Gran's House
by Kit
Chapter 6
Having boxed and wrapped the laptops and accessories, I returned to university, arriving there in time for a late lunch. By the time I'd eaten, it was almost two o'clock and time for me to phone my brothers. They answered very quickly.
"Hi, Paul," Connor greeted me with a big grin.
"You said I could answer it," complained Liam as his grumpy face came into view.
"But I was nearest and didn't want to keep Paul waiting."
"Hi, brothers!" I said, hoping to distract them from their disagreement.
"Hi, Paul," Liam said, his expression changing from grumpy to happy. "Did you do what you wanted when you went home? I hope you were careful driving."
"Yes, I managed to get it done, and don't worry, I drove carefully."
As was often the case, they asked what I'd had for lunch, and then Connor boasted that their lunch had been much better. Also as usual, I asked what they had planned for the afternoon.
Liam grabbed the phone, still held by his brother, and turned it so that he was at the centre of the screen. From his excited expression, it seemed clear that he had something he was eager to tell me.
"David said that because the weather's nice, he's going to do some gardening and that I can help him!"
"That sounds like fun," I said, trying to match his enthusiasm.
His big brother turned the phone so his face filled most of the screen, rolled his eyes and said, "Not."
"It will be fun," Liam asserted, strongly emphasising the word 'will'.
"Why not hold the phone so I can see you both?" I suggested, trying to reduce the risk of them starting an argument.
"Connor, what will you be doing later?" I asked once they'd followed my suggestion.
"I'll be going to the park with Katie and Mike to kick a ball around. Maybe we can find more people there for a proper game."
"I got the impression that you didn't get on so well with Mike," I said, mildly surprised.
"He's usually okay, and he's better when Katie's there ," Connor replied grudgingly. With a sly grin he added, "Sometimes he gets annoyed because she's a better footie player than he is. But I'm the best player."
"Is the park nearby?"
"Just across the road."
Liam, who was apparently getting bored with the conversation, decided to change topics.
"You said you'd tell us about the house where you live. Where Mum grew up."
"Okay, but if you wait until after my exams, I can give you a guided video tour."
"You can tell us now and do the video thing later," the older boy said, then with a frown, he added, "You promised."
I sighed, pretending that they were asking me to perform an onerous duty.
"Right, well after that, I expect you to tell me about where you live."
They both nodded their agreement, and I began my description as if I were arriving at the front of the house.
"There's a small front garden with a couple of trees. Really, it's just a lawn surrounded by bushes, and there are some roses. Just inside the front door is the hallway that goes from the front door to the back of the house. On the left is the staircase, and on the right is the parlour…"
"What's a parlour?" Liam asked.
""It's like a living room but with better furniture and used for entertaining guests," I said.
The boys looked at each other as if I'd been speaking some unknown language.
"So you have a posh room that's only used for visitors? That's a waste of space," Connor said.
He rolled his eyes, and it occurred to me that it was something I'd seen him do quite often during our video chats. Clearly, it was something he enjoyed doing whenever a suitable opportunity arose.
"I tend to agree," I admitted, "but it also has a lot of books, and it was my grandparents' house, so they got to decide how to use the rooms. Anyway, they socialised quite a bit and used the room a couple of times a week."
"Go on, then. Tell us more," Connor said, and his little brother eagerly nodded his agreement.
"Okay. Under the staircase is a small table with the old landline phone," I said, remembering that I intended to get rid of that but never seemed to find the time. "And next to that are a couple of coat stands, and then there is the door to the dining room…"
"Coat stands are like little trees for hanging coats?" the older boy asked.
"Yes, that's right. Look, wouldn't it be easier if we waited until I could do a video show for you?"
Up until then, Liam had been listening to me with his eyes closed, and it seemed as if he'd been trying to make a mental image in his head. On the other hand, it occurred to me that maybe he was just falling asleep.
"No!" he said, opening his eyes. "Keep going. We want to know where Mum lived. And you promised."
"Past the dining room is the kitchen, and across the hallway from that is the living room," I continued, noticing that Liam had closed his eyes again. "Past the kitchen is the laundry room with a door to the downstairs loo and another door down to the basement. At the end of the hallway is the entrance to the conservatory."
"That's like a greenhouse for growing plants, right?" Liam asked, opening his eyes.
"Yes, but it's attached to the house, and it's where Gran and Grandad liked to sit and read. Gran grew lots of plants there, including things like tomatoes. There were way more tomatoes than we could ever eat. But now the only plants that are left are some cacti and a couple of spider plants."
"What did you do with all the extra tomatoes?" Connor asked.
"And what happened to all the other plants your gran had?" his little brother chipped in.
"We gave lots of tomatoes to Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey. Gran and Grandad took some to work, and Gran made the rest into chutney," I replied. "After Gran died and I was at uni, there was no one to look after the plants that needed lots of attention, so most were given away and the rest died."
"I would've taken care of them," Liam said unhappily. "I wouldn't let them die."
Unsure how to respond to that, I asked them if they wanted to know about the upstairs part of the house. Both said 'yes', and the younger boy closed his eyes again.
"As you go up the stairs, they take a right-angle turn to the right, and they come out in a hallway that runs from front to back of the house. I'm not exactly sure of the layout when your mum lived here because after she left, Grandad decided to do some remodelling. One of the small rooms was combined with the large room to make a master bedroom with a walk-in wardrobe and en suite bathroom."
"What's on sweet?" Liam asked.
"It means that the bathroom is connected to the bedroom," the older boy said, surprising me with his knowledge. "Like what David and Sarah have."
When Liam nodded his understanding and closed his eyes again, I continued.
"Grandad also turned another small room into his office. So now there's the big bedroom, three medium bedrooms and the office. My bedroom is the medium room nearest the back of the house, and it's next to what was your mum's room. At the very back of the house is a bathroom and toilet."
"Why don't you have the big bedroom?" Connor asked.
"Moving will be a bit of a hassle, and I just haven't got around to it yet."
"Are you afraid of ghosts?" the older boy teased.
"What ghosts? There's no such thing as ghosts," I said dismissively.
"Gran and Grandad," he replied. "You said that was their room."
"They didn't die here. Grandad died at work, and Gran died in hospital. And even if they were ghosts, they'd be nice and kind and friendly."
"Okay, if you say so," he said, rolling his eyes.
"What else is there upstairs?" Liam asked, apparently anxious to change the subject.
"Actually, that's about it," I said, "except that between the top of the stairs and the small room is a little door leading to smaller stairs that go up to the attic."
"An attic?" Connor said, apparently finding that even more interesting than ghosts. "What's up there?"
"It's really just a space below the roof where there's lots of dusty junk. As far as I know, no one's been up there since Grandad died."
"What sort of junk?" Connor asked. "I bet it'd be fun to explore."
"Yes, when I was about your age, I did find it fun to explore," I admitted and smiled. "Like I said, it was junk, like the stuff old people don't need but don't want to throw away. There were some old suitcases full of stuff, but they were locked. Anyway, I couldn't spend much time up there without sneezing, and Gran complained about my clothes being covered in dust."
"That's a huge house," Liam commented. "It must be horrible living there all on your own."
"Don't worry," his brother said before I could respond. "I'm sure Paul can get married soon and make lots of babies to fill the house up."
His words surprised me, and it was a little disturbing that I couldn't detect any emotion in his voice, so I had no idea if his comment was intended as a joke. Judging from the look that Liam gave him, it seemed that he, too, was confused by what the older boy had said.
"You said there was a garden?" Liam said, looking back at the screen.
"Yes, as well as the small garden at the front, there's a big garden at the back. Near the house is the bike shed that was also Grandad's workshop. Then there's a reasonably big lawn with some flower beds, and at the bottom of the garden, just where the fruit trees start, there's the garden shed."
"Fruit trees?" Liam almost yelped the question. "What sort of fruit?"
"There are three apple trees, two pear trees, two plum trees and two quince trees."
"What's 'quince'?" the little boy asked.
"Erm," I said, trying to work out how best to describe it, "it looks a bit like a stubby pear, but it's hard and sour, even when it's ripe, but Gran made great jam with it. And she sometimes used it in pies."
"Can you bring us some fruits?" Liam asked eagerly.
"There won't be any ripe fruit until the end of summer," I said. "So you'll need to remind me then."
"And who takes care of all that garden now that Gran's gone?" he asked.
"The plants that need a lot of care have been replaced. There are still roses and the sort of flowers that grow from bulbs. Sometimes I do a bit of tidying, but most of the heavy work is done by a garden firm. They come a half day per week in winter and two or three half days per week the rest of the year."
"You pay them? I'll do it for free!" the little boy offered.
"That's very kind of you," I said and smiled broadly, "but I don't want to be accused of child exploitation."
"Then you'll have to pay him," Connor said smugly.
"Anyway," I said, "it's your turn to tell me about where you live."
"You should come and see it," Liam said.
"I told you I'll come to visit you as soon as I can after my exams finish," I pointed out gently. "But as I've told you about where I grew up, you can tell me about where you grew up. After all, I'll never get to see that for myself."
Before either of them could start telling me about their old home, there was a knocking at the door.
"Liam, I'm about to start work in the garden," David called out. "And Connor, Mike and Katie are waiting for you to go to the park with them."
The boys looked at each other and then at me and both looked hesitant.
"Go on, we can chat another time, but you should enjoy yourself outside today," I told them. "Anyway, I've got to get some studying done."
"Boooorrriiiiing!" they both said almost in unison.
Immediately after the call ended I sent a text message to David thanking him for letting Liam help him in the garden. Just over an hour later, I received a reply saying that he should be thanking Liam because he was not only good company but also very helpful.
Over the course of the next couple of weeks, I had about a half-dozen chats with my brothers. It appeared that they called me when they were in the mood, which sometimes meant they didn't have much time before they had to do other things. My calls to them usually lasted longer because I chose times that fit the schedule that had been sent to me.
During our talks, I learned that the flat where they'd lived with their mother had been one of four in a converted old house. They had been on the ground floor, and their occasional babysitter, Mrs Taylor, had been in the other ground-floor flat. The door to the flat opened directly into the living room, from which other doors led to the four other rooms: two bedrooms, a bathroom/toilet, and a small kitchen.
Connor said they'd been there for about three years, and Liam added that the furniture was old and smelly. Then the older brother pointed out that it wasn't their mum's fault because the furniture had been in the flat when they moved in. The only contents of the living room that their mum had bought were a TV and a second-hand desktop computer. Connor complained that there had been no internet connection.
After their mother died, they spent a few nights in emergency foster care until Rose found them their current home. Before moving to live with David and Sarah, the boys went back to the flat to pick up their things. Although their clothes and toys were still there, the TV, computer, microwave, and many small items had disappeared.
About ten minutes into another call, Connor asked if Rule Two still applied.
"Of course it does," I replied. "It is still there until one of us breaks it; then all three of us will have to agree again before it comes back."
"Why don't you ever talk about Mum?" he asked with great seriousness.
I immediately guessed that this question had been on his mind when he'd asked about the rule. Perhaps this was a test to see if I could be trusted to keep to it.
"There are a couple of reasons. One is that I never knew her because she left when I was just a baby. I bet you don't remember anything from when you were so young. So I don't have much to say about her. The other reason is that I didn't want to upset you if you weren't ready to talk about her. So I was waiting for you to mention it first."
The boys looked at each other, then looked back at the screen. As if by telepathy, it seemed that they had agreed that they wanted to talk about her.
"Were you sad because you didn't have a mum?" Connor began. Before I could reply, he added, "Why did she leave you?"
"I wasn't sad because I never knew what it was like to have a mum, and I had Gran and Grandad, who were like parents. Plus, there was Aunt Anne and Uncle Geoffrey, so I had four people caring for me. And I don't know why she left. Sometimes people have complicated reasons for doing things, and other people don't understand those reasons." I replied. "Were you sad because you didn't have a dad?"
Connor shook his head to indicate 'no', and Liam shrugged his shoulders as if he really didn't care.
"She was a good mum," the older boy said as if to challenge me. "She loved us and looked after us and always made sure we had something to eat."
"I never said she wasn't a good mum. You knew her, and I didn't, so you can judge better than me," I said. Then wondering why he should even mention it, I asked, "Did someone say she wasn't?"
"Mrs Taylor said that to the policeman who came when Mum didn't come home," Connor said resentfully. "But it isn't true!"
He glared at me, as if daring me to contradict him, but when I stayed silent and looked sympathetic, he continued, "One time, she got hurt saving us."
His little brother gave him a confused look, apparently not understanding what he was referring to.
"Liam was only little, so prob'ly he won't remember," Connor explained. "Mum's man friend was mad and wanted to hurt us, but Mum shut us in our room, and then I heard a big fight. When Mum came to say everything was okay, there were big red marks on her face, and her wrist was sore for ages."
"I think I remember something like that," the younger boy said uncertainly. "Was that when I was scared and you hugged me until I stopped crying?"
"Yeah, that was prob'ly it," Connor said, putting a protective arm over his little brother's shoulders, as if re-enacting part of the memory. "After that we moved to a different flat, and her friends didn't visit anymore."
For several seconds I was silent, unable to think of anything appropriate to say. Eventually, the only thing that occurred to me sounded lame.
"A good mum protects her children like that."
"She took us to the seaside," Liam said, apparently anxious to say something to cheer us all up. "I love the seaside."
"Where did you go?" I asked, grateful for his positive character.
"Scarborough a few times, and Robin Hood's Bay," the younger boy said brightly. "That was my favourite, but we never saw Robin Hood."
"That's just a name!" his brother said and rolled his eyes.
"Ha!" Liam replied gleefully. "I know that. I was just joking."
"You're daft," Connor said affectionately as he gently squeezed his brother' s shoulders. Addressing me directly, he added, "I liked Whitby because of the Dracula story."
"And once we went to Blackpool," the younger boy said, as if it was something he'd only just remembered. "But that was a long, long way."
"Did you go to the seaside by train or bus?" I asked.
"Depends," the older boy replied. "Train if we could. And once one of Mum's friends took us to Scarborough in his car."
"I like trains!" Liam chipped in. "Do you like trains, Paul?"
"Yes, trains are nice for long distances," I said, "but for shorter distances I go by car."
"But what about before you could drive?" Connor asked.
"There was always Grandad, or Gran, or my godparents who could take me places."
"Godparents," Liam said slowly. It wasn't a question, and I'd already told him what godparents were, so I got the feeling that he was just trying out the word.
The conversation briefly drifted on to other things, and it was soon time to end the call.
A couple of days before Connor's birthday, I sent him a card, and the following day, David phoned me to say that the laptop was now ready to be given to my brother but that he would wait until after school to do it. The other two laptops weren't quite ready, and in any case he didn't want to take away from Connor's special day, so he'd give those to Katie and Mike at the weekend.
Around eight o'clock on the evening of his birthday, Connor called, and I could tell that he was making the connection from his laptop.
"Happy Birthday!" I said as soon as I saw him on the screen.
"Hi, Paul! Thanks for the card and the present. I can't believe that you got me my own computer!"
"I'm glad you like it, and of course it is yours, but I hope you'll let Liam use it sometimes when you're doing other things."
"Yeah, obviously," he said as if it was something that he hadn't really thought about. "Sorry it's a bit late, but I've been busy working out how to use it and how to go online."
"Playing," the younger boy said derisively, leaning in and craning his neck so that he was sure I could see him. "He's just been playing with it."
"Have not! There aren't even any proper games on it yet!" his brother retorted.
Liam looked directly at the screen and, unusually for him, rolled his eyes. We both seemed to be thinking the same thing: that it's possible to play with a computer, even without 'proper games'.
"Sarah and David gave me a birthday cake," Connor said. "Chocolate, cos they know I don't really like fruitcake."
"That's very good of them," I said, grateful that my brothers' foster carers were so considerate. "They're really very good to you."
"Yeah," Liam said happily. "They're nice."
There was a brief silence during which we all seemed to be basking in happy thoughts. Then I noticed Connor's expression becoming more serious and thoughtful, as if there was something he wanted to say but was reluctant to say it.
"You know, Connor, if you want to say something, maybe if there's something you don't like about your present, you can say it," I said encouragingly. "We're brothers, and I promise I won't be upset."
"Oh, it's not that!" he protested quickly. "The laptop's great. It's the best present I ever had."
By this time, Liam, who obviously had no idea what was going on, began to lose his happy smile as he looked from Connor to me and back to the older boy.
"And yet I get the feeling that there's something making you feel, maybe, erm, uncomfortable?" I said soothingly. "It's your birthday, and you should be happy, and I don't want anything to spoil that."
He looked concerned, and for a couple of seconds he sucked on his lower lip, so I thought I should let him know that there was an easy way out.
"Remember, Rule Two means that you can choose not to say anything at all, and you can keep your thoughts private."
"There's something I really want to say, but I don't want you to be mad at me," he said tentatively.
"I promise I won't be mad at you."
"Well," he said and took a deep breath before continuing, "It's the best present ever, but I wonder, I don't know why…"
His voice trailed off, and I tried to work out what his problem was. So I was feeling puzzled as I responded, "Why? Because it's your birthday."
"Yeah, but it's new, and I bet it cost lots and lots. You didn't have to get me something that cost so much, so I wonder why. What d'you expect?"
"You're my brother, and this is the first time I've been around for your birthday. So I wanted to make it special and give you something that I thought you would really want."
Connor's look of uncertainty grew deeper before he replied.
"Mum said that you never get anything for nothing, and people always expect something back."
"But your mum gave you presents, and I bet Liam gave you something today…"
"I gave him a new football," Liam said, seemingly puzzled by the conversation.
"But they're my family," the older boy said, "and they never gave me such an expensive present."
"I'm your family, too," I said, feeling a little hurt.
"Yeah, but I've only known you for a bit, and we've never even met," he said, and then more hesitantly, and in a quieter voice, he added, "And Mum used to say that you can't buy love."
"She was right," I agreed, "but if you could buy love, I'm sure that your love would cost a lot more and be worth a lot more than a laptop."
"You don't need to buy my love!" Liam said, trying to make us all feel better, "cos I already love you."
Connor gave his little brother a startled look, and Liam, on seeing that, looked anxious and guilty as he hastily spoke again.
"But I love you more, Connor."
The poor little boy looked anxiously at the screen as if he now felt guilty that he might have hurt my feelings.
"That's okay, Liam," I reassured him. "It's okay to love some people more than others. I'm very happy that you love me, and I'd be very surprised if you didn't love Connor more. After all, he's been a good big brother for your whole life. I loved both my Gran and my Grandad, but to be honest, I loved my Gran more.
"And as well as loving some people more than others, there are different types of love that can't really be compared as 'more' or 'less'. The sort of love you had for your mum is a different kind than the sort of love you have for Connor. And in case you're wondering, I love you, too, Liam."
Perhaps my explanation had been too complicated for a seven-year-old, but from his expression of relief and happiness, it had the desired effect.
"What about me?" the older boy asked.
"Yes, I love you, too," I replied and smiled.
"Who do you love more?" Liam asked mischievously, "Me or Connor?"
"Ah, now I must use Rule Two!"
Both boys laughed, but the older boy quickly became more serious again. Our conversation so far had made him feel more free to express himself.
"Paul, it's not about love, but…"
I felt that this time his hesitation wasn't caused by a reluctance to speak his mind but was a result of his inability to find the right words. So I took a few seconds to try to put myself in his position and work out what he might wish to say. I also remembered something he'd said about me finding a girlfriend and making babies.
"Okay, Connor," I said gently, "you don't have to confirm or deny it; you can use Rule Two, but here is what I would probably say if I were in your position. You like me and maybe even love me a bit, but you don't really trust me."
Connor's face initially expressed shock, then concern that maybe I could read his mind, and finally relief that I'd said what he'd wanted to say. He was probably also relieved that his lack of trust hadn't produced a negative reaction from me.
"I trust you, Paul," Liam said, clearly trying to make me feel better.
"Maybe trusting is easier for you, Liam," I said. "With such a good big brother as Connor, you've always had someone you know you can trust. But Connor has never had a big brother he can trust, and in a way, when he does trust someone, he has to do it for both of you. If he makes a mistake and trusts the wrong person, then he's not the only one who might get hurt. You also could be hurt, and Connor would never risk you getting hurt."
"But you'd never hurt us," Liam declared with certainty.
"Of course, I'd never deliberately hurt you, but Connor is old enough to know that sometimes people can hurt you without meaning it."
I looked into Connor's eyes, and again I saw the mixture of concern that I could tell what he was thinking and relief that I'd said it for him.
"Suppose he grows to love me and trust me," I tried to explain for the younger boy. "Suppose both of you grow to rely on me being here for you. Suppose I have to go away or even die. Then you may be hurt, or at least sad.
"And Connor may wonder if I may find something else that I may find more interesting and decide not to spend time with you. Maybe he thinks I might find a girlfriend and decide that making babies with her is more fun than being with my brothers."
Connor gave me a look of surprise, probably because he hadn't expected me to remember what he'd said previously.
"All I can say is that my brothers are my top priority, and I'll be here for you for as long as you want me to be. But I'm sure that for Connor what I say is much less important than what I do, and he'll watch what I do for as long as it takes for him to learn that he can trust me."
By that stage, I was pretty sure that Liam was no longer really following my discourse, but I was reasonably confident that Connor had understood and would give serious consideration to what I'd said.
The next video call was planned for after Sunday lunch. However, before I could make the connection, David phoned me.
"Hi, Paul. Liam told me that you're planning on calling them this afternoon."
"Yes, probably in about a quarter of an hour."
"Well, I should let you know that Connor won't be taking part."
"Is he okay?"
"Yes, but apart from toilet visits, he's confined to his room until Monday morning, unless he makes an apology before then."
"I guess that he's done something pretty bad, then?"
"This morning, just after breakfast, he punched Mike," David said with great seriousness, "and physical violence is the most serious form of bad behaviour."
"Of course, I totally agree. Is Mike okay?"
"Yes, both boys are fine, probably because after the punch it turned into a wrestling match. Sarah quickly broke it up, and the boys ended up with just a couple of minor bruises."
"Presumably Connor gave some reason for what he did?" I asked.
"He said that Mike had called Liam some nasty names and had used bad words, and that it wasn't the first time. Liam confirmed that, but Mike denies it. However, none of them will say what the 'bad words' were. I'm inclined to believe your brothers' version, but no 'nasty names' can justify physical violence, and Connor admitted hitting Mike first."
"That's absolutely right," I agreed. "I'm sure that you know best how to handle such a situation. When Connor is allowed to communicate again, would it help if I told him how much I disapprove of what he did?"
"It wouldn't do any harm," David replied after a brief pause to consider my offer.
"What was Liam's reaction to all the fuss, and what happens to him while he's not allowed to communicate with his brother?"
"Liam was very upset at the time, but by lunchtime, when he took Connor's lunch to their room, he appeared to be back to normal. Of course, Liam isn't being punished for anything, though he may feel that not being able to spend time with his brother is a punishment. However, hopefully the fact that he currently has sole access to the laptop and to their phone will make up for that."
"If I understand correctly, Mike's older," I said, "so it sounds like he's a big bully."
"He's a couple of years older than Connor, but he's actually not much bigger. Obviously I can't tell you about his background, but I'm sure that if you knew it, you probably wouldn't judge him so harshly," David replied. "Anyway, now that you know the situation, I'll let you go so that you can chat with Liam."
"Okay. Thanks for letting me know what happened."
"Oh, before I go," he said, "with all this going on, I forgot to tell you that I gave the other laptops to Mike and Katie. They were both thrilled and very grateful. I suggested that they might want to thank you in person next time you're chatting with your brothers, but of course Mike won't be able to do that today."
A few minutes after we hung up, I made the video call to Liam, who immediately appeared on my screen, so I assumed that he'd been waiting by the laptop.
"Hi, Paul," he greeted me excitedly and immediately began talking rapidly. "I'm in David's office cos I'm not allowed to be with Connor, and he's not allowed out of our room except for the toilet, and he's not allowed to use the phone or computer."
All of that seemed to have been said without taking a breath, and when he paused to breathe, I took my chance to speak.
"Yes, I know. David told me what happened. He said that Connor can come out of your room if he apologises."
"He already said sorry to Sarah, but I don't think he'll say sorry to Mike. It wasn't Connor's fault cos Mike started it by calling us names and saying bad words."
"But isn't it true that Connor hit Mike first?"
"Yeah, but only because Mike called us bad names," he said, frowning.
"You shouldn't hit someone," I said seriously, "no matter how bad the things they say. You do understand that, don't you?"
"Yeah," he said uncertainly, giving me the impression that although he understood, he didn't completely agree with my point of view.
"David said that you and Connor wouldn't tell him what Mike had said. Will you tell me?"
He frowned again, making his glasses slip down on his nose so that he had to use his index finger to push them back into position. He was normally such a cheerful little boy, and I couldn't remember seeing so much frowning in such a short space of time.
"I promised Connor that I wouldn't tell."
"I wouldn't want you to break a promise, especially not to your brother, but maybe sometime you could both agree to tell me."
"Okay," he said, clearly relieved that I didn't press him on the matter.
"Just to be clear about what you already told me," I said. "Mike called both you and Connor the bad names, not just you?"
He nodded his head to indicate 'yes', and his body language made it obvious that he wanted this topic to be finished. The information that David had obtained from the boys appeared to be slightly different than what I'd just heard from Liam. When David had mentioned the 'nasty names' being applied to Liam, I'd wondered if there might have been some racial insult. However, if both boys had indeed been insulted, my guess would have been wrong.
"Are you enjoying having the computer and phone all to yourself?" I asked, as anxious as Liam to move on to a lighter topic.
"Yeah, it's fun," he replied, clearly relieved at the change of subject. "But it's more fun with Connor."
"Has he been letting you use it?"
"Not much by myself, but he lets me use it with him. And I get to play on the phone a lot on my own."
"Probably he'll let you use it more when it's not so new to him."
"Maybe," he replied, shrugging as if it didn't really matter to him. "But it's okay cos I like it better when we use it together."
"David told me that he gave the old laptops to Mike and Katie," I said.
"Oh, yeah," he replied. "They were really happy and said thanks. But I think Connor wasn't so happy."
"Why wasn't he happy?"
"Cos you're our brother, not theirs," he said with strong emphasis on the word 'our', "and it wasn't even their birthday."
"But Connor got a brand new one that was much better than the old ones that Katie and Mike got. I bought Connor's present especially for him, but they just got old spares that I already had lying around."
He shrugged and smiled but gave me the impression that although he was content with my explanation, he wasn't so sure that his brother would accept it so easily.
"Speaking of presents," I said, "it was very good of you to buy him that new football."
"He's my brother," he said in a tone that implied that giving a present to one's brother was so natural that doing so wasn't related to being 'good'. "And he wanted it because the old one kept going soft."
"Where did you get the money to buy it?"
"From David. He said it was for helping him with garden work," he said.
His eyes flashed as he smiled, making me realise yet again just how much talking with him raised my spirits.
"But you enjoy working in the garden and would do it for free anyway," I pointed out.
"Yeah, I know!" he said and laughed gleefully.
"It's great when you have a job that you love doing," I commented, hoping that both my brothers would be able to get such a job when they grew up.
"I said I'd do garden stuff with David this afternoon," Liam said, "but I like talking to you."
"I like talking with you, too, but you told David that you'd do it, and you should always stick to what you say you'll do," I said. "But you can always call me after you've finished. If you don't get time before your teatime, you can call me after you eat."
"Really? That's great," he said happily, "'specially if Connor's still stuck in the bedroom."
"Okay, then…"
Before I could finish what I was about to say, he interrupted me. "Oh, I forgot! I said Katie could come in and say thanks. Is that okay?"
"Yes, that's fine."
He immediately disappeared from view, and in the background I heard him yelling, " Kaayytee ! Kaayytee!"
A couple of minutes later, he reappeared, followed by Katie, who was about a head taller than Liam. She had relatively short black hair and olive skin, and she was wearing a grey sweatshirt and light blue jeans. Because of the clothes and hairstyle, if I hadn't known who she was, the fact that she was a girl wouldn't have been immediately obvious.
"Hi," she said shyly. Leaning closer to the screen, her dark brown eyes full of doubt, she added, "Are you really Liam and Connor's brother?"
"Yes, I'm their brother. We had the same mum."
"Okay," she said, giving me the impression that she wasn't entirely convinced. Then, remembering why she'd come in, she added, "Thanks for the computer. I really like it."
"You're very welcome."
"But, erm, why did you give them to us?" she asked with a hint of suspicion in her voice. "My birthday's not till August."
"As I was giving a brand new one to Connor for his birthday, I didn't want the rest of you to feel left out. And I had a couple of old spares, so I thought I could give them to you and Mike." I noticed that she had the laptop tucked under her arm and added, "The one you got belonged to my gran."
"Doesn't she want it anymore?"
"No. She died."
"Oh!" she said sadly. "Did you cry a lot?"
"Just a little bit," I replied, a little surprised by what seemed to be a strange question.
"So I can keep it, then? Even if I move somewhere else?"
"Yes, it's yours," I reassured her. "You can keep it and take it wherever you like."
"Okay. Thanks," she said, some of her initial shyness apparently returning. "I've got to go now. I promised that I'd play with Susie. Bye."
She disappeared from view, and Liam, who'd been hovering impatiently in the background, came close enough to fill the screen view.
"I'll go and help David in the garden now," he said a little regretfully, "but I can call later, okay?"
"Yes, that will be great," I replied. "I'll look forward to it. Enjoy the gardening!"
"I will," he said happily. "Bye!"
After that, I made myself some tea before returning to my studies, and as I did so, I smiled to myself as I imagined my brothers' voices telling me that it was 'boooriiiing!'
A little after seven o'clock that evening, a video call request came in from my brothers' ID, and when the call was accepted, it displayed both Liam and Connor.
"Connor, I see that you've been allowed to use your computer again," I commented after our initial greetings.
"Yeah. I'm not in prison now," he joked. "I said sorry to Mike, even though I didn't really feel sorry."
"So you said it just to escape your room and get your computer back?"
"And because it wasn't fair for Liam to be kept out of our room because of what I did."
"It's very good of you to do something you didn't want out of consideration for your brother," I said approvingly. "But don't you feel even a little bit sorry for hitting Mike?"
"He deserved it!" Connor insisted.
"Remember I mentioned Rule One?"
"Yeah, but you said it was for family in your house," he replied, apparently satisfied that he had scored a debating point.
"I think I told you that the main reason for Rule One was so that everyone in the house would feel safe and secure," I said gently. "Well, that is your home, and it's hard for people to feel secure if someone goes around being violent. And no matter where you are, it's not good to hit someone because of something they said."
"Yeah, I s'pose," Connor agreed reluctantly. "But what he said was really bad."
"Do you feel like telling me what it was?"
"No!" he exclaimed with an expression of horror tinged with fear.
"Okay," I soothed. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, and I won't ask again. But if you ever do want to talk about it, then I promise to listen and not tell anyone else."
There was a brief pause in the conversation, during which Connor sucked on his lower lip and apparently considered what I'd said. Liam, who'd looked slightly unhappy while we'd been talking, smiled and broke the silence.
"Mike's still in his room until tomorrow," he said happily. "He said he won't say sorry to anyone, not even Sarah."
"Now that you're both here," I said, "I should tell you that my exams start on Tuesday, and they'll last for just over a week. Even when I'm not in exams, I'll be studying hard, and I'll be a bit stressed out. So I won't be able to chat much until after the last exam, and even when I can chat, it will be short. Anyway, I'll call you when I can, but it's probably best if you don't call me, unless it's an emergency, of course."
Both boys looked as if I'd made some horrific announcement.
"Don't worry," I added, "it will only be a few days, then I'll have even more time for you than before."
"Will you have time to visit us then?" Liam asked hopefully.
"I promise that when my exams are over, I'll arrange with David and Sarah to visit you as soon as possible."
Despite my promise, when we said our goodbyes a couple of minutes later, both boys seemed more subdued than usual.
On the evening of the following day, I was a little surprised to get a call from the foster carers' work phone, and I was mildly concerned that there might be some problem with my brothers.
"Hi, Paul," Sarah said. "Your brothers told me you'd be busy, but this will only take a minute. Mike has something to say to you."
"Hi," Mike said. "Thanks for the laptop. It's really nice, and I like it a lot."
He had a Midlands accent, and although it was obviously a boy's voice, there was a hoarse edge to it. This was not a video call, but the grudging and grumpy tone told me he was not particularly happy to be making it. I wondered how he'd been persuaded to do it. However, his gratitude did sound genuine, and I remembered what David had said about not judging the boy harshly.
"You're welcome," I said. "I hope you have fun with it as well as using it for school and homework."
I thought I heard a boyish snort when I'd mentioned school and homework, but I couldn't be totally sure.
"Well, I won't keep you any longer," Sarah said. "I just wanted you to know that your gift was very much appreciated."
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