Christmas Without You

by Rob Warr

Chapter 3

It was about an hour later that mom finally called. She asked for Linda and Sammy and I waited anxiously as Linda took the call. She didn't say much, just grunted and nodded as if mom could see her, but she didn't seem too upset, which we both took as good news.

"Okay, mom...don't worry. We'll be fine. Do you want us to call Juanita and have her bring you some clothes or anything?"

So, mom must be spending the night at the hospital...I gathered, and though that wasn't for sure bad news, it was disturbing. I'd never slept in our house without at least one of my parents there, and now it appeared both would be spending the night at the hospital.

"Okay, mom...don't worry. I have money, we'll call in a pizza. Okay, yes...tell dad we love him," she said turning to us and giving us a crooked smile, "Yeah, Eric is staying over, so he'll keep Tommy company. Okay, here's Sammy," she said handing the phone to my older brother while I waited anxiously for my turn.

Fortunately, Sammy isn't much of a talker, though he did tell mom he loved her and told her to tell dad he loved him too. That was a lot for Sammy to say, emotionally that is, and I sensed he was as worried as I was about dad.

Then it was my turn, and try as hard as I could not to cry, I was still just a little kid and I broke down the second I heard her voice. Surprisingly both Linda and Sammy were there to hold me and comfort me, and soon Eric joined in the group hug. We didn't talk long, mostly 'I miss you' and 'I love you' and stuff, and then mom hung up and I wiped my eyes and handed the phone to Linda.

"Who's hungry?" Linda said, and though no one really was, we had to eat, and pizza sounded as good as anything.

As we sat watching a Christmas movie on TV, eating pizza and swigging soda, none of us felt the need to speak. To consider the worst was unthinkable, and yet none of us felt like rehashing the positive side of things. Instead we talked about other things, less serious things, between the long bouts of silence.

Despite not having much of an appetite we managed to finish off both pizzas and consume enough soda to ensure several bathroom trips before the night was over. Linda excused herself to her room and called one of her best friends on her newly acquired cell phone, while Sammy napped on the sofa.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked Eric, since he was company.

He shrugged, "Nothing, really. Just sit here and watch TV with you, if that's okay."

That was the perfect answer. I didn't feel like thinking about anything at the moment, and what better way to do that than to stare at the boob tube for a few hours?

Eventually, Sammy got up and went to his room. A short time later I heard the shower running upstairs, then later his door close as he sheltered for the night in his room. A short while later Linda came down to check up on us and to say goodnight.

"Be sure to shower, guys," she said, but her voice didn't have the authoritative inflection that mom's usually did. Fortunately, Eric and I were predisposed to bathe without being reminded, and as soon as we finished watching TV we grabbed clean undies and headed to the upstairs bathroom that I shared with Sammy.

Linda had her own bathroom, though it only had a shower and not a bathtub, but at least we guys didn't have to be subjected to her girlie things.

Eric and I had been bathing together since we were skinny little boys that easily fit in a bathtub together. No one thought anything about it, not even my siblings, who had pretty much accepted Eric as a fourth kid after the first few weeks.

But now that we were older, we were a bit too big for the bathtub, or maybe we just thought showers were more grown up. However, there was plenty of room to stand up in a bathtub to shower, and we had transitioned into this new form of bathing together rather easily.

I'm not gonna lie and say we never did more than shower. We were both boys, both curious about our bodies and eager to learn new things. It never got more serious than touching and looking, but then we were still little boys at that stage and not victims of our hormones.

That night we washed each other's back, and when Eric's soft hands touched my skin it sent shivers down my spine. I'd always enjoyed his touches, his hugs, and yes...his kisses on the cheek, which these days were few and far between. Like I said, we were closer than brothers and way too young to think of our relationship as more than just friendship.

"I'm worried," I confided in my friend, who was gently massaging my shoulder muscles with his soapy hands. The tension was beginning to melt away, but there was still a gnawing pain deep down inside me that no amount of rubbing could relieve.

"The Doctors will fix him up. Heck, he'll probably be home tomorrow. They'll probably just send him home and say, 'get lots of rest'."

"I hope you're right," I said relaxing into his hands, "that feels good. Thanks, want me to do you now?"

He giggled at my choice of words but I didn't catch it, not then anyway. I soaped up my hands and went to work on him, marveling at his slender smooth body and his caramel colored skin. I loved his color, even if some kids acted like he was poison or something. What difference did the color of a person's skin make? I wondered, when inside we are all the same. Besides, I thought his color was neat, and secretly wished I was that color too. The closest I ever got was in summer when I did tan quite well, but I still looked pale compared to my friend.

Another thing that was a little different about Eric was his butt. It was prominent and very round and later in life I learned it was called a 'bubble butt'. It looked a little out of place on him, and when he was dressed it seemed to stick out even more. Some kids made fun of him, but he usually blew it off and said they were just jealous.

I wasn't shy at all when it came to being naked with Eric, and I'd bet we knew as much about each other's body as we did our own. I didn't hesitate a moment before letting my hands drift down to that brown plump butt of his, and he moaned lowly as I worked my sudsy hands all around it.

"That feels good," Eric whispered over his shoulder, "your hands feel good on my bootie."

"Bootie," I laughed, "yeah, bootie. I like your bootie," I confessed, "Sometimes I wish mine was this nice."

"Yo bootie is just fine," Eric assured me, "for a white boy," he laughed.

"Oh, making fun of me now?" I teased as I slapped his ass playfully.

"Ohhh...not so hard," he giggled, "I might like that."

We finally managed to get washed, rinsed, and dried off without too much more being said, though I will admit we both got sort of aroused during the shower. But, that was pretty normal, and we knew it was just guy stuff and every boy had that same problem.

In my room, I tossed my dirty clothes in my hamper and Eric neatly folded his to wear again tomorrow, all except his underwear, which he crammed into a zippered compartment of his gym bag. Besides clean underwear his bag had held his toothbrush, a hairbrush, and a pair of socks, and some magazines at the bottom.

"Ready for bed?" I asked when he'd finished.

"If you are," he said, "I'm not really tired but we can talk till we fall asleep, if you want."

"Yeah, that's fine," I said pulling back the covers and climbing into my full-size bed.

"Oh, the sheets are cold," Eric laughed, "keep me warm, Tommy, snuggle up to me."

There was no need to ask, we were both snugglers, and had been doing that since the first time one of us slept over. I knew that the older we got, the less likely we'd be to do stuff like that, but for now we were still innocent and saw nothing wrong with sharing a bit of body heat.

Eric's fluffy buns were fun to snuggle against, and with an arm draped around him as I rubbed his tummy, we talked quietly till Eric finally trailed off in mid sentence and I knew he was asleep. I snuggled in closer, sniffed Eric's unique scent, and contentedly followed him into slumber.


I awoke early with a full bladder and gently untangled myself from Eric, who was still sleeping peacefully. By the time I got back, however, he was awake and in need of the bathroom himself. I considered going back to bed, but I wanted to see if Sammy or Linda was up yet, and if mom had called again.

I found them downstairs at the dining room table, and they both looked as if they hadn't slept a wink last night. Sammy's hair was all messed up, and Linda, who always tried to look her best, didn't look much better.

"Morning," I said yawning, "any word from mom yet?"

"No, not yet," Linda said, "I was about to fix some breakfast. Where's your other half?" she asked giving me a little smile.

"Peeing," I giggled.

"Thanks for that news flash," she said making a face, "the only thing I know how to make is waffles, is that okay?"

"Yeah, waffles are fine," I agreed, "what about bacon?"

"I'll take care of the bacon," Sammy said getting up, "dad showed me how to bake it in the oven," he added, then looked sad at the mention of dad's name.

Eric wandered in next, looking better than all of us, and his smile seemed to be just the remedy we needed for our morning blues. It was no surprise that Eric knew his way around the kitchen considering how much his granny liked to cook, and soon he was helping Sammy and Linda prepare our breakfast.

We'd just sat down to waffles and bacon when the phone rang. Sammy was nearest and picked up on the third ring.

"Hello," he said looking a bit grim, then his expression changed and he relaxed some, "no, nothing yet. We're having breakfast, we'll call you as soon as we hear anything, okay? Yeah, I gotta go, in case mom calls, bye."

"Let me guess, my mom?" Eric said drowning his waffle in blueberry syrup.

"Yep, she said to call her when you were ready to come home."

"So...never?" I giggled.

Eric giggled too, "Well, maybe not ever. I'd miss paw paw and meemaw, and my momma."

"And all those goodies your granny makes," I added.

"Well, yeah, that too," he said grinning.

We ate in near silence after that, none of us eager to bring up the situation or discuss the possible outcomes. As long as we didn't think it or say it aloud, nothing bad would happen, or so we thought. We trusted in the doctors and medical science to fix our dad up and send him home, but that didn't keep us from worrying, or from wondering why mom hadn't called, yet.

It was nine o'clock before mom finally called, but she really didn't have much to tell us, other than that dad was awake and talking, though he was still in a lot of pain and very weak. They were running a lot of tests on him and at the moment he was having an MRI, whatever that was, and she'd gone down to the coffee shop for coffee and a donut. She said she'd call again as soon as she knew more, then went on to ask if we were okay. Did we need someone to come stay with us? Stuff like that, and once she was satisfied we were okay on our own she told Linda where to find some emergency cash in her and dad's room so we could order out if needed.

We all got a chance to talk to her, but there really wasn't much to tell her except we missed her, and loved her and dad, and prayed they'd be home soon.

"Bummer," Sammy said when he'd hung up the phone, "I'm going to my room. Holler at me if mom calls again."

I had hoped Sammy would hang around since we were kinda facing a crisis together, but I also sort of understood how he felt. He was dealing with this in the only way he knew how, alone, but I wasn't sure it was gonna work this time.

Eric was a big help though, and I was glad he'd come. Linda was her usual calm cool self most of the time, but occasionally I saw her gazing into space and looking as worried as I felt. I needed to get away, but I didn't want to go too far, so I suggested Eric and I go outside for a while.

It was warmer than the day before, with temps in the 50s, and the sun felt good on our faces. As we did every year we'd wished for a white Christmas, but as usual our wish seemed unlikely to be granted.

"I wonder what an MR, whatever test is?" I mused as we took a seat on the porch swing dad had proudly built himself two years ago.

"MRI," Eric said, "my mom had one, "it's like an x ray, only with like microwaves or something. It's so they can see inside you."

"Oh," I said giving that some thought, "I wonder what they think is in there."

If Eric knew he wasn't sharing that information and he just shrugged.

"Man, I wish I could be there...at the hospital. Anything is better than not knowing what's going on," I said, the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Eric threw an arm around my neck and bumped heads with me, "That's why I'm here, bro, so you don't have to face this alone."

"Thanks," I said burying my head in his shoulder, "Sometimes you're more like a brother to me than Sammy ."

"He's a crazy teenager," Eric said grinning, "we'll soon find out what that's like."

"Yeah, I guess. He's okay, I guess, I just wish...that he didn't shut himself in his room like that."

"We could go bug him till he gives in and comes out," Eric laughed.

"We could, but he's bigger than us. He might kick our asses," I joked.

"Hey, there's two of us, two against one, that's good odds."

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