So Cal Summer 69

by Flip McHooter

Chapter 5

"I'm so sorry I was on the telephone for so long. Yum, this is delicious, LuAnn," Lulu said looking over at my mom. "Apparently, my soon-to-be ex-husband's cousin is working as a dispatcher in the moving company's office. I literately had to beg him not to say anything to Ace, my deadbeat husband. I really don't want that pinhead to find out where we're living."

"He won't bother us, Mom. I think we've seen the last of him," Jake said.

"I agree," Lisa said. "If he shows his mug around here, he's dirt."

My mom and dad quickly shot each other a look, wondering what that was all about. Then my mom turned her head and shot me a different one, one of those looks that only moms can make. I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to scarfing down the rest of my breakfast.

"Well, let's forget about that donkey for now. Why don't you kids help LuAnn clean up the dishes and then wait outside for the moving truck?" Lulu asked.

The three of us older kids quietly stood up, and, grumbling under our breath, started clearing the table. Jordan made sure that Sloan got her share of the leftovers. Jake had taken over scraping off the plates into the trash and then dumping them in the sink where Lisa was busy working on making a pile of soapy bubbles. After she had scrubbed the dishes clean, I rinsed them off and put them on the dish rack to dry.

"Oh, Madge, your hands are so soft and luxurious. Mine are so crusty and oozing with slime that smells like burnt squid guts. How do you keep your hands so silky smooth?" I asked in best my TV commercial voice.

"Why it's Palmolive, sweetie. I'm soaking in it!"

"Dishwashing liquid?"


"Is it that mild, Madge? Truly."

"It's more than mild. Milder than you'll ever know."

"Hmmm, it is mild. And it's a lovely shade of dog-puke green," I said, trying like hell not to bust up.

"And don't call me Madge!" That did it. We all started laughing.

Then it was Jake's turn. He piped up with: "Did you know that if Ida Lupino married Don Ho, she'd be Ida Ho? Badda-boom! I'm here all week," he laughed, clapping his hands. I think he got a bigger kick out of that than we did.

"You guys are so trippy," Jordy said, "I forgot to laugh."

The tension from the talk about Jake and Lisa's dad Ace had finally lifted. We quickly finished up with the dishes and headed out front to sit on the steps and wait for the moving guys.

"Sorry guys, I have to take a dump. I'll be right back," Jordy said as he got up and started running back into the house.

"Thanks for the information, Jordy," Lisa said. "This is going to be so freakin lame."

"I know. We've already had to pack this shit up once, now we've got to do it all over, but in reverse," added Jake.

"I've got something that might make it go faster," I whispered so my folks wouldn't hear. "Let's run out to my treehouse and smoke a bowl of weed."

"Oh Ryan, you're a lifesaver. I'm gonna give you a kiss," Lisa said.

"Uh, no time. Sorry. Save it for later," I said, turning my head away.

"Yeah, let's go before your brother gets back," Jake said.

"Okay, follow me."

The three of us cut across the lawn and hurried through the backyard to the treehouse. I felt sorry for ditching the little man, but this was something that he didn't need to know about. I hustled up the tree, grabbed my pipe and my stash, and then climbed back down. We got comfortable leaning against the trunk of the tree, and I gentlemanly gave the first honors to Lisa. You could tell that she had smoked a lot before because she didn't cough and gag like Jake did.

Letting out a nice size puff, Lisa said "This stuff is sweet and mellow. Thanks for sharing your stash with us."

"No problem," I said as I repacked the pipe and handed it over to Jake. "Here you go, young man. Remember, take it nice and slow this time."

"Okay, Roger that."

Jake exhaled the herb and handed me the empty pipe. I packed another pinch in it and lit the lighter. I inhaled an excellent drag, and after holding my breath for a few seconds blew it out. We sat there for a while, soaking up the California sunshine, just veggin' out and not saying anything, until we heard the jingle of Sloan's collar and the sound of Jordan's little feet running full speed up the path towards us.

"Guys! Guys! Where are you? Are you out here? The moving truck is finally here," he yelled excitedly at us.

I jumped up and managed to put the pipe in the stash box, then tossed the stash box up and onto the treehouse porch just as my little brother rounded the bushes and caught sight of us.

"There you are. What were you doing? C'mon guys, let's go."

"Okay, little buddy, slow down. Our stuff's not going anywhere," Jake said to Jordy as he grabbed him up, then started swinging him around and around by his arms.

"Hey, dumbass. Let me down you, you, you...trouser monkey."

Where does he get this shit? I wondered.

"And stop calling me your little buddy. I'm not that weeny Gilligan. And you sure aren't Skipper, you shithead. Put me down!"

"Come here, pussycat. Jake, put him down. Jordy, help me get up and then you can show me the way out of here. These boys kidnapped me and took me back here, and I thought I'd never see the light of day again. Thank goodness you came to my rescue, Jordy. You're my hero," Lisa deadpanned to the little man. He turned around with the biggest shit-eating grin that I've ever seen. I don't know how she did it, but she had Jordy solidly wrapped around her giant left tit.

"C'mon. Let's go!" Jordy yelled again as he reached out for Lisa's hand. Then, switching gears, he asked, "Do you think we could stay up tonight and watch a rerun of the Monkees? That's my all-time favorite show in case you didn't know."

"I guess we could do that. But you'll have to help me unpack my stuff and decorate my boudoir."

"What's a blue door?" Jordy asked. "I didn't see one of those in your house."

"Well, you wouldn't. See, it's my bedchamber. My she-den. The place where I hang my lingerie. You know, it's a girly thing."

"Oh." Suddenly Jordan wasn't all that excited any more.

"You'll have fun. I'll make you happy. We can play our music and sing and dance, and no one will care."

"Well, okay. If you say so. But promise we can watch the Monkees?"

"Here. Pinky promise."

"Jordy, are you really gonna help her with her over the shoulder boulder holders?" I asked.

"I'm gonna ralph. My she-den. Ugh! Let's go get my shit out of the truck and get this over with and then we can take off," Jake said.

"I'm with you, man. Let's book."

The four of us cruised down to Jake and Lisa's front yard and met up with the folks. The movers had pulled the big moving van next to the driveway and were busy unloading the bulky stuff and the big pieces of furniture. The Lulus were pointing this way and that to the guys from the moving company to show them where all of the furniture would go. My dad was sort of standing to the side, watching the parade of colorful furniture being unloaded. I don't think he knew quite

what to make of all of this stuff. Their furniture was a kaleidoscope of colors, shapes, and sizes. The wood on some of the pieces was swirly and unique. Nothing seemed to match, and yet, it looked comfortable and cozy.

"Hey, Jake. Where did you guys get all of this bitchin furniture? I've never seen anything like this stuff before."

"It's kind of funky, huh? My mom's brother, Uncle Gus, is a craftsman furniture designer and sort of artist. He lives on a farm by the beach in Northern California. He would give us pieces of furniture that he made every now and then, and one time when we were visiting him he had me pick out some hunks of wood from an old barn that had fallen down. He made me the coolest

headboard. Wait 'til you see it."

"Wow, that's neat. Your uncle made all of this stuff?"

"Not all of it. The rest my mom collected, mostly from estate sales and antique shops. Some of the pieces she would repaint or stain, or add some decoration to it. As nutty as she is, she has the same craftsman bug and is really a good designer, kind of like my uncle. You would love his farm, man. He's got a big place high up on a hill overlooking the ocean. When it's not foggy, you can see, like, forever. He builds stuff in his wood studio, and he paints in another studio. He has dogs and even some chickens. And he lets his neighbor farm on some of the acres. You know, now that I think about it, I bet he grows pot up there, too. It's really trippy up there. Oh, he has this funky old tractor, too, and he lets me drive it around. It doesn't go very fast, but it's really cool."

"Man, that sounds outasight. I'd love to see it sometime. How long does it take to get there?"

"Well," Jake said, thinking out loud, "last summer Mom, me and Lisa drove up there to spend a couple of weeks. It was a long slog because the microbus doesn't go that fast, but Lisa helped with the driving, so it wasn't too bad. I just sort of snoozed in the back or listened to my transistor radio. Lisa kind of freaked out when we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge though. That was funny. I think we left early in the morning and we were there just after dinnertime. It was exhausting, though."

"Cool," I said.

"Hey guys, it's time to get to work. Take those boxes over there up to your room, Jake, okay?" Lulu asked my new friend.

"Sure, mom."

Jake and I grabbed two big boxes and headed for the house. "Are these your little toys and stuffed animals?" I laughed as I started up the porch steps, balancing a big cardboard box in my arms.

"No, you dipshit. They're my collection of stinky jockstraps and dirty underwear with big, greasy skid-marks."

"I didn't know you collected that stuff. You don't seem that smelly to me."

"Actually, I like to see how many days I can go without taking a shower or wiping my ass. And sometimes, I don't change my underwear to see how many weeks it takes before they can stand up on their own from all of my farts," Jake said, continuing his lame-ass joke.

"Oh, that's super-great. That explains why Lisa and your mom want the downstairs bedrooms. If I had to have the room next to yours, I'd probably gag and barf all over myself," I said, following Jake up the stairs. "Besides, if I lit a match the house would probably explode from all that gas."

Right about then we both started laughing, not being able to keep a straight face any longer. It was evident that we were going to have to work on our comedy shtick if we were ever going to be on Laugh-In. We dropped the boxes on the floor next to the wall under the window and headed back down the stairs for another round or seven. On one trip, I brought in a Danelectro Convertible electric guitar with a cool, sparkly copper-colored Masonite front. It looked just like a bitchin '57 Chevy that I saw at a car show my dad took Jordy and me to at the fairgrounds in Pomona a few months back. Wow, Lulu was obviously a good guitar teacher and maybe wasn't as kooky as I had initially thought. Shoot, maybe she even knew a few rock stars. Man, that would be bitchin squared!

We had made a ton of trips up and down when we met the movers heading up the stairs carrying a big dresser, just as we were on the way down. They weren't very friendly, and in fact, seemed kind of skanky for some reason. Outside of staring at Lisa tits, they hadn't bothered anybody, which was a good thing. Unfortunately, that didn't last.

"Which one of you guys is Jake?" asked the older of the two movers.

"I am. Why?"

"Your dad wanted me to tell you hello, and that he'd be seeing you real soon," he said.

"Oh, okay. Yeah… well, you can go back and tell that motherfucking dickhead to fuck off and that I don't ever want to see him. He can eat shit and die for all I care."

"Slow down, man. That's kinda harsh. He just wants to be friendly with ya." the other moving guy said.

"Why? I don't even know who the hell you guys are. And what the fuck do you care?"

"Wow. Get a load of the mouth on this one," the older guy said.

"Fuck off!"

"C'mon, Jake. Let's get out of here," I said as I yanked Jake down the stairs, shoving the movers to the side while we jammed outside onto the front lawn. "We need to get out of here for a minute. Let's take a break."

"Yeah," my new bud said, kind of bewildered.

"Hey, Dad," I yelled to my old man who was supervising Jordy and Lisa balancing some sort of table on their heads. We're thirsty, and we're gonna take a bathroom break and run home to grab some Coke's. That cool?"

"All right, but don't take too long. There's a lot more stuff you boys can help with."

"Sure, Dad. We'll be back in fifteen." I grabbed Jake's arm and steered him toward my house. When we were out of earshot, I asked, "What was that shit all about? Holy crap, man, that was downright weird. You always cuss out old guys like that? I have to admit, it was kinda cool."

"Not normally, but can we please get out of here? Can we go hang out in the treehouse? Those stupid guys freaked me out. I need to get away from this weird shit for a minute."

We went inside the front door of my house, through the living room and dining room and on into the kitchen. Jake plopped down at the counter while I rooted around in the fridge looking for a couple of cold Coca-Cola's. Instead, I swiped a couple of my dad's Miller longnecks that he gets fresh from the brewery over in Irwindale, thinking Jake could use a beer right about now. Plus, I knew that it had to be after five o'clock somewhere like my Uncle Artimus says all the time. I popped the tops and threw the caps into the trash, then motioned for Jake to follow me out to the pool house.

Once we were out on the pool deck, I asked him, "How does that guy know your dad? That seems kind of fucked up."

"I don't have any idea. But obviously, my dad has some kind of connection to him. And you're right. It is fucked up. I guess by now Ace knows where we've moved. I'm gonna have to tell my mom and Lisa. Boy, are they going to be pissed."

"This completely sucks ass. You were hoping to get away from him, and now look what happened," I said, sliding the pool house door shut behind us.

"I know. Why is Ace so connected to everyone? Why can't that asshole just leave us alone? I hate him. He's such a dork. I can't even believe he's my father."

"Maybe he'll leave you guys alone after that mover guy tells him what you said. That was kind of harsh, but you know him better than I do. Maybe that's all he needs to stay away from you guys."

"Doubt it, but I hope so. If my dad shows up when Lisa is here, his ass is grass! Lisa hates him so much she'll kick his motherfucking butt. After what he did to her in the bowling alley, I think he's afraid of her." Jake looked at me and started to laugh. "Here's a news flash. Don't ever put anything past her. If she's pissed, it a free-for-all."

"You think she'll really do something like that?" I asked.

"Yeah, that crazy sister of mine will do just about anything, especially when she gets pissed. But, you know, Lisa and I have a good relationship. We look after each other because our parents are so weird. I mean, I love my mom, but she's sort of out there, you know? As for my dad, we were kinda close when I was small, but then he started traveling and then didn't have time for me. He wouldn't even bother to call us when he was gone. Now that I think about it, he never had much to do with Lisa, either. For the last few years, the three of us were happiest when he was gone."

Draining the last of his beer, Jake continued, "The last time that we had fun together as a family was about six or seven years ago. My cranky old gramps on my dad's side has an older, sixty-footer fishing boat that he keeps in the Marina Harbor. One weekend my dad took us on it for a boat ride. Surprisingly, we had a fantastic day, just the four of us. He took us out of Redondo and along the coast up to Marina del Rey, where we docked and had some great fish tacos for lunch. That was a fun day. Oh, well. He's a dick now."

We sat there in silence for a while, and once Jake got over longing for the past, he got mad again.

"Let's go see if the truck is gone. The movers should be done by now, and I want to tell Lisa what happened. I can't believe that fucker found us. I wish he wasn't my dad so I could kick his stupid ass."

We got up and headed out. After I had thrown the empty beer bottles deep into the trash can by the garage so nobody could find them, I grabbed Jake's arm, and shyly at first, wrapped my arms around him in a big bear hug. "Don't worry about that asshole. I'll be right behind you," I said into his ear. "I got your back."

He stood there with his arms at his side letting me squeeze him tight, but he relaxed almost immediately. In fact, he got so relaxed that after a minute or two he popped a boner and started to grind it into my cock. I let go of Jake and reached down and grabbed his hard dick through his pants.

"Let's go back inside and let me take care of this for you. But we've got to hurry," I said.

"Okay, but I don't know why you make me so horny. It's so weird. All I want is to keep getting sexy and naked with you."

"Same here, bud. Come on, let's lock ourselves in the bathroom."

We went in the pool house, Jake shutting and locking the slider behind us while I turned on the stereo. Janis Joplin was singing one of my favorite songs of hers, 'Ball 'n' Chain', a song written by the great Big Mama Thornton. I cranked it up as we headed into the bathroom. "That's one of my all-time favorite songs. I got to see them at this rock festival at the Rose Bowl last September. There were other bands and singers there, but they were the best. I think it was the first time they had a concert at the Rose Bowl, but I know it was one of the last times she played with Big Brother and the Holding Company before she ditched them to play on her own. It was wicked. All kinds of great bands."

"You lucky butt! I'd give almost anything to see her. Hey! Maybe next time she's in town, we can get tickets. That would be far out," Jake said.

"We will. Unbutton those jeans right now, mister, and pull out your cock," I demanded.

"Geez, getting a little forceful, are we? Just don't bite it off," he said as he pulled down his pants and underwear in one quick motion, his hard cock sticking straight out over his lightly haired balls.

"I would never do that," I laughed, "I was just being funny." I got on my knees in front of Jake while he leaned back against the sink, parting his legs as far as his pants would let him. Wetting my lips, I went down on his throbbing cock, licking up and down his shaft and humming on his fleshy shaft like it was a harmonica. I licked all around the engorged head, slurping up his

sweet juices, and squeezing his balls with my hand.

"Quit fooling around and suck me, boy. See how much of my cock you can get in your mouth," Jake pleaded.

"All righty, boss, here goes."

Taking a deep breath and opening my mouth up as wide as I could, I guided his hot cock down my throat, surprised that I could get two-thirds of it inside my mouth so easily. I bobbed my head up and down on his dick and tried to swirl my tongue around it at the same time. Remembering why they called this sucking, I wrapped my lips around my teeth and tried to suck him like a vacuum cleaner. I went at it pretty good, judging by the moans that Jake was making now.

Letting go of his balls and wrapping my fist around his hard shaft, I directed his cock straight out and into my waiting mouth. Still taking hard sucks on his shaft and breathing heavily through my nose, I was surprised at how easily I could get more and more of his dork into my throat. I continued to suck up and down on his teen dick, tasting his teen-boy treasure.

"Oh, yeah man. That's it. I'm almost there. That feels really, really good, Ry. Keep it going, man."

A dozen more sucks and I could feel his hard cock starting to throb, and I knew I was going to get that sweet reward that I had been looking forward to. I began to suck in earnest now, as Jake was so close because he was rocking back and forth and trying to shove his dick deeper and deeper into my waiting mouth.

All too soon I was filled with his hot white goo, five or six big squirts landing on the back of my throat. I pulled my stretched lips off his cock and swallowed all of his delicious seed, taking a quick look up to see his smiling happy face. Damn, that was good!

Jake wrapped his arms behind his head and squeezed his stomach tight while shaking a little bit with shivers of enjoyment. I asked him if he was still with us, "Earth to Jake. Come in, Jake."

"Oh man. That was fantastic. Your mouth was so warm, and it felt so good to blow my wad all over your tongue. Let me suck you off now."

"No, we don't have time. We can do that later. Pull up your pants. I don't want somebody coming out here looking for us."

"Okay, but you make me so horny. I'll do you next, all right? I just can't get enough of all of this hot boner action!"

"You got it, bud. Me too. Come on, let's go find Lisa."

Jake got dressed while I rinsed out my mouth because I didn't want to head outside smelling like jizz breath. I led Jake out and around the other side of the garage so we could look down the street to see if the moving truck was gone. Luckily, the coast was clear, and the big truck was long gone, so we walked down the street past my house and across the lawn toward Jake's house. Almost everything had been hauled inside, so we picked up the last couple of boxes and headed for the front door. The second we were about to go inside, Lisa came bouncing through the front door, her boobs straining her thin top and leading the way. And of course, Jordan was hot on her tail.

"There you are. Where were you guys? I need to talk to you," she said.

"What's up? We've been here all along," Jake lied. I'm sure he was trying to cover up what we were doing in the pool house.

"You're not going to believe this. Do you remember seeing that lanky, dorky-looking mover? The older one with the greasy ponytail? He told me that Dad says 'hi'. What a prick. How does he even know us? And does that mean Dad knows where we moved?"

"Yeah, he told me the same thing. I told him to tell Ace to fuck off. I guess we should let Mom know. What do you think?"

"Fuck!" she shouted. Then, turning around to make sure no one heard her, she looked down at Jordan and told him "You know you can't say fuck, right little man?"

"I know. My mom will kick the fuck out of me if I fucking say those fucking words."

"Fuck yeah. Me fucking too," I added, laughing.

"Let's wait on telling Mom. I don't think Ace will do anything. Let's hang on and see what happens," Jake said.

"Okay, but I don't like this. Not one bit," Lisa said.

"Guys, let's take the last of these boxes inside. Then maybe we can get out of here and find something fun to do," I said. "Hey, Lisa. Does your mom let you drive the microbus?"

"Yeah, why?"

"If Jake and I ride our bikes downtown, do you think you could pick us up later and bring us back up the hill?" I asked.

"Sure, I guess so," she said, trying to sound put out. Then, changing her tune said, "Actually, it's not a problem. I promised Jordy that we'd go to the record store to buy him some new 45's for helping me out. Right little man?"

"That's right. I want to get 'Sugar, Sugar' by the Archie's that they play on TV. Oh, oh, and maybe that new 'Little Green Apples' song."

"Oh, man. I think I'm gonna barf right here. How can you possibly like that kind of music?" Jake asked, looking cross-eyed at Jordy.

"I think it's cute. If my little man likes it, then it's good enough for me," Lisa said.

"Yeah! It's good. I can teach you the words if you want," Jordan said looking up at Jake.

"Okay, little man. Maybe you're right. I'll listen to it again, and maybe you can convince me."


"How about we do this," I said, looking at my watch. "It's almost noon. Jake and I are going to ride our bikes downtown, get some lunch and maybe go check out the high school. Let's meet up at Wiggy's Records about three. That should give you and Jordy plenty of time to paw through the bins. Jordy knows where it is downtown so he can show you how to get there."

"Cool. See you guys then," Lisa said, smiling for the first time today.

"Later, gators," Jake said. "Let's go get our bikes."

"All right. But let me go tell my mom or dad what's up first. I'll meet you out front in five."

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