Soldier Boy
by Robert Symes
Chapter 2
Healing
This story is set in rural England in 1974. The cultural references are from that time and place so I hope that references to cars or music won't spoil the story for those who don't know them. Follow the links provided for more information or just ignore them. (And yes, I know you can use a search engine just as well as I can. The links are for convenience, not to insult anyone.)
Some controversial opinions will be expressed. Some are opinions I profoundly disagree with but I've tried to state them fairly, not parody them. It is this author's policy to have no opinions about anything, or at least not to state them. Any opinions you see on these pages are those of the characters or the site owner respectively and I neither endorse nor oppose them.
The next day Philip's parents insisted he accompany the family to take Granny to church and then have lunch with her. It was no hardship, he loved his grandmother and enjoyed the meal out. Afterwards he excused himself to use the facilities and stopped at the payphone to call Chris. "Well, yesterday was a bit weird wasn't it? I keep thinking about it. Can I come round later, say about three? Or are you still off me?"
"No that was me getting it wrong. I mean no I'm not off you not no you can't come here. Steve's gone off somewhere with Annette all day and Mum's going somewhere this afternoon so we'll have the place to ourselves. Three's perfect, I'll see you then."
Sitting between his two younger sisters in the back of the family Viva going home Philip felt really apprehensive. Christopher Langley was an old friend but yesterday's outburst had been a shock and he wasn't sure what to expect. He stared ahead through the windscreen unsure whether to wish his dad would drive faster or slower.
When he arrived at the Langley house there were no cars outside. Chris answered the door wearing jeans and a non-descript green sweatshirt. He looked Philip up and down. "Hello, Soldier Boy. I can't get used to the hair but you look good in your Sunday best and I bet you look good in uniform. Wear it for me sometime."
Philip laughed. "Kinky. I didn't think a hippy would have a military fetish. Anyway I haven't even worn it yet. Mum gone out then?"
"Yeah, some hippy shit most likely. That stuff's her not me." Philip looked surprised at the bitterness in his voice. "Sorry. Too much dope and too little judgement and it turns out 'free love' has a price after all. That's why Dad lives in London now; he couldn't stand the jealousy and it's her fault. Thank God the house was paid for and she has her teaching job or we'd be really screwed. That's private and I probably shouldn't have told you so keep it quiet please."
"Of course. And we need to keep us private too, if there is an us. My parents would go berserk. How about yours?"
"You know, I can't be sure but I really don't think they'd care that much. A couple of years ago, before Rick the dick, when Dad was still here, they were talking about some big riot in New York when the cops raided some gay bar called the Stone House or something. Mum and Dad both said it's a shame they can't just leave people alone to be who they are if they're not hurting anyone. It might be different if it's their own kid but I don't think Mum would dare lecture me about morals after… But I don't know about Steve."
"Let's play it safe then. Any chance of a drink? I'm parched."
"Oh, yes, sorry." Chris led them into the kitchen. "Tea or coffee? Or we could have lemonade, we got one of those Soda Stream things." They settled on fizzy lemonade and took it into the lounge. Chris slumped on the sofa and Philip stared. He wasn't sure if Chris had deliberately adopted a posture that made his crotch bulge prominently or if he was just noticing it now that noticing it was a possibility. Either way the bulge in the jeans was obvious and Philip couldn't help looking, while feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Chris noticed his expression and sat up straighter. "Sorry. Sit down. Have you had any more thoughts about yesterday?"
"I haven't thought about much else. I just haven't reached any conclusions. I think I told you yesterday that I can't seem to get off thinking about girls, and when I think about the girls at school there's no-one I'd want for a girlfriend. But all my life I've grown up thinking one day I'll meet the right girl and blahdy blah.
"I like you and I like being with you and I liked it when you stroked my hair and we both know where my eyes went just now. But the other stuff… Putting… things in my mouth and… other places. I don't know. Maybe if I tried it I might like it but I don't think so really."
Chris looked at the confusion and distress in his friend's face. Yesterday's events had really shaken both of them but Philip was having to suddenly confront something Chris had gradually come to terms with over months before the 'skinhead' shock had made him indiscrete. Perhaps he shouldn't have said anything but Phil was going to have to resolve it sometime.
"We're friends" he said now. "That's all we are and all we have to be. Friends with an interest in a certain direction. But we can do what we want, and not what we don't want. Okay? The things you were on about are illegal at our age anyway so that's an excuse if you want one. But friends do things together sometimes. Did you ever get with a friend and compare 'bits' or maybe toss yourselves off or something?"
"No!" Philip paused. "Well, maybe a bit in changing rooms, you know? But nothing else. Have you?"
"Not yet. But we could try it if you want. Lots of boys do. I caught Steve and his mate Denzel at it a couple of years ago. They had this Penthouse magazine and they were sat next to each other on Steve's bed looking at it and stroking away. Steve got really pissed off 'cos I went in his room without knocking and when I saw them I couldn't help laughing but I ran away before he could pull his trousers up. Both of them have girlfriends now.
"If you don't want to that's fine. I don't want you to feel bad. But you'd get to see what I think you want to see and I'd see what I know I want to and we're not doing anything 'normal' boys don't do. Unless we do, of course. So what do you say? Fancy an adventure?"
"What, here ?" Philip was attracted by the idea, but nervous. "What if your mum comes back? Or Steve? We might give him a laugh this time."
"Well there's a WI meeting at the village hall tomorrow. We could go along and give those ladies something to talk about." He laughed at Philip's expression. "Or we could just go to my room now. Mum and Steve won't come back for ages, and if they do we'll hear the car. Come on, if you didn't say no that means you want to."
"And it's just playing with ourselves together?" Philip was still unsure. "Nothing else? Not touching each other or anything?"
"Phil, it's whatever we both want it to be. No rules, no labels, just mates having fun. I'm nervous too, you know. I've had time to think and I think I know what I want. If that 'Brain Damage' song didn't mess my head up I don't know if I'd ever have said anything; I was so scared of how you'd react. I still am a bit but the way you look at me sometimes… And you did kiss me. But I'm not going to jump on you and I'm not going to try to make you do anything you don't want. That would scare you away and I don't want to."
Philip was still unsure, feeling a mixture of curiosity, excitement and nervousness. And then a sudden rush of irritation at his own indecisiveness. How bad could this be? And if it was he could just leave. He jumped to his feet before he could dither any longer. "Come on then Marianne. Let's prove my dad wrong about your sex. Before I change my mind."
" Okay then, Soldier Boy. Let's prove me right about army boys being dead sexy. You don't mind me calling you that do you? It's meant in a nice way."
"It's growing on me" admitted Philip.
Chris looked pointedly at Philip's trousers. "Good to know" he quipped. He stood up and led the way to his bedroom.
In the bedroom they stared at each other, wondering what to do. Of course, they knew what they were there for, it was a question of how exactly to go about it. Philip looked around nervously. "Are you sure this is safe?"
"We're alone in the house. The doors are locked. This bedroom is at the front where we'll hear a car, Citroen 2CVs have a unique sound and you can hear Steve's music from the next county. Now watch." Chris went to the bedroom door and locked it, leaving the key in the lock. "Now it will take an accomplished burglar to get in here, and I think they work at night. So relax." He opened the wardrobe and produced an old shoe box, from which he took a roll of toilet paper and some copies of ' Health and Efficiency ' magazine. "Not much in the way of porn available round here. This will have to do. If Mum ever finds the box she'll think I look at the women."
Philip picked one up and looked through it. "Wow, where did you get this? I never heard of it."
"Not round here, that's for sure. I don't think they sell it in town but sometimes I go to London to see Dad and you can get anything there. I wish I had the guts to explore Soho bookshops but I probably couldn't afford it anyway. Now, we're safely locked in, we've got reading material and cleanup paper so… 'Ground control to Major Tom , commencing countdown engines on.' Do you want to get naked or just drop our pants?"
Another dilemma. Philip realised he very much wanted to see Christopher Langley naked. This feeling wasn't even new, why had he never noticed it before? Perhaps because it had never been a possibility before. But the price was exposing himself. He remembered showering after Games lessons, resisting the urge to 'compare' less it be 'misinterpreted' and cause trouble. He wouldn't have to do that here. "Fuck it. If we're going to do this we may as well do it properly. I will if you will."
"I hoped you'd say that. Shall we have some music?" Chris put Roxy Music's ' Avalon ' album on quietly. He sat in the swivel chair by his desk, spun to face the room and motioned Philip to the bed. "Shoes and socks first." Then he stood. "Shirts on three, two, one, go!" They regarded each other topless as they unfastened their trousers. "Feeling brave? Rest on three, two, one, go!"
A second later they were staring at each other naked. Christopher was beautiful in that moment in a way Marianne Faithful could never be. He was real, and available, not a photo in the Sunday paper. "Remind me again," gasped Philip, "what did we need the magazines for?"
"Good question" managed Chris. "I don't need them now. Shall we start?"
They sat on bed and chair and watched each other avidly as they performed the familiar actions, rendered new and thrilling by the audience and the view. It would have been nice to finish together but Chris got there first. The sight of it sent Phil over the edge. They cleaned up with toilet paper as they got their breath back. Chris held out a waste basket. "Throw it in there. I'll get rid of it later."
"Fuck me! That was amazing." Philip was still staring.
"I'd love to, but not today. Let's not run before we can walk." The smile on Chris's face said he was teasing.
"I'm still afraid of falling down" admitted Philip. "But I think I'm the world's most determined toddler. I want to do this again, and more. Now I want to kiss you, for real this time."
They stood in the middle of the bedroom, stark naked, kissing passionately and running their hands through each others' hair. "Still awful, Marianne?" teased Philip. "But that's Dad's nickname. I can't call you that now, you're all boy. I think I'll call you Rebel. Still awful, Reb?"
"No, my horny macho soldier boy. Not awful at all."
The End
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