Berrington Hall
by Rafael Henry
Chapter 4
Simon.
Those two boys are absolutely amazing. They came down to the Hut after tea as arranged, bang on time, in fact slightly early. I had been supervising a cricket practice for the under elevens. Although we are a very small school relatively speaking, we actually had quite a good side in that age group and had just narrowly won the semi-final of their inter schools competition. The final is tomorrow away at Exeter School. We definitely have a chance.
The two boys turned up early for the discussion I had arranged with them. We got to the point quickly, after I gave a brief synopsis of our last topic which was all about how we treat each other, and what sort of behaviour between us is 'wrong'. Of course the little ones went on about the bully and so on, but David and Tim had hinted at 'other things' that they might have concerns about. I suspected at the time that they wanted to broach a subject without the others being involved, hence this meeting. I thought I'd throw out a line that might move us forward.
'First of all, nothing you say here will get back to anyone else…….absolutely no one, ok? This is something quite personal isn't it…..to do with just you two perhaps? Has something happened that's worrying you…..or is something still happening…….something going on that you need to talk about?'
I'm curious about these two boys. If my suspicions are correct, what they will tell me will be of interest I'm sure. Do you get what I'm saying?
My 'sitting room' is pretty basic. I measured it one evening just out of interest…..it's eleven feet square. I have a two seater sofa in it, plus another easy chair……one of those slightly old fashioned things with arms and high sides.
The two boys sat side by side on the edge of the sofa leaning forwards, their hands held in front of them. I had arranged the furniture so that I was sitting directly opposite them and leaning back. They were both dressed in their beige 'play' shorts and white polo shirts which is standard summer out of school hours kit to save wear and tear on uniform. Tim kept looking at David, who was working his way up to some sort of explanation.
'You know you don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to. We can just sit here for an hour…..no problem. Can I say now that it's so nice to have you both here……..'
I didn't finish the sentence……….
'It's about us Simon…..me and Tim.'
Simon? That's the first time that David has called me that.
I had a shrewd idea of what the topic of conversation was going to be, so I had prepared a question that would lead them quickly to what I had guessed was the issue.
'I know it is, and I'm so pleased that you're here, both of you. I know you're really good friends. Are you worried that you are perhaps a bit too close?'
I decided to fib slightly………
'When I was about your age I had a friend, a boy a little bit younger than I was, and my parents told me I wasn't to see him anymore because we had become too close. Am I getting nearer……… David…..Tim?'
Both boys are looking downwards, and David nods his head. Tim bites his lip. Then David started to talk.
'It's fine at home……..Tim comes to stay and it's fine. Mum knows about it, and she doesn't mind, and I go to Tim's. It's fine there too. It just here……..we can't here……there's nowhere to go.'
I'm not sure if David would have gone into details if I'd asked him to. What he'd said was enough to tell me that their friendship was at least to some extent a physical one, but I wanted to keep the conversation focussed on how they felt about each other…….the emotional side not the physical, at least for now. That's not to say I don't want to know………….because I do. I want them to tell me more.
'Boys……..are your feelings for each other very strong?'
Then Tim turned to David who is still looking downwards…..
'Can I say it please?'
David nodded.
'I like him loads…….I really do, and I know he likes me too.'
They avoid the word 'love'. That's interesting. It's not a word boys will use at that age to describe a relationship with a friend because it's a word that is strictly reserved for their own family members. However strong their feelings are for another, they cannot be spoken of a loving feelings. If they actually think that, then it's unspoken between them. I imagine that David and Tim do love each other. They clearly enjoy playing with each other's bodies.
It was a beautiful moment, not least that a boy felt he could tell me about his true feelings for his friend. As Tim said those words, he leaned into David and rested his head against David's arm.
Both boys by now have leant back. Tim has tears in his eyes. David, eyes open, looks away towards the corner of the room. I have to respond to what I have been told, somehow.
'I don't want either of you to feel alone. It's very important that you don't feel that you are on your own with your feelings, and thank you so much for having the courage to tell me about it. Would you like me sit with you for a while?'
Both of the boys nodded immediately.
I sat between them with my arms around their shoulders and their heads to the sides of my chest. We sat like that for what seemed a very short time but it was probably ten minutes or so.
It was as if a weight had been taken away from them, and the sun had come out after the storm, and there was fresh air everywhere. The smiling David is now in a lighter mood……..
'Are we bad Simon? Are we bad boys?'
'No, of course you're not bad, silly…….anyway you know you're not. You're just being boys. How lovely to feel like you do at your age. I was never so lucky.' Then Tim quietly enquired……….
'Do you like us ?'
'Well, What do you think?'
' We think you do.'
'Oh do you. Why's that then?'
They both looked a bit sheepish, half smiling. I pressed the point.
'Go on then, tell me why?'
David attempted to divert the conversation………
'Loads of the boys like you……….it's not just us. Anyway, why do you like us then?'
'Who says I do? Well I do as a matter of fact…….very much as you well know.'
'So we are right then?'
'I guess so.'
'So……what is it about us then……..what do you like about us? Go on……please tell us or…….'
'Or what?'
I was back in my chair by this time, and the boys had relaxed back into the sofa, Tim with his feet up on the edge, knees apart rather provocatively. He saw that I had noticed, and gave me a half smile.'
'Go on then, tell us. We want to know…….we need to know Simon.'
'I don't think you need to know at all. It's personal.'
Then David responds……….
'Well is it how we are or how we look then? You can tell us that much surely?'
'A bit of both…….or a lot of both to be precise. You are two very special people inside and out if you really want to know…..and……….'
'And what?'
'Oh, nothing.'
A long pause, then Tim pleads……..
'Start with how we look then. That should be easy shouldn't it?'
'Well how about you tell me about yourselves first? I'd like to hear about that. You go first Tim.'
Tim looks at David, wondering if he dare tell the truth about his friend.
'Well……..David's really nice looking and sweet…….and he has lovely greeny eyes and nice hair too……and…….I like his long legs…….and he has a lovely bottom……..like yours.'
The boys laugh, and then I do too.
'Like mine? Since when have been looking at it then?'
'Since you first got here…..when we first had you for games. You wore those white shorts. You still wear them…… and they're a bit see through. Did you know?'
The boys giggled.
'I hadn't really thought about it to be honest. I didn't think anyone would be looking at me in a school for small boys.'
'Oh we do look……if it's interesting. David said you were dead sexy didn't you David.'
'Shut up Tim!'
'It's true….he did. Loads of us did. Some of them said that you looked at us…….you know………in our undies and stuff.'
Ouch!
David clocked my reaction……….
'No they didn't Tim! No one said anything, you idiot! Just shut up ok?'
Obviously they had . David went on…….
'Anyway Tim……..you're always….sort of ……there……….aren't you?'
'So are you David. What about the other morning then…….when you had to find your slippers under the bed. That was deliberate wasn't it?'
Ah, so Tim had been watching had he? David's face coloured noticeably. I decided to be conciliatory.
'I thought that was rather nice actually…….the fact that he was so uninhibited.'
'What's that mean?'
'It means that you are completely relaxed about your bodies……..you're perfectly happy for any of it to be seen by someone else…….me in that instance. I like that……it's nice. Anyway, about bottoms……I can't say I have studied either of you in that way, so…………….'
'It's David's favourite bit………isn't it David.'
'And mine's better than yours as a matter of fact.' retorted David.
'No it isn't! Just different that's all. Is his better Simon?'
We could have debated that for a while, but it was the issue that David had hinted at that interested me more at that moment, or should I say even more. It was the 'mum knows about it' bit, and the 'there's nowhere we can go at school', which to me implied that there was nowhere private enough where the two boys could relax and show their affection in a physical way, presumably in a sexual way. My mind raced forwards to the question, what did they do…….and how far had they gone? Had they had older role models, or had they worked it out for themselves? From the conversation we'd had, bottoms seemed to quite high up the agenda which might be clue. With regard to 'who has the better bottom' issue………well……did they want me to be the judge of that? I'm not saying I don't have an opinion on that subject.
I've had worse jobs to do, and knowing I had better not sound too interested, we set about the task.
It was just a bit of fun, and I had to be the judge apparently.
David's about a foot taller than Tim, and by the look of him he's going to make six feet eventually. Right now he's a perfect shape, and just at that stage of transition from child to youth. Tim's frame is narrower and generally tighter and very compact with precious little extra flesh on him, and I doubt if he'll be as tall as David. In the event, I managed to get them both to accept that one was no better, or rather inferior to the other, and that it was impossible to make comparisons…….suffice it to say that they were both 'very nice bottoms'……..different, but equally pleasing aesthetically.
They insisted on showing me in tandem, both standing with their backs to me in front of the sofa, first with their hands in their pockets, all casual like. Tim turned his head round with a smile…….
'How do we look Simon?'
'Why the hands in pockets then?'
'Don't you know why, silly?'
Of course I knew why. I replied with……
'Is that it then?' Then David said…….
'No. Come on Tim……you go first………'
With the top of his shorts undone, Tim lifted his shirt with both hands over his head and dropped it on to the sofa revealing his very spare torso. With his shoulders back, and after a couple of seconds fiddling at the front, Tim had his thumbs in the waistband of his faded beige shorts and gently lowered them down to his ankles. He stood up and adjusted his underpants so that they conformed snugly to the form of his buttocks. Plain white, and not too brief, they looked pleasantly fresh and new…… very cute. David immediately followed suit……his a little briefer, which allowed a little more flesh to be visible, and the elastic indenting his slightly fuller bottom.
'David……..I think you'll be needing the next size up soon, sunshine.'
'Why? They feel nice. Don't they look nice?'
'They look fine David…..I was just………oh, nothing.'
Tim giggled discreetly. He knew exactly what I meant. He reamarked…..
'I told you David….didn't I!'
As the boys reassembled themselves, I explained why there couldn't' be one winner, and that they were both winners…….equal first. Facing me now, and quite deliberately, they showed me, without showing me if you know what I mean, that they had found that little exercise quite exciting.
I have to say I'm fascinated by these two. I'm not exactly sure of what they want, and I have to be very careful that there are no unfortunate misunderstandings. I have a career to think of…. and them of course.
We spent a little more time talking about not much, as I think the three of us had our minds on other things. It was as if none of us could quite bring ourselves to say what we were thinking, but I already had an idea. The boys were back on the sofa looking relaxed, and quite provocative as they leaned on one another, their hands laid forwards on their thighs.
'So………is it a problem then……….not having anywhere to go that's really private?'
David nodded, and looked down.
'Umm.'
'Well, there may be times when you might want to come here. It's never locked, and if I'm doing a club or whatever, there's nothing to stop you coming over here if you want to.'
Then Tim piped up……..
'We could tidy for you….you know……..make sure everything's neat and stuff. I like tidying up. Can we?'
'Why not? You just need to make sure you come when you're supposed to be free……between school and tea……..or after prep maybe……..and don't tell the others or we'll have loads of them down here probably.'
They've got the idea. Why not come here? I can't see a reason why not.
Two days later………..Tim and David are at the Hut.
'Did you see him on your way down here Tim?'
'Yes…..he's taking a net practice……they were just starting so he'll be ages yet…….at least an hour. Did anyone see you?'
'No…..well only Smithy and he had no idea where I was going. It's exciting isn't it.'
'Umm…….I think it's because no one in the world knows we're here.'
'Yeah……and not just that.'
The two boys look at each other, and the smiles have gone. That's because they know they have complete freedom here in the Hut……..something that they haven't had since the Whitsun holiday ages ago when David stayed at Tim's house. Of course Tim and David shared, and although there are twin beds in Tim's room, there are ways around that problem. Tim's parents knew of course because when they checked on the boys discretely, there they were. It was a slight shock for them the first time and they thought about ringing David's parents but they decided against it, after all lots of boys go through phases and this was probably just one of them, and it would be unkind to do anything that might disturb their friendship. Besides, it was jolly useful as Tim would stay with David sometimes when they fancied a weekend away on their own. No…let sleeping dogs, or rather sleeping boys……..lie. But Tim's mum did wonder…….
'Darling…….you don't think they're…… doing anything together do you?'
Tim's father thought about her question for a while……….
'No…….no, they're way too young. Anyway they wouldn't know what to do would they?'
'No, I suppose not.'
Tim's father had decided not to worry his wife about it, although he knew from his days at school that boys that age know perfectly well what to do. It was just a matter of how much they knew, or to put it crudely, how far they dared go when it came to consensual sex.
David says……….
'He's not very tidy is he? Where shall we start Tim?'
'Let's start in his bedroom shall we?'
The bed, Simon's bed, a standard width double, had not been made that morning. It had a nice bright duvet on it, white seagulls on a blue background, which had been unceremoniously cast sideways in a long heap some while after Simon's alarm failed to go off because he'd forgotten to set it the night before. He hated missing breakfast that all the boys and resident masters ate in the dining hall. It had been scrambled eggs, pale because it had been extended with milk to make it go further, and on coolish toast made from sliced white bread from a supermarket packet. However, the whole thing was made more pleasant by the availability of proper Heinz tomato ketchup which had replaced some inferior make because Staff had moaned about it to Cook.
Tim decided to lie on Simon's bed…….flat on his back with his arms outstretched, and towards one side of it. The boys had taken their outdoor shoes off when they had first come in, and David noticed that one of Tim's long grey socks had a small hole in it close to end of his big toe. David looked down at Tim and a thought came into his head. He knew what Tim was thinking because that was always the way that Tim looked at him when he was having similar thoughts. It was never difficult to read Tim's mind, especially when he was having some of those thoughts. David stood there for a few moments trying to decide if he was in the mood or not.
'We don't know when he's coming back do we Tim? And what if he suddenly came back and…….well we can't can we. It's way too risky.'
'He won't be back. Anyway he said we could because we can't anywhere else. He knows David, that's why he said we could come here so long as we're careful. He obviously doesn't want other people to know. It feels comfy……and it smells of him too.'
'Does it?'
'No, not really. It smells of nothing…….maybe a little bit of him. Come on then…….please?'
'I'm not going to do anything Tim……not much anyway.'
'Just a feel then…..go on, please? Don't you think it's exciting?'
David sat on the edge of the bed, and Tim edged up to him so that David's hand was right next to Tim's bare knee. He had his legs a little apart because he knew that would create a nice gap between his inner thigh and the opening of his freshly ironed grey school shorts. It's what you might call an open invitation from Tim to David……one that he knew that David wasn't going to refuse…..at least for a minute or so. The two boys often stole moments like that when they knew they were not going to be observed, like that time at the bottom of the field the other day. David would say……..'Shall we go for a wander?'
Tim would know exactly how David was feeling, and of course he would respond appropriately, not with words but a smile, head down slightly in that lovely submissive way of his, and a nod of his sweet head.
If Simon suddenly came back there was no dressing to do or anything like that which would take time, and then it would be obvious to him and he might take a very dim view.
Tim knew what was coming and his body had anticipated the delicate sensation of his very best friend's invading hand. Tim knew that David was right to be cautious and he didn't expect anything more than he got. The nicest bit came last as he raised his bottom just enough to allow David access to that area he found almost more sensitive than that other bit……..and he supressed a sound as the side of David's thumb pushed hard into him there while the rest of his hand applied pressure to a single cheek of his bottom. It was a signal really, one of intention that would always raise Tim's hopes, and David's for that matter, but it was the usual story…..a lack of opportunity for them to express their feelings for each other.
'Shall I make his bed?' Tim enquired of David……
'No, you start in here……maybe with that chest of drawers over there. I'm going to look in the bathroom.'
As David left the room, Tim put his hands on the two polished wooden turned knobs that were fitted to the pair of drawers that were above three more the width of the piece of plain unpainted Edwardian furniture so common in bedrooms and necessary where there were no fitted cupboards to store clothes in. He pulled both drawers open at the same time, his mouth open and half expecting what he saw. He stared at the contents, mainly in the drawer to the right. It was all a bit disorganized and would need sorting out……definitely. He let go of the left knob and his hand fell to his side so the other hand could touch the contents of the small space. The drawer was lined with what Tim recognized to be birthday gift wrapping paper……..the one with lots of little teddy bears on it. He felt the contents for a few moments and found it immensely satisfying…….exciting in fact. Now with both hands he took everything out and laid it all in a random pile on the top, and then he very carefully replaced everything in one neat pile, organized in size order…..largest at the bottom, and smallest on the top. The socks…..about ten assorted pairs…..in the left hand drawer, needed minimal arrangement. A couple of pairs he recognized because he liked that American college basketball style……..white with coloured bands around them near the top. He'd studied them at close quarters while practicing his hand stands supported by Simon. He'd taken a while to gain his balance and Simon had been very patient with him.
David came back in to the room and went over to where Tim was standing, both of the two small top drawers still open.
'Were they like that then……all neatly arranged like that?'
'No, I've just done it.'
David studied Tim's arrangement, appreciating his efficiency but not speaking. A few moments later…..
'Come on, leave the other drawers. Let's do his bed……..you go that side…….then I'll show you something.'
It was just a matter of straightening the bottom sheet and fluffing up the pillows and arranging them neatly. The boys put the duvet back. There wasn't that much in the bathroom…….certainly nothing out of the ordinary……apart from two things that David left untouched. Both items were in a white cupboard whose double doors were covered in mirror glass. Tim of course recognized one of the things, but not the other. The younger boy stared at the shiny transparent object for some time….quite possibly two whole minutes. He's never seen anything like that before. Tim looked at David……
'Have you touched it?'
'Umm……..go on…….just put it back where it was. Go on……..it won't bite.'
Tim put his hand up to touch it but withdrew his outstretched fingers at the last moment.
'No, I don't want to David.'
'Coward. I will then.'
David took the object carefully from where it was…..just visible from under a pile of face cloths.
'There……..it's nice isn't it. Does it remind you of something………or rather somebody?'
David smiles at Tim, raising his eyebrows slightly in that 'knowing' way of his. Tim of course knew that David was referring to him.
'Do you think so? I mean…….really?'
'Umm, I do……exactly……in every way.'
Tim didn't see what David was doing surreptitiously in the corner of the sitting room. He's found a tiny scrap of paper and written something on it, and then still unnoticed, slipped back into the bathroom and placed the scrap of paper under the object in question. It was a naughty thing to do but he wanted to move matters on and he knew that Tim wouldn't, as much as he'd like to.
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