Disowned
by Victor Thomas
Chapter 18
Kenny
The phone blared over and over again. So many calls and texts had come through from Javier and not another. I just stared at the screen, watching his name in bold, pulsating with each ring. I muted the phone and hid it under my pillow. Life sucked in so many ways. The only good thing was that mom wasn't home.
Soon, I lifted the pillow, but dropped it immediately. Javier was still trying to reach me. I fought against the tears that moistened the corners of my eyes.
I'm not going to give that sick bastard the satisfaction of making me cry like a baby.
I closed my eyes and imagined Javier. I could smell his fresh shower scent and the faint musk of his cologne. I missed him so much my soul hurt. It was painful to open my eyes and see the gloomy empty room.
A heavy sigh escaped my mouth when I heard the kitchen door slam. My shoulders dropped and I rested my head in my hands, counting the seconds before mom would notice I hadn't cleaned the kitchen. Her footsteps echoed already in the hallway.
"What did I ask you to do?"
She stood at the door; her arms crossed.
"I just got home."
I looked away.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
I shrugged.
"Nothing."
I hardly convinced even myself, but what could I say. That someone at school was blackmailing me to break up with my boyfriend? I wasn't willing to start a war, so I forced a weak smile on my face and stood up.
"Something happened at school?" she asked.
"Nah, I just… miss Hannah."
I glanced at her.
Her face softened.
"You need to talk to her."
After she left, I collapsed back down on the bed. I wanted to be alone and process the avalanche of emotions rushing through my body. A teardrop appeared in the corner of my eye and fell down my face. It was followed by another, and then my body began to shake. A lump grew in my throat. I buried my head in the pillow, and my hands touched the phone.
I took it in my hand and stared at the black screen with my watery eyes. Javier had stopped trying to call me. I shut if off completely, and in the back of my mind, I was concerned I had just done the same for our relationship.
"Kenny," mom called. "Dinner is ready."
"Two minutes," I shouted, wiping my eyes.
"Now!"
Slowly, I slid off the bed and trudged to the bathroom to wash my face. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't able to wash away my troubles, and when I looked in the mirror, I saw a miserable boy with red eyes and swollen eyelids. I blew my nose and closed my eyes.
"Kenny!" mom's voice came from the kitchen. "The food is getting cold."
"I'm coming," I snapped.
When I got to the kitchen, she was already sitting at the table. There was a plate full of chicken and mashed potatoes set on both sides of the table. She gestured for me to hurry and sit down. After I had taken my seat, she smiled, nodded slightly, and took her fork and knife. I followed the example.
I wasn't hungry and had hardly eaten a fraction of the portion when I lost the last tiny bit of my appetite. Bravely, I forced the fork into my mouth again and again, crushing the tasteless chicken with my teeth and swallowing it piece by piece. I managed to eat almost half of it before I gave up.
"Eat all your food." She gave me a disapproving look. "There are starving kids in Africa."
"I'll ship this there," I said, pushing my plate toward the middle of the table.
"How dare you talk to me like that!"
"Sorry, mom. It's just that… I'm not feeling really well."
She didn't give me the emphatic look I expected, but glanced at me, narrowing her eyes. I stood up, grabbed some Tupperware from the cabinet, and filled it with the left overs. It was clear they would find their way to my plate tomorrow. I sat the box near the fridge to cool down and turned around. My heart began beating faster.
The only way to out play Joshua in his sick game was to tell her before he did. Regrettably, I wasn't sure whether I was brave enough to do that. I studied her until she turned her head. Our eyes met which made me hesitate even more.
"Um, about Javier…" I started, but the words stuck in my throat.
"It's better you let him spend time with his other friends," she said. "You don't want everybody to think you're gay, do you?"
I swallowed.
"Of course not," I blurted out.
"Why don't you go and call Hannah. It might cheer you up."
I certainly wouldn't call her, but it would have been stupid not to use the opportunity to leave for my room. Once I got there, I thanked myself for not saying anything I would regret later. The sun was setting below the horizon, but the sky still had a little color. I sat on my bed and stared out at it.
You're smarter than this, I motivated myself. There has to be a solution.
Several minutes passed without an inkling of an idea, even though I racked my brain for a way around the issue. If I told mom, she would do everything to keep me away from Javier. Which meant either transferring to another school or kicking me out.
I sank onto the bed and met the swiftly darkening sky with my eyes. I surrendered. There was no way around this.
I can't be with him.
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