The Book of Aric
by Doc Sawzall
Arik and Ethan's Last Night Together
One of the rhythms of life on the farm are the early hours, early to get up and early to go to bed. Mind you there is much work to be done in those precious hours of wakefulness and sleep comes quickly for those who live that lifestyle. Many mornings I was up with or before the rooster announced the arrival of a brand-new day. It was ironic I thought that my day would begin with the crowing of the rooster and end with the hoots of the barn owls.
I had let Ethan know I wanted to take the next step in our relationship earlier in the summer. We had discussed it at some length and while he wasn't opposed we had decided to wait. We wanted this to be a special occasion and were thinking of going on a trip, just the two of us where we could take our time and not be interrupted. We felt the time we would spend on a vacation would help to deepen our relationship, relax the both of us and create the conditions conducive to our taking the next step. That was till Uncle Sam intervened and offered one of us a 'vacation' courtesy of an incompetent college admissions officer. It looked as if it wasn't to be for the two of us unless we decided to change our plans. We discussed our quandary over Ethan's last week before reporting. With the future, so unclear I wanted to do this before he left and Ethan was concerned more with the how and where's. After some back and forth we settled on his last night before leaving and I was adamant we do this in his room. It would give us the privacy we would need and the close proximity to the bathroom didn't hurt. I didn't know what to expect but if nature called at least it could be dealt with a minimum of disruption. I knew I had to be clean and was scheduling my bathroom needs for early evening.
The entire day was fraught with anticipation and unsettled nerves. Once again, I am not sure how I got through my chores but somehow, I did. I may have been physically present but mentally I was somewhere else. I wanted this and I wanted to do this, to be taken and to take one another. To me it represented the culmination of our love for each other, a giving completely of one's body and soul. The very act of joining, transcending what we had done with each other previously. Sure, we had given each other needed release and our pleasuring was incredibly enjoyable but I needed for us to that that next step. I needed to give myself to him as a final exhibition of my complete and total love for him.
Supper and the hours that followed that night remain an indistinct blur. I know I was there and I know I took part in conversation and watched some TV but I was on autopilot until it was time to retire for the night. Eddy had gone to bed before the two of us that evening and we sat once again in the kitchen with Ethan's parents. We made small talk for some time and watched them make their departure still hoping our façade was holding. We waited for a moment and discussed how we would stay in touch when he was gone, I scampered upstairs before Ethan so he could finish cleaning the kitchen. I would have to be quick about it so I could sneak into Ethan's room. I grabbed my nightshirt and went to the bathroom. Making sure I had evacuated what I had to, I brushed my teeth and slipped back towards Eddy's room. He was lightly sawing cordwood by the gentle sounds of his snoring. Walking quietly back towards Ethan's bedroom I could hear he was already in the shower. I walked into the bathroom and quietly announced my presence, quickly undressing and joining him. It was all the both of could do to keep things under control while we washed and soaped each other. I was standing with my back towards him as he washed my hair. We were pressed together and the slow gentle shampooing was erotic beyond belief. Moving from my head Ethan lathered the front and back of me with languorous deliberateness. I never thought a simple shower could so fully stimulate my erogenous zones and while there was no release per say, the rest of me was as sensitive as my penis. I simply was basking in the throes of an orgasmic body explosion of a different sort. Once rinsed and cleaned I returned the favor. I took the time and made sure there was no area unwashed or unloved as Ethan's body shuddered to my ministrations. It wasn't long before the hot water became warm water and warm water became cold water and we reluctantly made our way out of the shower. We toweled each other off and made our way towards Ethan's bedroom.
Once there I made sure to close the door securely as Ethan lit a candle on his nightstand. He turned the radio on so the songs would be playing softly in the background. I turned the light to the bedroom off so the bedroom was bathed in the warm glow of the candlelight. I dropped my towel and sat on the edge of the bed. I had felt like a kitten getting a bath, scared and nervous. Up till now it was my heart and emotions leading me down this path. They were showing me where the steps were and while I had reached this last step despite any doubts on my part, I had now arrived at the confluence of events where again I was no longer solely in control or could reasonably expect with any accuracy the final outcome.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be here but as I was entering unexplored territory my nerves seemed to increase in their fragility. With every breath and heartbeat, I was losing control. My hands and arms were tingly; my breathing seemed to flutter my legs were weak and useless. My insides were in turmoil as I was about to give myself to Ethan completely, enraptured at the thought that we soon would be joined as one. The radio is playing in the background…
Tonight you're mine, completely
You give your soul so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow
Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure
Can I believe the magic in your sights
And will you love me tomorrow
Tonight with words unspoken
You say that I'm the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning sun
I'd like to know if your love
Is a love I can be sure of
So tell me now and I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow
Will you still love me tomorrow
Will you still love me tomorrow
Ethan washes my fears away with a gentle kiss and the caress of his supple hands. With one arm at my back he lowered me to his bed and rolled me over. Reaching over to his nightstand he brought out a bottle of baby oil. Making sure I was comfortable he warmed the bottle over the candle. Returning to the bed he straddled my back and poured a small dollop on me. Placing the bottle back on the nightstand he rubbed his hands together briskly to warm them up. He placed his thumbs on my spine as his fingers splayed out towards my sides. If I thought the shower was the highlight I was very mistaken. It was just enough oil to smooth the glide of Ethan's hands as they worked every muscle group from my neck to my waist. Each arm was worked from fingers to elbows and elbows to shoulders to my shoulder blades, from there to my sides to the small of my back down to the base of my spine. As Ethan worked my upper body he lightly brushed my back with his bits and pieces. Feeling this part of him move up and down on me was incredible. He spun around and moved my legs apart so he could straddle them as needed. He poured a bit more oil on each leg as he massaged me. Once finished with my legs he turned his attention to my bum. More oil was poured across the top of each cheek with a bit running down the cleft of my ass. As each cheek was manipulated the oil would settle just a bit lower with each pass of his hands until finally it was covering the part of me that was the entrance to my soul. His fingers tugged and pulled till my anus was fully exposed. A finger would lightly dart across, teasing ever so slightly, sending shivers throughout my entire being. He was enticing my body and soul, the more he touched and probed the more I welcomed it. I felt myself completely relaxing, giving into his ministering hands.
Ethan's carefully turned me over on to my back fully exposing my front to his tender touch. He poured a bit more oil on my chest where the process started anew. With long slow deliberate strokes, he worked his way down my chest and sides to the concave surface of my stomach. Pressing further down to find the core of my emergent being, he gripped and smoothed my raging desire. I was nothing but a rag doll, his touch probed and I yielded. He oiled my nether regions and brought me to a firmness I thought not possible. Again, his fingers passed lightly over my entrance. He teased, probed and darted in and out ever so slightly. With each brushing glance and touch I became more aroused, the combination was more than could bear, I surrendered and gave myself to him, I was ready. He grabbed the pillow beside my head and placed it under my hips. Sliding further down the bed he brought his mouth to me. Rather than take me he brought his tongue to the space below my testicles. Bringing my legs up towards my chest he began to rim me. He licked and pushed his fingers against me till I was writhing on the bed begging him to take me. I wouldn't be fully satiated until he was deeply inside of me.
Rising up our eyes connected and we knew it was time. There wasn't any vocalization, our communication was nonverbal. With a quick adjustment, he placed himself against me and pressed inward. My body yielded as he gained entrance. There was a tightness as he met my innermost being, reluctantly not allowing further passage. Adjusting his knees for better purchase he would pull back, then push forward never going past my comfort zone. Gasping that I needed him to go further he leaned into me one more time. It hurt, oh dear god in all of his fucking glory did it hurt. My hands clasped the blanket so tightly I thought they would never unclench. With a final thrust, he entered me sliding past the reluctant doorway, slowly sliding deep until he had bottomed out in me. I could feel his balls resting against me as I was fully entered and opened to him. He rested inside of me, letting me get used to having him in me, allowing me to get used to the sensations. Slowly he pulled back and just as slowly he sank back into me. This was nothing like I would imagine it would be, the pain of feeling split open but I was determined to see it through. With each slow thrust and retreat I became less and less uncomfortable. Then as if a switch had been thrown, I relaxed and allowed this new incredible sensation to take over me. I could feel the length and breadth of him as easily as I could with my mouth. The contours of his being were transcribing his shape as if I was doing him orally. This was a new tactile sensation. I could feel his shape on the inward and outward movements. I could feel the head as it moved through me, if his penis pulsed I could feel it. I was touching him, yet I wasn't. This sensation was new, original and inexplicable. Our bodies were now moving as one as his pace quickened and his pleasure was mine. Panting, gasping or moaning, whatever you want to call it, we worked together. With each thrust inward I would rise up to meet him. He rode me across the bed until my head was hanging over the side. My body quivering as he slammed into me as we were losing ourselves in submission of the inevitable. Ethan emptied himself deep within me as I wrapped my arms around him. With his ejaculation finished all of the tension evaporated and he collapsed on top of me completely spent. We lay there content for a while; I never wanted him more than I did at that moment. Reluctantly Ethan pulled his softening member out of me and rolled over onto his back. I felt incomplete but took comfort that the best part of him was inside me. There was such a look of contentment on his face. His breathing had returned to normal while I ran my hand up and down his chest while lying on my side.
When it was my time, I raised myself up and got between his legs. I reciprocated the massage. When I was finished, I was rock hard and ready to explode. Ethan pulled his legs forward and I pushed and centered my weight behind my erection and felt his body give way to my eagerness. It was but a moment before I was all the way in, deep as I could be. I pulled back till I was nearly out and pushed back in and continued to repeat the process. It was more than my mind could take or I could describe, and much too soon, I was pumping my very being deep inside of him. I was disappointed I didn't last as long as Ethan but took comfort that our love was sealed. Looking back, it was the night I married my lover, my soul mate…the man I would spend the rest of my life with. We lay clinging to each other as the hardness evaporated from our souls. We kissed, we touched and we held on to each other as if eternity didn't exist. I could hear on the radio a song that spoke to me…
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue
When you're close to me, I can feel your heart beat
I can hear you breathing near my ear
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
Anytime you want to you can turn me onto
Anything you want to, anytime at all
When I kiss your lips, ooh I start to shiver
Can't control the quivering inside
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love, oh
When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do
Is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue
When I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter
My whole world could shatter, I don't care
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me got a groovy kind of love
We got a groovy kind of loveWe got a groovy kind of love, oh
We got a groovy kind of love
Unwelcome Changes at the Farm
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I mean I understood the reasons but it was another set of reminders of what was lost and how hopeless and powerless I was to do anything about it. Earl wasn't in the best of health. The heart attack took a lot out of him and Ethan's death was a devastating blow. Earl would never admit to it; his stoic nature wouldn't let him give in but he was going to need full time help in running the farm. After all, and I was not to know until Ethan came home, this was why Ethan was coming home on a compassionate discharge. He was going to manage the farm and take over for his father.
All of that changed after the news of Ethan's death. Earl was asking me to fix up the rooms at the front of the house into an apartment. He was figuring it would help to attract a suitable candidate if he could offer living quarters. Sure, it would be a modest space with a bathroom, small kitchen and a couple of bedrooms along with a living room. After all, with all the boys gone but Eddy, there was room to do this.
Earl had mentioned he had a couple of prospects such as it were and the person hired would be starting in a few weeks once the decision was made as to who to hire. We would all get to meet the candidates and no one would be hired unless we all were satisfied with them. It was small comfort but I buttoned my lips, my resentments overflowing. I promised myself that one day it would be mine. We cleaned, scrubbed, tore out walls made newer, wider entrances and papered and painted every possible surface. We extended the porch so it wrapped around the corner of the house and put a new doorway in as well. Surprisingly, it only took the best part of a week and a half. When we were done, it turned out pretty good. It was small, I mean two could fit comfortably in it and there would be room for a small child but not much more. We collected some furniture from the attic, barn and some of the other unused rooms. It took hours to scrub all of that clean and when we were done it was presentable, it was furnished but sparsely so.
Bitterly I knew whomever we hired would remain outsiders, interlopers who would never feel what Ethan and I felt about the farm. They might live here but they would never be from here, they would always be just transients. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull it off now that Ethan was gone, but I was going to find a way to run the farm. I was going to run it the way we had discussed it in the quiet conversations we had after our most intimate moments. I knew I had to buck up and suffer the presence of the interlopers, who were merely marking time, until I was done with high school and agricultural college. How I was going to afford to buy the farm was the least of my problems. I would make it clear I was going to follow in Earl's footsteps and that would have to be enough.
I had gotten up late that Saturday morning and a little surprised to find I was in my own bed until I remembered I was home to take care of my weekly chores. I had just come out of the bathroom and was heading into the kitchen when Mom asked me what I wanted for breakfast and this was a surprise. Normally I was left to my own devices and that was always a cold bowl of cereal, juice and toast. I asked for bacon and eggs with home fries instead. While I was waiting, I was reading the sports pages. Once again, the Red Sox were out of it and the Celtics were just getting going. In the background I could hear the sounds of the ambulance coming up from the town barn towards the center of town. I thought I heard the police cruiser as well. Mom and I both looked at each other as I walked over to the window over the kitchen sink and saw the both of them race up the old Hartford turnpike. Mom commented that she hoped it wasn't anything too serious. I nodded my head in agreement and tore into the rest of my breakfast. I needed to finish quickly if I was to get the Good Doctor's chores done so I could head up to the farm later that afternoon. As soon as I finished I placed my dishes in the sink after rinsing them off. I looked out the window I noticed the Good Doctor was getting into his car and heading in the same direction as the cruiser and the ambulance. When I commented about that to Mom, she mentioned that one of the Benoit girls was pregnant with twins and about due. It had been a difficult pregnancy and she had been having trouble the last couple of weeks. I grunted my acknowledgement and headed back to my room to get dressed. As I was dressing I figured the Good Doctor would leave instructions and as such I would most likely have an easy morning.
As I was leaving the house Dad was coming back from the barber shop. He patted me on the head reminding me I also needed to see the barber soon as well. I told him I would go next Saturday and to please leave money on the table for me. As I left the house I could hear the phone ring as I crossed the street, I paid it no attention as it wouldn't be for me. I went to the shed and got the Good Doctors lawnmower out and was checking the oil and gas. Once I was satisfied I started it up and proceeded to mow the lawn. I didn't notice Dad had come up to me until he tapped me on the back. His face was an ashen shade of grey. Once the mower was off he said
"You need to put that away now. Mrs. Tompkins called. There's some sort of trouble at the farm and you are needed up there right away." As I was putting the mower away all I could think of was that Earl had had another heart attack. He had been pushing himself lately and suddenly I was very afraid. We raced across the street and got into Dad's car and to my surprise Mom was coming with us.
The ride up to the farm was very quiet; the look of concern on our faces said it all. Dad was speeding, I was stunned. I had never seen him do anything like this before. As we got to the top of the hill and turned down the drive I saw that all of Earl's son's cars were in the driveway along with the police cruiser and ambulance. As soon as Dad put the car in park, I jumped out and raced up on to the porch and flew through the door and parted the sea of bodies. Off to the side I saw an empty wheel chair and Mrs. Tompkins bent over someone whose back was turned to me. It had to have been Earl; his heart must have finally given out. Standing next to her were her sons and all of them with dumbfounded shit eating grins on their faces. I went closer to see what the commotion was all about and who was sitting next to Earl when I saw….
A runaway freight train just blindsided me and all I could manage to say as I grabbed my head was, "WHAT THE FUCK, YOUR'E …" then everything went black as I collapsed on the floor.
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