We'll Figure It Out

by Victor Thomas

June-August 2009


School has been out for two weeks now and I'm looking forward to a fun time this summer with my friend Nikolas. My family just moved here to Chouteau from Norfolk Virginia where my father had been stationed in the navy for the last six years. He just retired as a Senior Chief Petty Officer, but we stayed in Norfolk so I could finish my first year of High School. I'll be a sophomore at Chouteau High School at the end of August.

My friend Nikolas just moved here as well. His father and my father had both lived here in Chouteau as boys and had both joined the navy as soon as they graduated high school back in 1988. They had managed to get stationed together on their last tour, on the USS Enterprise, an aircraft carrier home ported in Norfolk.

Niko and I have known each other since we were little, but only for the last two years have we been friends, only because we were usually living in different parts of the country, or world, depending on where our father's had gotten stationed. Him and I have been going to the same school and living in the same navy housing there at the main base in Norfolk. Now we're both living here in Chouteau, for good this time.

Both our fathers have been best friends since they were in school and are now planning on starting some sort of computer and electronic business together, using all their training they learned while in the navy.

I really had no friends back in Norfolk, other than Niko. He and I hang out every chance we get, almost every day now that summer is finally here. He is so fucking hot it's unreal. His mother is Filipino and his father is white, which makes for a hell of a combination, I think. I've kind of had the hots for him for the last couple of years, ever since I figured out that I was gay.

Niko was six feet one and weighted one hundred seventy pounds. His smile was magnetic. He has really grown and filled out a lot in the last two years, and he's in remarkable shape from running and working out every day. Quite a change from the puny little boy I first met and fell in love with.

Most of my classmates, hell most people in general would react very negatively if they found out my little secret. I don't dare even tell Niko because he's my only real friend, and I don't want to lose him as well. And I damn sure don't want my parents to find out, especially my father. He would absolutely fucking freak if he knew his youngest son was gay.

I've got an older brother named Josh, who just graduated high school in May, and an older sister named Tara, who's a year older than me. I'm the youngest in the family. My father can be a hard ass at times, but he's never once abused me or anything like that. I do get my butt whipped on occasion, but only when I need it, neither me or my brother or sister have ever been hit or anything like that. I know some of my former classmates were always getting hit and things like that at home, coming to school with bruises or an occasional black eye, but never us. I guess we just got extremely fortunate in the parent department. My mother is somewhat religious, but she's not one of those bible thumpers like I've seen before. Some of those people are just plain nuts if you ask me.


I'm finally settled here in bumfuck Kansas, otherwise known as Chouteau. This is a boring little town in a boring state, but I'm actually looking forward to living here. It will definitely be a big change from Norfolk where I just moved from.

I've lived in several different states during my life and even two foreign countries, the Philippines, which is where I was born, right in the Subic Bay Naval Hospital, and Sigonella Sicily. My mother is Filipino, and my father is white, which makes me half Filipino and half white. That's not unusual for military families, but here in the Midwest it throws a lot of people for a loop sometimes.

A lot of girls seem to like it; they say I have that exotic look that really makes me look hot. I don't know about that, but they're probably wasting their time with me.

My father just retired from the U.S. Navy a few months ago and we moved here to Chouteau right after my younger sister Nicole, or Nikki as we call her, and I finished school. She's thirteen, which makes me the oldest.

My friend Corey and his family just moved here as well. Both our fathers are retired Senior Chief Petty Officers and plan on starting some sort of electronics business here soon. That should be fun, I really enjoy that sort of stuff and I'm good at math and science. I even studied computers in school so I may study that when I go to college. A lot of my classmates laugh at me behind my back and call me a geek, but fuck them. In a few years I'll be rich and they'll be working for me, and then I can laugh at them.

I'm also a huge Star Trek geek and he is as well. I don't know who's the bigger fan, him or I. I know every episode by heart, but then he does as well. I have a small collection of Star Trek related items such as books, posters, figures, blueprints, models, etc., and am always on the lookout for more. About a month ago we both went and saw the latest Star Trek movie, staring new actors as younger members of the original crew. I actually like Deep Space Nine the best, followed by the Next Generation , the Original Series , Enterprise, and then Voyager in that order. I have most of them on DVD now. Here in another month we are both going to a big convention down in Tulsa, right before school starts again at the end of August.

Him and I have so much in common it seems like, which is why I think we're best friends. We both liked rock music, but he liked country too and I couldn't stand the stuff. I liked some metal and he couldn't stand it.

We both had zero interest in sports. Lots of our favorite foods were the same. Both of us had fall birthdays, and we both loved to read. We both loved mysteries and science fiction, as well as general fiction. Here lately I have started reading some gay fiction as well. I had accidently found a couple of books back in Norfolk, and had been hooked ever since. We even liked the same types of movies and TV shows, comedies, action, and of course science fiction, especially all things Star Trek .

Him and I watch all the Star Trek movies and the different series, as well as all the Star Wars movies on DVD on a regular basis, and we both like to watch old science fiction movies on TV every chance we get. A real science fiction geek. But as Mr. Spock said in the episode 'This Side of Paradise' "I am what I am." I can't help it sometimes.

Our fathers were friends when they were boys living here in Chouteau, and I guess we're carrying on the family tradition. We do everything together, go to movies, and go to the comic stores in Norfolk and Virginia Beach. We need to find one here now, maybe in Joplin or Tulsa, the only decent size cities within reasonable driving distance.

I stay at his house, he stays at mine. We're inseparable it seems sometimes. All that would end, however, if he ever guessed my secret. He would probably hate me if he found out I was gay and wanted to be with him. He would likely be disgusted, and might even try beating me up. Until I figure this whole thing out it's probably best not to say anything, and even after I do it's probably best not to say or do anything. Friendships have ended for a lot less than this.

We had just moved here a week earlier and were still unpacking everything that the moving company had delivered three days ago. Corey and I were out and about, and when I got home later that night my mom and dad called me into the living room.

"Is there something you want to tell us, Niko?" my mom asked me.

I thought no nothing I want to tell you, nothing that I could think of.

"Are you sure there's nothing you need to tell us?" she said as she reached over and picked up a stack of magazines lying next to the couch.

She stared at the cover of the first magazine in the stack that sat on her lap. It was the latest issue of Pop Star . There was a picture of a teenage boy, a very pretty teenage boy, the same age as me. The boy was fully dressed and surrounded by a heart silhouette.

She set it aside. But the next magazine was just like the one before it, just like the one after it, just like they all were, except for a couple of them. They were all various teen magazines, all featuring cute boys. 'Win a dream date with Austin' one of them said, showing a very hot, blond, shirtless boy.

She started her review over again with the first magazine, and carefully inspected each in turn, one by one, until she came to the last two, the latest issues of All Boy magazine, which featured boys completely naked, and completely hard.

She finished, patted the pile into a neat tidy stack and started over yet again.

"Are you gay, Niko?" my dad asked.

Oh shit, I thought, I'm busted. How embarrassing to be caught with something like this. I thought I had hidden the magazines in a good place, but obviously not good enough.

I'm sure my face was as red as could be. I just sat there for several minutes and tears began to roll down my cheeks as I sat there and cried. I had dreaded this day for the last year, but the time was finally here.

"Since you found the magazines, you obviously already know that I am," I said.

"Why Niko? Is this some sort of rebellion or something to piss your mother and me off?" my dad asked me as I sat there in the chair, looking at them.

"It has nothing to do with you guys. I'm gay that's all," I said.

My dad glared at me, then looked at my mom.

"This is unfuckingbelievable. My son gay, a fucking faggot. Goddamnit."

"Nikolas, please," my mother said. "Calm down. We've both known this was coming for several months now."

"I know Margaret, but I was hoping we were wrong. Are you sure this isn't just a phase you're going through, Niko? Maybe in time you'll change."

I knew my dad really didn't believe that, he was smarter than that, or at least I thought he was.

"Sorry dad," I said, tears in my eyes. "I sometimes wish I could change, but I can't. I'm gay. I don't like it any more than you do, but it's what I am."

Finally, he started to calm down a little.

"I know son, and I'm sorry I yelled at you. Your mother and I have suspected for several months now that you were probably gay, but we were hoping we were wrong."

"We've both done a lot of research and reading on the internet," my mother said, "and we realize that being gay is not something you have any control over, Niko. It's perfectly natural for you."

Finally, he walked over, and at first, I thought he was going to hit me or start screaming and yelling again, but he did something totally unexpected. He grabbed me and hugged me tight, and my mom stood up and did the same. All this worrying I had been doing seemed to be for nothing I thought, as I continued hugging them.

"You'll have to give us a while, Son," he continued. "We love you, and always will, but it's going to take some time for me to completely understand. But don't worry, nothing will change between us. You'll always be my son, and I'll always be proud of you. Don't ever let this come between us. If you ever have any problems, I want you to come to me like you always have."

"We love you, dear," my mother said. "Nothing will ever change how we feel about you, honey."

"I don't really understand what being gay is all about, Son," my father said, "but please, if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."

Damn, my worst nightmare had turned out to not be nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. It was still embarrassing, sitting there talking about being gay to my parents, especially the way they had found out, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. My parents still loved me and would help me anyway they could.

"How did you know, mom?" I asked.

"A mother always knows, honey," she replied.

"It was just a lot of little clues," my father said.

They told me they had suspected for the last year but had just never said anything, figuring I would tell them when I thought the time was right.

Later that night, I was heading up to my room to go to bed, when I ran into my mother again. The worried expression from earlier had returned to her face. Obviously, she still wasn't comfortable with me being gay.

"You should get some sleep, honey," she said.

I stayed where I was.

"I'm still me, you know. Nothing has changed. I just like guys rather than girls."

"It's not that," she said, pressing her lips together.

"What then?"

She took a deep breath.

"I worry," she said. "That's a mother's job, but now I worry even more. Being gay is a big deal to a lot of people. I'm concerned about you getting hurt. All it takes is one stupid person…"

She shook her head, unable to continue.

"I'll be careful," I said. "I promise."

"I also think about the sort of life you'll have. I always pictured you with a wife and children. I can let go of that, but I want you to have someone."

"You and me both," I murmured.

"Do you think it's possible?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. "At least I hope so."

"Good," she said. "Life can be hard, but every burden is easier to bear with someone at your side. That's what I want for my baby. Someone to watch out for him."

Before I could respond, she wrapped me in her arms. She kissed my cheeks, then my forehead, before wishing me sweet dreams. When I was alone again, I went to my room and sat on the edge of my bed for several minutes.

Then I got up, got undressed, flopped over onto my side and allowed myself to dream.


Sometimes, I hate being gay and would give anything to be able to change, but I'm smart enough to know that I can't, so I'm learning to deal with it. Like I said before, I'm not confused or anything like that. I know exactly who I am and so I'm trying to make the best of it.

You're probably wondering how a fifteen year old boy could possibly know he's gay. Well, I'm not some naïve Midwestern farm boy who hasn't got a clue. I've lived in big cities like San Diego and Norfolk, and down in Jacksonville, and even in Japan for a couple of years when my father was stationed at Yokosuka Naval Base, near Tokyo. And like I said, I like to read and know what's going on.

I've known since grade school that I liked looking at other boys but within the last two years I've really started having feelings down below for other boys, especially when we're in gym class and I see them naked and semi naked. And Niko and I liked to go to the beach there in Virginia and I liked looking at the older high school and college boys.

We've also been to the beach here at Grand Lake down in Grove Oklahoma a couple of times, if you want to call it that, and there are a few nice looking ones here as well. I don't really know anyone yet, but I will once school starts back in a couple of months.

Niko was gorgeous; there were no two ways about that. I could fall for him if I let myself. But to what ends? To always be my best friend? Somehow I knew my feelings for Niko would be much more, given half a chance. And what were the odds that his feelings would ever progress to that point?

I imagined him at night when I jerked off. Oh, what I wanted to do with that boy. I could practically feel that nicely muscled body, moving over my…

I especially like the athletic boys, the baseball players, football players, wrestlers and all that. But I don't particularly like sports that much. I've never been on any team, and never had any real desire to play. My father tried to get me to play baseball during the summers, but I just don't get the whole thing. I mean what's the point? I don't mind watching, but just don't care to play. I know my father is disappointed in me, but he's never said anything.

My brother is just the opposite. He played every sport there was in high school and he's the stereotypical dumb jock. I'm the one with the brains in the family, but all that does is make me an outcast. I had no real friends at my last school, other than Niko, and I likely won't here either. But what can I do? "I am what I am," as Spock said.


Corey and I live about a half mile apart, about three miles outside Chouteau. My father bought a big two-story farm house, on about five acres of land. He's not interested in farming; he just wanted to live in the country. We're surrounded on three sides by corn, wheat and soybean fields, and behind the house there's about a hundred acres with cattle, and a pond toward the middle of the pasture. Old man Williams owns all that, along with his son and they come by here on occasion.

Let me tell you, it's going to take some getting used to, living in the country, your nearest neighbor a half mile away. It's so peaceful and quiet most of the time, and boring as hell after living in cities most of my life. But I like it so far. Corey and I have been exploring a little bit and we're becoming better friends all the time. In fact, I just spent the night at his house a few days ago and he's stayed here a couple of times as well. Just like back in Norfolk.

I've been wondering about him for the last year. Could he possibly be gay? I never would have thought so a few months ago, but a lot of little things are starting to come together that make me think he might be. I've seen him looking at me a few times, especially when we're by ourselves, and I noticed him looking at the other boys when we were back in Norfolk, when he thought no one would notice. I was looking as well, of course, which is probably why I noticed him. Damn, wouldn't that be wild if he was, and he and I could get together.


I kind of like living out in the country. It's sure a big change from the big city, let me tell you. Niko lives about a half a mile down the road and he's my nearest neighbor. Old man Ballard finally retired from farming and sold his farm. My parents bought the house, a big old two-story house sitting on about three acres. The Summers' bought and work the rest of land.

It's boring out here most of the time, but Niko and I have a lot of fun exploring the countryside. We walk through the woods and the fields of corn, soybeans and wheat that surround both our houses. We've gone swimming a couple of times in a creek that runs through the woods near my house, and even in the pond over near his house.

I'm seriously getting more and more turned on by him every time I see him, especially when we're swimming. He's got a nice body for a fifteen year old, not as nice as some of the older high school and college boys, but still nice. He has definitely improved with age and will only get better; I have no doubt about that. All that running and working out has done amazing things to him, and me as well, since we both do it together.

He was indeed beautiful. His black hair framed an exquisite light olive colored face. His black almond shaped eyes were like pools of liquid oil, ever changing, yet deep and mysterious. His lips were full and sensuous with a reddish tinge. His nose was upturned and somewhat pointed. His mixed race heritage made him exceptionally hot in my opinion.

It's been all I can do sometimes not to grab him and kiss him, but I restrain myself. It wouldn't do to ruin my friendship over something like that, although I've been thinking for over a year now, that he might actually enjoy it as much as I would.

I don't know for a fact that he is gay, but I've got a feeling he might be, at least maybe curious if nothing else. I've seen him looking at me a few times, especially when I have my shirt off, or at night when I'm undressing to go to sleep. Of course, I'm looking at him as well, but I can't seem to help myself.

I don't really know what I would do if he was gay, but it would be fun to figure it out with him. I just have some vague notion of getting naked with him and playing around. I know what a blow job is, and I think I would like to try it with him, giving him one that is. I'm not sure if I would or not given the opportunity. Oh well, it'll probably never happen anyway so why think about it. Because it sounds like fun, that's why.


I packed a picnic lunch while Corey sat at the table and talked with me. I stuffed sandwiches, drinks, cookies and potato chips into my backpack, everything I could think of that we might want.

He followed me as we took off. The wide-open fields opened up in front of us as we walked down a narrow lane between a corn field on the right and a soybean field on the left. Him and I walked side by side as the hot sun beat down upon us. The sun was baking us.

I stopped and pulled off my shirt. It was already becoming damp with sweat. He did the same. He had a smooth well-proportioned torso. His broad shoulders tapered down to a slim waist, and there wasn't an ounce of fat on him. His pecs swelled with just the right amount of muscle, and I noted, the thin trail of hair just below his ridged abs that led into his jeans. My breath came a little harder and I felt myself getting the same feeling I always got around him. The image of his well-muscled chest and small brown nipples was firmly etched in my mind. I screwed my eyes shut for a moment, as if I could squeeze out the memory. My hand trembled slightly at my failure.

Him and I walked all around the countryside. The soybeans were starting to grow, and before you knew it, it would be time for harvest. The wheat fields were like a sea of gold, blowing in the slight breeze. We walked between corn fields, with the tall green stalks rising above our heads, hiding us from view. In just a few weeks all the land would be cleared of crops, flat as far as the eye could see. But today we could see only a few feet through the corn stalks as we wondered through the fields. It was as if we were picking our way through a giant maze.

We walked for nearly two hours, just talking and enjoying each other's company. My eyes kept drifting over his well-formed body. His naked chest seemed to draw my eyes involuntarily. His soft, yet masculine voice, and friendly laugh filled me with happiness and contentment. I was at peace when I was with him. I'd never experienced a friendship like I had with Corey. No other friend had meant so much to me, or felt as close.

My stomach growled. It was way past lunch time. He followed me as we left the fields and headed down a narrow forest path. The trees pulled in close overhead and on either side, making the trail feel almost like a tunnel. Him and I had wondered all over in the past few days, but never thru here. It was cooler under the great trees, but still warm.

I did not miss my shirt in the least. Even in the shade, stray beads of sweat joined together to run down my torso in tiny streams. There was barely any breeze among the trees at all. It felt cooler, but there was a humidity not found in the open fields. It was darker in the forest as well, but shafts of light hit the chocolate earth, penetrating the leaves, making them a translucent green. A clearing slowly came into view as we drew nearer, a meadow bright and sunny, a dazzling contrast to the shade of the trees. Tiny purple flowers peeked out from the grass, and a few yellow ones too. Down the hill the sun sparkled off a small lake.

I pulled my backpack off, and him and I seated ourselves under a large tree and admired the view. Scented wild flowers surrounded us. The whole scene looked like some painting. I pulled out the contents of my pack and spread them between us. Him and I ate sandwiches and munched on potato chips and various treats. We were starving and far too focused on eating to speak. Words were not necessary. I was completely content, alone with him.

I gazed at him as he bit into a chocolate chip cookie, smearing his upper lip with chocolate that had melted in the sun. I cared about him, I really cared about him. Somewhere along the line, he had become more important to me than I was to myself. I felt close to him as I did to no other. He was more than a friend; he was my best friend, and he was dearer to me than I could express. He was always in my thoughts. Sometimes I could think of nothing else. Just knowing he was my friend made me happy. Spending time with him was always my favorite thing. It didn't even matter what we were doing. I was happy as long as I was with him. We seemed to belong together.

My eyes were drawn once more to his bare chest. The curves and lines of his pecs looked like an artist had designed them. I loved the way his torso slimed down into a V at his waist. His abdomen was flat and firm, and I could make out the lines in his six pac stomach without difficulty. He was strong and well-muscled, the very essence of male beauty and grace. He was oblivious to my attention. He was far too absorbed in our meal, our surroundings, and the bright sunny day. It was just as well. My open admiration would have embarrassed him, to say nothing of me.

When we had consumed every last morsel, we lay back on the grass and warmed our full bellies in the sun. We were like two little puppies, to stuffed and too sleepy to move. I slowly drifted off, enveloped by a warm fuzzy feeling and a sense of complete contentment. I awoke sometime later, an hour, perhaps more. He was laying there looking at me with a smile on his face that made him look like a little boy. He playfully punched me in the shoulder.

"About time you woke up, lazy ass."

We both stood, all sweaty and hot. Sleeping in the scorching sunlight was not the best of ideas on a blazing hot day. I felt like I was ready to spontaneously combust. Trickles of sweat ran down his face.

He looked at the lake longingly, then turned to me and smiled.

"Let's swim!" he said.

"But we don't have swimsuits," I pointed out.

"What are you, a city boy? Come on."

That was a funny thing for him to say, since we were both city boys. But he didn't wait for an answer, he just ran down the hill, tossing off clothing. I followed at a slower pace, passing his shoes, his socks, and his jeans. I looked up to see him stripping off his boxers near the shore. I caught a glimpse of his little white butt, just before he dove into the water. I quickly undressed on the shore, a little self-conscious as I pushed my boxers down over my hips. I'd never skinny dipped before, and wasn't accustomed to running around naked, unless I was in the privacy of my own room or in the showers at school.

He dove under and completely disappeared from view, only to pop up a few feet away, smiling and laughing, water streaming down his firm body, totally free of care. His mood was infectious, and I found myself yelling and screaming as we swam and wrestled with one another in the water. I don't think I'd ever been quite as happy as I was just then. It was one of those simple moments I wished could last forever. All we were doing was wrestling in a little lake, but it was better than anything I could envision. The day was bright and beautiful, the water was clear and cool. We were surrounded by beauty on all sides. And best of all I was with Corey.

When we grew tired form our exertions, we set our feet down on the muddy bottom and enjoyed the feel of the cool water surrounding our hot bodies. It was refreshing to be rid of the grime and sweat. I allowed myself to float, and he did too. We just floated in the water, feeling the sun upon us. I looked at his face. It was filled with kindness. He possessed a beauty that was hard to describe. I fought to keep my eyes from wondering lower than his abdomen, but wasn't entirely successful.

Corey, don't you know what you're doing to me, I thought. For just an instant I felt ready to reach out to him, to touch him, to give voice to all the thoughts seething within me. Then, before I could will my hands to move, I lost my nerve.

A few minutes later, we waded toward the shore and stood in the water, drinking in the beautiful day. My eyes traveled down his body yet again. I drank in the sight of his magnificent torso, from his muscular chest, to tight, flat abdomen. My gaze traveled lower and settled on his long, straight cock and balls beneath, just above the water. The light hair that grew around his manhood accentuated it, demanding I look. My heart beat a little faster in my chest, and I felt my own cock twitch and grow. A dull ache began in my nuts and I felt the pressure build. The sensation traveled through my entire body. I devoured his nakedness with my eyes and my cock began to expand even more. I turned quickly away, stepped from the water, and pulled on my clothes before he had a chance to notice my erection. He dressed soon after, covering his nakedness except for his chest.

We walked back up the hill, retrieved my backpack, and continued walking. We slowly walked back toward home, laughing and joking. The rest of the day was very pleasant, but somewhat subdued. He departed for home just after dark, stopping to tell me that he hadn't had so much fun in a long, long time.

That night I lay in bed, thinking of the events of the day, thinking about how much fun it was with Corey, thinking about how I felt about him, thinking about his body. I could still picture him standing naked in the lake as if he was before my very eyes. My body reacted to the picture in my mind, just as it had when I gazed on his smooth, naked skin. A feeling of pleasure, tinted with pain, began in my groin and spread throughout my body. My cock hardened and my nuts began to ache. I pushed the sheet down and exposed my stiff penis, standing straight up at attention. I wrapped my hand around my pole and slowly moved it up and down. A little whimper of pleasure escaped my lips.

I pictured him in my mind, him smiling, him walking shirtless beside me, but mostly him standing naked in the lake. My hand stroked harder and faster, until I lost control and made a mess all over my chest and abdomen. I cleaned up with a few tissues and fell asleep, dreaming about Corey.

Corey and I met a couple of guys the next day as we were out wondering around. We were wondering around the Williams farm and came across a couple of the Williams' boys, Alan and Alex, twin seventeen old brothers, working out in one of the fields, one of them driving a combine and the other one of the trucks used to haul grain into town. They'd been at it for several days now, and told us it would take probably another week to complete the harvest, then the whole cycle would start over in another month or so, planting the next crop for later in the fall.

Their father owns all the land around my house, in fact he's the one we bought our old house from. They are working full time during the summer and will start school again at the end of August.

I'll just say this about both boys, damn they're fucking hot. They both play football during school and they sure look like it, both are extremely well built, standing there shirtless in the hot sun.

The twins were extremely attractive with their black hair, brown eyes and tanned, toned bodies. The fact that they were twins made them doubly interesting and, dare I say it, arousing.

Identical twin boys, black hair and brown eyes. How hot is that? Corey has blond hair and blue eyes which are my favorite combination on a boy, but these two were still very hot. He's better looking though, but not by much.

I can't keep my eyes from him. Square shoulders, smooth chest just touched with a bit of fuzz, firm stomach with a tracing of darker fuzz that trailed below his beltline. With his blond, blue eyed good looks and magnetic smile, he attracted girls the way rock stars did fans. I'm sure he attracted plenty of boys as well, including yours truly. I just wish I knew whether he was gay or not.

Him and I have been working out for over a year now, and it was really showing. A whole new and improved Corey Winthrop. This Corey oozed a confidence that had almost knocked me on my ass, and the muscles he had packed onto his tall frame had me wondering how it would feel to press up against him.

For a mad instant I felt a desire to reach out and touch my friend's bare skin, then I came to my senses and forced myself to look away. A blush instantly touched my cheeks, then mercifully went away.

I noticed him ogling both of them as they stood there shirtless and sweating in the hot sun, but so was I. I don't blame him; I'd love to lick the sweat off either of their chests. I'd love to lick them somewhere else as well, hell all three of them would be fun. I think he knows I saw him looking because he just smiled and his face turned red. Just another sign I thought.


I think Niko saw me looking at Alan and Alex, but I couldn't help myself. They're both good looking and have very nice bodies. All that hard work on their farm, plus football, has really worked wonders on their bodies. I saw him looking as well, and kind of licking his lips.

One more sign that he's gay as well as I am. I'm not one hundred percent sure, of course, but I'm almost positive he is. Do I dare say anything, or make some kind of move? God knows I want to but I need to think about it a little more, and be absolutely certain. I can't tell him. Not without jeopardizing our friendship.

I'd hate to say or do anything and be wrong. I could not only ruin my friendship, but put my life in danger. I have no doubt that being labeled gay in Chouteau Kansas, even in the twenty first century, would be almost like a death sentence. I have no idea how my mom and dad would react, but I have a pretty good idea that it wouldn't be good. I've never been hit or abused in any way, but that could change in a heartbeat. No I have to be absolutely certain before I say or do anything. But damn, it sure would be fun to have Niko as a boyfriend.


I'm seriously thinking about coming out to Corey. Not only because I'm almost certain he's gay like me, but because he's my best friend. I'm positive that even if he isn't gay that he won't turn on me. He's too good of a friend to do something like that. And I'm tired of living a lie around him. I just feel like the time is right.

If I said I wasn't scared I'd be lying, but sometimes a person has to do things they're scared of. And, if he turns out to be like me, and I don't find out for years, then that's something I'll always regret. No, the next time we're alone together, I'm going to tell him. Whatever happens, happens, but I have a good feeling about him.

A few nights later, an opportunity presented itself. Both him and I were out lying on the ground together on a blanket, at like eight o'clock at night, looking up at the sky, watching the stars come out one by one, and talking about whatever came to mind. The sun was setting and the weather was perfect. We shared life, fears and first love. We do that all the time, we both seem to enjoy the peace and quiet of the country, and you can see millions of stars out here away from the city lights.

The absolute darkness of the nearly moonless night made the stars look like diamonds in the sky. The Milky Way was very bright and we began counting shooting stars.

"Wow, I've never seen so many shooting stars," I said.

"It's a meteor shower," he said. "I think this one is called Orionid or something."

I grinned and laughed.

"You know the name of the meteor shower?"

"Okay, I'm a geek, I admit it. I like the NASA web site," he said, smiling.

"It's so beautiful," I said.

He seemed so mesmerized.

"This isn't actually a very large shower. There's going to be one in December that will be huge in comparison to this one, and if I remember right, the moon will only be a sliver. No light to get in the way."

"I hope I can watch it with you," I said.

His smile was infectious, and I found myself hoping he could too. That night I realized how nice it was to be with someone, to be with him.

"So, school starts back up in another couple of months," he said. "I'm really looking forward to it this time. I'm hoping things will be different for me in a new school. Maybe we'll meet a couple of girls or something."

Fuck, I thought, he must like girls after all. I was so sure he liked boys. Do I dare tell him now?

"Yeah, sounds like fun," I said, but I think he could tell I didn't really mean it.

"What's wrong, Niko? You don't sound too enthused about that. Come on, a couple of hot babes, you and me, double dating. What kind of girl turns you on, Niko?"

The moment of truth had finally arrived. Could I tell him now after what he had just said? It's now or never I thought, so just say it. He's not going to reject your friendship or anything like that. I just know he won't.

Our eyes met and I was stuck again by his beauty, those huge flashing blue eyes, with their impossibly long eyelashes, his ruler straight nose, the trapezoidal planes of his check, his pouty lips, the way the breeze tousled that hair dawn crazily over his eyebrows, the cleft of his chin.

I looked away, waiting for my nerves to calm down.

Finally, I said, slowly, my voice shaking, "I guess my type is kind of changing."

Please don't ask me anything more, I thought to myself. I'm sick of lying, and I want to kiss you so badly.

"So, like what?" he whispered. "Who keeps you up at night?"

Fear punched me in the gut, and I swallowed hard. To say what was in my heart was too dangerous. I just lay there and stared into space for several minutes, not knowing what to say.

"Niko," came his voice. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He must have noticed that my eyes were somewhere else, somewhere bad. I shook my head and shook my head again, and held my hands, and my heart said, just tell him. It's now or never, I thought.

Sometimes you have to take chances in life if you're going to be happy. You have to be willing to be hurt in order to gain anything. Sometimes getting hurt makes you stronger, so that next time you'll be able to risk more.

He was the first person I ever spoke these dreaded words to, and someone who I happened to have had a crush on for nearly two years. Life is a tradeoff between risks and benefits. If what you want is important enough, than you're willing to take more risks for it.

"Well, Corey, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it and hope for the best. Please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you."

"You're my best friend, Niko. I could never hate you,' he said.

"Okay then, here goes. Girls don't turn me on, Corey. They do absolutely nothing for me. Boys turn me on. Boys like Alan and Alex who we met the other day. Boys like…" I hesitated for several seconds before finally saying, "boys like you, Corey. I like boys, Corey. I don't know, but I… I think I'm; I think I'm gay, Corey. I like you, I have from the moment we met two years ago. I've always been too scared to say anything."

We lay together in silence for how long I couldn't tell. It could have been ten seconds; it could have been an hour. And then a burst of courage made me look over at my friend, and I saw that he was staring back at me in a sideways squint. I looked away.

He just lay there looking at me for several moments, the longest period of my life it seemed like.

Finally, he said, "oh my god."

A hand pressed my shoulder and I flinched. I turned and our eyes locked. Fear gripped me again, and I closed my eyes.

"You Corey," I said again. "I have feelings for you. And I don't know what to do; they aren't, um, going away."

I just knew that he was probably disgusted by the whole thing, so I was completely caught off guard when he continued.

"That's so fucking cool, Niko. I kind of thought you might be. I've had the hots for you as well for about two years now. I'm gay as well you know. I just never said anything because I thought you'd…you know."

"Yeah, I know. Damn, I've thought a few times in the past that you might be, but then when you mentioned girls a few minutes ago I thought I must have read the signs wrong. That's why I hesitated to tell you just now. But I'm so glad I did. Do you feel this way about other guys too?"

"I'm so glad you did as well, Niko. I've been wanting to tell you myself but never had the balls to do it. Thank god, now we know. And yes, sometimes I have feelings for other guys, but not like I feel for you."

"Me neither," I said. "We're just really close, you and me."

Holy shit! The guy I've been secretly dating in my mind for almost two years is like me.



Should I expose the extent of my obsession to him? I quickly figured I had nothing to lose at this point.

"I think about you all the time, Corey. And I've got feelings for you. Strong ones."

"Really?" His eyes raised. "What kind." His face displayed a bashful smile and eyes that sparkled. "Tell me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't. It's stupid."

"You can tell me," he coaxed. "I promise I won't laugh, and I won't tell anyone."

My eyes searched his and thought they saw truth there. And trustworthiness.

"I'm in love with you," I said finally.

"You are?" was what his mouth said when I knew it was what he thought.

I needed to proceed cautiously. I stared ahead vacantly while considering what to say.

"Yeah, I am."

The truth was out and the relief was indescribable.

"I think about you all the time as well, Niko, like the same kind of stuff you were saying. This is really hard to say." He cleared his throat then looked me right in the eye. "I think about you and me and what it would be like to be with you, what it would feel like to make love with you. I've really wanted to talk to you about this, but I was scared how you might react. I look at you in school, especially in the showers after gym class. You're a hot guy, Niko."

"So do I, in case you can't tell," I say.

"I could, or at least I thought I could. I kept telling myself it couldn't possibly be true, but I guess I was wrong. I love you as well, Niko, I have from the very beginning, since the day I met you, I just knew you were special. I mean, Niko, I've never said this to another guy before and I might never again as long as I live, but I can see myself with you forever. Both of us together you know."

Suddenly shy, I glanced away.

"You know, I've thought the same thing on several occasions myself. I can see us being together for the rest of our lives. I just never thought I'd meet someone like you so soon. I thought I might never meet someone and fall in love. I guess sometimes dreams do come true. I've never said that to anyone before."

The next thing I knew he turned his head away, then turned back and met my gaze. Then holding me securely, he bent his head nearer and then leaned over and kissed me, right on the lips. Corey Winthrop had kissed me, the first time I had ever been kissed by anyone, my first thrilling kiss when we embraced in the moonlight.

I was smelling him, tasting him, touching him, all at once. I'd never felt anything like it before. We pressed our bodies together, and I felt myself becoming more and more relaxed, but also more and more excited at exactly the same time.

I almost couldn't believe what was happening. For an instant I thought it was a dream, or a cruel trick, but then I hugged him tight and he hugged me back, and I knew it was real. How was it possible that he wanted to do this at least as badly as I did, maybe even more so, if he was bold enough to instigate it. When we drew apart he looked as surprised as I felt.

He kissed me again, this time harder, more demanding, just closed his mouth right over mine. The next thing I knew his tongue probed at my lips. I moaned and opened up for him, sliding my own tongue out to play.

"I never kissed anyone like that before," he said to me. "I hope I didn't do it wrong."

"It was the kiss I'll never forget," I told him.

I couldn't help myself. I grabbed him in a hug and kissed him right back, marveling at how his lips parted and little puffs of breath seeped from his mouth into mine.

He put one hand behind my head and stroked my hair as he pressed his lips to mine again. As soon as we opened our lips and I felt the exciting touch of his tongue on my lips, exploring the inside of my mouth, I forcefully pulled his tongue into my own mouth, engulfing him in warm, passionate wetness.

The kiss went on for an eternity, became something tender and playful. In a few minutes I found myself with my head against his chest and his arms around me.

"I have to admit I'm proud of myself," he said through a little laugh.

"Yeah," I said.

"Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to be brave enough, and I wasn't really sure if you wanted to," he said.

"Are you serious? It's all I've been thinking about for the last month. The last year," I said.

"Well," he cleared his throat and dipped his head sheepishly, "I'm just glad one of us had a little experience to contribute. It helped, I think."

"Yeah," I said, suddenly embarrassed. "Thanks for that."

He blinked.

"I was thanking you. I've never kissed anyone before."

"Come on!" I said.

"You mean you haven't either?" he asked.

"Never," I said. "I've thought about it, dreamed about it but no, I never have."

We lay there talking and giving each other the occasional kiss for several more minutes. I had never been so happy in my life.

He sighed.

"How long have you been in love with me you little shit?" he asked me, smiling.

"Ever since I first met you back in Norfolk."

"And you haven't told me?"

"I didn't know how you'd react until just now."

He kissed me again, turned my head and gently nibbled at the place where my chin met my earlobe. At the same time, I rubbed my hands up and down his back, forcefully, stroking and embracing at the same time. I made a sound that was halfway between a sigh and a moan.

He grinned.

"Does that let you know how I react?"

"I guess so."

We laid there briefly making out, before finally rolling back onto our backs and looking at the stars as we talked about where to go from here. I'm not sure how long we had kissed, but I think it was for a really long time. We might have kissed all night.

I was lying right beside him, about as close as one could imagine. The contact with his body sent my head spinning. I was keenly aware of everything about him. As we talked my eyes drifted all over him. I noted every detail, his white blond eyebrows, and his perfect skin. It was hard to believe how happy I was, just because he was there.

The scent of his hair and cologne sent my heart spinning. We'd been talking the whole time we'd been lying on the ground, but I don't remember much of what we said. I turned to him, my eyes met his, and my words slowly trailed off into silence. We sat there just gazing into each other's eyes, and then slowly began to lean forward. I felt as if our souls were communicating in a way we never could with words. Slowly, I raised my arms and wrapped them around him, drawing him closer still, and he returned my embrace. We lay there and hugged and kissed.

It was the greatest feeling I'd ever experienced. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and his heart pounding in his chest. I wanted to hold him forever and feel his strong arms around me.

He leaned back just a little and looked into my eyes.

"Niko have you ever…" he paused.

I could tell it was difficult for him to speak his mind. He looked away embarrassed.

"This is tough" he said.

I smiled.

"You can ask me anything, Corey… anything."

He took a deep breath.

"Have you ever… you know, done anything with another guy?"

"Sure, lots!" I said. He looked kind of shocked. I laughed. "In my dreams anyway," I explained. "But in real life, nothing. Not even once."

"You're wicked!" he said, visibly relieved. "You had me thinking all kinds of things."

"And you like that I'm wicked don't you, Corey?" I said with a mischievous grin.

"Oh yeah, baby," he said and giggled.

I put my right hand on his shoulder.

"So have you ever… you know, with a guy?" I asked.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "and not with a girl either. Well, I did kiss this one girl at our old school back in Norfolk, or rather she kissed me. There were no tongues or anything."

"My cousin kissed me once," I said. "That's it for me, one quick kiss on the lips from my girl cousin."

"I guess we're officially virgins them," he said.

"Yeah, and I'm glad," I said. "I haven't been too happy about it in the past, but it's different now. Now it means that when we, you know, we'll both have our first time together."

He smiled and turned a little red. Talking about sex was a lot more difficult with just the two of us, alone together, than it was in a locker room full of guys. Well, you know what I mean. Talking about sex in the locker room was just bullshitting; here it was real.

"Uhm, Niko," he asked expectantly.

"Yeah?" I said.

"Do you, oh… you know"

The way he was so shy was really cute. I don't know how, but somehow I knew just what he was talking about. I grinned and made a little hand gesture.

"You mean, do I jerk off?"


"All the time," I said earnestly. "How could any guy not do it all the time?"

"Me too," he admitted.

"You know what they say?" I asked.


"That half the guys in the world admit to whacking it, and the other half are lying."

He laughed, but his face was beet red now. I was kind of embarrassed too. I knew it'd get easier though, it was just going to take us a little time. All this talk about what we'd done, or in our case what we'd not done with another guy, was getting to me. It was definitely getting hot out here.

We grew quiet and I hugged him close to me once more. He nuzzled up against my cheek, then closed his eyes and sighed. I'd never dreamed that just hugging someone could make me so content. It was the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. I just lay there, lost in the moment, and enjoying the closeness, love and warmth. My god, it was wonderful.

He hugged me again and then stood up.

"Much more of this, Niko, and I'm going to end up fucking you right here. We need to take this slow until we figure it all out."

Part of me wanted to stay, to keep doing what I was doing with him and see where it would take us. But the more sensible part of me took command, and made me stand up and brush my hair back into place. I smiled and held out my hand and he took it, and hand in hand we strolled toward home.

All the way home I kept thinking about what had happened with him. I'd never had a boyfriend before. I wasn't sure I'd ever felt giddy before either. If I had, it wasn't for a very long time.

Later that night a rapping woke me up. I looked up from my pillow. Someone was at the window. I rubbed the sleep from my face and pushed myself up.

I saw a small pale face looking in and my chest grew tight as I held my breath. Then the face spoke my name and smiled. I recognized Corey's voice. I left the bed and undid the lock, lifting the window. Cool air rushed in.

"Corey, what are you doing here?" I mumbled, still half asleep.

He started to pull himself up and over the window sill. I took hold of him underneath the shoulders and helped. He had changed clothes and wore a clean t-shirt and sweats. He looked freshly scrubbed, his hair still damp and a shade darker than its normal blond.

Wearing just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I shivered at the chilly breeze slipping through the open window, and the sudden nervous thrill of being so exposed to him.

"I needed to see you again," he said.


I walked back to the bed and sat by the pillows, bringing my legs underneath me by the pillows. He kept his gaze down towards the floor.

"Do you like me?" he asked.

I smiled at the innocent question.

"Very much," I replied.

As proof, I brushed my hand through his hair. He sighed and leaned back a little so it was easier to reach him.

"Good," he whispered.

"What's wrong, Corey?"

He turned his head and flashed me a smile.

"I like you too, Niko."

His eyes roamed over me, my face and chest, then blushing suddenly, he looked away. I let my hand drift down to his neck. I wanted him to tell me why he had stolen away to visit me in the middle of the night.

He turned around to face me, and moved a few inches closer. We just stared at each other for several moments, without saying a word. He looked small and nervous, and I wanted nothing more than to hug him tightly against me.

He leaned in close to me and I slid my arms around him.

"I'm glad you kissed me," I said. "I don't think I would ever have had the balls to kiss you first."

He smiled and said, "I thought I'd die, or maybe you'd spit or something because I did it wrong, or you didn't like it. I never kissed anyone before that."

"It was the kiss I'll never forget," I said.

I leaned down and kissed him again; marveling at how his lips parted and little puffs of breath seeped from his mouth into mine.

"You like that?" I asked.

He blinked and buried himself back in my arms.

"Yeah. Can I sleep here with you tonight?"

I almost growled out a "yes," and pounce on him, but the gentle way he had asked the question made me stop. Letting my hormones take over might not be the smartest thing to do. Maybe savoring him slowly, in slow doses, was the right choice.

"Of course, though I may want to have another kiss."

And I did.

I slipped an arm around him.

"Hey, you're shaking, Corey. Are you scared?"

"I'm not scared, so much as nervous, Niko," he replied. "I've never done this before you know. I'm not sure what to do exactly."

"Well, I've never done it either, Corey," I told him. "I guess we'll figure it out together."

I rubbed his arms, and hugged him tighter. I held onto him, then buried my face on his shoulder. He rubbed his cheek against mine, a firm, slightly rough pressure that stirred warmth in me and made me draw my breath sharply. Then he continued the movement of his face, kissed my neck and dug his chin into the hollow where my shoulders met my neck.

His mouth was warm, wet and demanding. I felt myself settle back against the bed until I lay full length. His body pressed against mine, half on top of me. He continued to kiss me, now nibbling gently, now nuzzling me with feather gently touches of his lips on my tight, excited skin. I reached up to touch his face.

I can't believe I'm actually here, I thought, as I ran my fingertips gently over his forehead, eyebrows, and lips. I stroked his hair, and he slowly lowered his face until his lips touched mine. Now we kissed and I was no longer nervous. I parted my lips, ran my tongue over his teeth, let him enter my mouth. Then hugging him as tight as I could, I ran my hands over his back. I turned my attention to his neck and kissed him as he had kissed me.

He stiffened, gasped and smiled. I grinned and attacked his ear. Careful with my teeth, I licked his earlobe, massaging it with my lips.

He moaned with pleasure.

"Where did you learn that?" he asked me, sounding surprised.

"I didn't," I replied. "It just seems natural. Does it bother you?"

"Bother me. God no! It's hot, Niko, damn hot."

"I try hard," I reply.

I continued my attention to his ears, alternating back and forth, with slow sensual kisses. After a bit of this, he grabbed me and pinned me down on the bed and started nibbling at my neck. Rather than the pain I expected, I felt an almost unbearable pleasure, pleasure that electrified my whole body, made all my muscles tighten.

I hugged him and grunted. He, making a noise halfway between a laugh and a growl, ran his hands over my chest as he kissed me. Then without warning, he started pulling my shirt off. In a few seconds my chest was bare. The touch of his hands on my skin was both delight and torment.

I wiggled helplessly, knotting my fingers in his hair. He kissed my neck, then moved down and bestowed a fiery kiss on my right nipple. I arched my back and groaned, "oh my god."

He looked up and grinned a self-satisfied grin.

"You like that, eh?"

I couldn't speak as he returned to the business at hand. Finally, when I couldn't take anymore, I wrestled him to the mattress and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the floor.

"Let's see how you like it."

I bowed my head and ran my tongue along the firm, slightly downy surface of his chest, until I reached one of his nipples. I kissed the tiny mound, and was rewarded with a spasm of pleasure from him. I continued while he stroked my head and my back. For the moment exhausted, the two of us lay peacefully next to one another; legs entwined and chests pressed firmly together. He lightly stroked my hair and I kissed him on the cheek.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Ecstatic," I replied. "How about you?"

"I never dreamed," he sighed. "I was a fool, Niko. All this time this is what I wanted with you, and it never dawned on me that you might want it as well from me."

"I'm here," I said and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you, Corey."

"I love you too," he replied.

"I've spent night after night dreaming about what it would be like for us to just hold each other, to walk on the beach together at sunset, and make plans for our future, to have your voice be the last thing I hear at night and the first thing I hear in the morning. I love your sadness, your smile, your shyness, your laugh, everything about you, Corey."

I sighed deeply, closed my eyes, then wiped my nose on the back of my wrist. My eyes fluttered open through sudden tears. We lay there holding each other and talking for several more minutes.

He reached over and turned out the light. Moonlight shining through the window painted his face silver. We kissed again, a long drawn out kiss filled with warmth and passion. And I felt his hands fumbling at the waist of my shorts. This is it I thought. In a minute both of us wore just our boxers.

We pressed together and I dragged the covers up over us. I felt the hot rigidity of his dick pressing against me, matching my own stiffness. His hands played over my back, my thighs, my hips; I nuzzled him and marveled at the silky softness of his skin. His hands moved beneath the waist band of my boxers and seconds later they were discarded and I was naked next to him.

While he stroked me gently, I pulled his boxers off and threw them aside. So hot, so large, I thought as I moved my hand to his groin. His fingers drew patterns of fire in my tortured flesh; I moved my own hands and he thrust his hips forward and kissed me.

"You're so good," he whispered.

Our hands moved together in matching, relentless rhythm, and with our free arms we embraced, trying to bring our bodies even closer together. I knew that I panted, that I made no coherent noise. I was almost beyond rational thought, when he smothered me in a final, demanding kiss.

He tensed and I felt myself on the brink of passion's release. Then, in one glorious moment, it happened, I was transported beyond the crisp, clear night, as me and him moved together into a plane of joy and bliss far beyond the ordinary world. Clinging together, overcome by fatigue, the two of us slipped into sleep.

I opened my eyes. For the first time ever, I woke because a warm boy slid up against me, laying his face in the crook of my neck. Corey's soft breath teased my skin, and I purred and pulled myself closer to him.

Had it really happened? I didn't need to look over at the sleeping form next to me to know it had. I'd been dreaming about it even before I'd awakened; my mind had been running it over and over, the same way it did a beautiful song while it's playing and then even after it ends. With a melody so sweet that you can't let it go, you keep humming and humming it until you get tired of it.

But I knew I would never get tired of this. Tired of him. He was a song I'd been singing all my life, even before I knew the melody. Before I knew the words. For so long now I'd been harmonizing with silence. Until last night.

I smiled, then reached over to smooth his warm muscled shoulder. He shifted and rolled onto his back. Then he sighed. A sigh of contentment is what it sounded like. I'd never heard a sigh like that before.

My hand, guided by hormonal instinct, knew to slip under the covers and rub his smooth, bare chest. He pushed himself against me.

"Morning," he murmured in my ear.

I didn't answer. The last thing I wanted was for it to be morning and for me to have to get out of bed. Mornings are evil. My hand left his chest and slid to his ass, squeezing it once.

Damn, I loved his sounds. So gentle. I had the urge to press further, slip my hand against the front and see what touching another boy there felt like. But then the house creaked and rudely reminded me of what had happened last night.

"You should leave before we get caught," I told him.

I gave him a quick kiss. He moved in for another and another. I slid a hand to the back of his head, letting my fingers brush through his long hair while as he nibbled on my lower lip.

"Yeah, I should."

His murmurs tickled my ear and made me want him more. Damn. I could not stop myself from licking his chin, moving down to kiss his neck. He moaned softly, spurring me further.

My hands found their way to his back and ass, rubbing in slow, tight circles. He slowly ground his body against mine. His breath came in ragged pants.

I slid my fingers over his smooth, bare ass. The skin I found was soft like silk. Not really sure what to do, I just let my fingertips lightly tickle their way up and down between his small, rounded cheeks. He groaned my name.

"Yes," I said softly. "We should…we should…"

His eyes closed and he licked his lips, then he shook his head slightly. A few drops of sweat fell from his forehead onto my chest. I suddenly felt conscious of how fast we were moving.

Again came concern of rushing him into something so seriously physical, not when I was just discovering how much he mattered to me. I quickly slid my hand off of his ass. He looked up at me with one open and amazingly blue eye.

"Thanks," he mumbled and just lay down on top of me.

Our breathing began to calm down and fall in sync.

"Let me see if the coast is clear." Wearing jeans and a t-shirt I found on the floor, I slowly crept down the hall to the top of the stairs. Was my mom still home? I hoped she'd maybe left to go shopping or something.

No such luck. I heard sounds from the kitchen. Even worse than her being there, was her home making breakfast. I had to get him out fast.

I found him already dressed and smoothing the folded covers. I stood in the doorway, blinking at the sight. He had made my bed. He had made my bed! I think that was the first time that had ever been done by anyone other than my mom. I mean no matter where I lived, the bed simply stayed perpetually slept in.

Why bother to make it all neat, when later you would be spending hours tossing in it anyway. But the boy had actually given it definition, sharp corners, the pillow a space of its own.

He looked up at me and sort of smiled sheepishly. "Uhhh," should I thank him. He walked into my arms. This new feeling of embracing a boy when I wanted was addicting.

I wondered when we would be together next. I took him by the hand and led him out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Just a few yards to the front door, the tricky part being the gauntlet past the kitchen. If we made a dash maybe mom wouldn't see us.

But I forgot one important thing; my luck or lack of any. Just as we were passing the kitchen, the phone rang. I swore silently. My mom reached for the telephone hanging on the kitchen wall and saw us there in the hallway. She stopped. Then she recovered from her surprise with a slight smile.

"Morning guys. Mind answering that? I don't want the pancakes to burn."


He smiled and whispered the word like it was almost holy. He went straight for the kitchen table.

I groaned, leaning back against the wall, until the phone rang again. I reached to answer it. He sat at the table with a knife and fork in hand, ready for breakfast. So much for sneaking him out of the house I thought.


Wow! I can't believe it. One of us finally had the balls to come out to the other. When Niko told me he was gay, I was so happy. I had dreamed about him for a couple of years now, but to find out for sure was great. I always thought he was, at least for the last several months and now I know.

"Do you remember when we first met two years ago?" he asked me. "I wanted to ask you out so badly, but I was too scared about how you would react."

"I probably didn't even realize that you were interested. Actually I didn't know, not at the time anyway."

"It was like we were part of each other's lives, but we kept missing each other," he said. "You were always there and I could sense it, sort of, but I kept telling myself that it was just my imagination, that you couldn't possibly be interested in me that way."

"Yeah, it was a growth time for me," I said. "I was discovering I had feelings for other boys, especially you, and I just didn't know how to act. I kind of thought you might be like me, but I just wasn't sure and was too scared myself to take a chance."

Before he could protest, I did what I'd been dying to do all night. I leaned over and my hand shot out, solidly cupping the back of his neck, threading my fingers through his hair, and slanted my mouth over his. I looked into his eyes and pulled his head forcefully toward me while drawing our mouths together.

He jerked back reflexively as the dense heat of my torso pressed flat against his chest; he staggered under the crush of my twisting tongue as it wrenched his mouth open and licked his teeth.

He resisted for half a second, before he relaxed and let me in. My lips awakened a sleeping part of him. I took complete advantage. My tongue thrust into his mouth, touching, tasting, devouring. He tasted intoxicating and god, could the boy kiss. He consumed me right back, giving as good as he got, even sucking on my bottom lip.

My cock grew harder than a fucking rock. I couldn't remember ever getting this turned on this fast. If I didn't stop now, I wouldn't. Not that that was a bad thing, but we both needed to slow down and figure things out.

I felt like a character in a fairy tale that had just lifted a spell. And time slammed to a stop for me. Only nostrils blowing noisily, and tongues thrusting wildly, and hands squeezing muscle, and the heat, oh the young heat that ached for release.

"Jesus," he hissed as his mouth pulled away, eyes wide.

A bridge of saliva connecting us stretched, and then collapsed.

I drew back, gasping for air. He followed suit, laying his head on my shoulder, breathing heavily. I gave into one last temptation and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Sorry about that, Niko. Kinda lost my head there."

He nodded.

"Yeah, th-th-that was… that was fucking hot," he said.

I smiled. A stuttering Niko was really cute. I wanted to push and see if I could make him stutter some more, so I leaned over and caressed his smooth cheek. He leaned into the caress for a second then leaned over and kissed me back.

I don't know what had come over me. Pent up desire and pure lust I guess, but I had actually leaned over and kissed him. Fuck! This was the best night of my life. We briefly made out laying there on the ground. I think we both wanted to go further but we held off. I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life. Just lying there in each other's arms, kissing and rubbing our bodies together, even fully clothed, caused me to unload in my shorts, and I'm pretty sure he did the same. I could feel his whole body shudder, and he let out a low moan a few seconds later.

Needless to say, it was the hottest night of my life. I couldn't wait to continue and try something else besides kissing, but we continued that for about another hour before rolling off each other.

"Jesus, that was fucking hot," he said. "I've been dying to kiss you forever it seems."

"I know," I replied. "I've felt the same way for the longest time. I'm kind of embarrassed, Niko. Kissing you was so fucking hot I actually came in my shorts. I hope you don't mind or anything."

"Yeah, well I kind of thought you had. That's great. I'm glad I was able to cause that to happen. I did the same thing you know."

"I know. I could feel your whole body shuddering as it happened. It was hot knowing I was doing that to you. Next time I want to see it though.

Later, after I had returned home, I took a quick shower and went to bed. I lay there staring at the ceiling for over an hour, but couldn't fall asleep. After what had happened with Niko earlier, I was feeling horny and missed him terribly. I wanted to make out with him more, so I finally got dressed and snuck out the door and made my way over to his house, crawling up and knocking on the window of his room.

He was surprised to see me, but I could tell he was pleased. In silence he helped me through the window and into his bedroom. I sat on the edge of his bed. He walked around to lie down.

"You gonna sleep like that?" he asked.


"You'll be uncomfortable. At least take off your sweat pants."

Slowly turning away from him, I untied my pants and took them off tentatively, wrestling in my head whether to take my t-shirt off or not. I don't look like he does without a shirt. How does someone get muscles like that?

Don't take it off; he'll laugh at how scrawny I am. Did I put on deodorant after my shower? Don't recall. The shirt is staying on.

I sat on the edge of the bed and removed my socks. I lay as close to the edge of the bed as possible, hovering by pure strength of mind and fear on three inches of mattress.

We lay silent for seven solid minutes. I know because my eyes were glued to his clock radio, blinking at me with its red glowing numbers.

"I really want this to work, us I mean. Why does it have to be so complicated?" he asked with a sigh, sinking into the comfort of his bed.

He's staring at the ceiling, as if the solution might be hidden there somewhere in the plaster.

"I know. Me too," I answer.

Admittedly our communications skills are somewhat lacking. He closes his eyes and lets out another sigh.

I turned, now in just my boxers, to see him lying on the bed on top of the covers, clutching a pillow over his stomach, staring at the ceiling. My heart was beating rapidly as I moved closer to him, swallowing hard.

We locked eyes and I was terrified. Was this a cruel joke? He rose on one elbow to meet me. Placing a hand on his chest, I leaned over and closed my eyes, waiting, waiting, and contact!

He bit my lip like he was so hungry he didn't know what to do. He ripped off my shirt and kissed my chest. Tearing off our underwear, we jammed our bodies together, hitting hard, holding hard, rough and desperate, trying to cram a lifetime of longing into one night.

. Getting up the next morning, a strange new energy envelops me. It is an acute anticipation, an excitement. I can't wait to get up and get my day started; there is joy in the usually mundane and monotonous tasks of my morning procedures.

I find myself singing in the shower. Extra special attention is paid in the choice of clothes, the intricate styling of my hair. My mind races as I eat breakfast. I fantasize about our initial encounter. What I say. What he says. This path I've traveled a hundred times reveals new beauty. I notice the trees decorating themselves in white and pink blossoms, as if in celebration. The cool morning air brings a rush of emotions and visions of last night. I play back our conversation, and see our encounter as an audience viewing a film. God, make this be right. I need this love, this friendship.

And then two nights later, after my mom and dad had gone out to dinner and a movie, we'd thrown open every door in the house and chased each other naked through the windswept rooms, and around the outside of the house, and then fallen onto my bed, where we kissed and coaxed, and stroked each other, but going no further.

I raise the pillow over my head and charge Niko, who really is laughing. At least I charge as best I can on my knees across the bed. He puts his hands up in self- defense and I land him a good one on his shoulder. Feathers fly up from just behind him.

Wham! Feathers fly as I smack him on the shoulder with my pillow. Laughing, he grabs my wrist and pulls me to himself. I kneel beside him at the headboard, laughing. All fun and games right. I raise my eyes to his and see he isn't laughing anymore but rather looking seriously at me.

Slowly, he lifts his arm off the headboard and tucks a blond lock of hair behind my ear. His touch is electric and his deep brown eyes pulse with sensuality. Intoxicating.

I rise up from my haunches and tentatively bring my hand to rest on his chest. My hand is burning up on his macho chest, his body so hot compared to the early evening air. With our eyes locked, a magnetic force draws us together.

Slowly, he parts his lips slightly and closes his eyes. I do the same. I feel his strong hands pulling me in tighter, our chests and stomachs pressed together. I slip my own hands under his arm and up his back. He slips a knee just between my thighs, and the sensation of our naked legs touching, makes me vocalize my appreciation.

"Mmmmm…" I say as his tongue whips around my mouth.

I sink a little and sit resting on his knee, turning my face up so as not to lose his lips. He gives me a little squeeze and I bite his lower lip. Holding it there between my teeth, I can't help but smile as I open my eyes. He smiles too and I release him. We start laughing and I push my weight on him, causing him to fall backwards on the bed.

"Ahhh!" he yells as he slams his shoulder into my waist, sending me flying onto my back on the bed in my room.

He pounces on top of me, pinning me down with his weight by sitting on my hips. Grabbing my wrists, he laughs as he pins them to the pillow over my head.

"Are you ticklish?" he asks, one hand with dancing fingers raised in the air.

His hand plunges to my armpits and stomach with terrifying intensity.

"Don't, Niko! Don't! Aha ha ha."

The tears start rolling down my face and he pushes his weight harder onto me, driving his hard dick against my stomach. I feel it wet there, his balls discharging their sticky juice onto my legs. It drips down the inside of my thighs.

He's relentless in his tickling, his face a mask of pure glee.

"You want the real thing don't you, Corey?" he growls throatily into my ear.

Then he reaches down and grabs himself. He drives his hips against me. One pump, two, he starts rubbing himself down over my stomach and chest, and up through my armpits to my wrist, leaving a sticky trail behind him.

He leans back slightly, his left arm still taut, holding mine to the mattress, and pulls on his cock until it's hard as a rock.

"You wanna play with it?" he asks, laying it against my chest.

He grabs the pillow and tosses it to one side. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me to the head board. I kneel beside him, sitting back on my feet. We just look at each other for several long moments. He reaches up and tucks a lock of blond hair behind my ear, then rests his hand on my shoulder. I lift my right hand to his chest. Then, a slow, but determined rise to kneeling again, we face each other.

Getting closer and closer, we pause for what seems like an eternity, moments apart, looking into each other's eyes. I can taste his milk and honey breath on my lips. The moment is beautiful and excruciating. I look into those big brown eyes and can't wait. Ever so gently, he kisses me and there's an electric dance on my lips. I bite his lower lip lightly.

I lay down, resting my head on one of the pillows. His delicious weight crushes me and we sink further into the bed. He closed his eyes, and moves to kiss me. His lips meet mine. So full, so exquisitely careful with me, as if I may break or disappear. Running my hands up his back, I grasp his shoulders and use them as leverage to hold him closer.

He's excited. So am I. We both are. His skin is so warm and smooth. Sliding down my torso he rests his head on my thigh and pushed a hand up over my chest. Running it over my stomach, back and forth, with his other arm he hugs my leg. I ran my hands through my hair and allow them to rest comfortably behind my head. He leans down and kisses my stomach.

"I love your stomach. I love kissing your stomach almost as much as I love kissing your lips," he says, pulling himself up to meet my face again.

I slide my hands down his back and grab his butt, pulling his hips against mine.

Bending my knees up, I rest one leg over each of his, who sits straddled facing me. A foot apart, we begin to explore each other. Both naked, sitting comfortably interlocked on the bed, I trace my hands over the muscles in his arms as he kneads my shoulders. I stare fascinated as his chest contracts and relaxes with the slightest effort from his arms.

Letting my right hand slip off his bicep, I sketch a trail from his belly button, up his stomach, and over his chest, and around the back of his neck. He closes his eyes and let's his head fall forward as I run my fingers through his thick, dark hair. Releasing my shoulders, he pulls his warm hands over my chest and stomach, pausing and squeezing as he goes.

I let my head fall forward and our foreheads rest together. I feel his breath on my lips. Soft and long. Tilting his mouth up, he kisses me, gently biting my lower lip and emitting a gentle growl. A purr of contentment. With my left hand, I massage his thigh; he has strong, powerful legs, tapering to charmingly delicate ankles, only enhancing the development of his calf muscles.

He smells so good. I can't take it, this exquisite tantalizing of the senses. Placing my hands on his chest, I playfully push him backwards. He laughs, his brown eyes sparkling at me. I sit on top of his hips and gaze down at my Greek god.

If I thought I was in love before, I discovered now how such a love, when reciprocated, can flourish into obsession. He became my sun. And I in turn did my best to be his planets, moons, asteroids and comets. I was happy. This was a magical night, I thought, had been an unusual magical day.


The last few days have been the best ever. Every chance Corey and I get, we start kissing and hugging. And that's most of the time it seems. We're always out and about, and being alone in the country has its advantages. We're able to hold hands most of the time since no one is around.

We ran into the twins again earlier today and we both just stood there staring and drooling. After we had finally left them and continued on, we started talking about them.

"Damn, those two are fucking hot," he said to me. "I'm so fucking horny right now, Niko. Can we go somewhere and make out for a while? I need some relief."

"Sure, Corey. I had the same idea in mind. I've been dying to suck your dick. Now seems like a good time to try it. I've never done anything like that before, you know."

"I know," he said. "Neither have I, and I've wanted to like forever. Let's go, hurry," he said, grabbing my hand.


I finally did it! I finally got to suck another boy's dick, Niko's to be exact, and it was better than I could possibly have imagined. I never knew something could be so much fun.

After we left from talking to the twins, I was so horny I just couldn't stand it. A week ago, I would have had to have settled for going home and jerking off, but now that him and I are boyfriends, I knew what I wanted to do. It was my first time ever to touch another boy like that, and boy was I excited, and scared.

It was just after lunch and I knew both my parents would be gone for several more hours at least, so we headed straight for my house. As soon as we stepped through the back door, he grabbed me and kissed me hard on the mouth and put his tongue down my throat, and I did the same as we stood there, rubbing each other's asses and crotches.

I could feel that he was as hard as a rock, as was I. He reached over and pulled my shirt over my head, and started kissing my neck and worked his way down my chest, stopping to suck and bite my nipples, as he worked his way down to my stomach. He did that for several minutes, before standing back up and kissing me on the lips again.

I pulled his shirt off and did the same to him, worked my way down, before I slowly unsnapped his shorts and pulled the zipper down, and watched them drop to his ankles. I had never seen another boy as big before, close to six inches, at least not a live boy, and I was excited beyond words by what I was about to do. I had seen plenty of pictures on the internet, so I knew what to do at least.

I reached out and touched him through his underwear, and his whole body just shook and he moaned really loud as he shot his load. Seeing that caused me to lose mine as well. I just watched in amazement as he let go. We hadn't lasted five seconds it seemed, but it was the best five seconds of my entire life.

We both recovered after a few minutes and I couldn't wait to try it again. I had been dying to do this forever, so I quickly grabbed his boxers and pulled them down and swallowed him before I could chicken out.

He probably didn't last even a minute this time before he let out a loud moan, his eyes rolled back into his head and he blew another load, right down my throat. I swallowed it all, it actually tasted kind of salty and sort of sweet as well, not at all like I thought it might I actually didn't mind swallowing it. My first time ever to taste another boy, the first of many I hope.


If I died right now, I would die happy. I never dreamed getting my dick sucked could feel so fucking good. After Corey finished with me, I quickly dropped to my knees to return the favor. I had been dreaming of doing this for a couple of years now, and it was finally about to happen.

I quickly unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them and his boxers down to his ankles, where he quickly stepped out of them. There he stood in all his naked glory, hard as a fucking rock. The boy has a nice size cock, at least five inches I would guess, and I couldn't wait to get at it.

I put my hand on his butt and squeezed it as I pulled him toward me. I'd always wondered what it felt and tasted like to suck dick. I shrugged, only one way to find out. I leaned forward and quickly engulfed him and he just as quickly got off, lasting less than a minute I would say. But wow! My first time ever was the most fun I believe I've ever had in my life. I never knew anything could be so fucking hot!

After a few minutes, we bent down, picked up all our clothes and made our way to his bedroom, where we could continue. I followed his hot ass up the stairs, just admiring the way it moved up and down as he took each step. I couldn't help myself, he has a beautiful ass after all, so I reached out and touched it and ran my hand over it as we went up. When we got to the top, I noticed he was hard again, as was I.

This time we took things more slowly and went for several minutes, just hugging and kissing as we rolled around on his bed, rubbing our naked bodies together, jerking on each other's hard cocks, and running our hands and tongues all over each other's bodies and asses.

Finally, we worked our way around into a position where we could both take each other's cock in our mouths at the same time. I think that's called sixty nine. I licked and sucked him, he did the same to me, we licked each other's balls and ran our hands and fingers in each other's ass, anything we could think of.

After about fifteen minutes of doing all this, we both shot our third load of the day, down our throats, on our faces and chests, everywhere. It felt so fucking good and everything just seemed right about this whole thing.


Niko and I started taking drivers education classes this week, at the high school. I've already been driving a little here anyway, you only actually have to be fourteen to get a learners permit in Kansas, and my dad had been taking me out on the back roads and teaching me. But finally, here in another month, I'll be able to get a real license.

"You gotta get a car, Corey," my brother Josh had said to me. "Best thing that ever happened to me. You have no idea what it's like, kid. You're free to go anywhere you want, to do anything you can think of."

There was a faraway gleam in his eyes, and I had a feeling he was not completely in the room.

Niko and I will have so much more freedom to go places now, but both our dads have said we need to find some type of part time job. They'll help us out buying a car, in fact my dad said he would match whatever I have and help me find a good car. He even offered to buy it for me and I could pay him back, so I wouldn't have to wait.

I sometimes think I have the greatest dad in the world. He's always helping me out with my problems, and listens when I need to talk to him about guy stuff. I'm just terrified that all that would end if he ever found out about Niko and me, and all the stuff we've been doing here lately.

Ever since that first day and that first kiss, we can't seem to keep our hands off each other. We've tried just about everything imaginable, except the one big thing. I'm kind of scared of that, but also anxious to try it. I mean, it must be fun if gay guys do it to each other, right. But somehow, the time just doesn't feel just right yet. But before summer is over however, I intend to try it.

I know what to do, I figured all that out by looking at the internet, all those pictures and videos of all those hot boys fucking and sucking each other. Yeah, I want to do it; it's just a matter of working up the courage to try it.

All I can say is, wow! Niko and I at this point seem like a sure thing… to some degree. That is both scary and very, very exciting. I can't wait to call him. I can't wait to hold his hand, and for that moment when we unite our lips.

To feel his tongue inside my mouth and to place mine in his is pure ecstasy. Feeling his body pressed to mine, and to have our arms wrapped around each other. I just want stare into his big brown eyes and stroke his hair and lips all day.

One night I went to his house to visit while his parents were gone. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss. I drank him in. He wore a light green and white t-shirt with our high school emblem, a green hornet, emblazoned over his right chest muscle. It fit so nice and taut over his arms and chest, draped over the top of his worn jeans.

He cocked his head and smiled with the corner of his mouth. A lock of black hair fell over his forehead, which he brushed away with a momentary annoyance.

He pulled me toward the couch and put a movie in. I don't remember what it was or anything. He held me as I sat between his straddled legs. His hands were soon moving up my shirt, sending flashes of light across my eyes.

I couldn't handle it any longer. I needed to have his mouth on mine. With my head tilted over my shoulder, I devoured his spirit, his essence with my mouth. As long as we were locked together like this, I gained all the sustenance I long for.

Oh! So many days and nights spent imagining this. Here it is and I'm no longer dreaming. Still ravishing me with kisses and massaging my chest with his left hand, his right spread over my thigh and held firmly. I drew my hands around and placed them on his thighs, mimicking his gesture. I could feel the power of his muscles through the denim.

We moved to his bedroom and I scarcely ripped my mouth from his as I undressed and helped him out of his clothes. We stood with our shirts off, and I grasped his package through the faded jeans as we kissed.

The feeling of my skin against his was almost unbearable. The smell of his cologne, mixed with the salt and sweat, was dizzying me. I dropped to my knees, unbuttoned his jeans and let them fall to the floor.

I began using my tongue to full advantage and he let out a loud moan. He lasted less than five minutes, but god what an amazing five minutes.

I was dying to tell someone about Niko and me. A few days later, my sister and I were together in the kitchen and I decided I could trust her not to tell anyone.

"Tara, can I talk to you about something important later?" I asked my sister.

"We can go out back and talk now, Corey, if you want," she answered.

She grabbed my wrist and stood up, motioning for the door.

I made a mock protest, but quickly headed out the back door with her in tow. We walked out behind the house to a little secluded area by the trees, and sat down at a picnic table. She sat down on the table bench and I sat on the opposite side.

"So, give it up. What's so important you needed to tell me, Corey?" she asked. "What did you do Friday night? You get stoned or something?"

I shook my head.

"Tara, I can trust you, right?"

She nodded fervently, with the most sincere expression on her face I'd ever seen. It was the expression to say, of course you can trust me, you can tell me anything.

"Well, I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to breathe a word of it to another living soul!"

This time she said the words out loud. "Of course you can trust me, Corey. You can tell me anything! I won't breathe a word, I swear… now what is it?"

I clasped my hands in front of me; I was looking down at my thumbs and twiddling them. I was finding it so difficult to look up and make eye contact with her.

"Well, I want to tell you a secret… about me."

She nodded, continuing to stare as I looked at her face. This time her expression was saying, duh!

"I have not told this to anyone, Tara… ever. But I want to tell you now because, you know, you are my big sister. And I have to tell someone."

She was now literally squirming, knowing she was about to get the juiciest of gossip ever. She leaned in towards me, waiting with baited breath.

"Tara," I said, "I am…"

"You are… what? Pregnant?" she asked, sarcastically, annoyed by the suspense.

"I'm being serious here, Tara."

She rolled her eyes and then reestablished eye contact.

"Tara, I'm gay."

Now, she again verbalized her last expression.

"Duh! So what's new about that?"

I just stared at her.

"I am revealing to you my biggest and most profound secret of my entire life, and you hit me with sarcasm?" I sneered.

"Corey, I have known you are gay for a year now. Big fucking deal! Well, I guess it is about time you figured it out." She smiled sincerely at me. "So, how did you come to this realization?"

"Well, I've known for a couple of years," I said. "But, I think I'm in love."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh really… who is he? Anyone I know?"

I shook my head.

"I can't say."

"You little fucking shit. Yes, you can. Now tell me; you cannot leave me hanging like this. Who does Corey have the hots for?"

"No, it's not like that. It is not that I have the hots for anyone. It is more than that. Much more. And we have done stuff together. I mean like sex stuff."

"No way. Corey, you have got to tell me. Who is it? I promise I won't tell anyone. You know you can trust me."

"Nikolas Mayer."

"You fucking liar! Now be serious."

"I am being serious, Tara. I spent all weekend with him while mom and dad were gone. We went to the movies, and to the mall, and then we sat outside and watched the sunset. We stayed in his room all night having sex, we had breakfast together, we worked out… and we took a shower together."

"You little fuck, you're not lying. Oh my god! Nikolas Mayer is queer."

"Niko is not a queer," I retorted. "Don't ever say that!"

"Just chill, Corey. I'm sorry. He is gay then, whatever. He had sex with you and now you think you're in love with him. Let's just say he's not heterosexual."

She looked at me imploringly.

"Tara, why do you always have to go around labeling people? What does it matter if he's gay or not?"

"It doesn't shit head, at least not to me. But you seem to be all concerned about it. I think you are a bit mental to be honest. You say you are in love with this guy, but then get all mad at the idea of him being queer. It's like you want him so bad, but you don't want him to be gay. How can you have it both ways?"

"I don't fucking know," I screamed. "You just don't understand. I just don't understand. You are right. I don't want him to be gay. Cause if he is gay, then it makes him a fucking fag. And I love him because he's not a fag."

"Now you're the one who is labeling, kiddo. 'Fag' is just a derogatory term. It doesn't mean anything. Niko is not a fag unless he says he is… or unless someone else does. Whatever. But he is gay. If he's having sex with another guy, he's fucking gay."

"People think of gays as being freaks, limp wristed sissy boys. Niko is not like that. He's totally the opposite of that. He is just a regular guy, masculine, funny, somewhat athletic. He is not some sort of pussy or anything like that."

"You got that right, Corey," she said. "He's fucking hot, just a little too brainy for my taste. What a waste."

"Thanks a lot, Tara," I said.

"Oh, sorry, Corey. I didn't mean anything about you. I meant he's very cute. A lot of girls are going to be disappointed when they find out, that's all. Let's just settle this; Niko is gay, but we won't call him a 'fag.' How's that?"

"I don't know, Tara. But you have to keep this a secret. I mean it. If you blab to anyone it will ruin both our lives. Please. I'm trusting you. But I wanted to tell you because I just had to share this with someone, and you are my sister, and I couldn't tell Josh. I wouldn't tell him anything."

She shook her head, agreeing with the last statement.

"Corey, I swear I won't tell anyone, but I want you to be careful. These people in this town, and this state, are so redneck. Especially the churches," she said. "They will not accept you. I do not want to see you get hurt. I care about you too much. Do you know what the bible thumpers would do to you if they found out you were gay? Those people hate you, Corey, they despise you, and just because you're different. You don't know how much they hate you because you're passing. Those people are like the Taliban; if they get into power, people like you are royally screwed. I mean totally fucked. 'Love the sinner, hate the sin.' What kind of shit is that? Those people wanna love people like you to death."

"Thanks, Tara. Don't worry about that. I am happy for the first time ever in my life. What will hurt me is if something or someone hurts Niko. So, please keep my secret. Please don't tell a soul."

She made a motion to cross her heart.

"Give me hugs. I'm so happy for you kiddo, and I'm glad you finally came out of the closet, at least to yourself anyway." I smiled at her before we headed back into the house. "So, how hung is he?"

"Tara!" I exclaimed. "What the hell kind of question is that?"

I could feel my face turning red from embarrassment.

"Sorry Corey," she said. "That just slipped out."

I smiled and said, "It's alright. A little over six inches actually."

"Oh, my god!"


Corey and I finally got our driver's license's today, after a month of drivers ed. We also made a couple of friends like us, Noah and Erik. I think they might be gay, just from the way they act and look at each other at times, but I have no way to know for sure.

Maybe it was because I was attracted to guys, but I sensed something between them. Mainly it was something in their eyes as they looked at each other. When they touched, it was always for just a moment too long, as if they secretly yearned to hold each other, but knew they couldn't in front of others.

Noah always seemed the most happy when he was with Erik. Even Erik seemed happier when Noah was around. Corey said I was crazy, that I was just imagining it, but I wondered if they weren't like me and him…

They are kind of cute, and Erik has one of the nicest asses I have ever seen. Corey and I are not going to say anything to them just yet, not until we completely figure out how they might react.

My dad bought himself a new car a couple of weeks ago and gave me his old one, an eight year old Pontiac Grand Am. It's kind of a blue green color and still looks and runs real nice. His only stipulation was that I need to pay for the gas, oil, and minor repairs. I guess that means I need to find a job of some sort.

Him and Mr. Winthrop, that's Corey's dad, are going to be opening their own computer store here soon, probably right before school starts, and have already told both of us they will hire us at minimum wage. That should actually be fun, working on computers and other electronics, as well as selling new ones.

I have my own laptop at home, and I use it to help me do my school work and other research, download music, and the occasional movie, and generally just cruising various websites. I know I shouldn't, but I sometimes find myself looking at some of the thousands of gay porn sites, looking at the cute boys, and imagining what I would like to do with Corey, and other boys as well.

Hell, I even briefly thought about uploading some pictures of me, but I figured that probably wasn't a good idea. I'm under age, and it would probably be illegal anyway. Plus, it may come back to haunt me one day.

Him and I have done just about everything imaginable, except fuck. I think he wants to here in the near future, and I know I'm dying to try it as well. The next time one of us had the house alone I think we're going to try it. Why not, the time is right I think.

We've licked and sucked each other's cocks, balls, nipples; hell, as disgusting as it might sound, we've even licked each other down there. That's so fucking hot, hotter than I would have imagined. It seemed gross at first, but I saw how much fun it looked by looking at the pictures and videos I downloaded, and decided, what the fuck. Try it and if you don't like it, you never have to do it again. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, I really enjoyed it and he seems too as well.


Disaster nearly struck today. My older brother, Josh, was home for the weekend from college, and caught Niko and me making out in my room. He just barged in without knocking, because I had foolishly forgotten to lock the door.


He stood in the doorway, gawking at Niko and me making out. I quickly grabbed the covers, throwing them over myself and Niko.

"Fuck," I said.

Surprisingly, he turned around and walked out of the room. Niko sat up and ran his hands though his hair. Thank god, we weren't completely naked, but we did have our shirts off as we rolled around on the bed. How embarrassing. He was mostly cool about the whole thing however; he just kind of looked at us and smiled, before backing out and closing the door.

"Fuck is right, Corey. I'm sorry," Niko said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well… that Josh found out," he said.

I shook my head.

"No. You don't have anything to be sorry about. It's Josh's fault. He's always walking in, the fucker never has figured out how to knock on a damn door. It doesn't matter. I've been putting this off. This is a good thing."

I bent, kissing him and smacked his hip.

"Get up and get your shirt on."

I got off the bed and scooped my shirt off the floor and put it on. I didn't want to do this, but I knew I had to.

"Come on," I said. "Let's go talk to Josh. Sometimes I'd like to kick his ass, but he's my brother."

I grabbed his hand and led him down to the living room. Josh sat on the couch. He looked up as we walked in, took in our entwined hands and smiled.

"Josh, don't fucking start. Listen, this is none of your fucking business. But you're my brother, and I'm going to explain this to you once."

I let go of Niko's hand and sat on the couch, turning slightly toward him. It was then that I noticed him smiling. He didn't seem upset at all, not like I'd feared he would be. He just said that he knew, and had known for almost a year. Both Niko and I talked to him for about twenty minutes, and he said he didn't have a problem with it, but to just be careful.

"So, you're cool with me being gay, Josh?" I asked my brother.

"Yeah, I'm cool, Corey. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I've known for almost a year now that you were gay. I just wondered when you would tell me. I never expected to find out like this, but it's cool. I'm glad you found someone. I'm happy for you."

"So how did you know, Josh?" I asked. "Am I that obvious?"

"No, Corey, you're not obvious, at least not like you're thinking. Believe me, most people would never know. I just noticed that you never seemed to take any interest in girls like most boys your age, and the way you sometimes looked at other boys, with a hungry look in your eyes. It doesn't take Sherlock Homo to figure it out," he laughed.

"So, was that weird for you, Josh, how come you don't care?" I asked him.

"What?" he said.

"Seeing two guys making out like that," I replied.

"Not really," he said.

"You're not embarrassed to be with two gay guys, but you're straight," I asked. "How does that work?"

"Well, it's not like I think you guys are disgusting," he told us. "It's no big deal really. I think most people get curious at some point in their life. I tried it once. Found out it's not too bad at all if the person you're with knows what they're doing. I just like girls better, that's all."

"What!" I said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from him. "You had sex with another guy? How the fuck did that happen?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say I had sex with him, not technically anyway," he said. "I was drunk one night after I started college, and I let one of my friends talk me into letting him blow me. I couldn't quite bring myself to touch him, but I did enjoy it, I won't lie to you, although I will likely never do anything like that again. I'm not ashamed of having been with a guy though, although if you ever say anything to anyone, I'll deny it ever happened, and I'll have to kick your ass. In the end I think love is love, doesn't matter between whom."

"Lucky bastard," I heard Niko say.

Josh looked over at him and smiled.

"So, I take it that you would like to suck my dick as well, Niko?"

""Well, yeah, actually I would, or I would have at one time, but since I'm with Corey now, it can never happen. But yeah, the thought is very hot." He looked at me and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Corey."

"That's alright, Niko," I said.

Josh just kind of smiled and laughed a little at what Niko had said. He didn't seem to be upset by what he had said like I thought he might be.

I laughed at his off handiness.

"Thanks, Josh."

I still wasn't sure why nobody considered blow jobs, 'sex,' but I wasn't going to argue the point. Even former President Bill Clinton didn't consider it as being sex. Who was I to argue with a former President of the United States?

I also asked if he thought mom and dad knew, and how he thought they might react if they found out. He said they both suspected I might be gay, and while they weren't too happy, he was sure they wouldn't react too negatively. They wouldn't beat me or throw me out anyway.

Something to think about, coming out to my parents. I just want to do it on my own time, and on my terms, when I feel like the time is right. If they suspect, and haven't said anything by now, than it's probably reasonably safe I guess.


Corey and I made our first road trip together today since we got our driver's license last week. We drove over to Joplin, about forty miles away, to hit NorthPark Mall and Vintage Stock , a comic and used DVD store we had discovered during a previous trip with his parents.

As we walked through the mall, we briefly thought about causing a minor scandal by holding hands, but then thought better of it. Word was bound to get back to our parents and that's just something I'm not prepared to deal with right now. It would have been fun though, just to see the reaction on people's faces.

We came over to buy new clothes for school, which starts in two weeks. We both bought three new pairs of jeans and three shirts, as well as a few other things to go along with them. He asked me to buy at least one pair of tight pants and when I asked him why he said, "to show off that hot ass you have."

I just kind of laughed, and said that I would if he would as well. We both tried them on before buying them, and believe me, they really showed off his ass. He has a nice ass and these pants just highlighted it.

Normally, we both wear boxers and jeans that hang low and loose so you can't see anything. It always looks and feels like they are going to fall off, which can be a pain sometimes, but that seems to be the style these days. This drives both our father's nuts, as well as most adults, so this should make them happy. They wouldn't be happy if they knew the reason behind it, however.

We also bought some tight briefs that leave nothing to the imagination. These will be for special occasions when we plan to get together, if you know what I mean.

After we left the mall, we decided to stop at a restaurant to get something to eat before going home. This was our first actual date since we had come out to each other. Normally we would eat at Burger King, Taco Bell or some other fast-food place, but today was special.

We stopped at Ryan's so we could have their all you can eat buffet. While we were eating, him and I started joking around with each other and goofing around. As soon as the waiter had taken our drink order, he reached across the table for my hand, which he took in his own. An elderly couple across from us flinched and looked away.

"Are you embarrassed?" he asked.

"A little," I admitted.

"Fuck them. You shouldn't worry about what the breeders think. Just because they act like this is their planet, doesn't mean it's true," he said.

"You're right, Corey," I said as I looked at him.

I don't know what was making me sweat more, the way my heart was pounding in my throat, the tangle of nerves in my stomach, or the throb of my cock in my pants, as I sat there holding his hand.

I caught myself staring more than once over dinner. I couldn't help it. He drew me like a moth to a flame. I couldn't wait to run my hands through that blond hair later tonight. And those eyes. Damn, he had nice eyes. They actually sparkled when he smiled. And dimples. He had dimples. I hadn't really noticed them before. Of course, that could be because I hadn't seen him smile so much before we started dating each other.

I had a wonderful time at the mall, and the restaurant, joking around with him, and by the time we finally got home, I was happily exhausted. I stopped the car in front of his house.

"You want to come in?" he asked.

I yawned. "I better get home and get some sleep." I ran my fingers through his hair. "Although, I'd like nothing better than to come in and try to think of new ways of keeping you awake."

He nodded. "Okay, I'm pretty tired too," he said. "Talk to you tomorrow."

"Of course." I drew him close, and kissed him. "Sleep well."

"You too, Niko. Bye."

"Bye, Corey."

Later that night, after I had gotten settled, I was trying to decide if I should call him or not. Wait until tomorrow I thought to myself. No, I have to call him tonight.

I pick up my cell phone and dial Corey's number.

"Hello," he answered.

Corey. My heart skips to somewhere up near my throat.

"Uh, hi. How are you, Corey?" I ask.

"I'm good, Niko. How are you?" he asks emphatically.

"Good, good, I'm doing good," I say.

God, I sound like a complete moron.

"What are you doing now?" he asks. "You want to come over?"

Oh god yes!

"Umm, I was just reading a book, but I could take a break for a while. What do you want to do?" I ask.

"Well, we could watch a movie in my room or something."

He seemed to emphasize the or something part, or maybe I was just hoping and imagining what I wanted to hear.

"Yeah, sounds cool. I'll be over in about fifteen minutes, alright?"

"Great, see you in a few. Bye."

I quickly got dressed, informed mom and dad where I was headed, ran out to my car and drove over to his house and knock on the door. His dad answers the door and tells me that he is upstairs in his room and that I can go on up if I want.

I knock on his door, and it opens to a vision in dirty cutoff jeans and no shirt. He has a precocious smile, and those big intent blue eyes that haunt me.

I felt myself getting hard as I stared at his stomach and the trail of dark curly hair that rose out of his shorts and up to his belly button. He closed and locked the door behind him and crossed to where I was standing.

"Hey, you look great," he says, giving me a quick hug and kiss. "Come on in."

God, you're fucking hot, I think. He doesn't comprehend the magnitude of his looks or his charm.

He casually stood, right there in front of me, and unzipped his jean shorts. His thick flaccid cock fell out as he started to pull them and his boxers down. I think he smiled at me, but I didn't notice. I was staring unashamed at his cock.

As I stared, it started to swell, lengthen and stand up straight, finally doubling itself in size.

"Come here," he said and I obeyed.

He pulled me to him and put gentle pressure on my shoulders, forcing me to my knees. He took himself in one hand and slapped it against my face. With his free hand, he grabbed the back of my head and he forced the head of his penis against my lips. I didn't resist.

He started pulling himself and slapping it against my face. When he was really hard, he shoved it into my mouth, down my throat. I gagged. He put his hand behind my head and pulsed his hips. He hit the roof of my mouth, and pierced my throat repeatedly as my nose was buried in his pubic hair, which I noticed he had trimmed to almost nothing. How fucking hot is that?

I lifted my eyes to see him tighten his chest and grit his teeth. He moaned, and hot, thick liquid spilled into my mouth, pushed down my throat by his shaft. Salty. Like little rivulets of salt water spilling down my face. I couldn't breathe. He was filling my mouth. I tried to inhale through my nose, buried against his groin. He pulled out and traced his cock across my cheek, leaving a smear of cum.

He returned the favor, and as soon as I was finished, we got dressed and started talking to each other.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, sitting in his chair facing me, as I sit cross legged on his bed.

"How weird this all is. How much I'm into this, into you." I can't even look at him without smiling. "I mean, I knew I wanted something to happen between us the first time I saw you. I just never actually thought it would."

"Me too," he said. "I never thought it would either, but I'm glad it did."

"I think you're the most amazing boyfriend ever," I said to him.

Boyfriend. Have I used that word before? To him? God it felt good, not too scary. Okay, Corey is my boyfriend. Wow! Now, we just have to figure out where things go from here.


This story is part of the 2024 story challenge "Inspired by a Picture: Yin and Yang". The other stories may be found at the challenge home page. Please read them, too. The voting period of 29 August 2023 to 20 September 2023 is when the voting is open. This story may be rated, below, against a set of criteria, and may be rated against other stories on the challenge home page.

The challenge was to write a story inspired by this picture:

2024 Inspired by a Picture Challenge - Yin and Yang

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We'll Figure It Out

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