The Bus Stop
by Rafael Henry
Chapter 21
I walked over to the wide bed over in the farthest corner opposite the big window and sat on the edge just in what Henry likes to call, teasingly, my baby pants. I thought, or rather hoped he would be amused by my choice. He said I have a thing about boys' underwear. I suppose I do, in that some brands I hate and won't wear unless I have to, as I do on days when I know I will be changing in front of other boys. It's plain and simple the rest of the time which suits mum. She says they are far quicker to get dry so she prefers that Kerry and I wear that sort, so it is not just a girly fetish of mine. If I took to raiding Fiona's knicker drawer it might be a different kettle of fish, but at the present time, wearing girl's pants or any other item does not appeal. At least not yet. Henry is in his quite tight pale-yellow shorts that are not hiding what we both have the beginnings of. Nothing to get alarmed about yet. I'm feeling very nervous about my immediate future here. Will he make the first move or shall I? But I have a surprise in store.
'Look Arlo, I think you may have misunderstood things a bit? You're fourteen and only just, and I'm twenty-two. What you might have been thinking will happen in this room goes against convention. A bit further than that actually.' He says with a hand on my shoulder. 'The law of the land tells us, and we should know, that if I have sex with a boy your age, I'm liable to be put away for quite a long time, even if that boy wants, begs me even, to have it, and by sex I mean not just……..well you know what it is.'
'But only if I tell on you?'
'True, but in my case, should it be a possibility and I think you think it is, I, we have to consider my feelings as well as yours. I like you a lot Arlo, let me make that very clear. I don't think I would like myself afterwards; for doing it, whatever you felt about it. You're right about keeping it a secret, forever perhaps. But that doesn't change my position with regard to you. It's not a very loving thing for someone of my age, not that I'm really that much older than you, to do to a young far less experienced and knowledgeably boy like you……is it?'
I just looked down, feeling humiliated inside. I came here for sex with Henry and now he's saying that?
'What can we do then?'
'Why don't you just come and sit with me for a while? A cuddle would be nice? Or you might like to see how I put those video clips together we made last Monday?'
'You've finished it? We could look while we………..but it's not fair that I'm like this and you're not?' I said pointing down at my baby apparel.
'Ok, I'll put something else on to make us equal shall I?'
He comes back suitably attired, as I am, naked save for the essentials. I have to say my tummy flipped several times when he walked over to me by the window. If anyone looks up, I'm visible to them but I don't care. I could just as easily be in my swimming costume. When he reaches me, silently, I feel his hand on my shoulder, and two hands turning me to face the window, and then his mouth on my neck as he whispers……..
'I'm sorry I've disappointed you Arlo, but believe me I'm as disappointed as you are, but the upside is that a kiss and a cuddle are not offensive to the law of this land at least, and that's where we are right now. Nor is sitting in my lap if you choose to do that. Getting aroused is not illegal either, nor is watching a friend do……..anything he chooses.'
I just stared out of the window while he says those words, my tummy going nuts again. He kisses my neck again, all around it and the base of my head too, his mouth buried into my now too long hair. He blows hot air into my skin the way my mummy used to do to make me laugh out loud. I loved it then and I still love it now. Then he does the same thing, such warm calming and exciting breaths going into my ears and shoulders, his hands on my hips, and then his fingers slipping inside the gathered waistband. He pulls them up quite hard so they dig into my bottom, then his fingers pull the seams back looser again. I have a full erection and I'm nothing short of desperate. If I push my bottom out towards his front there's a chance I'll make contact.
He is what I hoped he would be. I can feel it. It's there pressing against me lie it was before. How much closer could we possibly get?
He leads me to the armchair which is wide and deep enough to accommodate us comfortably as I lean back against his chest. I can feel the hair against my back. With both hands he lifts me up and higher over him and sets me down again, just above his hardened penis which I can feel between my uppermost thighs, trapped there. It's those thin meshy pants he's wearing, that allow for much more freedom at the front, like they're not really there at all. I can see clearly through and it's big; very big.
I leaned forwards to see more clearly. The snake's head is there, bulbous and anxious, ready to bite, ready to spit its venom, to release, red and hot, the centre point even darker…..and open.
'Will you feel my tummy please. I like that.'
'Of course I will…….like this?'
'Umm, exactly like that.'
Henry goes on kissing my neck and breathing hot air onto my skin, whilst massaging my tummy, making wide circles and his little finger straying lower. All I want now is release from this almost unbearable tension. And now I'm wet. It's that clear stuff that tastes of almost nothing, coming out and leaving a small darker area. I just have to do it!
I told him.
'Of course my baby boy. Just go into the bedroom and do it. There's a box of tissues on the bedside cupboard. I won't disturb you. If you're not out in fifteen minutes, I'll come and find you.'
'Why not here……..with you? Will anyone ever know? They won't will they?'
'No they won't, apart from you and me. Not your face, or mine if I am there at all, but we will hear sounds from you I hope, just as things happen. If they happen. They might not, or need not.'
I smiled, enjoying his hands moving over my chest and up and down my legs.
'I think they need to. It's there isn't it, the truth. So we can watch it happen?'
'Umm, as many times as you, or I want to if ever I'm in need.'
'Are you…….now?'
'I always will be if you're around.'
'Can I stay where I am then?'
I can feel everything .
When will journey's end be? Soon I think. And then what?
He sent me away to do something. To get something. It made a difference. I could not have done without it, something I already knew.
It was like arriving at the same door at the same time, our hands reaching for the handle together.
He poured everything from the jug into the cup until the jug was completely empty; everything gone from it. Exhausted.
I knelt on the floor to pick up my phone that had fallen. I stayed like that until I felt something very odd happening. I've heard about it. That's what happens.
How do I feel now? I'm wondering that myself. Pretty weird, everywhere. Shaky. Weak. Shocked.
Henry's been fantastic, so honourable, so kind, so true to what he promised. I have no idea what to think, longer term. Kerry. What to do.
Now Henry strokes my tummy, straying up to my chest to gently massage my nipples which, as Kerry never fails to point out, go hard when touched in that tantalizing way. It's almost a tickle.
It was so strange, the way it all gradually forms, takes shape, begins to dawn on me and becomes a reality, and then takes over everything. Fabulous!
I have to take a few deep breaths but there is no guilt like there usually is. Not now.
Henry has one hand on my tummy the whole time, the tip of his thumb inside my belly button, the silly man. What is he playing with? It's still there. There are tiny golden hairs all over his hand. I'm going to turn over and face him and apologize for the bad person I must be.
'Sorry.'
'Don't be. Things don't always work out the way you want them to. Better this way. Don't be sad.'
'I'm quite tired now.'
'Do you want to go to bed, if that's not against some other holy law?'
'Good idea. I could do with a sleep.'
I'm kneeling beside the studio bed that Henry lies on, on his back, his arms folded together on his chest, like those stone monuments to kings and princes with a carved mini-greyhound at his feet. I've got my arms resting this side of him, my hands together and my head down sideways on the cool white linen sheet. Half an hour has passed by since he closed his eyes.
Henry begins to wake up. I didn't sleep at all. I just watched him like I watch Kerry when he's asleep. What did he dream about? I'm sure he was dreaming about something. I've had one or two of those, when you wake up just as the cock crows.
I put my hand on his tummy. It feels firm, almost hard when I press on it. He's looking at me, smiling, the handsome devil. He feels warm, everywhere. But he doesn't speak to me. There's nothing to say now. I'm going to ask him if I might lie on him. He'll let me I'm sure. Two hours now. I should head back.
It'll be weird going back into our house and seeing everyone, or no one. I'm different now. I'm not the same. I couldn't be. I have undergone a change. Now I know a little more.
I walked along the beach and sat down on the small pebbles. The size of them varies depending on how high up the beach they are, the lower the smaller. Constant erosion I suppose, over millions of years of wave action, as it sorts everything out.
Tonight, upstairs and all tucked up, I showed Kerry the edited video we made together, the three of us, that Monday he and I spent part of the day at Henry's studio, the OLH. He's exhausted by the events of the day just as I am.
Some of the threads have come together now, Kerry's immediate future is secure, just as mine is. Henry is our friend, mum and dad still love each other, I think, and Fiona has her boyfriend at last. There will be more threads to tie and join because life will take its twists and turns, upwards as well as downwards, just like it does for everyone alive. Being alive is what counts now. Poor Gaza. Poor people wherever they may suffer. However dark the tunnel is that we find ourselves in, there is light at the end, so we must live if we can.
I listened to those prayers. The sound of the organ made me cry but mum didn't see me, or was it the sound of the angels that stood just over there? I'm not sure. I will never be sure.
I touched Kerry's hand, just lightly. He knows now, just as I know.
07.55 Monday morning.
Kerry and I stand there, suitably apart from the girls. Sarah gave us her usual disdainful glance before continuing her post half-term banter with Heather. Lilly, the bane of our lives on the back seat of the bus looked at us threateningly.
'Two minutes late.' Kerry states, reading the digital display on his new watch.
We got on, after all the girls. Lilly is already in her seat with her back against the window and her feet on the upholstery, nearside. Kerry and I take our seats leaving a metre between Lilly's black school Velcro secured shoes over white ankle socks, and us.
'Do we have to see all that Lilly.' Asks Kerry, quietly and with a new-found confidence born out of his recent independence, possibly? Lilly ignores his question. I look at the two lengths of creamy inner thighs for longer than I should do. Will I ever feel attracted to a girl? I looked down at the expanse of now slightly tanned thighs Kerry was showing. He seems to have grown over the half term.
I said, so Lilly might hear me…….'Kerry, will you ever like creatures like her?'
'Good question. Maybe……..eventually. Maybe not.' His head was down checking his new phone.
I turned towards the window, looked out on the passing townscape; and smiled.
The story ends . Part Two will follow.
Authors deserve your feedback. It's the only payment they get. If you go to the top of the page you will find the author's name. Click that and you can email the author easily.* Please take a few moments, if you liked the story, to say so.
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address (it goes directly to your clipboard without having the courtesy of mentioning that to you) to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. Note: If the email address pastes or arrives with %40 in the middle, replace that weird set of characters with an @ sign.]
* Some browsers may require a right click instead
