Johnny Come Home
by Rafael Henry
Chapter 16
Two years later.
'You can hold him while I run the bath.' Says Richard, handing me the baby who had been christened……….Alexis.
'Put your arm under him, like this, with your other arm around his back. He stinks so he'll need cleaning up. Have you ever done that?'
'No. I'm very sure I haven't done that.'
Not that I'm panicking, but I'm expecting to learn how very shortly.
Richard dropped the changing mat on the floor while we knelt beside the naked baby Alexis, naked that is, all bar his disposable nappy. He does stink.
'I think he's done a brama.'
'What's one of them?'
'A bad one. You'll see.'
Two sapphire blue eyes are looking at me, and an outstretched hand tries to touch my face. I cannot believe what I'm seeing. There's a familiar tingling behind my eyes I know only too well. There's no hint of a smile; just those eyes looking into mine.
'I'll show you how to stop him spinning off the mat. He'll try to do that. Hold one foot like this and control his other leg with your forearm. You have to be quite firm otherwise he'll wriggle away and flip himself over and you've lost him. See? Like this? Now you do it.
He's a good kicker, and strong, but I get the idea.
That's it. Now hold him like that and undo the tapes to the side. Yes those. Pull them off. Now pull the front bit forward, lift him up by his legs and slide the nappy from under him. Go on!'
Oh my goodness!
'Right, there you go. See what I mean? Now clean him up with a wet wipe. You'll probably need three of them, and then put them in the plastic bag with the nappy. See how it gets up his back? Now put that one in with the nappy. You'll need another wipe now. Now push his legs right back so you see his bottom easily. Are you ok there?'
No, not really. It really is quite unpleasant.
'Great. Now fold it up and put it in the bag. Now you hold him while I get ready.'
A forearm under Alexis and my other arm around his back is how I was told to hold Sis. He's heavy. Needless to say I checked out his bits and pieces. All looked in good order.
We watched as Richard undressed, and then bent forward to test the temperature of the water. He ran some more hot, tested it again and was duly satisfied. His voice, although still treble, has lowered an octave. Other parts have progressed too. He looks sexually more mature, but still some distance to go to equal his brother John. He's grown a couple of inches and lost a little of his broadness. He'll stretch out more in the coming months, but he's still very much a boy. His very blond hair has darkened a little too.
'When I'm in, just hand Sis down to me.'
He sat Sis on his tummy, and for the next ten minutes played all the little water games I imagined babies love, not that I would know.
'Take you tee shirt off and take him from me. He might pee on you. He usually does after his bath if he hasn't done it in the bath. I don't think he has.'
The baby's warm body is against my bare chest, as Richard wraps a large bath towel around us.
'You need to keep him warm Alex. Sit in the chair until I come back. I won't be long. If he tries to escape, hold him tighter.'
With my hand behind Alexis's head, I pulled him in tight under my chin. Richard had washed his hair, such as it is. He smelled warm, fresh and slightly perfumed, his skin so soft. I was alone with this marvellous small but perfect little being. There is no possible way I can hold back what I can feel welling up inside me.
I felt the tiny hand against the back of my neck as I wept, the tears rolling relentlessly down my face onto Sis. An odd kind of bonding I suppose. The gurgling went on as the baby's grip on me tightened. My weeping went on too.
Good old Richard. He knew we both wanted to be left alone for a while.
Alexis settled into my lap as I held him to me. And then I felt it spreading over my stomach. Wet and warm. There's nothing I can do about it. Just wait for Richard to come back. When he did, he brought a new nappy and the one-piece article that babies sleep in. Baby goes back down onto the changing mat.
'Put your finger in the tub and scoop out a good dollop. Now spread it all over those bits. That's it, all around. A bit more there.' Richard says, pointing to the pinkish area.
'Keep hold of him or you'll lose him. That's it. Now stick the tapes down. Perfect! You're done. Do you want to keep him for a while? I think he's almost asleep. If you take him into his room and sit with him on your lap for a while, he'll settle nicely and I'll pop him into his cot. You won't disturb him when you go to bed. He sleeps like a log. Probably until about eight tomorrow morning. He's a very good boy.'
Indeed he is.
I'd watched as Anna fed him, Alexis slurping away, his eyes closed as he took in all the natural nourishment Anna could provide for this perfect little creature.
I didn't think for a moment that I could come in such circumstances, with a woman twice my age, nearly. Thirty-one. I told her that I thought I was, but she said 'Go on, go on!' So I did. They were all Thursday afternoons when we did it, and each time I came inside her.
John was lying there with his knees raised and wide apart showing me what he wanted, his buttocks parted, and smiling as he always does.
It didn't feel so different, she and him.
Anna tried to kiss me but I turned my head away and kissed a man, pushing hard and deep into her. There was a hand between my buttocks; and a finger pressing painfully. Quintus moaned loudly again and then everything was over.
I looked at Anna and came to rest on her breasts, her hands soothing my back. Like her, I was sweating, our breaths coming in jerks. There was no John at my side, or Quintus. They were never there.
There's a spare single bed in the baby's room in their new house. A larger house than the two and a half bedrooms they had before. Adrean had won two good promotions. John came in to the room at eight fifteen, or thereabouts. I had spent the last two hours listening to Sis's steady breathing wondering what I would do if he woke up. He didn't.
'Do you want to change him?' He asks, holding Alexis aloft with his nose buried in the little boy's midriff.
'It's just pee. Do you want to do it? I'll find you a nappy and the cream if you do?'
Of course I wanted to do it. Besides it was only pee to deal with. The trick is to keep the slippery little eel still while you try to organize everything else. John watches me struggle as Alexis enjoys the fun, gurgling away. Eventually I got it all done as the baby spins off the mat.
'Now try and get this thing on him. Start with the feet. He won't make it easy for you. What do you think of him Alex?'
He took the infant boy off to his mum for his morning feed, and was soon back with me in the nursery.
'May I join you? Just for a couple of minutes. Then I'll get John.'
'There's not much room in here.' I said, doubtfully, as Richard slips off his pyjama bottoms. I lift up the duvet so he can slip in beside me, our faces dangerously close.
'I was very jealous of you two. Did you realize?'
'No, not at all.' I lied.
'He still loves you. Did you know that ?'
'That's nice; I still love him .'
'But you have someone else now?'
'No I don't.'
'John found someone, after you left.'
'That's good. He needs someone.'
'That nerdy Perry boy. John chucked him after a couple of months.'
'Why?'
'It wasn't working for him.'
'What wasn't working?'
'You know. It wasn't working.'
'Oh, that.'
'You must have spoilt him Alex.'
'Does he have an interest now in anybody?'
'I think so but he's keeping very quiet about it.'
'Do you know who it is?'
'I think I know.'
'So who then? Another boy?'
'Not exactly. Mum and Dad would have kittens if they knew. Can I have a cuddle?'
I put my arms around John's brother Richard. He kissed me lightly on my mouth with no attempt to push his tongue in. Good. I'm suddenly not in the mood for playing. I'm not sure about the average boy, but when I feel Richard pressing up against me like he is now, I can't help reacting. I'm not considering any kind of sex with him, but I have an erection, just as he has. I can feel it on mine. I need to talk to John, urgently.
'So what was wrong with Perry?' I'm asking John as we walk along to the park. He's rolling along with Sis in his pushchair, and a bag with all the baby changing kit hanging off one of the handles.
I have always liked these places with all the play equipment that councils provide these days. I like these places for the right reasons. What has always impressed me is the consideration shown by the older kids to the youngest ones. Like making way for them on the slide. They are truly happy places.
'I was very happy with you Alex. We made everything work somehow. Perry Merciful is just a kid. I've done all that stuff; you know, what boys want to do when they don't know much about it. Kid's stuff.'
Oh yes, I do know.
'Can you come yet? I bet you can't.'
'I can. I bet you can't.'
'I can!'
'Show me then. Come round to mine after school . We can do it together.'
John has always wanted more, being a highly sexed boy. A lot more. I have an uneasy feeling about his new friendship Richard is keeping very quiet about.
He would not tell me who it is, the new friend.
The two boys kept out of our way as Sis gently made his way down the slide held either side by me and John. He loved it. It's funny how boys that age are so happy to play with babies, and how happy babies are, usually, to be played with by them.
'What's his name?' One of the boys asks, as he takes Sis's little hand in his.
'Alexis. Or Sis. Just call him Sis. He won't answer.' Says John, laughing.
'He's lovely. How old is he?'
'Sixteen months.'
The boy takes Sis's other hand in his, kneeling before him. Sis gives the boy a sharp kick on the thigh which makes him smile, and the boy too. And then their interest, like a whisp of steam, evaporates. In an instant he's bored with babies, as he runs off towards the swings where his mates are. He looks up at an athletic looking girl with long dark hair and brown arms on the climbing frame. She's wearing a summer dress oblivious to what can be seen underneath, high up as she is. The boy stops and looks for a few seconds, interested, as the girl looks down at him, realising why he's stopped to stare up at her. Then she climbs higher. The boys moves on, but not really wanting too. The boy girl dynamic at an early stage. He'll think about it tonight in bed, that boy, and play with his penis, remembering that vivid image he saw up there on the climbing frame.
I wanted to hold Sis for a while as we sat on a bench away from the playground. Sis enjoyed being bounced up and down on my knee, cackling away as I held his small hands. By now he was smelling strongly of pee.
'Better change him again Alex. You hold him and I'll do it.'
I held Sis's legs back as John did the nappy business far more efficiently than I could. The boys were back. One stood and the other one lay beside us on the grass, propped up on an elbow. Sis put a hand out and the boy gratefully took it in his. Boy's, according to Anna can be very good with babies. It was a useful diversion. Sis, captivated by a new face giggled as the boy plays with his fingers. The boy looks up at me, a knee raised interestingly. Short summer shorts. No underpants then? The dark-haired boy lets go of Sis's hand and turns onto his back, both knees raised. No underpants confirmed. Then rather unwisely I joke……
'Do you want yours doing now?'
He gave me a lovely smile but said nothing whilst showing me everything. It was one of those jewelled moments to savour as we wandered out of the park, homeward. When I was twelve, sex was always on my mind. Erections came quickly and went slowly, just like the pleasant idle thoughts at the back of the class that caused them. Perhaps a boy I hadn't noticed before had caught my eye in the playground. He'd caught me looking and given me a second glance as he walked away, hands in pockets. A few steps further and he looks round to see me still watching. And only then does he walk away. The thing is, you never know what's around the corner. I found out his name a few days later. He was one of the fresh crop of goodies, Simon Perret, with whom I was to have a single and singularly productive engagement with in the long grass.
Sadly, Truro has turned out to be rather non-productive in terms of any exciting engagements with the same sex.
I took John's hand in mine as a gesture towards our old friendship that I hope will never die. Anyway I shall keep a weather eye out for Sis. Flesh and blood and all that. John has no idea.
'Those boys were funny in the park.'
'What? The dark haired one?'
'His comment about Sis when we were changing him.'
It was funny.
'He's got a teeny willy.'
'Just like yours Phil.' His mate comments unkindly.
'Like yours you mean.'
Boys are generous, loving and funny. Until they're not.
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