The Year of the Rat
by Nico Grey
Chapter 14
Jebby waited patiently for me. I could almost see his tail wagging when I carefully eased the door open. That made me feel good and guilty, both at the same time.
He needed me. And now that I really understood what he had suffered for months in the home of that pastor, I felt awful for denying him anything that he needed.
We still had a few hours before the sun would start its journey over the horizon. But I didn't really have a plan for the evening.
Jebby simply needed me. He needed the assurance of someone in his life that cared for him, who was there for him. He needed to know that he could rely on that.
I had shared my mind with Taryn and Dylan earlier in the evening. I couldn't do that for Jebby.
I had just shared my love with Mike. I could do that for Jebby. And I felt a strong need to do that with more than hugs and kisses. I wanted him to have a clear demonstration of my commitment to him. I thought he needed that. And after what I had seen earlier, I felt that he deserved it.
I took off my clothes and slipped into our nest. I held out my hand to him. I reassured him with my eyes.
Later, I even squealed for him a bit. But he made me do it.
I returned to consciousness gradually. Somehow, it was different compared to my usual return from vampire sleep. I felt a strong sense of well-being; like my body, my mind, and the whole world around me was in complete, peaceful harmony.
The sun was falling below the western horizon. I could feel it.
I could also feel Jebby lying next to me. His slow, gentle breathing told me that he was sleeping.
I didn't think he could have slept for the entire twelve hours I had been sleeping. He must have woken at least once during my night. But he hadn't left me.
He hadn't even left our nest. I could feel his naked flesh along the full length of my body.
That stirred reminders of the way we had spent the final hours of the night. I knew how I had felt while it was happening. Lying next to Jebby in our nest, I decided that I still felt the same way. There wasn't even a whisper of regret in my mind.
He had needed reassurance that he could rely on me. He needed to feel that he was loved. He needed to feel that in his bones.
What we had done together had felt good. It felt really good.
With Jebby sleeping so peacefully and trustfully next to me, I understood what I had done for him. That felt even better.
I realized that, without conscious thought, I had made my decision. Trying to co-exist with the human world as a vampire created all sorts of risks and complications. But I had decided that both Jebby and Mike would somehow become part of my life in darkness. I wasn't going to let go of either of them.
I crawled out of our nest, careful not to disturb Jebby. I was surprised by how good I felt. After that beating I had taken the previous night...
I couldn't feel anything. My butt felt just as good as the rest of my body.
I lit a few candles to provide more light. Then I twisted around and tried to get a good look at myself.
I couldn't see any welts. I didn't even notice any redness. But I had sure felt those blows that the preacher had landed on me. Dylan had been quite solicitous of my tender bottom while he was helping me clean up.
I wondered how I had recovered so quickly. As I thought about it, I hadn't even felt any discomfort when Jebby and I were, um, enjoying ourselves. And he hadn't commented about any marks on my butt.
Did my vampire body heal that much faster than my human body had? It seemed a possibility.
And then I was certain. Yes. Vampires recovered from physical injury much faster than humans. Even serious injuries healed within a few days or a week. The only injury that a vampire couldn't heal, at all, was damage to the heart. That would kill vampires.
The knowledge was so clear in my mind. I wondered where it had come from. Was it something that Taryn had told me? I couldn't recall the conversation.
No! I knew that it was something that Dylan had told me. But I still couldn't recall a conversation.
I dug deep into my memory to track down how I knew this. It was definitely Dylan who had told me. And then it was there. A kernel of memory. Actually several clusters of kernels. Each contained discrete memories or knowledge that certainly didn't belong to me.
I couldn't figure out how they had come to be in my mind. The information and the memories didn't involve my participation. I had never been part of them. They were just there. The only explanation that made any sense was that somehow Dylan had managed to leave behind small parts of his mind, of himself, while I was sharing my mind with him.
That was a possibility that demanded my attention. Taryn had told me that even he and his boyfriend weren't able to open their minds to each other like I could open my mind to him. Now there were more possibilities. Was someone else, like Dylan, able to leave parts of themselves in my mind when I opened it to them?
I heard Jebby stirring behind me. He was sitting in our nest, looking at me. I had the feeling that he had been watching me for a while.
When he was aware that I had noticed him, he blushed.
"Maybe we should put our clothes on, Rat," he suggested.
That actually hurt a little bit. I worried if my decision to move so fast in our friendship had upset him.
"Oh, no!" he was quick to assure me. "But with you standing there like that, I want more." His blush became furious.
That was reassuring. And flattering.
"You can have more, Jebby."
I liked the way his eyes lit up. And his shy smile. That was really nice.
"Please. But maybe not too much all at once. I might not be able to stop when your boyfriend..." he trailed off dejectedly.
"That doesn't change how I feel about you, Jebby. I love Mike. And I owe him so much. But I love you, too. Mike wouldn't want to keep me all for himself. He's not that kind of person. He knows that what really matters is the love that we have between us."
That seemed to reassure him. He allowed his eyes to roam again.
"His name is Mike? When can I meet him?"
I thought that was a great idea. There were just a few complications to work out.
"Soon, Jebby. Mike is... Mike isn't feeling well. It's just going to take some time to get all of that sorted out."
He didn't ask any more questions. Jebby crawled out of our nest and joined me. We didn't go any farther, but it felt good to simply hold him and to be held by him.
Well, his hands did a little exploring.
And I couldn't just let him explore alone. I didn't want him to become self-conscious.
We went out a few hours later. I hadn't planned to work for a while. My most recent experience had been quite enough for a while, and I had brought home almost five hundred dollars.
But Jebby was almost desperate to feel like he was contributing to our home. He wanted to earn his keep. And like any other twelve-year-old, he really didn't have very many employment options.
That triggered a thought, as we journeyed down Columbus Drive.
"When's your birthday, Jebby? Have you already turned thirteen?"
It turned out that he hadn't. Like me, he had a summer birthday. July 6th, in his case.
So he needed to know when I would have my birthday. That was a complicated question to answer. I didn't really know if I would have another birthday. It wasn't like a lap counter that vampires used to keep track of their progress in the race of life. It was possible that my race would never end.
He appeared to have something else on his mind. I guess he was just finding it difficult to articulate. I could see his mental shrug when he decided that it could wait.
"That's cool, Rat. We were born less than a week apart." He cast a teasing glance in my direction. "I'm older." He took a moment to reflect. "But you'll always be in charge."
I was tempted to argue. I decided that it wasn't worth disputing. He'd find out soon enough that there would be times when he was in charge, too. That's how life worked. If a relationship was functional, decisions were shared. But there were always times when the knowledge or experience of one friend made them the better choice to make a final decision.
Like with Mike. He really made most of the decisions for us. But I was the only one that could decided what to do about my vampire problem and whether to share it with him... how to share it with him, really.
There was a decent crew waiting for us at Grant Park. There were already six boys in line, waiting to work. Jebby and I joined the crowd.
About fifteen minutes later, Marco strolled in, too. Well, strolled is probably the wrong term to use. He seemed quite tense. Tense, but determined. I wondered what that was all about.
When I had worked with him the previous summer, Marco had been a very occasional worker. Casual labor, I think they call it. Then he disappeared for about seven months. Suddenly he was working two days in a row.
Had something changed in his life? I was tempted to read him. But I decided that he deserved his privacy unless it became clear that there really was a problem.
Marco lit up a little when he saw me. I introduced him to Jebby when he slid into line next to us. It really wasn't protocol to get too friendly with other workers, but the three of us chatted together a few times that evening. It seemed to help Marco relax.
The weather was decent that night. There was plenty of business, even for a large crew. We all spent some time behind the buildings.
I had heard enough from other sex workers to understand that competition for work could sometimes create real tensions. On the streets, many guys had their own spot and would drive competitors away if someone tried to encroach on their territory.
Somehow or other, we never really had that problem in Grant Park. We didn't build close friendships with co-workers, but we all got along together. And in a way, we looked out for each other. If one member of the crew was really in need, other members would find subtle ways to make sure that they got at least some work.
It felt like a couple members of the crew were looking out for Marco that night. I wondered if they knew something that I didn't. I decided that I should help, too. Even if I didn't know the reason why.
Marco, Jebby and I attracted the employers that preferred the youngest workers. Jebby got a lot of work. He really was beautiful. I had my share of offers, too. Marco also ended up behind the buildings a lot. He hadn't been around for a while, but I guess some of the employers remembered him.
There was some disappointment about Marco's limited menu. He had his reasons. I understood why. But when one potential employer tried to make trouble over the reduced menu, I did what I had the night before. I stepped in with my daily special. That guy didn't go home completely happy. But I'm pretty sure that he was satisfied.
We had a little trouble toward the end of the night. Another customer who was disappointed over the change in Marco's offerings. It seemed that they knew each other.
I was ready to step in with my modified menu. The guy had his own ideas. He looked Jebby over and made a decision.
"You two look pretty good together. How about I take you both out back and just watch him fuck you?" He was addressing Marco.
Marco still wasn't into it. Something had really changed his perspective.
The employer was starting to consider other options when Jebby saved the day.
"Could he fuck me?" That sounded familiar. "I mean, I don't want to do that with men. You guys are way too big for me. But I wouldn't mind if he fucks me, if that's okay with you..." he looked at the guy expectantly. Two days on the job and Jebby had already learned some salesmanship!
The rest of the crew looked on with some interest. Such open negotiations rarely took place right in front of everybody.
The guy weighed his options very closely. I think he was trying to see Jebby's butt through his jeans.
Jebby must have noticed. He turned away from the guy a bit and bent down to tie a shoelace. That sold the deal.
As the guy led Marco and Jebby around the building, I finally thought to take a look at the guy's intentions. Once I was satisfied that he was fully bought into the contract, and didn't have any additional ideas of his own, I turned back to wait for more customers.
When Jebby and Marco rejoined us thirty minutes later, they were acting like they were old friends! Jebby couldn't have completely loved being fucked, especially after what he had recently been through, but it seemed that nobody was too disappointed in the transaction.
I thought it was pretty cool that the two of them hung close together until we closed the office an hour later.
Jebby was still in good spirits during our walk home. He had more than two hundred dollars in his pocket, but all he really wanted to talk about was Marco.
It took me a while to figure out the attraction.
Once his initial exuberance had died down, Jebby really wanted to talk about the way I had helped Marco with that employer who was trying to pressure the kid into doing more than he was willing to do. He thought it was really good of me to protect Marco like that. And he thought my two-for-one special offer had been a clever idea.
Apparently that's what Jebby had been trying to do with that second guy who wanted Marco's butt. He just handled it the same way he had with that cowboy that had hired us a few nights earlier. He had even taken the guy and Marco out to my glade in the arborvitae. His motive had been to protect Marco because he thought it was something that I would do.
Jebby had come to like Marco during that half hour they spent together. He sensed that Marco was hurt and scared. He also decided that Marco was lonely.
Marco had certainly opened up to a friendly face pretty quickly, I realized. That was rather perceptive of Jebby.
Jebby didn't get any of Marco's story from him while they were together. But he had a strong sense that they had a lot in common. He felt some kinship with Marco.
Jebby declared that he liked Marco. Inside that declaration was an awareness that the main reason he liked Marco was because he felt empathy for him. He wanted to help. And the reason he had wanted to help, he admitted shyly, is because he wanted to be like me.
That was complicated. I felt the urge to resist his praise. It almost felt like hero worship. But it was gratifying to hear how much Jebby respected me.
We were stopped, waiting to cross East Randolph Street. I sensed that we were returning to an older subject. Jebby seemed to be trying to figure out how to approach it.
"Rat. Um." It didn't seem to be the start he wanted. "I've known you almost five years. I never heard anyone say your name. Not even teachers!" That seemed a pretty big injustice to him.
It's hard to explain. It felt like an awfully big question to me. Like sharing a birthday, it involved revealing a part of myself. It felt like a big step.
"I mean, your name couldn't be Rat, could it?" He regarded me cautiously.
It shouldn't have bothered me. I had already revealed an awful lot about myself to Jebby. An awful lot of myself. But I still hesitated.
"It's not my name. It's just what people call me." I decided. "My parents named me Conrad. I guess that's my name."
It felt like he was making a decision.
"But that's not your real name, either."
I wasn't sure whether it was a question or a statement. That was the name my parents had given me.
"You're a lot more than that." He was considering the problem. "I think your name should be Rad. I mean, you are rad!"
I tried to deflect. I had never been sure about his name. After all, Jebby was just a nickname. What did it stand for?
He wasn't as reluctant to share as I had been.
"My daddy says I was named after a general. Some guy who fought for my state way back in the Civil War. His name was Jeb Stuart. Daddy was real proud of that... and of me... well, he was until he found out that I was unnatural."
He needed a minute to work through his reaction to that admission.
"I've seen my birth certificate. That says my name is Jebediah Stuart Lee. But I like being Jebby." He glanced at me uncertainly, like he was afraid that I might change his name on him.
"I like Jebby, too," I assured him. "Well, I really like you, Jebby. I was just wondering about your name."
And with that, we moved on without a backward glance. Or at least I thought that we had.
We didn't head straight back to our lair. We had to do some shopping first. We needed food and other supplies. And there was no reason not to get what we needed. We had both earned plenty of money that evening.
When we did return to our lair, we put our supplies away. I had a couple of bags for Mike. I dropped them casually in the corridor and hoped that Jebby wouldn't notice.
Jebby wasn't ready for sleep, but he was ready for bed. He switched on one of our solar lanterns and opened a book.
Before he crawled into our nest, he took off his clothes. He looked at me uncertainly.
I couldn't help it. I laughed.
"Didn't you get enough of that earlier?"
He seemed somewhat crestfallen.
"Not that," he assured me. "That's something for special occasions. But I really liked being naked in bed with you, Rad. It just makes me feel that much closer to you."
What could I say to that? I certainly couldn't disagree. I had enjoyed that closeness, too.
I hated that it even crossed my mind, but I also considered that there was no reason to avoid close physical contact. I had just fed a couple of days earlier. It would be several weeks before there was any danger involved if I woke up with a naked Jebby in my arms.
I nodded to let him know I agreed. I was actually looking forward to it. But I still had some business before my night was over.
I promised Jebby that I would be back in about an hour. I decided to exit through the passage into the room next door, just to make sure it worked. I asked Jebby to lock the door to our lair.
I suppose I could have done that myself. I was right there. But I did enjoy watching him. That was nice.
I found Mike sleeping. Dawn was still a couple of hours away. He would have been in deep sleep.
I monitored his breathing. It appeared to be steady enough. There was still some congestion. I wished that he could get rid of it. Not for the first time, I thought about approaching my friend at the drug store and asking about stronger medicines.
I restocked Mike's supplies. He didn't seem to eat a lot, but he was still eating. That was encouraging.
I checked the level of his cough syrup and his cough drops. I decided that he would need more soon.
I was tempted to look through his sketchpads again, but I was already feeling enough guilt for invading his privacy. Besides, I wasn't sure what I would do if I discovered a very lifelike sketch of me with a foot-long penis. That might be freaky.
Instead, I just watched Mike sleep for the rest of my hour there. I relived memories of the months we had spent together. I tried to figure out how we could ever resume our normal life together.
Reluctantly, I prepared to leave. I knelt down next to Mike. I brushed the hair away from the back of his neck. I kissed him. I wanted to do it again.
Instead, I kissed his cheek. Then I kissed him tenderly on his lips.
"I love you, Mike," I breathed.
"I love you, too, Rad."
He returned my kiss.
It didn't shock me this time. Neither did his arms wrapping around the back of my neck.
What shocked me was when he began to nibble on my lower lip... and when I looked directly into his open eyes.
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