Starting Over

by Tony A

Chapter 2

Towards the end of the class the teacher mentioned that our projects were due by the end of the week. Then he looked pointedly over me and Cole.

"Matthew, I could make an exception for your group of course because of your..." He hesitated, "- injury".

Everyone in the class turned to look at me like I was an alien or something. I felt so embarrassed. " Yeah, no... I mean I'm fine" As I stumbled my way through that sentence and embarrassed myself further. "I think I can do the project with Cole's help". I said with a smile as I put my hand on his shoulder. When I did that everyone looked at me even stranger, even the teacher.

"Okay, that's good then," He went back to talking about the importance of this project because it counts for 30% of our grade in the class.

I still wasn't quite sure what this project entailed but I knew this was important and I have to keep my grades up, regardless of my memory loss. So I knew I was going to have to ask Cole when we could work on it.

Just as everyone was leaving class I pulled him aside. "Hey, Cole do you have a minute?"

"Um, well I have couple but I don't have much time before the next class starts." He said awkwardly as he looked towards the door.

"Okay, well I was just wondering when we were going to work on the project. You heard Mr. Evans, this project grade is important."

He stared at me blankly at first like he didn't understand an inside joke or something. "Are you being serious right now?"

"Yes, why?"

"It's just that I've been doing the project by myself, even before the incident. You didn't have any part in helping me."

I perked up when he used the term 'incident' instead of 'accident'. I'll have to remember that for later. "So you're saying I didn't try to help with our group project at all?" God, 'past me' is starting to sound like an asshole.

"I mean I was used to it. I mean people like you don't usually notice me much. You basically ignored me and made it clear that I was going to do all the work. I'm okay with it though, I'm pretty good at science," He looked up at me shyly, then looked back down quickly like he was scared to make eye contact.

It was then that I noticed his surprisingly long eyelashes, they gave his face a softer look, but in a good way. I don't know why I'm noticing all his little details, but I have a weird feeling that this isn't the first time that I examined all his features. I have a feeling that 'past me' looked at him the way that I'm looking at him now. It's curious why I would be looking at him like that way though, especially now that I've learned about our history or lack thereof.

"Well I don't know why I acted like that before, but obviously I've changed. I do want to help with this project. So, how about we get together tomorrow after school. You can come over to my house and we can work on our project." I felt a bit guilty though, because I had ulterior motive, I wanted to learn more about Cole.

He looked stunned again. I seem to do that to him a lot. "Wait, so not only do you want to help with the project but you want to meet at your house?"

"Yeah. I'll drive you to my house tomorrow after school and we can get started right away." I looked over Cole's shoulder and saw Kevin looking for me in the hallway. He has to show me to each of my classes so that I don't get lost. "I gotta go, but I'll meet you by your locker tomorrow afternoon and we'll go from there."

"You know where my locker is?"

"Yeah I saw you in front of it this morning. Just because I lost the memory of my past doesn't mean I can't remember things now," I stated with a smirk.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," He responded bashfully.

"Okay see ya," As I walked off I thought I heard Cole mumble 'what just happened?'

Lunch. I didn't think lunch would be such a big event in high school. But it is, it's a time when teens finally get to let loose and hang out with their friends. And when something big happens to a student in school that's all people can talk about, like for example someone losing their memory. So yeah, I was the talk of lunch and I had a bunch of people gathered around me. Most of them were jocks and they were all focused on me. Scary, isn't it.

So now I'm around a group of jocks who are scheming up ways to get revenge on the guy who knocked me out on the field. His name is Roscoe Thomas. What kind of name is that anyway, it's like he mixed up his first name and last name. But anyway, they're explaining to me the 'incident'. It's weird having people talk about your life and you don't remember any of it.

"So, did he get in trouble at all for putting me in a coma, even if it was an accident?" I asked timidly, they were all looking at me and making me feel uncomfortable. I don't know how anyone could get used to that.

"Yeah, the jerk did get in trouble, but it was bogus. He got suspended for a week for 'violent behavior' or some kind of bullshit, but this asshole needs to pay for what he did to you. No one messes with our boy and gets away with it. He basically made you a cripple." The loud-mouth who said that is Sam, he's like the leader of this jock pack. He's always the first one to talk and in my opinion, the most annoying.

"I'm not crippled, I just have memory loss" I said quietly because I knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. I guess they all see me as a 'cripple'.

"I said 'basically' crippled. We know you're fine, man. You'll be back on the field in no time buddy!" Sam shouted, and then all the guys around the table shouted 'yeah' as well and some of them even nudged me as if I would be happy about all this attention.

What they don't realize is that I don't really have any desire to play football again, especially after what happened last time that I was out there. Also, I don't even think I would know how to play football anymore.

"Yeah, maybe we could like, knock him out and put him in a coma as well." That was a meat-headed guy named Blake. He is the definition of a dumb jock, he's a big, hulking linebacker, and if he wasn't so dumb I'd be kind of scared of him.

Kevin jumped in real fast before things got too crazy,"Hey, guys, hold on. I want to get back at Roscoe just as much as the next guy. He messed up my best friend after all, but I think we should do something less drastic. We cannot put him in a coma, that's just not gonna fly." Kevin seems to be the only person thinking logically in this group. Maybe that's why he was -- is my best friend.

"Thanks Kev," I said gratefully.

He looked frozen for a second and just stared at me, "You just called me 'Kev'," He said excitedly.

"I know".

Everyone was now looking back and forth between us and had the shocked looks just like him. What did I do now?

"That's what you used to always call me"

"It's not like I remembered that or anything. I just guessed that since your name is Kevin your nickname would be 'Kev'." I mean isn't that pretty obvious. But I looked at them and they all looked disheartened. "You know, now that I think about it, maybe I did remember. That nickname does seem familiar to me." I lied but it was worth it to see the joy on his face.

"Thanks man" Kevin said as he patted me on the back.

Some over enthusiastic kid named Brandon piped up, "You know what I think we should do. We should beat up his car with a baseball bat, and just totally destroy it. I hear he has a nice Mustang."

"You guys know that it was an accident. It's not like he meant to put me in a coma." I finally spoke up. But when I pointed out that it was an accident everyone looked at me like I was a very naive little child.

"Yeah, sure, it was an... accident" Kevin said quietly like he didn't really believe what he was saying.

I thought my life would get easier the more I learned about my past. I guess I was wrong.

This was only my first day of school and I was already feeling so overwhelmed, maybe I wasn't ready for this. Now I'm in my last class of the day and probably my biggest dilemma has just come up. Where should I sit. Kevin told me that I can sit where ever I want in this class because there are no assigned seats. That's all he told me before he left to go to his class. I thought that would be fine except but I realized that both Ava and Cole are in this class. Now I have to choose to either sit next to Ava my 'supposed-- whatever' or Cole who means nothing to 'past me', but possibly something to me now.

Now I'm standing in the front of the class looking like an idiot trying to figure out where to sit. Then Ava sees me looking lost and starts walking towards me.

She's standing too close to me, "Hey babe," She says while caressing my arm. "I saw you looking lost. I guess you didn't see me sitting right over there." She said while gesturing to a desk not far from where I was standing. Ava has this intimidating demeanor where everything she says sounds snarky and sarcastic.

"Uh, yeah I saw you," I said distractedly while looking over at Cole. I noticed he was looking at us curiously, but when he caught me looking at him he quickly looked away.

"So..." She looked at me expectantly, with the usual amount of attitude in her tone.

I looked at her and just examined her for a second. She was skinny in the right places and curvy in the right places as well. She had nice long curly brown hair, nice sharp features, and big brown eyes. But the more I tried to examine her the more uninterested I became. I didn't feel the same desire to look at her details like I did with Cole. I don't understand it. I'm supposed to be dating her, right?

"Matt. Matty, hello are you losing your short term memory as well." She said with a smirk.

First of all, I don't ever want her to ever call me 'Matty' again and second of all, I can't believe she would make fun of my condition.

"Yeah, you know what, I think I'm gonna sit over there." I said with just as much snark as her, while pointing towards Cole's direction.

"What, are you joking?" She asked insulted.

"No, 'babe', I'm not." And then I walked over to the seat next to Cole's and sat down.

"Matt, I know you can't remember much, but that was your girlfriend that you just blew off." Cole said frantically.

"Don't worry I know what I'm doing and trust me I want to be here. You're the only person that isn't totally complicated and annoying right now." I remarked with a sigh.

He just smiled at that and I noticed how his eyes sparkled when he truly smiled. There I go again, noticing his every detail. I don't care what anyone else says there has to be something between me and Cole in the past.

"Are you just trying to embarrass me right now." Ava hissed as she came up behind me, I turned to look at her as I smiled nicely in response. "You're supposed to be my boyfriend." She whispered.

"From what I've heard we've only really been 'talking' for the past couple months and we're not even official. Also, I've had a long-ass day and I just want to sit somewhere that's more... quiet." I said simply.

Her eyes went wide with offense, "You're an asshole now, you know that!" She basically shouted, as she stormed off. I knew what she was doing she was purposefully making a scene to make me seem like the bad guy.

I looked over at Cole and we just shared knowing smiles at each other.

For the rest of the class Cole and I were exchanging looks back and forth as if we could communicate without saying a word. I don't know what it is about this kid but he just has a good presence, it's more like he has a good aura around him. Yeah, that's what it is, I like his 'aura', it's bright yet quiet, it's simple and just plain good. That's a lot more than I can say for most people I've met. We barely said anything to each other the whole class, but it just felt right being with him, being near him. It was easy.

I looked over at Ava and saw her fixing her hair in a little compact mirror. Come on, who carries a small mirror with them. I just studied her for a minute and wondered how I ever got involved with her. It couldn't of been easy, because it certainly doesn't feel easy now. Her aura is not bright or simple at all, it's chaotic and loud. I don't get good vibes from her, I feel like she doesn't even care about me.

I let my mind wonder for a second and just imagine what me and Ava would be like, together. It would probably be us, at mall, because she wanted to go shopping, and I would reluctantly agree, then I'd end up carrying all of her bags, while she would ignore me and never once look back to see if I was okay. Ugh, I don't think I could handle that. There's no spark there, between me and her. No connection.

Then I look over at Cole. He's writing notes about something that the teacher is lecturing and his mouth is moving slightly to the words that he's writing. His mouth, those lips, they looks so soft, almost too soft to belong to a boy.That's when I started to imagine the possibility of being with Cole. I wonder what it would be like to touch a guy in 'that' way. I don't remember if I ever did in my past, who knows. But going back to his lips, I wonder if his lips would feel just as soft touching my lips. Then maybe those lips could possibly go down further, and maybe kiss my neck, then go down further until his lovely lips are kissing my dick-- Oh god. Oh my god, I think I'm getting hard.

All this thinking about Cole's lips has got me as hard as a rock in my jeans. This is the first hardon I can ever remember having. How the fuck do I deal with this, right now in class. I started looking around frantically to see if anyone had noticed my -- condition. Then I finally looked over at Cole and he was looking down at my lap, more importantly my hardon. I quickly put my hands over it, while he blushed a bright red and looked away from me.

I felt totally mortified, and yet this just further proves to me that I have more feelings towards Cole than I ever could for Ava. Cole, who is apparently 'nothing' to me. This is going to make working on the project with him that much harder. I just don't know what I'm gonna do about this situation or about my erection.

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