Gran's House
by Kit
Chapter 8
The first thing I did when I got home was to unload my bags, and then l looked for something to eat. Fortunately, it seemed that Aunt Anne, perhaps via Mrs T, had made sure that there was a reasonable supply of food in the kitchen. In fact, I could probably have lived for a few weeks on the contents of the fridge, the freezer and various cupboards.
After lunch, the prospect of unpacking everything all at once was a little daunting, so I just unpacked my computers. By that time, it was almost three o'clock, and I decided it would be a good time to talk with my brothers.
"You're on your laptop," Connor commented as soon as the connection opened.
"Yes, it was one of the first things I unpacked when I arrived home."
"Did you drive safe?" Liam asked.
"Of course I did. I wouldn't dare disobey your orders," I said with mock seriousness.
"What about obeying my orders?" the older boy teased.
"Nah, I'm not scared of you, so I don't need to obey you."
"You're not really scared of me, are you?" the ever-literal Liam asked.
"Not really," I said. "Well, maybe only a little bit."
"You're silly," the little boy said, then in a rapid change of topic he added, "What are you doing today?"
"After a long drive I like to relax, and I need to get cleaned up before going to have a meal with Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey," I replied, realising that I'd need to shower before going to see my godparents. "What are you two going to do?"
"We can't go to the park cos it's raining," the older boy said sadly.
"It's raining here, too," I commented. "But it's not raining very hard, so if I had more time, I'd probably go for a run."
"You'd really run in the rain?" Liam asked.
"Yes, summer rain can be refreshing when you're running on a warm day."
"You're weird!" Connor said.
"We're having a special teatime today with special cake," the younger boy announced.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"It's Susie's birthday," he replied.
"Well, say happy birthday from me," I said, then realised that she wouldn't know who I was and that I had no idea if a three-year-old would really understand what a birthday was.
The conversation went on for a few more minutes and ended with a reminder from Liam that I'd promised to send them photos of their mother as a girl and of myself when I was growing up.
On arriving at my godparents' house, I received the usual warm welcome from both of them and the usual interrogation from Aunt Anne. She wanted to know how my exams had gone, when I would get my results, and when the graduation ceremony would be. Of course, the biggest topic of all was my brothers.
When I declined their offer of pre-dinner drinks and limited myself to just one glass of wine with the meal, my excuse was that I was tired and wanted to be able to drive home and spend the night in my own bed. I explained that I hadn't got much sleep the previous night, though of course I didn't say why, and the long drive home from university had also been tiring. I didn't mention that at the back of my mind was the plea from Liam that I not drink too much and the promise that I'd made to him about that.
Quite early on in the evening, Aunt Anne asked when she could speak directly with my brothers. With various degrees of subtlety, or lack thereof, she'd been raising the same question ever since I'd first spoken with the boys. Usually, I'd dealt with it by pointing out that it had only been a short time since their mother had died and that they were still getting to know their newly discovered brother. Thus, it wouldn't be a good idea to overwhelm vulnerable kids with new people.
What I hadn't said to her was that she had a very forceful personality and a tendency to take charge, and some people could find that intimidating. Sometimes those traits could hide her many good characteristics, such as her warmth, kindness and the ability to see the best in everyone. Because she'd been in my life ever since I was a baby, I'd grown accustomed to her and had the ability to let her forceful behaviour simply wash over me.
Sometimes, it was helpful to let her take charge, as she'd done after Gran died. Sometimes I would listen to her instruction, nod and smile, and then just go my own way. However, I didn't know if my brothers would be ready to cope with it yet. Also, what I didn't consciously acknowledge was that maybe I wasn't ready to share my brothers. That particular evening after dinner, she brushed aside all my previous excuses.
"Paul," she said, "I understand that Liam and Connor are still recovering from Mary's death, and they've had to get used to living in a new home with new people. However, it's been six months now since she died. I also understand that they're still getting to know a brother they never knew existed, but they've had about three months to do that."
She looked me directly in the eyes and continued.
"Although we're not their blood relatives, we knew their mother when she was growing up. And you often said that we've been like parents to you. Don't you think that it's about time that they should be able to talk with me and Geoffrey?"
There she was, consciously or not, raising the fact that I was emotionally indebted to them and thereby making me feel guilty for avoiding putting them in contact with my brothers. Uncle Geoffrey probably realised what she was doing because he looked a little embarrassed as he silently gazed into his glass of wine. However, there were still some practical matters that should be raised.
"You know that it's not really up to me," I pointed out. "Although I'm their brother, Social Services and their foster carers have complete control of who can contact them. Isn't that right, Uncle Geoffrey?"
"Correct," he replied, slowly nodding his head.
"Before I could talk directly with my brothers, I had to speak to their social worker. I guess it was a sort of informal interview," I said and shrugged my shoulders. "Once she was satisfied that the boys wanted to chat with me, at first it was only through her phone, and she monitored what we said. Even after that, our chats were monitored by their foster carers until they were confident that the boys could deal with it."
"Are you trying to say that a professional person like myself, a longstanding member of our church, would have to go through all that vetting process?" she said indignantly.
"Of course you will," Uncle Geoffrey said, coming to my rescue. "As Paul explained to us in the past, it's not just the standard safety check that they need to make but also whether the boys are emotionally able to deal with things.
"And you must admit, dear," he continued, "that your wonderful ability to take charge and get things done can sometimes be a bit, erm, intimidating."
My godmother's reaction to that was simply to say 'Pish', but I was sure that there would have been a much stronger response if I'd said those words.
"I'll tell you what," I said in a placatory tone, "in the next couple of days I'll ask Rose about it. Then if it's okay with her, I'll ask the boys if they're ready to chat with you."
"Fine," she said a little grumpily, "but it all seems like an unnecessary fuss."
In order to change the topic of conversation to something less contentious, I mentioned that I was considering moving into the master bedroom sometime in the next couple of weeks.
"Eventually!" Aunt Anne exclaimed. "It's such a lovely room, and it's a waste not to use it. When do you want us to come round to help?"
"Erm, there's no hurry," I said. "The only thing I need help with is the bed."
"How about next Saturday afternoon?" she said, looking at her husband, who nodded his agreement and gave the appearance of a man resigned to his fate.
"Yes, thanks," I said. "That'll be great."
When I phoned Rose and said that Aunt Anne wanted to speak with my brothers, she said that she'd like to talk with my godmother directly, so I gave Aunt Anne's phone number to her. It was a great relief to know that they would resolve the situation without me.
While I'd been studying and doing exams, I' d imagined that my first week home would be relaxed and even lazy, but it turned out to be very busy. On the morning after dinner with my godparents, I woke up feeling refreshed, and immediately after breakfast, I made up my 'to do' list. Apart from finishing unpacking, I had to scan selected photographs of my mother.
Also, I had to look through Gran's huge collection of my boyhood photos and select some for my brothers to see. Apart from a few older printed photos, there were several hundred that I'd backed up from the computer in the office and from Gran's old laptop. Besides all that, at some stage, preferably before Saturday, I'd need to move my clothes and personal things into the master bedroom.
Ever since I was a child, I'd always enjoyed physical activity, especially running, cycling, and swimming. However, for the previous few weeks I'd been too busy to do much exercise apart from a couple of runs per week. Therefore, the first thing I did after finishing unpacking was to check my bike. As it had been left unused in the shed since Easter, it wasn't surprising to find that it needed some maintenance.
Over the next few days, I worked through the to-do list, usually taking morning breaks for a run and afternoon breaks to go cycling. Fortunately, there were some good nearby places, both countryside and suburban, for such activities. Many of the cycle routes had been ones that I'd often ridden with my boyhood best friend, Philip, and visiting them brought back bittersweet memories.
During the cycle rides, the enjoyment of the sights and the physical activity distracted me from any deep thoughts. However, after a ride, I sometimes became a little melancholy. Sitting alone in the house, it seemed that I'd lost many of the people close to me: Philip, Grandad, Gran, Mai Li, and most recently, Stephane.
Several times during the week, I thought about Stephane and especially about what he'd said about me seeming to be cold and uncaring. I also wished that my farewell words hadn't been so clumsy and embarrassing. However, that was all in the past and couldn't be redone. It was time to accept that he'd been correct about 'cherry blossoms', and it was time for me to file away my memories of him, along with the memories of other 'lost ones'.
When Mrs T arrived on Friday morning, I told her that I was going to be staying at home full-time for the foreseeable future, and I asked if she was willing and able to come in for an extra half day per week. She said that with a little rearranging of her schedule, she could also do Monday afternoons. I thanked her profusely and suggested that we should have a cup of tea to celebrate the new arrangement.
On Friday afternoon, I received an email from Dr Baker, who'd been the tutor for my personal project. He asked if I'd be at the university when the exam results were published, and if so, he'd like me to arrange to see him. The email was a surprise, but I wasn't concerned because nothing could affect my grades after the results were out. We arranged to meet in his office at two o'clock on Tuesday afternoon. He gave no clue as to why he wanted to see me.
As arranged, my godparents came round on Saturday and helped me to complete my bedroom move. Aunt Anne was at least as excited as I was about my upcoming visit to my brothers, and she demanded that I go round to see her and give her a full report when I got back. However, I pointed out that it would be a long and tiring day, and I didn't know when I'd get back. So we compromised by arranging that I should phone her as soon as I returned.
Before she left, Aunt Anne asked what I'd be taking as a gift for David and Sarah. At first, I wondered why she thought I should take a gift, then she reminded me of what I'd been taught by Gran: it was polite to take a gift for your host, especially on a first visit. Usually it might be something simple like wine, or flowers, or special teas, or their favourite treats. However, I didn't know Sarah and David well enough to know if they drank wine or what flowers or treats they might like.
At such short notice, I didn't have much time to think of a gift and buy it. Indeed, I had barely enough time to get to the nearest gift shop before they closed. Some reasonable-quality bamboo chopping boards caught my attention, but most had tacky inscriptions such as 'Home Sweet Home'. However, I managed to find one without an inscription and get it gift-wrapped.
I spoke with my brothers for at least a few minutes almost every evening that week. By Friday, they'd received the photos I'd selected for them, and they had lots of questions about them. However, I suggested that it would be better to wait until my visit, when we could go through the photos together.
On the morning of the visit, apart from the slight nervousness at meeting my brothers in person for the first time, my mind was also occupied with deciding what to wear. The day was quite warm and mostly sunny, so I chose my dark blue summer trousers and a pale blue shirt. I also put a jacket on the back seat of the car, in case it became cool later in the day.
For a drive expected to be around thirty-five minutes, I would normally have taken the Merc so that it would get a nice run. However, as I was going somewhere I'd never been to before and didn't know the roads, I decided to use the Golf. Also, I didn't know how large the parking area might be, so I thought the smaller car might be preferable.
Because the traffic was light, I arrived in their neighbourhood slightly earlier than expected, and I saw that the park mentioned by Connor was actually across the road at the end of the street. For some reason, I'd imagined that the foster home would be an old, detached building. However, it turned out to be an apparently ordinary postwar semi-detached house. It was separated from the street by a low red brick wall, behind which was a taller privet hedge.
As I drove through the gateway, I saw a black Honda Civic parked further up the driveway by the side of the house, and in front of the house a Ford minibus was already parked. However, it was apparent that most of the small front garden had been converted into a parking area, and there was plenty of space for my car. My brothers were standing side by side just outside the front door.
Although I was a little earlier than expected, I had the impression they'd been waiting there for some time. The older boy was wearing dark blue shorts and a lighter blue T-shirt. Apart from a lack of any logo or numbering, it could have been a football uniform. His little brother was wearing similar shorts with a more formal white button-up, short-sleeved shirt. As soon as they saw my car, they waved and smiled but stayed where they were.
Liam's face and body language showed a mix of happiness and excitement while I was parking, but as I got out of the car, he reached out nervously to grasp Connor's hand. As it happened, I was also feeling that same mix of emotions. Although his younger brother was openly showing his feelings, Connor's emotions were less obvious, though I thought that I detected a hint of apprehension.
"Hello, brothers!" I greeted them.
For a couple of seconds I stood there, wondering what to do next. These were my brothers, and we'd spoken often, but this was the first time we'd met in person. Offering a handshake was obviously too formal, especially as they were children. Offering a fist bump somehow seemed embarrassing, and in any case they were standing at such a distance that walking toward them with a clenched fist didn't seem like a good idea.
Before the situation became too uncomfortable, Liam let go of his brother's hand, ran toward me, wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed tightly. The left side of his head was pressed tightly into my abdomen. Feeling a sudden decrease in tension, I laughed.
"If you're not careful, you'll squeeze me in two!"
His grip relaxed only slightly as he looked up at me with a huge grin on his face. Up close and in person, the complex colour of his eyes was even more amazing.
"You're taller than I thought," he said.
"And you're stronger than I thought," I responded.
He relaxed his grip completely, looking a little sheepish. Without thinking, I bent down, picked him up and hugged him tightly to my chest. Normally, hugging made me feel a little uncomfortable, but with Liam it just felt natural. Only after I'd done it did I wonder if his carers might consider that to be 'inappropriate', especially for a first meeting.
"So how do you like being squeezed so hard?" I joked.
His only response was to put his arms around my neck and his head on my shoulder, and at that moment, the intellectual knowledge that he was my brother became an emotional certainty. Apparently, some animals can recognise their own family by smell. However, the only thing that I could consciously detect was a faint smell of apple, presumably from the shampoo that he'd used. Perhaps unconsciously I detected something like a pheromone. Whatever the case, at a deep level I recognised him as family.
From Connor's expression I got the impression that he didn't approve of my interaction with the younger boy. However, it couldn't be undone, and it seemed that my only option was to try to get Connor to feel better about it. I carried Liam over to his brother and set him down. Bending to keep my head level with the older boy's, I smiled and spoke gently.
"Do you want a hug, too?" I asked as I opened my arms.
At first he showed surprise at my question, then he seemed reluctant, but that turned into indecision. So that he wouldn't feel pressured, I stood up and put my arms down by my sides.
"It's okay if you don't want a hug," I said, "but there's always one waiting for you if you change your mind. And you don't need to worry about being picked up because I don't think I'd be strong enough to do that."
His look of indecision turned into a shy smile, and he reached out and put his arms around me, so I bent down again to hold him. As he put his arms around my neck, I could feel the tension leave his body, and his tentative hug became more confident. As with Liam, I had a deep feeling of family belonging, and when Connor pushed his nose into the base of my neck, I wondered if he, too, might be affected by some family pheromone.
"Let's go inside," Liam suggested enthusiastically, tugging on my shirt sleeve.
As I stood up, my peripheral vision detected movement, and I automatically looked to see the source. The curtain on the dormer window projecting from the roof moved briefly, and just before it closed completely, I saw a flash of red. All of that happened in the space of just a second or two, but Liam was already growing impatient, and, still holding my shirt sleeve, he pulled me toward the door.
As soon as we got inside, he yelled out, "Paul's here! He's here now!"
The obvious pride and enthusiasm in his voice took away the slight embarrassment I felt at his loud public announcement. He pulled me further inside, and through an open doorway on my right I caught a glimpse of the office that I'd seen during our video chats. David, wiping his hands on a small towel, emerged from a doorway just a little further down the corridor. He was wearing a maroon bib apron over a grey shirt and black trousers.
"This is Paul," Liam announced, still holding onto my sleeve.
"Yes, I know." David smiled and shook his head before adding, "I've seen him before, you know."
"Oh, yeah," the little boy responded with no hint of embarrassment. "Well, he's here now."
The older boy, who'd closely followed us inside, moved next to his little brother, looked at me, grinned and rolled his eyes.
"Hi, Paul. Welcome." David greeted me. "How was the journey?"
"Good, thanks. There were no problems at all."
"I told him to drive safe," Liam said, as if taking credit for my safe arrival.
"Come through to the kitchen and meet Sarah and Susie," David said, going back through the doorway.
The kitchen was bigger than I'd expected, and I guessed that it had been extended partway into the room that was now the office. The pale yellow walls and the large windows made it seem very light and airy, so that the outside summer sunshine appeared to have been brought indoors. There was a big rectangular varnished pine table in the middle of the room.
Sarah was crouched down by the sink and was wiping the hands of a toddler. Under an apron similar to David's, she wore a black skirt and white blouse patterned with small red roses. Her shoulder-length, straight black hair was held back by butterfly clips over her ears.
Susie was wearing a blue romper suit with narrow white stripes, and her attention having been drawn to the doorway by all the activity, she looked directly at me as I entered the room. With a very serious expression, she studied this new person in her home until Sarah spoke.
"Hi, Paul," she said.
Having been given that cue, Susie smiled and waved the hand that wasn't being wiped.
"I Paw," she said.
The toddler, with her dark hair, pale skin, hazel eyes, and round face, looked like a miniature version of the woman, and it was obvious to me that they were mother and daughter.
"Lunch will be ready in about fifteen minutes," Sarah said. "Would you like a glass of water or juice to keep you going until then?"
"No, thanks, I'm fine. The boys told me how wonderful Sunday lunch was here, but they never mentioned the delicious aromas. Is that lamb I detect?"
"Yes, it's just resting." David said, pointing in the direction of a big plate on which there was something covered in foil.
At that point, I remembered that I'd left their gift in the car, and with great embarrassment, I excused myself so that I could retrieve it. My brothers insisted on staying close to my side all the way to the car and back. When I returned to the kitchen, Sarah was still busy with her daughter, so I held the gift out to David.
"Here's a little gift to thank you for inviting me," I said. "I'm sorry, but I didn't know what you'd like, so I just got something that I hope you'd find useful."
"You didn't need to bring anything," David said as he removed the gift wrap and saw what it was. "And yes, it will be very useful. Thank you."
His thanks were echoed by his wife, who'd just stood up after finishing wiping the toddler's fingers.
"Now, boys, why don't you show Paul around while Sarah and I finish getting lunch ready?" David said, addressing my brothers.
Both boys nodded their agreement, and Liam grabbed my sleeve again, gently leading me out of the kitchen and across the hallway to the large living room. A dado rail divided the light green upper walls from the darker green lower walls, and the room was furnished with two sofas, two armchairs, a couple of beanbag chairs, and a couple of small, low tables. There was also a reasonably large wall-mounted TV.
A door from the living room led to a much smaller room where there was a collection of video games as well as board games. From the lack of any reverberation when we spoke in the room, I guessed that it was at least partially soundproofed. At the rear of the ground floor was a downstairs toilet and a door out to the garden.
From what I could see, the house was larger than an average semi-detached and appeared to have been considerably remodelled. At the far end of the living room was a staircase, under which were shelves with lots of books. Upstairs, there was a hallway with five doors, one of which, Liam informed me, was David and Sarah's room, and next to that was the 'little room for Baby Susie'.
After quickly pointing out Katie's room and the bathroom, they dragged me into their bedroom. Of course, I already knew what that looked like, but there'd been a few details, such as a large laundry basket and beanbag chair, that I hadn't noticed during our video chats.
"I see that Snuggles and Ted are still on their toy box. Don't you ever let them share your comfy beds?" I teased gently.
"We're not babies," the older boy said disdainfully.
"Sometimes I have Snuggles on my bed cos they won't let me cuddle in Connor's bed. But sometimes we do anyway," Liam whispered as he moved even closer to me.
"Liam!" the older boy hissed, clearly annoyed. "That's a brother secret!"
"But Paul's our brother, too, so he'll keep brother secrets," the little boy said, obviously offended by his brother's scolding. Looking at me for confirmation, he added, "Won't you, Paul?"
"Of course I will."
Connor still seemed a little upset, and having noticed that the pale blue walls were bare, I decided to change the subject.
"I thought you might have put some posters on the wall," I commented.
"David and Sarah said we could if we stuck them with stuff that doesn't damage walls," Connor said, "but we don't have any posters, and it prob'ly isn't worth it."
"And I like clean walls," his little brother chimed in.
"Why isn't it worth it?" I asked.
"Well, maybe we won't be here for long," Connor said and shrugged. "Mike said foster kids can get moved around. This is his third place, and it's Katie's second place."
It seemed that every topic of conversation I tried to start was ending up with an unhappy Connor, so I tried another tack, deliberately trying to make myself seem silly in the hope that it would cheer them up. Having already noticed that the top bunk had a plain dark blue duvet cover and the bottom bunk had a lighter blue colour with little monkeys on it, I asked which of them had the top bunk.
Connor rolled his eyes and was opening his mouth, probably about to make some sarcastic comment, when he suddenly stopped and smiled.
"You're just teasing us, aren't you?" he said accusingly.
"Oh no! You've seen through my evil little plot!" I said, raising my hands and speaking in a funny voice.
Connor sighed dramatically and looked to the heavens, possibly wondering how he'd got such a crazy brother. His little brother laughed and then accused me of being 'silly'. Feeling hungry, I looked at my watch and suggested we should go down for lunch.
"Don't you want to see the pictures of Mum and us when we were little?" Liam asked. "They're in a box in the toy box."
"I'd love to see them," I said, "but we won't have time before lunch."
As we left the room, a thought occurred to me.
"Where's Mike's room?" I asked.
"In the roof," Liam said dismissively.
"Up those stairs," his brother said, pointing to a small stairway at the end of the hall.
Back down in the living room, we found Katie, who was wearing what appeared to be a green version of the clothes worn by Connor. She was playing with Susie and some wooden blocks. As fast as the older girl tried to stack the blocks, the toddler would knock them down with great delight.
"Ah, there you are," Sarah said as she emerged from the kitchen. "Katie, please go and get Mike and tell him lunch is ready. And wash your hands before coming to the table."
With that, she picked up her daughter and carried her into the kitchen as Katie went upstairs. Presuming that the final command applied to all three of us brothers, we all went to the downstairs toilet to wash our hands. It was a tight squeeze, but it was fun. By the time we'd finished and got to the kitchen, Katie had returned with Mike, who was asking David if he and Katie could go to the park after lunch.
That was my first opportunity to see Mike, whose most obvious feature was the brightest red hair that I'd ever seen. It was quite short on top and even shorter at the back and sides, and just under the hairline on the left side of his forehead was a noticeable scar. There was a dusting of freckles on his cheeks and on his button nose. His eyes were such a pale blue that they could almost be mistaken as being grey.
As David had indicated, although he was a couple of years older than Connor, he was only about an inch taller. He was also quite thin and probably weighed considerably less than my sturdily built brother. Certainly, if there was ever a real fight between them, I'd bet on Connor to win. Mike was wearing dark jeans and a rugby-style long-sleeved shirt with wide green and white horizontal stripes.
Directed by Sarah, I sat on one side of the table with my brothers, with Liam being between me and Connor. Mike sat opposite me on the other side of the table, and next to him was Katie. After putting food on the table, David sat at the end nearest to me, and Sarah sat at the other, next to Susie, who was in a tall wooden chair.
"Now you'll see that we have great Sunday lunches here," Connor said, looking at me.
Mike glared at him and muttered something to Katie. As soon as Susie had been given a small plastic plate with the food already chopped into small pieces, she began to feed herself. The rest of us waited for David's invitation to 'get tucked in to the grub'.
Feeling quite hungry, I immediately got 'tucked in'. The lamb was perfectly cooked and served with gravy, roast potatoes, carrots and broccoli. In the centre of the table was a small bowl of freshly made mint sauce for those of us who wanted it. Apart from Sarah saying encouraging words to Susie and asking her what she wanted to eat next, for a few minutes there was very little conversation as we concentrated on eating.
"This is the best Sunday lunch I've had in a very long time," I told my hosts, "and these roast potatoes are the only ones I've ever had that are as good as my gran's."
My hosts acknowledged my compliment with beaming smiles. Both my brothers gave me a look that communicated 'I told you so'. Mike gave me a dirty look, and Katie didn't show any indication that she'd heard me.
"But you've not even had dessert yet," Sarah said.
When everyone had finished the main course, Sarah and David started clearing the plates, and I gave them a hand. Then we had a delicious homemade strawberry cheesecake, and within minutes not a crumb of it remained. Afterward, David announced that it was Mike and Katie's turn to clear the table and load the dishwasher. I was mildly surprised when Mike complied without any protest and apparently without any reluctance.
Sarah released the straps holding Susie onto her chair and started cleaning her daughter's food-covered face and hands. The little girl appeared to be enjoying the process and occasionally giggled when her mother wiped a ticklish spot. David asked if I'd like some tea or coffee, and I chose coffee.
"Please, can you give me a few minutes to chat with Sarah and David?" I asked my brothers.
"Awww," Connor complained. "I thought you came to see me and Liam."
"Yeah," said a frowning Liam in support of his brother.
"It will only be a few minutes while I have a coffee, and then I promise that you'll have my full attention for the rest of the afternoon."
When all the children apart from Susie had left the room, David, who'd started making coffee, looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"First, thank you both for such a great meal," I said, "and second, I want to say how impressed I am with the way you've turned a collection of different children into a family group."
"It's good of you to say that. Rose said that you had a silver tongue," Sarah said, blushing a little. She paused and smiled, then continued, "And I get the feeling that there's a 'third' item to come."
"Actually, a 'third' and a 'fourth'," I said, feeling a little embarrassed. "David, I think that I now understand what you said about Mike not being a big bully and that I shouldn't judge his behaviour too harshly. I've never seen such sadness and anger in anyone."
"Rose also said that you were very observant," David replied.
"I also observed that although sadness and anger were always there, the balance between them varied. For example, with Katie the anger almost disappeared, but with Connor the anger seemed to be dominant. Anyway, long story short, any negative feelings I might have had toward him have now disappeared."
Probably for reasons of confidentiality, neither of them commented on my observation, but David did prompt me by saying, "And fourth?"
"I think you know about my godparents who helped bring me up?"
"Yes," Sarah said. "Your brothers showed us photos."
"Well," I continued, "they, or more specifically my godmother, want to be able to chat with my brothers on the phone. So I contacted Rose, who talked with Aunt Anne and decided that it would be fine as long as you two were okay with it."
"Yes, Rose got in touch and said Sarah and I should make the final decision after speaking with you," David said. "You've known them your whole life, and presumably you can vouch for them. Can you think of any potential problems?"
"Aunt Anne, as I call my godmother, is a lovely, kind, gentle person and always sees the best in everyone," I said, "but at work and sometimes at home she's used to getting her own way. Until you get to know her and how to deal with her, she can be a little intimidating."
"I see," Sarah said thoughtfully, "and your godfather?"
"Oh, he's a great guy. He certainly knows how to handle her, and I learned a lot about that from him," I said with a wry smile.
"Of course," she said, "the first thing to consider is whether or not your brothers want to talk with her."
"I've not mentioned it to them yet. I wanted to check with you before doing that."
"If you tell them what to expect and they want to chat with her, then it should be okay," Sarah said, looking at her husband as he nodded his agreement. "However, it would be best if you acted as a sort of buffer for a while. For example, maybe at first she can chat using your phone or laptop, and you can monitor the boys' reactions."
"Great," I said, finishing my coffee. "I should get back to my brothers before they get too annoyed with me."
"You do know that they hero-worship you, don't you?" Sarah asked as I stood up to leave.
"I had an idea that Liam might, but I occasionally wonder if Connor sometimes sees me as a sort of competitor for his big brother status."
"Of course there is probably an element of that, but his hero-worship and respect are at least as strong as Liam's" she said. "And the reason I mention it is that you need to take care how you ask them what they want to do about talking to Anne or about anything else. If they feel you really want them to do something, then they might do it just to please you, even if they'd rather not."
"Oh, right," I said, wondering if that would really apply to Connor. "Thanks for the heads-up. I'll certainly bear that in mind."
"Don't worry. Having such an influence on the boys is a big responsibility but can be a very good thing when used carefully," David said. "Actually, that reminds me to tell you that their counsellor says she believes they won't need any more sessions, though she'll remain available if any problems come up."
"That's great news! Thanks again for everything," I replied and went to find my brothers.
Liam and Connor were just inside the living room door, close enough to see the kitchen door but probably not close enough to hear the conversation I'd had with their carers.
"You were ages," Liam complained.
I glanced at my watch and said, "Less than ten minutes."
"That's ages," Connor said accusingly. "Mike and Katie have gone to the park."
Then I noticed that not only were they alone in the room but also that they were holding hands. Connor, seeing the direction of my gaze, looked me in the eye as if challenging me to comment. I smiled and held out my hand to Liam, who initially seemed a little surprised, and then he grasped my hand. So there we were, with Liam in the middle holding hands with both his big brothers.
"Well, here I am now," I said. "What shall we do?"
Liam wanted to show me the garden before going up to their room to look through the photos, and Connor indulged him by agreeing to that. In order to go through the living room doorway, Liam had to let go of our hands.
"I'm glad I've only got two brothers," he said.
"Why's that?" I asked.
"Cos I've only got two hands," he replied, giving the impression that it should have been obvious.
Connor and I lifted our gaze from the little boy and looked at each other. The older boy rolled his eyes, and we proceeded to the rear door of the house.
The garden wasn't very big, but it was well cared for and had a wide variety of plants, indicating that David's work in the garden was a hobby and not merely a duty. There were flower beds around the periphery of the lawn and a smaller one in the middle of it, and they were bursting with colour. At the far end of the garden, there was a double swing.
Liam showed me around and described the work he'd been helping David with. Meanwhile Connor, who appeared to have little interest in the garden, went to play on the swing. However, he carefully ensured that he could observe us at all times. The younger boy was able to give names to many more plants than I could, and I was very impressed.
"I like roses," he said. "You have to cut off dead flowers, but David won't let me use secters."
"I'm glad that he won't," I said, guessing that he was referring to secateurs. "I love all your fingers, and I'd be sad if any got cut off."
"You're silly," he replied and treated me to a beautiful smile.
Before leaving the garden, Connor insisted that I push him on the swing. He kept asking me to push him higher and higher, but he didn't get to go as high as he wanted because I lost courage before he did. I was terrified that he might be injured because of my carelessness.
Back in their bedroom, we first went through the photos of the boys and their mother, and they told me as much detail as they could remember about each one. The photos were loose in an old shoebox, and, judging from their condition, I assumed that my brothers had looked at them many times. Sadly, there were only a few, and I wondered how many others had been on Mary's lost phone.
"That's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," I commented when they showed me a photo of Liam when he was probably less than six months old.
"What about this?" Connor asked, frowning and showing me a photo of himself as a baby.
"Oh, that's the cutest baby I've ever seen," I said.
The boys looked at each other, and I guessed they were trying to decide if being cute was better or worse than being beautiful.
After going through the photos from the boys' box, we went through the photos that I'd sent to them. They asked lots of questions, for example, about when and where they were taken. There wasn't much I could tell them about the photos of their mum except when they showed people and places I recognised. Some of the pictures were taken in the garden, which interested Liam, but I had to admit that now it wasn't as beautiful as when Gran took care of it.
"She was very pretty when she was a little girl," Connor commented.
"She was pretty when she was grown up, too," his little brother said in a slightly scolding tone.
"Yeah, obviously," the older boy admitted.
At one point while we were looking at photos, I caught a glimpse of red in the corner of my eye and turned my head to see Mike standing just outside the open doorway. As soon as he saw me looking at him, he quickly moved out of sight, but in the short time I could see his face, I thought that I saw more than a hint of jealousy mixed in with the usual sadness in his eyes. If there was any of the anger that I'd seen previously, I couldn't detect it.
When they were putting their photos back in the box, I had an idea.
"Those are all very precious," I said. "Don't you think it would be a good idea to have digital copies of them? And then you could look at them on the computer and phone anytime you want."
"How can we do that?" Liam asked, apparently approving my suggestion.
"If you trust me," I replied, looking particularly at Connor, "I'll take them home with me today, then scan them in and bring them back next weekend. I promise to take very good care of them."
"You're really coming next weekend?" Liam asked delightedly.
"Only if you want me to," I teased.
"You have to bring our pictures back," the older boy said.
"Yeah," his little brother said emphatically, nodding his head.
From that, I gathered that both boys trusted me to take care of their precious photos. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already almost five o'clock.
"It'll be time for your tea soon," I said.
"Teatime is six on Sundays," Connor said in a tone indicating that I should already know that.
"Oh," I said, feeling foolish. "Okay, that gives me more time to talk about something that you both need to decide." Seeing that they looked concerned, I added, "Don't worry; it's nothing bad."
"What is it?" the older boy asked.
"This is something that you must decide for yourselves whether or not you may want to do. You shouldn't do it just to make someone else happy."
'Oh, get on with it," the older boy said impatiently.
"Aunt Anne wants to chat with you on the phone. Do you think that you two would like to do that?"
The boys looked at one another, obviously puzzled.
"Why're you making such a fuss?" Connor asked.
"Sometimes Aunt Anne can be a bit bossy, and I want to know you can deal with that."
"Connor's bossy sometimes," Liam said with a cheeky smile, "and it doesn't really bother me."
"But you never do what I tell you," the older boy said, glaring at his little brother.
"Anyway, you two can talk about it and take as long as you like to decide. Then let me know what you want to do."
The two boys looked at each other and exchanged nods. Following that silent communication, Connor spoke.
"Okay. We want to talk with them. Do we call them Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey?"
"Yes, I think they'd like that," I said. "And remember that you can end a call at any time. Just make up any excuse."
"What about Rule Two?" Connor asked.
Yet again, it occurred to me that despite his interest in computing, he might turn out to be a lawyer.
"Although it's always best not to lie if it can be avoided, technically Rule Two applies only to family, and Aunt Anne isn't a blood relative. And you can always make up an excuse that's sort of true."
"You're sneaky," the older boy commented.
The words might have been interpreted as a criticism except for the smile of admiration he gave me.
Liam, who appeared to have grown tired of the topic of discussion, asked me what I would be doing until my next visit. I told him about my plans, including the fact that on Tuesday I'd be going to university for a day just to collect the rest of my belongings and that would be the same day I got my exam results.
"Will you have more exams?" Connor asked.
"Only if I failed these. Otherwise, I'll never have any more exams."
"You're really, really lucky," he said enviously.
At that point, Sarah appeared in the doorway and asked if I was going to be staying for tea. When I told her that I was still full from the wonderful lunch, she insisted that I at least have a cup of tea before leaving. The boys complained that I was going 'so soon' and followed me down to the kitchen. From the way they kept so close to me, it appeared that they were reluctant to let me out of their sight.
When we passed through the living room, Katie was on the floor with Susie, playing with a furry dog glove puppet. From what I'd seen of the two of them so far, I got the impression that they had a close bond. In the kitchen, David was making tea for us adults, and Sarah was getting the apple juice that my brothers had requested.
"Paul's coming back next weekend," Connor announced happily.
"Yeah," his little brother agreed, "he has to bring back our pictures of Mum."
"I haven't asked Sarah and David yet. We need their permission first," I said, feeling very embarrassed. Addressing the foster carers, I added, "I'm sorry. I was going to ask you before I left, but if next weekend is inconvenient, I can just stop by with the photos sometime next week."
"As long as you give reasonable notice, you're welcome at any time," Sarah said. "Would you like to come for Sunday lunch?"
"I couldn't impose on you again like that, not only taking your food but also inserting myself into your family time. I'd feel too guilty."
"It's not imposing," David replied. "Liam and Connor are part of our family, and as their brother, you're also family."
"And we always have plenty of food," Sarah added.
"Please," Liam said plaintively, while the older boy looked at me pleadingly.
"Okay, I give in. Thank you so much. But you must let me bring dessert. Is anyone allergic to any foods?"
"No," Sarah replied with a smile, "but Connor doesn't like fruitcake, and Mike won't eat anything with garlic."
"Don't worry, I don't like fruitcake, either. I don't even like traditional Christmas pudding. So I won't be making any fruitcakes. And I rarely put garlic in cakes."
"Making?" Sarah asked. "I thought you'd just buy something."
"When I was a little boy, I loved helping Gran in the kitchen when she was cooking and baking, and she always explained what she was doing," I said. "By the time I was a teenager, I'd often bake cakes for her church functions. Anyway, I wouldn't dream of bringing a bought dessert to your home-cooked lunch."
After finishing our drinks, David and Sarah started preparing the evening meal. I said farewell and gave my thanks to them, and my brothers and I went to my car. As we reached the front door, Liam, who was already holding on to Connor's hand, also grasped my hand. Both of them appeared to share my sadness that I was leaving them.
"Drive safe," the little boy said, without releasing my hand.
"Call us when you get home," the older boy added.
"Can I have a goodbye hug?" Liam asked.
"Of course," I replied.
Immediately, Liam let go of my hand and turned to hug me, so I bent down and picked him up, and he put his arms round my neck. After a few seconds I put him down and noticed that although he wasn't crying, there were tears in his eyes. Then I turned to Connor, who without hesitation threw himself into my arms. That didn't last as long as the hug with his little brother, and when he pulled away, he was clearly trying to hide his sadness.
When I got home, I waited until I was sure their evening meal would have finished before I called them. We didn't talk for long, and before the call ended, Liam reminded me that I'd promised to make a video of my home. His brother mentioned that chocolate cake was his favourite. Although he'd tried to make it seem like a casual observation, I recognised it as a not very subtle hint about what cake I might bake for my next visit.
Authors deserve your feedback. It's the only payment they get. If you go to the top of the page you will find the author's name. Click that and you can email the author easily.* Please take a few moments, if you liked the story, to say so.
[For those who use webmail, or whose regular email client opens when they want to use webmail instead: Please right click the author's name. A menu will open in which you can copy the email address (it goes directly to your clipboard without having the courtesy of mentioning that to you) to paste into your webmail system (Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo etc). Each browser is subtly different, each Webmail system is different, or we'd give fuller instructions here. We trust you to know how to use your own system. Note: If the email address pastes or arrives with %40 in the middle, replace that weird set of characters with an @ sign.]
* Some browsers may require a right click instead
