The Water Cooler

by N Fourbois

N Fourbois sometimes takes us out of our comfort zones, writing tales that push the boundaries, doing so quietly and without drama or fuss. This is one such tale.

The topic arrives gently, insidiously, but is there solidly all the way through. This is a cautionary tale of things that can go badly awry. Insofar as this site reflects reality you may wish to consider whether this tale presents a reality you do not wish to happen to you, and how to prevent it.

If this is a scenario that has happened to you then you may wish to consider your options. It is not always safe, depending on your location, to involve law enforcement, but that is a preferred solution where it is available to you in safety.

~ Webmaster

© 2018 N Fourbois, All rights reserved

The water cooler, not the works canteen, was the social centre. People met there to exchange tittle-tattle, swap family news, complain about the latest Government outrage or to set up dates. The last of these was what James and Jon had been doing. Everybody knew they were gay and by and large displayed a 'so what?' attitude. They were not predatory gropers and everyone felt safe around them, particularly the women, but that was only natural. They were two good looking young men in their twenties who kept themselves trim with regular exercise in the gym. In time they had become engaged and finally married. Their wedding was warmly supported by colleagues and friends. They had bought a comfortable modern conversion of two cottages into one and lived happily in a hillside village far enough outside town to be idyllic and out of reach for mobile signals, yet with a fast broadband connection on their landline and near enough to be convenient for work and leisure.

As said, they were not 'predatory gropers' and in their professional life their behaviour was irreproachable. However, stories did abound concerning their social life, stories which could only have their source from among the occasional house guests they invited, but these were seldom and selective for the pair were genuinely and deeply in love and if they strayed from the path of monogamy it was always together. Only the most perspicacious of colleagues sensed a change in those who had received preferment, or rather received an invitation to spend a long weekend at James' and Jon's country cottage.

They still met at the water cooler although there was no longer any necessity, unless, of course, they wanted a cup (paper, not plastic, of course) of water each. It was odd how these two independent thinkers had through marriage begun to think alike, read each other's thoughts and cultivate the same tastes.

"James, you've got the hots for him, haven't you?"


"C'mon, you can't keep your eyes off him and you always seem to be here when he is."

"And so do you."

"Yes," said Jon. "That's why I brought the subject up. Don't you think, my darling husband…" He had already lowered his voice. "… he would make the ideal house guest for the upcoming bank holiday weekend?"

"I do. I do, but haven't you noticed that he is the object of the affections of all the young woman in the office?"

"Yes, I have indeed noticed, but that is exactly the point. Haven't you noticed that he may have the odd date, but nothing serious ever comes of it?"

"Jon, how do you know?"

"James, do you live in a bubble or something?"

"No, but…"

"If you're queer, the girls are quite happy to flirt with you or become your fag hag and use you as their agony aunt, because you're safe, and so I know that they're all frustrated because they can't get beyond a one night stand with him, and it's not that he's no good in bed, either. Quite the opposite."

"So what you're saying is we ought to invite him to stay with us?"

"James, I love you. I love your quick intellect. Agreed then?"


"Hush! Here he comes."

"Hi, Colin."

"Hi, guys."

"So what have you got fixed up for the bank holiday?" said James.

"Not a lot. How about you two?"

"We're trying to fix up a house party."

"Hey," said Jon, "I don't s'pose you'd like to join us?"

"We live in the country and so it's walks and that sort of thing. None of the city life."

"En suite bathroom, and… James is a damn good cook."

"Sounds like just what I need," replied Colin. "You're on."

"I'll tell you what we'll do," said Jon. "Friday before bank holiday is always Poets' Day in the office."

"Poets' Day?"

"Yeah, piss off early, tomorrow's Saturday," grinned James.

"Bring a weekend bag and some walking boots. Leave your car in the executive car park. It'll be safe there, and we'll take you out to our cottage in ours."

"Watch out," said James. "The boss is on the prowl. We'd better get some work done."

James and Jon had a couple of evenings to make their home spick and span ready for their guest.

"So what are we going to do with Colin?" said Jon. James burst into giggles.

"Saturday he'll have to fit into our routine and we'll take him out for dinner in the evening. Sunday a leisurely day's rambling and I'll cook a roast in the evening. Monday at home with one of your bijou déjeuners sur l'herbe. Perhaps a stroll in the afternoon and for the evening we'll order in a pizza. I'll do some bits and pieces to go with it. He'll have earned it by then."

"Then Thursday we'd better go to Waitrose and stock up."

"Okay, but after Michael Portillo's Railway Journeys, all right?"

"You and Michael Portillo, someone would think you had the hots for him."

"Just because I met him once and he was very kind to me," said James. James blushed and gave a coy smile.

Friday morning

James, Jon and Colin met by the water cooler.

"All set for the weekend, Colin?" said Jon.

"Yes, looking forward to it."

"Meet you down in the car park at two and we can put your luggage into our car. Move your car into the execs' park and we'll take you home."

"I've parked my car next to yours to make things easier. I hope I've got everything."

"Don't worry. So long as you've got your walking boots, we can supply anything else you might need.

The weather was set warm and fair for the long weekend. James and Jon waited until two o'clock to swipe their IDs and take the lift down to the subterranean garage. Colin was already waiting for them with the boot of his car open. He transferred his luggage, a suitcase, a rather tasteful two-piece suit with shirt and tie on a hanger and, of course, the compulsory walking boots with a pair of thick socks stuffed inside. He drove his car into the executive car park, which by this time on any Friday would already be empty of executives, and climbed into the back of their car. As they moved off, the child lock clicked, an ominous omen of what was over the next three days to come.

"Nice car," said Colin.

"This is our runabout. James has got the same model, but in white and top of the range."

"Consecutive number plates, a sort of his and his."

"The company must be paying you well."

"Not really," said Jon. "A living wage, you might say, but we each have a private income. I invest in stocks and shares and James has a legacy."

"We spent most of that on renovating and combining the cottages, but now we're married it all belongs to both of us. All joint accounts."

"I thee with all my worldly goods do bestow, and all that."

Today the normally thirty minute journey was taking twice that. Everyone else had the same idea, to get away for the bank holiday weekend, and earlier than usual to beat the holiday rush. The situation was not helped by a broken down truck on the main road up the escarpment. The journey became easier once they left the main road at the turn off for their hamlet. Finally they reached the village hidden in a wooded valley with a brook running alongside the road. Jon drew up in front of a five barred gate. James hopped out and opened it, Jon drove in and the gate was closed behind him. The doors of a double garage opened electrically and Colin could see James's gleaming white car in one half. They unloaded and Jon drove in. They used the door from the garage to arrive in the kitchen and the garage door closed behind them.

"I think the first thing we could do with is a cup of tea," said Jon. "I'll make it while you, James, show Colin where he can put his stuff." Colin look around his room. It had en suite facilities, an inbuilt wardrobe and what appeared to be a camp bed with a pillow, duvet and a bottom sheet on it. He thought it was a bit sparse, but it was only for four nights anyway.

"Leave your stuff in here, Colin, and we'll get a cup of tea. By the time they arrived in the garden, Jon had laid a table for three on the lawn with scones, jam and whipped cream. Meanwhile the Holly dog had been released and came bounding up to greet James, who in turn introduced her to Colin. Her masters could see that she took to him immediately which was a relief for she was an unfailing judge of character and it would help the weekend go more smoothly. It might not be the same later with Marmaduke, the marmalade cat, who ruled the household, or at least liked to think so, and was far more discerning as far as visitors were concerned. Holly also held the privilege of being the only female to be granted residence, permanent or temporary, in the household. Jon played mother and poured.

"Mmm, scrumptious scones," mumbled Colin as he battled with excess strawberry jam and cream on his lips.

"I said James was a wizard cook. Just one of his little delights. While we're clearing away in a few minutes, why don't you go upstairs and change into something more comfortable? You can't spend the whole weekend in your work clothes." When Colin came down again he found that his hosts had completely discarded their clothes and were just wearing sandals.

"How did you two meet?" enquired Colin.

"At uni. We were at a party with one or two gays there and we spotted each other across a crowded room as the song goes. We didn't realise it at the time, but I suppose it was love at first sight." James came back with the teapot. "Colin was just asking how we got together in the first place."

"Do you really want to know?" asked James. Colin nodded. "Well, it was like this…"

"Take your kit off and make yourself comfortable," said Jon.

"The odd thing was that there was nothing serious to begin with. The first thing we discovered at the party was that we lived in the same hall of residence and hadn't come across one another before. After the party we started to hang out with one another. The next thing we found out was that we were at the same college."

"Same college, different faculties. We bumped into each other walking back to hall one afternoon. We didn't even talk to one another about being gay. In fact, I thought James, like me, was on the look out for a regular girlfriend. We'd both been up to tricks at school, but that was a thousand years ago. Now we were out of school, it was a brand new world with a brand new start."

"As I said, we began to hang out together, eat together in hall, go to the pictures or theatre together, but we weren't on dates."

"Neither of us made a move or came on to the other."

"Unfortunately," added Jon. "All those wasted weeks." They looked at each other with those looks that only lovers can give.

"We'd got to the stage where we would ask what each other was doing over the following weekend. I'd already said I hadn't any plans when Jon said he was going down to his parents' house in the country on Friday, returning on Monday morning. He needed to get out of town, needed to get away from his university studies. I now know that meant he was trying to get a break from me," said James. "Or was it in fact the opposite?" He smiled at Jon and squeezed his hand.

'Hey, James, I don't suppose you'd like to come as well?' said Jon.

'Well, it would be better than staying in town and studying. I'm pretty well up to date with my work, anyway. So I'll say yes.' Jon continued.

'So that's what we did.' Midday on the Friday they met on the college concourse, each carrying a hold all, and walked off to the station.

Anyway, they got out at this railway junction in the wilds of the country, caught a bus and had to walk half a mile from the remote village where they had got off the bus to where Jon's house was. It was a big modern detached house in its own grounds."

'It's not that big,' protested Jon as if he had to apologise for living in a posh house. 'Oh, by the way, my parents are away on holiday. We'll have to fend for ourselves.' Jon didn't know at that point what a fantastic cook James was and he didn't want him to be put off by the idea that here he was miles from civilisation alone with me in a strange house, and that it might not be such a lazy weekend after all.'

Jon took James up to his room, showed him his own and then showed him round the house. They then thought they deserved a cup of tea.

"I think then we fell asleep in the armchairs." After they'd woken up, Jon produced something from the fridge and the freezer and they ate that night. When they had cleared away, Jon said

'There is one thing I haven't shown you.' He took me into a room at the back of the house. 'This is the library.' He opened the door. Indeed, there were shelves stacked with books around the walls of the room, in the middle of the library stood a full size snooker table.

'Do you play snooker, James?' They often played pool back at hall. He said he did, but rarely got the chance. 'Do you want a game now?' He wasn't going to give up a chance like that."

They were pretty well matched. They were probably on the fifth frame…

'Sixth, love,' corrected Jon.

'My cue slipped off the cue ball as I broke,' said James. 'That was bollocks, not concentrating,' James said. Jon was paying more than adequate attention to chalking up the tip of his cue, smirking and giving James the eye all the time.

'Jon, I feel I am getting a gross insight into your sex life.'

'Nah, it's like this,' and he started tonguing the end of his cue. 'You want to try this with your girlfriend.'

'You're gross,' I countered. 'One of my best friends says you're homo, Jon.'

'Because I'm the best wingman1 ever.' Jon took his shot, miscued and the black disappeared into the middle pocket without being touched by the white. 'Shit. It's because I'm sexually threatening.'

'You're certainly threatening me.'

They finished the game with that frame. Neither of them was playing particularly well. They went and watched a DVD, sitting together on the sofa. Jon fell asleep with his head on James's shoulder. He gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and since he didn't wake up, he left him there and went up to bed."

Next morning

Jon was up first. He went down to the kitchen dressed only in a pair of tighty-whities, tight across his butt cheeks and with a detailed outline of his dick in the pouch. He started making breakfast. He had just taken some eggs out of the fridge when James arrived in white tee shirt and long black basketball shorts. He walked straight past him without saying anything.

"Morning," said Jon. No reply. James was filling a glass with water from the tap. Jon gave him a kiss on the neck. "I'm making breakfast. You're welcome."

"I can't do this anymore," said James finally in a tone of exasperation.

"Do what?"

'Be around you like this,' he said waving his hand towards Jon, more precisely towards his bulging tighty-whities.

'What do you mean? It was only a kiss. Jeez…'

'I can't handle being here with you… because it hurts. It hurts because I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you. It's weird 'cos I think of you all the time like how I usually think about girls.'

'I had no idea.'

'I just don't know what to think right now. I'm freaked out. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.'2

James was looking down at the sink. Jon walked across the kitchen, turned him and faced him. He pulled him in to a long kiss on the lips and then their tongues engaged.

'Are you sure?' asked Jon. With only the slightest hesitation James answered in almost a whisper


"That's basically it," said James. "The kissing became more intense as we slipped each other's clothes off."

"James lifted me onto the work surface. I said to him 'Do you want to suck my dick?' I was in ecstasy. After we'd sucked each other for some time, I asked him 'Do you want to fuck me?' It was the best shag I'd ever had. From then on we were an item. We were in love. Finally we went off to clean up in the shower together and had breakfast. No need to ask what we did for the rest of the weekend.

On Monday Jon's parents arrived back just as James and Jon were leaving. Jon was pleased to be able to introduce James to them, albeit only as a friend at that time. They liked him immediately. Not only that, Jon's father said "Use our taxi to drive to the station," and he paid the fare for them.

"We married during the summer after finals and managed to get jobs with the same company. Actually…" Jon dropped his voice. "…we were headhunted and so it was a great opportunity to remain together. James's surname is Husband and so I decided to take his name as my married name. It can be fun at times confusing people and yet emphasising that although we are two blokes, we are married."

"So when did you discover you were gay, Jon?"

"At school. Year 9. In the summer holidays things had started happening, as it were, and when I went back to school into Year 9 it was as an adolescent rather than a small boy, a rather pretty one according to what people said to me. For that reason, which I could never fathom at the time, I drew the attention of the new sixth form boys and they introduced me to one or two tricks I might otherwise never have known, and the rest is history as they say. I was popular with them, never bullied and had protected status for two years. After that I started looking for my own boys to 'protect'." He grinned wickedly.

"Anyone for more tea?" said James.3

"I'll have another cup," said Jon. James took the teapot into the kitchen and made a fresh brew. "James really is a treasure. I feel so lucky to have him."

"How about James?"

"Why don't you ask him?" James was just re-appearing out of the kitchen door with a fresh pot of tea.

"Ask me what?"

"Colin had asked me how I discovered that I was gay and then wanted to know how you found out about yourself."

"At university. My roommate was gay. So naturally I met his friends, which included Jon, and that was it. Before uni I had never thought much about girls and at uni he introduced me to something better…" He winked and smiled at his husband. "… boys. Jon was the first person to seduce me."

"Family secrets," smiled Jon with pride, who was teasing rather than being annoyed. "And you seduced me."

"And a thousand others."

Colin came back down after freshening up and putting some clean clothes on.

"Thank you, guys, for unpacking my bag and putting all my things away."

"All part of the service," said James.

"We'll give you the guided tour of the estate and then I suggest we go down to the pub and get ourselves a snack."

"Early night tonight."

"We always do on Friday after a long week at work…"

"… and an early start tomorrow. We've appointments at nine in the salon."


"Yeah, we get a proper shave, our hair trimmed and a facial and a massage. We've booked you in as well, Colin. Don't worry about the cost. They're doing a special three for the price of two offer this week."

"No worries," said Jon. "You're our house guest this weekend. Everything's on us."

"The pleasure of your company will more than repay us," said James and the two husbands smiled benignly at one another.

The pub was full of the local population. It was hard to see where they had all come from in such a small community. The beer was good as was the food which went much of the way to answering the question. Holly lay quietly under the table. At ten the three said good night and wandered back to the cottage.

"That bright star near the moon is Venus," said Jon.

"And the one directly opposite in the east is Jupiter," added James.

"If you look directly up, you will see the swathe of the Milky Way. Without street lights and with pure air you'll see it, but you won't in town because of light pollution." Jon opened the five barred gate, Holly pushed her way in and was first at the front door. "Cup of cocoa, you two guys?"

After they had finished their cocoa and biscuits, James said "Time to hit the hay, I think." Jon put the mugs into the dishwasher and they went upstairs and said good night. James and Jon closed the door of their room and undressed. Husband and husband slept naked together. These good looking young men were trim for they exercised. Neither had any pubic hair because it was regularly shaved off. That way they could make a better display of their genitals, and of the single tattoo they each sported. As men they were different. Their dicks were approximately the same length, maybe James's was a tad longer but their clusters were clearly different. James's very soft dick hung straight down like a plumb line and his foreskin covered the glans. His balls were large and his scrotum loose and everything would swing as he walked. Jon's balls were also on the large size, but his scrotum was tight and protruded. Consequently it pushed forward his dick, which was chunkier and more solid than James's, when it hung flaccid – you could never call it soft – at a forty-five degree angle while his foreskin only covered half of his acorn.

They were about to have a good night kiss when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." As he looked round the door, Colin's jaw dropped when he observed his hosts completely naked, in an embrace and naturally not a little unexcited. "Come in, Colin. Don't be shy. We're not," said Jon.

"I'm sorry to disturb you guys," an agitated Colin said hesitantly, but my bed and pyjamas seem to have disappeared."

"Oh, don't worry about that," said James. "You can sleep in ours. It's a king size bed. Sleeps three easily, four at a push." Colin looked at the huge bed with its clean, smart, black bed linen.

"And as you can see, we sleep in the nude anyway," encouraged Jon.

For Colin it was Hobson's choice, but obviously his hosts weren't going to offer him another bed.

"You go in the middle, Colin," said Jon. "It'll make us behave ourselves while we have a guest." He and James burst into a fit of the giggles.

"Leave your clothes in the spare room," suggested James.

They settled into bed with a naked Colin in the middle. Jon leaned over him to give his husband a good night kiss and then each gave Colin a peck on the lips. James put the light out, they said good night and soon fell asleep,


It was light when Colin woke to find himself in an empty bed. He looked at the clock. He had a throbbing ache in his bottom, one which was on the threshold between pain and pleasure. He thought he had better get up for he remembered his hosts had said something about an early start. He climbed out of bed and put his bare foot down on something squidgy. He looked down and saw on the floor the knotted used condom that he had just stepped on. Another one lay near it, not knotted.

At that moment Jon, naked apart from what looked like a white towelling miniskirt round his waist, appeared.

"Good morning, Colin. How did you sleep?" He placed a tray with a mug of tea and some biscuits on it on the nightstand by the bed.

"Like a log," said Colin. "It's just that I've got this funny pain in the butt."

"Oh, I'll get you a couple of Paracetamol. That'll soon go. Get yourself showered and dressed. By that time James will have breakfast on the table in the kitchen."

Down in the kitchen James had just got the porridge right when Colin came in carrying the tray with the mug.

"Morning, Colin, how's your arse?

"Oh, shut up."

"Mmm, so's mine," said Jon. "Must be the weather."

"Jon! The poor chap's just lost his cherry and it's left him with some discomfort and all you can do is make jokes about it."

"Sorry," said Jon, bowing his head and sticking his thumb into his mouth. He gave Colin a kiss on the cheek. It was finally all coming together for Colin. The pain in the butt, the two used condoms and the news he had lost his virginity. But… the pain had become a pleasurable feeling after the pills and what's more, he didn't seem to care. But why didn't he wake up? Aren't you supposed to enjoy losing your cherry?

"You'll probably think I'm a bit of a whinger," said Colin, but when I came to get dressed, I couldn't find my underpants."

"They'll be in your room somewhere," said James.

"Oops!" said Jon. "I probably got them muddled up with the dirty laundry and they're going through the washing machine at the moment."

"Don't worry," said James. "When we're not at work, we always go commando. We are at the moment."

"Feels good to let your nuts bounce up and down a bit," said Jon. "Not that mine do much, they're so tight, but I do sport a good bulge in my 501s and get quite a few guys checking me out."

"And not a few women," said James.

"Do I? I've never really noticed."

At half past eight they climbed into James's car and were speeding their way into town for their appointment at the salon.

Colin was in a good mood when the three climbed out of the car, immediately outside Todd's Beauty Parlour.

"Good morning, boys," said Binky, the receptionist. "You're sharp this morning."

"Lots to do today."

"Well, are you going to introduce your friend?"

"This is Colin," said Jon. "He's spending the weekend with us. You'll see that he's booked in."

"And it's the three for two offer," added James.

"Oh, yes," said Binky. "I've got all the particulars down here. Colin, walk this way."

"If he could walk that way, he wouldn't need the salon, of course," said Jon.

Colin was taken upstairs to the main studio while our boys sat in separate cubicles in the main salon.

"About time you changed these pictures, Binky," said Jon. "They're beginning to get that vintage look."

"Just waiting for the new addition of GY mag to pop through the door, luv, and it will be my first job."

Colin was taken into the studio.

"Hallo, I'm Pat, your beauty consultant for the day." He wasn't quite sure whether it was Patrick or Patricia, and he didn't think that Pat did either. "Now, Colin, I want you to take all your clothes off and lie on the couch. We'll start with the massage. It will really tone up your muscles and leave you ready for anything and everything the weekend can throw at you." The massage made him feel very good and at ease with the world. "Now come and sit in the chair." The chair looked like a converted dentist's chair, covered with a paper sheet to keep it unsoiled. Colin lay back and was given a body shave. He must have fallen asleep for he could not remember having his pubic hair and butt crack shaved. Indeed, he knew nothing about the pair of entwined Mars symbols that had been tattooed just above his groin, and he wasn't to for some hours yet, either. In his waking moment Pat told him he just needed to have his hair trimmed and he would be ready to go into the shower and clean himself up.

When Colin was ready, he was taken to rejoin James and Jon who expressed their approval of what they could see, James in more way than one as his undie-less cock decided to pop a bone in his khaki chinos.

"James! Behave yourself! I can't take you anywhere," but his sharp reprimand was not sufficient to take attention away from his own dick which was poking out against his well washed 501s.

"I take it, gentlemen, that you fully approve of the services we have rendered," said Binky as he handed James the debit card receipt. They most certainly did for they had been watching Colin's little procedure on the web cam in the studio. They had, after all, paid for it. The weekend had got off to an excellent start thanks to the addition of a little rohypnol to the cocoa and with the Valium in the paracetamol bottle. From now on its success would be entirely dependent on how James and Jon handled it, and they were not novices in the art.

"We'd better get back," said James. Holly will be wanting her walkies."

When James, Jon and Colin returned home, Holly bounded up to greet them, wagging her tail. She sniffed Colin's crotch with great interest.

"Down, girl," commanded Jon. She obeyed instantly and wandered off, returning with her lead in her mouth. She was not going to allow her masters to get a cup of coffee.

"You're not the boss dog," said James and went off to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Jon said

"Actually we trained her to that when we're out, at the pub, say. If we see a guy we fancy, we tell her to sniff his crotch. We have to apologise, we may even have to buy him a drink, but it gets us into conversation and the victim usually ends up having a mug of cocoa with us back at the cottage."

"Are there so many gay blokes around, then?" asked Colin.

"Oooh! Who's talking about gay blokes? We're not fussy." Jon was dying to see what Colin had had done at the beauty salon, but he just had to be patient like Holly.

"You don't seem to be able to get a mobile signal here," said Colin. "I've been trying to make a phone call. See that my mother's okay."

"Yeah, great, isn't it? You can use the landline, if you want. Even work hasn't got our landline number and so we don't get disturbed." Colin made his call while the coffee was brewing and after a hurried coffee break, they locked up the house and took Holly across the fields for her walkies.

"So how did you like the attentions of Pat at the salon then, Colin?"

"Well, to be honest, I don't know. The massage made me so relaxed that I almost fell asleep and when he put me in the chair for my shave, facial and hair trim, I really did fall asleep." James and Jon gave each other a knowing look.

"Can't wait to see," said Jon.

"You'll just have to wait until we go swimming."

"Swimming?" said Colin. "We could have done that while we were still in town."

"Oh, no, duckie," said Jon in his most camp voice. "We have our own pool in the basement."

"I wish you'd told me. I'd have brought my swimming costume. I've just bought a new pair of boardies and I'm dying to try them out." James and Jon looked at each other and burst out into a guffaw.

"We keep some speedos by the pool," said James.

"For guests. We never wear them," continued Jon.

"Wot? Board shorts?" said Colin.

"No, luv!" said Jon. "Anything."

"Well, we might on the beach or if the temperature drops," added James, "but don't let us inhibit you, Colin. You're welcome to use them."

"Oh, no!" exclaimed Jon. They had been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't noticed that they were approaching the lake. You couldn't stop Holly from going into any water, apart from by keeping her on the lead. Spaniels are water dogs and it's their nature to flush out wildfowl. She never caught any. That was not her genetic remit. But it would be interesting to see what she would do if she did. The birds settled on the other side of the lake and Holly had a paddle. When they called her, she came out and shook the excess water over James, Jon and Colin.

Back at the cottage Holly was dried with a towel before she was allowed indoors. She was not allowed into the pool area and so she was settled in her basket before James, Jon and Colin went down the steps into the basement.

"What's in there?" asked Colin as they got to the door.

"That's our gymnasium," said James.

"You'll get a chance to use it tomorrow," said Jon.

"And I suppose you do that with no clothes on?"

"Certainly not. Have you never heard of an abdominal support?"

"Do you mean a jockstrap?"

"Precisely. You need the support when you're working out on the equipment."

"It's okay, Colin. We have a stock of those too," said James.

"We collect them, you know."

"Where from?"

"Here and there." James whispered "We have even been known to take them as payment in kind for certain services… know what I mean?" He tapped the side of his nose with his forefinger.

"We've even got a vintage Litesome," said Jon.

"In its original red carton," said James.

"But it's too valuable to wear. Three figures on eBay."

"If you can find one.

"They like Bike straps in America," said Colin.

"Huh!" exclaimed Jon. "Inferior nylon things," he protested dismissively.

Jon switched on the lights and they started to get undressed.

"There's a pile of white towels on the bench." This was the moment the husbands had been waiting for.

"C'mon," said Jon "let's have a look at you. My, you're quite a hunk." Jon and James could finally examine his tackle.

"Low hangers, eh? We can have some fun there."

"And a chunky dick. It'll be great getting our tongues under that foreskin." At that James and Jon both popped boners.

"Look what you two queers are doing now!" exclaimed Colin.

"Hey, hold on a minute," said James. "That's a bit rich, Colin. You accept a long weekend with two married guys, you sleep with them, get yourself fucked…"

"Twice!" interjected Jon.

"… go to a gay beauty parlour and get yourself a gay tattoo…"

"Tattoo? What gay tattoo?"

"Come over here and have a look in the mirror." Colin did so and he saw two Mars symbols intertwined, depicted on his pubis, on the left just above his cock.

"What the…"

"Don't worry," said Jon. "Look at ours. It suits you. It's only a transfer. It'll wear off in less than a month." (It wasn't, and it wouldn't. It was permanent.)

"Everybody can see now that you're a bona fide homo, just like us."

"So who are you to call people queers?" finished off James.

"Stand up straight. We want to inspect the tattoo," said Jon.

"You're not trying to convert me, are you?"

"Certainly not. Scientists have long established that you are what you are. It's impossible to convert anybody's sexuality."

"Either way."

"Your mistake was to think that you were straight in the first place. Your one night stands soon spotted that you were gay."

"Women always have much more acute gaydar than men."


"It's a gift, a talent, the ability to spot a homo in the crowd. James has got very good gaydar."

"Don't you feel cleaner without all that pubic hair?" asked James.

"I suppose I do, really," replied Colin. "I haven't had time to think about it."

"Did Pat shave your butt? He was told to. Turn round and bend over. Oh, yes, a neat job. Mmm. nice rosebud too."

"It's not too bad if we're wearing a jonnie, but it's not so pleasant bare-backing a hairy arse, especially when it comes to cleaning up afterwards."

"You're going to… er, bareback me?"

"Of course we are, duckie."

"You'll be begging for it if we don't."

"You've lost your cherry and had your crack shaved and so it's the natural progression."

"Unnatural progression," giggled Jon, wallowing in his own sexuality.

"It should make it quite easy to give you a good time."

At that moment, at the point of enlightenment, Colin popped a boner.

"Wow, that is magnificent!" said Jon. He knelt down, slowly pulled Colin's foreskin back and took his dick into his mouth. Colin made no attempt to resist, but closed his eyes, drew in deep breaths and moaned in ecstasy. Eventually he came and being inexperienced, gave no warning. He covered Jon's face with his semen, large thick wads of creamy spunk. He immediately apologised. "Nothing to apologise for. Many gays would pay a lot to have their faces covered in spunk like that." Jon took a towel from the bench and cleaned himself up.

While all this had been going on, James had been watching intently and quietly masturbating. When he came off, he directed the ejaculate at his husband's crevice and knelt down to clean it up with his tongue. Cleaned up, all three dived into the water and got on with their swim.

When they got out, they were suffering in varying degrees from the cold water effect (CWE). James's dick and balls shrivelled up inside his body; Jon's tight scrotum had become even tighter while his dick pointed forwards as if he had a half hard on, but he didn't; Colin's low hangers still hung low, but his dick had nevertheless shrivelled.

They went upstairs into the kitchen. While James put a snack together, Jon fed Holly. Afterwards they took a rest, spreading themselves out in the living room. They had dinner in a restaurant to look forward to and they wanted to have the stamina for fun time when they returned. After their rest they watched a DVD, Mitch & Andy, and then it was time to change and go out. Colin was glad that he had packed a suit. Dinner was at that kind of hotel.

It was a fantastic evening marred by one mild contretemps.

"Good evening, sir," said the receptionist.

"Good evening, madam. I have table number 7 booked in the name of Mr James Husband. Three people." The receptionist looked down her list.

"Apologies, but table number 7 has been double booked. I can offer you number 16 which is in a quiet alcove with a window overlooking the valley."

"Does Louis serve at table 16?"

"I'm sorry, sir. Your waitress will be Marleen."

"I specifically booked a table with Louis as the waiter. Perhaps Louis and Marleen can swap tables for the evening?"

"I regret we don't do that sort of thing, sir."

"In that case, would you cancel the booking, please? I understand the Stallion and Horseshoe in the village serves some very good pub grub." He made to go. "Good…"

"One moment, sir. I'll have a word with the manager."

After a few moments the manager, who was dressed formally in black tie, appeared.

"Good evening, Mr Husband, gentleman. My apologies for the booking error. I have arranged for Louis to serve at table 16. I hope that as regular guests you will find that acceptable."

"I'll just consult my husband and our guest." James strung out the agony and came back. "Thank you. We would be pleased to accept your offer." The manager himself conducted the trio across to table 16. Dressed in a white shirt, black bow tie, long white apron which unfortunately covered his package, and black trousers which against the white accentuated his delicious butt, Louis was already at table 16 to greet his guests.

The trio enjoyed their evening at dinner. Louis was extremely efficient and attentive. When they were ready to go, James said

"I'll just go and settle the bill." He found Louis clearing table 7.

"Would you just come with me, sir, to the card machine?"

"It's taking him a long time to settle the bill," said Colin.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that. We like to tip Louis generously and James is probably still giving him head."

"Oh," said Colin. "I must say that was a lovely… He's doing wot?"

"He's giving him head. A blowjob. He's sucking his dick."

"That's what I thought you said, but…"

"It's all part of the service. Now you know why James insisted on having him as our waiter."

"But isn't he a bit young? I mean, isn't against the law? He looks just a kid."

"Oh, no. The hotel can't employ anyone under eighteen to serve alcohol for a start. Ah, here he comes. James, use your handkerchief, dear. You've left a bit on your upper lip. That's better."

"Are we all ready?

"I'll just take a pee," said Colin.

"I think I'd better come with you."

Standing at the urinals Jon peered across at Colin.

"That's a lovely chunky piece of Bratwurst you're holding there. I can't wait to feel that penetrating my sphincter."

"Wot? You mean…?"

"If it weren't so late, I'd take you into a cubicle right now and let you have your wicked way with me." Jon shook off rather vigorously. They returned to their table where James was waiting for them. He smiled to himself as he saw the wet patch on Colin's beige suit trousers. 'Obviously not used to going commando,' he thought.

Reaching the car, James and Jon took their jackets and ties off and laid them in the immaculate boot. Thinking it was the thing to do, Colin did the same. Jon opened the back door of the car to let Colin in and then followed him into the back seat. Colin thought it a little strange as Jon had ridden shotgun in the outward journey, but he said nothing. James said

"Ah, here he comes." To the amazement of Colin, Louis climbed into the front seat.

"Sorry I was a bit of a time. The manager was quizzing me about why I had taken so long clearing up."

"What did you say?" enquired James.

"I said one of the guests was giving me a blowjob in the gents and he said 'Oh, in that case that's perfectly in order.'"

"You didn't?"

"No, of course I didn't. I like working here, but I think he suspects that something had been going on. Where are we going?"

"Up to the viewpoint." James started the engine and they heard the ominous click of the child lock.

James pulled into the parking area, stopped and switched the engine off. There were half a dozen cars already parked there, and a van. The van was noticeably and audibly rocking on its suspension.

"Some dogging going on there all right," remarked Jon.

"Dogging?" asked Colin.

"Having sex in public," explained James. On Friday and Saturday nights the police are too understaffed to patrol up here. It's fight night in the bars in town. They're all down there dealing with the drunks and the druggies." There was still a glow in the sky. It rarely got fully dark on a cloudless night at that time of year. They sat there admiring the view with its lights for ten minutes. By then all the other cars had gone. Only the van remained and that was still bouncing on its springs. "Well, are you ready, Louis?"

"Sure," and in seconds he was naked after just taking his white shirt and black trousers off.

"Who do you want to take you first?" said James.

"Jon. He makes it easier to take your dick then."

"Colin, come and sit in the front." Jon already had his shirt and trousers off. "And, Jon, don't forget to use a rubber." James hated any mess in his car. "There are plenty in the side pockets. Uranus brand."

"We find them the most sensitive and the snuggest fit. No danger of them slipping off. Nothing worse than crapping out a rubber the next morning." Jon got out of the car. He was already hard. Colin was suitable impressed. He straddled Louis across the back seat, took a syringe filled with K-Y from one of the side pockets and inserted it into Louis's rosebud. Then he slipped a condom over his rampant cock and got on with the job. No foreplay. He made gentle love to his husband; he fucked Louis, and he fucked him hard. He came quickly and pulled out.

"Your turn now, Colin. Go easy with him, Louis. It's his first time as a top." James rolled a rubber over Colin's cock.

"Okay, you're ready to go." Colin was hard enough, just a little tentative. Louis used his hands to spread his cheeks to make it easy for Colin to find his rosebud. James was even shining a torch onto it. Colin's dick found the right place, he gave a gentle push. He was in and soon started pumping as if he'd been doing it all his life. The only trouble was that, being inexperienced, he came too quickly. Finally it was James's turn and he used this as an opportunity to give a master class. He made it last and when he eventually did come, he gave Louis a prostatic orgasm at the same time. He stayed in until Louis had calmed down and when he pulled out, he poured the contents of the rubber over Louis's crevice and cleaned him up with his tongue. Colin was so taken with this that he jerked himself off and easily came again.

"That'll get the excess water off your belly," said Jon.

Louis's face was covered in sweat and he looked a little drained after an eight hour shift, a blowjob and three poundings in a row, but he still had a smile on his face.

"Time for bed, I think," said James. They put their trousers and shirts back on and motored back to the Husbands' cottage.

Holly was pleased to see them when they arrived back home. She could probably sniff the doggy bag. Jon took her out for a walk while James made some cocoa. They sat in the sitting room, James and Jon on the sofa with Holly in between them, Colin and Louis in armchairs.

"Louis, Colin is learning how to be queer."

"James! You've got a way with words."

"I obviously didn't get away with those words," grinned James. "Tell us how you found out about your preference for the dick." Louis was only too happy to.

"It all happened at school really. I started puberty during the summer after Year 8. When I returned to Year 9, it was with a new voice, pubic hair and larger testicles and dick. Oddly the other boys had always taken the piss out of me. They said I was girl because I had no balls, a tiny dick and a squeaky voice. They just had to change their tune when they saw me in the changing room that autumn. But that was not the only thing. I could never get my dick and bollocks to sit comfortably in my trousers and I kept popping boners for no reason, all of which then meant I kept fiddling with myself. That brought me to the attention of some senior boys. Well, you can guess what happened. They wanted sex with me, and when they did things with me or got me to do things to them, I found that I really enjoyed it. You know, I sucked this boy and found I liked it. So I was gay. So what?

"Time went on. I was no longer a junior boy. I had become a senior, and there were other seniors in our group, and we found our own junior boys. It became quite a tradition at our school. Attracted pupils that might otherwise of gone to another school." James and Jon winced at the misuse of 'of'.

"We're going to have to speak to the boy about that," commented Jon quietly to James.

"Are you still at school?" asked Colin.

"No. I'm on a gap year. I've got my A-levels and my university place. I want some money behind me before I go up."

"Talking about going up, it's time for bed," said Jon.

They went upstairs. The king size bed was freshly made, this time with purple bed linen. James had been right. It could sleep four… at a push. Louis was made to sleep between James and Jon.

"Colin's had a hard day, Louis. He doesn't need you molesting him all night." Colin was amazed at himself. In fact he wouldn't have minded being molested by Louis, but James and Jon were the ones financing his services and in this one instance their hospitality was not going to stretch to Colin, although just as it was getting light he did half wake to find Jon sucking his cock. 'Lie back and think of England,' he thought.


Again Colin was the last to come down to breakfast.

"Good morning, everyone." James was preparing breakfast, wearing just a pinafore which emphasised his butt. Jon had that minute come in from taking Holly for a walk. When he took his hoodie off, he was just wearing his undies.

Colin had started to get used to this as the way two married men ran their household. It wouldn't be to his taste, except… He was distracted and unable to finish the sentence. He could not ignore the fourth person in the room. He did not want to ignore him. Indeed, he was completely unable to ignore him. He looked at, no, he ogled Louis who was standing there in nothing but a tee shirt which came down to just above his pubic hair revealing an attractive butt, a thick stiff prick and two lush balls. 'Must be something he's reading in GY mag,' thought Colin. Colin was unconsciously licking his lips at the same time. Louis said good morning and as he moved, and his tee shirt moved with him, Colin's jaw dropped for there was, to be seen clearly, the two entwined Mars symbols tattooed just above the pubic area. Jon used his middle finger to remove the bubble of precum from Louis's glans and lick his finger clean.

Breakfast had been arranged early because this was the day of the great hike and Louis had to be taken home first. Straight after breakfast James left with him, while Jon and Colin took it easy before stacking the dishwasher.

"How long will James be?" asked Colin.

"There's not much traffic about on a Sunday morning. So probably about an hour."

"So long into town and back?"

"They'll pull over somewhere on the way there and James'll give Louis a good seeing to in the back of the car before they get to his house."


"That's right. You've got it. Now you know why we have tinted windows in the back of our cars. C'mon, Colin, we'd better get the picnic prepared or we won't have anything for lunch, and there aren't any pubs where we're going."

All three enjoyed the hike, although they were pretty bushed when they arrived back. Even the indomitable Holly was showing signs of flagging when they reached the car. Colin was almost resigned to the inevitable that, at some point, they would exchange blowjobs during the hike. When they arrived home, James heated the oven and put the generous joint of sirloin in to roast. They then all three crashed out until the oven alarm woke them.

"Time for a quick shower," said James. "You two can get showered while I'm preparing the meal."

As promised, James produced a banquet. The three were ravenous after their hike in the countryside.

"So what are we doing tomorrow?"

"We'll start off in the gym," said James.

"Don't worry," said Jon. "We'll be having a lie in first or we won't feel the benefit of the long weekend."

"And then just a light snack to take the edge off our hunger before our gym session and swim and brunch later."

"Then we come to the surprise."

"What's that?"

"C'mon, Colin, if we told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," said Jon.

"We'll have a lazy afternoon in the garden and we thought we'd order in a pizza for supper. Do you eat pizza, Colin?"

Bank Holiday Monday

It was past ten o'clock when our boys woke up. They went down to the kitchen for coffee and toast before carrying on down to the gym. It was a bit of a cursory circuit for they were feeling the effects of the previous day's exertions. They then went across to the swimming pool and once they had completed their lengths, they got out and dried themselves off, or rather James and Jon dried each other off.

"Put these on, Colin." It was a pair of neoprene shorts, royal blue with a scarlet trim. What Colin couldn't see, because it was superbly hidden, was a double zip which ran continuously from the front of the elastic waistband through the legs to its back. Colin admired himself, especially his package, in the full-length mirrors.

"Time for our surprise," said Jon. "Come on through to the gym."

"Because it's going to be a surprise, we want you to put this blindfold on. Can you see anything? Good."

Jon threw a couple of switches and the other half of the gym lit up to reveal a different set of apparatus and equipment. It had been there, quite openly, but because that part of the basement had been in darkness, Colin hadn't noticed anything. Now he was blindfolded. James supported him.

"Let's put these gloves on to protect your hands. That's right." Colin innocently co-operated, a lamb to the slaughter. He even allowed them to put his hands behind his back and clip the mittens together before he suddenly realised what was happening to him. He shouted out.

"Hey, fellows! What are you doing?"

"We said it was a surprise," said James. That for the time being was the last Colin said for Jon took advantage of his open mouth to slip in a penis gag which he fastened at the back of his head. Finally he placed a pair of headphones over his ears. Colin was totally isolated.

James unzipped the shorts and they fell to floor. Colin stepped out of them. James strapped a pair of leather anklets onto him and connected them with a heavy chain.

"Okay," said James, "we'll let him sit it out for a couple of minutes. Keep him guessing." He gave Colin's balls a good feel first. His cock was already hard.

"I never realised he was so horny," said Jon.

"What they call a dark horse. I think we got ourselves quite a catch here." They were waiting for Colin's cock to go limp and then Jon clamped a cock ring over his cock and balls. He immediately went hard and stayed hard. James lifted him to stand. He unclipped Colin's mittens, brought his arms round to the front and clipped his wrists onto a chain on a pulley system and hauled them into the air until his body was stretched. Jon shackled the ankle chain onto a D-ring set in the floor, then took a spray bottle and sprayed Colin with body oil back and front. It was scented and so Colin had some sensory connection with the outside world. James and Jon massaged in the oil. It made Colin's nipples particularly sensitive and he squirmed, in so far as his bonds would allow, when he felt them being caressed and sucked. He tried to moan and groan in ecstasy, but the gag prevented him.

The massage continued now with profuse precum dribbling over his glans and dripping onto the floor. James and Jon took turns scooping it up on their courting fingers and savouring it on the tip of their tongues. Colin's body writhed, but neither boy knew whether it was in pain or in pleasure, and neither of them cared. It was time for the first edging. Jon massaged Colin's balls with oiled hands while James attended to his throbbing dick. They weren't used to handling low hangers and so they had to look for other signs that he was about to come and then they stopped. Colin wanted to cry out, cry out to them that they should make him come, but besides being mute he had to deal with the reality of his not being in charge of his own body.

It was now time to deal with Colin's butt. James sprayed some more lube across it and into his crevice. Jon rubbed it in and fingered his hole until he had two fingers in up to the knuckles. James went further and found his prostate. Colin could not stop his body wriggling around in ecstasy and his precum was making quite a little puddle on the floor. Jon took his cock into his mouth. He could almost drink the precum, there was so much. The quantity was being helped by James who had taken a butt plug, one of the chunkier ones, rolled a rubber over it and was gently, but firmly pressing it through Colin's sphincter. 'This is much better than any sex I've had with a chick,' Colin was thinking, but unable to say so because of the gag in his mouth. His tongue was continually toying with its penis shape. The hole through it made breathing easier, but there was nothing he could do to stem the flow of saliva, some of which he could swallow while most dribbled over his chin, dripped down his body and onto the floor to join the pool of precum. Under the former circumstances it would have been caught up in his pubic hair, dried and left the hairs matted and stuck together.

Colin had to accept what was happening to him. If he had been able to speak, he would have pleaded with James to get on with pushing the butt plug home, but once the exquisite feeling from his prostate had subsided, he had to exercise patience while James worked slowly, slowly inserting the plug and withdrawing it until it was eventually in up to the hilt. He was about to come again when he felt whoever was sucking him stop. Oh, the frustration. The butt plug was withdrawn, only to be replaced with the real thing. Over the weekend he had experience both of his hosts fucking him to the extent that he knew this was Jon. He felt Jon orgasm inside his arse. Then it was James's turn. He couldn't feel whether they were using condoms or not. He enjoyed the thrusts and tried to back against them so that they'd go in deeper. While he was enjoying the second fuck, the other husband was rolling something like a small wheel over his body, a pizza cutter, but with spikes instead of a cutting edge. He had never heard of a Wartenberg pinwheel. When it was rolled up his hard cock, over the glans and down the underside, then across his scrotum, he didn't know whether he was in heaven or hell. He desperately wanted to come, but his tormentors were expert in the art of edging and knew so well the signs of an impending orgasm that they would stop at the last minute before he could shoot his load.

Colin had lost all sense of time. He might have been there a quarter of an hour; he could have been there an hour, or two even. Distracted by what was happening with the pinwheel, he was no longer paying attention to the cock inside his butt. The intensity built and Colin was experiencing his first prostatic orgasm. Liquid was pouring out of his cock, which he assumed was precum, but was in fact semen. Now that he had come, Jon took hold of his shaft and jerked it. Colin was at that point where his cock, particularly the glans, was at its most sensitive. It hurt like hell, but Jon was relentless until Colin shot a second load and he definitely knew that this time it was spunk he was shooting.

As a finale Jon had taken a cat o'nine tails, James a riding crop and they were teasing Colin, not enough to hurt, sufficiently to inflict mild discomfort. When Colin's cock eventually softened, it was the cue that the scene was over. The husbands took off the headphones, the gag, the blindfold. Colin blinked and looked around.

"Wow! That was quite something."

"Did we hurt you," asked Jon.

"Not really. Not even with the whips. The second time I came off was probably the most painful bit."

"Would you do it again?" said James.

"Yes… yes, I think so."

"So you enjoyed it?" said Jon.

"Yes. In fact, in the middle of it I thought this is better than anything I've ever done with a woman." Jon unstrapped the anklets; James unhooked the mittens and took them off.

"You'd better get yourself into the shower and clean yourself up. We'll clear up here and then we'll have an easy day of it."

"So that we're fit for work tomorrow."

After his ablutions Colin appeared naked in the kitchen. Holly came up and greeted him, wagging her tail and putting her cold, wet nose on his scrotum, which made him jump. James and Jon were there preparing lunch dressed just in tee shirt and sandals. On the back was printed 'His' and 'His', on the front 'My husband is gay'.

"You'd better put this on, Colin," said James, handing him a clean tee shirt. He didn't notice that it had 'Theirs' printed on the back. He just saw a red rose open in full bloom among a bunch of cherries, and didn't suspect any significance. "We're taking lunch out on the lawn."

"Cold meat salad okay?" said Jon.

"That's Jon's Chef's Special," said James with a grin, "but I'll make a cook out of him yet. Hopefully before the children come along."

"You're planning to have children, then?"

"Isn't that what marriage is all about?" asked Jon.

"Otherwise we could have remained civil partners," said James.

"We're already in touch with an agency and they have found a surrogate mother who's willing to carry two babies for us."

"For the first one we have mingled our sperm so that it will be pot luck as to who the father is. Then for the second one the one who did not father the first one will father the second one."

"That way," said Jon, "they will at least be half-brothers genetically."

"Half-brothers?" queried Colin. "How can you be so certain? Isn't that illegal?"

"It's marvellous what modern science can do," said James.

"And a lot of money. Anyway, we didn't think it was proper for a daughter to be brought up by two men. A girl needs her mother." Colin, come and help us lay the table in the garden."

The two husbands and their guest had a lazy afternoon. After lunch they lay on the swinging sunbed, dozing and smooching, but no serious sex. They had already spent a strenuous morning and they wanted Colin to have a last night to remember. They realised that time was going on when they began to feel chilly for the sun was going down.

"What time is the pizza boy due," asked James.

"I ordered for half past seven." The grandfather clock in the hall was just striking seven.

"Is it our usual boy?"

"Think so. He's the only one that knows his way around out here." James put the oven on to warm.

It couldn't have been much closer to half past seven when Holly barked to announce the arrival of the pizza. The pizza boy parked his motor scooter and the doorbell rang. James let him in. He took the pizzas and put them into the oven.

"How much do we owe you, Charlie?" asked Jon. Charlie told him. "How many more deliveries have you got tonight?"

"You're the last one. Then I'm off home."

"Would you like to earn yourself an extra big tip? Oh, this is Colin by the way. He's spending the weekend with us."

"Hi, Charlie."

"Yeah, okay. Fifty quid the three of you. With condoms." The husbands spread a plastic sheet over the settee and covered it with a large bed sheet. Charlie took his 'Pizza Box' tabard off and his tee shirt came with it. His pecs and abs were tight. His washed out 501s clung tightly to his lower body, showing off his butt and his package. Colin couldn't take his eyes off him, and then… he popped a boner. His shorts were so short that there was nowhere to hide.

"So much for our straight guest," Jon whispered to James.

"Colin, I think you'd better go first," said James. Charlie slipped his trainers off without undoing the laces, then his jeans and finally his tighty-whities. Colin was a tad surprised to see he had pubic hair. He had no tattoo, either. Charlie took up the position on the sofa, James lubed his butt and Jon rolled the condom over Colin's dripping, rampant cock. He found it easy to penetrate Charlie.

James finished the job off, Charlie wiped himself with tissues, got dressed and Jon gave him the money for the pizza and a brand new crisp fifty pound note in addition. Charlie held it up to the light to look for the watermark and the metal trip.

"Careful," said Jon. "The ink's still wet." Satisfied he gave them a cheeky grin, said 'See ya later' and he was off out of the house and on his moped on his way home.

"He's one of your regulars, I gather," said Colin.

"I suppose we order pizza once a month when we can't be bothered to cook," said James.

"Actually, James bakes a better pizza, but I can have his butt any time I want."

"If he's one of your regulars, why aren't his pubes shaven off and why hasn't got the tattoo?"

"He's not gay."

"Not gay?" repeated Colin in disbelief.

"No," said Jon. "He says he's straight and only does 'gay for pay'."

"Despite that," said James, "he's a bloody good shag and worth twenty quid a throw."

"So you got a reduction for quantity tonight?"

"He has to be a bit careful. Here he probably earnt more than he does for his whole shift."

"Basic rate without tips," interrupted James.

"His mother goes through his pockets and stuff and sometimes he has to explain why he's got so much money."

"Why does he do it?"

"He doesn't want a student loan hanging round his neck when he graduates."

"What does he want to do at university?"

"Business studies."

The boys ate their pizza, went into the sitting room, sat together on the settee watching a porno of Ralph Woods at Bel Ami. They behaved and confined themselves to smooching, though Colin did think at one moment he was going to come off in his shorts.

Early to bed that night for it was back to work in the morning. Jon took Holly out for a short walk while James made the cocoa.

Tuesday morning

James, Jon and Colin were rudely awoken by the alarm clock. Colin vaguely remembered waking up in the middle of the night and feeling his butt being pounded, but he just went back to sleep. His arse crack was a bit sticky, but it didn't matter as he was about to take a shower, which he did in his own room. The bed and bedding had mysteriously re-appeared. His suitcase lay on the bed, packed and with the lid open. Everything was there… nearly everything was there except… his boxer shorts. They had been replaced by two three-packs of tighty whities, a brand called 2(X)1st. How did you pronounce that? He went into the shower. It was so refreshing. He felt on top of the world. He dried himself off and it wasn't until he went to shave that he noticed in the mirror that his neck was covered with love bites, both sides. He shaved in the vain hope that he could shave them away. He went down to the kitchen where James and Jon were preparing breakfast.

"Hey, guys, look at this. I can't go to work like this. Everyone will take the piss out of me." James put his thumb in his mouth and hung his head in shame. Jon said

"Sorry, Colin. It's just that you made us so passionate we couldn't help ourselves. You arouse people like us and sometimes we can't control our urges."

"What am I going to do?"

"We'll lend you a polo neck shirt. That'll cover them up. And we've got a lotion that'll make disappear more quickly." (They hadn't, it won't, but this was all part of their wicked plot.) "Come upstairs with me."

In the bathroom Jon produced a bottle of Obsession for Men. He avoided showing Colin the label. It contained certain pheromones that attracted males.

"This'll sting a bit. It's an astringent and makes the blood vessels decrease." It did sting. Jon handed him a white cotton shirt, but it had a crew neck rather than a roll neck and so hid nothing more than an ordinary shirt with a collar would have done. Still, Colin showed himself content. The astringent smelt rather strong.

The boys had breakfast. Then Jon got his car out, James packed the dishwasher and Holly permitted Colin to take her walkies. She had quite taken to Colin. Meanwhile Marmaduke the Marmalade Cat was lowering in the garden ready to pounce upon any unfortunate bird who strayed too close. Colin put his case into the boot. He and James climbed into the car and off they drove to the office.

"Thank goodness it's a short week," said Jon. "I'm knackered already."

"Did you enjoy your stay, Colin?"

"Yes, I think so… yes, I did. Ask me tomorrow when I've had a chance to sort my brain out." Otherwise it was quiet in the car. Jon dropped Colin in the executive car park. He put his bag into the boot of his own car and drove it to the staff car park. Jon parked next to him.

James and Jon expected to see Colin by the water cooler. However, there was no sign of him and the word on the street was that he had fallen asleep at his desk. But they did meet him there at lunchtime. He said he would work through his lunch hour and go home early.

"Do you know what, guys?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "I feel quite comfortable in my skin as a gay." James and Jon gave each other a knowing look. "But the other thing that's happened. I've already had two blokes come on to me this morning… and one, the apprentice from the packing department, I must admit I rather fancy." That was it. Jon couldn't suppress it any longer and he burst out in a snigger.

"Why are you laughing?"

"You mean the black kid?" said James.

"That's right. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," said Jon.

"You'd better go off and fiddle your flexitime," said James.

"See you tomorrow".

"I gather you two boys gave him rather a good time over the weekend," said Miss Peggitty, Colin's PA.


Mid-morning, and Colin was back to normal and at the water cooler. Even the love bites were now at their yellow stage.

"Have a look at these, Colin." Jon took out his smartphone and ran through a series of photographs of the weekend.

"We thought you'd better see them before they appear in the house magazine."

"I didn't see you take those."

"Taken by the security cameras."

"Look at this," said Jon. He tapped the screen. "There's Holly fast asleep… in real time."

"On the settee," grumbled James. "She's not allowed on there."

"Do you know what?" said Colin. "I'm on a date for the weekend."

"Go on," said James. "Tell us."


"Wot?" said Jon. "Not Danny the black kid from the packing department."

"The very same."

"You'll have a great time with him," said James. "We can promise you that."

"And not a few sticky moments too," said Jon. "Make sure the washing machine is in good working order." They grinned.

"Hope you like liquorice sticks," giggled James.

"Wot? You've al…"

"Yeah," said Jon. "He's one of ours."

"We trained him."

"You know our mission. To bring out the homosexuality in those that didn't know they had it in them."

"Like we did with you.

"By the way, Colin," said Jon. "We've had some great news as well. We're going to be daddies."

"Twins," said James.

"And boys, one's mine and one's James's."

"Congratulations. Time for a group hug.

"You're not really going to put those pics in the house magazine, are you?… Are you!?!"

"Wind up." said James.

Or was it?

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1 Wingman – decoy at a dance, say, who takes the ugly partner so that his mate can have the good looking one.

2 Apologies at this point for the above conversation was 'lifted' from a video with unknown script writer.

3 Based on a Helix video about Mitch & Andy.

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