Discovering the Unknown
Chapter 6
By Angel Love
Sunday at work was not much better than the day before. At least Rob was a little more talkative, and I could tell he was trying to be pleasant. That trying to be pleasant crap was what was driving me up the wall. By the time we finished work I decided he had only befriended me because I offer to help him find a job. After that someone of my caliber would be of little good to a god. I mean, what could I expect? By the end of the first week at school he had the most beautiful girls there lapping at his heals, and the hottest of the hot 'in guys' following him around like he had them on a leash.
When we returned the truck to the lot after work I never waited for Rob. While he took the keys and work tick to the drop box I unchained by bike and rode off. I never looked back and I never heard him call my name.
That night I lie in my bed and felt like I was being crushed. I wanted to cry but it would not come out. I stared at the ceiling and tried to visualize Rob's face but all I could see in my mind was a faceless outline of a god with a shining light behind him.
I walked down the hallway to my locker hoping Rob would not be there but I could not be that fortunate. He stood beside our lockers and smiled as I approached, I tried not to make eye contact with him.
"Well here comes the little deserter."
The hallway was full of kids and I did not want to make a scene so I just reached for the lock on my locker and began entering the combination.
"So now you are not speaking to me?"
"Rob, please all I ever wanted was to be your friend."
His deep baritone voice filled the hallway with a loud throaty laugh that echoed in my ears and caused everyone close by to turned and look at us. I was so startled by his outburst I stumbled back to lean against the wall. When I looked at his face it was as though I had never knew him. His features were contoured out of shape by the hideous laugh and his eyes seemed to be looking right through me.
Rob reached out and drew one of the cute guys to him and hugged him tight to his side.
"Did you hear that? The little redneck sissy just wants to be my friend. Ain't that a hoot?"
They both than burst out in laughter and were soon followed by everyone in the hallway, many who I thought were my true friends. I was so embarrassed I slid down the wall to set on the floor with my knees drawn up to hide my face and my hands over my ears trying to stop the roar of my laughing schoolmates who had encircled me.
"Jamie! Jamie! Wake up Honey!"
My eyes flew open at the calling of my name. Confusion flooded my mind, everything in my room looked like something I had never saw before.
"Jamie Honey, its Mom. You're only having a dream."
The fog and bewilderment slowly drifted away and I realized I was drenched in sweet and I was trembling uncontrollably. Mom pulled me close to her breast and hugged me tight.
"Oh Jamie it will be alright. I have never known of you having a dream like this before."
I still could not speak, I just clung to my Mother and now the tears flowed freely. I have no idea how long we sat their in the middle of my bed and Mom gently rocking me back and forth and sliding her fingers through my bangs to keep the hair out of my wet eyes. She spoke softly with a reassuring voice but her words never entered my conscious mind. The only thing I could concentrate on was the still lingering vision of Rob and all my friends having a good laugh at my expense. But, the real pain came from the image of Rob and his hurtful treatment of me.
"Son, you have got to let me help you with whatever your problem is."
Mom forced me to lean my head back fare enough so she could look directly into my eyes. I think I knew that I needed someone to fill my empty brain with some wisdom, but it just could not be Mom. There was just no way that I could tell her all my secrets. What the hell is so great about being gay when you have to keep it hidden like you are infected with a plague? I wanted to tell Mom, I really did, but I decided I already had enough problems why add to them?
"Jamie," I could tell from the firmness of her voice I would probably have to tell her the truth, or outright lie to her for the first time. "Jamie, I know you want to work through this by yourself, but I think the time has come for you to let me in on your problem."
"Mom… I really don't know what to tell you. I can't even tell myself what the problem is."
And that was the real truth. Why could I not control my emotions about something like this? I really felt stupid because I felt that most people would get a big laugh out of the way I was letting something like this get to me. There is just no damn thing as love at first sight! But I was having trouble making myself believe that. So I like Rob, so I was infatuated with him, so I thought he was the most beautiful boy I had ever saw, so he gave me a cold sweat when he came near. So what? He was really a perfect stranger. Come on Jamie and get your head straight or you are going to fuck up everything with your Mom, and most important with Steve. When I was with Steve, or just thought of him, I felt the pangs of love. But I always told myself that could not be after all we were just best friend I was sure, well almost sure, that had to be what I was feeling for him. Just best friends.
"Son, I just do not buy that. Now tell me who, or what, has you so unnerved."
I thought about crying again but quickly shelved that idea. It was time I grew up and faced my problems like the man I thought I was. My only problem was I still did not know just what my problem was. Was it Rob? Was it me? Was it Steve?
"OK Mom… I'll try… I just don't know how this is going to sound to you."
We were both startled by the sudden tapping on my window. Mom slipped off my bed and pulled my drapes open just a crack, "Steven!"
She threw the drapes open wide and raised the window, "Steven what on earth are you doing outside Jamie's window at this hour?"
"Hi Mrs. Rusher, I couldn't sleep… something kept telling me my best bud was hurting again, and… well I just had to come and check on him."
The most adorable smile I ever saw spread across Steve's face, and inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief thinking I had just received a pardon from a full confession to my Mother.
"May I come in?"
Mom smiled and stepped back from the window giving Steve room to crawl through. When Steve straightened up Mom tasseled his hair with just the tips of her fingers, "I must admit something to you guys I am a little jealous of your friendship. All my life I never had a friend who cared for me, or I for them, the way you two do about each other. It must be great to have that kind of friendship."
Steve blushed brightly as he sat down beside me on my bed and patted my bare leg. I had the bed sheet pulled close around my middle to hide my nudity. "Yes Ma'am, Jamie here is sort of a special Dude. He does need a lot of looking after."
I punched him playfully in the side while he and Mom both got a good chuckle at my expense.
"Seriously though Steven," Mom asked, "does your parents know you are over here at this hour?"
Steve downed his head and stared at his feet, "No Ma'am."
"Steven." Mom's voice carried a scolding tone. "Steven, you know you can get in serious trouble by being here late without special permission."
There was something strange about this conversation. It was as though I was on the outside looking in. I knew Steve's parents were strict and did not allow him much freedom, but I never gave it much though not to the extent Mom seemed too. Even as small children our playtime had been closely supervised, but I just though that was his parent's way of doing things.
"Mom, why would Steve need special permission to visit me late?"
I noticed Mom and Steve exchange a quick glance at each other.
"You really don't remember do you?" Steve asked softly as he squeezed my leg tenderly.
"I have no idea what you are talking about Bud."
Mom came over and sat down beside me her arm came around me and gave me a firm squeeze. I looked at Mom and big tears were streaming down her face.
"Mom… what?"
"It was a long time ago," she sobbed a little before she continued. "Just two days after we found out you Father was killed. Steven's parents had invited you over to spend a night thinking it would help if you to spend some time with your best friend."
"I guess I tried to help too much." Steve spoke so softly I could hardly tell what he had said.
"Now Steven, we have talked about that before. You did not do anything wrong, you were just being young inquisitive boys." Mom then patted the back of Steve's hand where it still rested on my leg.
"So what happened?"
"Well… " Mom started to speak but Steve cut her off.
"Let me tell this part… please. After we had been in bed a while Mom came in to check on us."
Steve paused and I could see a tear in the corner of his eye. It suddenly dawned on me that the only time I had ever saw Steve cry was on the afternoon he had told me he was gay and that he was afraid.
"Well… I had talked you into getting naked, you were laying on your stomach and I was on top of you rubbing my… well just rubbing against your back side."
His hand suddenly gripped my leg so tight it hurt. I quickly moved my hand on top of his so he would release some of his grip. I felt him shudder as he remembered.
"Mom turned into something I had never saw before. She started screaming at us using every filthy name she could think of for what she thought we were doing. Then Dad was suddenly there and he started in where Mom had left off. He… he… grabbed me by the hair and jerked me off you and literally threw me across the room to Mom. He told her to 'Take care of your fucken Son while I take care of this other little bastard.'
"Oh! Oh… my god!"
I gasped in horror it was suddenly all there, all back, as vivid as the night it had happened. I pulled back across my bed so I was sitting with my back in the very corner against the wall. Gone was my concern about being naked, I drew my legs up tight against my chest hugged them tightly against myself with my arms. What I was seeing in my minds eyes caused me to shiver with fright. Mom and Steve quickly were once more next to me trying their best to give me some comfort.
Mom spoke softly, "The doctors told me years ago it was not unusual for a young child to completely block a traumatic experience from their conscious mind. And with you it was almost certain to happen what with losing your father and receiving such abuse all within forty-eight hours. They advised that I wait until the time was right, or you ask, to talk about it. I guess tonight is that time."
Steve pulled the bed sheet around me and hugged me tight. I began to sob as I remembered the way Steve's father had beat me that night with a belt, the way he had hurt me so much. I remembered the red stinging welts and the streams of blood trickling down my legs. I remembered the screams of both Steve and me. I remembered the way Steve was being beaten by his mother and the way his body look all red and his little butt so bloody where her fingernails had dug deep with each punishing blow. When the beatings finally stopped I was thrown out into the hallway and Steve was locked in his room still crying and screaming, but his parents seemed as though they were unconcerned about his physical injuries. I remembered being half dragged naked from their house across the street and physically thrown in our front door. I remembered Steve's father telling Mom to 'take your perverted fucken kid and keep him away from Steven!'
When I got my emotions somewhat under control I had to have answers to some questions. My voice was shaky and I barely spoke above a whisper.
"Mom… Mom I just don't understand wouldn't… wouldn't they go to jail for what they did to Steve and me?"
Mom stroked the side of my face to wipe away the tears. "Yes Son, and they almost did."
"Almost?"
"First I took you to the emergency room all I could think of was getting you help. The doctor told me I had to call the police. So… so I did… " Mom shuddered hard.
Steve reached across me and took Mom's hand and held it tenderly, "It's alright Mrs. Rusher you did what was best for all of us."
I could tell the decision to get the police involved must have been a heart wrenching one for Mom. A few tears trickled down her cheeks before she continued.
"To make a long story short, I did call the police and the first thing they wanted me to do was press charges against Steven's parents. I told them I needed to think about that over night. It wasn't that I was not mad at them, I was furious; I just did not want to do anything that would harm Steven farther."
I put my arms around Steven and hugged him tight. Now I knew where all those small white scars on my legs and butt had came from.
Mom took a deep breath then continued. "The next morning when I brought you home from the hospital the police were at Steven's home. I took you inside and hurried across the street to find out what was happening. Just as I walked up two women were driving away with Steven in their car. A detective told me Steven had been taken into protective child custody and he was on his way to the hospital to be treated for his injuries."
"Mom, I don't understand how is it possible… how could I have so completely block something like that from my mind?"
Mom hugged me again. "All the doctors could ever tell me was the mind is so complicated and it sometimes reacts in just that manner to protect itself."
Still clinging to Steve I searched deeply into his eyes. "How… how did you get back with your parents?"
"I had to live with my grandparents for almost four months before the court would let me come home."
Mom than picked up the story again. "That was after your mental condition did not improve. You seldom spoke and you refused to sleep alone. And when you did speak it was only to ask for Steven. Your doctor recommended that I do whatever I could to try and get you and Steven back together again. So I agreed that I would drop all charges against the Mitchells. But before I did I made them agree that they would never keep the two of you from seeing each other. I did give in some and agree that there would be no sleepovers and that when you were together it would be supervised. When Steven entered middle school was when they imposed the strict curfew on him. I felt that was their right to set that standard so I did not say anything."
I pulled Steve close and kissed him on the neck. "Steve… I am so sorry. I don't know what to say."
"Why are you sorry? There was nothing that happened that was your fault."
"I mean about all these years and not remembering. I should have been there for you, for comfort, to help you through the tough times I know you must have journeyed through."
"Truly Jamie, it was more comfort to me knowing you didn't remember any of that night."
"I just thought of something, that night last summer, when we still lived in the trailer and you stayed until almost midnight what happened when you got home."
I could see in his eyes he did not want to answer. "Oh, not much."
"Steve I didn't see you for several days, did something happen?"
"Well… Mom and Dad were out of town that day. First time they had ever went off and left me home alone. I thought everything would be fine, but they called home to check on me and I wasn't there."
"So… ?"
"Jamie it's really not important."
"Steve… "
"You didn't see me for a few day because it took that long for the bruises to fade."
Again just a couple of tears briefly appeared in the corner of his eyes.
"Steven!" Mom's voice suddenly became shrill. "You never told we about that I could have done something."
"Please Mrs. Rusher I didn't want to make more trouble then, or now. Please don't say anything to Mom or Dad."
"Well… I don't know."
"Please, it has been several months now and everything has been cool. Please."
"OK, but if they ever lay a hand on you again I want to know immediately, understood. After all that was part of our agreement that they would never use physical punishment again."
Mom then turned her attention back to me. "Is there more you want to know Son."
My brain did feel like it had just been placed in an egg better, and I was still confused about many things I had just remembered, but I felt like I had received all the new revelations I could handle for one night.
"Not right now Mom." I still had my arms around Steve and my head resting on his shoulder. Without realizing it at the time I nuzzled his neck again, Mom did not seem to notice or it did not bother her. "I know there will be many question, I just need some time right now."
"We still have not discussed what has been troubling you."
"I think I will be fine know. It was just those dreams I didn't understand." The lie was out before I realized I had even spoken it.
Mom nodded her head slightly, and I could tell she was not quite sure if she believed me or not. "Now Steven, about you, you have got to get home. And I want to know if there is any problems."
"Yes Ma'am."
I reluctantly let him go as he stood to his feet.
"Wait," I said. I flung the sheet back and hurried to my dresser. I slipped on a pair of cotton shorts and stepped into my sandals. "I'm going with you."
"Jamie I don't think that would be a good idea."
"Yes it is Mom. I've let Steve face this problem all these years alone from now on I will be at his side. Besides this way we will know if there is a problem."
"Well, I suppose."
I was out my window while Mother was still speaking.
"Boys, you know you could use the front door."
Steve chuckled, "Yeah, but this is kind of fun and romantic, don't you think."
"Romantic?" The expression on Mom's face was more than questioning.
Steve fumbled for some reply, "Yeah, you know… like in the movies. A little clandestine, you know, sneaking out looking for trouble."
"O, you two! Don't be long Jamie."
"K Mom."
As soon as we moved away from the window Steve took my hand and squeezed it tightly, then as soon as we were in the shadows away from the streetlights I was in his arms and he was kissing me passionately.
"God… I have wanted to do that soooo bad for the last half hour." Then he kissed me again.
"K Dude, out with it what was really eating at you tonight?"
We resumed our walk toward Steve's house and I eagerly told him everything about the last two day at work, the way Rob had been acting, and about the dream I had tonight.
"OK this is where your Feel Good Guy comes in. I am going to take charge now."
I chuckle a little as I let my hip bump against his. "K Feel Good Guy, just what you going to take charge of?"
"You and Rob what else?"
"And what you going to do?"
"Just leave that little detail up to me."
"Steve… "
He hushed me with the tip of his finger and pointed at his house. I had been so engrossed with our conversation, and our little jesters of love, I had not realized we had stopped in front of Steve's house. Holding my hand he eased up on the porch and peered through the living room window. Satisfied there was no one moving about in the house he turned back and kissed me quickly on the lips.
"Now you scoot on home and leave things in your Bud's hands."
"Do you have to go in right now?" And then I kissed him.
"Yes I do… " Kiss!
"Why… ?" Kiss!
"You're standing there almost naked and you ask me that… ?" Kiss!
"Now go on scoot! I'm so hard now I won't be able to get through my window!" Quick Kiss!
He pecked me again then hurried around the side to his bedroom window. I stood at the corner of the house until he disappeared inside. Still not trusting that his parents had not discovered his absence I sat on the steps of the porch for another half hour just to make sure trouble did not start.
Sitting there the pieces of the puzzle slowly began to come together. I was in love with Steve and I had been for as long as I could remember. Now that I remembered consciously that horrible night I understood why I had always forced myself to think of Steve only as my best friend.
I was still hard as a rock after our sweet good-night kisses. I eased my cock out the leg opening of my cotton shorts and began to slowly tickle the underside of the head with my forefinger. Memories of our years together flooded my mind and I began to work the foreskin of my dick slowly back and forth. I smiled as I remembered some of our times together that before I had only viewed as experiences of best friends. Now I understood what Steve was really feeling and how he was forced to control and hide those feelings. The smile faded from my face as I thought about how much he must have suffered over the years. But, then I realized I could now change all of that for him he did not have to bear the problem of his parents alone, and if he wanted to tell me he loved me he was now free to do that.
The thought of hearing Steve say 'I love you' was all I needed, I pulled faster on my cock and flooded my hand with hot sweet cum. I breathed hard as I came down from my orgasm on Steve's front steps. Slowly I stood to my feet letting the last of my cum dribble to the ground. The smile once more returned to my face as I walked across the dark street licking my fingers clean. Yes, Steve was now free to share his true feeling with me.
Back home I filled Mom in on all the details, well almost all, then she hurried me off to bed. "School tomorrow, now try and get some sleep. Gosh! It's almost two o-clock."
I lay in bed trying to sort thing out. For the first time in more than a week I finally felt things were beginning to take a turn for the best. Now all I had to do was convince Steve that I really could forget Rob as a lover and just see him as a friend.
Authors deserve your feedback. It's the only payment they get. If you go to the top of the page you will find the author's name. Click that and you can email the author easily.* Please take a few moments, if you liked the story, to say so.
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address (it goes directly to your clipboard without having the courtesy of mentioning that to you) to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. Note: If the email address pastes or arrives with %40 in the middle, replace that weird set of characters with an @ sign.]
* Some browsers may require a right click instead
