What We Are II
Summer Heat
by Richie Ryan
Chapter 7: Relationships
The light from the first large aerial bomb lit up the sky like a giant photo flash. Before the sound of the accompanying explosion had time to die out, the flashes from ten or twelve smaller bombs kept the night illuminated like a strobe light gone berserk. The sudden and unexpected brightness of the flashes, combined with the deafening cacophony of explosions that mixed and resonated across the lake, caused all of the occupants of the Bayliner to nearly jump out of their skin. Reacting on reflex to this poorly timed interruption, the back of Richie's head barely missed Kevin's chin when they both snapped into an upright position at the same time.
As the sound of the smaller explosions echoed, then disappeared into the surrounding forest, Kevin quickly stuffed his hard-on back into the tight confines of his cutoffs. During the few moments between the first and second volley of fireworks, Richie looked at Kevin with a smile that quickly stretched into a grin. Even in the dim light of the moon he could see the embarrassment on his friends face, and his grin turned into a laugh that lasted throughout the second series of explosions.
"What the hell's so funny up there?" asked Lindy from the back of the boat.
"Nothin," said Richie, still chuckling. "I was just laughing at the look on Kevin's face when the fireworks went off."
"Shit," said Kevin in a voice that only Richie could hear. "Just my fucking luck. I swear, if I didn't have so much bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. Fucking fireworks."
This caused Richie to begin giggling again. Although he made every effort to stifle it, he continued to laugh quietly for the next two or three volleys. Then, sometime between the fourth or fifth series of explosions, he leaned over to whisper into Kevin's ear while he gently patted his bulging crotch.
"Sorry about that, bro. Maybe I can still do something about this later."
This got a huge smile from Kevin despite the fact that his cock, refusing to deflate, pressed uncomfortably against the inside of his shorts.
The show that lasted for the next half hour or so, was accompanied by the obligatory 'ooohs' and 'aaahs' from the audience. When it was over, and the finale began to rip the sky apart, the flotilla of onlookers slowly began to disperse. Ready to take evasive action if necessary, the boys in the Bayliner remained anchored as they watched the others move away in as many directions as there were boats. Ten minutes later the lake in front of McCarthy's was empty of all watercraft. Once they were gone, the lingering smoke and acrid smell of gunpowder were the only remaining signs that there had ever been any show at all.
"What d'ya think, guys? Should we head back to the cabin?" asked Kyle as he stood to retrieve fresh beer for everyone.
"Sounds like a plan to me," said Kevin, returning to his seat behind the wheel.
What little wind there had been at the beginning of the show had died off completely. In its absence, the sultry and oppressively humid air clung to the boys' bodies like a blanket. Stripping out of their T-shirts, they settled back in their seats to enjoy the ice-cold taste of fresh beer while the motor warmed up. Grateful that his erection had finally gone down, Kevin glanced over to Richie who looked back at him with a huge grin spread across his face. Unable to suppress a smile of his own, he turned his attention back to the lake in front of them. With a smile still on his face, he slowly shook his head as he put the boat in gear, eased the throttle up to three-quarter speed, then headed for the cabin.
The wakes created by the other boats when they left their moorings, quickly merged with one another before disappearing altogether. With no waves to disturb the surface of the lake, it was transformed into a liquid mirror that reflected the soft, fluorescent glow of the full moon. The big boat planed off quickly, skimming effortlessly over the glass-like surface. Minutes later, guided by the mercury-vapor light perched high above them like a welcoming sentinel, Kevin eased the throttle back as they approached the boat-lift.
The ice-cold water that seeped into Gull Lake from the many springs along its shore, caused a light fog to blanket the surface from dock to raft. After easing the boat to within ten yards of the boat-lift, Kevin switched off the motor. Under his guidance the powerless craft coasted the rest of the way in, cutting a swath through the fog that silently swirled and drifted from their path. When they finally came to a stop, and the fog began to settle, the silence seemed eerily foreign to the point of being disturbing. For the next few minutes the six occupants of the Bayliner sat without speaking as they watched the mist gently swirl and undulate around them.
"Whoa," said Lindy in a soft voice, "they make movies about shit like this, don't they."
"Yeah," said Richie in a voice that was just above a whisper. "Like about now is where some dude in a hockey mask comes out of the water with a three foot butcher knife and plants it between your shoulder blades."
"Not funny, Andrews!" exclaimed Lindy as he moved to the center of the boat while he nervously scanned the fog covered water.
This got a huge laugh from others. It wasn't so much a laugh at Richie's joke, though, as a laugh edged in nervousness. More to the point, it was a laugh intended to mask their own feelings of uneasiness brought on by the ghost-like mist and eerie quiet.
"Well, you dudes can sit here and spook the hell out of each other all night if ya want, but I'm goin up to the cabin to mix me a beamer," said Kyle.
"I'm up for that," said a shaken Lindy as he quickly gathered up his shirt and towel.
"You guys go ahead," said Richie. "I'm gonna stay down here awhile and finish my beer."
"Yeah?" said Lindy. "Well when Jason jumps out of the water and starts chasing you with his butcher knife, lead him away from the cabin, would ya?"
"Sure thing, bro," said Richie with a smile.
When they had the boat emptied of all of their personal belongings, they raised it up on the lift. Satisfied that it was secure for the night, Lindy, Brian, and the three older boys raced up the hill toward the cabin leaving Richie alone on the dock.
Even though he knew there would be no Jason with a butcher knife - that he was just a character from the 'Friday the 13th' horror movies - the fog cloaked water and absolute quiet made Richie feel a bit uneasy as he walked to end of the dock. Despite the heat and high humidity, he felt a chill run through his body as the most graphic scenes from every horror movie he'd ever seen flashed through his mind. 'Me and my big mouth', he thought as he tried to rub the goose bumps from his arms. For a brief moment he felt the urge to turn back and run up the hill to join the others. He probably would have, too, if it weren't for the ribbing he'd get from Lindy and the rest of the guys. So, pushing all slasher-movie thoughts from his mind, he sat down, cross-legged, and took a healthy gulp from his beer. Jason and all the other knife wielding maniacs might be the product of some screen writer's imagination, but there was no way he was going to dangle his feet in the water on this night.
After a few more sips of beer, he began to relax and think about what Kyle had proposed the night before. He said he wanted a relationship that would enable both of them to meet other guys, 'explore new worlds' as he called it, without running the risk of hurting each other. More specifically, he wanted to break up, yet stay friends and continue to have sex together. After thinking about it throughout day, Richie decided that under the circumstances, staying friends and having sex could probably work for them. What he wondered about, though, was how long it would last - at least the sex part of it.
Although he believed Kyle when he said there was no one else that he was attracted to, now that they were no longer a couple he figured it would only be a matter of time before that person came along. He had no way of knowing, of course, but he suspected that ending a one to one commitment like theirs wasn't as easy as turning off a switch. This thought made him wonder how he would feel when Kyle did meet someone else, and had sex with him. Because of this, he hoped that it didn't happen any time soon. His thinking was that if he had some time to get used to the idea, it wouldn't bother so much when it happened.
These thoughts led him to wonder about his own roving eye of late. As he pondered this, that same image of TJ came into his mind, quickly followed by one of Brian. It was these images that made him think of another, completely different possibility.
'Whoa,' he thought. 'Is that what this is all about? Does Kyle know me better than I know myself? Am I the reason he wanted to break up? Has he noticed me scoping out other guys? Is he afraid that if we don't break up, that sooner or later I'll cheat on him? Maybe that's it! Maybe he wanted to break up because he's afraid of what I might do.'
The more he thought about this, the more it made sense to him. Not only was there TJ, but there was Brian earlier at McCarthy's, and of course Kevin in the boat tonight. Putting these thoughts into their proper perspective, he was now convinced that the real reason Kyle wanted to break up was because of him and his attraction to other guys. Even though he felt a little guilty about this, he still had to smile when he recalled the aborted incident with Kevin in the boat. 'Damn fireworks,' he thought as his dick twitched in his cutoffs.
'Wait a minute,' he thought, suddenly. 'It couldn't have been any of those things that made him think I was interested in other guys. We broke up last night, and those things didn't happen until today. Aw shit... of course... he's seen me scoping out other guys before - probably before I was even aware of it, myself.'
'God, that's it, for sure!' he thought. 'It's all about me and what I'm gonna do, not Kyle.' At that moment, Richie realized he'd just learned something new about Kyle - something that made him love him even more. Momentarily turning his head to look up at the cabin, he smiled again as he thought, 'You're way too fuckin nice to me, Kyle Jacobson. Rather than hurt my feelings by accusing me last night, you made it sound like it was your fault we needed to break up... and all the time it was because of me, and what I might do.'
In spite of the fact that he was smiling now, he felt a sadness in his heart - a sadness mixed with guilt - and his eyes began to tear up. The sadness was because he and Kyle had broken up - the guilt because it was he who was the one who caused it.
'Well, what's done is done,' he thought as he looked out at the fog covered lake.
Suddenly, he felt very naive to have assumed all this time that he and Kyle would be always be together. After all, with the exception of Kevin and Stephanie, none of the hetero relationships he'd seen at school ever lasted for more than a year, and most of them for only a few months. This realization didn't ease his feelings of guilt any, but it did help to clarify the reality of the situation. Tomorrow he would tell Kyle of his decision to go along with what he proposed, but at the same time, he was going to tell him that he knew why Kyle proposed it in the first place. No way was he going to let Kyle take the blame for something that was his fault.
Relieved that he'd reached a decision, he wiped the tears from his eyes and was about to get up to return to the cabin when something grabbed him around the neck from behind.
"Gotcha!" said Kevin.
Dropping his empty can into the water, Richie almost fell in himself when he jumped at Kevin's sneak attack.
"Shit, Kevin, you scared the hell outa me, man! I may not be an old dude like you, but I'm not too young to have a heart attack, ya know."
Laughing at how perfectly his surprise had worked, Kevin handed Richie a fresh beer as he sat down next to him. "I wasn't planning to scare ya, but when you didn't hear me coming down the dock, I just couldn't pass it up."
"Yeah, well I owe ya for that... and someday, sometime, when you're least expecting it, I'm gonna pay you back, ya dick."
"Aw, is the guppy mad now?"
"No, but just you wait, fucker... paybacks are a bitch."
For the next few minutes neither boy spoke, each content to sit in silence as they gazed out at the fog shrouded lake, their unopened beers on the dock next to them. The soft moonlight from above contrasted with the bright glow from the mercury-vapor yard-light, painting the blanket of mist that gently swirled around them in an ever changing kaleidoscope of hues. Only on occasion would the quiet be interrupted by the muffled hoot of an owl from somewhere deep within the forest, or the splash of a fish breaking the surface of the water for a late night snack.
These long minutes of eerie silence slowly began to work on the boys' nerves. When they heard a rustling sound coming from the bushes not far from shore, followed by a splash in the shallow water, their heads snapped up in startled unison. Convincing himself that it was probably just a harmless snake on the hunt for a frog to eat, Kevin finally broke the tension by speaking. When he did, for the sake of his bravado, he hoped he sounded less unnerved than he felt.
"So, what ya been up to down here all by yourself?"
"Aw, nothin... just thinkin. What's goin on up at the cabin?"
Hearing the sound of their own voices was all it took to put both boys at ease. Once again, the harmless natural sights and sounds of the night forest became just that - harmless and natural.
"Aw, those guys are all a bunch a pussies. They're all crashed out, so I thought I'd come down here and bring you a fresh beer."
"Thanks, man, no way do I feel like crashing. Wanna go for a swim?"
"Now?", asked Kevin.
"Sure, why not? It'll be cool with the moon and the fog and shit. We can carry our beer out to the raft with us. C'mon, what d'ya say, bro?"
"Ah, what the hell. Sure, let's do it."
"Yes!" exclaimed Richie. "But let me kill the light first, then it'll be way cool."
Before Kevin could say anything, Richie was on his feet headed for the light switch. Once the bright yard-light was extinguished, the glow of the full moon refracting through the fog momentarily transfixed the boys with its ghostly beauty.
"Whoa, this is awesome, man," said Kevin when Richie returned to the dock.
"Told ya. Now c'mon, dude," said Richie while he gently prodded Kevin in the back with his foot. "Shuck those cutoffs and let's go."
"What? Go skinny dipping?" asked Kevin as he stood.
"Sure, why not? I've never done it before and I've always wondered what it would feel like."
"You're shittin me. Really?" asked Kevin. "Well let's go for it then."
Moments later there were two pairs of cutoffs lying on the dock, and two naked teenagers paddling through the fog with their beers held high as they made their way to the raft. When they reached it, they set their beers on the deck while they hung on the ladder for a moment to catch their breath.
"Man, does this ever feel good," said Richie. "I never knew how heavy and constricting a pair of cutoffs could feel."
"It does feel kinda good, doesn't it?" said Kevin.
"No shit. Just feeling the water circulate over my dick and balls gave me a hard-on before we were halfway here."
"You horn-dog, you," laughed Kevin. "Just about anything gives you a hard-on. Course, being as high as you are might have helped some, too."
"Yeah?" asked Richie. "Well you're pretty fucked-up, so you must be sporting some wood of your own."
Before Kevin could respond, Richie reached under the water and wrapped his hand around his semi-erect penis. Even when Richie began to slowly stroke him, Kevin didn't speak. Instead, he let out a quiet sigh as he thought about the aborted blow-job in the boat. Just when he was beginning to really enjoy his touch, Richie let go of him, laughing as he splashed water into his face.
"I knew your were hard, hockey player. You're just as horny as I am, bro."
"Yeah, well I wouldn't be if you didn't keep teasing me like that," answered Kevin before pushing Richie's head under the water.
While Richie coughed and sputtered from his dunking, Kevin climbed the ladder, opened his beer, and sat down at the center of the raft. For the next few minutes he watched as Richie swam unhurried laps around him. Each stroke he took looked natural and effortless, gracefully pulling his body through the mist covered water at a speed that belied his easy, unlabored movements. His arms barely disturbed the surface when he stretched them out, then pulled them down with a strength they didn't appear to have.
Despite the fact that he was attracted to girls, Kevin was attracted to Richie's body as much now as he was when they first met. Staring at his nude form as it cut a silent path through the moonlit mist, he began to become aroused. He was especially turned on by the sight of Richie's baby-smooth ass that barely broke the surface as he moved. With the help of the alcohol and marijuana, he was unable to pull his eyes away from this sight, and his dick grew fully hard as he watched.
Richie took ten or twelve turns around the raft, then climbed the ladder to join his friend. After opening his beer, he ran a hand through his hair to brush away the excess water, then stood next to Kevin to catch his breath. The water that beaded up on his body glistened in the soft glow of the moon, and as Kevin stared, his hard dick pulsed with his excitement.
"What?" asked Richie when he noticed the stare.
"What? You! That's what! Your body is just as beautiful as it was the last time I saw it. You've grown some, too, I see."
"Yeah, I have," said Richie as he sucked in his stomach and stood up straight. "I'm a whole inch taller than I was when we first met."
"You are, huh? That's cool... but not quite what I meant, Guppy."
"I know," chuckled Richie. "I've grown a quarter inch there, too. So, is that what's got your dick so hard, my super-sexy body?"
"Well duh! What else do you see around here that would do it? Tell the truth, I don't think it's gone down all the way since you got me goin in the boat tonight."
"Oh, yeah," said Richie, looking a little embarrassed as he sat down. "Sorry about that."
"For what? It's not your fault the damn fireworks started."
"I know," chuckled Richie. "It's not that. It's just that I shouldn't have tried it in the first place."
"Why not? I wanted it, you wanted it, so what's the problem? It's not as if you were cheating on Kyle or anything."
Caught totally off guard, Richie snapped his head up in surprise.
"You know we broke up? Kyle told you about that?"
"Yeah, he told me about it earlier, when you and Lindy were out on the jet skis. So you got nothin to feel guilty about."
Richie thought about this for a minute before he answered. "I spose you're right, I didn't really cheat on him, but I still feel guilty about it."
"Now ya got me totally confused, Guppy. How could you possibly feel guilty? I mean, you guys broke up last night, didn't ya? And it was Kyle who wanted to break up, not you, so why the hell would you feel guilty?"
"I know... it sounds weird, but it's not that simple. Actually, it's pretty complicated."
"OK, so tell me about it. Just cause I'm a hockey player don't mean I can't understand complicated."
"Yeah?" said Richie, smiling. "Hell, I'm not even sure that I understand it. But since you asked, I'll try and break it down for you. I guess it wasn't what I did that makes me feel guilty, it's that I probably would've done it even if we hadn't broken up."
"OK, now let me see if I got this straight. You're feeling guilty because of something you didn't do. This isn't complicated, Rich, this just doesn't make any sense."
"Don't ya get it, Kevin? That's why Kyle wanted to break up... because of what I would've done."
Seeing the confused look on Kevin's face, Richie took a deep breath before explaining.
"OK, now I don't know what all Kyle told you, but I'm guessing that he said it was because of what he thinks he might do that made him decide that we needed to break up. Well that's bullshit. It's not him, Kevin. It's me he's worried about... but rather than hurt my feelings last night, he made it sound like he was the bad guy.
"See what I'm sayin here? He's seen me checking out other guys and he knows it's only a matter of time before I do more than just check them out... and he's right, too. That's why I feel guilty... because I think I would have done what I did to you even if we hadn't broken up. Shit, Kevin, when I decided to give you a blow-job, it never even crossed my mind that we broke up last night. In other words, I'd have done it even if he and I never talked at all. Now do ya see what I mean? I guess the bottom line is, I feel guilty because it's me who caused the breakup."
Finally understanding what Richie meant, Kevin recalled his conversation with Kyle earlier, and he smiled at the irony of it all. Both of them blamed themselves for the breakup, and neither one knew what the other was thinking.
"Anyway, at least he doesn't hate me," said Richie. "I mean, he said he wanted to stay friends, and even keep having sex, so that's a good thing, right?"
"Um, yeah, that's a good thing. Sounds like a win-win deal to me."
"Then why don't you sound more convinced?" asked Richie, looking over at him doubtfully. "Have you ever known anybody to do that before?"
"Can't say as I have, Rich... but I can't see it being a problem, either. Matter of fact, I don't see how it could have worked out better. I mean think about it, bro. You'll both be free to meet other guys... you know, see if it's true about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence... but at the same time, you'll still have each other... and from what I've heard, great sex."
"Oh yeah, that's for real... the sex is awesome! That's what scares me about this. I can't imagine sex with anyone that could even come close to what we do for each other. But I just know that sooner or later he's gonna find someone else and then it's all over for us."
"Whoa, hold on a sec, Rich. First of all, I know Jake, so I know he's not gonna be committing to anyone else anytime soon... you can trust me on that. And second, what makes you think you won't be the first one to find someone else?"
"Yeah, I spose that's possible. I mean, like why else would I be checking out every hot lookin guy I see. Especially TJ. For some weird reason I'm like really attracted to him."
"Yeah? You mean cause you practically undressed him in the restaurant last night? Jeez, ya coulda fooled me... not!"
"Ah, ya picked up on that, did ya? Then I won't bother telling you what I did when we ran into each other in the can later. The thing is, I just don't see me ever finding anyone that could compare to Kyle."
"Whatever, it doesn't really matter who hooks up with who first," said Kevin. "The point I'm tryin to make is that no matter what happens, even if you stop having sex, you'll still have each other."
When Richie still looked unconvinced, Kevin tried another approach.
"Try looking at it this way, Rich. You've two have developed a very close friendship with each other. You both love each other, and it has nothing to do with the sex anymore. Even if sex played a big part in forming your friendship, you could take it away now and the friendship would keep on going. Now this may be sort of a revelation to you, but it is possible to love someone without fucking them."
"Yeah, that's true," said Richie. "It's still scary, though."
"Sure it is. That's the thing about relationships, bro, they don't come with instructions. All you can do in any relationship is bite the bullet and hope for the best... and I think that's true with anyone, no matter how old they are, or what they're looking for."
There was a pause in their conversation, each boy occupied with his own thoughts until Kevin finished off his beer before looking over to Richie.
"Shit," said Richie in exasperation. "This would be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't love him so much."
"Ah yes, the dreaded 'L' word," said Kevin. "Do you know the difference between 'loving' someone and being 'in love' with them, Rich?"
This question caught Richie totally by surprise since Kyle had used the same words the night before.
"Did Kyle write that question for you?" asked Richie with a suspicious look on his face. "Cause that's exactly what he said last night. He said that even though we both loved each other, we weren't 'in love' with each other. That maybe we were 'in lust' with each other instead. That's where I got confused. I mean, like what's the difference between 'loving' someone and being 'in love' with them? I always thought they were the same."
"Oh, but they're not, Rich. They're like way different. Take me for instance. I love you, and I love Jake, and I even love Lindy, but I'm not 'in love' with any of you."
"You mean you love us, but you're 'in love' with Stephanie."
"Well, I thought I was, but lately I've been thinking that as much as I love her, I'm not really 'in love' with her, either."
"Oh, man! This is like so confusing. How is a guy supposed to know if he's 'in love' or just 'in lust' with someone?"
"That's probably one of those questions that's plagued mankind since Eve ate the apple, bro. The way I see it, though, is that they're like two totally different feelings. I think you have to love someone before you can be 'in love' with them, but that it's not necessary to love someone to fall 'in lust' with them.
"I think being 'in lust' is based mostly on a physical attraction, where being 'in love' goes way deeper... that being 'in love' is based on the love you feel for the person inside the body. It means that you love him completely, no matter what he does, or says, or thinks... you love him unconditionally because of who and what he is. To be 'in love' with someone means that you accept him for who and what he is, too. It means that you don't want him to change because he's exactly the way you want him to be. That's where the commitment comes from. It happens naturally, without needing to discuss it or set any rules because you've fallen 'in love'.
"You can sure as hell love someone without being 'in love', too. Like how I feel about Stephanie. I love her very much, but I don't feel that I love her unconditionally. If I did, it wouldn't bother me that she thinks suckin my dick is gross and disgusting."
"Anyway, that's the way I see it," said Kevin after taking a deep breath. "Does that help any?"
"Yeah, well some I guess. But I do love Kyle for who he is... and the more I learn about him, the more I love him. Now I'll admit that it was his body that first attracted me, so I guess that's where the lust part comes in. I mean, like he is the hottest lookin dude at Radison... by anybody's standards. But I love everything I've learned about him since the first day I met him. There's nothing about him that I would want to change."
"Really?" said Kevin. "And you're absolutely sure about that?"
"Yeah, I am!"
"Then if you guys hadn't broken up, it wouldn't bother you if, say... he slept with Steve once in a while."
"Steve's gay?!" asked Richie.
"NO!" said Kevin. "I mean, I don't know if he is or not... but that's not the point, Rich. I was just using him as an example. So, would it bother you?"
"He wouldn't do that, though, would he?"
"Wouldn't he? Do you remember the conversation we had at my house last winter?"
"Which one?" asked Richie with a sly grin on his face. "The one we had before or after we sucked each other off?"
Despite wanting to make a serious point, Kevin couldn't keep himself from smiling at Richie's question, and he playfully slapped his arm when he answered.
"Before, you sex fiend. The one where we talked about what kind of dude Jake was. Remember how I told you he was the kind of guy who likes to play the field?"
"Oh, yeah, you're right. God, now I get what you're sayin. That's part of who Kyle is... and even though I love him, I don't think I could deal with that. Whoa, how come I couldn't see this before?"
"Oh, that's easy, Rich. When you love someone, you tend not to see some things... even when they're dangling right in front of your face."
"God, Kevin, maybe he was talking about himself last night. I've been holding him back, haven't I? I've been tying him down and cramping his style... forcing him to be someone he's not. Oh man! No wonder he's been so moody lately. God, I feel like such a dick."
"Whoa, take it easy, Rich. Don't be so hard on yourself. No one's to blame here. No harm, no foul, ya know? Jake's been thinkin about this for a long time and he just now figured it out himself. So give this... whatever it is... 'break up - stay together' thing a chance. I mean think about it. So what if your not 'in love' with each other... you love each other, you have a lot of fun together, and you have great sex together. What the hell could be better'n that?"
"You've thought about this a lot, too, haven't ya?" asked Richie.
"Yeah, I spose I have. You know, cause of my relationship with Stephanie. Course, that don't mean I'm totally right, either. It's just the way I see it, is all."
A few moments of silence passed while Richie thought all of this through. Finally, he looked at Kevin with a smile, then put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.
"Thanks, man. As usual you've helped me out a whole bunch. Actually, I feel pretty good about this now."
"Good," said Kevin. "So what're ya gonna tell Jake, then?"
"It's a no-brainer, man. He said it himself last night. Breaking up is the best thing for both of us. I just couldn't see it until now. So I'm gonna tell him that I love him, and that I want to give this thing a shot. But I'm gonna make sure that he understands that he's not the bad guy. Like you just said, no harm - no foul... and who knows, if this thing does work out, maybe we'll have invented a whole new relationship, even if we don't know what the hell to call it. So thanks, man, I owe ya big time."
"Whoa, that's the second time I heard that today."
"Yeah, like what was the first time?"
"Aw, nothin really, I'm just glad I could at least help you out with your problem. I only wish I could get my head cleared this easy."
"Get your head cleared? What the hell you talkin about, man? I mean you're like the most 'got it together' dude I know. You talkin about you and Stephanie?"
"Yeah, well, she's part of it I guess. But it's way more complicated than just me and Stephanie."
"So talk to me, bro. Give me a shot at understanding your kind of complicated. Didn't I help you out once before?"
"Yeah, you did that for sure."
After he said this, Kevin thought for a minute. Richie was right, he did help him when he was convinced he had to break up with Stephanie last winter. When they were having problems, it was Richie who suggested he come clean with her and tell her exactly how he felt and why he was having a problem with their relationship. As a result they began to communicate with each other, and instead of breaking up, they became even closer. Well, he didn't know how Richie could possibly help him this time, but he figured he certainly didn't have anything to lose by telling him about it.
"OK, bro, you asked for it. You remember last winter when you and I... "
His voice trailed off and he began to have second thoughts about proceeding when Richie finished his sentence with that same sly grin on his face.
"Sucked each other off? Hell yeah, I remember. I'll never forget it. Why?"
"OK, the next morning we had a long talk about it. Remember that?"
"Sure, what about it?"
"Well, I told you then that I didn't know if I was gay or not, right? That I knew I was attracted to you, but that I was attracted to girls, too. Remember that?"
"Yeah, I remember. But when I came back from the trip up here with Kyle, you told me that you had it all figured out. You said that you may still feel some sort of attraction to me, but that you were like totally in love with Stephanie. You said that you and her had great sex together, and that you were committed to each other. So what's the problem?"
"Well, first of all, I did feel attracted to you just like I said. But I thought it would like go away or somethin, ya know? I thought that I had such strong feelings for Stephanie that I had to be totally straight. Well it didn't quite work out that way. As you know from tonight, I still feel attracted to you as much as I did the night I seduced you. I think... "
"Whoa," interrupted Richie. "You're not still beating yourself up over what happened that night, are ya? Cause if you are, I'll tell you again what I told you then, that... "
"No, I'm not," said Kevin. "It's just that I thought I was straight, and now I'm not so sure. No, that's not right, either. What I mean is that I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual."
"Yeah? And your point is?"
"My point is... ah shit, Rich, I don't know. I guess what I mean is, I don't know if I want to be bisexual."
"What?!" said Richie, appalled at what he was hearing. "Are you listening to yourself, man? Jesus, Kevin, you're sounding like me when I was having trouble admitting that I was gay. You can't want to be straight any more than I could. It's a simple no-brainer, man. You're either straight, or gay, or bisexual, and you don't have any say in it. God, man, I thought you, of all people, knew that. Whatever your or my sexual orientation is, it's as natural as this fog on the lake, or the sun coming up tomorrow. It's what we are, man. It's how we're made, all of us, and none of us has a choice. The choice we do have is how we deal with it, and take it from me, someone who knows, the best choice is to accept it and get on with your life."
Richie paused for a moment to catch his breath and give Kevin a chance to respond. When he didn't say anything, Richie sighed, then looked over to him again.
"Look, man, I'm sorry I went off like that, sounding like a 'dad' and all. But you kinda pissed me off when you said that. And what the fuck is wrong with being bisexual, anyway? Talk about a win-win situation. Shit, man, I envy you, bro. If you decide you want to stay in the closet about your attraction to other dudes, it's cake! If you fall in love with a girl, then that's great, too! You can get married, have kids, everything a straight can do without living a lie. What's even better is that you have twice the opportunities for sex than me or any straight dude has, so what's the problem?"
There was another moment of silence while Kevin waited to make sure Richie was finished lecturing him.
"If you're through spanking me, 'Dad'... then I'll tell you why I feel that way."
"Shit, sorry. I did it again, huh? Go ahead, man, I won't say another word, I promise," said Richie, embarrassed by his outburst.
"First of all, I know all about that shit that you so kindly pointed out to me," said Kevin with obvious sarcasm. "What I was trying to say is that as a bisexual, I don't know if I can provide a long term partner, girl or guy, with what they would expect from me. It's like my 'other half' might get in the way and I couldn't be either gay or straight for them."
"Oh," said Richie thoughtfully, "I think I see what you mean. Well, you've been dating Stephanie for what, two years now? Doesn't that count as a long term relationship?"
"Two and a half, actually, but we've only been sleeping together for six months."
"OK, and during those six months has she ever asked or expected you to do something that repulsed you, or that you just didn't get excited about doing?"
"No, never," said Kevin, beginning to understand what Richie was getting at.
"Then can you think of anything a guy might ask or expect you to do that would turn you off?"
Kevin looked away from Richie this time, and thought for a minute. Finally, shrugging his shoulders in resignation, he said, "Well, of course my sexual experience with another guy is somewhat limited, but thinking about it, no, I guess I can't think of anything. At least nothing that isn't over-the-top kinky, anyway."
"Then I say again, bro, what's the problem?"
Kevin paused again to make sure he thought of every possible scenario. What Richie said sure made a lot of sense, and he couldn't believe he hadn't thought about it before. Still, he found it hard to believe his concerns could be explained away easily. It was something new for him to consider, though, so with a grin on his face, and a sparkle in his killer eyes, he turned back to Richie.
"Leave it to a guppy to point out the obvious to a dumb hockey player. You may be right, Rich. Maybe there isn't any problem. At least you gave me something else to think about, that's for sure."
"Good," said Richie with a smile. "Now that we got our problems solved, what d'ya think we should do about the world economy."
"Fuck the world economy," said Kevin as he playfully pushed Richie's shoulder hard enough to cause him to fall over on his side. "We've solved enough problems for one night."
Rolling back over, Richie didn't sit up again, but instead remained flat on his back and looked up at the stars. Moments later, he turned his head to Kevin.
"Answer me one more question would ya, dude?"
"Sure, if you'll answer one for me, first."
"OK, ask away."
"What did you do when you met up with TJ in the can last night?" he asked with a sly grin on his face.
"Oh, that," chuckled Richie. "I just checked out his dick while we pissed, is all. He ain't cut, either. Man I'd like to get up close and personal with one of those. Ever since Lindy told me about his cousin, Ronnie, I've wanted to see what that extra skin feels like and shit."
"Oh, OK. Then ya really didn't flash him."
"No, dipstick," said Richie as he playfully slapped Kevin's arm with the back of his hand. "I told you I didn't do that. Now answer my question. Who else told you they owed you big time today?"
"Oh, yeah. I guess it can't hurt to tell you. It was Jake, after he told me about your talk last night. See, Rich, he's been worried crazy about how you were taking what he said to you, so I volunteered to talk to you about it. You know, to make sure you knew where he was coming from and shit. Well, he was grateful, so he said he owed me. No big deal."
"So what did you tell him when he said he owed ya?"
"Nothing," said Kevin, not sure he liked where this conversation was going. "I told him to forget it. I told him that we were friends and that friends didn't have to pay each other back for shit like that."
"And he accepted that?"
"Well, no, not exactly," said Kevin, beginning to fidget noticeably now. "I mean, you know Jake, he always thinks he has to pay for everything, right? So, just to shut him up, I said fine... that he could give me a blow-job the next time I got horny and Stephanie wasn't around."
"Yeah?" said Richie. "And?"
"Man, you're making me feel real uncomfortable right now, bro. But if you must know, he agreed. He said anytime... all I had to do was say the word."
Then, before Richie could say anything else, Kevin turned to look at him and spoke in a very defensive tone of voice. "Course I'd never take him up on it or anything. It was just something I said to shut him up. You know, more of a joke than anything else."
"Why the hell wouldn't you take him up on it? You'd be missing out on one helluva fine blow-job if ya didn't, and that's for real."
"Are you telling me that you'd be OK with it?" asked Kevin.
"Course I would. Is there somethin wrong with your short term memory, dude? Have you already forgotten that me and Kyle broke up last night, and that me and you just spent the last hour or so talkin about it? Go for it, man."
"Oh, right, I can see it now. Jake gives me a blow-job, you find out that you're not as cool with it as you thought you'd be, you guys get pissed off at each other and never speak to each other again, and it's all my fault. You think I want that on my conscience? No way, man."
"What the fuck is with you, dude? Didn't you hear anything of what you told me tonight? Shit, man, don't worry about it. Hell, if it wasn't for the fireworks tonight, I'd have already given you one myself, right?" Then, with a devilish grin he added, "And trust me, Kyle knows what he's doin when it comes to suckin dick."
Kevin grinned at this, and since he was still pretty high from all the beer and weed, his dick began to get hard as he replayed the boat scene over in his mind. Thinking about how close he'd come to what he'd been dreaming about, he looked down at Richie, only to find him grinning back. Rather than say anything, he turned his head away and looked out over the lake. When he did this, Richie raised himself up on one elbow so he was lying on his side and facing him. Reaching over between Kevin's legs, he gently wrapped his hand around his stiffening member and began to slowly stroke him.
"You're thinkin about the boat thing again, aren't ya? So how bout I finish what I started?"
"Oh man," sighed Kevin when a shiver ran through his body at the pleasure of Richie's touch. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yeah, I am... but if you don't want to... " joked Richie as he pulled his hand back.
"Oh, I want to alright," said Kevin as he looked at Richie again, all the signs of anticipated pleasure plainly written across his face.
"Then lay your sexy hockey player body down so I can show you what I've learned over the last six months."
As he said this, Richie sat up, placed his hand on Kevin's chest and applied a gentle pressure to coax him to lie back on the raft. Then, wasting no time, he began to gently squeeze and fondle his balls. At the same time, he wrapped his lips around the tip of his dick and began to stimulate it with his tongue. Closing his eyes and groaning with pleasure, Kevin spread his legs wide, surrendering his body completely.
Richie wanted to pleasure Kevin as much as he could by showing him some of things he'd learned since the last time they were together. But since their lack of experience at that time had limited them kissing and simply exchanging blow-jobs, he wasn't sure how far Kevin would want him to go. Keeping this in mind, he decided to take it slow and watch closely for any adverse reactions.
As he went from stroking Kevin's inner thighs to squeezing and rolling his balls around in their silky-soft purse, he gradually took more of him into his mouth. Although his dick was the same length as Kyle's, it was a little thicker. This wasn't a problem for Richie, though, as he took more and more of him in, relaxing the muscles of his throat in preparation to deep-throat him. Just as he was about to take the plunge, and bury his nose in Kevin's pubic hair, Kevin suddenly pulled his dick from Richie's mouth and sat upright.
Totally confused, Richie sat up as well and looked into Kevin's killer eyes. "What?" he asked. "Did I do something wrong or did you just change your mind?"
"Oh God, no, on both counts," said Kevin as he reached between Richie's legs to fondle his balls. "I just want you to scoot around so I can have some, too."
"You sure? You don't have to, you know. I'm plenty happy just sucking on... "
Kevin cut him off in mid-sentence when he reached behind his head with his free hand to pull him closer before covering his lips with his own. Totally assured now that Kevin knew exactly what he wanted, Richie opened his mouth to make room for his probing tongue. Their drug induced lust quickly took over their bodies as Kevin was immediately flat on his back again with Richie half on top of him. They ground their lips together while their tongues explored each other's mouth. When their hands began to move across their bodies, they groaned in ecstasy each time they caressed and stimulated a different area.
Quickly taking control, Richie broke their kiss to scoot around so they were on their sides in the sixty-nine position. Neither boy hesitated as they engulfed each other's penis, sucking voraciously while they squeezed and rolled each other's balls around in their hands.
Both boys sucked on each other with an intensity that grew with their increasing lust, savoring the sweet taste of the pre-cum that leaked generously into their mouths. The urgency of their sex, combined with the heat and humidity, caused their bodies become slick with sweat. Using this to his advantage, Richie easily slipped the middle finger of his right hand into the crack between Kevin's cheeks. With little effort, his finger quickly found his intended target and began to massage the outer surface of his tightly puckered hole.
This was new for Kevin, and the stimulation Richie was providing caused him to tense with pleasure. A little unsure, but not caring what Richie wanted to do next, Kevin cocked his right knee to position his leg so that his thigh was almost touching the top of Richie's head. This move caused his cheeks to spread further apart, making it easier for Richie to reach his anus.
Relaxing the muscles of his throat again, Richie plunged down on Kevin's cock until his chin rested against his pubic hair, his nose nestled against his scrotum, and the tip of Kevin's dick pressed against the back of his throat. When he was confident that he wouldn't gag, he began to slide the full length of Kevin's member slowly in and out, burying it into his throat on the down-stroke, then pulling it out to the tip on the up-stroke. While he did this, he pressed the tip of his finger against his anus, gradually applying more pressure as he moved it around in tiny circles to coat it with sweat.
Everything Richie was doing now was new for Kevin, and he was so overcome with pleasure that he could barely concentrate on his own sucking action. With extra effort, he willed himself to relax his anal muscles while focusing his full attention on Richie's dick. Suddenly he felt a sensation like nothing he'd ever felt before when Richie's finger slipped into him to the first knuckle. His first reaction was involuntary as the muscles of his sphincter clamped tightly around Richie's finger. The pleasure he felt made him writhe and groan so much that Richie's dick slipped from his mouth.
Feeling Kevin's entire body tense when he slipped his finger into him, Richie stopped applying pressure, then eased his dick from his throat until just the tip remained between his lips. He stayed like this, unmoving except for a gentle sucking on the tip while he waited for his friend to get used to the new sensations.
Once Kevin became relaxed again, and returned to sucking on Richie's dick, Richie began to flex his fingertip, gently moving it around within Kevin's constrictive opening. When Kevin showed no further signs of discomfort, he started to slide his finger slowly in and out. With each succeeding stroke he probed deeper, massaging the inside of his rectum until his finger was buried as deep as it would go. Taking Kevin's cock back into his mouth, he began to deep-throat him again, sliding its full length in and out while he slowly finger-fucked his ass.
Kevin was completely used to the new feeling now, and any previous discomfort he felt was replaced with total pleasure as he began to slowly and rhythmically fuck Richie's face. Taking this as a good sign, Richie increased the suction with his mouth while he probed and searched Kevin's rectum for his prostate.
As experienced as Richie was, it didn't take him long to find Kevin's magic button. When he did, the intensity of the new feeling took Kevin over so completely that he almost screamed out loud. He was so overcome that he had to give up on Richie's dick completely. Every muscle of his body seemed to contract all at once, causing him to jerk around on the raft in spasms of pure erotic pleasure. When his orgasm came rushing at him like a freight train, he moaned and thrashed about uncontrollably. Finally, his entire body went stiff as a board when the huge and seemingly endless amount of teenage sperm left his balls to spray the back of Richie's throat.
Barely able to breathe when Kevin began to empty his load into his throat, Richie pulled back a little, then sucked on his sensitive glans while he continued to massage his prostate. Swallowing as fast as he could, it was all he could do to keep up with amount of cum that Kevin was feeding him. A moment later, the torrent of love juice fell off sharply until it was finally reduced to small drops seeping from his piss-slit in ever weakening pulses.
When Kevin's orgasm came to an end, and the tension left his body, Richie swallowed a final time, then slowly removed his finger from Kevin's hole. Both boys rolled onto their backs, and while Richie waited for Kevin to come down, he savored what was left of the cum that still coated the inside of his mouth. It tasted different than Kyle's, yet it had that same salty sweet flavor that Richie assumed must accompany all sperm. After a few minutes passed, and Kevin still hadn't moved, Richie raised himself up onto his elbows.
"Yo, Kevin You alive, man?"
"Oh yeah," responded Kevin in an almost inaudible voice. "That was awesome, Rich. I have never had such an intense orgasm. I thought sure as hell I was gonna die... and that's for real. You have definitely learned a few things since last winter."
"Yeah, I suppose I have... a few anyway," said Richie, his proud grin stretching from ear to ear. "So, you ready to swim back in now?"
"Hell no. Not yet, anyway," said Kevin as he opened his killer eyes to look up at Richie. "We still have some unfinished business to take care of."
That said, he smiled as he reached for Richie's rock-hard member.
"You don't really have to do... "
That was all Richie could get out of his mouth before Kevin engulfed his penis and began to suck on it while he squeezed and pulled on his balls. Grateful that Kevin was willing to finish him off, Richie laid back down, spread his legs, and began to enjoy himself.
While Kevin worked over his dick, Richie fondled his large and nearly hairless balls, occasionally stroking his flaccid dick, or running his fingers through his soft pubic hair. Since he expected Kevin to do no more than suck him off, he was pleasantly surprised when he felt a finger slip between his cheeks to massage his puckered hole. He was even more surprised when Kevin suddenly buried his finger deep within his rectum, going straight to his prostate.
While Kevin sucked and stimulated Richie's dick, he poked and pushed on his prostate with an expertise that he certainly shouldn't have had. After only a few moments of this combined action, Richie's orgasm overcame him and he spewed all the cum his balls had to offer into Kevin's hungry mouth.
When he returned from planet ecstasy, and his breathing became normal, Richie wondered how Kevin could have done such an expert job of both locating and stimulating his prostate. These were the last thoughts he had as moments later, exhausted and satisfied, he was sound asleep.
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