My Best Friend is Gay
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 8
I arrived at the Chouteau Café about ten minutes later and saw Spencer was waiting for me at a booth near the back.
"Finally. I have been waiting for hours and I'm starving," he said as I arrived.
"If that's true, you're an idiot," I told him.
"You're late," he reminded me.
"Yeah, sorry," I said. "I lost track of time."
"Sorry enough to buy me lunch?" he teased.
"No," I said.
"It was worth a shot," he said.
I sat down across from him and we browsed the menus. I tossed mine to the side.
"Aren't you hungry," he asked.
"Yes, but I already know what I'm going to order," I said. "French toast."
"Oh, yeah," he said. "I think I'll get that as well."
"I know you want to be me, Spencer, but you don't have to eat what I eat," I teased him.
"Ha!"
"You'll want to be me after I tell you about the last lawn I mowed," I told him.
"That does not sound exciting," he said.
I leaned in close.
"I fucked Ms. Shields in the shed after I finished," I told him.
"You fucked Karen's mom?" he asked. "No way!"
"Not so loud," I said.
"I want details," he said.
"Hold up," I said. "Here comes Shawn."
"Hi, guys, what can I get for you," he asked.
"What's a talented football player like you doing in a place like this?" Spencer asked.
"How original," I said.
"Waiting tables to earn cash, so if you don't leave a big tip, I'll beat you up in the locker room," Shawn said.
Spencer's eyes widened with fear.
"He's kidding, Spencer," I said. "We both want French toast. I want bacon and iced tea too."
"Yeah, me too," Spencer said.
"I'll put this right in," Shawn said.
Spencer leaned across the table as soon as Shawn left.
"So, you really did it?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Right on a bench in the shed," I said. "I pounded her good."
"Holy shit!" he said. "You fucked Karen, and now her mom. You are a god!"
I grinned.
"I was scared for a few moments after we finished," I admitted.
"Why?" he asked.
"I didn't even think about a condom," I said.
"Shit, dude," he said.
"She told me she's on the pill," I told him.
"Lucky for you, but think of it, you could have been the daddy of Karen's little brother or sister."
I shook my head.
"Damn, you have all the fun," he said. "Did she come onto you or what?"
"Yeah," I said. "She came onto me. She even grabbed my dick in the shed."
"All the cool stuff happens to you," he said. "I could mow lawns for women all day every day and that would never happen to me."
"It could happen," I said.
"Maybe I'll start mowing lawns," he said, grinning.
"Have you scored recently?" I asked.
"Only with my right hand," he admitted.
"You two have been going steady for a long time," I teased.
"Jerk," he said.
I laughed.
"I don't have to jerk," I said. "I'm to busy getting all this pussy to have to do that anymore."
He flipped me off.
Shawn brought our iced tea and soon after delivered our French toast.
"I had forgotten how good this stuff is," Spencer said. "It's so good, it might be better than sex."
Him and I looked at each other, grinned, and at the same time said, "nah!"
Cody's parents entered the café and took a booth diagonally across from ours. My eyes followed her and my bulge grew larger. Spencer watched her too, until I kicked him under the table. Cody's dad was facing away from us once they were seated, so I could safely check out Ms. Atkins. Her eyes met mine for a moment and I smiled seductively. You know you want some more of this. She looked back at her husband, who wasn't anywhere as fit as me. What was it with guys once they got married? They all turned into slobs. That would never happen to me. No teen boy was going to put it in my wife.
Spencer grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows.
"I need another MILF or two, or three," I said.
"Seriously?" he said. "After what you just told me? Don't be greedy. I haven't had one yet."
"Keep watching for your chance," I told him. "It will come. Older women want it bad."
"That's easy for you to say, Philip," he said.
Cody's mom looked in our direction, so I stretched, causing my shirt to tighten across my muscular chest. I also rubbed my crotch for a moment. She looked away again, but Spencer watched me intently.
"I have to remember your moves. Think you'll get some from her again?" he asked cryptically.
"I don't know, but I hope so," I said.
"What about Karen's mom?" he asked.
"Almost certainly," I said. "Oh, did I tell you she paid me twice what I usually get to mow their lawn?"
"I always knew you were a whore," he laughed.
"Ha!" I said.
"Take your time eating," he said. "Spike is standing tall so we cannot leave anytime soon."
I laughed. Spencer had named his dick Spike when he was thirteen. Right after he named his, I named mine Tiger.
"You never know," I said. "Maybe Spike will attract a MILF if you let them see the bulge he creates. There are a few of them here."
"I think you're just trying to get me to embarrass myself," he said.
"You'll never know," I said.
"I'm just entertainment for you, aren't I?" he said.
"You are entertaining, but no," I said. "You know better. Who has taught you all his tricks for seducing girls?"
"True," he said. "I wish they worked as well for me as they do for you."
Cody entered just then. Spencer's eyes followed him as he walked to his parent's booth. He sat beside his mom. He nodded to me. I nodded back and looked away; so much for flirting with his mother.
"What do you think he'd do if he knew?" Spencer asked.
"I don't know," I said, "but it might involve a shotgun or a baseball bat."
"Don't you ever get scared?" he asked, putting a forkful of French toast in his mouth.
"I have no fear," I said. He shook his head. "You never know. If Cody found out, maybe he'd want to double team his mom with me."
Spencer nearly choked laughing.
"Maybe you should ask him," he said when he could speak again.
"I think I'll pass," I said.
"I thought you had no fear," he said, grinning.
"Yes, but I'm also not suicidal," I said. "Hey, maybe I can do your mom and you can join in."
"Eww!" he said. "That's disgusting."
"Ha!" I said. "See? You aren't really into incest."
"I am in theory," he said.
My sister, Valerie, entered with one of her friends. I couldn't remember her name. I pretty much considered all of her friend's pests, even those who had a crush on me. Valerie seemed startled when she spotted me, but then smiled. The pair took a booth in the back of the restaurant.
"She's going to be hot soon," Spencer said.
"Listen, pedo," I said.
"Hey, I said soon, although she is a little hot now," he laughed.
"She's fourteen," I said.
"Which means she'll be sixteen in a couple of years," he said.
"My sisters are off limits," I said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I said so," I said.
"Come on, Philip," he said. "Considering some of the things you've done, your sisters should be fair game."
"What I have done changes nothing," I said.
"You have a double standard," he said.
"Yes, I do, and my sisters are off limits," I told him. "I do not want a guy like you near them."
"They could do worse than me," he pointed out.
"Eh-eh," I said, moving my hand in a so, so gesture.
"Man, if Mary was my sister…" he started.
"We are not going into this again, Spencer," I warned, glaring at him.
"Oh, that was Spike talking, not me," he said, grinning.
"Spike talks too much," I said.
"He's certainly demanding," I said. "If he talks about my sisters much more, I'm going to punch him and his two friends who hang out just below him."
"Oww," he said, putting his hand over his crotch.
I grinned and took a bite of my bacon.
"It hurts merely to think about it," he said. "Don't your nuts hurt when you see another guy take it in the nads?"
"Actually, yes," I said. "Getting nailed there is the worst."
"Yeah, I remember when you took it in the balls during P.E. that time, a baseball right to the nuts," he said.
"I thought I was going to have to stay curled up forever," I said, cringing as I thought about it.
"That was so awful it wasn't even funny, until later," he said.
"Well, for me, it didn't begin to be funny until days later," I said. "I swear, it still hurt the next day."
His eyes roved over the front half of the Chouteau Café . I couldn't see what or who he was looking at because I was facing in the other direction, but my guess was he was checking out girls. Spencer was a horn dog, which is one of the things I liked about him.
"You know you're my only real friend," I said.
"You have lots of friends," he said.
"I don't really," I told him. "All the guys on the team are sort of my friends, but I don't hang out with any of them alone like I do you."
"That's because I'm special," he said, laughing.
"I know I give you shit sometimes, but… I'm glad we're friends," I said.
He paused. He seemed stunned by my words.
"You want me to hold your hand?" he asked after a moment.
"Listen, jerk," I said, "I'm trying to have a moment here. If you're going to make fun of me, you can go fuck yourself.
"No, I tried that," he said. "It didn't work. Spike's big, but there are things even he can't do."
I laughed. He gazed at me.
"You're my only true friend too," he said.
I struggled to hold in all the smart-ass comments that came to mind.
"Ha! You can't stand it, can you? You're dying to be a dick," he said.
"You know me too well, but thanks," I said.
He grinned.
I couldn't flirt with Cody's mom anymore, and Tiger calmed down, so we departed as soon as we finished eating, paid the check, and left a tip big enough that there was no danger of Shawn kicking our asses.
We stepped outside. September had come, but it was still wonderfully warm out.
"You seem less tense than you have recently," he remarked as we walked down the sidewalk.
"Do I?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "Wait. Are you holding out on me? You hooked up, didn't you?"
"I just told you about Karen's mom not half an hour ago," I reminded him.
"You still seem… different," he said.
He looked at me and I gazed back. I paused. Did I want to get into this? He was my best friend and after my talks with Steve, Shawn and Michael I was a little less freaked out than before.
"I've been having these dreams," I said.
"Oh, sex dreams, huh?" he said.
"I didn't say that," I said. "I've been having dreams that are very vivid and real. You know how it's difficult to remember dreams? I remember these as well as I do my life. They were really freaking me out."
I quickly explained to him about the dreams I had been having about boys having sex with each other. He listened intently but said nothing until I finished.
"What changed?" he asked.
"I had a talk with someone named Michael," I said.
"Michael? Do I know him?" he asked.
"Probably not," I said. "He was an older man I met earlier today when I was out running in the park. He seemed to know my name, so I started talking to him and the next thing I knew I was telling him what I just told you."
"You told a complete stranger about a gay sex dream?" he said. "Are you nuts?"
"Yeah, maybe," I admitted. "But anyway, it turns out that Michael is Coach Barrett's husband. I didn't even know he was married. And they even have a little boy named Ryan. He's probably seven or eight. Did you know about the coach?"
"I've heard he has a partner and I think someone mentioned that they had a kid as well, but I never knew their names," he said. "Cool."
"Anyway," I continued, "we talked and Michael made me realize that it doesn't matter. I'm not gay, Spencer, but even if I was, I think I would be okay with it, eventually anyway."
"So, you think you would be okay with being gay?" he asked. "That's weird, thinking about you being gay. I'd be cool with it, though. But somehow, I just can't see it. You like girls too much."
"I do love the ladies," I said. "And the thought still freaks me out somewhat."
"I understand," he said. "Let's change the subject. You know if I happen to get the chance to hook up with a hot babe while we're wondering around town, I will abandon you in a heartbeat, but only until I'm done with her."
"Your loyalty is astounding," I said.
"I'm merely following the motto you taught me, 'ho's before bro's'" he said.
"Okay, I forgive you," I said. "If Cody's mom had wanted to hook up, I would have left you sitting alone in the booth at the Chouteau Café ."
"You'd do her right there with her husband, son and everyone else watching?" he asked.
"You're an idiot, you know that, right?" I asked.
"That's why we're such a good match," he said. "We're alike."
"Yeah," I said. "Hey!"
Spencer often made me laugh. That's one of the many things I liked about him.
"If I had a dream…" he started to say.
I held up my hand.
"You don't have to tell me," I said. "Your dreams would be a nonstop orgy."
"I would need a break now and then," he said.
We both laughed.
"Anyway, that's what up with me," I said. "My dreams were freaking me out, but now they're not, at least not as much. Don't laugh at me, but for a while there I began to think I might really be gay."
He grinned and I could tell he was suppressing a laugh.
"I'm going to punch Spike here in a second," I told him.
"I'm sorry, but it is kind of funny," he said. "I know it's not actually funny, but… you know. I'm glad it's not bothering you anymore."
"Thanks," I said. "I don't think I know any more about it than I did when I started, but I realized it doesn't really matter because things are as they are either way. I'm not gay."
"That's easy for you to say," he said. "Your life is awesome!"
"Yes, it is, isn't it?" I said, puffing up my chest and attempting to appear as full of myself as possible. I smiled at him. "If you think about it, your life is rather awesome, too."
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