Simon Says
by Rafael Henry
Chapter 3
The presence of the two boys are required for mealtimes by their respective parents. Fair enough. Both Will and his partner in comfort would have preferred at this time to pass the early evening, if not the whole night, together. Early suspicions and a little incompatibility had created a reserve between them which had effectively wasted several days of their holiday which would otherwise have been time spent in productive friendship. Still, the two boys attracted to each other, finally, have rather made up for lost time. The hour spent on the beach together, alone and thankfully undisturbed, was indeed emotionally productive. Ryan had learnt something about himself that he didn't know, or perhaps had chosen to ignore when the signs were there. He had buried certain thoughts, as boys do, when they emerge in the mind and threaten to destabilize us, and our position in the social hierarchy. Will has unlocked that secret door that Ryan has kept closed for a while now…..two years perhaps? When Will met Simon, he already knew, pretty much, which direction he was headed in. Simon was just the confirmation. And what a time they had had too.
'Will you meet me after supper?' asks Will.
It's been three hours since the boys left the beach. Three hours to recover and recharge.
'Can I go out this evening?' asks Will.
'Where darling?'
'Just out. Ryan said he'd meet me in the Games Area.' he lies.
'That's fine darling, but don't be too long……ten at the latest.'
Three hours….three blessed hours. Three hours together. Ryan's parents and his sister are going out to the 'entertainment' provided each evening. Ryan doesn't have to go.
He hears the faint knock on the door of the chalet. It must be Will? Surely no one else? Yes, it is Will.
The two boys face each other just inside the door that Ryan has just closed behind him. They are both nervous……worried that what has taken place on the beach will have changed things…….brought on anger or regrets….recriminations even.
'Are you ok Ryan?'
'Yes. Are you?'
'Yes, fine thanks.'
'Good. That's good then.'
'Did you think it was then…good? A good thing or a bad thing?'
'You mean what happened at the beach?'
'Yes. I'm worried that……'
'That I regret it? I don't……..I really don't Will.'
'It seems like ages ago now.'
'Yes.'
The boys chuckle. They know how their bodies work, and how their emotions and feelings will quickly recur…….how desire returns, stronger still.
'You look nice Will.'
'Thanks. So do you.'
Gone are the trainer pants. It's those little cotton play shorts and tee shirts bought from the shop that provides, unwittingly a size too small, which becomes intimate clothing for a boy……body hugging……..body enhancing. Shorts for queer boys.
Brown legs, brown arms, brown faces, beautiful eyes, longing hands….breathing into ears……..soft words spoken……..fingers in hair……..warm lips against smooth skin. Excitement builds.
'Will.'
'What Ryan?' he responds, short of breath.
'Tell me about Simon please…..what happened?'
Oh yes. What happened with Simon.
'When are they back?'
Will is referring to Ryan's parents.
'Not for ages. Ten maybe?'
'Can we get into your bed?'
Oh yes….but please……let's undress each other first.
What pleasure that proves to be. Bit by bit, until the very last. Two handsome boys straining, yet still restrained. Such erotic restraint! Hands inside, hands around, hands inside to find……..
Such glorious outrage poking upwards the air!
How hard to the touch, how hard is it's feel
Harder now….still harder
Yet still it seems to form in my hand
So come to me now, my weeping lion!
in soft cool bed.
Let us find love here.
Find love. What do boys know about love? Only that they know they are loved.
'What did you do….you and Simon?' asks Ryan, for the second time. Will is in Ryan's arms, warm and nurtured.
'Please Will. Tell me. I won't mind.'
Five minutes later, Ryan is well informed, and increasingly curious.
'That second time…….when you went back to his house after school. Can we?'
Unlike sweet Simon, Ryan is beyond the pipy voice……smooth skin…..hairless everywhere. The changes in his voice are perceptible now, and he's not entirely hairless now. There are other changes too. Erotic thoughts in bed at night crave satisfaction, and the consequences prepared for, and duly disposed of. It wouldn't be fair on Will.
'You know what happens don't you Will?'
'Yes, but it may not work.'
'What if it does work?'
'That's ok.'
'Really? How shall we do it?'
Ryan arranged the two pillows, one slightly above the other, and sat up with his back against the wall. There was no question of any further foreplay. No need…..Ryan is more than ready. He looks down as Will, in position now, who reveals the object of his attentions. Will could hardly call himself an expert, not yet, but what he can do is certainly good enough. There's no doubt in Ryan's mind now. It is going to work. He's no longer concerned about the consequences……..only his own pleasure. That's boys for you. With eyes closed, head to one side, and tummy pulled in, the rising feeling is truly overwhelming.
Will doesn't stop. He knows he must go on for at least a minute afterwards. He was both shocked and thrilled at what he had done for Ryan.
Dear sweet Ryan. I love you, I love you, I love you! Please will you love me back?
'Don't go to sleep Will! You can't……not here. They'll be back soon.'
Sleepy boy, and warmed against his lover's body…….enclosed and safe inside strong arms. He had not gone unsatisfied, but in a different way……the way it was on the beach just a few hours before.
They were back earlier than they had said….father, mother and sister. The boys made for a comical sight as they fought to pull up shorts and cover themselves. They did, just in time. Ryan helped Will climb out of the window. They had discussed an emergency plan, and in the event, it worked perfectly. Giggling, Will had escaped, but it had been a close call. A door is opened, voices louder now, and then the bedroom door swings open.
'We're back darling. Everything alright? Don't forget to pack your things tonight will you. Early start tomorrow.'
Ryan, heart beating fast, tries his very best to effect an expression of normality.
'Aren't you cold darling?' she says, glancing down at the floor. Ryan hadn't noticed what Will, in his haste, had left behind.
The following morning Will noticed that the Smith family car had gone…..Ryan's car. All the parking spaces were numbered according to the chalet number, and theirs was two spaces away from his. They were leaving that morning too, but not until after breakfast. Ryan Smith and his family had a long drive home. That's why they had left early. Ryan had told him where they lived, but not exactly. He had wanted to say goodbye properly. Now the chance was gone, and a cold panic set in. What to do now? He would go to the office and ask them for Ryan's address. He would write to him.
Will told the woman in the office that Ryan had left something in their chalet. He would need their address so he could send it on to him.
'Oh. What was it dear?' says the middle-aged woman.
'Err…his watch. He'll need it.' answers Will, with a slight hesitation. He thought she sounded like Sibyl in Faulty Towers.
'Right. Let's look that up then. Were you friends then?' she says, brightly.
'Yes.'
'That's nice dear.'
Short pause, then…..
'Have you got a pen dear?'
'No.'
'I'll write it down for you.'
'Thank you.'
'There. That's in north London dear.' as if he didn't know. Not that far away he thought, but perhaps too far.
'Oh…is it?'
'Yes dear. Alright now?'
Will picks up the scrap of paper and immediately, in his mind, begins his letter to Ryan. He doesn't take the direct route back to his chalet. He detours by way of the Activities Area. He finds a place where no one will see him, behind a small wooden building where some of the kit was stored. He knew he was going to cry, not from any particular sadness, but more from relief than anything else. He had not lost Ryan.
One day later.
On Sunday mornings, Ryan's parents lie in….not late…….until about nine usually. The children are confined to their rooms until then. That's the rule. Mike and Jean are light years short of the time when sex is no longer important. Indeed, a barrier form of contraception is still needed. A third child at this stage would be a disaster. It had been difficult in the chalet with those thin walls because the children would have heard them making love. At home now, they had made up for their mutual denial. He had woken her at six demanding her attention. The first time would almost pass her by, apart from Mike's weight on top of her. A sheath was not to hand, so he would be done quicker than usual, and withdrawing dangerously close to his orgasm and propped up on one elbow, he filled her navel. An hour later, after the first cup of tea, he had made her come the way she liked him too. She had never orgasmed during intercourse. Then he turned her onto her back. Ready again, he was pleased that she agreed to this form of intercourse. It was immensely pleasurable for both of them, and safe.
They would talk after the second cup of tea, and after she had sorted the difficulties that Mike had created after his second time around the block.
'I thought it all worked very well. What did you think?' she enquires of her husband.
'What? Just now?' Mike says, slightly bemused.
'No. Not that . The holiday. I thought it worked well for all of us. I think the children enjoyed it.'
'Yes. I'm sure they did. It was good.' says Mike, not really that interested, and not really wanting to discuss the whole thing again.
'There was one thing though.'
'Really?'
'Umm. When we came back after our meal out, I went into Ryan's room to make sure everything was alright. He seemed a bit flustered……a bit pink in the face. It was as if he'd been caught out……that sort of look on his face. There were some pants on the floor. They looked like girl's pants to me. They certainly weren't his, and they weren't there when I checked his room just before we left. Do you think he could have sneaked a girl into his room that night? She could have left just before we got back.'
Mike rolls over towards Jean.
'That could be a bit awkward couldn't it? I'm not sure what stage he's got to.'
'What do you mean?'
'I mean…….is he producing? I've no idea about that. It's not something we discuss of an evening. Do you have any idea Jean?'
'Well I do actually. He is, that's why I'm concerned. Can you imagine?'
'Yes I can. How do you know he is?'
'I do the washing and make the beds.'
'Oh…yes of course.'
'Perhaps you had better talk to him?'
'Again? I've done all that once.'
Ryan hadn't spotted Will's pants on the floor until it was too late. In the general panic, Will had obviously not had time to pick them up, let alone put them back on. Such a stupid thing. He had hoped his mother hadn't seen them. She would know that they weren't his, but nothing had been mentioned.
Mike had another idea.
'They weren't Jenny's were they?'
'Why would Jenny leave a pair of her knickers in Ryan's room? Jenny's aren't like that. It's not possible.'
'What's not possible?'
'I've seen some like that in Marks. I'm sure they do similar for boys.'
'Maybe Ryan borrowed them? Maybe he likes dressing up?' muses Mike.
'Now you're being ridiculous!'
'Perhaps it was a boy in there? Have you considered that possibility?'
'Why would a boy leave his pants on the floor?'
'Because he took them off for some reason?'
'What reason?'
'What do you think? Perhaps they spent the evening in bed together having a fun time?'
'You're kidding aren't you?'
'No. It was probably that William boy…..the one that looked like Ryan's twin. You remember? Perhaps they fancied each other and wanted…….'
'Wanted what?'
When his mother had left his room that night, he had quickly scooped up the rogue article, and secreted it in his holdall, neatly folded. He thought about leaving them in the waste bin, but thought better of it. It was something of Will's he wanted to keep. He noticed the name tape sewn into the waistband……William Shepherd. No, he would hide them somewhere when he got home. They belonged to him now, just like a part of Will. A part of Will was with him now.
Never underestimate the guile and determination of mothers and wives. They check the pockets of their husband's clothes, just in case. They do all sorts of things. Errant husbands beware. If things are there to be found, they will find them.
Four days later.
Mystery solved. Thursday morning, and the first day back at school for Jenny and Ryan. She found them in Ryan's bed, pushed down the side of the mattress, between it and the wall. She was right the second time. The label told her, as well as the presence of the boy's name…and yes, it was the nice looking dark haired lad that Ryan had been seen with. She had noticed his eyes first, as women often do. 'What beautiful eyes that boy has' she said to Mike. Indeed so.
She never mentioned her 'find' to Mike, and he didn't ask her. It was something he didn't need to know. Ryan is her son, and her love for him is as undying as it is unconditional. What he wishes to do in private is his business. If harm was being done, she would know. A mother's intuition would alert her to any danger. Anyway, whatever it was, is over now….finished and done with. These things happen.
Ryan found Will's them in the drawer where his mother kept the others, along with his socks. They had been washed and neatly folded, and placed on top of the others. He remembered where he had left them, and his faced warmed. He thought for a while, wondering what she would have to say to him, in due course. How would he explain? The days went by, and nothing was said, not even when the letter arrived.
Ryan had left for school at a quarter to eight that morning as usual. The morning post, around eight thirty, contained something unusual. The sky blue envelope was addressed to Ryan. The handwriting was not that of an adult. You can tell. She took the letter to Ryan's room and left it on his bed. She considered steaming it open, but no, she could never forgive herself for such treachery towards her son.
Two weeks later, another arrived. Again, she left the letter on Ryan's bed. A week after that, her intuition drove her to confront her only son.
'The letters you've had Ryan. Were they from William?'
'Yes Mum.'
'Right. I thought they were. Have you replied to him?'
'No Mum.'
'Well you must. He's written to you twice now, and you're ignoring him. It isn't fair on the boy.'
'I haven't opened them. I can't.'
'That's ridiculous Ryan. Have you still got them?'
'Yes.'
'You can't go through life pretending things haven't happened. Life is not that easy. We all have to learn to face things….difficult things from time to time. You are growing up now and things are changing in your life. Don't turn your back on things. If you face truths, there are rewards. Now I suggest you go upstairs and read those letters, think about it, and then write back. If it's the boy I think it is, he's very sweet. You cannot treat him badly. I won't let you do that to him. Now go on!'
Well that told him, and of course she's right.
Ryan looks at the postmark and choses the envelope showing the earlier date, and opens it. The writing paper matches the envelope.
21 Thornton Hill Road Wimbledon Common
London SW19
Dear Ryan,
I hope you are well. You said I could write but I had to get your address as you were gone so quickly on the last morning. I want to tell you things but I don't know how to begin. Thank you for being so nice to me. I loved you being like that with me. We had so much fun [I don't mean that other stuff but that was good too] I hope you got back ok. How is school going? I left something in your room that night. Did you find it? I think about you when I'm at home and at school too when I can. I miss you. Do you miss me? I hope so. Maybe you'll come back next year? I think we will go back again next year. I hope you can come back. I hope you will still be friends with me then? Sometimes I get sad because I don't know where you are. Have you made any new friends this term? Please write back soon? I want to be with you lots. Would you be cross with me if I said I love you? I hope not. I thought I would just say it. Please write soon!
Love from your friend Will XX
Ryan puts the letter down on the bed. He picks up the second letter and opens it.
21 Thornton Hill Road Wimbledon Common London SW19
Dear Ryan,
Did you not get my letter I sent you? I waited ages but you didn't write back to me. I'm scared that you don't want to be friends any more. Do you? Please tell me the truth. You will won't you? Please don't make me sad Ryan. Please write soon. Is it because of what I said in my other letter? I'm sorry if I upset you. I can't help how I feel. I will always love you. I can't help telling you. Please don't be cross with me. I just want to be real friends with you. You're are lovely with me and I love you loads. Do you ever think of me? Please tell me you do.
Lots of love from Will XXX
There's a gentle knock at Ryan's bedroom door. A few seconds later, his mother walks in and sits on the bed next to her son. She puts her arm around his shoulder.
Ryan is behaving badly, and he knows it. The feelings of guilt are rising in his soul inexorably. There are other feelings too……..those that are reserved for Will. Nice feelings to do with loyalty and friendship. Feelings to do with the responsibilities that he has towards his friend who is feeling abandoned by him. They won't go away. He is aware of his mother's love at this moment and how he has been given it unconditionally for as long as he has existed. The words in the letter won't go away…….
I will always love you. I can't help telling you
'You mustn't deny your feelings Ryan. It's not fair on yourself, or William. You must celebrate each other, not sweep him under the carpet and out of sight. You must recognize how you feel and enjoy it. These are good things, not bad things. Try to understand. It'll be worth it darling, believe me. It will.'
Ryan is no longer in control. His mother's wisdom has moved him beyond words. There is only one way to express how he feels. He knows he has to let go.
When it's over, the world suddenly seems a brighter place.
'Don't be afraid to tell him darling, but tell him the truth. He deserves to be told the truth, whatever that is. Don't lie to him. That would be cruel, even if it's not what he wants to hear. This is none of our business Ryan. It's yours…..entirely yours. Please remember that we are always with you. Whatever choices you make, we will still be with you.'
'Thanks Mum. I'll start in a minute. Do you have a stamp?'
Ah, the pathos of it all! Bless him.
'Yes, but it'll have to a first class one. Will that do?'
Ryan tries to laugh through his smarting and unseeing eyes.
'Something else Ryan. Why don't you ask him to come here…..stay a few days? Perhaps in the next holiday….or even half term? We would love to see him. Where does he live?'
'Do you want to see it Mum? His address is at the top.'
Ryan hands the letters to his mother. She reads it.
'Oh darling, that is such a lovely little note. So how do you feel about him?'
'He's nice Mum……really nice….and…….'
'And what darling?
'And…..sort of ….good looking?'
'Yes he is. He's a very attractive boy….that you are attracted to……..for more than one reason I hope?'
'Yes. I like him Mum. I like him a lot.'
'Then you can tell him exactly that can't you. You are both very young still. It may not last. Why don't you just see how things go?'
Jenny sees the address at the top of sheet of blue notepaper.
'He lives in south west London, so why not see him half way? Go to the cinema or something. Leicester Square?'
The Smiths live a ten minute walk from Hampstead Station. District line for Will……Northern line for Ryan. They could meet in the middle.
'So the holiday…….did you enjoy it?'
'Yes, it was great. There was loads to do.'
'Would you like to go again?'
Ryan smiles, equilibrium restored. Of course he would. Pen would soon be put to paper, affirmations stated unequivocally, an arrangement suggested, stamp affixed, and on its way to SW19. In the meantime, Mrs Smith is curious about what happened that evening?
'Will came round after you had gone out. I had invited him as soon as I knew we could be on our own. It was really nice……talking and stuff. He's very affectionate. We…….had a nice time together. That's it…apart from the end bit……when you came home a bit earlier than you said. I helped Will get out of the window. He didn't have time to…….well, you know about that don't you?'
'Yes. I'd worked that out. I thought you'd had a girl in there. I was a bit worried about……what might have happened. Then, as you know, this morning I realised that it wasn't a girl. It was a very nice and a very suitable boy called William whom we had met and liked very much. See it through Ryan.'
This four chapter story is part of the 2017 writing challenge "In His Room" which is open for voting between 16 September and 17 October 2017. The voting is at the end of the fourth chapter, as are the details of the challenge and thus links to all the other stories in it. Please do remember to vote if you are within the voting period.
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