Strong Enough
by Nico Grey
XIII
Caleb couldn't move.
The sight of Tyler's mother inspecting his pink bikini briefs had been alarming. The question that followed had been deeply disturbing.
"Is this what gay boys wear?"
His brain hadn't even started to process the follow-up question: "Will I need to buy Tyler some of these?" But he had heard it. He was sure that he must have heard it as he sensed a slight warmth trickling down his leg.
The human instinct in this sort of crisis was for fight or flight, but Caleb's body wouldn't allow him to do either. He was pretty sure that single moment had set him up for a lifetime of PTSD. . . at least as soon as his brain started functioning again. He wasn't sure how long he stood rooted to the living room floor.
"Caleb?"
He was certain that wasn't his mother's voice. It didn't sound like Grace, either.
"Are you okay?"
Tyler emerged tentatively from the bathroom.
Caleb just extended his arm rigidly in Grace's direction.
When Tyler noticed the pink briefs in his mother's hand, his eyes widened in horror. He looked ready to run until he noticed Caleb's traumatized condition. Deliberately, he marched to Caleb's side and embraced him. Then he turned to confront his mother.
"What have you done to him?" Tyler demanded.
Caleb couldn't bring himself to watch. He buried his face in Tyler's shoulder.
The living room was gripped in silence. Caleb couldn't hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears.
Gradually, he became aware that Tyler was shivering gently, then shuddering. Then his breath heaved in his chest. Caleb was pretty sure that he heard a barely-suppressed snort and a giggle.
"That was so cruel!" Tyler accused.
"I can't believe the two of you are allowed to be mothers," Tyler chastised them. "You've broken my boyfriend."
Tyler gripped both sides of Caleb's head and pulled it toward his face. He planted his lips firmly on Caleb's and held them there until he began to feel Caleb relax in his arms.
When Tyler started to turn away to face their mothers, Caleb tried to pull him back into their embrace.
"Don't," he pleaded. "I need you."
"These two need a stern talking-to first," Tyler explained.
Despite that, he burst out laughing.
Caleb was shocked when his mother and Grace joined the laughter.
"This isn't funny," he insisted into Tyler's shoulder through gritted teeth. "I have to go change."
Tyler glanced down at Caleb's legs and his eyes widened.
" You two really are awful," he reiterated. But the smile didn't leave his face. "We'll be back. . ." he paused to consider the possibilities, "whenever we're ready."
At that, Grace did look a bit hesitant.
"Don't take too long," Nicole instructed. "We still need to talk."
Nicole had invited Grace, and she and Tyler were joining the Bradfords for dinner. Perhaps the ladies had grown tired of waiting for the boys to return to the living room.
It must have been some sort of infantile regression, Caleb reflected. It was also a clear sign that, despite his personal history, he trusted Tyler a great deal.
He had patiently allowed Tyler to sponge him down, dry him off, and powder his bottom. He had balked at allowing Tyler to powder his 'pee-pee' until Tyler relented and used the 'grown-up' term for it. Then, all clean and 'baby fresh', he spent some comforting moments in Tyler's arms before they headed downstairs to rejoin their mothers.
Caleb blushed to think about how much he had enjoyed the experience. For the past two years, he had actively feared allowing himself to be so vulnerable with another person. But he didn't feel even slightly uncomfortable around Tyler.
He had allowed himself to be physically vulnerable, in Tyler's complete control. He had exposed himself emotionally, allowing Tyler to clean him up and baby him. Caleb understood that this actually represented real progress in his recovery.
The only place he had drawn the line was when Tyler suggested that he ask his mother to throw Caleb's pink briefs upstairs to them. That, he was quite sure, was more than even the most emotionally secure person would have tolerated.
Dinner began with Caleb communicating requests of his mother or Grace through Tyler, but he really was just role-playing by that time. Thirty minutes in Tyler's comforting arms had almost eliminated his stress. He couldn't quite see the humor in the situation yet, but he could feel that his emotions had almost finished leveling out.
Both Nicole and Grace did him the courtesy of apologizing, although he could sense the smirks just beneath their solemn expressions. They acknowledged that they hadn't taken enough time to consider his feelings.
The mothers had planned to talk with Tyler and Caleb as a group after their conversation the previous day. A colleague at work had mentioned to Grace that she heard Tyler was being harassed at school, and that there were at least questions about him and his new friend, so she had invited Nicole to visit her and discuss how they might support their boys.
Nicole, of course, was fully aware of Caleb's sexual attractions. Grace had sensed that Caleb's interests weren't those of the average fifteen-year-old boy, as well as the possibility that something more than a casual friendship might be developing between him and her son.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that," she hastened to assure Caleb. "You seem like a wonderful young man. And all I've ever wanted for Tyler is for him to live his life however he chooses, as long as he's safe and happy."
" And that's what Grace and I want to talk about with you boys," Nicole explained. "I gather that you're both happy with your friendship."
She waited for their anxious nods to turn enthusiastic.
"And I hope that you're both communicating very clearly with each other."
Tyler and Caleb reprised their synchronized bobble-head routine.
"And that you're taking your time before jumping into anything sexual?"
Caleb was horrified.
"Mom!" he complained. "We're not sex fiends! We've barely even seen each other naked, like, three times!"
" Five," Tyler corrected. He tapped the side of his forehead. "That includes today," he amended hastily. Then he turned beet red.
"So you've had plenty of opportunity to impregnate the poor boy," Nicole observed dryly. She eyed Caleb reproachfully.
Caleb's tension was rising again. He felt on the verge of an eruption. Then he noticed Grace chuckling quietly to herself.
"I'm pretty sure neither of them will get pregnant, Nicole," she said. Then she eyed Tyler questioningly.
"Definitely not!" he defended Caleb. He turned an even deeper shade of red.
Nicole burst out laughing and Grace had to cover her mouth with both hands.
Caleb considered suggesting to Tyler that they go upstairs and try. But he knew that he could never muster the courage to make such an audacious suggestion. He and Tyler would just have to sit and take it until their mothers grew tired of abusing them.
"Boys," Nicole tried to redirect the conversation once she had herself back under control.
" I know this is an awkward conversation. That's probably why we aren't handling it so well," she smirked. "What we really wanted to do tonight is make sure that you're both happy together.
"Your mother was a little surprised to discover that you're interested in another boy, Tyler. We're here to answer any questions that either of you have and to support you in the choices you make."
"I'm happy!" Tyler insisted. "I've always thought that I was interested in girls. But since I met Caleb, being with him just feels like the most natural thing in the world."
" Why do you think that is?" Grace wondered.
"I don't know if I have the right words," Tyler told her. "I just know that I feel safe when I'm with Caleb. He doesn't try to make me be anything but who I am. He lets me be myself.
"We ski together. I'm teaching him jiu-jitsu. I like photography and he likes art. When I feel like kissing him, we kiss. And when I don't, he always lets me decide what we do. I don't have to be anybody but what I am, and he's always there for me."
Caleb felt uncomfortable with the praise, but it still made him feel warm inside. He thought that his mother was eyeing him proudly. Even Grace appeared to be examining him with approval. He attempted to meet her gaze.
"You don't mind?" he wondered.
"As long as you're looking out for each other? Of course not!" Grace insisted. "Everybody needs someone to look out for them. If you turn out to be that person for Tyler, and him for you, I'll always be here to support both of you."
" And you will need to protect each other," Nicole cut in. "Your mother told me that you're being harassed at school," she told Tyler, "and that you were bullied badly a few years ago.
"I don't know how much Caleb has told you," she interrogated her son with a brief glance, "but he had a very bad experience when he was in eighth grade. The only thing that really matters to me is that you both look out for each other. And that if either of you are in need, you be there for each other.
" And that means coming to your mothers for help!" she added firmly. "The world isn't always an easy place. Sometimes it can be pretty hard to find the strength to survive it. So you share your strength with each other. And when you need it, you come to us. You may be just a few years away from being adults, but we're your mothers. We're here to help."
"Do you think we could get Abby's parents to adopt us?" Caleb asked, after he and Tyler had excused themselves from the dinner table.
Tyler laughed, but he was thoughtful.
" That was actually pretty cool," he decided. "Uncomfortable as anything I've experienced in years," he admitted. "But it's nice to know that our moms support us and they'll be there to help us if we need it."
Finding Lexxi and her crew back at their usual lunch table on Monday didn't improve Caleb's attitude about the start of the school week. They appeared intent on minding their own business, which Caleb certainly saw as positive. But he would have been more comfortable had they remained at the far end of the lunch room. Even with all the typical Monday uproar in the room, he could feel their presence looming.
Abby was busy quietly interrogating Tyler about "Sunday dinner with the in-laws", as she phrased it. As far as Caleb could gather, Abby had called Tyler Sunday evening to catch up on his weekend activities. When he mentioned the ambush by Grace and Nicole after he and Caleb returned home from skiing, she began prying for details.
From what he could follow of Abby's end of the conversation, Tyler had told her a lot more than Caleb thought necessary. When he heard Abby snicker something about giving him a sponge bath, he was shocked.
"I can't believe you told Abby about that!" Caleb groaned.
"Oh, he told me absolutely everything," Abby informed him smugly.
"You told her about my pink panties!" Caleb felt betrayed. "How could you do that to me?!"
"Pink panties!" Abby shrieked. "What about pink panties?!"
Tyler shook his head in reproach.
Caleb slid slowly down into his chair as attention from nearby tables turned toward their table.
" You didn't tell me this?" Abby smacked Tyler firmly on his upper arm.
"I guess I didn't have to," he observed wryly.
"So what else happened?" Abby demanded of both of them. "You guys are holding out on me!"
"I have purple panties!" Tyler blurted. Softly. "We got them to match. I just got lucky when we drew for colors," he pleaded for Caleb's understanding with his eyes.
" I was teasing Caleb about the bikini briefs he wore the first time we visited you. So I kind of owed him. It's a bro solidarity thing," he concluded piously.
'Bro solidarity thing?' Caleb mouthed back at him.
Tyler shrugged helplessly.
"We're always there for each other," Tyler explained to Abby, "Even if it means that I have to wear purple panties," he finished sheepishly.
"I have got to see this!" Abby decided. "When you stop by next Saturday, wear them!"
"Do we have any choice?" Caleb pleaded.
" What do you think?" she snickered. "You keep me happy and I play nice with you." She massaged his forearm forcefully, letting him feel the strength in her fingers.
Tuesday evening, Caleb and his mother joined Grace and Tyler for dinner. Nothing came up during the meal to alarm him. But the idea that both mothers now knew that he and Tyler were together, and were probably becoming intimate, was intimidating.
Most teen boys navigated their sexual voyage without much parental supervision; even the loose sort of supervision provided by Grace and Nicole. Every time he saw Grace looking at him, he wondered if she was visualizing him naked with her baby boy. It was almost enough to put him off the idea of getting naked with her baby boy.
Tyler appeared to be taking the parental involvement in stride. Caleb guessed that perhaps he had grown used to his mother's greater involvement in his life, being a single parent. He had to acknowledge that Grace was a very devoted mother, involved in Tyler's life as much as she could be while working hard to support the two of them.
Caleb also sensed that Tyler wasn't at all uncomfortable having Caleb's mother playing a role in his life. Nicole made it abundantly clear that she adored him. That served to bolster his self-esteem. A few personal questions on occasion— overly personal, in Caleb's estimation— were something that Tyler apparently felt a small price to pay for Nicole's support.
Two issues that had been on Caleb's mind came up during dinner. The snow on the ground was likely to prove sufficient for skiing for at least two more months, but Tyler and Grace were already thinking ahead to warmer weather.
"Can you bring my bike to Burrows the next time you go to Brattleboro?" Tyler asked his mother. "I want to get it tuned up before I start riding this spring."
That triggered a conversation about Tyler's activities during the warmer weather. Once the trails were no longer suitable for skiing, he wasted no time getting his mountain bike out. Just like with his skiing, Tyler biked for the exercise, but also for the adventure and opportunities to use his cameras.
Nicole cast a curious eye in Caleb's direction. He still felt anxious about the idea, but he had made his decision more than a week ago.
"What kind of bike do you have?" he asked Tyler.
He was relieved to learn that Tyler wasn't obsessed with the hobby. He rode a little Polygon Siskiu. It wasn't a high end racing machine. But it was comfortable, reliable, and capable of taking Tyler just about anywhere he cared to ride within thirty miles of Antioch.
"How much would it cost me to buy one?"
That was also good news. Tyler was pretty sure that Caleb could find a Siskiu model similar to his own for between eight hundred and a thousand dollars. That price might eat into Caleb's 'first car' fund, but he could still afford it. And he was pretty sure that he'd get his money's worth, too, if he and Tyler spent as much time on bikes during the summer as they were presently spending on skis.
The other issue was something that Tyler had already arranged with Grace and Nicole. He spent every Tuesday evening at the gym, studying jiu-jitsu. Caleb discovered that he would be spending the evening with Tyler in Brattleboro, getting his first taste of professional instruction in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Nicole had already given her approval and taken care of fees for a few weeks.
Grace volunteered to bring Caleb to class with Tyler every week. Nicole was happy to share the responsibility. Caleb's existence was one more step closer to being organized in sync with Tyler's life. He couldn't help thinking that many of his cards had been coming up aces recently.
School on Wednesday reminded Caleb that there were still a few jokers in his deck. He really was hoping that he'd have more classes with Tyler and Abby when the second semester started in another week. Until then, he found himself the object of the occasional hostile stare as he strolled the corridors between classes.
He realized that public clashes with Lexxi Sprague would make him fewer friends than enemies. Lexxi was popular, whether because she was loved or feared. There were always a few clowns looking to suck up to the popular crowd. So while he found himself drawing more curious stares as he wandered the halls of learning, he was definitely sensing more hostility. Sometimes he even felt it from careless shoulders and elbows.
He hoped that Tyler wasn't also feeling the wrath of Team Lexxi. He certainly didn't deserve it. He had never done anything to earn it. But he did have the misfortune of being Caleb's friend. And Caleb understood the sociology of public schools.
Abby also, he was sure, was suffering for having a friend who had crossed the queen of mean. But she never complained about it. Instead, she spent most of her evening telephone calls complaining that Caleb and Tyler weren't sharing enough "torrid deets" about their love life.
Caleb was half tempted to titillate her with fantastic details of near-impossible sexual activities. But he was smart enough to understand that would only encourage her and make their visits to her house even more awkward than they already were.
Besides, he was pretty sure that Tyler would disapprove of him sharing any sexual details, even if they were complete works of fiction.
He and Abby did spend a modest amount of time attempting to psychoanalyze Lexxi. That was natural. Lexxi was a consistent threat to make their lives miserable. It was only natural to talk about her and to vent occasionally.
Abby also recalled that Lexxi had once been known as Sandra Sprague. Her explanation for the name change was simple. Insecurity.
Lexxi needed to build up her image. The name change was part of her new, intimidating identity. That helped her to feel safe.
But she also intimidated others to assure her status within Silver River social circles. Part of her intimidation involved hurting others. Sometimes she tore down the reputations of peers that she thought could threaten her. Both tactics created conflict.
By the time that he and Abby ended their conversation, Caleb was struck by the irony. Lexxi's insecurity, that motivated much of her vicious behavior toward others, was starting to make him feel very insecure.
While Caleb and Abby were speaking together on the phone, Van Cross was alone in the basement of his parents' home. He had grown tired of being patient. He had waited for close to two months, but Caleb Bradford seemed to be getting closer to Abby West and that Neeson kid with each passing day, rather than them drifting apart with the passage of time.
The arc of Van's moral universe wasn't bending toward justice. It was threatening to frustrate his goals and ambitions yet again.
The time for patience was past, Van decided. God helps those that help themselves. He had heard that. Now he just needed to figure out how to help himself.
Like most tech aficionados, Van understood the value of knowledge. The way to solve a problem came thought understanding. Understanding grew from knowledge.
Van had watched the busses arrive at school every morning and learned that Caleb Bradford lived in Judah. Public records showed that a Nicole Bradford had recently purchased a home in Judah. A search for Nicole Bradford found New Hampshire records for a recent divorce between Nicole Bradford and a Donald Bradford, both apparently living in Keene at the time of their divorce.
Since there were no other Bradfords living anywhere in the Silver River Union School District that appeared in public records, and since Van had heard some mention about that 'new' Bradford kid coming from New Hampshire, he was confident that Keene, New Hampshire, prior to the Summer of 2025, was the place he needed to start searching for information about Caleb Bradford.
He booted up his computer and connected to the internet.
It was just a feeling. There was no evidence to support it. But when Caleb Bradford got out of bed Thursday morning, he did so with a sense of foreboding. It just felt like it was going to be a bad day.
Nothing unusual happened during the bus ride to school. None of his fellow passengers behaved differently. The ancient bus driver's skill hadn't improved any during the nearly five months he had been transporting Caleb. Abby joined him at her bus stop.
They arrived at school. They visited for a while in the cafeteria. As the start of the homeroom period approached, they went their separate ways.
Caleb wished that he shared his homeroom with Abby or Tyler. . . or that he had made some effort to reach out and make friends with his fellow inmates during the year. He was starting to think that social connections might be worth the effort. . . and the risk.
The good news, from his perspective, was that he had done some schedule coordination with Abby and Tyler. It seemed likely that he would share a few classes with his friends during the second semester of the school year.
By the time he arrived in the cafeteria for lunch, Caleb was starting to forget the feeling of impending doom that had haunted him since he woke. He had navigated all of his morning classes without anything unusual occurring. He hadn't even drawn any attention while in the corridors, passing from one class to the next.
He dropped his lunch tray on the usual table. Abby and Tyler were already seated and waiting for him.
"Sorry," Caleb apologized. "We had a lab in Biology today. It ran a little long."
Tyler seemed eager to see him. Abby appeared to be somewhat distracted. When she missed an opportunity to interrupt an exchange with sexual innuendo, Caleb noticed.
" What's up, Abby?" It wasn't a brilliant conversational foray. But he was curious.
It took Abby a moment to notice the silence and realize that Caleb had asked her a question.
"Oh! I was just wondering why Benjer Frye is having lunch at Lexxi's table today. That seems odd," she remarked.
That required an explanation. Caleb didn't know Benjer. It turned out that he wasn't really the class of individual that Lexxi usually bothered with either.
"What sort of name is 'Benjer'," Caleb wondered.
" A nickname," Abby explained. "When he started school, he used to tell people that his name was 'Benjerman'. I guess he had trouble saying 'Benjamin'. And he was kind of annoying. So when people started getting nicknames, instead of Ben or Benny, we started calling him 'Benjer'. I don't think he ever really got it."
"So is he, like, a little slow?" Caleb asked. He couldn't imagine Lexxi giving the time of day to anyone very far beneath her on the social ladder.
" That's one word for it," Abby snorted. "He's not stupid. There are just some things he really doesn't get. But his father is a bit of a big deal around town. He's on the school board. And Benjer is on the basketball team."
"Is he any good?" Caleb really hadn't bothered to follow the fortunes of the Silver River basketball team.
"Seventh-string power forward," Abby smirked.
"They have that many players on the team?" Even a much larger school like Keene High had limits on the size of their varsity teams.
" We have two or three power forwards on the roster," Abby said. "Then we have Benjer. His father is on the school board," she explained.
"So he can't really play," Caleb decided.
"He commits a lot of offensive fouls," Abby agreed. "Even on defense, he commits some very offensive fouls."
Which still begged the question, why did Lexxi allow him to eat lunch at her table?
Abby had tried to convince Caleb and Tyler to come to her house after school. She had a strong sense that they needed to hold a strategy session. That was how she explained it, although there was also a brief allusion to a 'tune-up' to relieve tension.
"How would we get home?" Caleb wondered.
"You could spend the night!" It even sounded like the idea had just occurred to her.
Caleb didn't dignify the suggestion with a response. Her parents would never agree.
"You could spend the night with Tyler! It's only about a twenty-five minute walk from my house to his house."
Caleb suspected this might have been her agenda all along. She had a very excited gleam in her eyes.
"Tyler's mother would never agree. Especially on a school night."
Tyler shrugged ambivalently.
"I know that my mother would be against it," Caleb added. "Now that she's seen those pink bikini briefs, she assumes that's all we have on our minds!"
"It does cross my mind occasionally," Tyler admitted.
"And I don't have any clean clothes with me," Caleb added.
"You don't need to wear any to bed," Tyler smirked, but Caleb noticed him watching Abby out of the corner of his eye. "That worked out fine last time you slept over."
" What would I do about clothes tomorrow?" Caleb thought it might be a problem.
"I probably have some underwear you could borrow," Tyler suggested innocently. "I think maybe they're purple. I doubt you'll need anything else."
"Yes!!!" Abby exploded. "That would be so hot!"
"Then you can fantasize about it when you go to sleep tonight," Caleb advised Abby.
He shot Tyler an accusatory stare.
"I don't need to do anything to get myself in trouble at school tomorrow."
Caleb had already checked out for the week when he set his lunch tray down in its customary location on Friday. He was looking forward to a day of skiing with Tyler on Saturday and likely a night together at one home or the other. It was Tyler's turn to host him. But he really wouldn't care where they were, as long as they spent the night together.
Abby seemed distracted again, so he glanced over toward Lexxi's table. She was surrounded by her regular posse, engaged in some sort of intense discussion. At the far end of her table, the guy that Abby had identified as Benjer Frye was listening closely.
When Caleb's gaze swept back in Lexxi's direction, he was surprised to find her staring directly back at him. Her expression didn't portend good tidings for all. Especially not for Caleb Bradford.
Friday was burger day at the Silver River High School cafeteria. Caleb was grateful for the distraction. The burger wasn't bad. It certainly wouldn't be as poisonous as Lexxi's glare.
Tyler engaged Caleb and Abby in a discussion about plans for the weekend. Caleb was still curious about Tyler's willingness to encourage Abby's interest in them. He was checking to confirm the time frame that her parents were likely to be away.
Caleb was already resigned to being Abby's part-time boy-toy as long as it also served a medical purpose. She had actually learned to give a rather effective massage. He would endure her obvious interest in her 'work', including the pre-treatment ritual bath for her 'clients'. But he was hoping those baths remained private affairs for him and Tyler.
He was actually rather amused that Abby fantasized so enthusiastically about what went on in her bathtub. He didn't find it at all ironic that he also was already fantasizing about what he hoped would happen there the following day.
While his mind wandered, he didn't notice the quiet fall over his table. But when he was reminded that he hadn't finished eating, he finally noticed the cone of silence that surrounded him.
Caleb noticed Lexxi observing him out of the corner of her eye. But her focus was on Tyler, measuring him like a cobra preparing to strike.
"This is the one I was telling you all about," she indicated Tyler. "They're letting children eat with us in the cafeteria.
"What's even more disgraceful," she went on, "is that some guys would rather hang out with little children. God alone knows why."
She turned to Caleb and let her eyes travel contemptuously up and down him.
"Have I told you about the size of the child's penis?" she directed the question at the guy Caleb thought must be Benjer Frye.
Caleb decided that he didn't need to hear any more.
"I don't know why you're so fixated on anyone's personal parts. From what I hear, you can buy dicks in all colors and sizes." Caleb locked eyes with Lexxi.
"If you don't like what you find here, why not just go home and select a bigger one from your personal collection." Caleb considered leaving it at that, but was inspired. "Maybe something battery-powered. At least that kind of dick might get turned on by you."
"You don't like Lexxi?"
Caleb's eyes never left Lexxi, but he recognized a male voice.
"What are you? Gay?"
"Well if that's the only other option available," Caleb grinned, his eyes still challenging Lexxi. "Are you asking for yourself?" he inquired brightly.
He never even saw the punch coming.
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