like I'm being tortured to death because it's never enough. I miss the old friendship we had."
I shook my head. "Are you crazy? We can have both."
He looked down at the blacktop and then up at me. "I've loved you since we were kids. But now it's the sex I love. It's all I think about. Can that be a good thing?"
"Hell, Matt. We're fifteen. What do you expect? Do you think we'll be like this when we're seventy? We should enjoy it while we can."
He got up, spread the blanket out, laid down, and propped his head on his elbow. I faced him and did the same. Then he told me about some dumb dream he had.
"I dreamt I was climbing a hill. There was a rope around my chest like a harness, and behind me I was pulling a huge tangle of knots. The further up the hill I got, the slower I got, until I finally couldn't go anymore. It's like I'm trying to live my life, and I'm being held back because all I can think about is sex. I don't think about football or school or any of that. All I think about is sex. God I'm fucked up. Can that be good?"
I leaned on my hand and elbow. "Yeah, good for me."
I shook my head. "You know, Matt. you're full of shit. You think too much. There are all kinds of gay guys who function just like everyone else. Why should we be any different?"
"Don't you think there's a difference between gay guys in a committed relationship and gay guys who will fuck any guy that moves?"
It was like he punched me in the stomach. Hell, I was ready to fuck any hot guy that moved, and I'd forgotten about school and football and everything else when I was with Dillon and now Matt. I lusted after Thomas and Randy. But I loved it. Matt was so full of doubts. I didn't want to have doubts. What's the sense of being gay, if you can't just fuck whoever you want? But then the words from Matt's poem rang in my ear. Proceed with caution. And then I heard, Fuck caution!
"Matt, you need to get over this shit. Thomas and Randy are hot. Forget this lust crap and just enjoy the sex."
"Were you guys just talking about us?" Thomas asked as they approached us. "We thought we heard our names."
My heart jumped. "Yeah, we were saying how disappointed we were that you couldn't make it."
Randy grinned and nudged Thomas. "Well, we had some messing around to do, and while we were taking care of business we decided to finish up and come over and challenge you two in a game of b-ball. We wanted to see if these two freshmen can beat the sophomores. That's if you don't cheat, Andy."
Matt and I jumped up off the blanket. I gave Matt a quick look and he smiled. I grabbed the ball and threw it to Thomas. "I never cheat. We'll be skins and you can be shirts since we're already half-naked."
Thomas nudged Randy again. "We like what we see. How 'bout showing us the rest?"
My dick started to get hard. I looked around the park to see if anyone was looking, faced Thomas and Randy, pulled down the front of my shorts, and flashed my now hardening cock.
"Nice," Thomas said.
I moved in closer to Thomas. "I showed you mine. Now show me yours." Writing it here now, makes us sound like we were a couple of ten year olds.
He looked around for onlookers and flashed his beautiful cut dick. Matt's squirming and trying not to look, but I caught him glancing. "Are we going to play basketball or spend the afternoon comparing dicks?" Matt asked.
Randy yelled, "First outs."
They were all over Matt and me. They put their hands on our bare backs, slapped us in the ass, and one time I think Thomas or Randy tried to goose me. I was beginning to sweat in more ways than one and trying to play basketball with a noticeable boner. I looked at Matt and there was a slight bulge in his shorts too.
They scored a point and I yelled, "Conference." I pulled Matt to the side. "Do you think these guys want to play more than basketball?"
"Don't give me that I don't give a shit attitude. I'm game if they are. How 'bout you?"
He shrugged again. "Let's just play basketball. I'm swearing off sex for the week."
"If you say so. But you don't mind if I join them for a quick threesome do you?"
He gave me a pissed off look. "Whatever!"
I figured he could proceed with caution if he wanted, but I was going full speed ahead.
We beat the two freshmen. I grinned at them. "Losers pay. Come to my house and I'll tell you what the price is."
Thomas and Randy looked at each other. "Is it nasty?" Thomas asked.
"I'm not telling. You'll have to come over to find out."
Everyone looked at Matt. He grabbed his shirt. "I gotta get home."
Randy slipped his index finger in Matt's shorts to stop him and spoke in a semi sexy voice. "Are you sure you don't want to make us pay?"
Matt stopped and didn't move for a second or two. He stared at the three of us with a tortured look on his face. "No, I've gotta get home. You can pay me later."
I wasn't sure what that meant, and at the time, didn't care. All I knew was that Thomas and Randy were headed to my house and they didn't seem to care what kind of price they had to pay for losing. My dick was leaking pre-cum.
I didn't know what got into me. Andy and I were out playing basketball and I start talking about lust. Shit, I hate that damn pastor for putting those thoughts in my head. At the same time it put a name on what I've been feeling. I knew from listening to the pastor that lust was one of the seven deadly sins. Or at least I thought it was. But I don't exactly believe in sin, so it wasn't that I thought my lust was sinful. I've had a few years to think about this since that day and I decided that God is like a parent who says "don't do this or that because it will make you unhappy." At least that's the way I look at it. My lust for Andy, Thomas, and Randy was tormenting me because it felt like sex had possessed me. Like I've said before, I'm a control freak, and I felt my life was out of my control. Sex was controlling me. I wanted to love Andy not because of the sex but because of who he is. I wanted to love Gina for who she was, not for what she could do to satisfy my sexual urges. I didn't want to look at other boys, or for that matter, other girls as objects of my lust. And it was beginning to be like that.
Anyway, I was more confused than ever, and who should stop by while Andy's talking about Thomas and Randy, but Thomas and Randy. From what I could gather, they didn't come over earlier because they planned on spending the day fucking each other. There was something about the way they said it. And then Thomas talked about how hot we looked half-naked and how he'd like to see the rest of us. I almost shit my pants.
As usual, Andy steamed full speed ahead, pulled down his shorts, and showed Thomas and Randy his cock. He got Thomas to do the same. A picture of all of us getting naked and fucking right there on the basketball court shot through my mind. Yeah, it was lust, pure plain lust.
I had to get us focused on something other than sex before my cock was sticking out of my shorts begging for action. "Are we going to play basketball or spend the afternoon comparing dicks?" I asked.
That stopped them for the moment. Thomas took the ball out and the game was on. Thomas and Randy kept switching who was guarding whom. They had their hands all over my bare skin. It turned me on. A couple of times I felt a hand on my ass. My willpower was slackening because it seemed intentional. I knew they were only freshmen, but they were experienced freshmen, and it appeared they had their sights set on us.
Andy pulled me to the side so we were out of earshot. "I think these two want to do more than play basketball."
I thought the same thing, but told him I wasn't going to have sex for the rest of the week. Of course he said, "Okay, if you say so. But you don't mind if I join them in a quick threesome do you?"
I replied, "Whatever!" What else could I say? This unconditional love stuff was screwing with my head. I know I told Andy I'd love him no matter what, but I was beginning to have my doubts.
Thomas and Randy lost. I thought it was all over, but then Andy told them they had to come to his house and pay for their loss. They gave each other a knowing look and then looked at me. I wanted to go. My cock wanted to go. Like I said, I was full of lust for those two. I wondered if Dillon thought about them in the same way. I managed a weak, "I gotta get home".
That should have been the end of it, but that damn Randy grabbed my shorts with his finger and stopped me. He said in a sexy voice, "Are you sure you don't want to make us pay."
I thought oh fuck. It felt like I was being split in half. Randy's pulling on my shorts and I'm trying to walk away. The only reason I was able to leave was because I promised myself I wouldn't have sex for the rest of the week. Maybe it seems stupid for anyone who's reading this, but at the time, it seemed like something I had to do. I needed to proceed with caution. I'd like to say I was scared for Andy, but I think I was worried that by walking away, Andy would take off with those two hot freshmen to do who knows what, and they'd be doing it without me.
The three of us watched Matt walk off. He turned back twice with a sad look and then slowly moved out of the park with his head down. It almost made me want to cry. I looked over at Thomas and Randy. They both shrugged. Thomas pulled up his shirt and exposed his abs, ran his hand up and down them, and dropped his shirt. "Are you ready to take us to your house so we losers can take our punishment?"
I gave a quick glance at Matt's fading figure. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."
We jabbered away about the next day at school and steered clear of what might happen when we got to my house, but I know it was on all our minds. Of course, it was possible I misread the signs. But there was no misreading Matt. And then, just like that, bullshit about lust popped into my mind because I had lust in my heart for those two. I wanted hot sex. A threesome had to be hotter than anything either Matt and I, or Dillon and I ever did.
They accepted a drink when we got to my house. "Let's go out in the backyard," I said. They followed me out and we sat on the chaise lounges. Going directly to my bedroom seemed too obvious. And at the same time, the idea of it scared me. The picture of Matt walking out of the park with his head down cleverly snuck its way back into my mind.
Thomas and Randy took their shirts off. "It's hot," Randy commented.
"Yeah, it is," I muttered as I took mine off too.
Thomas scratched his head. "Where are your parents?"
"They're doing their Sunday shopping. Won't be back for a while. They usually stop to get a bite to eat before coming home."
Thomas got out of his seat, came over to me, bent down, and kissed and licked my nipples. "Thought maybe I should start paying you back right now." He slid his tongue down to the waistband of my shorts. "I saw your beautiful cock once today. Can I see it again?" he asked as he pulled my shorts down to my ankles. My dick popped up into his waiting mouth. Then he added, "Too bad Matt couldn't join us."
Suddenly, I felt paralyzed. I'd been dreaming about this for a week and now that their cocks and asses were here, I wasn't sure what to do. Well, I did, but wasn't sure if I should do it. So I didn't move as Thomas began licking and then sucking my cock. I moaned. Randy got up off his chaise, came over, and started kissing and tonguing me. He stopped kissing me, pulled his dick out, and stood so his cock was staring me in the face. Shit, I thought, as I took it in my mouth.
"Is this the kind of payback you had in mind?" Randy asked.
"Um Um," I said with a mouth full of cock.
Thomas came off my cock and licked his way down my thighs to my feet. He pulled my shoes and socks off and began massaging my feet, kissing them, and then sucking on my toes.
"Oh shit," I said.
Randy removed his cock from my mouth and kissed his way down my chest. He stopped long enough to run his tongue up and down the ripples in my abs. This whole time I'm moaning. I gasped when he covered my cock with his mouth. Those guys were obviously experienced. Dillon had taught them well. Shit, Dillon. That asshole. It was them and him and now it was them and me.
I heard myself say, "We can't do this."
Thomas looked up. "Do you mean shouldn't or can't? There's a difference, you know."
"Fuck if I know. If we're going to do this, we should do it with Matt. How 'bout this Friday after the game? You can all stay at my house." I hate to admit it, but I was just using Matt as an excuse. Well, kinda. Because for all I knew he'd beg off, go out with Gina or the other guys after the game. It was a gamble.
Thomas let go of my foot and Randy came off my dick with a smile on his face. "If you say so, but I'm too horny. Let's go to your room."
I hesitated, but soon had my shorts up and the three of us were heading to my room where they stripped, jumped on my bed, and began sucking each other in a sixty-nine.
"You're welcome to join us, or you can just watch if you want," Randy panted when he had a chance to get Thomas' cock out of his mouth. "Dillon loved to just sit back and watch us fuck. He sometimes shot video and we'd watch it later. It was fucking hot."
I sat on the chair at my desk. "I'll just watch. But thanks."
They were all over each other once they'd come off their sixty-nine. They licked and sucked each other's nipples, and licked each other's assholes, and then flip fucked as I watched. It was a hell of a lot better than watching porn on my computer.
I wanted to join them so badly, but I didn't. The picture of Matt walking off the basketball court kept flashing in my mind. And right then I knew how Matt felt as he walked off with his head down. It felt like I was being ripped apart. Do it. Don't do it. Do it. Don't do it, pulled at me. But for some reason I couldn't explain, I didn't join them, just watched, and jacked off until I came. Now I know what former President Clinton meant when he said, 'I didn't have sex with that woman.' Thomas and Randy may have sucked, licked, and tongued me, but I wasn't on the bed with them fucking my brains out.
It was then I realized that knowing Matt would love me no matter what, meant I could tell him exactly what happened, and know he'd still love me. All I could hope for was that he'd be less hurt because I didn't do more when I had the chance. Maybe all of that was slinking through my subconscious when I turned down the chance to fuck those two freshmen. I don't know. But, like I said, something held me back, and it surprised me.
Andy only lives a few houses down from me, and as I walked home and past his house, all I could do was picture the three of them naked in his room in every position and doing everything possible that three guys can do together. I knew Andy was going to be the aggressor. He talked about if often enough. He'd get them in his room and tell them to strip so they could pay him for losing. Then he'd strip and have each of them suck his cock. They seemed ready to do anything.
Then he'd lay on the bed and motion them to come over and lick him from top to bottom as he lay there enjoying their tongues before one started sucking his cock and the other put his cock in Andy's mouth. And that was only the beginning. Andy would roll his ass up so Thomas could rim him and Randy could come up from underneath and suck Andy's cock. I was getting hard and pissed just thinking about it. I pictured Andy fucking Randy while he sucked Thomas' cock. Then saw Andy fucking Thomas while sucking Randy's cock. They were rolling around on the bed, breathing hard, and the whole room smelled like sex. And here I was walking home.
I walked in the house and the first thing my mom asked was, "Is something wrong?"
"What makes you think something's wrong?"
"The look on your face."
I waved her off. "It's nothing. Thomas and Randy came by, we played some b-ball, and I decided to come home when we were done. I have to finish my schoolwork before tomorrow."
She smiled. "Good for you."
I got in my room and tried to study, but it was no use. I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling until I finally said dully, "fuck it". I put my shoes on and headed out the front door toward Andy's. Proceed with caution, I heard in my head. I slowed some, but then said, "fuck it," as I continued to walk toward Andy's. Proceed with caution came again. I turned back toward my house, stopped for a few seconds, turned back toward Andy's, and stopped again. "Shit," I yelled as I headed back to my house to find my mom standing in the doorway.
She stared at me pointedly. "It's obvious something's bothering you."
"No, I was just thinking maybe I'd go over Andy's for awhile."
"So why'd you come back?"
I bit my lip. "I need to get something out of my room."
I shot back defensively. "What's with the third degree?"
"I'm your mother. I can tell when something's bothering you." She paused. "So what did you came back to get?"
My mind went blank and my eyes rolled in my head, "I don't know. I forgot."
She motioned toward the dining room table. "Sit. Let's talk."
"Mom, leave it alone. I don't want to talk."
She sighed. "Good, then just sit there. That's an order."
I grumbled, sat at the table, folded my arms, and scowled. "Are you happy now?"
"Yes. Feel free to tell me what's going on as soon as you feel the inclination."
Talk about being a trapped animal. What I wanted to say was Andy, Thomas, and Randy are fucking their brains out while I'm here talking to my you. That's what's the matter.
Suddenly, for the first time in a week, I realized I was just plain unhappy. I hadn't been able to define it, but suddenly I knew. I realized Andy was unhappy too. I couldn't speak for Thomas or Randy, but despite all the sex we had, we weren't happy, and we should be. But the sex was never enough. Andy thought he was happy when he was with Dillon. He thought he was happy when he was with me. I began to see how Dillon's lust affected all of us. He was in jail, his parents, my parents, Andy's parents, and Thomas and Randy's parents were all affected. Not just the four boys. Andy often said that when the sex was over, he got an empty feeling, and all the time he's thinking there had to be more to it, so he'd go back repeatedly in search of what I'd now call an illusive happiness. It's an illusion. I thought I'd find it too, but it wasn't there. All I felt was confusion and doubt.
I wanted to tell my mother all of that. But I couldn't. I began to cry. That was the best I could do to get all those feelings and thoughts out. My mom came come over, stood behind me, put her arms over my shoulders so her hands rested on my chest, pulled me close, and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry you're hurting, Matt. I wish there was something I could do. Never forget, your dad and I will love you no matter what. So when you're ready to talk, we're ready to listen."
I looked up at her with red eyes and tried to break a smile. "Thanks mom. That means a lot."
Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carre
If, in the last few years, you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead. ~Gelett Burgess
It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it. ~Erika Harris
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