Iomfats.org

Home | All about donating | Story Shelf | Stories for Special Days | Writing challenges | Writing Masterclass | Submitting A Story | Publishing on Amazon | Poetry Corner | Sex/Health Info | LGBT and Faith | About Me | Fear of Being Different | Odds & Ends | About the Site | Forum | What's New, What's Hot

You are here: Home > Story Shelf > All Authors > Josh > Sea Change | Josh | Chapter 28

Sea Change, Chapter 28 - Summer's End

By Josh

Though the room was bright with sunlight, I woke reluctantly. The bed felt luxuriously comfortable. The sheets were soft. I lay half on my stomach; my leg cocked under me. And most comfortable of all, Colin's long, slender body lay draped over mine; the light weight of his soft balls and flaccid cock lay comfortably on my butt, and his arm wrapped over my waist.

I looked at my watch. It was only nine, so I closed my eyes and drifted off again.

When I woke next, Colin had rolled away and lay on his stomach next to me. My watch showed ten thirty. I patted Colin's butt. "Hey, stud," I said. "It'll be check out time before long and Linda said they'd fix us breakfast."

Colin groaned, and opened one, resentful eye.

"What?" I said. "You should be happy today... now that you're a man." I winked.

"Shit, Sean," he said, groaning. "I don't think there's much left of what makes me a man. She wore it all out."

I laughed. "So did you have a good time?"

"Oh, hell yes," he said. "At least the first three times I came. But the fourth and fifth times, I started to get a little tired."

I laughed again and rubbed his back. "Way to go, little brother! You may measure up to me yet; but you still have a ways to go."

"Yeah, right."

"No, seriously," I said. "Daniel and I have gone for hours, first me coming, then him."

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, frowning, "I'd like to see either one of you make it five times with Janet. I mean... playing a whole football game, both ways, is easier. Come to think of it, she could probably handle a whole football team."

"That bad, huh?" I said, using the heel of my hand to rub deeper into his back muscles. "You didn't like it?"

"Oh hell yes, I liked it," he said. "But it sorta got to me after a while, you know. Maybe you can have too much at one time."

"Maybe. My personal record is seven times. You just need to build endurance," I told him. "Practice, practice."

Colin smiled. "Sure, coach. You gonna find me some more girls?"

"Janet's still here," I said. "Maybe she's waiting for you to come wake her."

He considered that, and then shuddered. "I need to rest."

"And I need to clean up," I said, rolling away. I sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake up."

"Damn, Sean," Colin said from behind me. I felt his fingers travel over my back. "How'd you get scratched up? Oh shit... did you and Linda..."

"Did she leave scratch marks," I asked, trying to look back over my shoulder.

"You didn't feel it?" he asked, disbelieving. "Just what'd you guys get into?"

I shrugged. "We sorta got carried away."

"You screwed her?" he asked, surprised.

"We screwed each other," I said. "We had fun, OK? No big deal."

His fingertips traveled my back again. "Yeah," he said. "I can see that."

I looked back over my shoulder at him. "She was still in bed with me when you came in last night."

"No shit? Really?" he asked. "Man, I'm sorry."

"No we were done. We were just sleeping."

"She wasn't here all night though, right?"

"No," I told him. "She left right after you got back."

"I'm sorry, dude," he said.

I lay back down and smiled. "To be honest, it was sorta cool when you came back," I said. "I told Linda about how I used to hold you when we watched horror movies as kids. And I told her something I never told you."

"Oh?" he said, propping up on an elbow.

I told him about Mrs. Kirkland and confessed to holding him for comfort after having sex with her the first time.

Colin nodded, knowingly. "Sorta the same thing last night for me, huh? The holding thing?"

"You tell me," I said.

"Yeah," Colin said, patting my stomach. "I was glad you were here. It was like coming home, you know? Thanks."

"I was glad, too," I said, stretching, enjoying the feel of Colin's hand on my stomach.

Colin grinned. "Linda, huh? Geez, Sean. You turning straight?"

I frowned and sat up. "I like Linda, Colin. But just because we got it on doesn't mean I'm going straight. Not any more than you messing around with me makes you gay. So don't jump to conclusions. I'm not going straight, OK?"

Colin rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about that one, and I got up from the bed. "How bad are the scratches?" I asked, turning my back to him again.

"Just red marks," Colin said, then he grinned. "Between the red marks and those hand drawings, you look like some little kid took after your back with red and black markers. You oughta wear a shirt for a while, especially back home. And Sean... I want to hear all about you and Linda on the way home."

"Yeah, well maybe I want to hear all about you and Janet," I said, heading for the john.

"Hey Sean, how come Daniel drew two different sized hands on your butt?"

I shrugged and called back over my shoulder. "Daniel's not the best artist."

. . . . .

I slumped in the stool and laid my head down onto the breakfast bar with a dramatic sigh. For ten minutes straight, Janet had been teasing me; claiming that I only pretended to be gay to pick up girls.

While I was slumped over, Colin came up behind me and lifted my shirt. "Look at this," he said. "They really got into it."

"Oh, hell," Janet said, her fingers lightly traversing my back. "Geez, Linda. How good was he?"

Linda, wearing an apron over her bikini and carrying a spatula, came around the counter.

"Oh, Babe," she said, tracing the scratch marks on my back. "Did I do that?"

"No," I said. "I did it myself, to pick up girls."

Linda kissed the marks on my back and wrapped her arms around my chest. "I'm sorry, Baby," she whispered.

"You didn't answer my question," Janet said. "Was he that good?"

I glanced back at Janet. Wearing only a string bikini, she had her arms crossed, waiting for an answer. The way her arms were crossed made her look topless.

"It's not important for you to know," I told her. "Linda's the only girl who'll ever know."

Linda hooted and patted my butt before heading back to the stove.

Janet cocked an eye.

"I really am gay, Janet. Look," I said. "I'll show you." Pulling my wallet from my back pocket, I pulled out my two school pictures of Daniel. "My boyfriend," I said. "Daniel."

Janet came up beside me and Colin took a stool on my other side.

"He's cute," Janet said, begrudgingly. "But how do I know he's not just a friend."

With a sigh, I fished inside my wallet and pulled out the picture Ryan took of us with Daniel's arms around me from behind; the one where we sat naked on Daniel's bed. I plopped it down on the counter.

Janet studied it and Linda came back around the counter to look over my shoulder. "You didn't show me that one," she said, reaching over to pick it up. She and Janet huddled over it. "This is beautiful. Who took it?" Linda asked.

"A friend," I said.

Colin stood to join them, the slightest of frowns passing over his face as he studied the picture.

"What are those other pictures?" Janet asked, picking my wallet up off the breakfast counter.

I reached for the wallet, but holding onto it, she turned away from me, pulling out the rest of the pictures; all that is, except for the photo of Ryan, Daniel, and me which was safely tucked away in a back fold.

"Who's this?" Janet said, pulling Stef's picture from the top. She handed the photo to Linda.

"That's Stef," I said. "We were best friends growing up."

"Stef?" Linda asked, raising an eyebrow. "The Stef?"

"The Stef?" Janet asked. "What does that mean?"

I nodded in answer to Linda's question. "Yeah, that's Stef." I took the photo from her. Good ol' Stef, I thought, looking him over.

"Are these twins?" Janet asked. "Or, are they both of the same guy?"

"Twins," I said. "We met them on our first bike tour, Daniel and I."

"So," Janet asked, studying Peter and Alan's pictures. "Are they gay, too?"

I shrugged. "Peter is, more so than Alan."

Janet turned a shrewd eye on me. "More than? Have you had sex with these guys."

Linda took the twins' photos from Janet and studied them. Colin's frowned deepened.

"None of your business," I said, reaching to take the rest of the pictures from her.

She held them out of my reach. "Who's this?" she asked, studying Jorge's picture, which was next on the stack.

"A friend I ran cross-country with this last year."

"Is he another one you've had sex with?" Janet asked.

I shrugged.

Colin took a sip of orange juice. "Yeah, I guessed about you and Jorge."

Linda reached around me and tried to take the pictures from Janet. "Let him have his pictures back, Janet."

Funny thing was, I wouldn't have minded showing the pictures to any one of them alone. But it was different with all three of them there, especially with Janet's surmises and Colin's frowns.

But Janet wasn't about to part with the pictures. She pulled away, taking Jorge's picture from the top. Colin's was next. "I recognize this one." She said. "At least I know he's not gay."

I tried hard not to show my relief that she didn't jump to the conclusion that Colin and I had messed around.

Colin leaned around me to see whose picture she was looking at. For the briefest moment, he froze, and then forced a smile. "If you have any doubts," he said, "we can step back into your bedroom again."

Janet smiled and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, shit, who's this guy?" Linda asked, taking Aaron's photo from the top of the stack in Janet's hand. "He's gorgeous. Please don't tell me he's gay."

I shrugged. "He's another friend, Aaron. And no, he's not gay."

Linda shot me a questioning glance, no doubt remembering what I had told her the night before. Colin caught the look. "Shit!" he said. "Aaron, too?"

Janet took the photo. "This guy? No way!"

"He's not gay," I repeated. "Not like you think. In fact, he's been after me for two years to 'do a girl' with him. I'm sure he'd be glad to audition you, Janet."

Janet looked me up and down slowly with a wicked smile, and then looked at Aaron's photo again and back at me.

Linda wrapped a possessive arm around mine.

Janet grinned and turned back to the photos, pulling my picture off the stack. "Your own picture?" she asked with a lopsided grin.

"Don't even go there," I warned. "I only carry that in case someone wants to trade photos."

Like a flash, Linda snatched my photo from Janet's hand. "I'll take it, then," Linda said. "I'll mail mine to you, Sean." Then she kissed the photo and tucked it into her top. She winked.

"I get Colin's," Janet said, grabbing his picture off the counter and blowing him a kiss. Then she looked down at the last picture, the one of Ryan. "Who's the kid?"

"Just a friend," I said quickly. "He used to come over a lot because I have aquariums and he likes them; and he likes guitar. He's older than he looks. He's just a year younger than Colin."

Colin frowned. "He's more like a year and a half younger."

I shrugged. "OK, a year and a half."

Colin rested his chin on his hand and both he and Linda eyed me speculatively.

. . . . .

After breakfast, Linda and I stepped out to the balcony to give Colin and Janet a few minutes alone to talk and say goodbye.

"I'm sorry Janet raided your pictures," Linda said, wrapping an arm around my waist as we looked over the railing.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't have minded showing them to you sometime privately. That is, unless it'd gross you out."

Linda ran her hand up under the back of my shirt and rubbed gently, turning toward me. "I'm not grossed out, Sean. I'm not exactly a virgin, you know. The truth is, I think it's sweet that you keep pictures of your... friends." She smiled. "It just tells me you aren't like most guys who'd be glad to screw a different girl every night and not care about them the next day."

I smiled gratefully.

She kissed my shoulder. "To tell you the truth, I was thinking of asking you a favor. Maybe a big favor."

"What?" I asked, wondering what she had in mind.

She wrapped her arms around my arm and put her nose close to mine. "Well, I was just wondering," she said. "San Antonio is so close to San Marcos and... and now don't get all worried that I'm getting a crush on you... well I am, but I obviously know you're gay, OK? Anyway I was just wondering if some weekend I needed a date, like for something special with my sorority, and if I didn't have a date... Well, it'd be so cool if I wanted to really impress everybody... I mean, you'd really impress them, Sean... "

"Sure," I said. "Just let me know when you need me."

She turned me from the railing and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me hard.

I kissed her cheek and she leaned back to look into my eyes. "Sean," she said, quietly. "If you ever want to make love with a girl again..."

She pressed herself to me and I slid my hands to her butt. "If it ever happens again," I told her, "I'd be cool with it."

"But you aren't going to do some other girl with Aaron, right?" she asked.

"No," I told her with a wink. "You're the only girl I'd do with Aaron."

She pushed me away with a frown.

"I'm sorry," I quickly said. "I meant it only as a joke." I put my arm around her shoulders and she let me pull her to me.

We stood there for a moment in the morning breeze. "Maybe," she said quietly, "I could take another look at his picture."

I chuckled. "Touché!"

After a moment, she stood up from my arms. "Let me see the picture of you and Daniel together again," she said. "I'm into photography, and I really do think it's a good picture."

I pulled out my wallet and handed the picture to her. She studied it. "Whoever took it has a good eye." She handed it back. "I've got my camera here," she said. "Before you go, let's take some pictures of all of us."

. . . . .

Linda had a Canon 35 mm SLR; which was a very good camera. First, she posed Colin and Janet together in a variety of friendly and romantic poses. She had Colin remove his shirt and in one picture, where Colin was hugging Janet from behind, his arms crossed over her bikini top in a way that made her look topless. Taken waist up from the side, I was sure the photo would look like they were both naked.

Then Linda had me take off my shirt too. She took pictures of Colin and me together, side by side, joking. Then she took one of us with an arm over each other's shoulders. Then she took one of Colin, standing behind me, his hands on my hip as he looked over my shoulder. When she told us to look serious, we laughed and she took the picture.

Then she handed the camera to Janet. Linda had evidently taught Janet how to work the camera, because she gave her very few instructions. Janet took our picture in a variety of poses, much like those Linda had taken of Janet and Colin.

"How many shots are left?" Linda asked.

Janet shrugged. "How can you tell?"

Linda stepped over and examined the camera. "Perfect," she said. "Just enough." Then she handed the camera back to Janet and came back to me.

When she stood in front of me, she removed her top, and with an amused smile, pressed her body to mine, her arms over my shoulder. I held her by the waist, and we kissed. Janet took a picture. Then we hugged closer and looked at the camera, our heads together. Janet took a second picture.

As Linda put her top back on, I watched Colin's eyes travel back and forth from Linda's breasts to Janet holding the camera. I could guess what was coming. So could Janet. She smiled, handed the camera to Linda, and took off her top. Then she embraced Colin, just as Linda had me. In their case, she had to reach up to wrap her arms behind his neck, and when they kissed, her breasts flattened visibly against his chest.

The last two shots, Linda saved for automatically triggered shots of the four of us, side by side, arms over shoulders and behind waists; guys shirtless, girls with tops.

After we checked out, we followed the girls to a store on the island that had one-hour developing and Linda paid for four sets of pictures so that we each would have a set. The clerk, a young guy, smiled knowingly as he saw the exposures.

Linda was a great photographer. Even the pictures Janet took of Linda and me were good because of the way Linda had set up the camera. I especially liked the one of Colin and me, with him looking over my shoulder, and both of us laughing. Linda had taken the shot from waist up, or rather from the tops of our low riding shorts, so it looked like we were naked. But it wasn't exactly erotic. It was a just a great photograph.

Linda paid to have enlargements made of that shot, for all of us. Then she paid for enlargements of the picture of her and me hugging when she was topless, and the one like it of Colin and Janet, so that we each had one of us.

We exchanged addresses, phones, hugs, and kisses, and parted from there.

. . . . .

Colin and I stopped at a curio shop as we left the Island. I wanted to buy a couple of things from the beach for Ryan to have when he was away at school; I just wasn't sure how I would get them to him.

"I figured out why there are two different sized hands drawn on your butt," Colin told me, as I looked over swimsuits.

I tried to ignore him.

"He's idolized you for a long time," Colin said.

Putting down the suit I had been looking at, I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "He's liked me a long time, and now he's sorta latched on to Daniel and me. But he's headed off to boarding school and we're headed off to college. The hands were a farewell kind of thing."

Colin nodded. "I can guess what kind of farewell," he said, walking off to another display table.

It was mid afternoon by the time we left the shop. I wanted to try driving to see if I could handle it for the hour to the house. Colin climbed into the front passenger seat, and as I drove, he grew quiet. I thought for a while that he'd gone to sleep.

But each time I glanced at him, I found him staring out the window.

"You OK, guy?" I finally asked.

He nodded.

I waited to see if he was going to say anything and when he didn't, my mind wandered to what I would tell Daniel about the weekend. And I tried to sort through my feelings about Linda; about having a close friend who was a girl. There was no doubt in my mind, Linda could become a close friend.

"Sean?" Colin stirred.

"Yeah?"

"You ever feel funny about having sex with all those guys?"

I glanced at him, trying to guess his thoughts, but he was facing out the window. "So are you thinking that I'm a major pervert now?" I asked

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"Are you still worried about being gay?"

"No," he said, shaking his head once more. "It's just that I feel, I don't know... not right... you know, about last night."

"Guilty?" I asked.

"Maybe," Colin said. "I guess I feel a little... dirty... that's not the word, but sorta wrong."

I nodded. I remembered how I felt a couple of times after sex. "I think I used to feel that way when I just had sex with someone to get my rocks off... you know, when I used somebody that way." I glanced at him to see if he understood. He seemed to. So I continued. "I know you think I'm like a major gay sex fiend, but I'm not really, Colin. Linda says I'm different." I shrugged. "Maybe I am. I like making love to someone I like. I never feel guilty about making love with Daniel."

I reflected on my own words, trying to decide if I had stated what I truly believed and had experienced. "In your case," I told Colin, "I felt guilty the first few times we did things. I didn't want to mess you up - I was afraid I would mess you up."

He nodded and looked out the window. "I felt guilty; afterwards, like what we did was maybe wrong. But I don't feel like that any more. Not really." He glanced at me with a sad smile. "It's different with you," he said. "It almost seems natural."

He looked back out the window. We were driving past a cotton field in full boll, but I don't think he noticed. "I'm not worried about being gay," He said quietly. "I like girls, a lot. And I like Janet." He thought a moment. "Maybe that's why I feel a little... guilty; because I liked Janet, but not that much."

"It could be," I told him, "that you feel like you do because of how Mom and Dad brought us up; you know, in church."

Colin leaned back in the seat. "Maybe," he said thoughtfully. "But I wasn't really thinking about God. I was thinking about the sex, the way we just had sex."

He stared out the window, and I tried to understand how he felt. "So are you thinking you won't have sex again until you're married?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Well," I told him. "You'll quit worrying about it after a while. Sex can be fun. I think you'll enjoy it."

He nodded.

. . . . .

He was quiet that evening, and I began to worry that I had exposed Colin to too much. It would have been a pretty intense weekend for any guy, but especially for a sixteen year old near virgin.

The next morning, Colin's bed was empty when I awoke. I found him in the shower when I hobbled in to brush my teeth. "How ya feelin'?" I asked.

He opened the shower door and flashed me a grin. "I feel good today."

As I brushed my teeth, he dried off. "I'm going to go over to Tommy's," he said. "I think I'll show him the pictures."

I spat out toothpaste and stood up, catching his eye in the bathroom mirror. "Colin," I warned. "You can't let those pictures out. We'd be in such deep shit."

Grabbing my towel, I hung it next to the shower door and turned on the water. "I need to show you a good place to hide the pictures," I said.

He stepped up to the counter and paused as he lifted a stick deodorant. "Yeah," he said. "Where have you been hiding those pictures of you and Daniel?"

I ignored his question. Then paused before entering the shower, and asked a question of my own. "You going to show him the one where it looks like you're playing cowboy on my butt?"

Colin gave me a lopsided smile. "Maybe not that one. But I already figured you'd show it to Daniel."

I hadn't thought about it, but, yeah, I probably would.

. . . . .

Colin had already left the house by the time I'd dressed. I still wasn't sure what to tell Daniel about the weekend, so it was easy to decide to wait until evening, when phone rates would be cheaper, to call him.

Instead, that morning I worked on Ryan's song. I'd been working on it for weeks, maybe months, and had the melody well worked out. But since the week before, when Daniel and Ryan and I were together, ideas for words had been coming to me. So I sat in my room with my guitar, trying to put it all together. And I toyed with the problem of getting the song and my gifts to Ry.

Dad called, and wanted to take me to lunch. He offered Luby's, a cafeteria I liked because they had excellent food, and lots of it. The bribe worked.

After I loaded my tray with fried fish, Waldorf salad, Mexican squash, mashed potatoes, a roll, and a slice of apple pie, Dad found us a table away from the crowd. As I ate, he nibbled and went over all the last minute things he thought I needed for school. We checked them off one by one. I scratched a few, like a raincoat and umbrella, and I reluctantly agreed to look for a couple that I still needed, like towels and sheets; we were sure that Mom wouldn't let me take any of hers.

Then Dad leaned back in his chair. "I wanted to spend more time with you this summer, Sean," he said. "At first, I put it off, trying to let you recover while I got some things done. And lately, you've been pretty busy."

Tell me about it, I thought, then suppressed a grin as I had a stray thought... that I had made August my National Sex Month. I would have to pass that thought on to Daniel. Hmm, maybe not.

"Men," Dad said, "aren't good about expressing our feelings. For example, I've done a pretty poor job of telling you how proud I am of you, Sean. Or, how much I love you."

"I love you, too, Dad," I said, almost automatically. And I did love him. There were certainly a few things I'd change about him, but I loved him.

He chuckled. "Yes, well, I appreciated my own dad a lot more once I had kids of my own. Someday," he said grinning, "maybe you'll realize how much I really do love you."

Then he stared off, and I knew where his mind had wandered. Unless Daniel and I could figure out how to mix our X's and Y's, I couldn't see that we'd be having any kids. Though, I liked kids.

Dad sighed and leaning back, shoved his hands into his pockets. He smiled at me kindly. "You impressed me, Sean, by how quickly you forgave Daniel. You could have stayed bitter a long time. You could have," he said, "stayed bitter all your life."

I poked at the mashed potatoes and glanced up at him, suspiciously. "Daniel and I are staying together, Dad."

Dad groaned. "I have to be so darn careful what I say to you about Daniel; sometimes Sean, you're just like your mom. You're both so stubborn and hard-headed that you're always on the defensive, especially if you think I am going to disagree with you about something."

"I'm not going to fight you. You already know how I feel, and you probably know everything I would say to try to help you work through this. I can still hope that someday you meet a girl who loves you, that you fall in love with her, get married, have a dozen kids..." then he smiled at me, " and learn what I've had to go through raising kids!"

His smile didn't fade, but he shook his head, sadly. "I hope by now you know that I like Daniel a lot. He's sharp, he's a good kid, and he's your friend. You may be close, your whole lives; you may not, but..." he held up his hand before I could protest, and he leaned forward again, lowering his voice once more.

"Sean," he said, "what I started out, trying to tell you, is that the way you've handled this summer, and especially your friendship with Daniel, has really impressed me. I'm proud of you... and grateful. I'm proud because you forgave Daniel, and at your age, I'm not sure I could have done that... Daniel behaved stupidly."

Dad held up his hand again before I could protest, but I wasn't going to. Daniel had behaved stupidly.

Dad smiled sadly. "You won't believe this, but I still do something stupid from time to time."

"No Dad, you?" I teased, but as I thought about it, I really couldn't think of anything he'd done that I'd call stupid.

He nodded, watching me. "I was stupid to leave you up there after meeting Jimmy."

I shook my head. "I knew you didn't like the idea, Dad, but you weren't going to talk me out of it."

Dad studied me. "I'm not sure whether you've always had the tendency, or if you're just getting wiser in your old age," he said. "But your ability to recognize the results of your own actions is one of your redeeming features, Sean. Maybe that's how you've forgiven Daniel; knowing it could have been you behaving stupidly."

I nodded and took a bite, thinking I could agree with that.

Dad leaned back, watching me, one eyebrow raised. "If you and Daniel are going to stay friends, there will be other times that you will need to forgive each other. And it may be even harder than it was this summer."

I considered that, and thought about Dad, and my hardheaded mom. "Do you have to forgive Mom sometimes?"

He grinned. "Not as much as she has to forgive me." His smile softened. "Your mom is strong. She's a very strong woman. She's smart. She's got opinions..." he shook his head with a sad smile, "boy does she have opinions. It isn't always easy to be her husband, but I feel blessed every day because I am." He looked me in the eye. "She's the most remarkable woman I've ever met, and I mean that, Sean. It just amazes me that I was the one lucky enough to marry her."

Well I loved my mother, but I don't think I would have ever felt "blessed" to be married to her. But if Dad felt about her the way I felt about Daniel...

"Sean," Dad said, leaning forward once more. "I said I was grateful that you forgave Daniel, and I want to tell you why." His face grew serious. "Bitterness is deadly, absolutely deadly. If Jimmy had succeeded in making you bitter, and if that bitterness darkened your heart, Sean, he would have crippled you far worse than stomping your knee did."

"But I am bitter," I said quietly. "I hate Jimmy's guts, Dad. I'm always going to hate his guts for what he did."

"But you haven't let it consume you," he said. "If you had, you would have never forgiven Daniel. I wonder," he said, "if things will ever be completely right between you and Daniel if you don't let go of your bitterness against Jimmy.

Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he sat thoughtfully. I poked at the apple pie, wondering whether I even wanted it anymore.

"Sean," he said, his gaze returning to me. "Some kids go off to college and, being out on their own for the first time, they go a little crazy. I'm not worried about you; we've always given you lots of freedom. In fact, I've been thinking that in your case, you'll have a chance to maybe do just the opposite of those kids when you go to college... you could quiet down, reflect a little. Think about what you want to do with your life."

I frowned.

"Don't take this the wrong way Sean," Dad said, shaking his head. "Don't start getting defensive again. I meant exactly what I said. I didn't mean 're-think being gay.' I meant, think about life in general; the things you want to do, the goals you want to have. Look, I'm sorry about you and Daniel not being in the same school this year. But that could give you a little time to think about things. Trinity is an excellent school, and for you, right now, I'm convinced it'll be better than UT." He held up both of his large hands before I could say anything.

"I know," he said, "that you probably think I let you down by not standing up to your mom on this, but the truth is, I liked the idea of Trinity and I still do, even if you and Daniel have worked everything out."

"I like Trinity," he said, "because it's a smaller, quieter, more intimate campus, and a better place to get over what you've been through. Besides, college is a big change; a smaller school will make handling the change easier. And of course," he said, crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair, "it's ideal for your physical therapy and close to your doctor. The academics are excellent, and I think you'll really enjoy working with that one professor, the writer. And," he added with a wink, "it's one hour closer to home."

"Does that mean you'll let Colin come up to see me?" I challenged, with a smile.

"Maybe," Dad said.

He leaned forward, pushing his plate aside, folding his hands over the table. Dad always had big hands, but it was the first time I noticed his knuckles being so large. I remembered my granddad, whose arthritic hands twisted in his old age, and I had a moment where I forgot about myself and worried about my dad. Was he getting old?

"Sean," he said. "You're going to do a lot of learning in college, and probably a lot of thinking about life anyway. I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm always going to remind you... I want you to remember God. He loves you Sean, and he's looked after you all your life. I'm going to be praying every day that he keeps looking after you."

"Thanks, Dad," I said with mixed emotions. If there was a God, I wasn't sure how closely I wanted him watching what I'd be up to. But Dad was Dad. He had prayed for me every day since I'd been born. I couldn't very well ask him to stop.

"I've been praying that you'll run cross-country again soon," he said. "I know there are other things more important, but that seems important, too."

Of all the people who knew me, it was Dad who understood best how much I had gotten into running. How much I wanted to run again.

"Now, Sean," he said with a sad smile. "You can get defensive because... well there's one other thing I want you to keep an open mind on."

I frowned, but he pressed on. "There will be lots of girls up there. You could meet a nice one."

I shook my head and looked away.

"You're young, Sean," he said. "Lots of things can happen."

Poor Dad, I thought. He's too smart to be so dense; his heart's in the way. He didn't want me to be defensive, but I knew my being gay would always be a thorn in his side. His resistance would always be a thorn in mine. I sighed.

"It isn't gonna happen, Dad," I said, then without thinking... "Funny thing, though. I already met a nice girl, at the beach last weekend. She goes to San Marcos. She's different from other girls, and I think we'll be friends, but just friends, Dad."

I didn't know why I mentioned Linda. Maybe I felt sorry for Dad. Maybe I told him simply because it was nice having a new friend, and a girl friend at that. Maybe I told him because quietly, in my heart of hearts, the thought had come to me on the trip home from the beach, that if I ever did want to marry a girl, I had already met her. For whatever reason, I think I mentioned Linda because I thought Dad might be pleased. But the last thing he needed was false encouragement.

He smiled.

"Don't go thinking anything is changing, Dad."

He laughed. "Life's always changing, Sean. And friendships have a way of changing too. I'm just glad you still know how to talk to girls."

"Yeah, well, that's why Linda, the girl I met at the beach... that's why she's different. I actually can talk to her. Most of the time, talking to a girl just means letting them do all the talking."

Dad tossed his head back and roared.

. . . . .

When Colin's best friend, Tommy, stopped by the house that afternoon with Colin, he was all smiles and poking elbows. "Damn I wish I'd been there," he said. "Next time you guys take me, too."

"I don't know, Tommy," I said. "Have you ever had an erection? I mean, like do you know what a dick is for?"

He gave me a shove.

"Come on, Tommy," Colin called as he headed toward the door. Then he grinned my way. "We're going over to Rey's house." My guess was that he'd tucked the pictures back under his clothes.

"Colin," I raised a warning eyebrow.

"Relax," he said as they headed out. "I didn't show Tommy the orgy pictures."

"Orgy pictures?" Tommy asked, tugging on the back of Colin's shirt.

Colin stopped at the door and wriggled his eyebrows at me.

Well, I thought. At least he's feeling good again.

. . . . .

Before supper, we stepped out to toss a football. I couldn't run, but Colin needed to get his arm in shape. Two-a-day practices were only going to last a week that year. The shorter practice season was a reaction to a couple of heat related deaths of high school football players the year before. This summer would be the only one they ever shortened the practice season for, but I was grateful since it had allowed me to take Colin to the beach.

But now Colin needed practice passing.

We tossed the ball for over an hour, while he gave me a run down of reactions to the pictures. Though he swore that only a couple of his best friends had seen them, it sounded like Colin was a new cult hero for his age group. And I was everybody's ideal for an older brother.

"Heather really liked the one of you kissing Linda," he told me. "She thought it was 'sweet.'"

"Shit, Colin!" I gasped. "Are you telling me you showed those pictures to girls?"

"Just a couple." Then he smiled, slyly. "Heather whispered to me that she wants a date."

I shook my head. "I can see that those pictures are going to be a bad influence on a whole generation."

He laughed and carried the ball over to me. "I sure hope so," he said.

We sat outside, side by side on the patio wall, and talked about the pictures, the fishing, the girls, and the fun we'd had that weekend reminiscing together.

He wrapped his arm over my shoulder. "Man, just when it's gotten really, really cool to be together, you've got to head off to college."

I put my arm behind his waist and tugged him my way. "You can always come visit me."

"Hey," he leaned back, smiling. "There'll be lots of college girls up there."

I showed Colin how to hide his pictures inside the under covering of his bed's box springs, but not before we looked them over again.

He held up his copy of the enlargement of my favorite shot of him and me, laughing. "You going to put this up in your room at Trinity?"

"Of course," I told him. "But I'll switch it out for one Linda took of you and Janet anytime you're going to be up for a visit. Then I'll invite lots of girls to the room to get them interested in you."

He laughed.

. . . . .

"You what?" Daniel asked, raising his voice.

I had tried to ease into it, but as soon as he recognized where it was going, Daniel reacted; and reacted much more strongly than I had expected. So I lay back on the bed and took a deep breath.

"Well the good news," I said, "is that Colin's not worried about being gay any more."

"Don't try to change the subject," Daniel said. "Tell me what happened."

So I told him. In detail... well the important details. I tried to explain how guys had treated Linda badly. "You know how guys can be, especially if a girl is a little... plain. She's even had therapy, Dan. It seemed so wrong to reject her and it seemed so right to go with the flow. It just happened, but it was a good thing."

Daniel was quiet.

"It was a rescue," I told him. "Honest."

"Don't shit me, Sean. I know you... lifetime lovers, remember," he said. "You like her. It's obvious. And frankly, it's a little scary, you doing girls again."

"I'm gay, Dan. We settled that two years ago."

"And you fought it."

"And you settled it for me. Being with you settled it for me. I love you," I told him. "And if you make it to San Antonio this weekend, I'll fuck the shit out of you, just to prove it."

"If you remember how," I heard him say with a sigh. "It's bad enough, Sean, that I have to worry about you falling in love with other guys. Don't fall in love with girls, too."

"OK, Mr. Sample-boys-like-chocolates," I said, annoyed. "Let's be real honest. Have you said 'goodbye' to Scott yet?"

"We agreed," he said in an even voice, "that we could do that; say good bye to friends that way."

"So why are you pissed about Linda?"

"Because," he said, then paused. "Because you've never liked a girl like this before, and if you decide you're straight..."

"I'm not," I insisted, beginning to get pissed.

"Sean," he said quietly. "I almost lost you, and I promised myself that I'd never take you for granted again. I'm sorry if I'm worried about nothing. Just let me be a little possessive, OK?"

I smiled into the phone receiver. "Maybe I like you being a little possessive."

. . . . .

Colin came into the room not long after that. He had used the phone in Mom and Dad's room to call and talk to Heather on the other line, while I talked to Daniel.

He plopped onto his bed, then propped his head on his elbow and gave me a shit-eating grin. "Heather and me are going to start going out," he said. "I think the picture did it; the one of me and Janet." He leaned my way and whispered. "I think she wants it. And," he leaned even farther toward me. "I'm pretty sure she's a virgin."

On the one hand, I was glad for Colin. Not only did he know he wasn't gay, but he seemed to be relaxing about girls. On the other, he was not only losing his innocence, he was likely to lose more than that.

"Colin," I told him. "Remember that Janet was on the pill. Heather won't be. Do you carry condoms?"

He shrugged. "I'll try to get some."

"Oh, man, Colin," I said. "You gotta be careful. You remember Larry Wright? He was gonna be such a big football stud at A&M? Got a girl pregnant and now he's dropping out? You'll really, really screw things up if you get Heather pregnant."

"OK, OK," he said. "I'll get some."

I wanted to be sure he was careful. "I think we go get some now," I said.

I told my parents we were going out for sodas at Dairy Queen, and then hauled Colin to the late-night pharmacy where I bought a box of condoms. The guy behind the counter looked down his nose at me, and I figured he either knew my dad or knew somebody who did. I didn't give a shit.

When we got back into the Bronco, I shoved the box at him. "From now on, carry one in your wallet, or, since you're such a stud, carry two. But use them."

As we drove back to the house, Colin lifted the box to examine it.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Colin," I told him.

He cocked his head. "You ever use one of these with a guy?" he asked.

"Why the hell would you do that?" I asked. "You can't get a guy pregnant, dickhead."

"It says here on the box 'For prevention of disease.' Can you catch anything from a guy?"

"Well, yeah," I said. "I guess you can. But I'm not going to catch anything from Daniel, or the guys we've messed around with." Then I gave him a playful punch on his shoulder. "Of course, if you're going to be fucking girls all the time, maybe I ought to worry about you."

It was a conversation that I would later remember many times.

Back at the house, I dried my mouth after brushing my teeth and glanced to where Colin stood at the toilet. He pulled down the waistband of his briefs to piss. We both had stripped to our underwear for bed. Colin always looked good in briefs. I imagined him with Heather.

"You like her?" I asked.

"Heather?" He asked in return, and then shrugged. "Yeah, I do. She's got a fine body, Sean. And she's really pretty. And damn, she's hot."

Well, I thought, going down the same list for Linda. Not really a fine body, not really pretty, not really hot. "Sounds like Heather has all the important stuff," I said, not hiding a trace of sarcasm.

"Hey," he said, shaking off and releasing the waistband of his briefs. "Tell me you don't think the same things about Daniel." He turned and cocked an eyebrow.

"No fair," I said.

He smiled.

"You going to ever forgive Daniel?" I asked.

He shrugged while washing his hands and got out his toothbrush. "I don't know, Sean. And to be honest, I don't understand how you can. I mean, Daniel's not the only other gay guy out there. You're not stuck with him."

"I never thought I was stuck with him," I answered while Colin started to brush his teeth. "At least not the way you mean. But maybe I am stuck with him." I touched the middle of my chest with my index finger. "Stuck here... I know it sounds mushy and stupid, but it's real Colin. We belong together and we both know it."

Colin cocked his head and studied me in the mirror. He spat out toothpaste. "There are times when you sound so much like a girl," he said. Then he studied his face in the mirror. "So does that mean I'm stuck with Daniel always being around?" he asked.

"Yep," I said.

"Well," he said, drying his face. "If you don't care what he did to you, it doesn't make much sense for me to worry about it."

"I care, Colin," I said, correcting him. "But I've forgiven him."

Colin shook his head and headed past me back into the bedroom. "I'll try too."

"Thanks, Colin," I told him, following him into the room.

He pulled the box of condoms out from under the bed and opened it, pulling out the linked packages. "What is it like?" he asked, reaching into his briefs to adjust himself. "What's it like using one of these?"

"I never needed to use them much, and it's been a long time," I said with a shrug. "I don't know. It's OK, I guess."

"I've never even had one on," he said, trying to see through the packages.

"Try one," I said. "Try one on."

He nodded, standing slowly, examining the little wrappers as he stepped over to the door and locked it. Then he pulled off his briefs in one motion. Still studying the package, Colin returned to his bed, his erection climbing above horizontal. He sat down on the edge, opened a wrapper, and pulled out the condom. "How do you put it on?" he asked. "You roll it, right?"

I sat beside him. "Yeah, you just roll it on."

He placed it over the end of his cock and tried to roll it down.

"Wrong way, Brain," I said. "Be sure to put it on the right way or you'll transfer little swimmers when you turn it over."

He turned the condom over and tried again, this time rolling it easily down his shaft. Once he had it on, he leaned back on his elbows and looked at it, his cock pointing straight up his belly, bright red within the condom.

He jacked it.

"Well?" I asked.

"Hard to know," he said, "without trying it on something... or someone." He wriggled his eyebrows at me.

"I thought you were straight," I teased.

"Yep, I am," he answered, confidently. "Now shut up and take off your underwear." He glanced at the growing bulge in my briefs. "You're up for it," he said with a smile.

I turned out the light in our bedroom, but left the one on in the bathroom, closing the door far enough to allow only a small amount of light into the room. Then I pulled off my briefs, put a pillow in the middle of the bed for my butt, and laid back on it. Colin and I had rarely done face-to-face, but I wanted to watch him. I wanted to watch the condom. I was just as interested in seeing how it felt as he was.

The condom was a self-lubricating kind. However, as Colin stood beside my bed, stroking himself, I worried that he might stroke the lube right off. But I didn't want to stop him. Colin was so slender, and his cock so big...

He knelt up onto the bed, moving on his knees up to my butt. I pulled my knees up and out to the side, trying to lay them out flat to the sides, making me flat down there, like Ry did for me.

Holding his cock in one hand, Colin searched for my hole, found it, and began to press in. I pulled my knees ever farther up my sides, opening to him. He filled me slowly, taking his time, watching my face to gauge his progress. And then I felt his balls drape my butt.

The condom didn't feel that different to me, except at my opening. Colin started to move, pulling himself out, pushing in. He leaned forward, resting on his hands over me, and I watched his face.

He squinted as he tried to measure the feel.

"How is it," I asked.

"Sorta weird," he said. "I don't really like it."

"Well," I pointed out. "It is different when you're actually making love and not trying to feel everything though your dick."

He bit his lip and pumped harder, banging into my bottom bones with his pelvis. He nodded. "That feels better."

He closed his eyes, pumping, his mouth working unconsciously as he concentrated on the feelings below.

"You can take if off, you know," I said. "Now that you've tried it."

He thought about that. Taking off the condom would mean that he wasn't just screwing me to see how the condom felt.

I rubbed his shoulders and arms. "You still won't be gay," I said, then grabbed his biceps and moaned as he hit a good spot.

He smiled and supporting himself on one hand and his knees, pulled out, pulled off the condom, and then re-entered me slowly. Once he was all the way back in, he returned to supporting his weight over me on his hands. I held his biceps as he moved in me. He had good arms. He moved and I moved to meet him. He felt damn good inside.

Our eyes met. He smiled tentatively, still concentrating on the feelings. I smiled slightly, too. And then his thrusts slowed, and his eyes grew earnest, traveling over my face. "I'm going to miss you," he said, quietly.

I almost knew what he was going to say, before he said it; the way his eyes traveled, almost lovingly over my features. And seeing that, I felt similar feelings stir my own heart. I nodded. "Yeah," I said hoarsely. "Me too. A lot."

Colin paused in his thrusting and lay down on me, the weight of his slender body settling comfortably on mine. He wrapped his arms under me. Then he squeezed me tightly in his arms while pushing in deeply with his cock in almost a three-point embrace; his body, squeezing mine. And while he held me tightly, he nuzzled behind my ear.

I turned my head, pressing my cheek to his, and wrapped my arms over his back. My knees came up, almost reflexively and I wrapped my good leg over the back of his and hugged him just as tightly.

We stayed that way a long time before Colin began to kiss the side of my face. I turned my face to him, and our lips met. Other than when I taught him to kiss, we never kissed. But tonight, our mouths met, and we kissed, at first, tenderly. But the kiss stirred me, and my cock twitched between our bodies.

Colin felt it, and ground into me.

The kiss grew deeper, and I wondered, idly, if for all our differences, Colin and I weren't still a lot alike. I knew we'd each inherited a strong ability for love and affection from my dad, and I wondered if Colin, like me, felt love when he made love. If so; if what he felt for me in that moment matched what I felt for him, my brother... I squeezed him tightly again and Colin pressed his mouth hard to mine.

Colin set the pace; a very slow pace. We kissed and moved together. Our bodies were much alike, though his torso was even longer and more slender. He felt damn good in my arms, and even, inside me. The weight of his taut belly rubbed over my cock with his movements and he knew it felt good for me. He rubbed me that way on purpose, even as he moved in and out of me.

I stroked and caressed his back, sides, and kneaded his butt. And I moved to meet him, so that his thrusts hit solid and deep. And through it all, we kissed.

We kissed passionately, while Colin pounded hard. We kissed tenderly when he stroked my cheek with his fingers and his thrusts slowed. Our mouths opened wide and we explored each other's mouths as our bellies heaved together and we moved steadily toward our climaxes.

I wasn't entirely sure what was happening, and had no idea whether Colin did, but we went far beyond "messing around" that night. My brother and I made love.

Neither of us hurried, but finally, the sensations were too much. I arched up under Colin, pressing myself up against his taut belly, and came copiously between our bodies.

Colin increased his pace and came shortly after I had, stifling his moans in my neck. We relaxed slowly and Colin nuzzled once more into my cheek. His weight still felt good on me, and his body, all muscle and sinew in my arms, kept me hard. I wondered for a moment if he might be enough like me to want to go more, but then dismissed the idea. What we had just had was amazing, special. I wouldn't want to take away from it.

And then Colin kissed under my ear and moved his hips in a long, slow thrust. He was still hard.

I smiled to myself, and moved to meet his next thrust.

. . . . .

When we finished the second time, Colin pulled out, but stayed laying on me, moving up so that our cocks lay side-by-side, pressed between our bellies. We relaxed, and our breathing grew regular. Just before I fell asleep, I felt him kiss me lightly behind my cheek and snuggle on to me.

He got out of bed before me in the morning, but I felt him pat my butt as he climbed from bed, so I figured we were still cool. Through the day, he acted normal, almost happy, and neither of us mentioned the night before.

. . . . .

"I think it's good," I told Daniel on the phone the next evening, "that I'm going off to school. For Colin's sake."

"Why's that?" Daniel asked.

So I told him about the night before.

"Sounds like it was intense," Daniel said.

"Well, it was, sorta. I mean, my little brother loves me and I'm about to leave home to go to for college."

"You sure your little brother hasn't fallen in love with you?" Daniel asked quietly.

"Nah, not like you mean. He's my brother. And he's straight."

Daniel didn't say anything.

"Well," I said with a sigh. "Like I said. It's probably good I'm heading off to college."

"Geez, Sean, even your brother," he said with a sigh. "Can't you just mess around without making it a big lovemaking session?"

I thought about that. "Not if I have a choice," I told him.

. . . . .

"I've got to see you again," Ry said when he called the next morning. "We're leaving tomorrow, Mom's driving me up to the new school. I want to see you one last time."

"I'd like to see you too, Ry," I said. "I've got something for you, but I don't know how we can manage it."

"Behind your shed?" he asked. "This afternoon?"

I'd forgotten about that. The weather was hot, but it could work. Of course, behind the shed meant he wanted to make love. After the previous week, and then Linda, and then Colin, I was ready for a sex-rest, especially before I saw Daniel again. But how could I say no to Ry? He belonged to us now. We had told him that. "Sure. About 2:00?" I asked.

I spread out a blanket in the small amount of shade that fell from the shed. And with it, I had a pillow, my guitar, and his gifts all ready for when Ry climbed over the fence. But he noticed none of those things as he lunged for my arms.

We stood together in a tight embrace, holding each other. And I rocked him in my arms. Then, just like always, the feel of his smaller body in my arms aroused me. We grew hard against each other, my cheek pressed to his hair, our chests heaving together. And then we kissed, passionately, and he started to climb up me, wrapping his legs around my hips.

"Geez, Ry, the knee," I gasped as pain shot up my leg.

"Oh, damn, Sean!" He gasped, dropping his legs. "I'm sorry. I forgot."

I held him tightly while the pain ebbed. "I'm OK," I said, reassuringly. Then, I kissed him.

He relaxed when he knew that I wasn't hurt, and pressed his body once again against mine. His tongue hungrily probed my mouth and I probed his, my arms around his back, his cock pressing against my hip. I loved the feel of his smaller body. And I loved Ry. Every time I was with him, I realized how much I had missed him.

And then, I undressed him.

. . . . .

I held him in the crutch of my arm when we were done, and rubbed his cum over his flat tummy, like lotion.

He smiled and stared at my mouth as he traced my lips with a fingertip. "I wish I wasn't going. I wish you weren't going," he said. "You could get an apartment for college down here, and I could move in with you."

I smiled. "Yeah, right. Your parents would really go for that. But it'll be soon enough, Ry." I said softly. "You'll come to UT and move in with Daniel and me and we'll paint fresh hand prints on your butt every day."

He smiled, sweetly, his eyes moving up brightly to mine. "They still show. I checked the mirror this morning."

"Geez," I said, pulling him by his hip to me. "I hope you haven't let anyone else see them."

He kissed his fingertip, and then pressed it once more to my lips. "Austin saw. He wanted to know what they were. I told him I drew them on."

I laughed.

"At first, I think he believed me," Ry said, "till he tried to figure out how to do it himself. Now he wants to know who drew them."

"You tell him?"

Ryan frowned. "No." He frowned. "Sometime, maybe. But it's special, you know?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know."

No one had lips like Ry's. Soft, sweet... a boys lips. I had to kiss them. And when I did, Ry snuggled into me.

We lay like that, cooling in the shade of the shed, lightly stroking each other's bodies.

"I am going to go to UT," he said, drawing his fingertips down my arm. "And I am going to stay with you."

"I'm counting on it," I said.

"Really?" he asked, probing my eyes with his. "You aren't just... humoring me? You and Daniel?"

"No, ya nut!" I told him. I kissed his cheek, lightly. "We're friends, Ry." I said. "We have a lot in common. And," I pulled him tighter, "the way our bodies fit..."

"It's perfect," he said. "We're made for each other."

I smiled. In a way, he was right.

He wiggled into me. "We'll get an aquarium when I move in with you guys," he said, with growing enthusiasm. "Maybe two; a fresh water and a salt water."

"That'd be cool," I agreed.

"You keep practicing guitar," he told me. "And write more songs. We can form a band."

I laughed. "You'd have to carry the load," I told him. "Lead guitar and base."

Ryan laughed. "But we both sing."

He smiled; he was happy. His eye dilated widely as he looked up into mine, and I felt my heart do the same. I hugged him hard. I had to.

"I have a couple of gifts for you, Ry," I whispered.

"Oh?" he asked, and hugged me back.

"One's the song that I've been working on for you. I can play it on the guitar later, but right now, I can sing it to you."

"Sing it to me," he said with a sigh and kissed my neck.

So I sang it, softly, next to his ear. And he cuddled into me, stroking my side and hip while I held his body close to mine.

He fell asleep against me, and I held him there and dozed along with him in the warmth of the afternoon.

. . . . .

"Well yeah, doing Ryan was OK," Daniel said on the phone that night. "Did he like the song?"

"Oh yeah," I answered. "I'd written it on paper and played it on the guitar for him. Then he played it, much fancier, of course. And I gave him some stuff I bought at the beach... a shark tooth necklace, a dark sand dollar, a couple of shells, and a swimsuit."

"A swimsuit?" Daniel asked.

"Well you and I each have those special swim briefs you bought. I thought Ry ought to have a pair too. I guessed at the size, but I guessed pretty good. It was a little loose on him, but not in the crotch."

"I bet he looked hot," Daniel said.

"Sizzling," I said. "Speaking of swim briefs, I may pass mine on to Colin. They're almost two years old now and don't fit like they used to, and Colin loves them. He figures they're a magical chick magnet."

"Or guy magnet," Daniel replied. "Wasn't it after seeing you in that suit that Aaron took you out and raped you."

"It was after the suit, but he didn't rape me you asshole. Geez, I hope no one ever listens at the door when I'm on the phone with you."

"And you're sure you and Colin have the only extension for this line."

"Of course."

"Well in that case, I can tell you that I want to suck your cock so hard your ears pop."

"Promises, promises," I said, and then I thought of Ry that afternoon because I had sucked him off before he left. First, I licked his belly, tangy with sweat and come, and cleaned him with my tongue. His thick cock lay on his belly, pointing downhill because his belly sunk when he lay on his back. And when I buried my face between his legs, I was almost intoxicated with his scent; his own, unique scent... a blend of boy and youth, and after our sex... male. "You sure it was OK that I was with Ry?"

There was a pause. "Let me guess," he said. "You're going to sneak over there tonight."

"Close," I said. "He wanted me to, but I told him 'no way' with his parents there. And I told him 'no way' for here either. So we're both going to sneak out and meet behind the shed at midnight."

"Hug him for me," Daniel said quietly. "And have him hug you for me, too. I wish I could be there."

"Only a few more days," I said. "Are you and your parents still planning on coming to SA this weekend?"

"Oh, yeah," Daniel answered. "Probably on Sunday. Will your dad still be up there?"

"Yeah, maybe Colin too. I'm not sure about trying to drive that far with the knee so Colin's going to drive the Bronco. We're staying at my grandparents on Saturday night, and then Dad and Colin will head back."

"Roger was hoping," Daniel said, "that we could all meet for breakfast or lunch before they head back. And then we can help you set up your room. We might even stay over a night or two. We can do stuff when you aren't in classes."

"Orientation," I corrected. "No classes for a couple of days. And yeah, that sounds really good!" I told him. "But I don't know if we can do anything together in the dorm. I might have a roommate showing up."

"Not to worry," he said, "Roger's putting us all up in a hotel."

. . . . .

We were on our sides in the moonlight. I had Ry in my mouth and he had me in his. A gentle evening breeze caressed our bodies as we moved languidly, using fingertips to love and caress while we sucked almost casually, like babies sleeping with pacifiers.

I was thinking about how strange my life had become. I had begun the summer, all beaten up and lonely. And now, when I wasn't tired, there were times life seemed almost abundant.

And it wasn't simply because of the sex. For pure orgasm count Daniel and I easily had more on our first bike tour. And the sex was better, far better when it was just the two of us.

But life seemed abundant because of my friends and my family. Well maybe not Mom. But I wouldn't trade Colin for all the brothers in the world. And Dad was cool. I really did like my little sister. Things were great with Daniel again, though I missed him. And there was Ry, and Aaron, and Jorge, and Stef... they liked me... maybe even loved me. And I loved them. Hell, I even had my first girl friend. And as long as I didn't think about my knee, life seemed good.... at least those last few days before I left for school.

Once school started, things would be different; lonely. Ry would be on the East coast. Aaron and Jorge would be down home. Stef would be three hundred miles to the north. And even Daniel would be over an hour away. Ironically, Linda would be the closest since San Marcos lay between San Antonio and Austin.

I wrapped my arms around Ry's waist and took him deeply into my throat. I wanted him close. I wanted to take care of him. My dear, dear, Ry. I relaxed my throat as well as I could, and took him until my nose pressed his scrotum. And then I had a funny thought. I thought it would be fun if by sucking I really could make his ears pop.

Ry called in the morning before he left and gave me the address and phone for the school. My mind was on him a lot that day as I did my own final packing. The house was quiet; everyone was away, doing something. And it was hard not to be sad. So I was glad when Aaron showed up.

"Where is everybody?" he asked as I continued packing.

"Dad's at work. Mom and my sister are shopping for school clothes. Colin's off with Tommy somewhere."

"Oh?" he said, coming up behind me. I expected him to ask about Colin, but instead, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his crotch to my butt. "We're alone."

There was no way I was going to let him get me into something, partly because I had no idea when anyone would be home, partly because I had sex with Ry the day and night before, and partly because I wasn't sure how Daniel would feel about me getting it on with Aaron again. Daniel might be "saying goodbye" to every guy in Houston, but he had begun to sound exasperated with my "goodbyes."

"We're alone, but we aren't going to do anything," I said. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to step from his arms. He felt good behind me. And then he slid his hands down over my crotch.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Tomorrow," I said, standing up and leaning back against him. His chest and shoulders felt strong against my back. I felt my willpower start to evaporate. "I'm going up a couple of days early because it works out better for Dad and Colin to be able to help. My knee's still not up to driving that far."

"Come stay with me at the ranch tonight," Aaron said, chewing my ear.

"I can't," I told him. "It's my last night at home with my family."

He shoved his hands into my pants, and closed his hand over my growing erection. "Jorge's out of town," he whispered. "It will just be you and me."

"That's not being very fair to Jorge," I said, my voice hoarse, as I reached behind to clasp Aaron's butt to pull him to me.

"He knows," Aaron said. "He asked before he left if I was going to try to get you out to the ranch. I told him 'yeah.'"

He turned me around in his arms and pulled my belly to his, bending me back to kiss my lips. "We can be by ourselves, just you and me," he said, his breath hot on my face. "It's our last chance for who knows how long." Then, he grabbed my butt with both hands and pulled us hard together. He sucked on my throat and groaned. "Oh, damn, I want you."

I was close to coming in my pants before I finally got him to leave so I could get more packing done. And he left only when I agreed to be ready to leave with him for the ranch in two hours time.

It would be OK, I decided, even after the swelling went down in my pants. Colin already mentioned a date for that evening. And I could spend time visiting with Dad on the trip up tomorrow. My little sister didn't care, and I wasn't sure Mom would want time together anyway.

However, I worried that Dan would try calling me, my last night at home. So I called him first. He was out. I told Mary to give him the message that I'd be at the ranch that night. I figured hat would be better than just saying I'd be out. Daniel had a good imagination. And of course, I didn't need to mention that Jorge wouldn't be there.

It was just after four in the afternoon when Aaron picked me up, and the afternoon was still hot when we arrived at the ranch. We stepped from the truck, and Aaron wasted no time. There was only one thing on his mind right then, and to be honest, only one thing on mine.

He came around to my side and hoisted me up, piggyback, and then carried me into the cabin and in to the bedroom. We opened the windows, but it was still hot in the room. We undressed, watching each other, watching our cocks spring up when released, watching muscles work under skin as we took off shirts and pants and briefs.

I lay down on the bed and rolled to my back as Aaron pulled off his socks. Then he lay down on me, settling between my legs. Sweat covered our torsos, and made our bodies slick. We moved slowly in the heat, kissing, growing harder.

Aaron pinned my arms over my head, kissing first my lips and then my chin. He chewed and licked my neck, licking salt from the roots of the hair behind my ear. He licked down the front of my throat, moving his large hands down my arms, holding my biceps down as his mouth moved to my nipples.

The smooth skin of his hard chest slid down my cock pressing me, making me even harder. He backed farther down, onto his knees, and my cock throbbed when the weight of his torso lifted. With both hands under my butt, he lifted my crotch, rubbing his face into my balls and between my legs. I groaned and tightened my belly and cock as he worked.

He pressed his face against my perineum, and then down into my crack, licking, tonguing, rimming. And then he lowered my hips, setting my butt back down on the bed. Reaching under my thighs, he carefully lifted and spread my legs as he moved forward on his knees, his cock coming closer to my butt. He leaned forward, pushing up my legs, carefully pushing behind my good knee, and the stretching felt good. I felt his cock probing my butt. Then he found me, and filled me, and then laying my legs out to the side, he bent all the way over onto me, folding my body in his. And it struck me that my body fitted his, almost like Ry's fitted mine. And then I understood better how I turned him on. And I understood better how I turned Ry on.

He rested on me afterward, our sweat drying in what late afternoon sea breeze made it through the window. We hadn't said a word since stepping from the truck. We hadn't needed to. Aaron's breathing was regular, and his weight on me felt good. Even the heat felt good. And like Aaron, I fell asleep.

We had bathed in the cattle tank and eaten sandwiches for supper. Now we sat in the twilight, sipping beer on opposite sides of the pickup bed; Aaron's back against one tire well and my back against the other. We sat so that we each had our toes under the other guy's balls. And we idly sipped beer while we lifted and teased each other's balls.

Aaron grew hard as I told him about Linda and the weekend at the beach, and Colin and Janet. He was interested enough that he didn't bother to get another beer when he finished the one he was on. I used the bottom of my foot to rub the underside of his thick cock while I told him about the pictures we took.

"Let's go find a girl," he said. "I've always wanted to do a girl with you. Let's go find one."

"Nah," I said, rubbing him with my foot. "Let's just take it easy. Like you said earlier, it's our last chance to be alone together for a while. Besides," I said, stretching in the cooling breeze. "It's getting nice. Let's just relax."

"I know a girl who'd take us both on,' he said. "We can bring her back here or go park somewhere."

"No, Aaron, just take it easy."

He frowned. "Come on, Sean. We need to do it."

"Need to?" I asked.

"Yeah, we just need to," he said.

I cocked my head, studying him. He wasn't looking at me, but rather, down at the bed of the pickup. Something in his tone sounded... troubled. "You suddenly worried about being gay?" I asked.

His frown deepened. "Maybe, just a little." Then he shrugged. "Hell, I don't know. Maybe I want to be gay." He smiled and pressed his foot on my perineum. "At least with you and Jorge in my harem."

"Well," I said, stretching again. "You can always screw a girl or two from time to time, just to keep both doors open."

"That's just it," he said. "That's why I want you along."

"What do you mean?"

He glanced nervously at me, then out the back of the truck. "Sounds stupid," he said.

"What?"

He sighed. "After all summer, just screwing you and Jorge... I'm not sure I can get it up for a girl any more."

"Ha!" I snorted. "You'll still get it up. Hell, even I got it up."

"That's why I want you along," he said.

"What, so I can screw the girl if you can't?" I asked with a chuckle.

"No," he said quietly. "So you'll get me hard if the girl doesn't."

I set down my empty bottle and scooted over to kneel over his lap, bending my knee carefully. I smiled and stroked back his hair. "You'll get it up just fine for a girl, ya big stud. You'll see. But tonight," I said, leaning forward, pressing my growing erection against his. I looked into his eyes. "Tonight, make love to me, Aaron... all night. You dragged me out here, and now you've gotta make good on it!"

He wrapped his arms around me and rolled me to my back, moving over me, pressing his mouth to mine, his body to mine. And then he took me, the way he needed to, the way I wanted him to.

. . . . .

Stars filled the sky like glistening white sand on black velvet. Lying on my back, hands behind my head, I looked for familiar constellations. Aaron, beside me, had laid his large hand on my hipbone as he liked to do, and it was comforting. My butt was still spasming.

"Damn, that was good," said Aaron with a sigh.

"Well for somebody. You got really excited."

He laughed and squeezed my hipbone. "I wasn't the only one. The way you were moving, shit... you were fuckin' me more than I was fuckin' you."

"Well, I'm feeling it now," I said. I moved his hand from my hip to my belly. "Rub me there. Calm down my insides."

Aaron rolled up on his side, switching hands on my belly, and propped his head on the one he had been using. He rubbed my belly gently. "I wasn't rough, was I?" he asked.

"Like I said. You got excited," I told him. "That's twice so far since we got out here."

"Glad you said 'so far,"" Aaron said, smiling down at me. He softly kissed my cheekbone. "I'll be gentler next time."

I frowned at him.

He smiled and laid a leg over me, rubbing the inside of my thigh with the inside of his. "We're damn good," he said. "I'll take you over any girl, any time."

Though we'd just made love, the weight of his body on my side, of his leg resting between mine, kept me from going soft. "Yeah, well," I said. "That'd be a no-brainer for me. I'd even take you over most guys."

Aaron nodded, knowingly. "We fuckin' turn each other on."

I wrapped an arm over him and stroked the hard muscles of his back. "Who would've thought," I said, my eyes on his. "Your like a drug for me, a really strong aphrodisiac."

He laughed. "I get a hard-on whenever I think about you... your legs..." he said, taking his hand from my belly to stroke my thigh. "... your butt..." his hand traveled there "... your long body..." he said, sliding his hand up my belly. "Why hell," he said. "I even get horny thinking about your face."

"Yeah, well," I told him, "after where you've put your little pleasure stick tonight, you can forget putting it in my face."

Aaron laughed again, a masculine, deep, happy laugh. He smiled down at me and lifted my head, sliding his arm under the back of my neck. With his other hand, he held my ribs and kissed me. "Sullivan?" he asked. "Why the hell did you stick with Reese?"

In the dim light, his eyes were intense, dark pools, and his breath washed over my mouth.

"If you don't understand, I'm not sure I can explain." I told him.

"What does that mean?" Aaron asked.

I patted low on his back with one hand and gripped his strong forearm with my other. "It means that you and I have something special, too, and I thought you might understand how I feel about Daniel."

His brow furrowed. "I'd never treat you like Reese did."

A whiff of cloud blew overhead and I watched it as I tried to think how to explain how I felt about Daniel without taking away any of how I felt about Aaron.

"Aaron, you gotta remember how it's been for Daniel and me. We fell in love, and like right away, we were together all the time for a year. I stayed over at his house every weekend and sometimes during the week. We didn't just make love... though we did that all the time. We lived together. We had fun together... almost every day. And then on our bike tour... that was like an incredible dream; riding, camping, making love every night, sometimes over and over."

I rubbed farther up Aaron's arm. "We made love in the tent. We made love in rivers. We made love on picnic tables. We even made love on top of a mountain... well sort of a mountain; a damn big hill."

"I don't know what it's like to be married to someone," I said quietly. "But if I ever married anyone, I'd want it to be like what Daniel and I had... what I want us to have again." I glanced at Aaron. "I want it back, Aaron. I want back what we had." I patted his arm. "Daniel and I belong together; I can't be happy without him."

"I could make you happy," Aaron said. "It'd be different with us. We could screw girls together and then screw each other after we wear them out. Hell, we could even marry a couple of hot chicks, have kids, and fuck each other at the ranch every weekend."

It was my turn to laugh. "You dickhead," I told him. "I'm not sure my butt would take it."

"So Reese never fucks you?"

"We take turns," I told him. "Just like you and Jorge take turns." I leaned back to look him in the eye. "So how come you never let me take a turn?"

"Jorge's got a boney butt. You don't," he said with a smile. Then his smile faded. "Maybe you shouldn't always let me. Maybe you need to stick up for yourself. You've always been too nice a guy, Sullivan. You let people push you around."

"Oh?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow."

"Especially Reese."

Looking past him, up into the sky, I sighed. "I'm not a wimp, Aaron. I'm not weak because I'm sticking with Daniel. And I'm not weak because I always let you fuck me. I do that because I want to." I glanced at him. "I like it. You make me like it. Besides," I said, squeezing his bicep again. "I like doing it because you like doing it."

His nostrils flared, almost imperceptibly. He moved his leg on my crotch and I thought I felt his cock thickening again.

"He's not good enough for you," he said.

"You don't know shit, Aaron." I pushed up out of his arms, sitting up. Aaron stayed on his side, but I felt his hand on my back.

Resting my chin on my good knee, I quieted myself while Aaron rubbed my back. "I'm sticking with him," I said.

"Yeah," Aaron said, softly. "I'm not surprised. I figured all along that you'd stick with him." Aaron pulled me back down and into his strong arms. "Anyone ever tell you that you're stubborn?" he asked with a small smile.

"Me?" I asked, amused, as Aaron rolled up on his side over me.

"Will you always be stubborn for me?" he asked quietly, his eyes gazing warmly down into mine. "Will you keep our friendship unbreakable?"

I laughed and stroked the hair back from the side of his face. "Oh, yeah."

Aaron pulled me snug in his arms. His cock pressed my side, and I felt my cock grow hard. I looked him in the eye. "I'm taking my turn."

"Next time," he said, sliding a hand down to my balls.

"This time," I said, struggling up. I grabbed one of his biceps in each hand and tried to force him onto his back.

Aaron grabbed my biceps in turn, and with a wide grin, struggled back, trying to roll me to my back.

We wrestled, gently, but forcefully, our grips on each other tightening. He grunted and tried to move over me, but I held him off. And suddenly, using my muscles, straining them after a whole summer of disuse, I felt exhilarated. Tightening my abs and leveraging off my butt, I tried sitting up toward him, forcing him back. But Aaron resisted, shoving back. And when he had me flat on my back, he moved his weight over me.

We still had each other firmly by the biceps, but now our cocks wrestled as well. And I do mean, 'wrestled', as naked bellies, butts, arms, shoulders, and even legs all worked against each other. I tried to throw him off and he held me down.

In a quick movement, he freed his arms and sliding down my body, wrapped them around the small of my back in a bear hug. He clamped his mouth on my nipple and sucked hard while at the same time, his hard chest pressed the underside of my cock. Aaron squeezed me tight and it felt damned good.

The more I struggled, the more exhilarated I felt, and the closer the pressure of his chest on my cock's underside brought me to orgasm. With both hands, I pushed down on his muscular shoulders, trying to break free. But he held me tightly and mouthed my other nipple. If I didn't get him off me, he was going to make me come.

And then he started working his knees forward, lifting me by the waist. There was no way I was going to let him do the fucking this time and I twisted, struggling to get free.

I cried out as a sharp pain shot up from my knee.

Immediately, Aaron was off me, scooting up beside me on his stomach, his face full of concern. The sharpness of the pain was gone as quickly as it came, though the promise of lingering soreness remained. I was still hard, and Aaron... was on his stomach.

Quickly, I rolled onto him, and looped my arms up under his shoulders to take him in a half nelson.

"You fuckin' asshole!" Aaron protested. He probably could have broken my hold; I felt like I was trying to half nelson a telephone pole. But he didn't break the hold, and I knew he'd let me take him, though he still moved in mock struggle.

The movements of his hard body felt damn good under me, and his muscular butt rubbed under my cock perfectly. The problem was, he was moving and my hands were occupied keeping the half nelson on him; I couldn't lube us. The wrestling had gotten me so damned horny, I could feel precum oozing, so I lifted my hips, dropping the tip of my cock into his crack, and I began to probe.

His movements slowed. I mouthed the back of his strong shoulder, chewing lightly with my teeth while I concentrated on the sensations from the end of my cock and probed for his entrance. I found it and pushed lightly once, twice; dabbing the spot with precum from my wet cockhead. Then I pressed against the opening.

"You aren't going to just shove that..." he started to say.

But I did shove, and my cockhead slipped in. He froze under me. I pushed in slowly, stopping whenever I needed to let him adjust. I lifted my hips to pull back an inch, then pushed forward an inch and a half. And then again. I worked slowly until I was all the way in and my body lay flush on his. Then I drove down with my hips, pushing even deeper.

Aaron, who had been gasping and breathing hard, tensed. "Geez, Sullivan, you forget how big you are!"

It amused me to think how much better Daniel, Colin, even Ryan handled my size, but Aaron, the tallest of them all, complained. But then, a little bit of precum wasn't a lot of lube. I kissed behind his neck and unwrapped my arms from under his. "We'll go slow," I promised, rubbing his strong shoulders.

I made a little circle with my hips, loosening him, enjoying the feel. Careful of my knee, I let my legs slide off to either side of his, and with the inside of my thighs, I felt the taut firmness of his. His back was hard under my chest and his hair smelled of sweat and mesquite and oak. Gripping his shoulders, I nuzzled into the hair on the back of his neck and took a deep breath.

"Ummm," I almost purred, pumping my hips, finding a rhythm. "I'll never find a girl with a butt like this," I mumbled. "You've got the best, fuckin' ass."

"Yeah," he said with a gasp. "That's how I feel about yours."

He bent one knee, slightly, out to the side. It gave me a hipbone to grab on to, a fold in his body to mold mine to. I moved with him, bringing my legs inside his, conforming my shape to his, the bottom of my balls now brushing lightly over the back of his.

"Shit, Sullivan!" he half whispered. "It's startin' to feel really good."

"Ummm, that's good," I murmured. "Because I'm going to take my time and really enjoy this."

The breeze blew lightly over my back, teasing between my legs like a feather, and I pressed myself onto Aaron's warm body. My cock was snug, deep, and warm in him. I hugged him and felt comfortable and intimate, almost protected, lying there on his strong back. And then I felt a surge of affection for the big guy.

Maybe Daniel was right. Maybe I fell in love with guys too easily. I thought about how I felt about Aaron and Ryan and Colin. And I had a transcendental moment out there under the stars, joined with Aaron. For an instant, time seemed to pause. With almost supernatural clarity, it came home to me how unique and special each of my friends was, and it literally filled me with wonder.

Daniel liked sampling guys like chocolates, and I could understand that. Guys were wonderful; guys were incredible. They were tall, short, dark, pale, strong, lean, smooth, hairy... in an endless variety of adolescent and young male bodies. But guys were more than that. They had spirit and heart and mind. And it seemed to me that intimacy with any guy had to involve an appreciation of all that made him unique.

I thought of Aaron, all cock and no brain at sixteen. And now he was almost a man, a strong man, with a warrior's heart - a beautiful warrior, with dark eyes and black hair, olive skin and dark nipples. And still, I could not think of Aaron apart from his cock, uncut, long, thick. He was gorgeous. But it wasn't just that Aaron was gorgeous or even that he had a warrior's heart. To experience Aaron was to experience that and more. Though I was enjoying being on top this time, I liked Aaron on top. I liked the way he moved over me, the way he held me, the way he took me, the way he made love to me and melted and remolded and strengthened me every time.

I thought of Ryan, still so like a boy, even at fifteen. But I figured he would always be boyish, enthusiastic, alive. I always enjoyed him. I treasured him. And no one was as devoted to me as Ry. But Ryan was more than that. The way his slender body yielded to me, molded to me, moved with me... always electrified me and stimulated all that was male in me.

And Colin, whose love and caring had helped to repair my broken body and spirit this summer. You can't get much more intimate than wiping someone's butt. We took care of each other. He'd been my life's companion since I was two years old, and we did love each other. I enjoyed being boys together; I looked forward to being men together.

And then I thought of Daniel. He was the most incredible of all. We each have our ideals of beauty and Daniel was mine, from his wheat colored hair to his slender form to his erect bearing. He was perfection for me, perfection in every way.

It is hard to explain to someone who has never encountered that "unique someone" who makes you complete and whole. It sounds clichéd, almost contrived to such a person when you try to tell them how amazing it is to discover who you really are by encountering whom you were meant to be with. The affect is much like giving current to an appliance. It may have looked like a TV before, but it only becomes a TV when you plug it in. Daniel and I plugged each other in.

He was beautiful, and he was smart. He belonged to me in a way he could belong to no one else. And I belonged to him. We were bound together.

Despite all his perfection in my eyes, he had failed me; he was human. But he wouldn't give up, and neither would I. And there was one thing I had with Daniel that I didn't have with anyone else; one thing I wanted back - adventure. Life with Daniel would always be an adventure.

I thought of him and I wanted him. I wanted him badly, viscerally; so badly at that moment that my gut wrenched, driving my cock even deeper into Aaron. And for a moment, I held there, pushed as deeply into Aaron as I could, wanting Daniel, almost wanting Daniel through Aaron in an inexplicable end to a transcendental moment.

And then the moment passed, and the reality of Aaron and Aaron's strong body swept back into my present. I pressed my cheek to the back of his neck and drove in again, and again, my strength to his strength, my body to his body, my cock to his warm, inner being, joining, pleasing, driving.

"When we're done," I murmured, "I want you to hold me in your arms all night."

"All night," Aaron murmured. "I'm going to make love to you all night, Sullivan." Then he moaned softly. "I'm going to fuck you until you're worn out and I can't do it any more, and then I still won't let you go."

"Maybe," I suggested, "we'll have to wrestle for it.

END PART 2

Top of page | Site Copyright © 1997-2024 IOMfAtS All Rights Reserved. All story and poetry copyrights are owned by their respective authors and their works are published under licence. All rights reserved. Reproduction of any part or element of this site is not permitted without a formal licence from the copyright owner. No part of this site may be used as source and/or training material for any Artificial Intelligence (AI) project. https://iomfats.org | Copyright, Disclaimer, Privacy Policy | Design concept by M EH | Powered by megaman

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну
We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну