The Nerd, The Jock, and the Bully
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 11
Anxiety, anger, fear, safety.
All these emotions play inside my head while I stare at the school doors. Battling for control of my body. Anxiety for what might happen if I decide not to chicken out and face Darryl head on. Or more like face to his chest.
Don't even get me started on anger. For the things that asshole did to me. Now that I can think clearly, he deserves more than just a bitch slap and a knee to the nuts. Although I don't know what exactly.
It's not like I'm an expert at punishing people. I don't have a dungeon with tools and shit. Okay, that's taking it too far. The main part is I don't know what would justify what he did.
On to the next emotion. Fear! An emotion that I do not like at all. Being fearful means to acknowledge that someone is superior. I will die before I do that. Yet, I still cannot stop it from coming out.
I'm afraid of everything now. Isaac losing his spot on the football team. For Melissa. But especially for what's to come when I open those doors.
Finally, safety. It's something I have never felt outside of my house. But here, sitting in this car with a boy I would have never dreamed I could have, brings nothing but safety to me.
He makes me feel like I can take on this day if he stands next to me. I know that he won't be there physically when this all unravels. He has his own life. But the fact that if everyone stands against me, I have this feeling that he'll stand with me. Protect me. Make me feel safe.
So yes, I'm an emotional wreck right now, but I have to be strong.
I look over at him and he's staring right back at me. Lord knows for how long.
"We can leave right now if you want," he said with a small smile.
"And deny you the chance in the spotlight for wrecking the badass Darryl's face. I'm not that cruel," I said with a chuckle.
"Be serious. I don't care about anything but you right now," he said, stroking my cheek the same way as last time.
"You shouldn't worry about me. I'm a grown boy, and besides, he's the one that attacked me, so he's the one quaking in his shoes, not me," I said, waving my hands like a crazy person.
"Don't lie to me, Deacon," he said, his voice strong.
That just did something to my insides that I like. A lot.
"Okay… I'm a little bit scared. Can you blame me? I mean, the guy gets away with pretty much anything he does. He could break your arm and yet you're somehow to blame," I said sadly.
"He broke your arm?" he said angrily.
"What? No! It's hypothetical," I said quickly.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened to the extent that I could see the veins showing on his hands, and his muscles tensed against his shirt.
"He might not have broken your arm, but he still hurt you. And I wasn't there," he said softly.
The sincerity in his voice was enough to tug at my heart strings and remind me of why I feel the way I do about him.
"Don't blame yourself for something you had no control over, Isaac. What we do have control of is now. I'm here with you, so let's make the most of it," I said, touching his cheek with my hand.
I only met him a couple of weeks ago, but it feels like I've known him forever. I don't know how he managed to do this to me.
"You're right. Darryl isn't going to touch you anymore, because I'm in control now," he said, a grin plastered on his face, staring at me.
There was excitement in his voice, full of the promise of what's to come. I had the feeling I was going to like it. A lot.
"Come on, babe, let's get this day over with so I can get to the fun part," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.
My cheeks lit up like the fourth of July.
We got out of the car and held hands.
We walked into the hallway, full of bustling students trying to get to their lockers or their first class. It was like a normal day. So far, so good.
"You want me to walk you to class?" he asked when we stopped at a cross hallway.
"No, I'm fine. I think I can make it to my locker and my first class safely," I said with a smile.
"You sure?" he asks, rubbing his hand up and down my arm, sending shockwaves through my body, and going straight… there!
"Eh… what? Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."
I clear my throat. His grin tells me that he knows exactly what he's doing to me. He glances down and chuckles for a second.
"Okay, see you at lunch," he said, before pecking me on the cheek.
In front of everyone! Like it's the most normal thing ever.
While he walks down the hallway with his usual swagger, I notice heads turning to look at him. I also notice some of those heads turning back to look at me. Just with hatred this time.
That makes me smirk.
I twirl around with a bit more confidence, knowing that all of that fine specimen of boyhood is mine. As I make my way towards my locker, the person I most wanted to avoid is walking my way.
Darryl has his usual lackeys behind him, and he's sporting some nasty bruises on his eye, jaw, and various other places on his face. My heart starts beating faster, but not for a good reason.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and exhale, while walking, my head held high and staring straight ahead. If he's going to do anything to me, I won't show any fear. I'll die before I give in to this sadistic asshole.
I expect him to start throwing punches at me. Start mocking me, causing the whole school to laugh at me. But none of that happens.
He just walks past me like I'm not even there. His lackeys look at me and talk shit, but he just ignores me completely, and keeps on walking.
That surprises the hell out of me. He's never done that before. Every chance he had he would torment me, whether at school or away from school. I don't know how I managed to keep it a secret from my mom.
I took this opportunity and rushed towards my locker, and retrieving my books. I don't look back and head straight to my first class.
I feel nothing but relief wash over me when I enter that room. The class room is already packed. I'm usually early, so I just avoid everyone and head to the last seat at the back.
Lunch break finally came and I sat with Isaac. More like I sat and he intruded. Though I liked that he intruded.
It was the second to last period and one of the few classes I have with Darryl. The worst class of my life and the one he took full advantage of. P.E. class!
As usual, the locker room is filled with guys joking around with each other. The usual dirty jokes and other crap like that. Boys will be boys I suppose. I hate it!
Today was not going to be the same. I walked into the locker room and everyone fell silent, and stared at me. Jocks, scrawny kids and everyone in between. All staring at me. My heart speeds up and I panic, but I'm not going to show any fear. Not now, not ever.
I walk past all of them and make it to my locker at the back of the room. News must have spread about mine and Isaac's kiss in the hallway earlier this morning. I release the breath I've been holding.
I felt exhausted just from walking from the door to my locker. I lay my head against my locker and after a few seconds, voices start to go back up and everyone resumes talking about whatever they had been talking about before I entered.
I start to undress and before I know it, I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I whip my head around and Darryl is standing behind me. I want to scream at him, but he puts his hand over my mouth.
"Keep quiet!" he hisses through clenched teeth.
I wait with wide eyes as I hear the locker room voices start to fade as people leave. This starts to make me worry.
"Look, I'm going to take my hand away, but please promise me that you won't run," he said with pleading eyes.
I nod.
He let's go.
I run.
"Deacon."
He grabs my arm before I can escape and pulls me back against his chest, still keeping his arms strongly around me to keep me trapped.
This would have been pleasurable had it been with someone else that I didn't completely despise.
"Let me go!" I said, kicking and thrashing.
Nothing seems to work. I start to panic and flashes of the last time he pinned me goes through my mind. But the words he says next stop me completely.
"I just wanted to apologize, okay," he said, breathing heavily.
I stood there in his arms, totally and utterly shocked. Out of all the scenarios I had going on in my head, this wasn't something I was expecting.
"I'm going to let you go, okay. Please don't run this time. I'd hate to have to pin you down and force you to listen to me. Well, that's a bad idea. I'll probably get hard," he said seriously.
"What the fuck! Did you seriously just say that? Let me go!"
He releases me and I take a few steps back while facing him.
"I was trying to lighten the mood. Jesus! Relax," he said irritably.
"Yeah, that's a good idea, since you've already forced your tongue down my throat, and have beat the shit out of me since I started high school. Of course we can start making jokes now. You fucking asshole," I said, shouting the last part.
"Jesus! Okay look, that was stupid. I'm sorry. I just wanted to apologize for what I did," he said, remorse on his face.
"You just apologized," I said with a deadpan expression.
"Well… wait, no that was for the joke. I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I did to you at the party and for all the shit I put you through," he said, looking down. "You didn't deserve to get my anger when my life was messed up," he said, looking me in the eyes.
The locker room became silent again while he waited for my answer.
"Okay," I whisper.
"Okay?" he asks, unsure.
"Okay, I forgive you," I said more confidently.
"Why? I did awful things to you. How can you just forgive me so quickly?" he asked, looking truly baffled.
"Why would I not? The other option would be to keep all this in my chest, all the hatred and malice towards you. That's too tiring. I'm done with hating. I'm not going to put myself through hating someone that wants to better himself. Then I would end up hating myself, so I forgive you," I said sincerely.
"Fuck!" he yells, kicking a nearby trash can.
"So, I take it you wanted me to hate you?" I said seriously.
"What? No! I never wanted that. It's just that you're being …"
"I'm being what?"
"You're being you" he said with a defeated sigh.
"Why is that a problem?" I ask, truly confused.
"Not for you, but for me. it makes it harder for me to let go," he said with a sad smile.
That freezes me on the spot. My breath hitches and I'm once again speechless. Something that I thought only Isaac was capable of.
He walks past me and heads towards the door. I hear it open and close, yet I remain rooted in my position, the pure shock overtaking my movements and keeping me still as a tree.
One question keeps replaying in my head like a broken record.
"What did he mean?" I whisper to the empty locker room.
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