The Journey
Chapter 1
By Sunshine Boy
A few notes: first, I just want to apologize to the people of British Columbia Canada for the way I brutally slaughtered the map of their province to suit my needs. Second, this story is a work of fiction based on a few real places; most of the places that I directly name are real. The characters and entire plot however, are totally imaginary and not based on any real people or events to the best of my knowledge.
Dedicated to my good friend Clayton.
For your massive repertory of borrowed TV quotes,
your honesty, advice, understanding,
and for just listening.
"It's a scam."
"No, it's not."
"Yes it is, it has all the signs Dan."
"Oh, so there are signs now."
"Yes there are, and I know them."
"Do you."
"You found it on the Internet for God sake, and they want you to pay them $1500 in cash for something that's not even tangible; like what the Fuck! You of all people should know better than this. And what for? I mean, how can you find something that's not even lost? Why are you doing this?"
The question hung heavy in the air as Dan lay back into the warm grass and gazed up at the soft white clouds drifting slowly by.
"It all looks so easy doesn't it? I wonder if all of this looks that easy from up there." Dan said dreamily.
"No no no, you aren't getting away from this, you aren't going to skip answering my question."
Dan propped himself up and looked at his worried friend. Then he glanced around at the grassy hill they were sitting on. The hill was only about the height of a person and was really just a small rise of earth against the far south wall of their high school. Classes had ended about 15 minutes prior and both boys had sat down on the hill as had become their custom, to talk and just hang out for a short time after school. As they sat, teachers drifted by on their way to the parking lot which stretched for 30 or so meters from the base of the hill. A few waved to the boys some even said 'good evening'.
"I suppose I need to learn who I am; I need to discover what I'm capable of. I want time to just 'be' somewhere. I don't mean like to be located somewhere I mean to exist somewhere. Do you understand?"
"Yes I do, seriously I do I just don't understand why you have to do it like this. This is so expensive and hard."
"Because I'm tired of being so lonely."
"Then get a girlfriend."
"That's the problem, it's way too easy to say and way to hard to do.... So far they've either left me within a few days or they've been like Bess McLean." Dan shivered.
"Ah Bess, what a pear-shaped looser." Beau grinned.
"Yes she's a lot of girl." Dan chuckled.
"But anyway, I want purpose and meaning in my life, I want a reason to live and someone to share it with."
"Let me see that print out again."
Beau took the paper and began to read out loud.
"'Have you ever heard someone say, 'for the one I love, I'd walk a thousand miles'? We've probably all said we'd walk that distance for something, or for someone. But what if we actually could? What if you could actually journey on foot a thousand miles and at the end of your journey be guaranteed the love of your life?' I'd have stopped here." Beau said. "This isn't about finding yourself, this is a dating service."
"Keep going."
"'Due to advances in science it's now possible to not only record and compute you're brain waves but also to use that data to your advantage. Studies have shown that what many would consider the 'perfect' couple have a distinct brain feature that they both share, a feature that no one else in the world has.' How can they say that? They haven't scanned us all." Beau protested.
"Keep reading."
"'How do we know? Well our brains are like computers only much more powerful and living. Just like computers electrical impulses are responsible for the billions of computations per second that the brain is capable of. Every time a tiny electrical charge jumps the synapse in the brain a tiny radio wave is produced. For many years scientists have theorized that not only do these tiny radio waves exist but so called 'psychics' tune into these radio waves and are able to literally hear others thoughts. The problem has been that the signal is so feeble no machine is able to pick up these signals except at incredibly close range. Until now that is. Receivers have been built that are capable of tuning into this frequency and amplifying it enough that with the help of a computer, a single frequency can be filtered out of the billions of brain waves emanating from all over the world. As long as the computer has been programmed with the distinct signature of a frequency it can be detected. So it's only logical that if a brain is monitored and it's special individual signature is identified then the computer can filter out that special signature from the static of all the world's brains and using a triangulation method actually locate that signal's source. Yes that's right it is scientifically possible to find that one special person what many would call your soul mate and it can be done for you.' My throat is getting dry, can I just read in my head?" Beau asked.
"By all means."
Beau silently read all 14 pages then looked at his friend. "So, for the computer to find your "signature brain wave" Beau said while using his fingers to indicate quotation marks. "It must analyze your brain over a period of approximately one month during which time you must experience a wide, and preferably extreme range of emotions. And that emotional range is achieved by walking a thousand miles though the mountains. After which they just flip on the radio, find the right station, and poof you have her?"
"Basically."
"What if she lives in Russia or some other far flung place?"
"Then I'll probably find her anyway. Besides, that's a risk I'm willing to take."
"What if she's ugly as hell?"
"That won't matter, we'll be soul mates. Who knows maybe just because of that fact I won't think of her as ugly."
"Ugly is ugly."
"But beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Yeah unless they're really ugly."
"Whatever."
"So why then do you have to pay them $1500?"
"Because they're a business that's selling a very precious commodity. I think that $1500 is a puny price to pay for true love."
"Oh Romeo, why not find a girl conventionally like the rest of us?"
"Too much work."
"And this isn't!"
"No, I mean, it's not certain enough, what if I don't find her till I'm like 70."
"Ewwww, old people sex. That's disgusting." Beau laughed.
"Well I was thinking more along the lines of 52 years of loneliness.... for both of us but yeah, now that you mention it, we'd be all wrinkly and saggy and yuck!"
Both boys started laughing. "Like a fried egg hanging on a nail!" Beau giggled uncontrollably.
After a few uncontrolled minutes of laughter during which the physics teacher walked by and inquired as to the nature of the hilarity and both boys had to stifle their laughter and tell him 'it's nothing' they managed to regain their composure and Beau stared to talk once more. "$1500 is a lot of money you know."
"Yeah, but one good thing, I sign a contract in the beginning that if I'm not completely satisfied I get it all back."
"Well that's a start but by then you'd have already walked a thousand miles and wasted a month of your life, a month I might add that you could be spending on conventional searching. Not to mention the disappointment."
"No not a waste, a whole month alone in the woods to think and an incredible life experience."
"Alone in the woods? Isn't that dangerous?"
"Nah, the little monitor they attach to me probably tracks my every move and I'm sure they would notice a sharp change in brain waves if I were in trouble."
"I'll be sure to give you my cell phone."
"There you go, I'll be fine."
"How do you know if this place is even reputable? Have you talked to the better business bureau?"
"Umm...yeah. I wonder what supplies I should bring."
"What did they say?"
"Who?"
"The better business bureau."
"Umm...nothing, they've never heard of this company."
"Ah huh." Beau said, his eyebrow raised. "There's your first clue Sherlock."
"It means no one's complained."
"No it means they don't exist, the bureau doesn't have their business license therefore they don't have one. Can't you just be patient like the rest of us?"
"What has patience gotten me, gotten either of us? A few short term relationships that ended in disaster with a handful of ugly girls."
"Not true, I thought Shauna was hot, I would have dated her after you two split up if I wasn't your friend... and dating her sister."
"She was ugly too. There are just no compatible girls around here."
"Then why don't you go to the university next year? You're bound to find her in that big population."
"No I've made my decision, besides what's the university compared to the population of the world."
"Have you told your parents?"
"No not yet. I'm confident they won't mind, and it's my money."
"Yeah sure they won't. How are you going to get there?"
"To Vancouver you mean?"
"Beau nodded."
"I was hopping that ummm.... You might...."
"No way, I'm not assisting in this madness."
"Come on Beau, you've got a car."
"So do a lot of people."
"But a lot of people aren't my best friend, you're my best choice."
"I really don't think I should."
"I'll pay for your gas."
Beau thought for a moment.
"Okay."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah, I'll even buy the gas...you know why? Cus your parents will never agree to this, so you see this is very safe for me."
"Just remember you promised.... and in a way you gave your blessing."
"No I didn't."
"You agreed to drive me didn't you, that must mean you condone it."
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