Outed
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 14
Friday was, perhaps, the best day of my entire life. It started out in bed with Brian, moved to a shower with him, where we did a lot more than just get clean, and continued on with him all day long. We spent hours walking through the fields and under the trees, holding hands all the time. We stopped so often to kiss that I lost count. Sometimes our kisses were simple and quick, and sometimes they were deep and passionate, and it took several minutes before we moved on.
Despite what we'd done in bed that morning, and in the shower, we made love several times during the day. He was insatiable, but then, so was I. I simply couldn't get enough of him. Every time I looked at him, I wanted him all the more. His firm, muscular body was irresistible. Knowing how good I could make him feel was something else I couldn't resist. It was wonderful and intense.
In the late morning, we were walking through the woods on the edge of the fields, when he suddenly pressed his hand to my chest, holding me back. He held his finger to his lips, indicating I shouldn't speak, then pointed just ahead. Standing there, looking at us from less than fifty feet away, wasn't just one, but two, very small deer. It was too late in the season for fawns, but they looked almost like babies to me. They were so cute and sweet I wanted to walk up and pet them. I didn't move from where I stood; I knew they'd run if I did. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close, then we crouched down to the ground to show them we weren't a threat. We sat there for almost half an hour, just watching the little deer. They slowly worked their way closer, munching on grass and stopping to watch us every now and then, until they were only about fifteen feet away. They showed no fear of us. Perhaps they knew that we wouldn't harm them.
We didn't make a move. After a good long time, the two little deer slowly turned and walked away, quite unconcerned with our presence. I smiled at Brian, and then kissed him. It was such a beautiful day.
Near noon, we stopped under the shade of a giant maple tree. It was in all it's fall glory, adorned with bright yellow and gold leaves, which also covered the forest floor below, like a blanket. We sat right down in them and pulled out a picnic lunch Aunt Sandra had prepared for us. We fed each other peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, then washed them down with cold sodas. I felt like I was living a dream.
I lay my head in his lap. There was a roof of yellow leaves above us. The scent of fall was in the air and it made me feel comfortable and content. He fed me grapes, one by one, as I lay there. There was something romantic about it, although it made me giggle. I was so happy when I was with him.
He lay by my side and we joined hands. We lay there in silence, enjoying the closeness and love. We drifted off to sleep and it was over an hour before we awakened. I woke up first and awakened him with a kiss. Hs smiled at me and, although it was a bit chilly, we made love on the soft blanked of leaves.
That night after supper, Brian and I took an old comforter and walked out to a little hill far enough from the house that the light wouldn't bother us. The night was cloudless and the stars looked like a thousand diamonds imbedded in a vast velvety blackness. We spread the comforter on the grass and lay down upon it, staring up at the tiny pinpoints of light, which looked so close; I felt like I could reach out and touch them.
"Look, there's the Milky Way," he said, pointing off to the right. "And the Seven Sisters."
I pulled him close and we gazed out at the vastness of space. I'd looked at the stars many times before, but gazing at them with him was different. I could really see them when I was with him. I could feel what they really were and truly appreciate their beauty. There were so many beautiful things in the world that most people just didn't see, even though they were right in front of their eyes.
He shifted around, then rested his head on my chest and sighed with contentment. I idly twirled my fingers through his hair as we explored the heavens.
"Look," I said, pointing to the southeast. "There's a satellite."
"Where?"
"See, the bright object that looks like a planet. It's moving way too fast to be a planet or star, and it's much too high for a plane. See it?"
"Yeah," he said in amazement. "You're right. I've never seen a satellite before."
We lay there in silence for a good long time, just looking at the stars and enjoying the closeness. I could hear his soft, quiet breath and feel his head upon my chest. His hair was silky and soft between my fingers. I was always happy when I was with him. I'd been through so much lately, but it was worth it. Life was good, at least for now.
"Do you think the world will ever change?" he asked. "Do you ever think there will be a time when guys like us won't have to hide what we are?"
I hope so," I said with a sigh, "but I'm not sure. There's always someone just itching to cause trouble and put someone else down. Every minority's been through this, African Americans, Asians, Native Americans… anybody who's different. I'm afraid there'll always be guys like Ashton around, but I think things will get better. I think little by little, people will eventually start to understand. It'll just take a long, long time. Things are already a lot better for gays in the larger cities. And of course, Chouteau Kansas will be the last place on earth it happens."
"That's for sure!" he said, laughing sadly.
We kept watching the stars until we grew chilly. Then we stood and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.
"I'm so happy to have you," I whispered. "I love you so much, Brian."
"I love you too, Scott, and I'm the one who's lucky."
He squeezed me tight and then we headed for the house.
We undressed and crawled into bed. We'd taken quite a chill in the night air, and the comforter felt good and warm. We snuggled up against each other like two little puppies. His naked skin felt so soft against my own. We fell asleep in each other's arms.
When I awakened on Saturday morning, Brian was holding me close. It felt so good lying in his arms. I smiled, and then he leaned toward me and pressed his lips to mine. We kissed softly, then more deeply. We made slow, deliberate love, giving each other as much pleasure as was humanly possible. Each time with him was filled with love, warmth, and sensual delight.
It was a good two hours later before we made it out of bed. Neither of us was eager to leave our warm nest, or each other. I slipped out of the bed and pulled him along with me. I led him into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot water splashed down upon our young, firm bodies. Even though we'd just made love, I couldn't resist kissing him yet again. We made out in the shower, then lathered each other up and rinsed each other off. Two in the shower was so much more fun than one.
It was too much to resist; his naked body… the hot water massaging us… the room filling with clouds of steam. My hands began to roam over him, caressing his wet skin. I explored his young body with my fingertips, then my lips and tongue. He explored me with his sensuous mouth, and the pleasure of it made me moan. We made love to each other, right there in the shower. It was probably the longest shower of my entire life, and definitely the most fun.
We dried off and dressed, then went downstairs and had a late breakfast. We were starving. The country air and all the strenuous physical activity had given us voracious appetites. I don't think I'd ever been so relaxed, or so content as I was with Brian that weekend.
Mark arrived early Saturday afternoon, and to my delight, Ryan was with him. We weren't really expecting Mark until later in the day, but both Brian and I were happy to see him. You might have thought we would've considered his early arrival an infringement on our time alone, but we'd already had lots of that, and besides, he was a good friend, no, make that a great friend. Not only had he stuck up for me time and time again, but also, he was making two ten hour round trips just so we could have some time alone together. Not many friends would do something like that. Besides, Brian and I could be ourselves in front of Mark and Ryan. They accepted us for what we were.
We had planned a bonfire and weenie roast for the early evening, and we were more than happy to have them join us. Brian sharpened two more roasting sticks while I started the fire. Pretty soon there was a good blaze going. The logs sputtered and hissed, and the fragrant smoke smelled of sassafras. I loved the aroma of wood smoke.
There was a definite chill in the air, but it was all nice and toasty near the fire. I breathed in deeply. There was nothing like the scent of fall, especially in this part of Kansas. Brian was laughing and smiling as he talked and joked with Mark and Ryan. It made my heart lighter just to see him in such good spirits.
Ryan couldn't get the hand of spearing a hot dog on a stick, and he wound up mangling his almost beyond recognition. I tried not to laugh, but a loud chortle forced it's way out. It was just too funny.
"Let me help you with that, Ryan," said Brian, impaling the hot dog for him.
Except for Mark, we were all city boys, but I don't think Ryan had ever been out of town. His ignorance of the country was pretty obvious. On our way out to the bonfire, he had stared at the cattle like they were some kind of weird, exotic animals. I don't think he'd ever seen such a thing before. He definitely needed to spend more time on Mark's farm. At least he seemed pretty good at roasting a hot dog, once Brian put it on the stick for him.
"How's Andrea?" I asked.
"Nice, very nice," said Mark meaningfully.
Ryan picked up on that instantly. He had keen senses when the topic was sex, no matter how veiled.
"So, you two have been, uhm…"
Ryan's voice trailed off. He didn't know how to ask what he was asking without saying the wrong thing.
"Yeah," said Mark, wiggling his eyebrows and laughing. "Oh, yeah!"
"Man!" said Ryan, shaking his head. "Am I the only one not getting any around here?"
Brian and I looked at each other and grinned. Neither Mark nor Ryan failed to pick up on what passed between us.
"I'm afraid so," said Brian, patting him on the back.
"Someday I'm just gonna explode!" yelled Ryan in frustration.
We all laughed at that, except him.
"It's easy for you guys to think it's funny," he protested. "I'm serious."
That just made us laugh harder. It took quite a while to get ourselves under control. We roasted hot dogs, gulped sodas, and talked. It was great to spend time with Brian and my friends. Aunt Sandra's farm really was a magical world where all our troubles were kept at bay.
Ryan had an even bigger problem with the marshmallows the he did the hot dogs. He could get them on his stick alright, but each one turned into a flaming torch moments after he stuck it in the fire.
"I swear, Ryan," I said, taking the charred stick from him, "we're gonna have to sign you up for remedial marshmallow roasting class. Here, like this."
I demonstrated how to toast the marshmallow a golden brown, without catching it on fire. Even after my lesson, he still couldn't get the hang of it.
All too soon, it was time for Brian and our two friends to depart. I wished they could've stayed longer, but we'd had a wonderful time. Brian packed up his things and threw them in Mark's truck, and Aunt Sandra came out with a big bag of just baked chocolate chip cookies for their trip home. She thought of everything. Mark smiled when she handed the bag to him. Apparently, he'd really enjoyed the last batch.
I hugged Brian tight and said goodbye, then kissed him on the lips, right in front of Mark, Ryan, and Aunt Sandra. Mark and her smiled, but Ryan turned away, slightly embarrassed. As the truck pulled away down the gravel driveway, tears welled up in my eyes. I already missed him even before the truck was out of sight. My heart ached for him, but I knew it'd only be a couple of days before we'd see each other again. Aunt Sandra put her hand on my shoulder and led me back inside.
She was so cheerful that my mood was soon much improved. She was always happy. She was one of those that could see the good in everything.
"You really love him very much, don't you, Scott?"
It was more of a statement than a question.
"Yeah," I said wistfully. "I really do."
She smiled.
"I can tell. The way you look at him, and the way he looks at you, speaks volumes. There aren't many people who find a love like that. You're very lucky."
I sighed.
"I know, but sometimes I don't feel so lucky."
She gave me a sympathetic look.
"I know honey, I know."
She came over and gave me a hug.
I felt so safe in her embrace. I wished yet again that she was my mother. How different everything would've been then.
Aunt Sandra and I talked while she made supper. Her voice was like a song that eased my heart. I loved her so much.
Loneliness touched my heart as I climbed into bed that night. The double bed seemed so empty without Brian. Of course, I wasn't thinking much about the bed when he was there. That thought brought a smile to my lips. I awakened a few times that night, thinking he was still there with me, then reaching out and finding only blankets and a comforter. He had only been gone a few hours, but I already missed him. I'd grown so accustomed to sleeping with him at my side that I was restless without him. I took his pillow and put it lengthwise on the bed, the snuggled up against it, pretending it was him, breathing in his sweet scent that was still on the pillow, a scent sweeter than any cologne. My arms ached to hold him close. That's what I missed most; just holding him. When we made love, what I loved the most was just being with him. It didn't matter what we were doing, as long as we were together.
I helped her out all the next day. There were endless things she needed done around the farm that she just couldn't handle by herself. I was glad to keep occupied and to help her out. She'd certainly helped me.
I've been thinking about something, honey," she said casually, as she was putting away some dishes. "You and Brian seemed so happy here on the farm. I wonder…"
She stopped for a moment, as if wrestling with a difficult decision.
"Wonder what?" I asked, curiously.
She frowned slightly for a moment, then shook her head.
"It's not my place to suggest it," she began, "but your mother is my sister. Perhaps she'd listen to me."
She really had me going now. I eyed her curiously as she walked over and sat next to me at the kitchen table, the afternoon sun illuminating the grey highlights in her hair.
"Scott, I know you're unhappy living at your parents' house. And no matter what you might think, they're trying to do what they think is best for you," she said.
I rolled my eyes.
"My parents don't even know who I am." I retorted, not liking the direction the conversation was headed.
"Listen to your Aunt Sandra for a minute," she said. "Since your Uncle Rodger died two years ago, I've gotten along alright by myself. But I've been thinking… I could use some help out here, just to help take care of the land, maybe even plant some crops again."
I remembered back several summers ago when I used to come out here to help her and my Uncle Rodger with the farm for a few weeks over summer vacation. I was only twelve or thirteen then, but it seemed like a lifetime ago, almost like something from an old home movie.
She looked at me, her eyes softening.
"I was thinking… what if I talked to your parents and explained my situation. What do you think about the idea of coming out here to stay?"
The thought struck me like lightening.
"What?" I asked, knowing this had to be too good to be true. "You mean… move out here? Permanently?"
She smiled and nodded.
"Only if you want to," she began. "And there'd be rules, of course. There'd still be school, I'd insist that you at least graduate from high school."
Tears sprang to my eyes.
"You mean…"
She nodded.
"If you want, and if your parents will give their permission. And Brian can come visit whenever he wants, and maybe he could come out during summer vacation."
I practically leaped out of my chair and spun her around, squeezing her tight.
"Oh, Aunt Sandra… you don't know what this would mean to me!
"Now, now," she said, half laughing. "This isn't exactly a done deal just yet! Don't you say a word about this to your parents. Your mother is very stubborn, and this will take some doing on my part to convince both of them. See if you can hang on for a little while, maybe until Thanksgiving, then maybe we can make arrangements during the vacation break. That way, you can start school out here after the first of the year. We'll try it for a few weeks, and then see how things work out."
I nodded, to overcome with emotion to speak. I'd only want to move if Brian could come and visit. Fortunately, his school has given him no problems, at least so far anyway. I know they have to have heard about him and me down in Welch, but he says everything is okay. Him and Charmain are still pretending to date, which helps out a lot. And while his parents weren't too thrilled when they found out he's gay, they haven't really given him any problems. At least I didn't have to worry about that, and he wouldn't have to worry about me if I lived out here. For the first time, there was a real solution to my problems. I just had to survive for seven more months and then I would graduate and be able to move on with my life.
Soon it was six p.m. on Sunday evening, and mom arrived to take me home. She and Aunt Sandra chatted like two hens in the kitchen, so it was another hour before we finally departed. I was getting sleepy. I'd done a lot of work that day, and my muscles ached. I knew I'd be sleeping during a good deal of the five-hour drive home, and it would be at least midnight when we arrived. I had no doubt I'd have trouble getting up for school the next morning. It didn't matter. Our little vacation was worth it. I couldn't wait to spring the big surprise on Brian, the moment I saw him the next evening.
Right before we left, I gave Aunt Sandra a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. I loved her for all she'd done, and what she was going to do in the months ahead. She actually had tears in her eyes as we parted. She was the kindest soul I'd ever met.
Mom drove like a little old grandmother on the way home; it was almost one a.m. before we pulled into our driveway. I crawled into bed almost immediately. The five-hour road trip was tiring and I hadn't got much rest on the farm. Brian and I had slept in the same bed every night, but a lot of our time wasn't spent sleeping. Even when we were so exhausted that we nodded right off, one or the other of us would awaken during the night and wouldn't be able to resist touching the other. That never failed to result in us 'getting it on' as Ryan put it.
Despite my fatigue, I couldn't fall asleep right away. I'd grown accustomed to having him by my side, and I felt his absence keenly. I wanted nothing more than for the two of us to be together forever. It'd only been a day since I'd seen him, but I already missed him so much I cried.
I dreamed of him during the night. In my dreams, we did a lot of things we'd done on the farm; we rode horses, we took long walks, we talked with Aunt Sandra, and we made love. My dreams that night were the best I'd experienced in my whole life.
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