Everything Will Turn Out Alright
I seem to spend way too much of my time lately waiting. Waiting for Vicky, waiting to go to school and get my ass kicked, waiting to find out why I'm at school and not getting my ass kicked, waiting to be murdered in an ugly bathroom, waiting to see if my paranoid imaginings are coming true and now I'm waiting to get Vicky back to my room and do sexy things to him. Or maybe I'm waiting for him to do sexy things to me. I haven't decided yet. Either way with all the waiting I've been doing lately you think I'd be used to it by now right?
I may be a lot of things, chief among them right now being INCREDIBLY FUCKING AROUSED TO THE POINT OF EXPLODING, but patient isn't one of them. And with the way my leg was bouncing up and down I wasn't exactly keeping that a secret. But neither was Vicky. He was squirming around in his seat and his hand, which was still gripped in mine, was clenching and unclenching.
God that was sexy.
What? You don't think someone can be incredibly hot when they're squirming around? If so you obviously haven't seen Vicky doing it. Which is a good thing because I'd hate to have to go Chev Chelios on your ass for staring at my Vicky.
The way his hips moved as he squirmed were giving me some pretty interesting ideas about what I wanted to do when we finally got back to my house and I felt little Nate starting to come to life. If he could move around like that while sitting in my lap......
"Ok, I can't take the silence, can one of you boys please tell me what happened today?" my mom cut into my thoughts. Well, if there's any surer way to kill a growing erection than to be reminded that your mom is less than two feet away from you I've got no idea what it could be. Vicky's hand clamped down on mine as he jumped slightly in his seat. I guess I'm not the only one that forgot about my mom.
"Well?" she asked while giving us a penetrating stare in the rear view mirror. Well, actually her stare was focused solely on me. Totally not the kind of penetration I'd had in mind a few seconds ago and, wow, I never want to think about my mom and the word 'penetration' in the same thought ever again.
Vicky's eyes joined my mom in looking at me. His gaze wasn't penetrating, even though any kind of Vicky penetration would be so totally welcome, it was more expectant. Like he was waiting to see what I had to say. I had a brief moment of panic when I just KNEW he knew that I was keeping something from him and he was waiting for me to let it slip but I quickly realized that he was just waiting for me to answer because he didn't want to. Or maybe it was because my mom singled me out even though the question was addressed to both of us. Either way the spotlight was once again on me but this time I had some idea of what to say. I didn't wanna seem like I was caving in too quick though. If you let your parents think that you'll just answer questions when they ask without putting up some kind of resistance they'll just end up walking all over you.
Feel free to quote me on that.
"Nothing really." I said evasively.
My mom sighed. "Do I need to pull over until you tell me the truth?"
Goddammit. How does she always know exactly what to say to wrap me around her evil little finger? It's not like either of us were exactly being stealthy about our desire to get back home but still.....Oh shit. Could she know WHY we wanted to get home so badly? I know she knows that we're, uh, sexually active but it's one thing to know that she knows either after the fact or in a general sense and a completely different thing for her to know BEFOREHAND while she's DRIVING us there.
"No, no you just keep driving." I said sort of nervously. "I, uh, need to go to the bathroom...."
I regretted that the second it was out of my mouth. I don't think that could have sounded more like a lame cover up if I tried. If she didn't know, or at least suspect, she sure as hell does now. The little knowing smirk I saw on her face in the mirror didn't exactly make me feel any better.
"Well, I wouldn't want you to burst all over the car." she said mischievously. "So, tell me about what happened today and you can get home and get your much needed relief, kay?" I could have sworn I saw her eyes literally twinkle and I was pretty damn sure she wasn't talking about going to the bathroom.
Sometimes I hate my life.
After shooting her what I hoped was a sufficiently hate filled glare I started to explain about what happened today. Well, a heavily edited version at least. I told her about the strange reactions we got in the halls and the locker room, my theories about that, finding out what really happened during lunch which in turn led into an explanation of what happened during our date (leaving out Vicky's frustratingly hot teasing) and I even told her about the fangirls wanting us to kiss. I left out the part where we actually did kiss though. I also left out our make out/feel up session in the bathroom, anything about the brown haired kid and anything about Skip beyond what happened at the movies. She seemed to think she got the whole story since she started right in with her comments instead of trying to pry more information out of me with deceptively subtle questions.
"You should probably try and keep away from that....Skip was it?" my mom said with an eye roll. "Please tell me that isn't his real name."
"No. His name's Robin." I answered with a small smirk.
"Robin? Well that's a....hang on, his name is Robin Williams?" she asked with a smirk of her own and a raised eyebrow. God, can everyone do that but me?
I giggled. "Yep."
My mom let out a short laugh. "Well, I guess I can see why he'd have a nickname then." Her tone turned serious. "Anyway you should probably stay away from him. He sounds like the type of guy that would blame you for what happened to him and try to get revenge."
Oh, mom, you have no idea. Kinda wish I could tell you how your skinny weakling son beat the shit out of the toughest kid in school though. Yeah, I may be exaggerating just a bit. You got a problem with that? Of course, as much as I wanted to tell her, that wouldn't be happening, you know, ever.
"Alright, mom." I said. And then because I don't usually agree with my mom so simply and easily and I didn't want to make her at all suspicious I added "I wasn't planning on locking myself in a closet with him anyway."
Vicky giggled at that.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing. I'm just picturing big bad Skip Williams going into a closet with you and then coming out a few minutes later all flustered while you walk out looking all satisfied and smug." He giggled again.
"You have a weird sense of humor." I said and rolled my eyes. I was proved right even before I spoke because my mom laughed at Vicky's little mental image.
Yeah, very weird sense of humor.
I'm not sure where things would have gone from there, judging from past experiences probably not anyplace good, but I'm totally rocking the good timing today because just then we pulled onto my street and, seconds after, into my driveway.
"Thanks mom! Bye!" I said as I got out, no, jumped, no, FLED from the car. I didn't even bother reaching for Vicky's hand or waiting for him to grab mine. We were both heading for the same place at the same speed. Neither of us needed to be dragged.
I think my mom said bye. She said something anyway. It might have been "doggies eat applesauce to save the ozone layer" for all I cared, all that mattered to me was that she wasn't following us and that I was literally seconds away from getting Vicky alone behind two locked doors.
Vicky and I reached the door at the same time. I turned the handle and pushed.
Damn. Well, I had a key so this would only be a few second delay. I fished around in my pockets but it wasn't there. That shouldn't have surprised me too much. As tight as these pants were if I had a piece of paper in the pockets it would have been digging into my skin all day and causing me excruciating pain. Besides I always kept my key in my bookbag. Hey, don't give me that look, I'm, you know, excited. Things slip your mind when you're excited. I reached down to get the key from my bag when I realized that my bag wasn't on the ground. Or on my back. Or anywhere near me for that matter. Oh. It was still in the car wasn't it?
See? I was right about excitement. Don't you feel stupid for doubting me?
I gave Vicky a sheepish look. "Uh, the key's in my bag....back in the car."
He groaned with frustration. "Then go get it!" He frowned and looked around in confusion. "And, um, can you bring mine back with you?" He shot me an embarrassed smile and looked at me through the few strands of hair that had fallen across his eyes. Just when I think I've seen every adorable look or gesture he has he comes right out with another one. My heart fluttered.
Whether that was from the look or the fact that all the blood in my body was currently being sucked into a painfully engorged part of my anatomy I couldn't say.
I ran back to the car at full speed. My mom hadn't pulled away so she must have noticed our bags didn't follow us on our mad dash for sexual satisfaction. "Forget something?" she asked with a smirk when I opened the door.
"Don't. Say. Anything." I growled as I gathered up our bags. I'm so not in the mood for her right now.
"What wrong honey?" my mom asked with mock concern before her face lit up like she'd just remembered something. "Ohhhh, I forgot you needed to use the bathroom." Another smirk. "Well, you better get a move on kiddo. It isn't healthy to hold it in for too long."
I tried, and failed, to suppress a groan. God, it's bad enough that she can't even pretend she doesn't know what we're gonna do but does she have to make terrible jokes too? For a few seconds I wished I was one of those lucky gay kids. You know, the ones that get disowned by their family when they come out.
I tried, and failed, (notice a pattern here?) to back out of the car quickly while holding both of our bags without doing something embarrassing. Like falling down. Which I did. Which caused my mom to laugh and my ass to hurt. And not in a good way.
I picked myself up, struggled to lift both of our bags into my shoulders (which by the way is seriously hard. The amount of books the torturers disguised as teachers make just one kid carry home each night is beyond ridiculous and trying to carry two such bags is kinda like trying to win a boxing match with Optimus Prime while drunk) and, having done that, waddled unbalanced back to the front door of my house with the sound of my moms laughter following me the entire way.
At least Vicky had the common courtesy to cover his mouth to try and hide his laughter. Not well, mind you, but the effort was appreciated.
I finally made it to the door and as I was fishing the key out of my bag my mom drove away. I didn't even have to look back to know that she was giving me the same smirk she'd had on her face in the car.
Vicky's suppressed laughter died as I slid the key into the lock and opened the door. As the door swung open I suddenly knew exactly how Frodo felt when he finally got to Mount Doom. I'd been walking towards this door on and off all day and now I was finally at the end of my long journey. Of course, my journey was gonna end with more physical pleasure and less fingers getting bitten off.
I picked up both of our bags again and walked through the doorway before letting them fall heavily to the floor. I heard the door click shut and turned around to see Vicky with his back against the door grinning at me with his wicked little grin.
All thoughts of, well, anything that wasn't soft lips and a sexy body fled my mind as Vicky and I moved towards each other and met in a desperate kiss. Ohhhh yeah. This was what I needed. And from the almost frantic way Vicky's lips were moving against mine I could tell it was what he needed too.
The world beyond me and Vicky ceased to exist. It was as if all there was in all of existence was me and Vicky kissing in unending blackness. And for the first time that bothered me. I wanted there to be people and buildings and streets. I wanted to be kissing Vicky in the middle of a crowded room or a busy street instead of behind a locked door. I wanted everybody in the world to see what I had and to be insanely jealous that the most perfect boy in the world was mine.
But more than even that, I wanted Vicky naked. Now.
I pulled back from our furious kiss and suddenly the world existed again. Vicky's mouth followed mine after I broke our kiss until he realized I was actually pulling away from him and he opened his eyes, cocked his head and gave me a questioning look.
"Bedroom." I said with a smile.
Vicky answered with a grin and we took off towards the stairs hand in hand.
I don't know who lead who this time and really I didn't care. It didn't matter who was in the lead. If Vicky lead I'd follow him and if I lead Vicky would follow me. All that mattered at the end of the day was that we ended up in the same place, together.
Kinda deep, huh?
We barely got the door to my room closed before we were once again kissing. It didn't have the same furious need as our earlier kiss but this time we were more focused. We had goals. My goal was getting Vicky's shirt off and if that sounds easy then you've never had your hands touching his bare torso. Which, again, is a good thing because I'd hate to have to kill you. My hands slid under his shirt and I immediately got lost in the sleek lines of his stomach and back. His smoothness drew me in and I forgot about the (what the hell was that thing called again? Oh yeah) shirt completely as I ran my fingers over the slight rise of his boyish definition.
Vicky's goal was getting my pants off and he was having just as much trouble with that as I was with his shirt, but for completely different reasons.
"Grrr, too tight." he growled into my lips.
I reluctantly removed one of my hands from his body and tried to help him push them down.
Damn. They were tight. And my erection wasn't exactly helping.
I wiggled my hips and we both pushed down on my pants but the fucking things barely moved. Note to self: No matter how sexy they look NEVER WEAR JEANS AGAIN. In fact, from now on all I was gonna wear were sweatpants. Easy on, easy off. That didn't exactly help me now though.
"Dammit they won't move!" I shouted in frustration.
"Here, move your hand."
"No, I got it."
"Wait, just let me-"
"No, I'm just gonna pull on the sides-"
"That's not working."
"It will though, just let go."
"No, wait, let me just unzip you."
"I AM unzipped!"
"No you're not."
"Yeah I am. The zippers very small. Look."
"Oh, yeah. I guess you're right." he giggled. "How do you pee out of that tiny hole?"
"With great difficulty." I said flatly.
More giggles. "Ok, well, let's try again."
"Ok let's-OW! What did you do that for?!"
"What?! What did I do?"
"You caught my dick in the zipper! Ow! Ow! Owww!"
"I didn't! I just....oh damn I guess I did. I'm really sorry Nate."
"Ow. It's...ow. It's ok. I forgive you.....ow."
"Stop being a pussy."
"Hey! You injured me!"
"I barely pinched you. It stopped hurting before I apologized, you're just being a girl about it."
"We'll see who's the girl when I get these damn pants off!"
Vicky giggled and flashed a lecherous grin. "Then what the hell are we waiting for?"
"Dammit, they're stuck." I said pouting after another minute of trying to get my jeans down.
"How did you even get these on?" Vicky asked as he glared at my pants.
"It was actually-"
"Actually," he cut me off. "The better question is how the hell did you get them off in gym?"
That actually was a pretty good question. "Um, well I didn't have a boner in gym."
"I really wanna say something about you not being that big but that would be a lie." he said with a grin.
"Hey!" I exclaimed before what he said fully registered. "Oh, that was a compliment. Thanks." I smiled as my ego, among other things, swelled up even more.
"I got an idea." Vicky said.
"Lay back on the bed."
"I'm liking where this is going but what about the pants?"
"This is about the pants." he said with a slight eye roll. "We can ravage each other later."
"Oooh ravage huh? I like that word." I said as I lay back on the bed and thrust my hips at him suggestively.
"And you call me a tease." he grumbled.
Before I had a chance to come back with what would have been an incredibly witty and innuendo filled remark (I'm not really sure just what that remark would have been but, trust me, it would have blown him away) he grabbed the bottoms of my pant legs, braced his right foot against the bottom of the bed and PULLED as hard as he could.
"It's not working." I said helpfully.
"Shut up." he growled, sounding legitimately angry this time. "These fucking things are coming off if I need to cut you out of them." He looked up at me with a thoughtful look in his eyes. "Where do you keep your scissors?"
"No!" I glared at him. "You are not cutting up my clothes."
"It was just a thought." he said sullenly.
I sighed. "This is ridiculous. I got out of these before and I should be able to do it again." I thought for a second. "Ok, let's try this. You pull on the bottom and I'll push from the top, ok?"
"Ok, why not?" Vicky shrugged and adjusted his grip to get a better hold.
"Ok, one, two, three!" I shouted.
At first nothing happened but slowly I started to feel my pants sliding down over my hips. I laughed gleefully and started to push harder and wiggle my hips as I pushed. Finally, after an epic 40 second battle, my pants slid over my hips and Vicky pulled them off me violently.
"Yes!" he yelled in victory as he held my pants high above his head like it was the Stanley Cup. (Or another sports related trophy if hockey isn't your thing) He grinned wildly and started to twirl them around his head.
I giggled. "Victory!" I yelled.
Still twirling them, Vicky let my pants go and they flew into the corner of my room. I lay there smiling up at him and suddenly realized that I was only a small pair of boxer briefs away from being completely bottomless in front of Vicky. During the struggle to get the pants off I'd almost forgotten why I wanted the damn things off in the first place and as I looked into those soulful gray eyes the excitement of actually getting rid of the pants turned into a completely different kind of excitement.
"Come here." I said as huskily as I could manage.
Vicky's victory grin turned into a more sultry look as he lowered himself to his hands and knees and crawled catlike up my body. Our eyes were locked the entire time and when his chest reached my stomach he lowered himself just enough so that he brushed lightly against my torso. I shuddered. It was like being touched by a live wire and being struck by lightning at the same time.
Had it really been only a day since we last did this?
As soon as his face was hovering above mine he wasted no time at all in pushing his lips to mine. I opened my mouth and eagerly accepted his probing tongue. Screw sensuality, I needed sex! I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me roughly. He let out a short whimper and for a second I thought maybe I'd pulled him in too hard but when he pressed his lips to mine more forcefully I knew it was a whimper of enjoyment.
So I'm the girl, huh? Ha!
I gave him a tight squeeze before running my hands down his back and slipping them under his shirt. No matter how many times it happens skin on skin contact with Vicky was nothing short of pure bliss. He was soft. He was beautiful. He was perfect.
He was mine.
My hands didn't linger this time. I needed him desperately so there was no time to waste on feeling up his sleek body. I pulled his shirt up and we broke the kiss just long enough for me to slip it over his head. His lips were back on mine before I even had a chance to throw the shirt away. I thought about what I wanted to do to him.
My mom was going to be gone for at least another two hours so we had a lot of time to be together. Right now all the sexual frustration of the last few minutes, not to mention the entire day, was too much and I NEEDED to get off. I'll start off by getting rid of these boxers and the rest of Vicky's clothes, then I'm gonna roll him over so I'm on top -no- I'll turn him on his stomach, he likes that position and I'm not exactly against it either. We can make love and gaze into each others eyes later on right now I needed to get inside him and fu-
*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*
-uking hell! Goddamn phone!
Vicky moaned into my mouth. Sadly it was a moan of frustration, not pleasure, and that annoyed me even more. He started to pull away but I held him close. "It's my line. Jason's the only one with the number. We'll ignore him." I said quickly and wasted no time getting my tongue back in his mouth.
The phone stopped ringing and I felt a smug satisfaction swelling in my chest. Good. The prick KNEW Vicky was coming back to my house after school and I'm pretty sure he was calling just to fuck with us and ruin our sexy time. Well, we showed him. We barely even stopped and now we could get back to the business at hand.
As I was thinking before I'm totally gonna take Vicky from behind to start. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I rolled over so I was on top of him and started undoing his button. He had his usual cargo shorts on so I was able to slip the button out of the hole with only two fingers, a move that I'm pretty damn proud of if I do say so myself. I unzipped him and reached in to squeeze his cock. He moaned, this time in pleasure, and shuddered. I could feel the wetness on the outside of his boxers and suddenly a mental image of Vicky's naked hardness with precum oozing out of the tip flashed into my mind. Ok, so, maybe getting him on his stomach could wait, I had a sudden craving for sweet sweet Vicky nectar. After I pleasured him with my mouth he'd be more relaxed anyway and that meant he'd be a bit looser so I wouldn't have to spend as much time getting him ready which was good because I was getting just a bit too fr-
*Ring Ring* *Ring Ring*
-ustrated with this fucking phone!
Vicky slumped down under me and I let out an angry growl. Our kiss broke and Vicky looked at me with eyes that held the same frustrated annoyance that I was feeling. GHAAA!
"Just answer it." Vicky said dejectedly.
"No! I don't-" I started.
"He's just gonna keep calling. Or worse, stop by. He does live down the street after all."
Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT! I let out another growl as I got off of Vicky's (sexy, eager, ready, sleek, amazing, perfect) body and stalked over to the cordless phone, white hot rage burning inside me. I grabbed the phone and violently pushed the talk button.
"What the FUCK do you want!?" I screamed.
"Ohmigod are you ok!?" came a very familiar, but totally unexpected, screech.
"Michelle?! What the hell?" This was one of those few occasions where my total and complete confusion didn't completely suppress my anger. In any other situation I'd be so perplexed as to how she, of all people, got my INCREDIBLY PRIVATE phone number but right now I was just too pissed off that I was being kept from a half naked Vicky. "Why the fuck are you c-"
"I totally heard what happened with Skip today! Are you ok? Did he, like.....you know?" she asked and I hear the wince in her voice.
No, no no! Dammit this is the LAST fucking thing I want to hear! I'm supposed to be blocking out everything about today except for the beautiful, horny boy laying in my bed. This is so not something that I want to talk about right now.
Speaking of the beautiful, horny boy I glanced over at him and noticed that he was laying on his side with his head propped up on his hand giving me an eyebrow cocked, "what's up" look. I shook my head briefly and turned around to face my wall. As much as I wanted to SCREAM at Michelle I needed to watch what I said so he wouldn't ask me any questions after I got off the phone. I know! I know! I really hated keeping this from him and I swear I'm gonna tell him eventually but right now I just wanted us to have a carefree, sex filled afternoon where we didn't have to think about or deal with anything that was complicated or stressful or confusing but in no way at all regret. I really needed it and if that meant being selfish for the first time in our relationship then that's what I was gonna do. Ok, well, second time if you count the way I emotionally blackmailed him into going on our date but that was really as much for him as it was for me so I don't count it.
With those thoughts in my head I calmed myself down as much as I could before answering her.
"I'm fine." I said quietly but through gritted teeth. "We can talk later but right now Vicky's here and I'm very BUSY." I tried to put as much meaning into that last word as I could in the hope that her fangirl mind would put it together.
"Oh....OH! But..." she trailed off and I wondered if her concern for me was having a little war with her insane attraction to gay affection. If it was then it didn't take long to find out which side won. "Oh. My. God. Did I....were you...." she gasped. "You were gonna screw and I interrupted! Ohmigod! I'm sorry. But you're ok right? I mean he didn't....well of course he didn't or you wouldn't be about to......but you're ok?" A draw. Figures.
"Yes. I'm fine. And YES, we were and YES you did." I knew I'd probably end up regretting saying that later, visions of being cornered by a group of drooling girls and being forced to recite in detail everything we did this afternoon flashed through my mind, but it was the quickest way I could think of to get her off the phone.
"I'm sorry. I'm....sorry. Are you sur-"
"Yes! Goodbye!" I hug up and tossed the phone down in the general direction of the stand. I started to turn around but thought better of it, walked towards the phone stand and disconnected the cord from the back. I turned around holding the cord with a grin on my face.
"There. No more interruptions." I dropped it and walked back over to the bed. Vicky smiled up at me as I repeated his earlier crawl up the bed. He let himself fall back and ran his hands up my back and under my shirt as I reached his eye level.
"What did she want?" Vicky asked.
Shit. I was going to have to lie again and I HATED that. I'd been doing way too many underhanded things to Vicky today and having to do another one had the guilt coming back full force. Not exactly the best feeling to have right before sex. I tried my hardest to find something to say that wouldn't be a lie but also wouldn't be the truth but all I could come up with was "Who cares?" I said it with my best seductive grin.
It worked. But it didn't make me feel much better. I promised myself again that I'd tell him everything before he left tonight.
If avoiding the question, and the need to lie, didn't put me back in the mood Vicky's lips touching mine and Vicky's hands roaming sensually over my skin sure as hell did. The sexual desire came back almost stronger than before and I moaned into Vicky's mouth as I pushed my crotch into his. One of his legs wrapped around my hips as he pushed back.
Our kissing started to get more passionate as my hands moved over his chest, down past his boyish abs and reached through his still open fly to grab his erection through his boxers. The wet spot had grown considerably and I wondered briefly if he even got the least bit soft while I was on the phone.
Somehow I doubted it.
I still needed him in my mouth and feeling his dampness intensified that need about a million times. I literally started to SALIVATE at the thought of having his cock in my mouth.
I can't say I broke the kiss. It was more like the kiss evolved into something that no longer needed another set of lips to be complete. It could use a soft cheek.....or a smooth neck....or a twitching shoulder.....or a flat chest.....or a hard nipple.....or a quivering stomach.....or tense hips. By the time I'd kissed my way down to the place I needed to be Vicky's entire body was squirming with anticipation. I didn't even have to look up to know that his back was arched, his head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. He got that way every time I filled him with lust and I loved it.
As badly as I wanted him in my mouth NOW I knew that he'd enjoy it more if I teased him a bit first. Vicky loved it when I made him wait, he says the anticipation is almost better than the orgasm. I didn't quite agree but at least it explained why he was such a tease all the time.
I stopped kissing his slender hips and lightly dragged my tongue across his waist where the band of his boxers met his skin. He let out a whimper as I moved my tongue over his nylon covered cock. It twitched and that was all I could take.
I've teased him enough. I needed to get him in my mouth. I needed to feel him in my throat. I needed to he-
-ar ANYTHING but the FUCKING doorbell!
Vicky's tense body slumped dejectedly onto the bed, again, as he let out a loud growl of frustration, again. Apparently there were limits to how long he was willing to be denied and he'd reached them. I, however, had not only reached my limits I'd flown past them and into the territory of "If This Isn't Jesus Fucking Christ Standing On My Doorstep Telling Me I'm The First Stop On His Second Coming Tour I'm Going To Stab Whoever It Is In The Goddamn Throat With The First Blunt Object I Can Find"!
Who am I kidding? If it was Jesus I'd probably stab him too.
With a frustrated growl of my own I lept off the bed and charged down the stairs. Whoever the hell this was was gonna be in for one sorry fucking afternoon. They just rang the WRONG goddamn doorbell. Hope they like blunt throat stabbings!
Yeah, maybe in some part of my mind I realized I might have been just a tad, you know, insane but there's only so much sexual frustration one 13 year old boy can take, you know?
I reached the door in like 10 seconds flat and tore the fucker open only to come face to face with an incredibly worried looking Jason. I barely had time to register just who it was at the door, let alone time to find any blunt objects, before his arms were around me and he was giving me one of the tightest, yet gentlest, hugs I've ever received in my life.
"Oh my God, dude, are you ok?" he said breathlessly. "I-" He froze.
It was at this point that both me and Jason realized a few things.
The first thing was that he was hugging me. While this was unusual, we'd never really been the 'touchy-feely' kind of best friends, it alone probably wouldn't have been enough to derail whatever freak out he was currently on. That's where the second and third realizations come in. As Jason was hugging me I was wearing nothing but a T-shirt and a very tight, very thin pair of boxer-briefs and I still had a very obvious erection.
An erection that was pressed into Jason's lap.
"D-dude?" he asked shakily. "Is that....?"
I nodded into his chest.
Slowly, so very slowly, Jason let go of me and we both took two steps, two very slow steps, away from each other.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed nervously at him. I don't even think I need to say that the sheer levels of awkwardness in the room completely drained the anger out of me and the absolute LAST thing on my mind was sticking another blunt object anywhere near Jason. The one, small, tiny, infinitesimal part of my brain that wasn't wishing it was ANYWHERE FUCKING ELSE still needed to know why he was here however.
It took him a few seconds before he was able to speak. "I-I heard about Skip trying to molest you in the bathroom, I wanted to make sure you were ok...." he trailed off and looked behind me and to my right. He looked back to me, then back behind me and when his eyes fell on me again they widened in surprise and understanding. "Oh shit." he squeaked.
I looked behind me and saw Vicky standing on the stairs, shirtless, pants unzipped and hair all disheveled, with eyes wide and mouth in total shock.
Oh shit indeed.
"Um....you're obviously...ok....so I'm gonna just....leave." Jason managed to get out while doing whatever he could to avoid looking directly at me or Vicky. He turned to leave and almost walked into the edge of the still open door. He awkwardly spun out of the way, let out an embarrassed warble of a laugh then said "uh, bye" before leaving and closing the door behind him.
I barely noticed any of that.
All my attention was focused on Vicky.
He stared at me with that same expression of open mouthed shock but his eyes held a kind of frantic terror and obviously weren't focused on anything that was in front of him. I wonder if that's the same look I have when I'm thinking of a thousand horrible scenarios at once? I knew that's what he was doing. We're enough alike that I knew all it would take is to hear the words "Skip", "molest" and "you" for his mind to start supplying him with the worst possible meanings of those words. We're also different enough so that I didn't quite know what his reaction after the images stopped would be. If it were me I'd grab him in a hug, make sure he was ok and then promptly get myself sent to jail for 20 years for the much deserved, yet for some reason still illegal, murder of Skip Williams.
Like I've said, I might have an anger problem.
Vicky didn't have any such problem though so I didn't know what he'd do. Which seems to be a theme for me lately.
The other part of this is the fact that I lied to Vicky more than once about this. Ok, so yeah maybe it wasn't a full on lie, more like omitting a few things and deflecting a question or two, but that didn't matter. Any lie, no matter how small or innocent, still shows a level of distrust in the person you're lying to. You either don't trust that they can deal with it or that they'll keep it a secret or that it won't change how they think of you or that they won't use it against you or any number or other reasons. The thing is I DO trust Vicky. I trust him with all my heart. I was planning on telling him! You know that, I said it more than once!
I just wanted to have sex first.
Ok that sounds bad. But it's the truth. Sort of. I didn't want the inevitable conversation about Skip and what happened and what that's gonna mean to interrupt a stress relieving afternoon of love that we both needed. It doesn't matter though. I still lied and even though I do trust Vicky it SHOWED distrust that, real or not, was gonna hurt him.
I'm such a SCREW UP!
N-nate?" Vicky asked tentatively. I was pulled out of my own less than happy thoughts by his cracking, worried voice.
"I'm ok." I answered quickly. I would have said more, probably, but Vicky jumped off the stairs and flew towards me, wrapping his arms around my neck and squeezing me even tighter than Jason had but was somehow even more gentle. I gotta learn how to do that.
He let me go after almost a full five minutes of hugging. I hugged him back but I couldn't enjoy it or even summon up a few words of comfort. I was too busy worrying about what would happen when the hug ended. Finally, yet all too soon, he pulled back and looked into my eyes.
"Nate, did...." he closed his eyes and swallowed. "What happened?"
I took a deep breath. "Nothing." Stop lying Nate! "Well, not nothing, but not what you think." I took exactly three seconds to HATE Jason for showing up when he did before I went back to hating myself. "After lunch I went to the bathroom and Skip was in there. He came after me and I kicked him in the balls and then these two other guys came in and I kinda said some stuff that made it seem like Skip tried to, like, do stuff with me and then left." I looked away from him.
It seemed like years but Vicky was silent for only a minute. That whole time I was sick with dread about what he'd say. He'd know I lied to him and the relief he'd feel about me being ok wouldn't be enough to stop him from feeling the hurt and betrayal of that. I'd deserve anything he said to me but when he finally spoke he didn't say anything that I had been expecting.
"Why?" he asked as his arms fell back to his sides. I looked back into his eyes and instead of anger or hurt I only saw confusion.
"Why what?" I asked back, equally confused.
"Why did you pretend that he tried to molest you?"
Well, this I wasn't prepared for. Again, a theme. I took a few seconds to put my thoughts in order, or as close to order as my thoughts can get, so I could explain it to him. "Well, one of the guys that walked in was Anthony....or was it Aaron?.....from the lacrosse team. The one that's dating Penny Kendricks....but you don't know her." Nervous giggle. "She's even more of a gossip whore than Michelle so I figured he'd tell her than she'd tell everyone and all the girls would get their boyfriends or guy friends to beat the crap out of Skip and he'd leave us alone." There, that was a pretty decent summary. I think.
Vicky just cocked his head. "Nate...." he started to look worried again. "That doesn't make any sense. He's just gonna come after you more now. He might even actually try to....you know..." he bit his lip nervously.
No, no this isn't how this is supposed to go! He's supposed to be mad at me for lying not worrying about me. I don't deserve this! I need to make him unworried so he can yell at me. "No, that's not gonna happen. He won't be able to come near me." He started to open his mouth to protest but I cut him off. "Look, just trust me ok? Please. I know this is gonna work." I know, I'm asking him to trust me when I'm the liar. I'm such a shithead.
"But what if it doesn't Nate?" Vicky was starting to get frantic now. "What if he fights off anyone that tries anything with him? What if all this does is gets you beat up, or worse!"
"Well then at least it's not happening to you!" I shouted. "All I could think about when I was standing there over Skip was what would have happened if it was you there instead of me and what would happen next time if it was you instead of me. I needed to do SOMETHING Vicky! I couldn't take it if something happened to you."
"And you think I can?!" he screamed suddenly. "Jesus Christ Nate! You think I wanna sit back and be 'protected' while you bring everything down on yourself? You think I wanna just watch as you get beat up or start fights in the middle of class or charge at a group of harmless girls!?" My jaw dropped. "Yeah Nate, I saw you running that day and I saw the expression on your face. The only reason I answered their questions was so that they'd get loud and hopefully say something that would keep you from doing something stupid."
This....was not going the way I thought it would. "Vi-"
"No, LISTEN to me. Do you have any idea how terrified I was that you were gonna beat up a bunch of girls? You get ARRESTED for that, Nate! You could get sent to JAIL, Nate! And why? Because they MIGHT have been making fun of me?" He shook his head angrily. "I can take it, Nate. I've had to deal with a lot worse than a few insults in my life. I don't NEED you to ruin your life over me."
"It would be worth it! I'd do anything to spare you a SECOND of pain!" Now I was getting angry. How the hell could he not get that? Who cares if I get suspended, beat up or even arrested? As long as he's ok nothing matters!
"And you think knowing that I was the reason you fucked up your life is gonna NOT cause me pain? That it's gonna make me HAPPY!?" He was right in my face now yelling at me. "If you can't think about yourself then think about me. Did you think I wanted to sit in school alone all day worrying about you because you got suspended for punching Shawn? Did you think I wanted to sit at home worrying about what's going to happen to you because you got arrested for beating up girls? Did you think I wanted to go home tonight and get NO SLEEP because I have to worry about whether or not Skip decides to KILL you tomorrow? All because of ME?" He was crying now, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You can't do stuff like this Nate, not because of me." he sobbed.
I barely even noticed my own tears. I wanted to find an argument, something that would show him that it wouldn't be HIS fault if anything bad happened to me, that I'd gladly go through ANYTHING if it meant he'd come out of it alright. That he was wrong about all this, that he was-
"How would you feel?" he said softly. "How would you feel if something happened to me because of you?"
Anything I might have said flew out of my head at his words. It wouldn't make any difference. He was right. Just thinking about anything bad happening to Vicky totally broke my heart. For the first time I put myself in his shoes during every situation where I risked myself in some way to keep him from harm and suddenly I didn't hate myself so much for the lying anymore. I hate a much better reason to hate myself. How long had he been keeping this inside? How could he just pretend it didn't bother him, didn't hurt him, and act like everything was fine? Heh. I guess I really don't even need to ask do I?
And he was right. It hurts.
"You're doing it too." I said quietly.
He sniffled and looked into my eyes again. "What?"
"You kept this all inside you for a while didn't you? You didn't say anything because you knew telling me that I was hurting you would hurt me." I swallowed a sob and forced myself not to look away. "You were right. And I'm sorry."
Vicky blinked the tears out of his eyes and let out a humorless laugh. "Heh, God, I didn't even realize I was doing it too." He sniffled again and then leaned in and put his head on my shoulder. My arms went around him without conscious thought. "I'm sorry too. For holding it in and for yelling at you. I just....please promise me you won't do it again?"
I wanted to make that promise so badly, I wanted to give him what he needed, but I couldn't. I couldn't just stand by and let bad things happen to him. "Vicky, I can't just not do anything. I-"
"I'm not saying that." he cut me off. "You can stand up for me, just stand with me instead of in front of me, ok? We can do it together."
My earlier thoughts about leading and following came back to me and before I knew it I was smiling. He was right, again, he didn't need a protector and neither did I. We both needed a supporter and I promised myself right then that I'd always be that for Vicky. Now I had to promise him. "Ok, that I can do." I squeezed him. "I promise that I'll always stand by you." I kissed the side of his head.
Somewhere deep inside of me it felt like a small switch had been flicked. In a tiny corner of my mind, a place where there had always been just a bit of tension, a bit of worry and fear, a bit of paranoia, a place that always took over whenever something threatened Vicky and caused me to act without thinking, I felt a calmness settle in until that part of me was indistinguishable from the rest of my mind. It was something that I never even realized was there until it was gone and I knew that the next time anything happened or was about to happen to my Vicky I wouldn't leap in front of him and go crazy trying to protect him. I'd just walk up and stand beside him so we could face whatever it was together.
"You know," Vicky said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Even when we screw up we do it together." He had put his arms around me and we stood there holding each other. Not for support or comfort but because we just wanted to.
I giggled. "Yeah, but at least this double screw up lead to something good."
"Yeah..." Vicky said thoughtfully. "Everything we do leads to something good. It's kinda freaky when you think about it."
"Yeah." I echoed his thoughtful tone. I thought about everything that had happened to me since I met Vicky. All the improbable events and unlikely outcomes, all the unexpected good luck and the way that even the most hopeless situations always seemed to work out for us in the end. No matter what happened to us when it was over it was always me and Vicky standing tall above it, together.
It was several minutes before either of us spoke again.
"I don't really believe in God, or fate, or anything like that but after meeting you I can see why people do. It almost seems impossible that someone so perfect for me can not only exist but be here in my arms by accident." Vicky said.
"I know. But in the end it doesn't matter WHY we're together. All that matters is that we're together. And that we always will be." I hugged him tighter.
"Yeah." he hugged me back just as tight. "I know."
We spent several more minutes in silence just soaking up the feeling of holding and being held. I was so wrapped up in the moment that Vicky's soft breath on the side of my neck didn't even get me horny. Suddenly it seemed like there was too much seriousness in the room. Not in a bad, oppressive way though. More like it was something that had served it's purpose and was being left out too long, like a Christmas tree still up two weeks after New Years. Almost as if on cue Vicky's stomach decided that this was the moment to gurgle loudly, thus successfully breaking the mood.
We both giggled.
"Hungry?" I asked
"Not at all. What gave you that idea?" Vicky asked innocently just as his stomach made another, louder, gurgle.
I giggled again. "Nothing. Just wondering. I was gonna get a snack and I thought I'd offer but since you're not hungry...."
Vicky nodded. "Oh, ok. Yeah, I'm good. Go get your snack though." He let me go and started to wander aimlessly around the area by the door.
He's very cute when he's being.......whatever the hell he's being now. I decided to go with it and went into the kitchen. While I was looking through the cabinets Vicky wandered into the kitchen looking for all the world like he was just aimlessly walking around looking at random things in my house. I finally decided on Lucky Charms (the best cereal EVER) and got out a bowl. As I was pouring the cereal Vicky walked up behind me and peered over my shoulder.
"So, Lucky Charms huh?" he asked sounding only mildly curious.
"Yup." I answered. I closed up the box.
"Not really a big fan. I'm a Golden Grahams guy." he said as he stepped to my side.
I just rolled my eyes and put the cereal away. I turned back to see Vicky picking the marshmallows out of my bowl and popping them into his mouth.
"Hey!" I said indignantly. "I thought you weren't hungry?"
"I'm not" He popped another one into his mouth.
"And I thought you didn't like Lucky Charms?"
"I don't." Another one goes in.
"So you just like stealing my food?"
"Yep." He grinned took my bowl and walked out of the room.
Too. Damn. Cute.
But also just a bit annoying. I didn't really want a snack until I saw that we had Lucky Charms and now I was kinda hungry. With a small sigh I got another bowl, took the box back out of the cabinet and poured myself some cereal. I didn't even bother putting it away this time. Hey, I'd tried being all 'neat' and 'orderly' once and I just had to take everything out again anyway so, fuck it. My mom can put it away.
I walked into the TV room to see Vicky sitting on the couch shoveling the Lucky Charms into his mouth as fast as he could chew them. He looked up as I walked in and shot me a grin with his cheeks full of cereal. He looked like a sexy little shirtless chipmunk. I sighed. So hot.
I sat down next to him, my shoulder touching his, and we ate in a comfortable silence. He finished before me and started taking small pinches of cereal from my bowl. I didn't mind since he seemed to be going out of his way to leave me all the marshmallows.
If there's a better definition of love I haven't heard it yet.
We finished our snack fairly quickly and put both bowls on the coffee table. I rested my head on his bare shoulder and when his arm came up and held me around mine I let out a sigh of contentment. We sat like that for a while, my cheek resting on his bare skin, my hair spread out in a curtain across his chest, his arm holding me close. For once I didn't think about anything. I didn't obsess over the future or worry about the past, I didn't try to figure out what Vicky was thinking, getting sexy never even crossed my mind. I was happy just sitting there with my eyes closed listening to Vicky breathing, which soon became listening to me and Vicky breathing because we synced our breaths perfectly without even realizing we were doing it.
We must have stayed that way for at least an hour because the next thing I knew the fading sunlight was shining right in my face. The front of our house faced west and we had a large picture window in the TV room so it was always flooded with light when the sun set. I'd never been one of those people that gets all 'ohhh' and 'ahhh' over the sun setting. It happens every day and it looks more or less the same so I never saw the big appeal. Sitting there with Vicky, though, and looking at the pinks and reds and oranges while he held me made sunset seem like the second most beautiful thing in the world.
The most beautiful thing in the world rested his head on mine and we watched the sun set together.
As the sun neared the horizon I broke the silence. "Are we ok?" I whispered. I knew the answer, I just needed to hear it from him.
"Yes." he whispered. "Aren't we?" And I knew he needed to hear it too.
He lightly kissed the top of my head and we didn't say anything else.
Almost at the same time we both moved to lay down on the couch. Vicky laid with his back pressed up against the back of the couch and I laid with my back pressed up against Vicky. He, of course, had his arms wrapped around me.
We stayed like that watching the sun for only a few minutes before I felt him start to lightly kiss the back of my head. He was so soft and gentle with his kisses that at first I thought they were just tiny breaths from his exhalations. Once I heard the soft smack of his lips I knew what they were and shivered slightly. I sighed and pushed back against him gently.
Suddenly the second most beautiful thing in the world wasn't doing it for me anymore. I turned to face the most beautiful and just stared into his eyes. Funny, our picture window is panoramic and frames the setting sun perfectly yet that view looks like a grainy, old time photograph compared to seeing it reflected in Vicky's eyes.
Vicky smiled at me. I smiled back. We kissed. Just once. A quick kiss. He tasted......ok, I'm gonna say it but you've gotta promise me you won't EVER bring it up again, ok? And never tell anyone that I actually said it, ok? Promise? Ok, I'm holding you to that. Here we go....
He tasted magically delicious.
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