Sense of Doubt

by William King

Chapter 10


Ryan was standing at the bus stop. A bus had just pulled away, our bus.

"Were you waiting for me?" I asked him.

He smiled, but made no reply. We stood there in silence, until I happened to glance up at him. At the same moment he stole a look at me. He was still smiling. God, he was cute, what a gorgeous guy. An emotional reaction which made my body tingle and sort of embarrassed me. Other kids were arriving, pushing and jostling as another bus appeared. I rose above it all and so did Ryan. We let the crowd push past us before climbing the stairs and taking aisle seats opposite each other.

Ryan did not, could not, stare out of the window, but it seemed to me the smile hadn't left him. We didn't say much.

"Glad it's the weekend," I said.

"Best day, Friday," he replied.

"You got any plans?"

"I think I might have."

When I got up for my stop, Ryan stood up. I looked at him with a kind of quizzical expression.

"You invited me, remember?"

I laughed, and he got it. I was pulling his leg. Walking up the road to my house I wondered if anyone would be home. Mum and dad had hardly been around all week, spending a lot of time with my cousins because my aunt was in hospital.

Turning the key in the lock, I pushed open the front door. "Welcome to my humble abode," I grinned. "Anyone home!" I shouted, as we stepped over the threshold. There was no reply.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked Ryan.

"There's definitely no one home?" He looked at me a little oddly.

"Definitely," I said.

He took me completely by surprise as he pushed me back against the wall at the bottom of the stairs. I let my bag drop to the floor and heard his bag follow it. He had me pinned there, both his hands pushing against my shoulders. Leaning his head, he moved towards me and our lips touched. I felt the intensity and the pressure as his tongue pushing against my lips until I opened my mouth and suddenly we were engaged in a passionate kiss. When finally he relented and moved back, I was flushed and excited.

"I've always wanted to kiss you," Ryan was smiling softly, but looking a little worried.

I stared at him, shocked I suppose. He stepped back, probably thinking he'd overdone it. I moved forward, not about to let him go, and grabbed him around the waist, pulling our bodies together. I felt him relax. I also felt something else and he must have too.

"Let's go upstairs," I looked into his eyes.

We bounded up the stairs and into my bedroom. I closed and locked the door. As the key clicked, his hands were on my jacket, pulling it off. There followed an unorchestrated and rather chaotic removing of clothes, which slowed in pace only for shoes, socks, and trousers.

Like two competitors we stood facing each other dressed only in that one last item of clothing. One which hid nothing at all, because it was clear Ryan was as hard as I was. Embracing, wrapping arms around each other we hugged and kissed. Hands sliding over bodies, touching skin, stroking, feeling.

When we paused a moment, Ryan knelt down on the floor, reached towards me and gripped my underpants. He pulled them down, manoeuvring the elastic over my erection. I stepped out of them and thought he was going to suck my cock. The idea made it respond by jerking up and a tiny pearl of liquid glistened on the tip. Although it was inches from those perfect lips, he ignored it, and stood up. Instead his right hand gently cupped my balls and his fingers started playing across them. I moved my legs apart to allow him the freedom to touch and stroke them. Then he moved behind me and once more touched my balls. The sensation of his fingers stroking like feathers made me spread my legs wider and lean forward.

One idea was forming in my head. I wanted him to have me. A long time ago I'd refused to have sex with him, refused to suck him off, but now was different. However, he stopped, turned me around, and we faced each other.

"I would really love to make love with you," he said.

"Me too," I gasped.

"But are you sure no one will come home?"

"Okay, let's cool it a moment. I'll go check downstairs. Stay here."

I pulled my pants on and skipped downstairs, leaving the almost naked teen god in my bedroom. There was a note on the kitchen table and some money. "Get yourselves a takeaway. We won't be home until late. Mum & Dad xx"

I went to the fridge and pulled out a carton of juice, at the same time my phone beeped. There was a message from Jake. I ignored it for now, took a swig of juice and raced back upstairs.

"The folks are out till late. They left money to get something to eat."

"What about Michael?"

"He's out somewhere," I told him, not really knowing if he would come back or not.

Ryan was pacing around my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him, taking in every aspect, every curve and shape of his body. He turned looked down at me and smiled broadly. He moved closer, bent forward and kissed me, moved back and reached once more for my pants. I lay back and let him pull them off and discard them. My ever proud cock leaping to attention and swaying free in the air.

He seemed to study me a moment. "I know what you want."

I wondered. He was guessing, playing macho, there was more to Ryan than the face he showed the world. I looked up at him, he showed a strange mixture of rampant sexuality, but edged with a vulnerability. It was almost as if his desire forced his hand and pushed him to overcome that slight reticence, pushed him to act.

I sat up and reached forward to his waist. He stepped towards me and let me take my turn in pulling down his underpants and revealing the boy's naked splendour. My eyes were fixed on his erection. Sure, I had seen Ryan naked before, but not like this. Now I took the time to take in his body, and the erection was indeed a strong well endowed example of manhood.

He stood in front of me, not moving, as I lent in and closed my lips around his beautiful, hard cock. I tasted him, gliding the tip of my tongue around the head. Then I slowly took in more of him as I slid my lips along his shaft. Ryan gasped, moved, arching his back a little. I looked up into his eyes and he gripped my shoulders with both hands.

I took my time. I was not about to rush this moment.

Finally, I pulled back and ducked under him to gently tease his balls with my tongue. Then I stood up and we stared at each other before kissing, our tongues wrestling each other, darting back and forth.

"You know what I want to do?" Ryan asked, as we both came up for air.

That question, to which I knew the answer, sent a tingling shockwave through me and my cock jumped up.

"Just a minute," I replied and moved to my little desk, opening the drawer and found what I was looking for. I smiled and handed the small tube to Ryan. Once again we were face to face. He flipped up the top, squeezed the tube, and liberally anointed his manhood. As I watched his actions my tongue slid over my bottom lip which curled inside my mouth. I let him turn me around and I bent forward, leaning with my palms flat on the desk.

I could feel him close behind me, his breath on my neck made the tiny hairs prickle . His cock pushed into me. I gasped a deep breath and bent down lower resting my elbows on the desk and spreading my legs. His hands gripped my hips as he entered me, stopping a brief instant, before pushing right into me.

I made some weird unintelligible sound as I tried to relax and adjust. Ryan wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight, his body pressing against mine.

"Okay?" He whispered.

I turned my head slightly. "Go easy."

He pulled backwards slowly, halted, then pushed inside. I was halfway between discomfort and ecstasy, it was the latter t h at took over. Ryan held onto my hips again. I had my head down on the desk. He started a slow movement in and out, not too deep, not too fast. My cock was dribbling all over the floor. Ryan leant in and sucked my neck, one hand grabbing my hair and pulling my head back. He b uried himself completely inside me as I gasped, lost in a kind of delirium of sexual frenzy, as I think he was. Because he began pounding into me, thrusting in and out. I could feel the energy building and the heat.

He almost wailed a siren' s cry as he ejaculated. I felt his twitching cock and it sent me over the top. I pumped out my own eruption onto the floor, my arse contracting with each squirt, gripping his large manhood. He stayed perfectly still until I'd finished, then slowly he withdrew, popping out of me. I felt both elated and empty at the same time. The thought crossed my mind that whatever happened, this was something I would always remember.

We cleaned up and lay down together, side by side, still naked, on the bed. We didn't talk for a while. Ryan ran his fingers through my hair and I leant over and kissed him softly on the lips, his nose, and his shoulder. I let my hands trace patterns on his skin. Across his taut stomach, around his chest and nipples.

He looked up into my eyes. "That was the best," he said, smiling.

There was a sparkle in his eyes and I knew in that instant he was telling the absolute truth.

I chuckled to myself, pleased by his reaction and those words.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

My fingers played around his now flaccid cock. "You really fucked me good," I grinned.

He leant in and kissed me strongly. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

That was cute. He genuinely was concerned.

"No, you didn't hurt me, but that's some monster you pack." I gave him a little squeeze.

We stayed like that, lying next to each other, chatting a little about this and that . A bout the past, school, the future, relationships, and even music. We chatted about everything and nothing. He didn't want to get up and neither did I.

At some point I'd heard my phone and when I eventually picked it up, there was a message from Michael saying he was sleeping over at Max's. I asked Ryan if he wanted to stay and eat. So we ordered a pizza.

I had no idea where, if anywhere all this was going. The only thing I could say for sure, was that there was something, I don't know what, but definitely something between us. When it got late, and we'd eaten, Ryan stood up and looked at me. I'd already told him we had the house to ourselves, I wanted to ask him to stay, but I wasn't at all sure if I should. Maybe, I thought, that was rushing it, but what we had just done was kind of rushing things, I suppose, if this was going to be anything more than just sex.

He looked shy and maybe embarrassed. "Alex," he spoke softly. "If... only..."

It was a chance, a hazard, and a gamble. "Stay," I said, and he grinned.

Then he looked down. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I... want you to."

"I do too."

We watched the tele together, curled up on the sofa. And we showered and went to bed together. The next morning we woke up together and had breakfast together. Neither Ryan nor I seemed at all inclined to part, but finally he told me he had some things to do and needed to go home, but he said he could come back later. I explained Michael would probably be home and maybe my parents as well, but that didn't appear to phase him.

"We could go out. Do something," he suggested.

We agreed to meet later. What the hell happened between us, what would happen, I didn't know, but I knew we both felt the same.

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