Life in the Morning Wood Zone
by Biff Spork
Chapter 5
Later that evening I try to act normal while we eat supper but it doesn't seem to work.
"Are you okay?" says Mom.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"You just ate all the broccoli." She looks at the empty bowl.
"Oh…yeah…I've decided to become a vegan."
"Hey, Honey," says the Dickwad, "you better stock up on peas."
"So no meat?" says Mom quickly in order to forestall the snappy comeback I was preparing while looking into the distance.
"No animal products at all," I say giving up on snappiness and pushing my pork chop to the edge of the plate. I need to think about something else and being a vegan is good. "No eggs or chicken or fish or honey or anything that comes from an animal."
"You'll be going barefoot, too!" says the Dickwad. "No leather shoes. I'll pick you up some of those cool rubber sandals on my way home from work tomorrow." He chortles. "Organic rubber, of course. Unless you'd rather just go barefoot." More chortling.
I don't dignify this with a response.
Mom is worried about protein and that carries us through to the end of the meal. Nevada has been coaching me on veganism for so long I actually have a few facts about tofu and lentils and textured soy protein. When I can finally escape to my room I boot up my computer and check for messages. There's nothing so I throw myself down on my bed and stare at the ceiling wondering if this is what it's like to be brain-dead.
I jump up when I hear the bing-bong-bleep that signals an incoming message.
Cumster: Hey X you there?
Dickup: Yeah. Howzit?
Cumster: ok. You?
Dickup: ok but weird.
Cumster: You left yr bike here
Dickup: I forgot it
Cumster: R U angry ? Or what?
Dickup: No. Im ok. But we need to talk – tomorrow. Ok?
Cumster: I'll bring yr bike over – about 9? We cn go to the beach.
Dickup: Gr8 CU l8er.
Cumster: gnite
I grab a shower and hit the sack but sleep doesn't come. It's a little scary when I realize I'm not even horny. I put my hand on it and it perks up but somehow I just don't feel like it. WTF? I always feel like it ever since I first discovered it. Somehow I go to sleep because when I next open my eyes I can see it's morning. I don't know what happened in the night but I feel a little normal. I have a good stretch and enjoy Mr. Stiff poking up and rubbing against the sheet. He seems to have recovered his eagerness. I consider having a quickie but decide that since I am above average for the week I will put it off for later. I roll over to grab a few more snoozes.
In the middle of a really nice dream about something I can't quite grasp I hear this tremendous banging. It's just someone knocking on the front door, Nevada, of course. I throw some shorts on and bring him into the kitchen.
"Okay, you win," I say.
"Thank God!" laughs Nevada. "I was so worried. Uh, what did I win?"
"Last night, during supper, I informed the other residents of this house that I would no longer be partaking of the animicular substances."
"You're vegan?"
"Yup, and I'm starving. What on earth do vegans like me eat for breakfast?"
Nevada grabs a banana from the fruit bowl and shoves it into my hand. "Eat that now and we can go to my place where I'll make you the best breakfast you ever had."
So, we're racing along the tree-lined street while a cool breeze ripples our t-shirts and I look up into the patches of blue sky above and shout, "Oooooh fraaaaabjus daaaaay!" just dragging out the syllables for the fun of it.
Nevada pulls up beside me and mimics my dragged out shouting as we pedal like maniacs, "Whyyyyy aaaaare yooooooooou shououououououting?"
"I doooooon't knooooooow hoooow to sinnnnnnnng," I shout-sing. "Ooooooh fraaaaaabjus daaaaaay!"
"Calloooooo callaaaaay" he wails as we round the corner onto his street. We pound full tilt into his driveway, really going way too fast. Then, as though we had practised it for years we simultaneously slam on our brakes so our back tires swing around and we stop instantly as we lay the bikes down side by side. We head for the front door.
"God," says Nevada puffing a little, "We are so cool."
Nevada burrows into his pantry and the air thickens with bowls and spoons and measuring cups and raisins and oatmeal and other bottles and bits and nutritional advice and fifteen minutes later we are seated in their breakfast nook with big bowls of oatmeal in front of us.
"Porridge?" I say doubtfully.
"Don't talk. Eat."
It's fabulous, doesn't taste like any porridge I ever ate. "God, this is like dessert. What's in it? What's that weird, delicious taste."
"The magic ingredient, my boy, is cardamom. Oat milk adds its own creaminess but the main innovation is cardamom. I am the only person in the world who adds cardamom to oatmeal. You may visit your fine five star restaurants the world over but you will never find this on any menu. It's a unique and perfect breakfast for a virgin vegan like yourself. I honor your presence," he finishes and raises a heaping teaspoon in a grand salute to me before engulfing it.
When we're finished we sit back and look at each other for a minute. There's a big something in the air but I when I look at Nevada sitting there with a happy smile on his face it doesn't seem so important to me and he doesn't seem to want to talk about it either.
Finally Nevada says, "We've got the house to ourselves until this aft. Shall we retire to my quarters?"
So we're standing beside Nevada's king-size waterbed and I can feel my heart going pitipat. I start to launch into one of the many speeches I've been muttering to myself but Nevada puts his finger on my lips. Then he reaches down and grabs the bottom of my t-shirt and lifts it up and over my head and throws it away over his shoulder. Then he just stands there and looks at me. Suddenly I know what to do. I reach out and pull his t-shirt over his head as he raises his arms. Next he unfastens my shorts and drops them to the floor and I follow suit. Naked now we sit down on the edge of his bed. He lifts my foot and pulls my shoe off and then my sock. When our shoes and socks are gone we fall backwards onto the rumpled sheets and our arms reach out and circle each other. I close my eyes and merge into the smoothest warm creaminess as he folds around me. What a blessed feeling! Like I was dying and now I am saved, I was lost and now, finally, I am home. I feel him kissing my eyelids. He drapes a sheet over us and we lie quiet and entangled in each other's warmth for a few minutes.
Nevada stops nuzzling my neck and leans back. "I have been thinking about the next steps in our experimental exploration of otherness."
"Mmmhmm. I definitely need more information. What next?"
"Well, I thought that moment we just had where we clutched onto each other was sort of special, almost like there was some kind of energy flow between us, pulling us together."
"Mmmhmm. Like gravity or magnetism."
"Ah yes, precisely. I bet that's what they mean when they say 'animal magnetism'. Yes. So let's try this." He pushes me away and rolls over to the other side of the bed so we are not touching. Then he stretches out his arm. "Reach out and touch my fingers." When our fingertips are touching he says, "Now let's inch towards each other." And his fingers march up my arm and mine move past his wrist. We wriggle toward each other on our sides until we are nearly touching. "Hmm," he says. "Can you feel it?"
My whole body seems to be aching to reach out and contact his body. I nod vigorously.
"Come, then," he says and we clasp one another again, skin to skin from head to toe and I have that marvelous Christmas morning feeling again, that I just got all I ever wanted and something even more wonderful is about to happen.
"This is very nice," says Nevada into my ear. "Coming together is enhanced by being apart. C'mon, let's try it again," and he rolls away to the other side of the bed. We repeat the process and again I am flooded with pleasure and happiness to hold him close and feel his arms tighten around me. "You see," says Nevada, "Otherness! You can't get that feeling by yourself!"
I discover that my mouth fits perfectly into a warm hollow between his collar bone and his neck.
"You know," he says after a minute. "I've noticed that we are not the same. In fact, we are quite different. You, for instance have smaller nipples than I do and their hard little centers are just a little bit lighter in color. My nipples are much darker and a little bigger, with smaller softer centers."
"Our belly buttons are different too," I agree.
"So, I've been thinking it would be interesting and informative for me to examine your body closely, all of it. I mean, instead of just sneaking glances, I want to have your permission to stare closely at all of your parts and to touch them. If you don't mind?"
I'm thinking, "sneaking glances"? Nevada's been sneaking glances at me? At my body? And here I thought that sneaking glances was something only I did.
"Not at all," I say agreeably, "and maybe it would be useful if I examined you at the same time. If you don't mind."
For the next five minutes we paw and probe each other. I look closely at Nevada's chest and armpits, like mine completely hairless. Then he reverses his position on the bed and begins to finger my dick and balls. His new position brings his dick and balls close to my face so I can examine them also. I take the opportunity to gently roll down his foreskin. It is a little tighter than mine and the head of his penis has a different shape, more pointy and not so wide. He has a very firm hard-on – it's like an iron bar wrapped in satin. While I watch it bobs up and down with his heartbeat. There is not a single hair on his crotch and his legs are also smooth except for the faintest golden down. I turn him onto his belly and part his bum cheeks. I've never looked at anyone's asshole before and I am surprised by how nice it looks, a very clean perfect circle of darker brown skin, like an asterisk or some kind of sea animal. I sniff. WTF! It even smells nice, kind of warm and earthy.
He flips around again so we are head to head and we kiss and kiss and kiss, holding each other more tightly with each passing minute. As we writhe and rub against each other Nevada snakes his hand down between us and wraps it around both our dicks. He begins a slow stroking. I reach down and he releases his dick to my hand. It feels like a hot spike and his hand on my dick seems much hotter than my hand ever gets. We stroke each other together and I can tell I'm getting close.
On the very edge Nevada stops and again clasps both our dicks in his hand. A thread of pleasure starts winding its way up from deep inside me. My dick feels his hand and his dick as he slowly slides them up and down together just once. Then he squeezes them together and we hang in space on the brink. He gives one squeeze again and I feel an unbearable ooze flowing up through me and we lie perfectly still. Then suddenly we are bursting and quivering and spurting and kissing and moaning. I notice my legs are shakiing and jerking and my arms are clasping and reaching. I feel like I am melting into him, like the boundary between us is dissolving in sparkles of pleasure.
I don't know whether I pass out or faint or what, but I lose it – in the best way –and don't come to until I feel Nevada peeling himself away from me. As I swim to the surface I hear him turn on the shower in his bathroom. I throw the sheet back and look down at my crusted groin, then jump up to join him in the shower. As we towel off I say, "Nevada, we've got to talk about this…."
"Tyler, how long have we known each other?"
"About two years, ever since we met in grade six ."
"Okay, in all that time have you ever known me to lie to you or hurt you?"
"No, but…."
"And in all that time I have never known you to lie to me or hurt me. In fact, you've been the best friend anyone could have."
"Yes, but…."
"So listen to me now. Okay?" Our eyes lock together in silence.
"Okay," I say.
"We're in the middle of a fantastic experiment. I don't want to start analysing the results until we're finished. I don't want any of that talk-etty-talk-talk-talk we sometimes do to get in the way of the raw experience." He stops and looks at me for a few seconds. "I'm really happy we're doing this and I'm really happy to be doing this with you. I feel like it's a big thing and I think you do too. But there's not much left of what I imagined. Let's complete this, let's take it just a bit further before we talk about it. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Now," he says grinning, "Let's see what two vegans can find for lunch."
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